Thing 1 has one goal right now… one aspiration.  To be accepted and attend Oklahoma Wesleyan University.

Like many, I was shocked and saddened by the news of the tornados in Oklahoma today.

OKWU is just 2 hours from Oklahoma City.

And like many, I started to question why God would allow something like this to happen.

And then I curse Adam and Eve for being… well, human.  Like me.

And then I feel bad because I’m judging people I never even met.  Because truth be told, I’m pretty sure I’d be the one to eat the apple I was told not to.

You see, I believe when the first sin happened it changed the way nature operated.  No longer was it perfect, and it opened the door to nature, weather, natural disasters.  I do not for one minute believe that God created or caused what happened today.

I do believe that good will come of this.

As I was reminding the hubs that many parents are without their children tonight…Thing 1 said to me, “So do you want me to not go to OKWU now, Mom?”

I hesitated for a moment before I said what I truly believe.

“I want you to go where God is calling you,” and after a pause, “I truly mean that.”

“I know you do, Mom,” he said.

“If it’s to OKWU then it’s to OKWU… if it’s to Zimbabwe, then it’s to Zimbabwe.  My mother sent her baby to war and she survived.”

I paused again.

“And I think I’ll know if you’re going where God calls you if I have a peace about it within my heart.”

We are not guaranteed tomorrow.  And I can’t predict disasters and keep my loved ones from harm’s way.

But I want to be the woman who does what God is calling her to do until her very last day – whenever that is.  And I want the same for my babies.

No matter where on this Earth that may be.

Until next time…

The post Thinking About Oklahoma and How It Relates To Me…. appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

Today, the hubs and I are celebrating three years together.  The gifts are to be leather if you’re traditional and crystal/glass if you’re modern.  Apparently I am neither, because I didn’t even get him a card.

In my defense, I have been laid up on this couch barely able to breathe all day… so his gift today can be the fact that I cooked dinner (breakfast for dinner, I slaved) and did 2 loads of laundry in between naps.

I’m romantic like that.

We do have a gazillion cards to open because we go to a card lovin’ church…

And we’ll go out with friends this weekend…

And we did our annual trip to Chuck E. Cheese last night to celebrate until I just couldn’t hold my head up any longer.  (We also decided last night that even when the kids are older, we are going to have to go to Chuck E. Cheese to celebrate our anniversary!)

I don’t know how/why he puts up with me…I’m not the easiest person to live with (I know because sometimes I have trouble putting up with myself!) but I’m glad he does…

So for your viewing pleasure, here are some shots from our trip last night…

Love ya hun…. here’s to at least three more….

Side note on this one:  We need to take this child to Vegas.  She can follow the right case along and they win all 50 tickets 75% of the time.

The post It’s Been Three Years And We Haven’t Killed Each Other Yet appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

I don’t have patience.  I don’t want to wait.  Ever.

I pay extra money to Amazon so that I can have my items in 2 days (for free) because when I decide that I want and/or need something, I don’t want to wait.

I don’t like to fish because I am of the opinion that when I cast my line out in the abyss of water, that a fish should attach itself immediately so that I can reel it back in.  I don’t want to sit there and wait for Mr. Fish to mosey along and finally decide that my bait is the snack du jour.

Additionally, if it just so happens that a fish attaches itself immediately to my line, I don’t want to wait for my husband to get to my pole to remove the fish.  I want him there, standing next to me as that puppy comes in… camera in hand.

(because seriously, if I am fishing AND I caught something, we’re going to hear about it for days and I need evidence that I did it.)

I have no patience for learning new things which is why I’m ever so grateful that God blessed me with being a quick learner.  There are two things that I can think of right now that I couldn’t grasp quickly and I gave up… one thing (learning Flash) I could care less about… but the other (learning to play the guitar) is something that I still would love to be able to do… but because I know that it won’t come easily or quickly, I’m less apt to keep at it.

I know.  I’m lazy.

Or maybe unmotivated?

Regardless of what you want to call me?  One thing remains the same…

I’m impatient.

And I’m reminded of this every.  single. day.

You see, I LOVE to look at the houses around here and see what they have planted in their flower beds.  Often times, I will take pictures and ask my mother-in-law what they are.

She will tell me.

Then I will tell the hubs what I want.

He will purchase it.

Then ask me where to plant it.

Then he plants it.

All within a very short time frame… because, you know, I’m impatient.

Which, with plants, pretty much equates to hurry up and wait.

Every day for the past week, I’ve walked out my front door to see this across the street in the neighbor’s yard.

(I wish that was clearer, but I had to zoom on my iPhone from the mailbox because I didn’t want to appear as creeperish as I felt AND because we had seven gazillion days of rain, while today was sunny, there was no way I was walking over to that bush to get a picture just for a blog post.)

Anywho… back to my impatience.

I look at that plant every day.  It’s be-u-ti-ful!  I mean, I bask in the glory of God’s creation every day that I walk out my front door and look at it.

I noticed it last year.

Took a picture.

Sent it to the hubs.

It’s a burning azalea or something having to do with fire.  Obviously.  It’s bright orange!  Like fire!

So of course, the picture to the hubs meant that one was in my possession within days and then in the ground and look.

Don’t be all like oh how pretty.  Because in case you missed it, this one doesn’t yet look like this one (and I’ll repost so you don’t have to scroll back to compare.)

And quite frankly?

I want it to.

Today.

(Totally not knocking the hubs.  One day I know it will be that pretty — should I not kill it first.  But I wanted the bush that I had been eyeing across the street.  And yes, the thought of sending the hubs across the street in the middle of the night with a shovel has crossed my mind.  But that would totally mess with the on staff at a church thing I got going on.)

So.

There you have it.

I’m taunted by the beautiful burning bush over there.

Every day.

Reminding me that I am so impatient.

What are you waiting for that reminds you of your impatience?

Until next time…

The post Patience…Or Lack There Of appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

Saturday was an interesting day…

First, it was the hubs’ birthday.  He celebrated the 20th anniversary of his 18th birthday.

(I know.  That’s math.  I had to think about it, too, when I overheard him talking to my mother on the phone.  He’s 38.)

He had a project to do and left before I arose from my deep slumber.  (Because for whatever reason, no matter how tired I am by the time Friday rolls around, I feel the need to stay up late and act like a teenager.  I pay for it every Saturday morning, when I’m forced to be a grownup and cart these things to all the activities they are involved in.)

But Saturday morning bought several events to our little area here in Southwest Virginia including the Strawberry Festival, the Chili Cookoff and the Cinco de Mayo celebration…. all taking place Downtown.

So, in a stroke of pure genius, the Rescue Mission (something so near and dear to my heart) decided that since there were going to be SO many people downtown, they should do something to draw attention to the 477 children served by the Mission last year.

Genius.  Pure genius! I only wish I were that smart…

So they organized a Pajama Parade.  And we went and participated with a few others from our church.

Why yes, that would be Thing 1 in the giraffe pajamas that he loves so much.  I won’t even tell you how much they cost.  My pajamas are just the pants the hubs got me for Christmas and my Jesus girl shirt that I got at the Beautiful Life Conference last year.  (I’m going this year as well, are you?)

I hate to admit it, but the giraffe stole the show.

We ran into some beauty queens.  (Is that what you call them?  I don’t know.  They had crowns and sashes.)

and then someone they were with suggested, perhaps, they all kiss the giraffe.

Poor Thing 1.

He’s not that kind of boy.

The face turned beat red.

He stated he had a girlfriend.

But here were these girls… giving the giraffe kisses.

But my favorite picture from the Pajama Parade?

I know.  Heart. Melt.

After the parade (in which we really just walked 5 blocks up and back on the streets of downtown allowing people to ask us (a) why we’re in our pajamas and (b) what the 477 stood for, we partook in a little strawberry shortcake.  Unless you’re a giraffe.  And then you opt for Kettle Corn.. fresh from the kettle.

I took one home to the hubs.  It was his birthday after all.

And from there, I needed to change out of my pjs and into something suitable for my very first tea party.

Seriously.

The ladies from my church had a tea party to honor our pastor who is retiring and another woman, who was the president of the ladies group for 10 years… she just stepped down.

It was fun…

And the food was… of course… amazing.  (The biggest benefit of an older congregation in the south.. nothing was picked up at Kroger on the way to the tea… it was ALL home made.)

Yeah.

Probably not the best thing to go to when you’re supposed to go out to dinner with your hubs and friends.

I was rather full when I left there…

But head home I did, a quick change into something more comfortable (read: jeans) and then out to dinner and back to play games…

and of course, by 9:30 I was ready to don those pajamas again.

So… what did your Saturday look like?

Until next time…

The post Pajama Parades and Tea Parties appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

Three years ago, I was doing what all soon-to-be-married women do…

Attempting to figure out what my new name would be and then all the variations on how to write it.

You know, a grown up version of what we did in middle and high school when a boy paid attention to us and we started doodling Mrs. so and so all over our notebooks.

Don’t even tell me you didn’t do that.  I’m not buying it.

First, it was hard to even decide what I wanted to call myself.

I mean, it was 2010. I didn’t have to take his name.   Yet, I didn’t feel confident marrying a man and keeping my ex-husband’s name.

I also didn’t feel confident getting rid of the name that I share with my biological children (the reason I kept my ex-husband’s last name when we divorced.  I didn’t divorce the kids… just him.)

So, here I was in a quandary, not sure what I should call myself and not hurt any one.

In the end, I decided to scrap my middle name given to me at birth (sorry Mom), keep Jacobson as my middle name and St.Clair as my new last name.  (Note:  Not hypenated.)

Heather Jacobson St.Clair

It took me a LONG time to come up with this name.

I even discussed this when I made it official at the Social Security Office.  I walked through my process with the lady at the window who I’m sure just wanted me to shut up, instead, nicely stating that I did, indeed, need to be happy with it…

I shared my new name with a friend who said, “Wow!  Heather Jacobson St.Clair.  That’s such an author name.”

And I agreed.  It had a really nice ring to it.  And I could totally see it at the bottom of the book that I would write and publish…

Except, since I’ve been married, my writing has been slim to none.

Part of it is the desire to write.  When it was just the three of us, I was more open.  They were my kids to be open about.  I’m a little more cautious now.

Words that were written here were used against me, so I’m cautious on that front as well.

But then there’s the time aspect to it.

My responsibilities have doubled.  Instead of two kids, there are four… five if you count the hubs… and with all those people, eating out or microwave meals aren’t really something we can do all the time, so there’s some homemaking involved.

And somewhere along the way, I morphed into this mom that I never thought I would/could be…

I’m not completely domestic, but I’m more than I was… (I made my own play dough a month ago!)

I’m not a stay-at-home-mom, but I might as well be… I work when the kids are in school and if they need me, I work right across the street from the school.

I don’t make the money I used to and sometimes I feel guilty… that I get to have all this fun while the hubs works hard.  (He doesn’t have a desk job.)  But then I’m reminded that he doesn’t have to worry about who’s going to leave work to pick up a sick kid, or who is going to get a kid to practice.  On the whole, that’s my job.  (I do have to ask for help from time to time when there is more than one kid that needs to get somewhere…)

I’m no where near the perfect mother, but I am madly in love with these children… in a way that I never thought possible… (even the ones that I didn’t birth…)

So here I am with an author’s name… with no published book.

I’m not building a platform.

I’m not trying to earn followers.

I can’t tell you the last time a tweet went out that I actually wrote.

And while I might not be penning the words of the story I know I have in me, I know that I’m an author in the story of their lives…

And that, my friends, no matter how you look at it, is a masterpiece.

Until next time…

The post Irony appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

The post Wordless Wednesday appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

I came home to the hubs ready to take down a tree.  After nagging him about being on a ladder and notching it out without anyone here, he said he was just waiting on Thing 1 so it would fall in the right spot.

Me:  I just don’t see how it’s not going to fall on the power line or phone line.

The Hubs:  That’s why I’m waiting on Thing 1.  Have some faith.

Me:  If I lose power or internet, I’m leaving.

The Hubs:  Well I love you too.

Me:  I meant to go to Panera. I have work to do.

I have video of the tree falling…not in the place where it was supposed to and becasue I don’t post certain words on my blog, facebook, etc. I can’t share it, however I did send it to my mother with the caption, “This is why I pay good money for my iPhone… to capture life’s little moments.”

And then after the tree had come down and was chopped up and hauled away…. (we have such hard working boys!)

Thing 3: (In a very concerned, almost mournful voice) It’s going to be so hard to look and not see this tree anymore.

The Hubs:  Why?  (Shocked at the comment) It’s a half dead tree.

Thing 2:  Why not wait until it’s fully dead?  I mean, we don’t knock off old people.

I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

Until next time…

The post Family Conversations and Fallen Trees appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

“So, somehow I ended up reading your blog today,” said my 16 year old, Thing 1 as he was driving me to Thing 4′s ball game.

“Oh yeah?” I responded.

“Yeah.  I don’t remember why I ended up there.”

“Do you not normally read my blog?” I asked.

“No,” he responded.  I was crushed.  Here I thought he scoured it, reading every word I ever wrote.  After all, he is my friend on Facebook and all the posts come through there.  ”But your 40 before 40?”

“I know,” I said with a chuckle.  ”I’m not even close to completing them all.”

“No where close, Mom.  And your 100 things about me?  I loved reading that.  I like how you crossed things off to update it.  It was pretty funny.”

My self-confidence rose just a bit.

“I AM pretty funny, you know.”

“Whatever Mom,” he said with the all too well known 16 year old eye roll.

We continued on for a bit when he said, “oh yeah!  Now I know how I ended up there.  I went looking for the post about the prank.”

“Yeah, I didn’t get to that yet.”

“I was hoping it would be there so that I could show my friends,” he said.

“Truthfully, I was too lazy to upload all those pictures documenting the mess you made and the way you all torture each other,” I responded.

“So, you think maybe you’ll do that tonight? You know, post about the prank?”

“No.  But I’m thinking this conversation might make an appearance.  It doesn’t involve pictures.”

So there you have it… I learned that my kid doesn’t read my blog but he does think I’m funny… I need to do serious work on my 40 before 40 list AND I’m lazy if pictures are involved on the blog.

What did you learn this week?  Link up at From Inmates to Playdates.

Until next time…

The post What I Learned This Week – I’m Lazy When It Comes To the Blog appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

I worked in television sales on the local level for most of my career.  So I pay attention to commercials.

So have you seen this one?

If you don’t wish to watch, that’s okay (I don’t blame you).  But it’s for the Vaseline Spray and Go.  The woman literally goes from under clothes to completely dressed (complete with hat and shoes AND lotioned up – arms and legs) and ready to walk out the door in less than 30 seconds.

Have we, as a society, become so busy that this appeals to us?  That we don’t have the 5 minutes to apply lotion?

I would venture to say that if I purchase this and I was running late to begin with, I still wouldn’t take the time to use it.  I skip a morning of lotion.

So weigh in… do you use this?  Does this product appeal to you?  I’d love to know if I’m alone in this!

Until next time…

The post The Latest Commercial That Irks Me appeared first on Desperately Seeking Sanity.

Short post tonight.  (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha… I really intended it to be shorter…)  Truthfully, I’ve been trying to get to bed all evening, but this has been on my heart to share.

Truthfully?  It’s an amazing story to share.

Several months ago, I was asked to speak at the Rescue Mission.  Cool, right?  Of course!  I love to speak. (Clearly!)  I love to speak about Jesus.  And what a privilege to bring a message of hope to those at the Mission.

It was way cool until last week when I went to start preparing.

I panicked.  But I put it behind me.

I continued to put it behind me.  I finally had a outline of what I wanted to talk about but last night, I whined to the hubs…. “It’s a GREAT message… but it’s just not Heather.”

“So make it, Heather,” he said.

Well, duh.  But I just couldn’t seem to add what I needed to it.

Today, my plan was to spend every waking moment making this message mine… to make it, Heather… to feel CONFIDENT delivering it… because really?  If I’m not confident in telling you about the greatest man to ever live, would YOU want to follow Him?

Exactly.

Satan had other plans and I was attacked..

all. day. long.

A project I was working on for someone else went awry….

I couldn’t find one of the W-2s to finish the taxes… (never mind that I waited until the last minute.. it was only supposed to take 30 minutes!)

I was late getting to the school to volunteer for the roller skating unit… (I help tie skates for the 3rd graders!)

…the day continued like this where my mind was taken away from this message and truly preparing myself for tonight.

About the time the tears came, mostly mad at myself for not being on top of things and feeling like I was letting everyone down, I get a great message from the hubs…

“I full well believe that satan doesn’t want you to deliver your message tonight.  Which means there’s somebody there that needs to hear it.  Praying for you.  Old pointy ears can get bent.  You’re gonna nail it.  I have no doubt.”

I tried to sit down several times and study it, to go over it.  But then ball practice got cancelled.  So I had to contact all 10 families.  Then I had to find another ride for Thing 4 to Girl Scouts instead of ball practice.

I read the message to those in the kitchen.

I hated it.

I wasn’t confident.

My older kids tried to tell me they didn’t want to come (in which I preached an entirely different sermon about how I am ALWAYS there supporting them, driving, waiting, paying, etc. and they could at least take 45 minutes of their busy lives to come and see their mother!)

Really, it was just the lies of satan.  I knew it.  So by the time I got in the car, I prayed the whole way there and told satan to suck it.

(For my new readers, I do have a “satan suck it” play list!)

By the time they finished with praise reports from the women at the mission, I was in tears.  Seeing these women, who really were in the valleys that I was about to talk about how God moving… and then this one woman said, “When I came in here, I was in a bad mood.  Someone handed me this Bible and I opened it and read this…. ” she started in Psalm 106, but the amazing part is she said that she had NEVER picked up a Bible before and that verse she opened to was exactly what she needed to hear.

I lost it.  Fortunately, I had some time to regroup while the friends I brought from our old church sang a few songs and then I was up…

I think it was well received.  I think they liked me.  And like I knew they would, once I got going, the nerves were gone.

After I spoke the chaplain gave the invitation and as I looked out among the women, there one stood.  And she came forward.  And we prayed.  Then there was another woman who came up to ask for prayer… she just felt like satan had a strong hold on her and I shared with her how it was okay to tell him to suck it.

She laughed.  (Who doesn’t?)

And we prayed.

As I walked out of the mission, I started to sing, “This girl is on fire….” before I was stopped quickly in my tracks.

No.  It wasn’t me.  I’m just a vessel.

So I quickly changed the words to the song…

“My God is on Fire…”

Because only He could’ve orchestrated this.

Coincidentally, Thing 2 has been making up religious songs to top 40 songs all night now.  Some are better than others.  Regardless, I love that my job was to provide hope to those at the mission tonight…

…and as a result, we all were able to witness God at work, adding a slightly different atmosphere in the House of Chaos tonight.

Yes… My God is on Fire…. and I want to continue to fan the flames…

Until next time..

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