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	<title>Debra Benton's Blog</title>
	
	<link>http://debrabenton.com/blog</link>
	<description>"Taking You From Promise To Prominence"</description>
	<pubDate>Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:48:36 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>How to Apologize — and show that you mean it.</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DebraBentonsBlog/~3/YsmqIQgLxm0/</link>
		<comments>http://debrabenton.com/blog/how-to-apologize-and-show-that-you-mean-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Mar 2010 16:29:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator />
		
		<category><![CDATA[Speaking Professionally]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://debrabenton.com/blog/how-to-apologize-and-show-that-you-mean-it/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There are specific steps you should take when you apologize. The following link is an interview I did on the subject but I&#8217;ll recap for you here:
-Review your position with the legal department
-Recognize your mistake and acknowledge your fault
-show Regret sincerely
-take Responsibility with no blame toward others
-explain the Remedy you have to offer to correct [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span id="more-195"></span>There are specific steps you should take when you apologize. The following link is an interview I did on the subject but I&#8217;ll recap for you here:<br />
-Review your position with the legal department<br />
-Recognize your mistake and acknowledge your fault<br />
-show Regret sincerely<br />
-take Responsibility with no blame toward others<br />
-explain the Remedy you have to offer to correct the situation<br />
-Rehearse your message and delivery<br />
-Repeat the message as necessary<br />
-Respect that people still will want to/need to scold you<br />
-go to Re-hab if appropriate<br />
-Repair your reputation with positive new steps<br />
-Remember that people&#8217;s memory will fade</p>
<p>http://www.centralvalleybusinesstimes.com/stories/001/?ID=14540#drilldown</p>
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		<item>
		<title>WHEN YOU GET A NEW BOSS, THE PERSON WITH THE NEW JOB IS YOU.</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DebraBentonsBlog/~3/8t1M0t19ul0/</link>
		<comments>http://debrabenton.com/blog/when-you-get-a-new-boss-the-person-with-the-new-job-is-you/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 07 Jan 2010 18:09:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator />
		
		<category><![CDATA[Speaking Professionally]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://debrabenton.com/blog/when-you-get-a-new-boss-the-person-with-the-new-job-is-you/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[How do you ‘go on board’ when you’re already there?
When you get a new boss you are the unknown.  Even though your job position hasn’t changed, you have to take the same action as if you are going on board a new position. 
When nearly 10% loose their jobs the remaining 90% get shuffled [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>How do you ‘go on board’ when you’re already there?</p>
<p>When you get a new boss you are the unknown.  Even though your job position hasn’t changed, you have to take the same action as if you are going on board a new position. </p>
<p>When nearly 10% loose their jobs the remaining 90% get shuffled around ending up with different reporting relationships.</p>
<p>Before you meet your new boss take some time and Monday morning quarterback the mistakes you made with your previous boss. Think about and write down what you should have done differently then plan to remedy past errors. </p>
<p>Provide positive support even if you feel you should have gotten the job. You didn’t. How you handle yourself at this standpoint might get you the job next time.</p>
<p>Welcome the person the same way you might a new neighbor. Invite to lunch or offer to bring sandwiches in to have time to talk and get to know each other</p>
<p>Ask and listen to learn how to best work together; don’t guess. Find out his or her first 30-90 day agenda; the most important issues or problems to solve.  Here’s an occasion to ask basic, maybe even stupid-sounding questions. When one executive was asked, how do you prefer to communicate: face to face, telephone, email? He said,  ‘I like yellow post-it notes left on my desk so when I return to my office I can scan them and see what I need to respond to.” </p>
<p>Make the impression you want your new boss to have of you.  Show confidence in who you are and what you bring to the table. From the first time you meet ensure the message you send is the one you intend with your appearance, manner, and comportment. If you have self-doubt, the person will cut you off in a heartbeat. You&#8217;ll never really recover if you misstep here.</p>
<p>Tell your new boss about your job duties, responsibilities, your team, and scope of work as it fits in with the rest of the department/company. Seek out how he or she views changes in your role. (Don’t criticize your former boss.) </p>
<p>Delve into Google, Facebook, Linkedin, or other internet sources.  People put information on themselves they want you to know. Keep in mind, your new manager is likely reading your profile and updates as well. </p>
<p>Observe and study how he or she interacts and reacts to colleagues, subordinates, and superiors. In a non-judgmental fashion look for consistencies and inconsistencies; check out what works and doesn’t work with the individual.</p>
<p>After you understand what your new boss wants to achieve and avoid, do something successful and worthwhile around it. Sticking to your old bosses agenda is a mistake. There is a new sheriff downtown. Do more than the person expects; demonstrate initiative without requiring further direction. Come in with, “This is what we should do and here&#8217;s how I think we should do it.” Don’t pester with, “Now what should I do?”  </p>
<p>And, stay in touch with your old boss. If things don’t go well, he or she might be a source of good advice – or a resource for ways to get out.</p>
<p>You might ask, “Isn’t it the boss’s job to get to know me?” Yes, it is. And he or she is getting to know you by how you get to know her.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DebraBentonsBlog/~4/8t1M0t19ul0" height="1" width="1"/>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Baby Boomer’s Mentor Problem: Their Trusted Advisors Grow Old and Die</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DebraBentonsBlog/~3/o-OLccI4WI4/</link>
		<comments>http://debrabenton.com/blog/baby-boomers-mentor-problem-their-trusted-advisors-grow-old-and-die/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Nov 2009 22:15:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator />
		
		<category><![CDATA[Speaking Professionally]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://debrabenton.com/blog/baby-boomers-mentor-problem-their-trusted-advisors-grow-old-and-die/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Who to go to for wise advice now?
President Obama declared Senator Ted Kennedy his mentor.  Katie Couric and Dan Rather claimed Walter Cronkite was theirs.  Just three very public examples that represent a larger demographic trend of baby boomers who have lost their mentors. 
Traditionally mentors are older which means to a 50-60 [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Who to go to for wise advice now?</p>
<p>President Obama declared Senator Ted Kennedy his mentor.  Katie Couric and Dan Rather claimed Walter Cronkite was theirs.  Just three very public examples that represent a larger demographic trend of baby boomers who have lost their mentors. </p>
<p>Traditionally mentors are older which means to a 50-60 year-old boomers’ advisors are 70-80 years-old. At that age their trusted guides undergo more health problems, lose the stamina to offer advice, have memory problems, spend time golfing, sailing, or die. </p>
<p>So what does a baby boomer do who wants to keep learning from wise people? Have a mentor succession plan to find people willing to share the knowledge or experience you lack. </p>
<p>Set aside the notion that a mentor needs to be older than you &#8212; go junior. Get in your pipeline niche expertise where someone knows more than you in an area. Keep connecting with new people but don’t dismiss the youngsters you’ve known for years who over time developed a substantial depth and breath of experience too. </p>
<p>Old people have stories but young people have technology. If you get behind in the current technology, you will really be behind in the next big thing. When you connect with younger people, you get the advantage of their age group and where they are going. </p>
<p>Mend fences. You need all the people you can find in your circle of experienced advisors. That may mean apologizing, setting aside grudges, or taking steps to reconnect with people you’ve excluded. As you age and mature, set aside or clear up past misunderstandings. </p>
<p>Become a mentor to more people. Be the wise and trusted counselor to an up and comer. You give back plus you learn when you teach. “I was his mentor, and then he got smarter than me. And now he&#8217;s mine,” says one boomer.</p>
<p>Turn to books.  Autobiographies, biographies, and self-help books open your eyes.  The worldly wisdom it took the author years to capture and record, you get to acquire in the time it takes to fly from New York to Los Angeles.  </p>
<p>Seize the wisdom of remarkable mentors around you today.  Take notes, listen, and remember so you can call upon yourself for answers from their utterances. And so their voice is never lost video them and carry around on you iPhone.</p>
<img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/DebraBentonsBlog/~4/o-OLccI4WI4" height="1" width="1"/>]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>In a Recession… Should You Hold out or Sell Out if You’re Offered a Job You Don’t Really Want?</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DebraBentonsBlog/~3/P6ALVb951qk/</link>
		<comments>http://debrabenton.com/blog/in-a-recession-should-you-hold-out-or-sell-out-if-youre-offered-a-job-you-dont-really-want/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Aug 2009 23:50:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator />
		
		<category><![CDATA[Speaking Professionally]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://debrabenton.com/blog/?p=188</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You need a job. You just got offered a job. The problem is, it's not your dream job. Should you take it, or should you hold out until the perfect opportunity comes along? After all, we're in a recession and it could be a long time until another offer comes your way. ]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You need a job. You just got offered a job. The problem is, it&#8217;s not your dream job. Should you take it, or should you hold out until the perfect opportunity comes along? After all, we&#8217;re in a recession and it could be a long time until another offer comes your way.</p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">I</span><span style="color: #003333;">t is often a mistake to treat any job offer as a simple question of yes or no.  Of course, you may have to accept the job if bills are piling up and you have to put food on the table. But if that is not the case, there are other issues to consider. </span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">Here are answers to the questions that will be on your mind when that less-than-perfect offer comes your way:</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #006600; font-style: italic;">I was just offered a job, but I&#8217;m not sure if it is exactly what I&#8217;m looking for. It feels like a detour on the career path I planned before the current recession hit. Should I turn it down, even though there aren&#8217;t lots of options today? </span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">If it is financially possible to hold out for the job you want (or a job leading to what you want), do so.  If you settle for what you can get, you&#8217;ll be unhappy from the start, and likely do poor work. And if the interim job is demanding, you will limit the time and energy you have to search for the better job. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">Before you accept or reject a new job, though, you need a grasp of what you really want. If you don&#8217;t know what you hanker for, you won&#8217;t know if you&#8217;ve found it. Put meaningful thought and time in to assess what you seek. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">Look beyond the pay and title and consider the learning opportunities, geographic location, cost-of-living, promotion potential, freedom or latitude, exposure to higher-ups, decision-making ability, and anything else that may be important to you. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #336600; font-style: italic;">What if my financial situation is forcing me to accept it?</span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">Be appreciative of the opportunity and accept the offer graciously.  Work hard to earn whatever you are making, regardless of how little or less it might be. Remember that you are filling in gaps in your résumé, contributing to society, and supporting your family. Those are all valid, honorable things to do. But privately vow to &#8220;pay&#8221; yourself in skill building and knowledge. With that outlook, you can add value to yourself every day by earning a dollar, saving a dollar, or learning a new skill.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #006600; font-style: italic;">The interim job serves a purpose for me right now, but I&#8217;m afraid of what other people will say or think when they hear I&#8217;ve accepted it. </span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">Avoid pressure to evaluate a job based on what others want you to do. Instead, evaluate it based on what you want. Listen to people who care about you, but decide for yourself - not for them.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #006600; font-style: italic;">If I accept the job and then leave in a few months because something better comes along, how much damage will I do to my career and reputation</span><span style="color: #006600;"><span style="font-style: italic;">?</span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;"><span style="color: #333300;"><br />
</span></span><span style="color: #003333;">The sooner you tell your boss you&#8217;re leaving, the sooner he or she can look for a replacement. A reasonable person and good boss will understand. </span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">But be fair, since no one wants to be surprised when you just don&#8217;t show up one day. Have the courtesy and courage to say, &#8220;I&#8217;m not going to show up.&#8221; Thank your interim boss for hiring you for the job, and offer to help through the transition if doable. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">The best time to leave any job is after you&#8217;ve learned all you can in that position, not just for more money.  Leave for goal-achieving, not tension relieving-reasons. Goal-achieving means, &#8220;I&#8217;ve learned what I need to know and I want to take and test my new skills in a different area.&#8221; Tension-relieving is, &#8220;I can&#8217;t stand my co-worker, I have to get out of here.&#8221; </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">Be sure to stay in touch when you&#8217;re in the new job. After all, you and the boss you left might have an opportunity to help each other in the future. Research shows that 25% of people who leave a company rejoin it at some point, if bridges were not burnt. There is no reason to alienate on either side in this situation. The only repercussions should be if you lie, cheat, steal, while on the job or in leaving it. (And of course, you are not about to do those things.)</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">Until the minute you walk out the door, keep up quality work. Don&#8217;t let it diminish in anticipation of your departure. You don&#8217;t want people to remember your work going downhill.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">And another thing. If the interviewer for that &#8220;perfect&#8221; job you&#8217;ve been waiting for pressures you to leave your interim job too quickly, without respecting the quality of the work you do there, speak up and say that you need to give proper notice, wrap up your projects, and leave on honorable terms. Any ethical hiring manager will respect you for taking that position. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #006600; font-style: italic;">What is the benefit of turning down the &#8220;not so perfect job&#8221; and pursuing a better opportunity?</span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">If you refuse the less-than-perfect-job offer, you have more time available to look for the better opportunity. You salvage your pride a little, and you&#8217;ll be happier when you achieve the goal of finding the right job. But it is only time well spent if you know what you want. If you don&#8217;t know where you want to go, you can never reach any goal.</span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">Will taking a job that is not the most &#8220;ideal&#8221; affect my career in the future?</span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">Benton: If you make the decision out of laziness or lack of confidence, then, yes, it will affect your career because laziness and lack of confidence affect everything now, and in the future.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">But taking a lesser job can be justifiable and wise if you understand the reality of the condition and take it upon yourself to:<br />
1) Learn all you can from the job; 2) Stay positive; and 3) Work to get back on track in the future. Don&#8217;t look, hope, or wait for someone else to do that for you. With that kind of outlook, taking an interim job becomes a proactive, positive activity instead of a dead end.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #006600; font-style: italic;">What if the job that isn&#8217;t so great, pays well?</span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">Accepting a job just for money is like marrying just for money - there is a price you pay for your decision. Money should not be your main motivation, especially early in your career.  Skill-building, broadening business acumen, and deepening your knowledge should be.  Plus you cannot put a price on waking up every morning and doing what you love to do.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">Realistically though, the financial bump can get you solvent, improve your pay history, and boost your ego. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">Always keep in mind the choice you made and vow to not get trapped into golden handcuffs where you can&#8217;t leave because you are making too much, despite your job dissatisfaction. Write on your calendar a date no more than two and a half years out. If you are still stuck in a high-paying but unsatisfying job, that is your date to move into a satisfying situation.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #006600; font-style: italic;">Have America&#8217;s top CEOs been known to accept something that isn&#8217;t the perfect job?</span><br />
<span style="color: #003333;">Absolutely, most everyone has, at least in their own minds. They&#8217;ve been given, and they&#8217;ve accepted, less-than-desirable positions. The smart ones squeeze every opportunity to make something out of these positions for the time being, while working to change things. </span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">The truth is that you might be given a &#8220;rotten&#8221; job as a test to see how you will handle it, what you will do with it or make out of it. Anyone can do well when things are perfect, but the good ones do well when things are far from perfect. Leaders always emerge stronger from difficult positions, so a job that presents real problems could represent an opportunity to excel.</span></p>
<p><span style="color: #003333;">It is a bit like the decisions that actors and actresses must make before they become top stars. My guess is if you researched every role Johnny Depp has ever taken, there are some real doozies in his past that he took to learn, gain confidence, and enhance his skill. And he was probably passed over for some roles he wanted, just as CEOs are. But the reason he can choose the juicy roles he wants now is that he knows what he wants - and that kind of knowledge comes from experience. </span></p>
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		<title>In a Company, Are Three Martinis Too Many? Debra Benton Answers in NYTimes Career Couch</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/DebraBentonsBlog/~3/YQ9YTzelIts/</link>
		<comments>http://debrabenton.com/blog/in-a-company-are-three-martinis-too-many-debra-benton-answers-in-nytimes-career-couch/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 03 Aug 2009 17:49:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator />
		
		<category><![CDATA[Speaking Professionally]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://debrabenton.com/blog/?p=184</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A simple “no, thanks” should suffice, said Debra Benton, a career coach and author of “C.E.O. Material: How to Be a Leader in Any Organization.” If everyone in your group is ordering a drink, get a soda or a tonic and lime.
Full Story: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/jobs/02career.html?_r=2&#38;scp=3&#38;sq=career%20couch&#38;st=cse
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A simple “no, thanks” should suffice, said Debra Benton, a career coach and author of “C.E.O. Material: How to Be a Leader in Any Organization.” If everyone in your group is ordering a drink, get a soda or a tonic and lime.</p>
<p>Full Story: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/jobs/02career.html?_r=2&amp;scp=3&amp;sq=career%20couch&amp;st=cse">http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/02/jobs/02career.html?_r=2&amp;scp=3&amp;sq=career%20couch&amp;st=cse</a></p>
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