tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870Sat, 05 Oct 2024 02:12:08 +0000Local T-ListersUnexplained PhenomenaBadvertisingWardrobe MalfunctionsSigns of the TimesSix Feet UndergroundMoving ViolationsObjects of My DisaffectionDTS AbroadOverhearding: A New Kind of TortureSquare MealsCaution: Tourists At PlayInformation OverloadTragic TimesYou are batshit crazy and I currently cannot afford a shrink. But don't worry, we can blog it out.http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.com (ST)Blogger80125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-2348733418205597988Tue, 11 May 2010 15:05:00 +00002010-05-11T12:53:27.611-04:00In the past two weeks, dramatic things have happened in Times Square. Exploding SUVs, evacuations and coolers filled with, GOOD GOD, MAN ... water bottles. You know what hasn't happened? This blog.I'm guessing it's pretty obvious that I've semi-abandoned this thing. Will I ever write on it again? To be honest, I'm not sure. Don't get me wrong, Times Square continues to be as mindblowingly http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2010/05/dtss-greatest-hits.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-2671866654215484405Wed, 20 Jan 2010 21:00:00 +00002010-01-20T16:23:42.676-05:00Overhearding: A New Kind of TortureSix Feet UndergroundIf you've ridden the NYC subway in the past couple of years, there's a good chance you've seen Rubik's Cube guy. He walks around giving a mildly amusing spiel about the Rubik's Cube's claim to fame as the predecessor to PlayStation - and then he sells cubes for a dollar. Usually, he sells a few cubes per car. Is it slightly annoying to hear anyone talking loudly on a morning commute train, sure. http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2010/01/copyright-infringement-silent-killer.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-4745043426679218254Tue, 29 Dec 2009 22:30:00 +00002009-12-29T17:33:06.556-05:00Unexplained PhenomenaIn Times Square, home of the Oblivious, it's exceedingly rare to find someone who is refreshingly self-aware.Thank god this man knows how obnoxious he is.Of course that doesn't explain phenomena like:a) why he's talking to Spider-Manb) why Spidey looks like he's about to slip him an unmarked envelopec) why he continues to ask me if I like comedy. Every. Damn. Day. There is a step after Acceptancehttp://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/12/what-do-you-think-is-inthat-envelope.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-454901049300823182Mon, 28 Dec 2009 20:17:00 +00002009-12-28T15:46:17.326-05:00Overhearding: A New Kind of TortureTrudging through the pedestrian traffic in Times Square at any time of year means that - despite my best efforts to render my eardrums useless via the 8th incarnation of my earbuds - I will inevitably be forced to overhear a conversation that will blow the very fabric of space/time with its stupidity. Trudging through said TS traffic during the holidays raises the stakes of the equation thus: http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/12/sometimes-i-wish-esl-hadnt-worked-for.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-4164206337577640612Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:29:00 +00002009-12-16T14:42:38.945-05:00Local T-ListersObjects of My DisaffectionYou know it's holiday time in Times Square when:1) Dingy Elmo changes out his pimp hat for a Santa hat.2) Santa's silhouette juxtaposes with the Lace stripper silhouette to make this striking high-art image.3) I finally find out who those mannequins around the GMA holiday table are supposed to be and it suddenly makes so much more sense that it's Carrot Top in that weird Satan worship pose.And http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/12/its-beginning-to-look-lot-like.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-1188739798183526773Thu, 10 Dec 2009 18:04:00 +00002009-12-10T13:38:40.710-05:00Caution: Tourists At PlayAbout two hours ago there was a fatal shooting on 46th and Broadway. You can read the details here.This is scary and tragic and someone has now lost his life.However, this doesn't stop the tourists of TS from continuing to do what they do best: being tastelessly overexcited and stationary in the most inappropriate places.Far from staying away from the swarms of cops now at the area, most were http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/12/let-us-entertain-you.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-6122104199288845283Tue, 08 Dec 2009 15:45:00 +00002009-12-08T11:20:37.953-05:00Objects of My DisaffectionI pass by the Good Morning America studios every morning on my way to work. Even though there have been some questionable things/people on display there at times, I haven't written about it yet because I usually put my head down and hope to make it past the corner in less than 10 minutes.This morning, I saw that they had put up their Christmas windows. The first window was a large but rather http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/12/celebrating-yuletide-traditionsdts.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-7777003556986668709Fri, 04 Dec 2009 16:30:00 +00002009-12-11T11:07:49.137-05:00Local T-ListersYesterday's post inspired me to really embrace those Times Square characters and phenomena that in turn embrace what Times Square means to me. Toilets, giant inflatable rats,and other bottom-feeding scavengers.Please note that the rat and the shrimp were within about three feet of each other.Now the shrimp is there to 'advertise' for Bubba Gump which at least makes sense despite the fact that I http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/12/times-square-at-face-value.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-2035064455900439035Thu, 03 Dec 2009 17:28:00 +00002009-12-03T18:14:10.164-05:00Local T-ListersIf there ever comes a time during this holiday season that you start to doubt your career choices, that you wonder if your job is meaningless, demeaning or unbearably menial - think of this man.This man is dressed as a toilet in the middle of Times Square. While I applaud that the costuming is much more apropos to its environment than any cheery faux Muppet - and while I actually think Charmin's http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/12/and-what-happens-when-you-flush.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-7972941935541647712Tue, 01 Dec 2009 18:56:00 +00002009-12-01T14:33:23.450-05:00Moving ViolationsAs someone who was in NYC on 9/11, there are few subjects which bring me to a more somber tone. Although I feel there is no way that anyone who was here can ever forget any of it, I generally don't comment on the 'Never Forget' paraphernalia that exists.Until now.Seriously?! Okay, yes demolition company - I get that you have a right to express yourself just like anyone else. But maybe consideringhttp://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/12/context-is-everything.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-1955119285639414557Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:45:00 +00002009-11-30T22:22:02.716-05:00Local T-ListersThe holiday season is upon us and could I really let this special time of year go by without bringing you the yuletide crazy that is sure to twinkle ever so brightly in Times Square? No, I could not. You can thank Santa for putting you on the 'Nice' list.And because the merriment of the season has put me in a super-generous mood, I present you with this most rare and ultimate of all DTS photos. Ihttp://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/11/andwere-back.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-3655478142078401353Wed, 16 Sep 2009 12:50:00 +00002009-09-16T16:48:09.385-04:00DTS AbroadIn Part II of What DTS Did On Its Summer Vacation: Atlantic City Edition, we ask - after a grueling henna session, what else could one need other than a nice, soothing massage?Luckily, I have two AC "Spa" recommendations which come with extremely top-notch credentials. The first:As you can see, this massage parlor has the distinction of getting the highly coveted rating of "Voted # [Thumbs Up]." http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/09/decisions-decisions.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-7710164079739531204Tue, 15 Sep 2009 12:28:00 +00002009-09-15T08:35:51.276-04:00DTS AbroadWell, folks, summer is almost officially over. And not only did we New Yorkers get a rainy, dreary, gloomy one, but I wasn't even able to harness the crazy enough to write regular posts on this thing. If there was a DTS Eeyore, I would insert him here now.Even though this summer doesn't really deserve it, I think I'm going to try to give it one last hurrah by dedicating this new mini-themed blog http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/09/what-dts-did-on-its-summer-vacation.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-2657652437253251445Wed, 26 Aug 2009 17:06:00 +00002009-08-27T00:26:33.303-04:00Local T-ListersTell me, dear readers. Is it true what they say: does absence really make the heart grow fonder?In the past few weeks, some major motion picture has shot something or other in Times Square, causing me to externalize my usual internal monologue of 4-letter words as I elbow my way through the foot-traffic of 4,273 people staring at a lighting rig and some really sexy lens filters. Britney Spears http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/08/until-we-meet-again.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-7498334646524116533Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:57:00 +00002009-08-06T08:37:02.080-04:00Local T-ListersI have to say, one of my favorite things about Times Square is that it really offers options. For example, are scantily-clad Cowboys not really your thing?Well then, you've got to admire a place that targets the scantily-clad Silver Egyptian/Native American/Spartan Hybrid God fans and then really delivers:I do like that this man is not only dedicated enough to work out but to spray paint between http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/08/silver-lining.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-1058150546228949867Mon, 27 Jul 2009 21:04:00 +00002010-05-11T11:10:56.766-04:00Local T-ListersI have to admit. Comparatively, this Pooh is pretty benign:I mean, yes, he's felt the the need to inscribe his own name on his shirt, either because he thought he wouldn't be recognized or because they have a previously-unreported belly shirt theft problem in the 100 Acre Wood.And, yes, he's carrying a most un-Pooh like hamper bag that probably reads "Tips," but which I'm going to go ahead and http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/07/willy-nilly-killy-old-bear.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-5581360459034639860Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:13:00 +00002009-07-24T11:43:08.938-04:00Local T-ListersI really like when Times Square decided to meld its mindfuckery into one cohesive piece.Readers, please say Hello to Bridesmaid Kitty:Photo courtesy of @baddjujuGorgeous. I especially like the matching felt lavender dots that are crowning her forehead. That's very Mischa Barton of you, Bridesmaid Kitty. I'm also glad to see that you're carrying a proper purse instead of a Christmas stocking. http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/07/here-comes-kitty.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-3972507251695807835Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:44:00 +00002009-07-20T19:33:59.646-04:00Information OverloadOn one of the 476 flashing Times Square signs, I saw a call to visit Times Square's official website: timessquarenyc.org.So I took a virtual stroll over there today and:I'm only showing a portion of this site for fear of sending my readers into epileptic shock. I really can't afford to lose any of you.I don't know why I'm surprised that my virtual stroll through timessquarenyc would be ANY http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/07/virtual-insanity.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-4200321705959678049Wed, 15 Jul 2009 21:40:00 +00002009-07-16T16:51:56.322-04:00Unexplained PhenomenaYesterday, I saw:A child perched upon a mailbox, ringing a bell on behalf of the Salvation Army, and screaming at the top of her lungs, "I'm on a boat!"I actually didn't know that the Salvation Army did their whole 'bell' thing outside of the Christmas season.I also didn't know that they had recently taken to breaking child labor laws with a child that is either so dubiously supervised as to be http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/07/what-no-nautical-themed-pashmina.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-1778762696160841934Tue, 14 Jul 2009 16:26:00 +00002009-07-14T13:18:14.498-04:00Local T-ListersOne of the occupational hazards of keeping this blog is that sometimes I get ahead of myself.For example, last month I wrote this post all about how "scary" one pair of DTS Mickey and Minnie looked. Little did I know what awaited me:He. Has. A. Tongue. Tattoo.It took me many, many photoshop zooms to figure out what it said. At first, I thought it said 'I love nuts.' Then I read, 'I love NYC.' Buthttp://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/07/1-argument-for-pocket-mace.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-183671008182915705Mon, 13 Jul 2009 15:04:00 +00002009-07-13T11:53:52.934-04:00Local T-ListersThis blog post hurts me for a number of reasons.One, this was breaking Times Square news last week and I failed to be the one to break it to you. Two, I was chastised by two separate parties for this failure. Three, I actually have to link to the NY Post and cite them with a photo credit.As to the first and second count, I can only plead that I was in my office, working at my obviously http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/07/post-of-shame.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-6891200975809086870Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:30:00 +00002009-07-02T10:39:00.974-04:00Unexplained PhenomenaWardrobe MalfunctionsYesterday, I stepped outside and forgot the Golden Rule of Blogging: Never forget your camera.So, sadly, today I do not have documentation of what I will swear under oath to you that I saw. A woman, leisurely strolling along by herself, wearing an all-lace see-through wedding dress, like so:And, underneath, nothing save:Oh, right, and a veil.As per usual, I only have some hypotheses as to why http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/07/cherry-pie-is-that-you.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-3362977658094215784Tue, 30 Jun 2009 15:14:00 +00002009-06-30T11:33:42.046-04:00Local T-ListersLady Liberty: OMG, Becky. Look at your butt.Jester: You know, I've had just about enough of your lip. It's hard not to have panty lines with this outfit, LL. Okay?LL: Whatever. Do you think that restaurant will notice that I stole their votive candle for my torch?J: Nah, they're all fools. Get it, fools?LL: Hmph. Your jokes are kinda lame.J: Why do you always have to be so jealous?LL: Jealous? http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/06/america-jokes-on-you.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-8930723559111482362Mon, 29 Jun 2009 14:26:00 +00002009-06-29T12:16:20.222-04:00Objects of My DisaffectionRemember this guy?That lovely ode to the culinary arts lives on 45th between Broadway and 6th Ave. But, much like the Mona Lisa in the Louvre, I'm sure he's often plagued by crowds of people just clamoring to have a look at his elusive facial tics.So the artist who created him bowed down to the public's wishes. And on 44th between Broadway and 6th Ave., gave us this:You can tell by the cleaner http://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/06/it-takes-two.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4904248928064858870.post-444593304122479456Fri, 26 Jun 2009 14:11:00 +00002009-06-26T10:34:31.853-04:00This is a humor blog and the purpose of it, for the most part, is to try and put a smile on your faces with all the wacky stuff that goes on in the Tourist Mecca that is Times Square.But last night, I went home in a fog. I didn't even notice the people standing around me in the middle of the square, staring at the news ticker that pronounced Michael Jackson had died. Normally, I try to tell jokeshttp://deartimessquare.blogspot.com/2009/06/mj.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (ST)2