Dear Mom

Ableton Live

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 22:31:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

Ever since living in Boston some 11 years ago, I had this vision for what I wanted to create musically. I have an image and memory about creating a music station where I could live DJ with turntables and interject with piano, percussion, voice and what not. The closest I got to making that vision come true was purchasing a turntable and surrounding myself with digital keyboards. It was cool and I definitely learned a lot but it didn't quite scratch the itch I was going for.

I'm finally making the time to put my vision, now tweaked a bit, into reality. I just turned 30 and am feeling the need to begin manifesting this one-man-looping-band thing into reality.

Lizzie is shooting the video on my iPhone 4 using the 8mm video app from the iTunes app store.

Love you, Baba

2011 reflection

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 14:29:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

This has not been the year of blogging for me. My last post was in June and tomorrow's New Year's Eve. Thinking back now, I wish I would have documented my process a little more than I did. In the same breath though, I don't regret not blogging until now. Sometimes I feel like being more private than others and when I get out of a routine, it's easy to let things slide. Blogging also takes time if you want to do it well and if you read some of my earlier posts, you'll see I didn't quite take the time to read what I wrote.

When Lizzie and I get into a routine, we structure our time like you would a bank account. If we don't do that, our health and life to varying degrees, suffers. The only difference about structuring and measuring time like you would your money is, you only have 24 hours in a day. What do you want to do with those 24 hours? Figuring out what we want to do has been a continuing conversation in our relationship and has evolved over the 6 1/2 years since we've been together. I feel I can honestly say now that we're moving into a new chapter where we know, more or less, how we want to spend our days, where we want to spend our days, what we want to be doing and how that can bring us the funds needed to sustain our lifestyle and art. Given all the different lives and lifestyles, I'm extremely blessed and grateful to have the opportunity to be living this one.

Having a child, settling into a new place, musically directing and producing a children's book and app among other things has kept me busy these last 6 months. I haven't been journalling like I use to now that I have an iPhone and iPad, two devices I am mightily thankful for and use daily along with my laptop. It does, however, always feels good when I make the time to write in my journal.

So with the new year on the near horizon, I reflect on this year and give thanks for all the people I've met and know, all the food I've consumed, all the places I've been, my amazing wife and genius daughter, my supportive family and all the experiences that has helped shaped me into the person I am at this point in time. As the lens of clarity focuses, I look enthusiastically toward the future with a confident gaze and know that I truly do create my reality.

2011 Highlights:

- Moved back to NY from Colorado

- Conceived of and created a children's book and app

- Bought a snow white cat named Tundra to stop the mice from infesting our house

- Musical directed 4 successful dance shows

- Directed a youth orchestra

As for words to guide my new year, 2011's words were MEDITATE and FOCUS, I'm leaning towards HOME and BALANCE for 2012. I'm still not 100% about that but I'm pretty close. Here's to another great year and an even better one in 2012!

Love you, Baba

The Healing Mess

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 01:13:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

I’m so happy to hear your surgery was successful. We we’re thinking about you this morning. Now it’s time for you to rest and recover. Looking forward to seeing you this coming weekend.

This past weekend we went to NYC for Lizzie’s aunt’s memorial service and to see the end of the year show for NDI. It was nice meeting part of Lizzie’s family, be it brief. We drove from the service, which was in Long Island into Manhattan and Louise dipped her toes in the fountain at Columbus Circle for the first time. Big smiles. The NDI show was fantastic. Louise bounced up and down loving the music and dancers fly across the stage.

Before going to the show, we went into a café around the corner where I bumped into yet another person who was just on my mind. John Deek, a bass player with NY Philharmonic who I met and briefly worked with in Vail last summer was finishing a beer with a friend. I thought, that looks like John Deek so I went over and sure enough, it was him.

Sunday we woke, after a little bit of a rough night with miss Louise. She’s teething and waking up crying in pain a few times a night. She’s such a teacher because I’m not a happy camper in the middle of the night, especially if I’m woken up abruptly. It’s a real test to practicing gratitude, really practicing it. Right now I’d have to say I’m not excelling in that area.

It was a beautiful sunny day today. I’m starting to try and be more intentional with my days. It’s quite the challenge given the circumstances of having all our stuff spread out in boxes, the house being almost done, having no internet, making sure Louise is happy and making sure our business, home, physical and spiritual life is in balance. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful in the least. I’ve chosen this and am generally really happy doing all the things I’m doing. I find myself giving thanks more often throughout the day, especially when things get a little tough.

So here’s how today pretty much unfolded. I woke up around 7:00am, slowly made my way over to our friends to grab some coffee, breakfast and internet and wrote back all the people who backed our Thank You For Giving Us… campaign over the weekend. Then we went back to the house and had a photo shoot for one of the spreads that ended up making us all laugh. Louise’s new babysitter showed up at 9:00am and Lizzie helped her get adjusted as I worked on editing the images and writing a letter to Angela Lansbury. We then checked in and continued working on the book and getting things checked off of our list. Hilly made a yummy lunch and salad that I gobbled down and then at 1:45pm I left to run some errands in Hudson. I ended up running a few more errands than I really needed to and made it back around 5:45pm. I went for a mile run, picked some lettuce from the green garden Hilly planted, made a salad for Lizzie, ate dinner, wrote an app developer, checked e-mails and put Louise to sleep. Now I’m sitting downstairs in our new abode, writing to you.

I’ll finish off my day by, scrubbing the bathtub, checking in with Lizzie, reading and finally meditating before heading to bed somewhere around 11:00 I’m guessing.

Wow! It felt really good to recap my day. Lately they just seem to fly by. I would say we’re doing pretty well, given the circumstances, staying on task and accomplishing our goals. In recapping my day, I’m realizing more and more how important it is, especially now, to stay on task. I do have a tendency to try and think I can do more than I really can. I feel that having everything all over the place adds to that because I’m longing for order. Give it some time and order will return, like knowing where things are and being able to find something like a fork, glass, curtain or CD.

Love the mess.

Love you,
Baba

Groundlessness

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 23:55:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

I've been trying to get up earlier lately, in the 5 o'clock hour. That is something that comes naturally to me only when I'm jet-lagged. Honestly, I think I might just be a night owl that has morning bird envy.

It's definitely a challenge trying to balance life right now living out of suitcases, having our stuff split into boxes in two different places, raising Louise and launching/ producing our new creative campaign Thank You For Giving Us... 12 hours a day, but I truly feel so charged, excited and thankful. I wouldn't change the way things are for anything in the world.

I've been meditating the past four nights and it feels great to be doing it again. I'm a novice but finding five minutes to quiet my mind and give thanks for the day, my blessings and all my future helps give me a positive sense of closure for the day. I use a couple of great Apps to help me with this. The first is called, "Meditation" and I use it as a silent timer that marks the end of my meditation time with a single ring of the singing bowl. The second is called, "Streaks" which I use to mark whether or not I meditated that day.

Along with doing everything else, for the past two days, Lizzie and I have been storyboarding the book and I've been storyboarding the App for our Thank You For Giving Us... multimedia project. It was exciting conceiving of how the App will function, especially the Thank You Game. More details on that soon... Here's some of my work from today:

Thanks again for backing the campaign. It means so much to us. Safe travels to Pennsylvania. We're looking so forward to see you soon!

Love you, Baba

This Abundant Life letter

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 18:51:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

Thank you so much for your and dad's pledge for backing our Kickstarter campaign! We can't tell you how much it means to us.

This is going to be brief right now but we needed a place to post a letter we wrote our "This Abundant Life" friends on Facebook and our letter is a bit too long to put as a "status" update. I think you're on the "TAL" e-mail list as well so you probably received this in your e-mail. So, here it is...

Dear This Abundant Life family,

We are truly sorry for not being in touch sooner. Please know that we continue to be deeply grateful for you and that we miss meeting with you every week, especially the "bundance" and the "thank you's" part. We hope you'll forgive our lapse in communication. Those of you who have been staying in touch through our website, Lizzie's blog and facebook might know that we've been very busy raising Louise, moving across country twice and starting our new company, www.campnowproductions.com.

Still, sharing songs, stories, videos and thank you's really helped us live more balanced lives during the time we were producing the show and we hope to bring "This Abundant Life" back into the world in a new form by 2013. Please check out our vision and join us in recreating the show over the next few years. We welcome your collaboration, just write us at contact@lizzieandbaba.com. We are now, more than ever, committed to working with you to help us all feel the abundance of our lives.

In the meantime, here is how you can help us create the first successful Camp Now Production and we believe, with the success of this project, our new and improved multimedia and interactive webcast show concept called "Camp Now" will follow.

Answers to your possible questions about "This Abundant Life":

What ever happened to this Abundant Life?

"This Abundant Life" had 48 episodes which ran between Feb of 2008 and May of 2010. It was sponsored by Alchemist Properties and most of the episodes aired from our home in Norfolk, CT.

After moving to Colorado in the Fall of 2010, we found that our house did not have a high enough speed wireless connection to air the show. We also found that we didn't have the time to produce it properly as Baba was the director of two companies and we were learning what it was like to be new parents. We also realized that we were not doing the show justice by trying to produce it all by ourselves. Now that we have a child, we are even more committed to helping ourselves and others live in balance. We're sorry we haven't been more in touch with you about our process. To be honest, this past year has been a whirlwind and we are just catching up with ourselves.

Will "This Abundant Life" ever be on the air again?

We've decided to search out a production team for a new and improved version of "This Abundant Life" which we aim to air in 2013. Right now though, we're focusing all our energy on a different project which was inspired by the "Thank You" portion of "This Abundant Life". The project is called, "Thank You For Giving Us..." and you can read more about it here.

If we're successful in producing "The Thank You For Giving Us... multimedia project", we will be able to produce the new and improved version of This Abundant Life in 2012-2013.

What can I do to help us create the next, more consistent and professional, incarnation of "This Abundant Life"?

To help us create the next phase of "This Abundant Life", you can start by backing "The Thank You For Giving Us... multimedia project" today. Even $1 makes a huge difference. We consider you our friends and family and our goal is to finance the first 25% of this campaign ($7,500.00) through our inner most circle by this Friday night, June 17th.

When you back this project, please also send us a message telling us what your favorite part of "This Abundant Life" was. If you also make sure to include your snail mail address, we'll send you a signed limited edition CD from our archives.

CREATING REALITY TIP

Whenever we get frustrated, either as individuals or as a family, gratitude helps bring us into the present moment. Saying and singing "Thank You" helps calm us down and celebrate life, especially when the waters of life get rocky.

Action: The next time you experience these feelings, try giving thanks for something, really give thanks for it and let us know what happens @ www.facebook.com/thankyouforgivingus.

In gratitude,
Lizzie & Baba

Love you so much, mom. Can't wait to see you soon and our new home. Louise is getting bigger and bigger and misses her grandma.

Baba

Apps and Gin

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Thu, 19 May 2011 04:45:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

Once again I find myself up late at night. I head downstairs in our Colorado home to the fridge where an almost empty bottle of Tanqueray sits in the back of our freezer. It's the same bottle I bought with James when we first arrived last August. I pour myself a little glass, I guess you could call it an extra extra dry martini, and head upstairs to write.

I hear Louise crying downstairs and tell my half asleep Lizzie I'll take care of her. The little girl is crying, trying to get up in her crib. I gently pick her up and hold her close to my chest, kissing her thin blond bald head reassuring her in a soft voice that everything is ok. I make a bottle and she sucks a couple of ounces down before heading back to sleep. What an angel this girl is. It truly is such an incredible feeling to hold this being that I helped create in my arms and watch her sleepily stare at the shadows and listen to the quiet white night noises that bounce around our house.

I find it tricky to publicly talk about my feelings towards her. I guess I find it tricky in general to publicly describe beliefs, thoughts and ideas. With Louise, the "trickiness" I feel stems from a fear of being a parent who says things like, "Look at my amazing little girl." A fear of describing a real emotion in the written word without it coming off sounding pretentious. I'm quicker and more comfortable to find something that has a lightness to it that would bring about a laugh. I don't however, think I need to worry about this too much having being raised by you and dad.

I just finished an inspiring book in one sitting about how to conceive of, create, develop and market an app successfully on the app store. What I liked about the book was how it felt like I or anyone could do it. The woman who wrote it, Carla White, had a realness to her that was inviting and inspiring. I found the book while browsing the app store with the keyword, "gratitude." Though the book was 150 pages, it flew by in no time.

I've always wanted to be a morning person, waking up refreshed, charged and ready to take on the day. I'm only ever like how I envision an inspired morning person to be after being jet lagged. The first couple of days are amazing until the reality of the time shift sinks in. It's the nights I'm always drawn to. The blanket of blackness, the quiet, the freedom to explore without interruption (mind the occasional night cry, at least at this point in my life). I suppose that same freedom comes to the morning riser as well.

In my previous blog I said I'd briefly touch on the last few months about life in Colorado. Let's begin at the new year, January 1st, 2011. I downloaded a couple new apps for my iPhone that inspired me for the new year. Streaks, an app where you create a calendar of something you want to be consistent with, ie, writing, exercise, etc. and check off each day in the month you do that thing. MealBoard, an app that helps you plan meals and make grocery lists. The Streaks app I used pretty religiously for the first few months and still use it, though not as consistently as the beginning of the year. My Streaks were Spanish, Writing, Exercise and Meditation. The MealBoard app I used for the first few weeks but it took too much time to plug in the info and understand how to use it efficiently enough. Now I sound like I'm leaving an app review.

Anyways, I am a tech geek I'm proud to say. Not a total geek, I just like gadgets, especially ones that have apples on them and things that help me focus and be more efficient. As I told Lizzie, "would you rather me be into sports cars and tools?" I use everything I get, as I guess someone who's into cars and tools do. The main difference is, mine are a bit more mobile and easy to travel with. It's a good thing too considering how much we've been moving around the past half decade.

Well, that's my little snipit for now of the past few months. I'm starting to fade and I told Lizzie I'd be up at 6:00am. The wake time is looking more and more like 7:00am the longer I type.

Love you, Baba

Wrapping Up

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Mon, 16 May 2011 03:56:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

It's 10:03 according to the clock on my computer. We're down to 15 days before we're leaving this little mountain town of Eagle nestled in the Vail Valley and heading back east. I'm still trying to organize and get you all the Louise photos you so patiently asked for I don't know how many months ago. I think you asked me a little after the time your house was broken into and your computer was stolen. I'm thankful that was the worst thing that happened.

My computer's humming away, the fan just kicked into high gear as my phone rests on Lizzie's grand father's desk, connected to the USB drive as it imports over 1,700 photos. After the impost, I'll have to have to sift through the photos and drag them to the "Louise" folder I created. I've given myself a time limit tonight however so I doubt I'll be sifting this evening. I'd like to be to bed by 11:00 and still have to meditate before heading off into dream land. It'd be nice to have a little time to read my book but tomorrow's another busy day, waking at 6:00am to continue packing the house, checking things off the list and getting ready for our trip back east.

This is going to be one of our last major moves, as far as geographical locations goes. We'll always have the nomadic spirit and continue traveling singing songs, playing music, reading stories and what not across these United States and beyond but after moving a full 3 bedroom house from New York to Missouri, to Connecticut, to Colorado and then back to New York, within the span of 6 years, we're ready to settle and grow some roots. Having the little one definitely helps in making that decision feel even more pressing.

My phone is almost finished importing and my computer sounds like it wants to turn off for a bit. Before I go, I'd like to add that I wished I would have blogged more while working as Musical Director for Celebrate the Beat and Director of First Notes. It would have been nice but given the time it took to manage those two jobs, as well as being a new father, I had little time for anything else. I did write in my journal periodically however which felt really good to step away from my electronic devices once and awhile. I'm thankful I had this opportunity to be here in Colorado and learned valuable lessons in working with adults, children, public schools, foundations, organization, money and more.

Now that I've finished with my two positions here in Colorado, I feel I can recommit to blogging at a more consistent basis again. I'm not sure as to the degree of consistency because we're getting ready to launch our new creative project and we're in the process of moving across country. It does feel really good to sit here, glassy eyed, typing in the late night again. We have some big adventures and plans coming up that I definitely want to document. I think before things start really rolling, I'd like the next few blogs to be a retrospective of periods throughout my year.

My cute wife just got out of bed because her mind is thinking about a lot of things. Louise feels a bit warm and is sleeping in our bed tonight. I like when she sleeps in the bed though sometimes don't because my sleeping real estate is diminished which may cause periods of tossing and turning.

Love you, Baba

Open Letter to Scott Walker

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sat, 19 Feb 2011 00:26:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

This is the open letter I wrote to Scott Walker.

Dear Governor Walker,

I have never written to a political figure but your actions have driven me to do so. I am disgusted with your supposed solution in trying to close the budget gap in Wisconsin. Your machete approach to slashing unions and teachers will harm one of the most fundamental part of our society. It will not just effect the tens of thousands of teachers but the future of our state and society. If one teacher has on average 25 children in a class room, and your decision has a negative effect on 40 thousand teachers, the yearly exponential effect will be multiplied at least 25 times that, that's 1 million kinder and or first graders, aka the future of our society.

These people you regard as a number to balance are the same people who have directly helped you rise to where you are today, the teachers of the public school system. For me, this is not just a political state and national issue but a personal issue. My mother was one of your teachers and now, because of your agenda, could possibly lose her job after dedicating 28 years of her life working in the Wisconsin public school system. She still has at least 5 years until retirement and because of your callous regard to the backbone of what makes Wisconsin and our country great, the public school system, now it faces an axe that will cut far deeper than the 3.5 billion dollars it hopes to slice.

Your strategy has little thought to the repercussions it will have on the future and youth of this state. Oddly though, it comes as no surprise to me given the grim foreshadowing that over the past few years, the district you and myself grew up in has become the worst in Walworth County and one of the worst in Wisconsin. I hope, though fear this is a sign as to the direction the rest of the state will be heading given your agenda. If your eyes actually read this letter, I hope they make you take a second look, open your mind and look deeper and harder at the levels, complexities and other possible solutions to this problem than you and the conservative legislature have appeared to look. I realize we as a state and country face tough economic choices but cutting our rights and the peoples who help us learn we have them is unjust, unwise and un-American.

We shall overcome!

Love you, Baba

3 Month Retrospective

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 15:11:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

It has been about three months since my last post and what a three months it has been. Lizzie started a new blog called Dear, Louise... which I know you and a bunch of other people have been enjoying. Lizzie and Louise travelled to Wisconsin, New York and back, I traveled to Crested Butte and worked, worked, worked. To bring you up to date from what's transpired since my last post I'll do a brief retrospective of October, November and December.

October:

The second month of our new life in the mountains. I remember the month starting off well, though challenging. My two new jobs seemed to be demanding more of my time than I had expected which started leaving me feeling exhausted by the evenings and weekends. We found a wonderful couple of hikes in Glenwood Canyon, a stunning drive some 15 minutes down I70 which helped give some space and reflection on our new life. We had some wonderful creating reality sessions and Louise learned how to nap in the "happy sack".

Being the director of First Notes, the youth orchestra program was both challenging and rewarding. I worked a lot of extra hours in September and some in October to help get the program off the ground and I found that on a couple of occasions, drama from the work place followed me home and took up my time on nights and weekends. In the meantime, Lizzie started having difficulty sleeping and it was really starting to affect her.

We decided last minute that it would be best for her and Louise to take a week long trip to visit you and dad in Wisconsin which proved to be an amazing time for everyone involved. I continued to work, letting my art and music fade into the distance, not giving it the respect and focus I had once done. The programs continued to grow and I arranged Thriller for the youth orchestra to perform for Halloween.

November:

Lizzie and Louise returned for two days, one was Halloween and we got to dress little Louise in a cute little pumpkin outfit. Lizzie still wasn't feeling completely herself and we decided that it would be best if her and Louise visit our dear friends Cam, Hilly and Shante and Lizzie's family in New York while I continued to work here and then for two weeks in Crested Butte.

Crested Butte was fun and also a lot of work. I had to compile the music and help write a show about Motown in less then two weeks with Tracy and Colleen. For the most part, the show ended up coming together really well. I sang a bunch of Motown hits including the version of Respect by Aretha Franklin in falsetto. After the show was over I drove to Paonia through the beautiful Rocky Mountains and the Black Canyon of the Gunnison to see Dan's straw bail house that he finished less than a year ago. The next day I drove to Eagle to drop off all the gear at our house and then drive to Denver to pick up Lizzie and Louise. It felt so amazing to see them again. I missed them so.

We shared Thanksgiving together, just the three of us and enjoyed our time to create and settle back into our life. We had decided through the month that Colorado and the life we were living since moving there was not the life we wanted to continue to live. We had thought that having financial security, especially after having a little one was more important than our art, happiness and bliss. Though we were wrong in that decision, we needed to make it and are so thankful for all the lessons it has taught us. We look forward to returning back east to be with our friends and family.

December:

We spent all of December together which was so nice and needed. Lizzie continued getting her sleep back and Louise continued to grow and explore life. I continued to work my job, getting ready for a holiday performance for First Notes and playing 16 classes a week for Celebrate the Beat. We were so thankful when the holiday break came.

I ended up telling the two companies about our decision to move back east come the end of the school year which for the most part, everyone understood. I felt a weight lift from my shoulders after letting everyone know. Since I've known that we're going to move back east, I have been less present in my work and in some aspects, a little jaded. I don't want to live my life with this attitude in any capacity, especially since this work is doing such good for so many. I've come to realize that I enjoy doing this work on a short term basis. So, for the rest of my time here, I want to do my absolute best and enjoy the time I have here, lifting everyone up.

It was so nice having you, dad and Mike here for the holidays. It was such a blast and of course, goes by way too fast. I do hope we can find a way to see each other more frequently. I think that Lizzie and I being our own bosses again will help make that easier to do. Highlights and memories from our time together include playing charades, reading A Night Before Christmas around the dinner table to Louise, hanging ornaments, building the gingerbread house (which Mike mostly did), making sugar cookies, eating a delicious Christmas dinner (sans cranberry sauce), warm walks (no snow), going to the hot springs and chopping wood with Mike. Next year, who knows where we'll be, as long as we're together.

January:

A new year. Wow, how time seems to move faster the older I get. My two words for this year are Meditate and Focus. Meditate has been one of my words for the past three years.

Louise sits on the floor in our Colorado home on a blanket Patti and Michael gave us for our baby shower. She just got over her first fever and is eating and back to herself again. She does not like being on her belly though as she kicks her legs making noises with her mouth while holding a wooden rattle in her right hand. Lizzie sits at the antique desk Heidi gave us for our wedding, working on her blog by the fire.

This holiday break has been much needed. Lizzie and I have focused our intentions and have a plan for moving back east and more importantly our art. I know you know the details from our walks and talks so I'm not going to go into details here but Lizzie and I both feel completely in our element, sharing our days together, creating and playing with Louise. This is how we've lived our life up until our move to Colorado and this is what our bliss is. I'm so thankful for this time here in Colorado and all the lessons it has taught and is teaching us.

Love you, Baba

Drama or Peace

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 02:14:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

The majestic sound of the L.A. Philharmonic, playing The Thieving Magpie by Rossini streaming live at Disney Hall on NPR fills my laptop speakers. It's the opening concert for their season and is being conducted by the Great Gustavo Dudamel. I move between listening and typing thoughts.

Last week proved to be quite a week. I was challenged by a bit of drama with my work and found it difficult to separate it from my personal life. Without getting into the details about, Lizzie reminded me to listen to A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle while I commuted between school and home instead of NPR which I usually turn to. By Wednesday I finally took her advice after reaching a frustrating climax with it all during lunch. The negativity inside me felt like foggy molasses. It made my chest feel heavy and made me wonder why the hell I was doing any of this in the first place and how everything got to this point in such a short amount of time.

So when I got back in the car to drive the 21 minutes to school, I plugged in my iPhone and turned on A New Earth. I had tried listening to him a week back but my mind was so consumed with thoughts that I wasn't actually listening to his peaceful calming voice. The chatter of mental noise was too loud to penetrate. This time was different. I listened to his wise words fill the dark brown wagon cruising at 76mph down I70. In short, he reminded me that it's not the true me that is being bothered or is involved with this situation and creating this feeling of negativity. It was my ego. When I remembered this I felt the weight lift from my chest and a higher sense of awareness around me. I noticed the clay and colorful mountains pass my windshield and felt calm.

That morning when setting up for orchestra I felt a pain in my lower back. I'm fortunate to never really have back pain but noticed it this morning when setting the chairs on the ground for the kids. I felt this pain was directly related to the drama my ego was experiencing and telling myself in so many words that "this sucks", holding on to the negative energy and feeling wronged by the place I was at. After doing a little yoga the past couple of days and resolving the situation to just being at peace with what is and leaving it at that, the pain subsided.

I'm happy you received our card we sent with a copy of A New Earth the other day. I just heard Louise grunt and cry on the monitor.... I go in to watch her make little sounds that are a cross between a cough, a grunt and almost a cry, keeping her eyes shut while her lightly haired head moves back and forth. I don't touch her, just watch, wondering if she's having a bad dream. After a minute her head rests and mouth shuts as she dozes back to sleep. What an angel. She's wrapped in the pink bamboo swaddle you gave her.

I do wish we lived closer to each other so you and dad could see your little grand daughter more. Thank you for Skype so we can at least see each other. I don't think Louise knows quite what to make of Skype. I wonder if there are any studies about how kids react to faces on a screen that's directly communicating with them rather than in person. It might be interesting to see how Louise reacts to seeing Lizzie on the other end of Skype. Hmmm... Technology.

Well, I'm going to sign off now. I have some Spanish to practice and I don't want to stay up too late.

Love you, Baba

Being Employed

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 03:52:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

I finally cleaned up all the spam comments from my blog. It feels much cleaner. Now I just need to get around to clean the house.

Tomorrow I begin my third week working full time as the Musical Director of Celebrate the Beat, the dance company and Director of First Notes, the youth orchestra program. These past two weeks have flown by but at the same time seem to have lasted so long. I'm still adjusting to working full time again and have felt through the course of these two weeks a range of emotions ranging from exhaustion to excitement, overwhelmed to overjoyed. I'm so thankful for this opportunity and to be able to provide for my young family but it is a definite shock to the system after being self employed for the past five years.

This frabjous weekend was so needed and was filled with long hikes, delicious meals and well shared time with my two beautiful girls. Louise was a little pissed at me on Friday. I think she was wondering where the hell I've been the past week. On some of the days I'd only see her awake for a few minutes, something I do not want to make a habit of. It's incredible how my heart bursts open seeing, hearing and being around her. I'm so thankful Lizzie is taking such great care of her and finding a schedule that works for them both. I'm also inspired by Lizzie's new blog and that she's getting back into writing again. Louise is definitely a full time job and I'm thankful Lizzie is finding time to write again. She has such a unique voice that needs to continue to be shared with the world.

We sat down last week and devised a schedule of how our days look. Then I got a nasty cold and abandoned the getting up early and going to sleep later part of the schedule for the sake of health and much needed sleep. I still have lingering mucus in my nose but am almost 100% back to full health, and allergy free!

First Notes has definitely been more work than I anticipated. There are a lot of logistics that have not been covered and I'm starting to get a handle on how to get them addressed. Last week I taught 50+ third graders with classical instruments in their hands by myself for 15 minutes to be joined by Jake, the music teacher at Avon for the last hour. I was not as prepared as I wanted to be, which the kids could feel but there's only so much I could do in the week and a half that I'd been there. Instruments are broken, some kids don't have instruments, don't have seats, name tags, folders, music, permission slips, rental money, some just started playing a new instrument, some don't want to be there, some want to screw around, some have more questions, the same questions, some need to go to the bathroom, some are honking on their instruments... and on and on... This was my reality last Wednesday with a nasty cold and almost no voice. I learned some valuable lessons:

1. Always let 2nd graders go to the bathroom if they ask you.
2. Know what you're going to do before class starts.
3. Be prepared, which is basically number 2 again.

So, this weekend I orchestrated two pieces that I'm excited about and I know the kids will be excited about. I orchestrated Michael Jackson's Thriller and Ludwig von Beethoven's Ode to Joy. The kids will totally be siked about Thriller because ever since MJ's passing, kids have been on a MJ fix. It'll be great to learn for our Halloween concert as well. It may be a bit too ambitious though which I'll find out soon enough on Tuesday but I think that giving them something they'll be really stoked to play will make them work and focus that much harder. I'll let you know how it goes.

Celebrate the Beat has been great as well. I play around 15 classes a week, Monday - Friday and get to rock whatever I want at the piano. Sometimes I really get in a groove but I've noticed that I get stuck and can't think of tunes. I basically am a DJ behind the piano and play whatever I want as long as it fits with the dancing and movement. It helps to have names of tunes, a list, something I do have and need to continue to expand. Put it on the list of things to do.

All in all I'm incredibly thankful for all my blessings and gifts. I try to cherish each moment, even the difficult ones. I do have a sensitivity towards things though which I let effect me more than I should let them. It helps to remember my own advice, "Life is too short to worry about the things you have no control over." If I can do something about it, I'll do it, if not, there's no use in worrying about it. Lizzie, Louise and I went to a concert at Infinity Hall before we left Norfolk to hear this amazing group, The Wailyn Jenny's, one of the members was a friend I went to school with. In-be-tween songs one of the other singers told a story about a woman she met who said, "worrying is like praying for things you don't want to happen." When I remember that, I'm good to go.

Love you, Baba

Multitasking

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sat, 11 Sep 2010 05:40:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

I've become somewhat accustomed to this multitasking world we live in, dancing in it's allure sometimes with shades of danger, a soupcon of each moment's whole. Different levels of focus apply when needed though because of multitasking's inherent nature, usually are not as keenly aware in the multiple situations at hand. It may cause one to think, what's lost because of this and what is gained? For every loss has its gain and the same to it's opposite.

What I lose are shades of depth to the subject in the moment in which I'm in. It may lead to mis-communication, excitement or accidents among other things. What I gain is time in which it takes to complete a number of tasks. I'd compare it to that of a drummer who layers poly-rhythmic beats with his hands and feet creating a sound scape of colors and grooves. A multi-tasking groove. I can however totally get out of groove in the land of multitasking. Many factors come in to play tossing a faaddooodop here or a kallamsham bam there. It's like trying to ride the wave of what's to come, you have an idea of what's going to happen but you never know, the unexpected always has a seat at the table.

As for this point in my life, I feel the need to efficient my time using tools that so readily available themselves to me. Technology being a big one helps me clearly communicate and organize my time between others and myself. This cannot be the one and only though or my spirit will let me hear it and boy does it. In a word, balance. Balance of mind, body and spirit. If you were to think of them as a wheel and chart where time and energy is spent towards each, I more often than not have a lopsided wheel. It doesn't mean I'm not happy but I do find it to be a revealing barometer in measuring life and where it's spent.

There are so many aspects to living that it can be so easy to get wrapped up in one or two specifics. Getting wrapped up however in intense focus can create incredible results. Any focused amount of time on one thing should cause it to excel and reach new depths. Thus far, piano and music have done that for me to certain degrees. I've scene that however in the extremes where so much focus on one thing creates such a loss to the abundance life has to offer. For every loss there's a gain.

I hear the little girl waking up on the monitor sitting on my desk. I love her.

Love you, Baba

Whirlwind chimes

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 04:41:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

The past few months have been somewhat of a whirlwind filled with bright colors, emotions and movement. From the birth of our little angel Louise on 6.9.10, to my residency in West Hartford at Saint Joes, to another residency in Vail while simultaneously leading a teacher training for First Notes, to visiting family in Long Island while slowly packing our beautiful blue house on Westside, to loading the 24' Budget truck with loving friends over pizza and boxes, to driving with James in three days across country pulling our dark brown Volvo and physical attachments topped off with a cord and a half of wood split by Bob. My nose along with the rest of my body, mind and spirit are adjusting to the high country which lies nestled in the old ranching town of Eagle. Mothers and babies seem to be around every corner when you walk around town which totes a Broadway as well as Wall Street, neither of which compare in size to the names they share in that bustling metropolis on the east coast. The mountains however completely surround the town which reach higher than any NYC point.

The sun has never ceased to shine since arriving and the clouds have yet to rain. We're getting settled each day more and more into our new home and life. This past weekend, Jacques visited which was a treat for everyone who attended the workshop/ event at the Ford Amphitheater. I'm thankful he got to bless our little girl with his presence.

I'm so thankful for this opportunity to be here being the Musical Director for Celebrate the Beat and Director of First Notes. I love what I do which means I'm rarely ever working, or laboring.

In another thought, it's really incredible being a father. There are so many layers to it and if I were to choose a word to sum it up, love. Love for this little being, for her smile, her cries (though they sometimes bring challenging moments) for her eyes and curiosity, for my wife, for her strength and for the time we all share together. Sometimes it hits me more than others, I'm a father. It feels natural, like this is the way it's supposed to be. And then I start thinking about how this little being is a little girl, who will someday grow into a woman. I would definitely have to say that having a child is the biggest trip I've had thus far, and the best.

Love you, Baba

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 13:21:00 +0000

The Kansas Plains

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 13:17:00 +0000

Dear, Mom

We're on our third day of driving, James and myself. Last night we stayed at a Super 8 in Topeka and started back out on the road at 7 this morning. It's been great driving weather for the most part. We hit our first storm entering Columbia, MO and it passed shortly after leaving. While we were driving through Kansas City the sky opened up to the point where all lanes of traffic actually stopped because you couldn't see anything.

I took a little video of that which I'll post later with sheets of rain and bursts of lightening. The most brilliant part was when we made it through KC, the western sky was this incredible color and shape of blues, crimsons, grays and yellows. We have clear blue skies and bumpy rolling roads ahead of us now.

We are definitely ahead of schedule. I had scheduled for us to make it to Columbus, OH the first night, which we did after a 16 hour day of driving. FYI, Pennsylvania has a lot of road construction which is a good thing, though not if you want to drive anywhere, because thus far, they have the shittiest roads out of any of the states we've driven through.

James drove the first leg covering CT, NY and PA. I drove half of Ohio. The next day, James drove the other half of OH, IN and part of IL. I drove the rest of IL and MO before landing in Topeka last night after being in the rig for 15 and a half hours. James likes the early driving while I do the later or night driving. We should make it into Eagle sometime this evening before dusk if all goes well.

Thanks for your texts. I'll call soon and add more pictures when I'm not in the truck.

Love you, Baba

Sent from my iPhone

Birthday quickie

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 04:46:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

This month has been a challenge to write. It's Lizzie's birthday and I just had my show at St. Joes. It's my sixth year doing this residency and this year's theme was Storytelling from Around the World. I took it upon myself to write a lot of original music which I felt came together very well in the end. Nick Halley and Mike Gamble joined me in the band which was a treat to play and work with them again. I'm so thankful for all my gifts and blessings.

I love my wife and baby Louise so much. It's time for bed.

Love you, Baba

Precious light

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 03:58:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

Wrapped up in personality rounds the corners of little Louise sleeping buddhalike donning pink and brown polka-dots, swallowed aqua turquoise bambo bridges with breezes cooling the summer night. Her smell and innocence lie nestled tight, while dear Lizzie tries to regain rest whose time has been dedicated graciously, persistently and emphatically to the life source breast.

Heavy sets my eyes with beauty strapped to my chest, my daughter with eye lids closed breathes her soft feather breath. The quiet country road calms each path breached from a rest, as my ears whirl with the sound of Fred Hersch's latest quest. My mind drifts in and out of the music and thought processes that produce the words I confess. A round silver clock ticks a consistent now above a little girl looking curiously towards the sky wearing a pink and white dress.

You and dad are fast asleep after a 13 + hour I90 drive east in the upstate New York town whose claim to fame is being the home of Lucile Ball. Driving to meet your first grandchild in what now is a short while. More I would write, if more tire took flight, so smiling tired and inspired I bid thee good night. A proud father grateful for the gift of this precious light.

Love you, Baba

Poem for Louise

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Mon, 07 Jun 2010 15:40:00 +0000

One day past the date she's due
patiently waiting for baby Lu
the time she comes, never be late
for the day she's born is her destined fate

for no one can tell
the time she arrives
all wishes well
the now time deprives

so until that blessed day unfold
let each moment's grace be told
through every bird and every toad
along this holy holy road

The Cosmos of Creation

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Tue, 25 May 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

It's a beautiful bright sunny late May morning as I sit down to blog and wait for my coffee to percolate on the stove. There's a feeling I have now that I can only relate to the excitement of Christmas eve; the anticipation of baby Louise arriving out of her momma's belly. The major difference is that this Christmas morning will come whenever Louise and the cosmos feel it right to.

We finally feel like we're ready, or as ready as we're going to be. We have our birth plan printed, check list for me, hospital and baby bag packed and ready, nursery all prepared, car seat in, visualizations practiced and various other little things. I'm told that birth is like running a marathon, something I also have never experienced. It makes sense that by having all these things in place and ready is the best way to be prepared for this coming 'marathon'.

I'm excited about the very real and very soon prospect of being a father. It's starting to sink in a little more, especially since we've been preparing since I returned from my two week residency in NYC last week. Oh... a couple thoughts on that.

I did a two week residency in Manhattan at PS 41, The Greenwich Village School with NDI. The theme was "Horton Hears a Who", the Dr. Seuss book. The most famous line from the story, towards the end is, "a person is a person, no matter how small" which was repeated in unison by all the third graders and Tracy. The children we're fantastic and really enjoyed the whole experience. I chose most the music and both played and sang for the performance last Friday. It was a smashing success with five third grade classes dancing together and as individual classes. The show was all of twenty minutes and always just blows by. I received a bunch of complements from parents and teachers about the music which always feels good and the principal came up to me after to ask me if I'd be interested in doing free lance work with them. That reminds me, I need to e-mail her after I finish this post.

I also met with my former teacher Fred Hersch for coffee and tea at a little French restaurant on twelfth street Monday after classes. I had recently reconnected with him after reading an incredible article that dad told me about in the NY Times. He's been living HIV positive for almost twenty years and a couple years ago he went through an incredibly traumatic experience where he suffered from extreme paranoia, AIDS related dementia and was in a coma for a few months. He told me the whole story first hand over his half eaten croissant and as I sipped a latte. It was truly remarkable how he's come out the other side, stronger than he's felt in years. He's going to be working on composing a mutli-media piece about the dreams he had during that period that CBS is interested in helping produce. He told me it should be done in about a year. Fred never quits nor stops. What an inspiration!

When I returned home, he sent a double disc CD set of solo piano bedtime music he made for his niece and nephew when they were born. He also sent me other CD's he's made with various projects and ensembles that Lizzie and I have just started listening to. I feel so fortunate to reconnect with him.

So, back to about almost being a father. Given that I've been blogging basically once a month for the past few months, this will more likely than not be my last blog before Louise is born. I've been thinking about some of the things that I've been doing lately in those terms, this is the last time I'm going to be... this or that without a child. I've also been zooming out and thinking about the cosmos and how enormous the universe is. I visited the planetarium at the Natural History Museum while I was in NYC last week and it reminded me of how incredibly small we are and how vast and incomprehensible to our human minds, space is. Watching a star being born and how a star dies. Watching galaxies form looked a lot like how a baby is created with the sperm meeting an egg.

It seems that we are one level of the magical mystery of life and existence in the universe. It excites me to think about the potential we have as humans to evolve and discover things we can only dream about now. It also reminds me of how short our time on earth is and how we need to seize and live each moment and each day. I spoke with a man who worked at the Natural History Museum as I put my hand on a relatively large meteorite that was on display. I asked him how old it was and the older man replied, "It's pretty young, only 20,000 years old or so." I smiled, thinking how in our life and culture, we think a moment, a day, a month, a year can last forever and how long it can feel. On the other hand, it can feel really short, like the bat of an eye and all of a sudden, you're fifty years old or your back home again.

I realize it's not easy to remember to try and live each day and moment to it's fullest, especially the trying days, the sick days, the loooooong days but I find that thinking about the cosmos and space helps give perspective and, no pun intended, space to our thoughts and daily busy lives. I find the true tests are when you're thrown a curve ball, an accident happens, something breaks, you get yelled at, a driver cuts you off giving you the one finger wave, whatever it may be. These are the moments that having space, or thinking about space helps give perspective to the situation and can help bring presence and a deeper sense of being in the moment.

These are some of the thoughts I've been thinking about the oncoming father hood. Of course there's the zoom zoom in and day to day of dipper changing, burping, sleeping, feeding, providing, walking, loving and everything else that comes with this new life. These are all important and require time, patience and love. Zooming out helps give me perspective on this new life and being human on this earth.

Love you, Baba

Cold late April wind

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Wed, 28 Apr 2010 12:39:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

Eating the last few bites of my breakfast cereal, an Organic Flax plus Pumpkin Raisin Crunch with added Omega 3's on the small wooden round table next to our wood burning stove, I thought, hey, I haven't blogged in a little bit and my last post was pretty short considering all that we went through in March. So as I finish my yummy but incredibly complex breakfast cereal, I think about this point of time I'm living in right now.

The weather is dramatically cold, having dipped a solid 5 or so degrees below freezing last night and expected to do the same tonight. The sun poked it's glorious rays through the clouds this morning but have once again been covered by a gray veil of clouds. I planted kale and lettuce in the ground a few weeks back when it was in the 70's and 80's, excited about the possibility that the warmer weather is here to stay. They don't call this quiet little New England village "The Ice Box" of Connecticut for nothing though. It is nice having the fire burning and we do have enough wood to get us through to the constant warm weather.

Jumping back in time to March, I think of the difficult decision of having to put our beloved Dharma to rest that early Sunday afternoon. It really did feel that it was his time to go, with all his issues from the vestibular disease effecting his balance and center of gravity coupled with his cognitive disorder leaving him disoriented to his his environment. We stayed with him to the very end and we're so blessed to have such great friends around to help him transition. Our friend Patti, a medium came over in the morning and did a blessing on him along with our friend Franny. Mary Ann Fitzgerald, a dear friend of Lizzie's mother's and of Lizzie was visiting from Kenya and we were so thankful for her presence, love and support through his passing. In his last few moments of life, we sang softly to him, petting his soft white coat and letting him know that we love him now and for always. When his heart stopped, I felt a tremendous energy fill the room as we stood heavy hearted in the quiet country animal hospital room, not quite sure how to process what had just happened.

Fast forwarding to now, last month we recorded a song we wrote for him appropriately entitled, "Dharma" and this past weekend made a video in honor of the little guy. (see below)

Our trip to Hawaii was incredible and a much needed healing time from our loss and the long white winter. We fell in love with the tropics and it's lush and fruitful climate. We didn't leave O'ahu and took it easy, swimming in the calm parts of the ocean and sitting on the warm sandy beaches. It rests in my memory of being a peaceful and beautiful time and I look forward to returning again and again.

Since returning from Hawaii, we've basically stayed at home in Connecticut and have traveled to NYC a few times for various things. Lizzie's belly has been growing and little Louise seems to be healthy and preparing for her arrival in the next month or so. We've been taking pictures of Lizzie's belly almost every day for the past few months which I'll eventually be putting together in a time lapse video. We had a baby shower in Norfolk a couple weekends ago which was a lot of fun. Our friend Hilly threw the party with Shante and did such a beautiful and thoughtful job decorating and putting it all together. A highlight from the shower was playing "pin the tail on the donkey" on a vintage game Hilly found. We have another baby shower in NYC tomorrow evening which we're also excited about.

I'm enjoying my time without having a child or consistent job right now and feel so blessed for this time and feel I'm soaking it all in. I've been filling it with practicing Spanish, yoga and piano along with creating reality, life errands, consulting with First Notes in Colorado, reading, learning about the baby and gardening. I am though thoroughly excited to become a father and am looking forward to meeting little Louise.

We've been taking birth classes the past month and I've been reading a few books so I intellectually understand that the baby is coming and I'm going to be a father, but it hasn't hit me yet so I don't really know what to expect and how it will change my life. I like to compare it to when I'm about to travel somewhere, I usually look forward to it but don't really know what to expect. The best thing I can do is to enjoy and be where I'm at while and when I'm there. That's all you can really be anyways. I can't think of any anxieties or fears because any anxieties and fears are thoughts about the future. It's not to say that they do exist for me at times but what helps center me back to the moment is realizing that unless there is something I can do to directly effect that fear or anxiety right now, it doesn't serve me to hold on to it. That being said, it's not that I don't think about the future or talk about the past. Creating reality is a fun past time that Lizzie and I enjoy doing where we think about our future and how we want it to look. Right now we're in the process of imagining what our place will look like in Colorado.

I'm excited for the new download of May. I've finally recorded King Corn, the song I wrote which was inspired by Michael Pollan's The Omnivore's Dilemma. You can download it from our site for the month of May. I'll probably be sending it to you in the next day or so though.

Looking forward for you and dad to come this summer.

Love you, Baba

Marching into April

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:42:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

March was filled with joyous and painful memories. The hardest part was laying our best friend, my best-man (dog) at our wedding down to rest. His spirit I know is still with us but it still takes some getting use to. The house is much quieter without him, that's for sure. The most joyous memories I would have to say was traveling with my beautiful pregnant wife to Hawaii, the most incredible and magical place on earth as far as I've scene thus far. We hope to travel back there often. There's nothing like drinking coconut water straight from the coconut and going swimming in the ocean anytime of year.

My blogs have been about one a month for the past year or so it seems. This one I'm going to keep short and hope to add a longer, more in depth blog in the next couple of weeks about life and all its amazing gifts. I'm also keeping this short because I've just spent the past day pretty much consistently on my computer, updating our website and releasing our new download this month, Dharma. The weather is starting to warm up and spring is in the air. We're looking forward to seeing you and dad soon.

More to come soon....

All my love, Baba

Baby kicks and lots of snow

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sun, 28 Feb 2010 12:40:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

I feel I can now say it is officially winter after being doused in over two feet of snow. The soapstone stove has been burning wood cut from across the street at a constant pace leaving hot orange glowing coals each morning we wake. Since this could be February 29th, grandma's actual birthday I'm considering this post part of February to stay on my at least once a month blog post here. I have been writing poetry the past week on my Myspace blog if you'd like to check that out as well.

Lizzie's belly has been growing and she feels in good health and spirits. I felt the baby kick the day before Valentine's Day and since then, feel her more often. It's such an incredible sensation to feel a little kick or movement inside her belly. At first it kind of freaked me out, I couldn't tell if it was maybe an angry organ, a gas bubble or a baby foot. We're both really excited about the prospects of becoming parents and know it will change our lives in countless ways. Time will only tell to what degree.

I find it interesting receiving advice from parents about becoming one. I get reactions ranging from a loving though overwhelming and know it all, been there done that type of tone that says, you're life is never going to be the same, prepare to lose it, to, a more comforting type of, yes your life is going change but you adapt to the baby and adjust your life accordingly, to, this is the best thing that's going to happen to you. Having no direct experience, there is no way for me to refute or agree with what what people tell me. Therefore I take what people tell me with a grain of salt, enjoy where I am right now and take the being a parent experience when it is dealt to me and draw my experiences then. I do enjoy the more positive outlook from people though and choose to focus on the baby being the best thing that has ever happened to me, rather than, your going to lose your life as you know it attitude.

Here are my feelings as of right now about being a father having no experience, other than with Dharma Dog. Initially I feel it's going to be a joy, a blessing and challenging. I feel our little girl is going to have a very happy, loving, calm and creative home to be raised in. I know I'll have to manage my time even more if I want to continue reaching my creative goals and being a great father. I'm just so excited to raise a human being and know there is so much I don't know about it and so much to learn. I'm excited for this amazing opportunity and pray for a healthy, happy and beautiful little girl to arrive in late May, early June. I think it will be interesting to look back on this blog and my thoughts about having a little girl and see how I feel now and how I feel then relate.

The past few days we've been dealing with parental challenges. Dharma suffered last Saturday from a condition called Vestibular Disease. The disease thankfully in most cases is not permanent. The vestibular system is primarily responsible for keeping the head and body in the correct orientation with respect to gravity. So the past couple of days, he hasn't been able to keep his balance.

When he came back from a walk with his mama and couldn't really walk, I later noticed in the evening that his eye was moving consistently back and forth and he looked as though he were really dizzy. I called a vet and they told me about the condition and told me that most dogs recover close to 100%. Dharma thankfully is a fighter and strong willed so he does seem to be recovering quite well considering. The first night, Lizzie and I slept downstairs with him by the fire. It was a long night but definitely one to remember.

In other news from the past month, our friend Ankur Shah, author, cook, musician, healer and world traveler spent a week with us through the pounding snow storms. He led meditation sessions with us, taught us some new delicious dishes to make and joined me in gathering some sap from the sugar maples as we boiled down maple syrup on our stove as the snow fell and collected. I ended up making a couple Mason Jars full of dark amber grade A maple syrup and it is absolutely delicious! Here's Ankur's website that documents his travels: www.mangolandia.org. I don't know how up to date it is but it gives you a little more of an idea about this beautiful spirit.

The only show we have booked this year thus far was in Brooklyn and we had to cancel it due to excessive amounts of snow in the city and up here. We have a week until we leave for Hawaii for a belated honey moon which we are so excited about. We're both looking forward to being in a warm climate, basking in the sun and sitting in the surf. Another cool thing, besides being on those magical islands is that our friend James is going to be there visiting his daughter while we're there so we get to spend some time together. There will definitely be pictures on my blog after the trip.

Other than that, life is so great and I feel so blessed to be where I am and to have all that I have. The baby's kicking in Lizzie's stomach while she's resting on the brown leather chair by the stove with headphones on her belly playing Beethoven's piano Sonata in C# minor and C minor. There's tiny wisps of blue in the sky but the sky is mainly gray. I'm about to practice some Spanish and piano and continue on with my day.

Love you, Baba

Vail - Madison - Louisville - Morgantown - Norfolk - Santa Fe - Vail - Connecticut

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sat, 23 Jan 2010 16:56:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

There's so much to write about since my last post. I've been meaning to blog the past few nights but I've made learning Spanish I priority in my life since returning from Venezuela and the nights have become the time where I practice. So, I'll try and cover the highlights of life since last December.

We spent most of December in Vail and I began working with and advising First Notes, the El Sistema based program that has a pilot program in the Vail Valley. I also continued working with Celebrate the Beat, finishing off the semester with a holiday show, which is a story within itself, at Red Sandstone Elementary in Vail. Lizzie and I packed our brown station wagon I've named Brown Betty and headed East to spend Christmas with you and the family.

Before leaving the Colorado though we had an appointment in Frisco at the hospital because.... we're having a baby! We found out at the end of September and didn't start telling everyone until a month or so later. And since I finally the baby out of the bag on this blog, we found out yesterday that we're having a little girl! I'm soooo excited and am looking forward to being a daddy, a baba to a little girl.

Back to the time line of our journey ---

After the doctor's visit, which by the way Lizzie has been getting A+ reports, I drove a couple 10 hour days to Madison. About an hour into the western edge of Nebraska we got a flat tire after pulling into a little town across some railroad tracks and in front of steaks & chops bar. I went to let Dharma out and heard a hiss coming from the rear driver's side tire and thought, uh oh! There was a little gas station across a rural quiet four way intersection which I pulled the wagon up to. The people inside we're mighty helpful, letting us use some air to fill up the slowly draining tire and finding us a truck stop that could repair it some 20 miles or so down the free way. I quickly had Lizzie and Dharma get in the car and we boogied to the truck stop where a guy there repaired the tire while Lizzie and I ate a greasy truck stop dinner. It was by far the easiest flat tire I've ever had.

Christmas was so fun getting to spend time with you, dad and Mike. I only wish we lived closer so we could see each other more often but thanks to Skype, we at least get to see each others faces a little more. Highlights from Wisconsin were making Christmas cookies and getting high on frosting, laughs and stories, grandpa and grandma, going for coffee with Dad, grocery shopping with you, seeing Avatar in 3D Imax with Mike, seeing Mike's new house and going to the baby store with you, dad and Lizzie. It was short but always great to see you, dad and Mike.

Our next stop was in Chicago to meet Sue Shanahan, an illustrator who Lizzie has been talking with in working together on a book. We then made it Louisville where we stayed with our friends, the Rosenbergs. We played a show New Year's Eve with The Troubadours and The Sirens at a little funky shot gun style bar in Louisville. It was a blue moon ringing in the New Year and I fortunately did get to see it. Blue Moon was my beverage of choice in honor of the occasion.

The next day we drove to Morgantown, WV where we stayed with our friends Catherine and Jim, who are recently new parents to a beautiful baby girl named Claire. It was great seeing them and they were so kind and generous, giving us not only warm beds to sleep in but books about being parents and other children related things. It was great being able to see what it will be like having a little girl at 3 months. Wow, so much to learn and do.

The next day we drove straight until we ended up in our Connecticut home where we were greeted warmly by Cam, Hilly, Shante, Mike & Devin. We had a delicious meal and the next day unpacked our car and packed up there van in a snow storm which made the process quite dramatic. Three days later I was on a train to NYC to fly out of La Guardia to Santa Fe, NM for a dance conference.

The ANDI (Associates of National Dance Institute) conference in Santa Fe was both inspiring and tiring. There were three long and filled days with workshops and meetings which I learned a lot from. I took my first dance class, which at not being adjusted to the 7,500 feet and it being my first class, kicked my butt.

After the conference I drove with Tracy and Heather, the two women lead teachers of Celebrate the Beat, back to the Vail Valley through the stunning and majestic Rocky Mountains. I spent the next week working with First Notes again which was inspiring and exciting. I turned 28 on January 11th and celebrated by going to a spa where I swam in an out door pool in Beaver Creek. I think that was the first time I swam when it was 10 degrees out. The pool was a comfortable 85 degrees however. I did miss my love who couldn't come with me and was keeping warm by the fire with Dharma in Connecticut with the little baby growing in her belly.

I finally made it home the next Saturday and got a ride from Mike and Devin who picked me up at JFK in Brooklyn. Since returning this time, I haven't left too far from home and am looking forward to being planted for a little bit. Today though we're heading into NYC for a show on Sunday the NDI will be performing.

So that's where we and I have been since my last post. I think my next post will be a little less adventuresome since I don't have any plans to leave in the next month. Life however is quite an adventure and is about to get even more exciting and many other adjectives come June, when our little baby girl is born.

Love you, Baba

CB - Vail - Venezuela - Vail

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sun, 13 Dec 2009 18:05:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

We had a great experience in Crested Butte after being there for three weeks. Out time ended in a show with the third, forth, fifth grades from Crested Butte and a One Room School House from Gunnison dancing together to the music of John Lennon and the Beatles. I sang most of the show and was accompanied by a drummer named Shane from Gunnison. Lizzie also came out, wearing the beautiful black dress with yellow ribbons that you made her singing Imagine. She was joined by a group of children signing and singing along with her leaving not a dry in the packed gymnasium.

Crested Butte is a definitely a destination, you can only drive into it from one main road that leads to Gunnison. When the weather's fair, there are a couple of gravel passes that snake through the mountains which we were fortunate enough to take in and out. After arriving back in Vail, we had the weekend to relax before having to drive to Denver early Monday morning for a doctor's visit. The next day, Tuesday I was going to fly to Venezuela to learn and study the program El Sistema, an amazing social program that originated in Venezuela 34 years ago that gets children in poverty situations to play classical music and get them off the streets. Here's a piece that 60 Minutes did on El Sistema this summer.
Watch CBS News Videos Online

So Tuesday, I left my beautiful wife and Dharma at the Denver International Airport and flew to Miami where I met Tracy, who I was traveling to Venezuela with. I was so excited to be in Venezuela but was sad that I was leaving my wife alone by herself over Thanksgiving.

Tracy and I landed in Caracas around 9:00pm or so. We were escorted by a big Venezuelan man named Antonio Claro in his red Ford Sport Utility vehicle to our hosts house. We had a warm greeting to their beautiful place and eventually fell asleep.

The next three days we visited three different nuclei where they hold after school rehearsals for El Sistema. We drove all over Caracas which is located in a lush tropical valley. The air is so fresh because there's always a breeze blowing in new air from the ocean. The temperature is always between 70 and 85 degrees year round, perfect with little spouts of afternoon rain during the rainy season. The food was all really fresh and delicious. We had fresh papaya juice in the morning with slices of mango, bananas and two different kinds of corn wraps, I can't remember their specific names.

The nuclei all had unique attributes in each of their locations. Most of them were located next to Shanti towns where a lot of if not all the children live. These Shanti towns are built on the sides of mountains, one on top of the other consisting of a metal roof and some walls. We didn't get a chance to go inside any of them because it is not a safe place to be. I didn't get much of a chance to film or take pictures in any of the nuclei's because they have a strict policy about taking pictures of video. I do have pictures etched in my mind though of the halls, smells, rooms, children, music, Spanish and dedication on each of the child's face.

Here's an outline I made of our time observing: http://www.lizzieandbaba.com/el_sistema/pages/2.html

On the weekend Tracy and I flew to an island about a 45 minute plane ride off the mainland of Venezuela called Margarita. Because of the relationship Venezuela and the U.S. has with each other, you don't see too many, if any Americans in Venezuela. I think Tracy and I were the only two Americans on the island at the time. It was a really interesting and some what liberating feeling being that far removed and that much of an outsider. When we told people we were from the States people would give us a kind of strange look and say, "What are you doing here?"

We had a chance to swim in the ocean, watch the pelicans nose dive to catch fish and see another part of Venezuela. In our two days there we met some Europeans who ended up showing us around a little more. This short man in his mid 50's, wore a mustache, walked with a cane, wore a tight bathing suit and went by the name of Giuseppe. He was Italian but lived in Switzerland. Giuseppe had been to the island many times before, spoke English, had a cab driver named Carlos and liked showing tourists around the place, so we were also joined by a couple from Germany and Bavaria. Everyone spoke English so English was the main language spoken. There was also another man in his 60's from Germany that was traveling alone. He smoked Kents and had a beautiful and warm smile. He had quite a sad story. 35 years ago he had lost his wife who was pregnant with their child in a car accident. I don't think he ever got over it so he was content to travel by himself and explore. He spoke 4 or 5 different languages, an incredible skill I'm feeling more and more drawn to expand in myself.

The two days went by in a flash and before we knew it we were on a plane back to Caracas and back to the states. We had a great time together, traveling as brother and sister and experiencing a part of the world we had never scene before. An interesting note about Venezuela, the time difference there is a half hour difference from Eastern Time. Hugo Chavez thought that it would be better to just add an extra half hour to the countries time instead of joining the rest of the world and using daylight savings time. I don't know how sound that thinking is considering children still go to school in the dark, which uses more energy, which from my understanding is the point of daylight savings time.

I was so excited to see Lizzie and Dharma again when I finally landed in Denver after a day of almost 17 hours of travel. We settled again back in Vail and I was at work the next day, playing piano and drums for Celebrate the Beat.

It was just snowing but now the sky is swirling and changing so we may have a bit more before the day is through. Snow is covering the ground now and last week the average temperature seemed to be around 10 degrees or so. Last week Celebrate the Beat had a performance in Vail at the elementary school there. I felt our performance went well, though the rest of the show seemed to me a bit comical like out of a movie. I won't go into details so if you're interested, you can write or ask me.

And now we have a week left before we leave the high country and head to the mid-west where we'll be spending Christmas with you and the family. We're really looking forward to it.

Love you, Baba

Crested Butte, CO

noreply@blogger.com (Baba Buffalo) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 19:41:00 +0000

Dear Mom,

We've been in the little mountain town of Crested Butte, CO now for a little over a week, having arrived shortly after the annual Halloween parade down Elk Street. There are only a couple ways in you can drive to this village the lies tucked between snow capped mountains, resting at an elevation of close to 8,900 feet. It's a magical place where you won't find a chain restaurant or department store and people don't lock their doors because crime is almost nonexistent. Think Norman Rockwell in the mountains.

Celebrate the Beat has been coming here for around six years now on account of some motivated and passionate mothers who wholeheartedly believe in this program. They put us up in this cute little cabin right downtown and close to a good hiking trail. The weather has been stunning, with 60 degree blue sky days and full moon bright starry nights. It's the off season now and the lifts don't open until the end of the month so the town's quiet with friendly locals and ski bums looking for work.

We've had a great start to our three week residency here at the school in town. The public school is K-12 and is a little cramped so they're in the middle of adding on right now. The third grade class alone has close to 60 kids and in a population of a town around 1,500 or so, they make up a descent percentage. The theme for the residency is John Lennon and The Beatles and will be an adaptation of the show we did in West Hartford over the summer. Lizzie is going to be in the show and sing "Imagine" which I'm excited about.

I just finished an incredibly inspiring book called, "The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind". It's a true story about William Kamkwamba, a young African boy in a tiny farming village in Malawi that under crippling circumstances, built a windmill by looking at pictures in a book he found at the library. I cried and felt overjoyed for this young man who overcame adversities such as extreme famine, ridicule and poverty to build, what he called "electric wind" in his backyard. William's description of the hunger he and the people around him went through in 2001 was intensely sobering and made me appreciate even more each bite of food I ate, giving thanks for the opportunity and fortune to eat whatever I want, whenever I want.

This morning we went around the corner to a little two story, shotgun style building where they have yoga classes. Lizzie had a schedule of classes and this morning's class said, "Meditation, 9:00" so we thought we'd check it out. We had a couple eggs and delicious homemade bread right before, making us a couple minutes late and our bellies a little full, but we didn't think it would be a problem since we were going to be meditating. We quietly walked in and joined the class, me in my blue jeans because I don't have a stretchy pair of pants and Lizzie in a new teal and black striped dress. The class started with some breathing led by the instructor and then progressed into a full on yoga class, something we were both surprised about since we thought it was just going to be silent meditation. During the session, as I had my right leg reaching towards the sky and bent, my left leg planted behind me and my hands planted in front of me in some diversion from the downward dog pose, I was thinking about the time I was in Cuzco, Peru with my friend Arie and our confusion at a local restaurant. When the server came over, we asked her if we could see the menu. 10 minutes later there was full plate of food in front of us. Confused, we asked the server why the food when she pointed to the menu in our hands to a dish called, "the menu". It just goes to show that things aren't always what you think they're going to be.

Love you, Baba