Dan Thurmon

Satisfaction

dan — Mon, 25 Jan 2010 15:09:42 +0000

In 1965 The Rolling Stones wrote the hit song (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction, expressing angst and lack of fulfillment. Ironically, “satisfaction” at the time of the song’s recording was likely much higher than it is today.

Earlier this month The Conference Board published findings from its annual report on job satisfaction in the United States, and the results were startling.

On top of double-digit unemployment, it seems that even those who are working are (in record numbers) unhappy, unfilled and downright disinterested in the jobs they have! Here are some highlights:

Only 45% of those surveyed are satisfied with their jobs (down from 61.1% in 1987, the first year the survey was conducted.
Only 51% find their jobs interesting.
More workers are satisfied with their commute (despite the fact that commute times have increased) then they are with their jobs!
22% of those surveyed don’t expect to be in their current job in a year.

This is not an isolated circumstance, but a long term trend that paints a gloomy picture for employers and employees alike. While one in ten individuals who want to work cannot find a job, those who are employed are – across all income levels and age ranges – increasingly unsatisfied with the jobs they have.

Double Jeopardy

The negative effects of this condition, I believe, are two fold. First, as job satisfaction plummets, so does performance, employee engagement, and productivity. During challenging times, this exacerbates corporate struggles and feeds a negative cycle of declining profits, increasing demands on employees, and overall workplace funk.

The second area of concern is the real life experience of the individual employees. Unhappiness and disinterest, experienced over an extended period of time, leads to a compromised life experience and, in many cases, declining health, relationship conflicts, and a suffering of the spirit. Indulgent after hours “escapes” may distract from the problem, but they may also create more serious issues and conflicts.

Who is to Blame?

In my opinion, employees and employers both need to make adjustments in order to combat this downward spiral and create a healthier workplace.

Ultimately, each of us is responsible for our own happiness. The first step to increasing satisfaction (at work or in life) is to accept this responsibility and take ownership of our circumstances, just as they are.

If you are miserable at work, you have two choices:

Change your attitude and orientation towards the job that you have.
Get a different job.

Either way, you will be doing your employer a great service.

The lens through which we view our job (or our life) determines in large part whether we will have a positive or a negative experience. Focus on the aspects of your job that are interesting and fulfilling to you. What is the purpose of the work you are doing? How does it impact others in a positive way? Who are you serving through your efforts? By focusing on others or on your unique contributions, you can shift your approach to your job and discover a more satisfying sense of purpose.

If the gap between what you do and personal satisfaction is unbridgeable, then you may need to look elsewhere for your vocation. Life is too short to commit the largest portion of your waking hours to a task or mission that is distasteful. Look at this as an opportunity to discover what truly matters to you, and develop a plan to shift your efforts into a more satisfying profession.

Employers, in turn, must create an environment where people can more easily “plug in,” get engaged, and express ideas. Employees need to be treated as individuals, validated for their input and unique contributions.

“Challenging and meaningful work is vitally important to engaging American workers,” says John Gibbons, program director of employee engagement research and services at The Conference Board. “Widespread job dissatisfaction negatively affects employee behavior and retention, which can impact enterprise-level success.”

“Satisfaction,” it seems, is not only a requirement for a quality life, but for a growing and profitable company. The companies who are thriving now and attracting the most talented and loyal employees, do so with a purposeful strategy:

Fostering communication and welcoming creative input about company processes.
Providing a challenging, yet purposeful mission that brings about engagement and attracts talented, spirited employees.
Recognizing the connections between work and other aspects of life – Family, health, spiritual growth, and personal pursuits.
Helping people strengthen the connections between work and those other aspects of life.
Rewarding effort, risk taking, creativity, and loyalty in a variety of ways (money, recognition, flex-time, etc.)

Satisfaction is not an end result. It is a byproduct of a challenging and purposeful approach to work … and to life.

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New Year – New Pattern

dan — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 22:08:14 +0000

At the start of each year, we dive again into the unknown, recommitted to make positive improvements to some, or several aspects of our lives. Perhaps this idea of a “fresh start” provides new hope and energy. That’s fantastic! But it’s not enough. It will take a sustained commitment and a coordinated plan to be successful.

I have created a seven minute video that will help you as you plan your year. It will give you a different way to approach the the personal and professional changes you want to make. It will also help you to develop a wider view of the various aspects of your life, and see how they are all connected.

Click here to view the embedded video.

After you watch this video, you will have a different perspective of the changes you are contemplating. And you’ll be ready to take action.

Into Action

This year, take these steps to ensure that your ambitions become accomplishments and that your desires turn into “done deals.”

Consider how you want to grow in each of the five spheres of life – Work, Relationships, Health, Spiritual Growth, and Personal Interests. Capture these thoughts on paper, or in a computer file. When you write down your desires, you make them real, tangible and far more powerful. This step is extremely important.
Look for supportive connections between your goals and desires. What lifelines will be strengthened or enhanced as you pursue and realize your goals? Which goals complement one another?
Minimize the negative impact of changes. In what ways might your goals challenge your spheres and lifelines? Even a desire to make a positive change can have unintended, undesirable ramifications. As you go “off balance” in pursuit of a goal, what other areas of your life may be neglected or compromised? How can you minimize these negative consequences by engaging the support and connections of your life pattern?
Go for incremental progress instead of the end result. You can’t accomplish all your goals at once. Start with the one that will have the most significant overall benefit to your five spheres. Then take the first step toward improvement. Before long, your progress will create momentum to help you continue the journey.

Life will never be perfectly balanced, but it can be Off Balance On Purpose. That means you can make the choices to initiate the changes and challenges that will bring about your positive transformation. Along the way, please consider me as a resource and partner.

Keep leaning forward!

Dan

Accept a New Challenge

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Post tags: goal setting, life balance, new years resolutions

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Holiday Connections

dan — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:22:43 +0000

Last night my wife and I attended the Holiday Party for the National Speakers Association – Georgia chapter. As always, it was a great time, with non-stop enjoyable conversations. I really am thankful to have that group of people, and the NSA organization, in my life.

When I joined NSA more than fifteen years ago, I was a wide-eyed twenty something with abundant excitement and little real knowledge about the profession of “Speaking.” Going to those first meetings, I was a little intimidated but mostly curious and awed by the talent and variety of interesting characters … some of which are still members today.

NSA is a remarkable group. People openly share all of their information, business practices, and trade secrets with one another. The support is heartfelt and genuine. After I got over the initial shock and suspicion, I’m convinced that NSA cut my learning curve by several years. But, more importantly, it gave me a group of people to consider colleagues, as well as friends, as we all seek to become better over time and help others to do the same. In many ways, although I am one of the group’s veterans now, I feel that I am still that beginning student. There is no end to learning in this remarkable, ever changing profession. Learning, in any meaningful endeavor, is a lifelong process.

I’m hopeful that you have an association of people like this in your life, too. That’s how we stay connected, accountable, and motivated to continue past our discouragements and challenges. We can’t do it alone.

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Staying Flexible

dan — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:58:02 +0000

For the past five weeks, I’ve been keeping regular attendance at the Yoga Source Studio near my home and office. It’s funny, but I have driven by this place for years, thinking I really should go take a class. Though I had only had limited experience with yoga, each time I tried it I came away with the realization that it would be an awesome component to my practice regimen.

As an I get older and continue to perform acrobatics, maintaining my fitness and overall flexibility is increasingly important. Flexibility, I am convinced, is one of the most important ingredients to injury prevention and recovery. I was also very interested in the benefits I would gain from getting better control and capacity of my breath. As a speaker, and especially a speaker who does back flips and handstand push ups, being able to manage my breathing is a rudimentary skill to enable me to deliver a powerful, persuasive flow of words.

Already, after just a month on the mat (2-3 times a week) I am noticing a huge benefit. Plus, I really enjoy the “escape,” being able to devote an hour apart from the phone or in-box and simply listen to the quiet voice within. Would that be the within-box? I don’t know.

In Off Balance On Purpose, I write a lot about the “lifelines” – the vital connections between the spheres of life. For me, the practice of yoga is strengthening the lifeline connections between Health–Spiritual Growth–Personal Interests. As I get to know other people in the class (and will also be bringing my wife, Sheilia, with me on Thursday), it will also be a way to strengthen some important and new Relationships.

In what ways do you need to remain flexible? How are you preparing for it? If you read my writing, you probably get the idea that everything with me is a metaphor for something deep and meaningful in life. Guilty as charged. But it is certainly true that we need to stay flexible – in our thinking, our abilities, and our approach – if we are to have remain adaptable, successful, and happy.

Take a deep breath. Relax. Lean forward. Stretch. Doesn’t that feel good?

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Got Tension?

dan — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 17:07:07 +0000

Do you have tension in your life?

Let’s see. Between economic uncertainty, job pressures, and the multitude of circumstances competing for your attention, I’d say it’s a safe bet that we all experience the daily tugs of tension.

And that is a good thing.

Tension is natural, normal, and a vital component of a healthy, enjoyable, prosperous life. The key is to distinguish between the helpful, positive tensions that pull us forward toward improvement and the negative, destructive tensions that sabotage success and happiness.

As Glinda, the Witch of the North, asked Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, “Are you a good witch or a bad witch?”, we should ask the same of the tension in our lives. Is it good tension or bad tension?

Bad Tension

Bad tension may manifest in our lives as stress, strain, or sickness. The prolonged presence of these negative elements can take an enormous toll, manifesting in serious physical ailments or depression.

You need to diffuse the negative tensions in your life. Recognize and reject them. And note that, in many cases, these factors are self-inflicted — a byproduct of our thinking, our actions, and our indecision.

Stress: (n) a biological term, meaning “The consequences of the failure of a human or animal to respond appropriately to emotional or physical threats.”

It is not the circumstances or threats that bring about stress. It is our failure to act!

You must take action to diffuse or remove the bad tension in your life.

Engage in physical exercise.
Breathe deeply and purposefully.
Make the decisions you have been forestalling.
Refuse to accept the burdens that you know will bring about unwanted, negative tension.
Replace bad tension with good tension.

Good Tension

Tension can be a positive force that helps you understand your relationship relative to others and to life’s events, challenges, opportunities, and questions. As the “magnitude” of the opportunity or challenge increases, so will the tension. For example:

The tug of competing forces (pros and cons) provides clarity relative to your position.
The pull of a compelling opportunity draws you forward into uncertainty.
The desire to become better causes you to put forth extra effort, learn, and improve your abilities.
The connection you feel with others (a force created through communication, understanding, and shared experiences) serves as a guide or comfort when you are physically separate or pursuing different agendas.

When the tension is increased — it may stir your emotions and generate some uncertainty. This, too, is normal and natural. You may notice that your existing doubts become harder to overlook. Your fears inflame. Your beliefs and abilities become tested.

I say bring it on! Even then, it is not only possible to relax and embrace uncertainty. It is a mandate!

When the stakes are real and immediate you can turn your tension into a heightened focus. Build the confidence to overshadow your doubts. It’s not as though they will go away completely. But doubts can drift into the background noise just long enough for you to take the next purposeful step down your own version of a “yellow brick road.”

Keep leaning forward,

Dan

Risk and Uncertainty

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New Currency

dan — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 15:29:16 +0000

(or Have Couch Will Travel)

Every day, it seems, an increasing number of people find themselves cash-strapped, debt-ridden, and upside down financially. This increasing national attention on the economy, job market, and overall instability of the dollar (or at least “my dollars”) is causing many to question their relationship with money.

While money may not be the source of happiness, it is often the middleman. Money provides us expanded choices, freedom, and a sense of security. With an increased cash flow, we imagine, we can bring abundance into our lives and provide for family and friends. We can also afford to be more generous, travel where we wish, and acquire resources to help us grow physically, and spiritually.

I’ve noticed an expanding trend, however, to “bypass the middle man” and look for other means – other currencies, if you will – to attain the experiences, relationships, and items we desire without the cumbersome monetary exchange.

One example I recently learned about is an organization called CouchSurfing International. This vast, worldwide community connects people, cultures, and places in a meaningful way, and it doesn’t cost any money to participate. For travelers, it provides an alternative to hotels or B&Bs, allowing them to stay at a host’s home for free. The idea of “couch surfing” implies that you will simply crash on a sofa, but in reality it usually means taking up the guest room. It is absolutely free, and as an added bonus, you not only have the benefit of accommodations, but also an opportunity to experience the place you are visiting from a local’s perspective. Especially while traveling abroad, this provides cultural immersion, opportunities to meet friends and discover places you would otherwise overlook.

Why would people do this? The people who are attracted to this concept value relationships. They love meeting people – especially people from around the globe. They value interesting experiences and love to build connections. At present, there are about 1.5 million couch surfers (representing 231 countries), 2.8 million positive experiences, and have been 1.7 million new friendships created as a result of this network.

Every aspect about CouchSurfing is voluntary, and you can view profiles, read references, compare interests, and even verify identities before agreeing to surf or host. These safety measures (and the fact that the people who are drawn to do it are naturally positive and giving in nature) ensure that the vast majority of encounters are positive. At least that has been the experience of the folks I’ve talked to. Still, I know what you’re thinking.

What is Your Relationship with Money?

Do you view money as a means to obtain something else you desire? If so, what is it?

Freedom
Happiness
Status/a sense of belonging
Adventure
Education
Improved health
Better relationships
Something else?

Is it possible that there are other ways to bypass the middleman (money) and still get more of what you want? I believe that you can, if you will follow these three steps.

Get crystal clear about what you value and what you desire.
Employ your creativity and other resources (relationships, technology, personal energy, skills, etc.)
Take action.

Here are a few examples:

Instead of expensive, formal education, access MIT lectures and other incredible resources via the Internet or iTunes University. For that matter, take advantage of your free local library!

Instead of a pricey health club membership or personal trainer, jump on a bike, take a run, do some yard work, or just walk through a park a few times a week. Get creative and develop your own cost-free workout plan.

Instead of an expensive present and fancy dinner to show your partner how much you care, plan a romantic picnic, write a touching letter, or employ your creativity (and inside information) to craft a truly special moment.

Conclusion

Your health and happiness are not derived from dollars, and that is a good thing. We cannot escape the impact of financial markets, in some form or fashion. We are all making adjustments to our game plans. But do not allow any external circumstances to hijack your happiness. That is your responsibility and mandate. And to create and experience a sensational life, you man need to convert to a new currency.

Keep looking up,

Dan

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Off Balance Mission

dan — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 18:51:37 +0000

I’m a man on a mission.

For too long, we have all been sold a bill of goods –and we have bought into the idea that:

We will be happy when we ___________________.

We will be fulfilled when we ___________________.

We will be successful once we ___________________.

We will content, peaceful, and satisfied just as soon as we ___________________.

Fill in the blanks.

The specifics of this message changes based on the marketing campaign, the product being touted, or the agenda of the individuals seeking to manipulate our motives and actions, but the general theme is the same:

“Our lives, as they exist, are insufficient and incomplete. You are incapable of experiencing happiness on your own.”

At the center of this argument is the notion that we all should achieve “Life Balance.” Once we attain this mystical (and I believe, mythical) state of existence, then we will finally be entitled to and capable of experiencing life’s intended joy.

Hogwash (or insert your favorite alternate exclamation here). I’ve had enough of this untrue and destructive message, and it’s time for a more truthful, empowering approach:

Life is not a hypothetical future. It is an undeniable present. It’s happening now! You will never attain a perfect balance, as life is in constant motion. Priorities change all the time. And, let’s face it, some things are simply more important than others.

That’s exactly why we need to embrace and initiate off balance moments. Engage life at a deeper level. Roll up your sleeves and claim your own joy, now. We do that not by achieving “balance,” but by living “off balance on purpose.”

This is serious business. Let’s look at the state we have created (as individuals and collectively, as a country) in our pursuit of balance, our desire to have a “little bit of everything”:

Tremendous debt
Overwork
Stress, exhaustion, and depression
Medications (prescribed and otherwise) to treat the symptoms
Damaged heath
Strained relationships

Ironically, the pursuit of perfection has exacerbated the ills it purports to address.

Is this a self-fulfilling prophecy? A misguided, well-intentioned effort? Or is it a deliberate attempt to keep us hungry for something other than what we possess?

A Different Approach

I believe that we can be happy, fulfilled, and vitally alive even during the off balance moments. After all, these are the only moments you have!

Off Balance is the way you will learn. It is the way you grow – personally, professionally, spiritually, or in any meaningful endeavor. We must be off balance, that is intentionally oriented toward a pursuit – in order to improve, achieve, or serve others.

The question is, are you off balance in response to your world, or are you off balance on purpose?

The Key is Purpose

At the core of this philosophy, book, and plan of action is the idea of living “on purpose.” This phrase has two meanings:

Click here for a free report from Dan's new book.

1. Intentional. Deliberate. Consciously chosen.

2. Connected to a sense meaning, a purpose high importance that compels us to persevere.

In other words, we must be decided about what we want and where we are going, and we must al

so have a meaningful reason to get there.

Purpose may come a desire for spiritual growth, a clearly defined set of values, beliefs, and principles, or a compelling personal mission. The quest for the purpose of a moment, or a life, is constantly evolving and changing, as our awareness, capabilities, and desires take new shape. But I believe that a quest for purpose is the first and most important element of a life that is joyful, rewarding, and successful.

By getting clear on what matters most, engaging a challenge that is meaningful, we begin to experience joy, fulfillment, and satisfaction during the off balance moments we experience every day.

Flow

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Models and Mentors

dan — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:56:03 +0000

I would not be where I am in life without the examples and assistance of others. And I’m willing to bet that the same is true for you. We all benefit every day from our predecessors, teachers, advocates, and encouragers. In turn, we can uplift others through our words and deeds.

Role models and mentors are essential to your growth and success. We all have them. Some we choose directly and with forethought. Others, we are drawn to and begin to emulate without a conscious decision. They simply become part of the seasoning of our characters. Regardless, over time you will become like the people you associate and identify with on a regular basis.

That’s why I believe that selecting models and mentors should be a conscious choice. Be intentional and deliberate about the people you admire and aspire to “be like.” Be bold! Choose the people you most admire. Allow the brightest and best examples of humanity to bring out the best in you!

In who's footsteps will you follow?

Role Models

You don’t need someone’s permission to make that person a role model. Heck. You don’t even need to know them! You can choose anyone, from any period in history, from any country, state, or walk of life! The other great thing about role models is that you can pick and choose the qualities you wish to adopt. Select the best aspects without the flaws (we all have them).

Learn all you can about your role models. Study their lives, routines, habits, words, and thought processes. Then ask, “how can I make those qualities my own?” You shouldn’t strive to become a carbon copy of someone else. That would be false, unsuccessful and boring. Instead, allow the best aspects of those you admire to stimulate and influence your original choices about how you will spend your time, invest your thought, and take action.

Mentors

A mentor relationship is far more personal than a role model. This is an individual you engage directly. Again, it is someone you admire for a specific reason (or several). The relationship you seek is more structured, and it requires agreement by both parties: Your mentor agrees to assist you in achieving a specific skill or result. You agree to follow the instructions and implement what you learn.

This relationship is about accountability, trust, and action. If you are unwilling to follow the plan your mentor outlines and suggests, then you are wasting your time and theirs. You will likely be pushed into areas that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. That’s the point! Sometimes it takes a commitment to a mentor (one that we respect and admire) to change our willingness to accept difficult tests. The aid of a mentor can help us achieve breakthroughs that would have taken much longer (or not been possible) on our own.

Across the Five Spheres

Choose a different role model for each of the five spheres of life (I introduce and discuss the five spheres more thoroughly in my book, Off Balance On Purpose). They are:

Read a free sample of Off Balance On Purpose

Work – Who do you wish to model professionally?

Relationships – Who enjoys and embodies the types of relationships you seek?

Health – Who is, for you, the model of health and wellness?

Spiritual Growth – Who can serve as a model for your spiritual development?

Personal Interests – Who represents “the best” in your hobbies and areas of interest?

Into Action

Write down the names of the individuals who you wish to model in each of the five life areas. There may be more than one in each category. Identify the character traits, skills, principles, disciplines, or other qualities that you most admire about that person.
Select one person and one character trait you wish to make your own. Then begin to adopt it into your life.
Carefully select a mentor in a specific area to help you with a well-defined goal or objective. Ask that person if they would be able to serve as a mentor to you. If the answer is “yes,” outline a process that respects his or her time and places the primary burden of effort where it belongs . . . on you!
Become willing to be a role model and mentor for others. What qualities, talents, and abilities do you possess that others desire and need? Every day, in all your encounters, strive to let your best traits shine, providing a positive model.

No matter how challenging the circumstances and journey you presently face, someone else has walked a similar path. You need a guide. You need a model or mentor to light the way, inspire your efforts, and provide encouragement.

Place yourself in the company of greatness, and you will also become great!

Keep leaning forward,

Dan

Flow

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Flow

dan — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 11:06:46 +0000

Don’t you just love it when things go smoothly? At such times, events, tasks, and conversations seem to happen naturally, and in a way that flows with perfect timing and seamless execution? We have all enjoyed these wonderful occasions. But we are also familiar (perhaps, more so) with the opposite experience, when obtaining progress seems to require supreme effort.

The concept of “flow”—this elusive and wonderful mode of operation—fascinates me, and I have always been drawn to questions surrounding the subject, such as:

• What is the state of flow, and how does it relate to human performance?
• Does flow happen accidentally or intentionally?
• How can we recapture or reproduce this state when it matters most?

I had an experience with “flow” of a different sort just last week, rafting through the Nenana River in Denali, Alaska. My wife and I took an excursion to the shadow of Denali Mountain (Mt. McKinley) in the Alaska Range, and employed a guide to steer us down class 3 and 4 rapids through the canyon of this glacially fed river. The water was a numbing 36 degrees, so we wore dry suits to protect us from total bone chill. The beauty and challenge had us completely engaged, and the ten mile, 2 ½ hour trip went by in a blink.

Perception is Reality

When you are fully engaged in a challenge, your concept of time and effort may become altered or “warped.” This phenomenon is one of the qualities of flow, according to the expert on the subject, Mihaly Czikszentmihal, author of Flow—The Psychology of Optimal Experience. He says, “instead of being buffeted by anonymous forces, we feel in control of our actions, masters of our own fate. On the rare occasions that it happens, we feel a sense of exhilaration, a deep sense of enjoyment that is long cherished and becomes a landmark in memory for what life should be like.”

Athletes may experience this state when engaged in competition. Creative types know full well the same sensation that arises from immersion in their work. And all of us have tapped into flow through meaningful conversations, rewarding work, fascinating educational encounters, or joyful, loving moments.

Getting There/ Finding Flow

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to access this state of mind, this deep happiness that shapes us so profoundly, on a regular basis? Well, you can! This immensely rewarding feeling, it seems, stems from our deliberate decisions to fully engage life and it’s challenging moments. Csikszentmihalyi writes, “The best moments usually occur when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limit in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.” That’s what I call living Off Balance On Purpose.

Instead of focusing on “flow” as a noun (a desirable end game), view it as a verb (a way of being and engaging your world). We choose to flow by applying ourselves to tackle a challenge, solve a problem, or embrace an intense and important moment.

Off Balance On Purpose

Similarly, “balance” is not a noun, a goal we can ultimately attain. When you pursue it as such, you immediately limit yourself and your response to your world. While grappling for balance, you have to impose rules and rigidly define what “balance” is. This proves to be difficult, if not impossible, as the concept is constantly changing to reflect the longing for what could be but isn’t. The grass will always be greener, and life could always be more fulfilling—somehow.

When you shift your viewpoint to see “balance” as a verb, limitations become limitless possibilities. You are engaged in the art of balancing multiple aspects of life, applying your skills, talents, choices, actions, and creative solutions to integrate what is happening all around you. There is no “end game,” as the masterwork of your creation (your life) is in constant flow. But by engaging the challenge and responding in a vibrant way, you become the guide who shapes the journey.

Into Action

1. Increase your level of engagement in your world. Pursue a more meaningful challenge and you just may find yourself swept up by a sense of flow that brings you joy and heightened rewards.
2. Stop searching for “balance” and become a better balancer. Learn the skills that will enable you to guide yourself through challenging moments.
3. Choose the route you wish to follow—a route that is both “difficult and worthwhile.”
4. Manage your internal reality. When you cultivate a sense of order in your thinking, you also experience order in your life.

When the waves pound you, feel the exhilaration, dig in your paddles, and become a part of the flow.

Keep Leaning Forward,

Dan

Click here for a sample of Dan's new book, Off Balance On Purpose, available NOW!

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Getting Un-Stuck

dan — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 11:38:58 +0000

Are you stuck?

Don’t worry, it happens to everyone from time to time.

There are many ways to feel “stuck.” You could be, for instance:

stuck in your ways
stuck in the mud
stuck in a rut
stuck in a routine
stuck in an unfulfilling job, relationship, commitment, or cycle of behavior

When you find yourself “stuck,” in some form or fashion, you realize you have lost momentum and you are in a less-then-ideal situation with little immediate hope for improvement.

The danger is getting used to the feeling of stuck-ness, looking around and enjoying the surroundings as we take full ownership of our condition. Being stuck can be kind of fun. After all, it is a great excuse to miss appointments! Being stuck in life can help us explain away other circumstances and justify why we are where we are. It’s not our fault, after all. It’s just that . . . well . . . we’re stuck!

Don’t become content with your surroundings. If you are stuck right now, it is up to you to change the situation. Get yourself un-stuck! Cease being satisfied with your undesirable state of “stuck” and insist on more for your life! Become discontent with the status “stuck” and initiate the path toward a new freedom and higher fulfillment.

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but discontentment is the mother of reinvention.

Initially, it is imperative to come to terms with your situation, own your reality, and embrace the condition you face. But ultimately, if you are unsatisfied, it is up to you to reshape your reality, and alter your condition for the better.

Contentment, complacency and acceptance of a “stuck” situation may lead to:

Restricted awareness – You know what you know, and little else.
Limited options – What can be done about it, anyway?
Atrophy –Your abilities begin to weaken, and so does your passion.
Suffering of your spirit – You know you are off purpose and less than your best.

Getting Un-Stuck

Don’t wait around for AAA to show up and remedy your plight. It’s up to you to harness your discontentment and use that as a motivation force to change your situation. Break out of your inertia and start moving forward with purposeful strides.

Into Action

1.    Change something (even a small thing) about your routine.
2.    Say “yes” to an invitation or opportunity you would normally decline.
3.    Learn something new. Expand your awareness.
4.    Ask for a “push” from someone you respect and trust.
5.    Take a bold step you have been putting off (even though you know it must be done). Make the decision, put it in gear, and GO!

Being stuck can be a debilitating condition. But it isn’t a permanent one. Sooner or later, some force, event, or person will alter the status quo. But if you want the alteration to be in your favor and for your benefit, then it is up to you to take charge of change. Come to your own rescue. Dig in. Push! You might get a little messy, but the satisfaction of being un-stuck is far superior to the acceptance of a rutted life.

With encouragement always,

Dan

Twitter Updates for 2009-05-28

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