Curing 30 Years One Month At A Time

Who Would Win In A Battle Between The ShamWow Guy and Billy Mays? Neither, My Kids Would Crush Them Both

30tocure30 — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 04:30:29 +0000

Here is some sound advice: don’t trust the words of a man who somehow gets arrested for punching a ‘lady of the evening’ in a swank hotel, especially if he is an infomercial pitchman. Vince Schlomi, better known as the ShamWow guy, was caught a few months ago with his pants down (literally). While dialing [...]

Are The Rumors True: Did The Step Brothers Break His Spirit?

30tocure30 — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 18:52:30 +0000

The note on the door caught all of the Issues off guard. At first, they thought nothing of the substitute teacher that replaced Tony one afternoon. Probably a stomach bug, or something like that, they figured. But, when he was absent the next afternoon and the days that followed some of the Hang-Ups begin to [...]

The Super Nanny Is The Armchair Quarterback Of Parenting Experts

30tocure30 — Mon, 25 May 2009 04:14:55 +0000

When you find yourself living from paycheck to paycheck, it’s hard not to feel slightly cynical about your current circumstances. Money, or the lack thereof, consumes your thoughts. Instead of counting sheep at night, you wonder if you could get a part time job as a sheep shearer so you can stop cutting coupons. At [...]

Let The Great American Idol Debate Begin: Upset, Shocker or Travesty?

30tocure30 — Thu, 21 May 2009 04:51:04 +0000

Just in case you were wondering, there are twelve traffic lights between my house and where my daughter attends preschool. How do I know this random piece of information you might ask? Defying all odds and probability, I had the opportunity today to count each one as I waited for them to turn from red [...]

Dr. Buddy Rydell Answer Me This: How Does One Not Go Insane Passing Time In A Hospital Room?

30tocure30 — Tue, 19 May 2009 02:00:56 +0000

Your entertainment options are fairly limited when you find yourself passing time in a hospital room taking care of a loved one. After getting over the initial shock of not having the little rugrats crawling all over you while repeatedly asking “why” and “what’s that,” you begin to catch up on what your wife has [...]

“The Look” Was Received Loud And Clear Or Should I Say Silent And Glaring

30tocure30 — Tue, 12 May 2009 04:48:57 +0000

You reach a certain point in marriage where words aren’t needed to express to your spouse how you are feeling or what you are thinking about. All that is required is a simple look. This trick comes in handy, especially in social settings, with many couples using this non-verbal awareness to their advantage. Take for [...]

Hey Teen Wolf…Grab Marty McFly, Hop In His DeLorean And We Can Go On A Few ‘Adventures Of An Incurable Cynic’

30tocure30 — Sat, 09 May 2009 03:39:01 +0000

I didn’t have to travel the globe to understand the nature or depths of my cynicism. All I had to do was sit on my couch, flip on the television and watch an hour-long ABC special on how Michael J. Fox, a man crippled with Parkinson’s Disease, looks at life every day with hope and [...]

The Elusive Internet Connection Has Mr. Tinkle Cranky At The Hampton Inn

30tocure30 — Wed, 06 May 2009 04:25:36 +0000

Another night finds me burning the midnight oil. Wow, that was a horrible way to start a post. What the heck does that expression even mean? Right off the bat I am unoriginal and far from engaging. Hands down that was the worst opening line ever. I’ll be lucky if a single person continues to [...]

Shake And Baking Things Up By Picking A Pair Of Step Brothers

30tocure30 — Sun, 03 May 2009 03:26:42 +0000

B-r-r-r-i-n-g!!! Class is back in session. Physically I am here, but mentally I am absent. Exhausted from the domestic duties at home, I decide to take the day off by surprising all of my Issues and Regrets with a pop quiz. Honestly, there is no point to the exam other than it gives me an [...]

Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of Uneventful Endings

30tocure30 — Fri, 01 May 2009 04:43:05 +0000

It’s hard to describe the pressure you feel as a parent when you are choosing a movie for date night with your spouse. Moments minus the kids are few and far between so a lot is riding on your decision. Pick a cinematic masterpiece then all is right with the world. On the other hand, [...]