I know, I’ve been talking a lot about my favorite show “Breaking Bad” in the hallowed pages of these emails lately. And recently, my fanboyism for the show has paid off in spades as “Email Players” subscriber Tobin Poppenberg recently sent me a t-shirt with a figure drawing of the show’s main character “Heisenberg.”

You can see it by clicking here.

(I’m quite proud of it ha ha)

By the way, side note #1:

The quickest way to get my attention is to buy me stuff like this.

I’m shameless like that…

Side note #2:

If you’ve never seen the show, the shirt probably looks dorky. But, I can assure you, it’s kool and the gang.

Anyway, is there a point to this?

Of course there is.

It’s all in the shirt, baby.

You see, the guy on the shirt “Heisenberg” in the show has gained a sort of cult-like following amongst the meth-using and dealing underworld. Nobody (alive) has really seen him, and so all people had was a vague drawing of what he looks like.

And he’s a legend in a sense.

Something larger than life.

Not just a man… but an icon.

A man to be feared… and respected.

And as a result, he attracts the attention of everyone from competition (like a billion dollar drug cartel)… to the DEA (who he continues to elude)… to thousands of “fans” of his product.

It’s not all that different online.

Especially when you use my email system.

Do email the Settle way and you start attracting all kinds of attention, and become kind of a “legend” in your own niche(s).

Some of it good.

(Like JV partners, clients, colleagues, etc).

Some of it bad.

(Like idiot copycats, jealousy, etc).

But attract attention you will.

And with that attention comes more sales.

More customers.

And, yes, more profits.

So sac up, Heisenberg.

Get those emails out.

And, when you’re ready to play with the big boys, go to:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

P.S. Next issue (coming up soon)…

I’m going to show you how to legally get other people to write your emails for you… without them even knowing it (and without copying other emails). Also going to hand you a bunch of cool subject line templates… and a proven way to “reanimate” dead buyers on your list who haven’t bought in a while (or any leads who haven’t heard from you in months or even years).

So much information.

All packed into one issue.

But, only if you subscribe in time at:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Usually… I reject them.

Why?

Isn’t that like flushing money away?

Mayhaps.

But if someone cancels (especially during or right after their first month) it’s usually from one or more of these 4 reasons:

1. They just wanted the free stuff

This is the mark of a loser.

You cannot do much about these types, they are who they are, and whenever your offer is heavily “bribe” based (like mine is) you will attract them.

2. They’re quitters

They’re like the guy who only takes a health supplement for 30 days, doesn’t feel results, then quits. These people are not serious about their success.

Fact is, most who stay past 3 months stick around long term.

Make lots of sales.

And CRAVE more information to get more.

And those who quit?

They often cite money as the reason.

Which brings us to reason number 3…

3. I have not provided them enough value

Money is NEVER the real reason.

Even a homeless beggar on the street can afford $3.23 per day (the subscription price). Money is an excuse, but not a legitimate reason. And if that reason is cited as the excuse then I’ve either not provided them enough value (so why let them re-subscribe if that’s the case?) or…

4. They are not using the information

Again, it’s not the money.

$3 and change per day won’t break anyone.

Most “broke” people I know piss away 5 times that each day at Starbucks. So I’m either underwhelming them (so again, why let them come back?) or they are not APPLYING the information. If they don’t apply it, they can’t benefit from it and there’s no reason for them to stick around (or for me to allow them to come back later — no do-nothings allowed).

So those are the main reasons people quit.

And also the reasons I reject most who try to come back.

Some people slip through the cracks.

But I usually catch them.

And when I do, I go “Soup Nazi” on them:

“No newsletter for you!”

Sometimes I even tell them to try back in 1 year (another trick I learned from the Soup Nazi).

Hey, I SUFFER for my newsletter.

I demand perfection from myself.

And… from each issue.

How can I tolerate any less from subscribers?

Ben Settle

You know what those are, right?

Basically they are people who latch onto a goo-roo and ape everything that goo-roos does. They use the goo-roo’s emails verbatim. Never test anything outside accepted goo-roo orthodoxy. And, even worse, start selling info products based on what little they know (which is often skewed or outdated info) to OTHER hapless newbies who then follow suit — at which point they grant themselves goo-roo status.

Not saying they’re all “bad” people.

But they are often a zealous bunch of baboons.

And frankly, I wouldn’t be shocked if they had their own “creed.”

Maybe even their own “commandments.”

Something like…

I  Thou shalt tell people to test but never test anything thyself

II Thou shalt spend thy time in marketing forums and avoid real work as much as humanly possible

III Thou shalt mindlessly quote thy favorite goo-roo whenever thou art asked a question

IV Thou shalt shamelessly swipeth ALL thy ad copy

V Thou shalt never run an ad selling a money-making product without at least one phony photoshopped bank statement as “proof”

VI Thou shalt NOT blaspheme goo-roos by refusing to participate in their every product launch

VII Thou shalt only join lists that give away free info and rebuke all those who dare sell thee anything (unless ’tis a goo-roo list, of course)

VIII Thou shalt inflate and exaggerate ALL claims

IX Thou shalt use the same form email all thy competition uses when promoting products to thy list

X Thou shalt honor the 50+ word headline and keep it holy

Hey, don’t scoff.

If you’ve met a goo-roo fanboy you KNOW I speakth the truth here.

Again, I’m not saying goo-roo fanboys are evil.

Amusing?

Yep!

Bad people?

Not usually.

(Just misguided.)

But I sure wouldn’t recommend listening to them.

Ben Settle

P.S. The next “Email Players” issue contains possibly the most valuable email tip I can impart on you. Something that makes writing emails 10x’s faster. Practically guarantees your subject lines nail it. And, virtually eliminates second-guessing if your email will be eagerly read by your market.

Oh, and it won’t exactly hurt your sales either.

This bad-boy goes to the printer soon.

Get your email lovin’ while its hot:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Check out this question:

“Instead of buying your products, my guess is you apply your same products to your own daily emails. This is why i reverse engineer your daily emails and extract the good stuff out from them. My question is why should I buy your products if they are already applied to your daily emails (if they arn’t – then wtf)?”

Your question amuses me.

For one, you can’t “reverse engineer” what I’m doing.

You can try to.

And, you may even think you are doing it.

But I can assure you, you’re not.

And any one of my long term “Email Players” subscribers will tell you the same thing. This is why swiping my emails will not do you any good long term — you don’t even know what you’re swiping.

Example:

Sometimes I do things WRONG on purpose.

Yes, sweetie, I do this to you.

And all the “reverse engineers” like you.

Why?

Because it amuses me.

And because I know that in the long run it doesn’t hurt my sales since I do things the right way enough times where it doesn’t matter. This is why all the idiots who ripped off my “Avengers” email last week (apparently the goo-roo fanboys were scrambling for an original thought that day) will never make the money they could be making — while completely demolishing their credibility with long term customers, even if they get a few short term buyers.

As for should you subscribe?

No!

You should continue to fool yourself into thinking I’m giving anything even CLOSE to my best, most profitable tips away in my free emails. You should also continue to “reverse engineer” my emails where I do things purposely wrong. And, you should continue to sign up for free lists thinking that’s all you need.

That’s the ticket.

The rest of us will have the best customers.

Make the most sales.

And, build the biggest businesses.

To take off the training wheels, go here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ta,

Ben Settle

Remember yesterday’s email?

About why you should not copy other emails and all the dangers of doing so? How it’ll ruin your credibility? Make you look like a wannabe? And, ultimately, destroy your sales?

Well, some got offended by that.

It was quite amusing.

After all…

Anyone offended by that email has just admitted they are swipe & steal drones and don’t like guys like me telling them not to do so (real work rarely agrees with goo-roo fanboys).

It’s a good thing I couldn’t care less they’re offended.

And, think it’s funny they are.

On the other hand…

A few swipe & stealers took it to heart.

Thanked me for the lesson.

And said they were going to change their wicked ways.

Good!

Just don’t waste any more time worring about it.

Don’t obsess over it.

And, don’t get wracked with guilt over it.

Everyone screws up.

Yes, even me.

(I once made a mistake back in 1996…)

Don’t sweat it.

To paraphrase Jesus Christ Himself:

Go thou and swipe no more!

And then get your newly righteous self on the “Email Players” newsletter, where I’ll show you exactly how to write emails in a way where you will never have to copy anyone (nor want to, assuming you have the ability to follow directions) or be looked at as a poser.

This stuff ain’t magic, sweetie.

It’s actually pretty simple.

And when you take my red pill, life gets WAY more interesting.

With more sales.

More success.

And, yes, more fun.

Here’s where to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

They were a sort of pop & dance based group back in the late 1980′s/early 1990′s. They were pretty popular for a while (never did understand what the big deal was, but then again I’m a classic rock kinda guy) until one day they were caught… lip syncing on stage.

In other words…

They weren’t actually singing live.

They were just *pretending* to sing.

Ouch.

It pretty much done the band in.

This happens in BUSINESS, too.

And, it happens far more often than people realize.

Here’s a real life story:

Last Friday, I received a few forwards of someone else’s email (who SHALT remain nameless) that had my exact headline “We have a HULK” and even the exact body copy word-for-word.

Not good.

I mean, it doesn’t do me much harm.

But it DID hurt the guy who sent it.

You see, there were obviously people on his list that are on mine, and when they saw his email, they instantly lost respect for him. Any credibility that was built up was gone in an eye blink. And if they told others then, well…

Now, this guy apologized.

Said he felt humiliated and embarrassed.

And even said he was going to “come clean” to his list about it.

A VERY good idea IMH (but accurate) O.

Because like Ken McCarthy told me…

Credibility is like a light switch. It takes a while to turn the light on, but once it’s turned off, it’s virtually impossible to turn it back on again.

Anyway, no biggie.

After all…

Creative theft is the sincerest form of flattery, yeah?

It’s just not profitable in emails.

So if you want to learn my system (and not copy me or anyone else) then check out the “Email Players” newsletter.

It’s not cheap.

And it’s not for toe-dippers.

(Those who just want to test the waters.)

If you’re in, then commit to it.

Become GREAT at it.

And leave your competition in the dust:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

What an awesome ride!

The last 4 years of Marvel movies all built up to this movie and it completely exceeded my expectations in every way. (Yes, I’ll be dipping into that well again soon — not just because I enjoyed the movie, but because, to paraphrase the late, GREAT copywriting jeenius Gene Schwartz: Go see all the most popular movies 2-3 times, since there’s something in there resonating with people, and you should let it influence your ads…)

Anyway, back to the movie.

There are lots of great moments in it.

Probably my favorite is when Loki is talking to Tony Stark.

(i.e. Ironman)

Loki tells Tony, “I have an army.”

Stark flippantly replies, “We have a HULK.”

And, as anyone who has seen the movie knows, the Hulk pretty much steals the show as he beeotch-slaps alien space ships mid air (literally), squashes aliens with his bare hands and gives one of the best bad guy beat-downs you’ll ever see.

Yes, Loki had an army.

But the Avengers had a HULK.

And that one Hulk allowed them to compete (and ultimately win against) that entire army.

So what’s this got to do with your marketing?

Well, I’m biased, of course.

But in my way of thinking, email is your HULK.

It’s that ace in the hole tool that lets you compete even in markets overheated with competition and an army of wannabes always trying to steal your thunder.

Hey, this ain’t no joke, babycakes.

Think about it:

It’s easy to get discouraged when you see goo-roos pounding their chests and patting each other on the ass for a job well done while doing their JV’s with other goo-roos and hyping up their affiliate “feeding frenzies.”

It’s hard for most to compete against that.

To compete against that ARMY.

But, not if you have a Hulk.

Not if you have email.

And, not if you use it correctly.

Enter “Email Players”:

Each issue is packed with ways to use the lowly, “retro” email to as much as double (or more) your sales.

Even if you have a small list.

Even if you’re surrounded by lots of competition.

And, even if you are brand new.

Here’s where to subscribe:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

And while on the surface it may seem to only apply to freelance copywriters, it really applies to ANYONE in ANY kind of service business:

Hey Ben,

Enjoy your emails – and I especially enjoyed the one you wrote about how copywriting clients are always gumming up the works.

I can see why you got out of taking clients… they’re all a bunch of know-it-all shitheads.

FYI – I’m a working copywriter, working full-time for a stock-advisory service. I’m disenchanted with this outfit, mainly because they insist on making me do a gazillion revisions every damn time I write a promotion. By the time my promotions go out, they’ve been mish-mashed into a watered-down approximation of my original idea.

Yeah, my work makes $$, but it’s frustrating that they just don’t let me run with the ball, ya know? I’d bet my left nut that if they just let me do my thing, they’d make much more $$$ (and of course, so would I via royalties).

So out of frustration I’ve started picking up free-lance gigs, hoping these people would be easier to work with.

Fat chance. Alas, it’s obvious that they’re all the same, cut from the same tired corporate cloth.

They all think they know everything because they’ve been in marketing for years… have worked for highly recognized companies, blah, blah blah.

I’ve come too far in this biz to let these penny-ante jokers steal my spirit.

So that’s where I’m headed – entrepreneursville. And it’s good that you’re telling your readers that’s what they need to do, too.

Anyway, I thought you’d get a kick out of my story. And good for you that you saw the light and now call the shots by working for yourself.

Keep up the good work.

Onward!

D.F.

And there you have it, kids.

(Another “red pill” story, eh?)

Even if you enjoy client work, remember: (1) You’ll never get rich working for someone else and (2) You’ll never be free working for someone else. So at the very least, sell your own products on the side.

It’s easy, too.

Start building a list.

Mail it daily using my system.

And enjoy the extra $$.

To learn my system, go to:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

The Matrix!

I can watch it over and over and over.

(And I have…)

The best part is the “red pill” scene.

This is when Neo (the main character, for all ye cavemen who have been living inside a rocky conclave since 1999) is given the choice between taking two pills: A red pill and a blue pill. If he takes the red pill he will know the truth — that reality as he knows it is a big lie, and all humans are jacked into a giant computer, with their living bodies being used as bio fuel for machines that rule the world. If he takes the blue pill, he goes on in sweet, blissful ignorance, thinking he’s free, while really he is being enslaved, consumed and ultimately killed by the machines that control his reality.

So he takes the red pill.

Becomes disconnected from the machine.

And sees reality for what it is.

Well, guess what?

Every day I make YOU a similar choice:

Take the red pill or the blue pill.

I make you this offer every time I plug “Email Players.”

When you stubbornly refuse to subscribe, you are gagging down the BLUE pill. You go on unaware of the power of email. How it can near-instantly increase your sales. And how it can bring you a kind of peace of mind you’ll never find lobbing tweets and FaceBook “likes” into cyberspace.

Then, there’s the red pill.

That’s what “Email Players” is.

Only a few swallow it, of course.

Hey, a lot of people are scared of success.

(It’s a huge problem in society.)

Now, I cannot make you any guarantees.

I don’t know the future.

And didn’t write you today to tell you how it’ll end.

I’m writing to tell you how it begins.

Now I’m going to plug “Email Players”, and a few will subscribe. When that happens, I’m going to show them what the rest of the blue-pill goo-roos don’t want them to see.

A world where’s there no real competition.

A world without “profit borders” or controls dictating your income.

A world, NEO, where you succeed.

And, succeed BIG.

Where you go from there…

… is a choice I leave to you…

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle

Apparently, he posted an Internet ad looking for someone who would agree to be killed, cooked and eaten. And some dumb ass (let’s call it like it is) actually answered the ad thinking it was nothing more than a “macabre fantasy game.”

Kind of freaky, isn’t it?

Apparently, the would-be “manwich” lived, though.

After talking to Mr. Cannibal on the phone, he realized something was a tad… askew… and called the police.

Anyway, it got me to thinking.

It’s no wonder people are so skeptical online.

Yes, the economy is one reason.

But there’s also the “freak factor.”

You just don’t know who you’re buying from.

Of course, this is just one (of a gazillion) reasons to be using email more and not less like certain ex-spurts are suggesting with their silly “email is dead” shticks.

Email is alive and kicking.

And it works because it’s… intimate.

What do I mean by that?

It’s the Internet version of talk radio (what I call “talk radio on glass”) if you do it right. People LOVE their favorite talk radio hosts. They trust them and their opinions. And they tune in every single day and love every minute of it.

So it is with email, too.

It’s very intimate.

Do it right and people will tune into YOUR “show” every day.

They’ll know you, like you and trust you.

And they won’t be afraid you’ll eat their money.

(Or their bodies!)

Anyway, want to knock out emails like that?

That get people trusting you?

And eagerly wanting to buy?

Then go ye here:

www.EmailPlayers.com

Ben Settle