I’m not going to write that now.  When I saw Gemma for the first time… I can’t even describe the feeling.  Still, to this day, every time I look at Gemma, my eyes swell up, and I can’t believe how much I love that little girl.  It’s the most surreal feeling I’ve ever felt in my entire life!

Two days after Gemma was born, a doctor came in and asked us if they could give her a lumbar puncture to test for meningitis.  That hurt like I can’t even describe.  Parents out there, I am sure understand the feeling.  I got to thinking about it, and I realized…. God gave His only son for us.  Not to get a lumbar puncture, but to be beaten, spit on, stabbed, and then nailed to a cross!!!

I can honestly say, I don’t think I could do that.  Heck, I could hardly approve a lumbar puncture, which would make sure she was healthy!

I’m writing this to say… I was wrong.  I cannot, and will never be able to understand God’s love.  There was a minute where I thought I may be able to wrap my head around it.  I can’t.  What an amazing week!  What an amazing God!

When Gemma was born, mama bear (Andrea) and Gemma had a slight fever.  Nothing insane.  Since then, they’ve been running blood screens on Gemma.

Her CRP count has been exceedingly high.  A normal CRP count for a new born is 0.9.  Gemma’s on Thursday was 9.6 and on Friday had spiked to 11.6.  This means that Gemma’s body is fighting off an infection.  The doctors can’t seem to pinpoint where.   On Friday, a Neonatal specialist came in and said that he needed to make sure that Gemma’s infection was not in her brain, (Meningitis) by doing a lumbar puncture, which is a spinal tap but needed our approval to do so.  Ouch.  This parenthood thing is TOUGH!!  Andrea and I discussed it and decided that we really had no choice.  It’s hard to say, “OK… you can stick a needle in our baby’s back.”.

The results came back negative, PRAISE GOD! We thought that was great news.  We thought that meant that there wasn’t an infection.  Yesterday they told us there still was an infection and little baby Gemma had to stay at the hospital until they A) found the infection or B) she’s completed a full round of antibiotics, which could take 7-10 days.

Gemma is currently in level 2 of NICU.  Level 2, I think means pretty much she is NOT in critical condition.  Andrea and I are the only two allowed to visit her, and have to literally scrub in, and put on gowns to see her.  It’s so surreal.  This is not anything I ever imagined our first baby’s birth would be like!

We spoke with her pediatrician last night and we got more information than anyone at the hospital could give us.  Worst case scenario Gemma will be in the hospital until next Sunday if the antibiotics she is on now work.
If her blood work comes back improved today, like a CRP level of 9, and then even more improved tomorrow, there is a chance we will be able to take Gemma home and give her the love and care she needs, and get the rest of her antibiotics either by a nurse that comes to our home, or by taking her to out pediatrician.  That is what we are praying for today.  I would love it if you prayed with us!

We’re praying for wisdom for the doctors treating her.  We are praying that she is touched with God’s healing hand, and that her body is able to fight this infection (wherever it is, most likely in the blood).  We are praying for strength, courage and wisdom ourselves to understand what is happening.  We are both new to this parenthood thing, and we HATE seeing poor Gemma have to go through all of this.  If you could pray with us, that would be great!

For right now, we are in a hotel by the hospital, so we can feed Gemma and be close to her.   Andrea and I are working in shifts during the night, so we can each try to get a little bit more than 1.5 hours of sleep at a time.

I know that this could all be going way worse, but now I understand when parents talk about their child hurting.  It sucks bad.

I will continue to update this site with any news and I’m even trying to make a page for pictures.

Talking about the miserable-ness of our generation. It defines us perfectly. It reminds me to sit back and be amazed sometimes.

“New York to L.A…. That used to take THIRTY YEARS!”

“Give it a minute, it’s going to SPACE!”

Watch this.

Andrea is dilated 1.5 cm and 50% effaced.

Toby says she’ll be here on September 28th.

What is your guess?

Dear ABC Family,

I have a bone to pick with you.  I don’t even really know where to begin.  When I think of the word family incorporated with a tv channel, I automatically think, “Oh, this is something the entire family can watch together.”  I almost get excited. I think of the opportunity to talk to family about real life issues.  (As I thought was going to be possible with your ‘hit’ show, “The Secret Life”)

Now, the content of the shows don’t bother me as much as your rhetoric and target audience. (I won’t touch on the wonderful acting today)  The name of your channel is ‘ABC Family’.  Family.  Now, at first glance I thought, “The Secret Life”, what a wonderful opportunity to talk to a child about premarital sex.”  Amazing my astonishment when this show was filled with some (horribly thought 0ut) plots.  Not only does a teenager get pregnant, but her dad is cheating on her mom, her christian friend becomes a slut, (from my understanding) another man’s wife dies, (or the other way around) and merely 2 weeks later he is sleeping with another woman.  Wow.  Now, I am sure that this is great television to some, but I have to disagree with the way you are targeting our youth for this kind of garbage.

If you have a defense for that show, (Which I’m sure you do) how on earth do you explain another one of your prime time shows, “Greek”.  (GRΣΣK). I really don’t have to explain further do I?  How do you justify targeting young kids to watch this junk?

I urge you to consider changing the name of your station to something a little more reasonable, instead of just changing your tag-line to “A new kind of family.” That’s a little misleading.  The options are endless.  Maybe ABC Half:  “Just not good enough for the REAL ABC.”  Or, ABC Trying To Take a Dollar While Corrupting Our Youth “Seventh Heaven could only carry us so far.”

I might be being a little harsh.  Maybe I’m jumping the conclusion.  But your plots are not those of a family show.  Your situations are not ones that a child should be watching.  Your characters are not ones children should be aiming to be.  In today’s world, something needs to change.  I urge you to promote the change.

Thank you,

Personal and Family Information:
In his home, Beny helps by running errands. He lives with his father and his mother. His father is sometimes employed and his mother is sometimes employed as a church worker. There are 5 children in the family.

Beny is not presently attending school. Playing with cars and playing ball games are his favorite activities. He also attends church activities regularly.

11 To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. 12 The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.

13 “A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. 14 About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. 15 He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. 16 The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.

17 “When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! 18 I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, 19 and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’

20 “So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. 21 His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.^[a]’

22 “But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. 23 And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, 24for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.

25 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, 26 and he asked one of the servants what was going on. 27 ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’

28 “The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, 29 but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. 30 Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’

31 “His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. 32 We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”

Painting, building, sandbags, boarded up windows, I’m pretty sure some of those things aren’t 100% necessary but better safe than sorry, right?  It’s funny that if I want to get a dog the humane society would have to come look at my home to make sure it’s suitable, but to take a baby home all I have to do is install a car seat right. (Which the fire department will do for me.) Kind of weird how America works.

Well with that said, I’d like to say, sorry for not writing here.  I know you all look forward to it so much…….

right?

Anyway, I’ll try to write a little bit more when I have time.. What should I write about?

I’ve been so excited to get into this house.  Maybe too excited.  I have not, until today, taken a second to look backwards.  That little one bedroom, one bath apartment was our 1st home.  That is where we went on our wedding night, it’s where we’ve sat together, countless nights (Ok. they’re not countless, they’re very countable actually) watching T.V. or just talking to each other.  Heck, not to be too graphic, but that’s where we made a baby…  That’s where I got to know my wife. That’s where we found out she was pregnant together… That’s where we freaked out together… That’s where we dreamed together.

Today, I returned to the apartment to do some finishing touches, including painting over somethings Andrea had painted on the wall.  As I took that paint brush and ran it over the painting it hit me.

Everything hit me.  All at once.  Not just moving, but everything.  10 months ago, we started an adventure together.  Life.  Where we would go, we had no clue. (We even spoke of up and moving to Oregon at one point)  We moved into a one bedroom apartment that allotted us NO personal space.  We learned about each other.  We argued with each other(and when we argued, we had to work it out.. I couldn’t go anywhere and hide.)  We prayed with each other.  We grew to love each other more.  She became a wife, and I became a husband.  We created a life together, and we created a life together.  (I wrote that twice on purpose…. )

Now, She’s going to be a mom and I’m going to be a dad.  We’re going to be parents together.  She probably has a better connection with the reality of it.  The truth is.  I didn’t fully and probably… still don’t.    But it’s all starting to sink in.  In 6 weeks and 6 days, we will start another part of life together.  With someone else.  Someone who poops and cries a lot.  And the weird thing… I’m excited.

Why am I excited?  Well, because we’re gonna have a beautiful child.

Also though, because, we’re gonna be together.