Crazy Odd Weird News

Lives Needed

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Mon, 10 May 2010 17:19:00 +0000

Some people just can't be satisfied. Take the case of New Zealand lady Wendy McMahon, whose story appeared in stuff.co.nz.

Feeling "a bit peckish", Ms McMahon opened a can of pear halves and helped herself. When she went back for a second helping, she found this.

Instead of laughing (the normal response), she didn't merely slap her cheeks Home Alone-style and scream at this "demonic" pear. She took photos, contacted the media and listed it for public auction. She called the company and complained - and they weren't quite sure her claim was legit.

I can kinda understand that the company was skeptical about it. I mean, cmon, it does look like someone made it for a laugh. But despite the skepticism, the manufacturer offered not only to replace the pears - but they offered a $15 voucher.

And that should have been case closed, don't you think?

But no. This was Not Good Enough, dear readers.

When she got no answers, she called them again. In return, they asked that she give them the pear (which she did). McMahon was then offered a voucher for $30.

This was still Not Good Enough. She has demanded her pear back and claims the company's response is inadequate.

Seriously?

IT'S ONLY A PEAR.

My Saucepan is Too Small!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 22:09:00 +0000

An Australian book publisher has been left red-faced after one recipe slipped past the proofreader.

Penguin Group's "Pasta Bible" has been sent to the pulping machine after it emerged that the tagliatelle called for "salt and freshly ground black people".

7,000 copies were destroyed, but copies already delivered to bookshops will not be recalled, with a representative stating that it would be too difficult to do so.

I'd like to hope nobody starts a tantrum over this. Regardless of a person's colour, they'd have to have a fairly boring life to think this is worth getting upset about. After all, it's pretty funny to try and imagine ANY colour person fitting into a plate.

Thanks to the BBC

Mauno!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 00:05:00 +0000

A Finnish town is holding a festival which includes a search for the country's best tango singer. As part of their quest, hopefuls have recorded a video audition which the public can vote on, and the winners get to try their luck in front of the judges.

But when they put the idea together I'll bet the organisers never dreamed this would happen - the entrant currently in first place is absolutely, positively awful. His name is Mauno Hakkila, and not only is he WAY ahead in the votes, people are so determined to keep him at the top that the top five contestants begin with M, A, U, N and O - to spell out his name.

You can vote for him once per day by clicking Skip Advertisement and then Äänestä on the next page at http://linkb.com/FKZOQ

It's a Sign!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 20:36:00 +0000

It's a sign from God! And he's appearing so that he can tell you um... that um... well you should um... well, I suppose that you shouldn't fall asleep while there's stuff cooking on the stove. Mmmm, Bacon.

Jesus in the Frypan - Telegraph.co.uk

Don't Complain In Public...

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 08:22:00 +0000

...if you hate your mother-in-law, that is.

Sunda Croonquist is being sued by hers, for daring to make comments where her mother-in-law was the butt of the jokes. Croonquist is half-Swedish, half-African-American, was raised in a Catholic household and married a Jew, so she has plenty of raw material just in her cultural background alone. She says the family all laughed along at her routines in the past, presumably knowing it was all comedic license.

But her husband's family stopped laughing once the material appeared online. Apparently it's all very funny and absurd until your neighbours know she's talking about you.

My personal opinion? Croonquist has been doing these jokes for years. Just how many Jewish men are out there whose wives are Swede-African Catholics who converted to Judaism? Yup folks... their friends knew she was talking about them years ago. Why it took them so long to suddenly get offended is beyond me.

I think Croonquist sums it up well: if she had realised they would eventually sue her, she should have tried to make a worse first impression... a gold tooth, one pants leg rolled up, and saying, "Yo, yo, yo. Shalom, y'all. 'Sup?"

Keep Fido Away From Daisy

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sat, 22 Aug 2009 11:17:00 +0000

London farmers have issued a stern warning: Don't walk your dog near our cows.

But rather than a threat, it's a community service announcement. Apparently, people are being increasingly trampled by vicious cows protecting their calves. Dog owners in particular are more likely to be in danger, since the animals believe the dog might be threatening their young.

Their advice, if you must walk near cattle, is to let your dog off the lead. The cows aren't interested in the owner, only the dog.

Thanks to Reuters.

The New Pocket Twist...

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 12:57:00 +0000

I'm one of those people who subscribe to being "Alert but not alarmed". Yeah, thanks very much, John Howard. But anyway. When I'm out shopping, for example, my wallet never lives in my back pocket, and if it's in my bag then my bag will have a lock. I don't spend every moment looking for thieves, but I prefer not to lay out the welcome mat. Pickpockets are all over the world and you just never know.

But this lot in London have turned the tables. According to Reuters, 20 former pickpockets have turned over a new leaf and are now slipping money back into unsuspecting pockets.

It's being funded by a telecomms company as a way to brighten up a random person's day. But unfortunately I don't think they take requests...

Tea Time & Awesome ID

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 07:41:00 +0000

Q: If your husband shoots you in the head, what should you do? A: Go make a cup of tea for arriving police officers. http://linkbee.com/3PTD

The Idiot's Guide to stopping underage beer drinkers. http://linkbee.com/3PVF

Oh No, Not Again

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 23:00:00 +0000

I seem to recall a recent news article in which a would-be bank robber burst into a decidedly NON bank and demanded the staff give him the money from the (non-existent) safe. But hey, we all make mistakes, right? After all, if you don't realise it's not a bank, it's probably a spur-of-the-moment unplanned thing that just didn't work out.

But these guys have one-upped him soundly. The clowns who planned a robbery of the Royal Bank of Scotland branch in Macclesfield, UK, seem to have done a fair bit of homework and preparation. They armed themselves with tools, including a drill. They then broke into a flat above the bank, and pulled back the carpet, to make their way down through the bank's ceiling.

Unfortunately, they ended up in the empty office next door to the bank.

After making a second attempt from a different room in the flat, they gave up and fled empty-handed.

Perfectly executed, guys, all except the "correct location" thing. Or as my father would say, "The operation was a success, but the patient died."

Fine Dining

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 23:59:00 +0000

As drug testing gets more thorough, the crims get more creative in ways to escape detection when they're moving it across borders. Recently a man was arrested for having a leg cast made entirely of cocaine - but this latest story even outdoes that.

Spanish police have intercepted a 42-piece dinnerware set made entirely of compressed cocaine.

The elaborate disguise had been sent by registered delivery from Venezuela and contained more than 20 kilograms (45 pounds) of the drug, and was even glazed and painted blue with flowers.

A 35-year-old man has been arrested.

One Lucky Kid

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 23:57:00 +0000

A three-year-old boy in India has narrowly escaped death when he fell from a balcony and was impaled by a metal rod. Passing completely through his torso, it had not pierced any of his major organs.

Doctors were astonished to discover the child fully conscious on arrival. And amazingly, he had no major injuries. It took them four hours to remove the rod, but apart from bruising and blood loss, he was generally none the worse for wear.

You can see a pic here (warning, not for the squeamish): http://twitpic.com/2mjpd

A Match Made In, um, hrm...

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 23:26:00 +0000

Staff at the Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust in Sussex, UK have been left bemused recently, after failing to breed the rare New Zealand Blue Duck.

Their breeding couple, Jerry and Cherry, had ignored each other for years, so they decided to introduce a second male in the hope that he would take more interest in Cherry than Jerry had.

But onlookers were left scratching their heads when newcomer Ben only had eyes for the other male. Staff say they make a lovely couple, but it's thrown plans for breeding up in the air.

Now Cherry swims sadly by herself as the pair of gay drakes sing to each other and parade around the enclosure.

Don't Get Fresh!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 23:32:00 +0000

This isn't a very recent story but it still struck me as amusing.

A 71-year-old woman was found to be carrying a leather club (known as a blackjack) as she passed through security screening at Tampa Airport, Florida.

When questioned, she told them it was to "smack people's hands when they got fresh". That's the part that has me laughing.

DON'T GET FRESH WITH 71-YEAR-OLD LADIES! They might be carrying a weapon.

(Stick to getting fresh with 80-year-olds?)

Smarty's Learn To Drive School!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 23:52:00 +0000

Just imagine what went through the mind of a Cebu Pacific pilot recently on his arrival at Legazpi airport, in the Philippines.

Right as he touched down with 80 passengers on board, a van sped over the tarmac in front of him, directly across the path of the hurtling plane.

A local aviation official's son was teaching his girlfriend how to drive. At an airport. At a busy airport being used. On The Runway. AS A PLANE WAS LANDING.

The pilot pulled the plane's nose off the tarmac and managed to get the plane airborne for a go-around, landing safely the second time. The aviation official, who had presumably granted his son access to the airport, has been suspended from duty.

There is no word on whether the girlfriend has passed her driving test.

Overdue Bill

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sat, 11 Jul 2009 23:27:00 +0000

A German mathematician who died 450 years ago has been sent a letter demanding that he pay television license fees.

Germany's GEZ broadcast fee collection office sent the bill to the last home address of Adam Ries, an algebra expert who bought the house in 1525. Residents returned the letter with a note explaining Ries had died in 1559, centuries before the invention of television and radio. They nonetheless received a reminder a few weeks later.

Thanks to Reuters

Dumb Criminal

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 23:01:00 +0000

Hypothetical: Let's just pretend you were a prisoner. And if you were a prisoner, let's just pretend you were stupid enough to try and escape.

And if you were a prisoner and you were stupid enough to escape... what would you do next? I hear you: a chorus of "Run!" and "Hide!" and "Get the hell away from the prison!"

I now present Dumb Criminal Exhibit A: a 25-year-old prison escapee in Georgia, USA, was caught sneaking back into prison.

(dramatic pause)

Please retrieve your jaw from the ground and return it to its regular upright position.

Evidently, he only snuck out to steal some cigarettes. What I can't get my head around was this, though: Dude. You're OUT. You know, OUTSIDE the fence? Free and stuff! How is taking cigarettes back into your cell a better option?

BBC

What De Feo?

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 23:55:00 +0000

A soccer team in Milan, Italy, is causing headaches all round - because every single one of its players has the surname De Feo.

Not only that, its secretary, doctor, coach and 12 sponsors are also De Feos.

The team's home ground can be found on Raffaele De Feo Street.

The word is that the Guinness Book of Records might be interested. And locals have observed they won't run out of potential players in a hurry - the name is very common.

Pink Elephants Are Flying

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 23:44:00 +0000

Ok, not really, but a pink dolphin is swimming.

Yes, really. A unique albino bottlenose dolphin in Lake Calcasieu, Louisiana, has tourists swarming for a glimpse.

"Pinky" is believed to be the only pink dolphin in the world, and has "reddish" eyes. It is usually spotted with its dark grey mother.

There are only 14 other known albino dolphins in the world, all of them white.

Story and more photos: News.com.au

Travelling OOPS!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 23:31:00 +0000

When Samantha Lazzaris saved up for a holiday halfway round the world, she was careful about choosing the perfect destination.

However, it seems her travel agent exercised a little less care.

Instead of arriving at San Jose airport in Costa Rica, Central America, her plane landed in San Juan on the Caribbean island of Puerto Rico 1,300 miles away.

Read more at Mail Online

Darwin Award Nominee #2

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 23:18:00 +0000

A Russian man who was attempting to pleasure two women for 12 hours straight has died - because he had swallowed an ENTIRE BOTTLE of Viagra in order to do so.

28-year-old Sergey Tuganov had been offered a £3,000 bet by the two women, and took up the challenge. He apparently won the bet but minutes later succumbed to a heart attack.

The women called for an ambulance, but it was too late.

I suppose the money will pay for his funeral...

Unlucky!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 23:35:00 +0000

A man in Memphis, Tennessee, has lost three homes in a row to water and flames.

His first apartment was burned thanks to a gas leak. At his new apartment, organised by the landlord, a major electrical fault caused a fire which turned the entire building to ashes.

After bursting into tears, Davin Roberson was somehow able to appreciate that he was unharmed, and get on with life, while the Red Cross put him up in a hotel.

But within weeks the building lost its roof in a storm, so he found himself homeless yet again. He is now living with relatives and refusing to let it all get him down.

Time to buy a lottery ticket, Davin, your luck has to change sometime!

Worst Food Product Ever?

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 23:18:00 +0000

From ThisIsWhyYou'reFat (which despite the name, isn't a hate site, but a site filled to overflowing with weird and wonderful food combinations laden with enough kilojoules to give an elephant a heart attack).

Consumerist.com has helpfully pointed out that it also contains 1,170% of your daily allowance of cholesterol. Yum!

Cave Time!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 23:56:00 +0000

The latest in a long list of financial tragedies...

A couple from Missouri, USA has announced they can no longer afford their sprawling cave mansion and is putting the unique home up for auction on eBay. Come again?

This building is enormous and has to be seen to be believed. It has even hosted rock concerts in the past, including one featuring Ike and Tina Turner. The place is stunning - pity it's neither in my area nor budget!

Read More here or watch the video below.

Club Evicts Underaged Guest

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 23:56:00 +0000

An uninvited guest snuck into Wests Leagues Club, south-west of Sydney, just before midnight recently, and managed to evade staff for more than 24 hours.

Security footage shows a possum sneaking into the reception area and inspecting the fountain, before leading staff on a chase all over the club. It then hid in a wall cavity before emerging a day later.

The Club's General Manager, Tony Mathew, said, "We aren’t sure if it lived within the 15km radius and were concerned it may have been underage. We have a legal obligation to call the police if we are unable to get a patron to move on."

The most amusing part, to me, was when the guy was supposedly trying to usher it out the doors but he is so busy filming it with his mobile phone that the possum just does its own thing!

Tantrums Get Results!

noreply@blogger.com (Shannon) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 23:48:00 +0000

But in the case of a Romanian TV presenter, not always the results you're after.

When nobody called in with answers on her phone-in quiz show, she began to shout at the cameras, and when still nobody called, she smashed a phone on the ground, jumping on it and screaming maniacally.

It got her the attention she deserved - in the form of being fired. In addition, the country's TV watchdog fined the company for broadcasting violence, and the program is now restricted to the after-10pm adults timeslot.

See the video