Craig Rettig's Thoughts

Review: The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Mon, 09 Jul 2018 18:30:00 +0000

The Stench of Honolulu: A Tropical Adventure by Jack Handey
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Your enjoyment of this is dependent on how funny you used to find Mr. Handey's "Deep Thoughts" bits from SNL back in the day. This is probably the most joke-dense, but plot-thin books I've ever read.

Then again, I think that is supposed to be the point.

My advice would be to sample a few chapters on your ebook retailer of choice, and if you're not feeling it, don't waste any more of your time. If you're loving it, the rest of the book essentially follows the same pattern.

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Review: Jade Sky

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Mon, 04 Dec 2017 18:49:00 +0000

Jade Sky by Patrick Freivald
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I really enjoyed the ideas Freivald was playing with here. Dealing with super-science and its origins in this world can be tricky, but Freivald pulls off a nice balance between exploring the plot and the human elements.

For the most part, the action was solid and well-executed, although when things got more "weird" (I'm leaving it as such so as to not reveal the main twist), some of the bits were a bit hard to follow.

Overall, it's a fun read and recommended for fans of sci-fi action movies and/or anime.

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Review: Island of the Super People

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Wed, 02 Aug 2017 18:57:00 +0000

Island of the Super People by Kevin Shamel
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I've come to the conclusion that I only like the bizarro genre in theory. Generally speaking, the author has a neat "what if" idea that s/he wants to explore and attempts to have fun in that world.

In practice, however, the genre seems to have a template/formula that just doesn't work for me. The first third to half of the book involves a lot of description and exposition as it sets up the world. Once the plot is established, it runs in a relatively straightforward direction and ends either predictably or abruptly. I'm usually left shrugging and saying, "Well, that happened."

Island of the Super People is no exception, opting for the more predictable route. At the book's halfway point, I thought I knew exactly how the plot was going to unravel, and I was right.

Despite the negative points so far, I do have to give author Kevin Shamel credit on some well-written fight scenes. The action was clear and well-directed, with a good sense of timing and spatial awareness.

In summary, if you're expecting a deconstruction of the super-hero genre, such as the vastly superior Watchmen or Brat Pack, you're going to be disappointed. If you're familiar with and typically enjoy the bizarro genre and its tropes, then you might like this.

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Review: Hot in December

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 19:47:00 +0000

Hot in December by Joe R. Lansdale
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A fun (albeit light) tale about a man who witnesses a crime that puts him at odds with a local crime boss. While the story plays out mostly like you'd expect (You have seen at least one '80s action movie, right?), Lansdale has a breezy writing style, and it's an overall enjoyable affair. Just don't go into this expecting anything ground-breaking or mind-blowing.

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Review: The Blood Axe: Story of Viking Kings Knut & Olav

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Thu, 20 Jul 2017 22:38:00 +0000

The Blood Axe: Story of Viking Kings Knut & Olav by Eileene Harrison Beer
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This is essentially "embellished history" with the author adding imagined dialog, etc. to actual historical events. It's a light, breezy read. Although I don't know why it's called "The Blood Axe" when the titular item has little to no bearing on the actual story.

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Review: Iron Dawn

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Thu, 01 Jun 2017 18:30:00 +0000

Iron Dawn by Matthew Woodring Stover
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The book started out somewhat slow, but it had some good action scenes and character moments.

I also liked how it was set in an altered history, referencing various battles and such from pre-A.D. times and just adding magic or subtle changes to suit the story.

Overall, I recommend this to fantasy fans who want something more down-to-earth than your typical dungeon raids and dragon-slaying.

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Review: Tales from Beyond

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Sun, 16 Apr 2017 20:57:00 +0000

Tales from Beyond by Russell James
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Decent little anthology that should appeal to fans of "The Twilight Zone" and its ilk.

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Review: Badass: The Birth of a Legend: Spine-Crushing Tales of the Most Merciless Gods, Monsters, Heroes, Villains, and Mythical Creatures Ever Envisioned

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Thu, 13 Apr 2017 17:31:00 +0000

Badass: The Birth of a Legend: Spine-Crushing Tales of the Most Merciless Gods, Monsters, Heroes, Villains, and Mythical Creatures Ever Envisioned by Ben Thompson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I think I preferred the first book in the series (based on real-world people) more than this one, but Thompson's style is still an entertaining read.

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Review: The Bojeffries Saga

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Tue, 10 Jun 2014 18:11:00 +0000

The Bojeffries Saga by Alan Moore

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Imagine if a downplayed Addams Family/Munsters did a scathing societal satire of modern English (and to a lesser extent, most Western nations) society. In a rare instance of Alan Moore writing humor, "The Bojeffries Saga" is quite funny, even though I'm sure I missed a few England-centric references.

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Review: L.A. Noire: The Collected Stories

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Fri, 03 Jan 2014 03:47:00 +0000

L.A. Noire: The Collected Stories by Megan Abbott

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Some top-quality authors contributing to this anthology. Worth grabbing if you're a fan of crime/noir fiction.

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Review: Axe Cop: Volume One

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Wed, 01 Jan 2014 02:14:00 +0000

Axe Cop: Volume One by Malachai Nicolle

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Hilariously random and bizarre. I vaguely remember the days when I had a similar imagination. Who says everything gets better with age?

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Review: Hell Manor

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Wed, 18 Dec 2013 19:36:00 +0000

Hell Manor by Lisa Morton

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Although there were a few minor plot holes and some overly-omniscient narrator syndrome, the action flows pretty well, and the story itself is pretty engaging. Definitely worth the read.

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Review: The Wolf's Hour

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Thu, 17 Oct 2013 18:27:00 +0000

The Wolf's Hour by Robert R. McCammon

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This is an all-around, well-written tale. Even if it didn't have the werewolf bits, it would make for a good, WWII-era action/intrigue book. I did like McCammon's take on the supernatural bits, though, so this just made for a fun read.

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Review: Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Sat, 03 Aug 2013 20:26:00 +0000

Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies by James Marshall

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

This book is more or less an adolescent fantasy mixed with some social commentary. Our hero and titular pirate, Guy Boy Man, is trying to end human suffering with his seemingly limitless financial resources. However, things get a bit complicated when he meets BabyDoll15, who despite his legions of "hot female followers" gets under his skin in an unexpected way... and then the African-American ninja Sweetie Honey shows up. Whose side is he on, and will he kill Guy Boy Man? Read the book to find out...

While I enjoyed it for the most part, I started getting flashbacks of John Dies at the End at various points, and I'm one of those people who don't consider that a positive. Another annoying thing is the ending, or rather, the lack thereof. Apparently, this is part of a larger set of books, so the ending, while not a cliffhanger, still has some unresolved issues and that "To Be Continued..." feel.

However, the humor and satire do make up for these few negative points. So it ends up being a fun, light read with some social commentary thrown in for good measure. If that's what you're looking for, NVPFZ should hit the spot.

If you want something deeper, well, why would you be looking at a book with this title anyway?

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Review: The Mike Hammer Collection: Volume I

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 18:19:00 +0000

The Mike Hammer Collection: Volume I by Mickey Spillane

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Final novel in the collection is "Vengeance Is Mine!" Spillane's voice is really developed in this one, although I wasn't as enamored with the plot, which seemed unnecessarily complicated. 4/5

Overall, I really enjoyed this collection and am looking forward to getting into the subsequent collections as well.

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Review: The Death of Bunny Munro: A Novel

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Mon, 24 Jun 2013 12:08:00 +0000

The Death of Bunny Munro: A Novel by Nick Cave

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

If I could, I probably would bump this up to 3.5/5 stars. After traveling cosmetics salesman Bunny's wife commits suicide, he takes his son on the road with him, but has a difficult time keeping things together.

This was an audio book both written and narrated by Nick Cave. It gets a little weird and metaphysical in places, but overall was an enjoyable listen if you don't have a problem with a lecherous drunkard trying to deal with raising a son and the battle against his own pride. The ending was very touching, though.

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Review: Hard Time: 50 to Life

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 22:16:00 +0000

Hard Time: 50 to Life by Steve Gerber

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I'm usually a big fan of Mr. Gerber's, but this one, while not bad, wasn't one of his better tales. I haven't gotten around to reading the rest of the series yet, so I'm hoping the story gels more in future TPBs of the series.

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Review: Vampires Don't Sparkle!

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Thu, 02 May 2013 20:40:00 +0000

Vampires Don't Sparkle! by Michael West

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

As with all anthologies, there are going to be stories you enjoy more than others, but the majority of the stories in this book were enjoyable and a refreshing return to actual horror stories involving vampires.

Because some of the proceeds of the book's sales go towards cancer charities, this is definitely a worthy book to add to your collection.

On second thought... maybe not if your name is Bella.

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Review: The Pumpkin Child

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Wed, 01 May 2013 18:25:00 +0000

The Pumpkin Child by Nancy A. Collins

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Hollis Railsback can't catch a break to save his life. At his most desperate, he visits the local witch to change his luck. The spell works, and Hollis is living the good life. However, when he discovers one area of misfortune in his life ten years later, he compels the witch to perform another spell for him, despite her warnings to the contrary.

Nancy Collins is known for her visceral, gritty writing style, and this story is no exception. She has an excellent grasp of small-town Southerner speech patterns, and the motivations for each character are clearly defined.

If you're a fan of Tales From The Crypt-esque stories, you should certainly like this tale.

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Review: Darkness Weaves

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Fri, 26 Apr 2013 18:36:00 +0000

Darkness Weaves by Karl Edward Wagner

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Fans of Conan need to check this book out, as Wagner writes some brutal fight sequences and has a good imagination for multiple-person battle scenarios. There are also several decent subplots working in this book at all, which is surprising given its short length.

All in all, this is a tightly-written book that I really enjoyed.

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Review: Zeus, Inc.

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 18:50:00 +0000

Zeus, Inc. by Robin Burks

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Robin Burks's Zeus, Inc. is primarily an urban fantasy tale with some science fiction and mystery elements. Set in the near future, private investigator Alex Grosjean is hired by her friend Aliesha to find her missing father, the CEO of the titular Zeus, Inc. This turns out unlike any missing persons case Alex has ever worked before when she finds out there are some literal elements to the company's name and its missing leader.

Based on the author page, it appears the first draft of this novel was written during a National Novel Writing Month, meaning Burks pounded a near-200-page novel in thirty days or less. Unless some major rewrites occurred on subsequent drafts, Burks did an excellent job of setting up the plot. While it's not full of twists and turns, there are enough ebbs and climaxes to make for an enjoyable, light read.

A reader not expecting it may get taken aback when the story shifts from a sci-fi mystery to a fantasy drama, but this kept Burks from having to go too deep into all the scientific advances over the years. What I would have like a bit more of is why Alex preferred older technology to the latest and greatest gadgets. Part of me wonders if Burks did this simply to keep from having to speculate on future technology and keep the focus on the story.

As I said before, this was an enjoyable, light read. The language, adult situations, and violence are kept to a bare minimum, so this could be suitable for teen audiences, as it contains nothing you wouldn't see on prime-time television.

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Review: Death Metal

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 19:21:00 +0000

Death Metal by Armand Rosamilia

My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Daniel is a divorced man, fighting to see his daughter Missy as often as he can. His ex-wife, Karen, and he don't get along at all, and the fact that she is practically extorting money from him doesn't help. Daniel is secretly the driving force behind a dark heavy metal band, his career when he was heavily abusing drugs. Now, he is a respected children's book author, and he wants to keep those worlds separate.

However, some of his band's fans see hidden messages behind his music and books, and want him to continue preaching to them. When they kidnap his daughter to force him to produce new material, Daniel's world comes crashing down.

Rosamilla's novella tells a fast-paced tale jumping between the past and present, giving us a full history of Daniel's evolution from college burn-out to successful musician and writer. The dialog is snappy, and the plot directly to the point.

However, this directness is also this book's biggest negative. Due to the length, some of the various characters' motivations feel forced and/or rushed in places, making some of the plot twists appear to come out of nowhere. I feel if this book had been another 20-40 "pages" (I read this in eBook format), the sharp transitions would have felt more natural.

This book was a fun read, though, and I'd recommend it to fans of thrillers, especially if you're looking for a quick read between meatier material.

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Review: Shut Up and Give Me the Mic

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Wed, 20 Mar 2013 18:04:00 +0000

Shut Up and Give Me the Mic by Dee Snider

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

"Shut Up and Give Me the Mic" is the autobiography of one of the most outspoken personalities in rock and heavy metal and the frontman of Twisted Sister, Dee Snider. Unlike a lot of his other rocker peers, Dee didn't get into alcohol and drug abuse nor was he unfaithful to his wife during his time in the spotlight. With a laser focus on musical success, he and the rest of the band clawed, scraped, and dragged themselves to the height of popularity, only to have it all come crumbling down a few short years later.

Snider spends the majority of the book detailing Twisted Sister's rise to the top, mostly in the 1980-1985 years. Along the way, he details his relationship with his wife Suzette, who went above and beyond what most women would go through to see their husband succeed. Later, when Dee and Twisted Sister fell from grace *hard*, Snider realized that as long as his family was happy and healthy, that was all that really mattered.

While Dee is the first one to sing his own praises (he's an admitted megalomaniac), he also takes the vast majority of the blame for his fall from grace.

Despite being 400+ pages, this book reads surprisingly quickly. Dee's always had a way with words (just seek out the video where he speaks at the Senate PMRC hearings), and it shows here.

If you're a child of the '80s like me, this is a nice trip back Nostalgia Lane. It also has some insight into the music business which could be of some use for any up-and-coming musicians. Overall, this was a fun and educational read, and I recommend it for anyone who remembers that era or has an interest in music history.

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Review: The Gods of Mars

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Sun, 03 Mar 2013 20:01:00 +0000

The Gods of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Another fun romp, like the first one. For being written around the turn of the 20th Century, Burroughs has a pretty imaginative mind for sci-fi concepts and what were later to become tropes of the genre.

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Review: Blood & Sawdust

noreply@blogger.com (Craig) — Thu, 14 Feb 2013 19:41:00 +0000

Blood & Sawdust by Jason S. Ridler

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Note: This book was received for free from the author after his review inquiry.

Blood & Sawdust is an action-centric urban fantasy story that mixes the supernatural with a murder mystery and professional fighting. Malcolm is a young kid who's at the end of his ropes, until he comes across a professional underdog hiding a dark secret. Their plotlines converge, hijinks ensue, people die, and a bird becomes a major plot focus.

As I said above, this book contains some heavy action and Ridler has a good grasp on how fight scenes play out. The dialog gets a bit repetitive in places, but part of that might be the youth of the main character and the less-educated nature of some of the other characters, so this might have been a conscious choice by the author.

All in all, if you like brutal action scenes or have a fondness for combat sports, you'll probably find something to like in this book.

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