Craftastrophe

Good on Pastrami

suebob — Tue, 22 May 2012 23:10:22 +0000

Is that pink Swiss cheese around your neck, or did your scarf get eaten by very large, precise termites?

The title lists “prom wedding bridesmaid.”

Imagine:
1. What a social outcast you would be if you wore this to prom
2. What the wedding would look like where this was fashionable. There would be juggling, I’ll bet.
3. How pissed your bridesmaids would be if you forced them to wear this. Unless they were juggling.

{Source} $23 but you’ll have to get your bridesmaid shoes dyed to match.

H/T to alert reader Schmutzie

Not the same, but still fun:

There Be Dragons

suebob — Sat, 19 May 2012 13:50:36 +0000

When I saw this, I yelled “NOOOOOOOO!” This stuff is not coming back, is it? Look, I lived through the 1960s (well, I was a little kid) and it WAS NOT PRETTY. Do not go back there, kids. I beg of you. Those fashions are what made people use all those drugs. They did it to forget.

{Source} Only $6 but you are legally required to wear Patchouli oil if you put this on your head.

Not the same, but still fun:

Holy Snacksifix

suebob — Thu, 17 May 2012 23:53:19 +0000

Not for use in exorcisms unless you want the demons to laugh at you.

{Source} $25, eternal salvation not included

Not the same, but still fun:

Need a Hug?

suebob — Thu, 17 May 2012 13:06:50 +0000

Come here, give me a hug. A BIG hug.

{Source} $21 I’l buy – but you owe me a sushi dinner

Not the same, but still fun:

You Felt What?

suebob — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:02:36 +0000

When I said I wanted some jewelry that was ladylike, this wasn’t what I was thinking.

Felt ~~Vagina~~ Vulva Brooches

Here they are! These felt brooches are all one of a kind and unique, no two are alike (just like real vaginas!).

Thanks to alert BlogMother Karen for this one.

{Source} $5.00 Australian. Because of course they come from down under.

Not the same, but still fun:

I Don’t Think That’s a Dog…

suebob — Mon, 14 May 2012 22:30:43 +0000

Um, what?

Rhodesian Ridgeback pendant made like my wife said to.No two are alike(hand made).Convo me for special requests.Roki Shoals ridgeback(sofa sluts) used for models.They will lay w/anyone.

Ok, so THIS explains everything.

{Source} $35 and a lifetime of explaining to do.

Not the same, but still fun:

What to wear on the second date if you don’t want a third

suebob — Thu, 10 May 2012 13:00:39 +0000

Barbie shoes bracelet. In festive colors.

{Source} $12 and you’ll be home in time for Game of Thrones.

Not the same, but still fun:

“But you SAID…”

suebob — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:57:58 +0000

Stalker invitation pantyhose.

{Source} $23 plus filing costs for the restraining order.

Not the same, but still fun:

Get a job. No, a better job.

suebob — Tue, 08 May 2012 22:34:25 +0000

Fingernail hoarding box, topped with real fingernails.

I am a man who has reached his last resort of selling fingernails on the internet. With your generosity, I am hopeful that a man armed with a heap-o-debt, a low to average level of intelligence, and no marketable skills, can achieve the American Dream armed only with a spark of creativity and a soul overflowing with weirdness.

{Source} $1776. No, seriously.

Not the same, but still fun:

Were you in an industrial accident, or are you getting married?

suebob — Mon, 07 May 2012 17:37:11 +0000

These were featured on Etsy’s home page:

Bridal mittens? They look like these wrist guards I used to wear when my carpal tunnel syndrome was acting up. Of course, mine were “flesh” (if you’re a kind of dark tan white person) colored and involved more velcro, but still remarkably similar.
{Source} $65. But they are made in France, so totally worth it.