Craftastrophe

Here’s Hoping Santa Doesn’t Visit You This Year

suebob — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 16:03:35 +0000

At least, I hope THIS Santa doesn’t visit. Because this Santa is creeeeepy.

{Source} $390 but that’s what you pay when you buy art and not some normal-looking Santa from Target for $29.99, you philistine.

Not the same, but still fun:

Earie

suebob — Sat, 22 Dec 2012 16:07:14 +0000

I know we’re supposed to live and let live, and not question other people’s lifestyle choices. And yet sometimes I cannot stop myself.

I’m ok with a lot of things, but I just can’t endorse an elfin lifestyle. Sorry.

{Source} $8, a small price to let your freak flag fly.

Not the same, but still fun:

Horrendous Skin Condition, or Fashion Statement?

suebob — Fri, 21 Dec 2012 21:35:07 +0000

I’m just sad because I think the Christmas shipping cutoff date has passed:

{Source} $268, or 5 cents per fake pearl.

Not the same, but still fun:

I’m Afraid the Janitor Swept Up Your Valuable Art

suebob — Mon, 17 Dec 2012 16:24:11 +0000

This kind of makes me long for the days when sculpture meant some dead general on a horse in the plaza:

{Source} $100,000, though you could probably talk them down to $99,995 if you work it hard enough.

Not the same, but still fun:

The Most Memorable Gift

suebob — Fri, 14 Dec 2012 14:48:03 +0000

If you want to give a Christmas present that no one will ever forget you gave…

{Source} $1195. I cannot complain.

Not the same, but still fun:

Put Some Pants On

suebob — Wed, 12 Dec 2012 04:51:17 +0000

No, do NOT elf yourself. And if you do, put some dang pants on. Yeesh.

{Source} $60 pants extra

Not the same, but still fun:

There are Cheaper Ways to Piss Off Your Cat

suebob — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 14:34:44 +0000

In fact, this whole shop could be called “Ways to Make Your Cat Hate You.”

{Source} $100 and you’ll be cleaning poop out of your shoes for a year.

Not the same, but still fun:

Double Trouble

suebob — Sat, 08 Dec 2012 17:15:21 +0000

I don’t often feature the same craftsperson on consecutive days. But this is too good to resist for the Anti Gift Guide. Tis the season – fall on your knees and behold the glory of the…

Otter Penis Necklace

The guy only has 7 items in his shop, and two are standout Craftastrophes. Nice work, Mountain Bill. Well played.

{Source} Only $25. And that’s the lowest price you’ll see on an otter penis necklace today, I’m pretty sure.

Not the same, but still fun:

And Not In A Good Way

suebob — Fri, 07 Dec 2012 17:01:57 +0000

From the listing:

This hat is sure to get you noticed.

It’s a hat. Made of a bobcat. With the little dead bobcat face up front, right over your face. I suppose you can file that under “If that doesn’t get you noticed, nothing will.”

{Source} $285, a small price to pay to let the world know what a freak you are

Not the same, but still fun:

People even sicker than we are

suebob — Thu, 06 Dec 2012 16:54:17 +0000

One of my sick readers sent me a link to a wonderfully sick site – here’s the post I was sent for obvious reasons – who can resist solid chocolate baby heads in realistic death-mask like colors?

But these people take cake art to new and horrifying depths. Forget the days of buttercream and roses. No. Go browse the archives if you’re in the mood for lifelike maggots and STD awareness. Horrible. And wonderful. All at the same time.