Craftastrophe

You Felt What?

suebob — Wed, 16 May 2012 13:02:36 +0000

When I said I wanted some jewelry that was ladylike, this wasn’t what I was thinking.

Felt ~~Vagina~~ Vulva Brooches

Here they are! These felt brooches are all one of a kind and unique, no two are alike (just like real vaginas!).

Thanks to alert BlogMother Karen for this one.

{Source} $5.00 Australian. Because of course they come from down under.

Not the same, but still fun:

I Don’t Think That’s a Dog…

suebob — Mon, 14 May 2012 22:30:43 +0000

Um, what?

Rhodesian Ridgeback pendant made like my wife said to.No two are alike(hand made).Convo me for special requests.Roki Shoals ridgeback(sofa sluts) used for models.They will lay w/anyone.

Ok, so THIS explains everything.

{Source} $35 and a lifetime of explaining to do.

Not the same, but still fun:

What to wear on the second date if you don’t want a third

suebob — Thu, 10 May 2012 13:00:39 +0000

Barbie shoes bracelet. In festive colors.

{Source} $12 and you’ll be home in time for Game of Thrones.

Not the same, but still fun:

“But you SAID…”

suebob — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:57:58 +0000

Stalker invitation pantyhose.

{Source} $23 plus filing costs for the restraining order.

Not the same, but still fun:

Get a job. No, a better job.

suebob — Tue, 08 May 2012 22:34:25 +0000

Fingernail hoarding box, topped with real fingernails.

I am a man who has reached his last resort of selling fingernails on the internet. With your generosity, I am hopeful that a man armed with a heap-o-debt, a low to average level of intelligence, and no marketable skills, can achieve the American Dream armed only with a spark of creativity and a soul overflowing with weirdness.

{Source} $1776. No, seriously.

Not the same, but still fun:

Were you in an industrial accident, or are you getting married?

suebob — Mon, 07 May 2012 17:37:11 +0000

These were featured on Etsy’s home page:

Bridal mittens? They look like these wrist guards I used to wear when my carpal tunnel syndrome was acting up. Of course, mine were “flesh” (if you’re a kind of dark tan white person) colored and involved more velcro, but still remarkably similar.
{Source} $65. But they are made in France, so totally worth it.

Not the same, but still fun:

Things Not to Put in Your Carry-on Baggage

suebob — Sun, 06 May 2012 16:01:55 +0000

Soap on a rope, or airport-clearing novelty item?

Also handy for giving the combat veterans in your life a jolt of PTSD.

{Source} $10 and several years in a Supermax prison

Not the same, but still fun:

Friends Don’t Let Friends Be Humiliated

suebob — Sat, 05 May 2012 14:07:50 +0000

Whether it’s a first birthday or a 50th birthday all birthdays are special. Why not make it extra special with a keepsake party hat.

Because if you do, I will kill you. That’s why.

Middle age is full of its own humiliations. I don’t need anyone to add to them. Yes, I’m cranky. That’s one of the enjoyable parts about getting older.

{Source} $24.95 and your imminent death.

Not the same, but still fun:

Riiiiiight

suebob — Fri, 04 May 2012 14:00:19 +0000

One way to tell the world that there’s no way you’re over him?

{Source} $4. I recommend a spa weekend with your besties instead.

Not the same, but still fun:

Audience Poll

suebob — Wed, 02 May 2012 13:15:53 +0000

Cute, or creepy?

{Source} $17, and the chance that you will forget the baby outside in a tree and will have to deal with Child Protective Services for the next 5 years.