I watched as each participant relaxed and realized that it was really just fine not to know what was going on back at home every single hour of the day. Giving up constant control is an exercise in delegation and trusting others – two thing most small business owners have a hard time doing. Giving up instant access to information flow is an exercise in focusing on the true thing rather than the minutia.

Faced with uncharacteristic freedom to breathe and be, our group dove into the fresh air of a slower pace, a small community of listeners, and a supportive group. As we occupied our hands with paper, glue, and ink our hearts opened to share our current stories. We strategized on topics from growing new employees to facing health problems to tax reduction strategies to delegating. We practiced collaboration (the best business model there is for today’s business owner) as we shared supplies and creative ideas. We deepened our knowledge of each other’s characteristics and skills – things we can draw on now that we are back into our normal world. We learned that quiet and space is necessary for our sharpest thinking on key issues. We fed our body, minds, and souls in ways that benefit us both personally and in business.

No matter how busy and involved you are, the world actually will function without your oversight and input. It is a good growth experience for you and for those you leave behind. Quarterly retreats are a part of my business plan, and I strongly suggest them to you. Give yourself (and everyone else) a break. Plan a few days away, and watch your focus sharpen as you relax. Just another tool to help your business thrive!

As an entrepreneur, you can’t afford to pull the emergency chute and escape when a customer has gotten under your skin.  Here’s a few ways to avoid “pulling the chute” and blowing up your work with a customer who has gotten on your very last nerve.

1. Remove yourself from the on-going drama by stepping away, but don’t go so far as to pull the emergency chute.  If you’re in person, excuse yourself and go to the back of the room, the restroom, or the other end of the table.  The key here is to physically move before you feel so threatened that in that moment you literally will do ANYTHING to get away, no matter the consequences.  If you are on the phone, you can use your emergency exit script, which should go something like this, “I want to settle this disagreement in a way that is respectful to us both, but I can’t do that right now.  I’m going to hang up to give myself time to think objectively, and I’ll be back in touch.  Goodbye.”
2. Close your mouth. By the time you’re totally over it, what comes out of your mouth won’t be anything worth repeating.  I suspect that once Slater held forth, he got to a point that he realized his only way out was the chute.  One way to stop talking is to train yourself to take a sharp, deep breathe in through your nose, and blow it out through your mouth.  You can’t breath  like this and talk at the same time.  Really, you can’t – try it!  When you are appalled and angry, it’s natural to sharply take in your breath.  So you’re going to do that anyway.  Just train yourself to blow that breath out through your mouth, like a big “ha”. Breathing out a big “ha!” instead of giving voice to a string of words that escalate the situation (no matter they may be well-deserved), protects you.  It keeps you from getting to the point that you feel threatened, which is when your reptile brain takes over and common sense goes out the door.  Do this, and you’ll find that after the first sharp inhale and “ha” exhale, the second and third are much easier.  You probably won’t need more than 3 or 4.  Your head will clear, you’ll feel calmer, and your brain will be refreshed by the new and better oxygen supply.
3. Decide later where to go from here.  It may be that you will want to fire this customer from your business.  I don’t preach not to fire customers, although some marketing experts will advise against it.  I understand why, because negative word of mouth about an entrepreneur typically spreads faster than positive word of mouth.  But I’m hoping that you’ve already carried out the first two steps, and that puts you on an entirely different path.  Along with removing yourself and closing your mouth, you’ve created better options than blowing up and disappearing down a sliding chute. You now have time to think objectively about whether to end the relationship.  Let’s say that you are so turned off that you never want to sell to this customer again.  You’ve now positioned yourself to “save it but end it” rather than blowing it to tiny pieces.  You can end it in a way that respects both you and the customer, and that will likely prevent the customer carrying out a negative word of mouth campaign.  Your goal is to end the relationship without hurting your business, and deciding later helps you to do that. Everyone cools off, and a space opens up for better possibilities than ending it with drinks in hand, heading southward toward hard concrete and jail time.

It’s wise to have an emergency plan in place in case you’re ever carrying out business in a small space with someone who pushes your button.  Remove yourself, close your mouth, and decide later are three actions that keep you in control of your emotions, your actions, and your business.  Unlike Slater, you won’t be instantly famous, and your entrepreneurial endeavor will be safe.

If you get a comment or complaint, and then you choose to defend your actions, you are standing in a place of refusing to consider change.  That reaction is always, 100% of the time, fear based.  You don’t build a great life or a great business based on fear.  And your customer, seeing that you defend instead of look with curiousity and openness about the comment, will simply walk away.  

Here are three ways to actually INCREASE your business when you get a comment or flat-out criticism of your work.

1. Don’t react with “that’s the way we have always done it.”  No one cares about how you’ve always done it, they care that what you did didn’t completely do the job they wanted done.  In the moment that the client (or customer) says something you did for her didn’t quite work, prick your ears up like a dog on point.  You have someone offering you FREE comments on your own work procedures that, with a little bit of thought, can more than likely improve what you do and increase your customer satisfaction.  Try saying, “Oh, I appreciate your comment about that.  Can you tell me more?”  And listen up!  You’ll probably keep that customer, and she’ll be so shocked at your positive reaction to her comment that she’ll tell two others who will do business with you, too.
2. Don’t react with a long-winded explanation (or even worse, e-mail) about WHY you did what you did and how long everything you did took.  Your customer doesn’t want to listen to your defense of what you did.  She wants you to get that she doesn’t completely perceive the value of what she got for the money she invested.  There are only two answers to this concern.  One is that you actually did charge too much money for her to ever feel she got a good result for what she spent.  The second is that you didn’t communicate effectively the full monty (so to speak) of what you actually were going to do, and a part of it is not something your customer values.   Your goal is to have your customers saying “that was worth every single penny” not “well, I got the job done but it cost twice what I thought it ought to cost.”  Once someone thinks that about your work, making them listen to or read a long explanation about why you did what you did will NOT solve the problem.  You’ll lose the customer and the word of mouth referrals.
3. Don’t react to a critical comment by building even more policies and operating procedures to further justify the way in which you work.  The one big advantage that entrepreneurs and solo professionals have over the big guys is that we are nimble.  We can make or break our own rules right in the moment, and sometimes we should do just that.  If you try to build a policy or procedure to handle every stinking little thing that ever gets commented on you will soon be spending most of your waking hours either writing the rules, defending the rules, expanding the rules, or explaining the rules.  None of this time builds your business.

Once a few years ago I worked with a massage therapist who had a rule that her clients had to show up a full 15 minutes before their massage time.  This was a rule she implemented in a foolish attempt to make sure her clients were never late and never impacted her schedule.  Notice that I used the word “foolish” just now?  The rule came into being because one weekly client always showed up ON TIME but then spent 10 minutes of her hour-long massage hitting the restroom, getting a drink of water, and precisely folding her clothes before hopping on the massage table.  In reaction to this ONE client, the foolish “15 minute rule” was implemented on EVERY client.  Don’t make a new rule, instead face the problem with the client head on and deal with it only where it makes sense to deal with it.  See, not wanting to talk to the offending client was fear.  The new “rule” went into effect so that this massage therapist could avoid facing her fear of talking straight out to this client.  She could mutely point to “the rule.”  Except, as I’m sure you have figured out, it didn’t work.  The offender still messed around when she got there and everyone else complained about the new rule and left.  Enough said!

When entrepreneurs defend against comments or criticisms they run the risk of  leaving thousands of dollars on the table.  This makes me sad.  Take your customer comments as little gems, go off and sit with them, and evaluate your mindset and your work.  Thank your stars that someone cares enough to comment instead of just silently walking away from you and your business.  That’s a sure path to success.

Question: Do you take orders over the phone?

Answer: We can take orders over the phone, but we go through the same account creation process that you would go through yourself over the Internet.  If you want to phone in your order, we will be happy to help you, but you can do it all from the comfort of your own pc as well!

I don’t know about you, but as a customer I’d rather have a “hell, no!” than two “yes, buts” in one answer.  It’s obvious from the answer that the business REALLY wants their customers to go order by themselves on the Internet, right?  But some unwise person in the customer service department tried to wiggle around the answer and ends up sounding off-putting and weaselly.  This answer also comes off sounding like the business doesn’t REALLY want to be bothered taking your order over the phone.  Do you feel welcome to call in an order after you read their answer?  I doubt it!

Entrepreneurs need to be mindful of how they say things to customers.  Here are two ways to handle this that would built customer loyalty and sound a lot more welcoming to the person who asked the question.

1. We offer full-service ordering right from your home computer that is easy to use and available 24/7, even when we’re home in bed.  We love talking to our customers by phone, we just don’t want you to have to wait if our phone lines are all busy.  To talk to us directly, call XXX-XXX-XXXX.  To place a “never-have-to-wait” order online, go to www.xxxxxxxxx.com.
2. We’ve stopped taking orders by phone and gone to a full-service online ordering system for two reasons.  First, you never have to wait to place an order, day or night.  And secondly, we decided to eliminate our phone order takers so that we could keep our prices steady.  Still, if you ever have a problem with ordering, you can reach customer service online at customerservice@email.com OR call us at XXX-XXX-XXXX.  You might have a wait getting someone live on the phone, but we’ll help you quickly once you reach us.

I was appalled when I read this Q&A in an actual, real e-zine I received this morning.  While it wasn’t my question (I’m definitely an online order person, LOL!) I pretty much know that the woman asking the question won’t feel any warm fuzzies toward this business.  This kind of “yes-but-really-no” answer is called defensive posturing.  Defensive posturing NEVER helps build customer relationships.  I see small business owners and solo professionals fall into defensive posturing often, but I just know you are a smart entrepreneur and would never, ever do this.  Right?

Here’s the deal….it’s your job to satisfy the hunger in others to have their problem solved.  You have to use language that is emotional, not logical.  People buy on emotion 100% of the time.  They then justify what they have bought with logic.

This is why talking about the features of what you offer makes their eyes glaze over.  They DON’T care that your jewelry is 100% sterling silver and comes with a year long guarantee.  They DO care that your jewelry will make them feel sexy and pretty when they have been feeling tired and ugly.  They care that your jewelry will get them an admiring glance from a husband who hasn’t notice them very much lately.

So, if you want to create sales, create hunger.  Tell a story about what your jewelry has done for someone.  Show pictures of smiling women wearing your stuff.  Demonstrate how someone can place that necklace just SO and it will match their come-hither look.  If you can show someone that your stuff creates what they crave then you will make money and even better, your customers will be happy because their problem is solved.

Here’s how to create sales conversations or sales copy that creates hunger:

• Talk about your customer, not you
• Offer clear contrast (before/after or with/without or fast/slow)
• Use tangible examples “more dates, more desire, unbreakable”
• Talk about the beginning and the end only (before/after) don’t talk about the PROCESS that happens in the middle (you choose jewelry, you wear jewelry….not what the order process is like in between)
• Use visual stimuli (pictures) which creates interest 40 times faster than hearing does.

Changing your conversations or sales copy to solve what your customers are hungry for will feed them and you.  That kind of satisfaction is just as good as the satisfaction you feel after a good meal, and lasts longer!

I am a big believer in personal retreats, and I’m a big believer in putting your time and money out on the line to have the opportunity to hear about other people’s businesses, to starkly state what is going on with your own business, to get challenged and called on your stuff, and to get the wonderful amalgamation of ideas, resources, and help from each other.  In a good group, there is bare honesty.  There is no time for positioning or fakey stuff.  In fact, a good group will catch you and call you before you even half-way get the dishonest or fake stuff out of your mouth.  I’m blessed many times over to be in this group.  We know each other, like each other, trust each other, and love each other too much to let any one of us get away with being less than we are called to be.

So, yesterday, it just happened that we had a magical day.  Everyone was thirsty for the day, everyone is facing honking big personal challenges, everyone is stepping up to a much bigger vision of themselves and their business.  Let me say that again.  In order to step up to the vision you have for your business, you will be challenged to step up and handle your personal stuff.  You cannot do one without the other. And a good Mastermind group will hold you to both, knowing that you can’t be half-assed about your growth.  It is worth every penny I pay, the time away from business, the plane fare to do this.  Seven other people have my back, and at the same time are asking me, “What in heck are you doing THAT for?”

I just love being in a room with people who will put it right out there on the table, no matter what, who have this truly deep commitment to exposing their thoughts and plans and visions and are willing to take the suggestions even if they are rigorously proposed.  We all are kind, but we say it as we see it and we challenge each other.  There is laughter but there are tears, too.

I’m honored to know these people, to sit in the same room with them.  I love their brightness and their willingness to put it out there, to create something out of nothing but their own vision, which is often felt as a calling.  It fed me.  The more experienced I get in life and in business, the harder it has become to find places that feed me.  In this group we get it that when we talk about our work, we talk about our soul at the same time.  The two begin to merge until one’s work is literally a part of one’s spiritual practice.  This group understands that.  And that’s why I pay with my money and my time, and will fly anywhere to sit with these people.

I’m truly excited to be the creator and visionary of my own work, and I love more than anything to sit with others who are creating work from their own inner visions.  I see a group of new, energetically savvy, intuitive-based entrepreneurs that is emerging rapidly to help solve the many issues that face us.  For me, it was delicious to have a day of talking and listening.  Sometimes, words didn’t matter, it was the energy, the vibration, the vibe in the room .  This group gets it that there is no standing still and no status quo.  Even if it upsets them, or scares them, they step up.  Their brightness is amazing.  You can hardly get a sentence out and 4 other people are nodding and taking off on the tail of it, enlarging and supplementing and feeding it back with new ideas.  There are no blank stares and “let me think about that.”  It is quick, lots of movement, energy flying.  Everything is noticed.

I pay for what I learn, the support I get, the opportunities I have to support others, the challenges I’m given.  I pay to stretch myself and get out of my own head.  All truly successful solo professionals do this.  We don’t whine about the money, we cough it up and we come out to play.  It’s like putting your life and your business on super-oxygen for a day.  At the end you have a zillion ideas and resources, but you’re kind of gasping for breath.  Those of you reading this post who are in the group, thank you.  I can’t wait until September when we see each other again.

Websites can do this, too.  In fact, to work well for you, your website MUST do this.  You need eye candy, just like the stores at the mall.  Large retailers who have online presences now (and who doesn’t) try mightily to get you to look at their windows virtually.  If you buy a Sketcher shoe, for example, when you check out online Sketcher will offer to e-mail you once a week and let you know the newest Sketcher styles.  So will Cole Haan.  (Can you tell I like shoes, LOL?).  You can do the same thing with your e-zine and autoresponders, too.

But first, let’s give each page of your website the acid test.  These three very important questions came up in a conversation I had the other day with Michael Port, a friend who can safely be called a marketing guru (in fact, the Wall Street Journal DOES call Michael a marketing guru).  I’ve been pondering these ever since we talked, and I suggest you ponder, too!

1. Who is coming to this website page?
2. What do you want the person to do on this page?
3. How are you going to get the person to do it?

Pithy questions, huh?  I’d also add “What is this page title and why?”

Give each of your web pages this acid test.  I’ll just bet that, like me, you’ll be planning some page changes.  Which is as it should be, because, remember, your website is never done. 

Let’s consider Patty, who had an asthma attack when she was 10 years old after being near some cigar smoke.  (This is not a made up story, by the way.)  Patty never wanted that to happen again.  The feeling of her throat closing up and her muscles straining for oxygen scared Patty, as it would most of us.  Way back then, something in herself or in her environment pointed Patty into fear that never has been let go of.  She could have been scared over the asthma attack but, with reassurance, let it go.  Instead, Patty set out to control her environment and make sure that never happened to her ever again.

By the time Patty was 16, she had opted out of summer camps for fear of being around camp fire smoke.  At 17, she decided not to take her senior trip because she knew some of her class would sneak a smoke on the back of the bus.  In college, she didn’t join a sorority and she roomed alone, fearful that she would be around sorority sisters who would smoke.  

By the time Patty was 30, she had limited herself from ever wearing perfumes, ever having fresh flowers or live plants of any kind in her home, or using candles.  Her limiting belief that she would have another asthma attack had spread from fear of smoke to fear of any odor at all, good or bad.  Her constant statement was that she was “highly allergic” and had to stay away from people, places, and things that might set off an asthma attack.  By now, that attack was 20 years old, but the limiting belief that she could control it ever happening again paralyzed her.

Patty is smart.  She earned a college degree and then got a Master’s degree.  But she studied for her Master’s online and at home, for fear of being out in the world.  She worked for a small firm for many years, limiting her income, because she knew that the other 3
people would cater to her fears, agreeing to forego fresh flowers, perfume, smoking.

I could go on with this story, for Patty is now almost 60 years old and I still see the many ways she has limited her income and her personal life with the limiting belief that smelling any odor at all will set off another attack.  She has lived her life for 50 years in fear of something that happened only once, and in the belief that she can control it ever happening again.

Maybe you are shaking your head in disbelief.  The thing is that we ALL do this.  Perhaps we limit ourselves in more subtle, less dramatic ways.  But then again, perhaps not.  Here’s a quick exercise for you.  Sit down right now and list out all the things you have passed on in your business, for fear they would not work out.  Give yourself five full minutes to really think about the things you’ve said no to, and why.  I’d bet if you shared this list with a friend or your biz coach you’d realize that your past experiences have limited your current success in ways that you never even realized!  The question for you today is this…..how has refusing to let go of old experiences and beliefs cost you money?

In a few weeks, I’m interviewing neuroscientist Sandi Smith, who is an expert at seeing how our fears block our fortunes.  You are welcome to join in on the call, to register (it’s free) click here.

Osborne’s big mistake was to introduce a new piece of technology before it was available for purchase.  Tech buyers will immediately cease to buy an older model and wait for the newer one once the word gets out…if you don’t have it ready to sell, your sales plummet.  This became such a famous case study that it is still known today as the Osborne Effect.

It is always wise to forego advertising a new model until the model actually exists for purchase?  It depends on your industry.  The movie industry always advertises new movies before they are released, looking to drive up the buzz and make big hits at the box office on opening day.  But that’s a different biz model, because they’ve typically already squeezed sales out of the previous releases long before the new movie is out.  (Think Harry Potter or James Bond.)

Generally, though, if you sell a product (jewelry, luggage, clothing, air conditioners, etc.) you don’t want to get stuck with a lot of existing inventory because you have started to market a “new, improved” version of the same thing.  And you don’t want your sales of existing inventory to tank when word gets out that in a few months the “new, improved” version will be available.  A few months can be a long time to wait for cash flow!

Think about your own products and be aware of the Osborne Effect.  Plan wisely for releases of newer “models” of what you sell, and don’t create a thirsty crowd if you don’t have something to sell them.  Osborne eventually declared bankruptcy.  You and I can learn from his mistake.

The same thing happens virtually, too.  Here’s a recent experience that killed a sure sell.  I like a certain brand of cross stitch patterns, which are impossible to find locally (barrier to a sell).  So I went on line to the company in search of what I wanted and ended up finding 5 patterns and a kit I’d like to buy (in other words, I upsold myself, LOL!).  But, there was no shopping cart on the website, which led me to believe the company didn’t make direct sales to customers (another barrier to sell).  So, I used the “contact us” form and sent a message, asking about what I wanted to purchase.

Three days went by (yet another barrier to sell, and forever in Internet-land) and I got a reply.  The company “prefers” to send customers to local stores but “will” sell from their site.  I e-mail back, giving my ZIP code and stating that I don’t believe there are local stores who carry their product.  The company writes back and gives me Memphis (400 miles away) and Johnson City (120 miles away).  I write back and explain those are too far to go for $30.00 worth of cross stitch supplies.  They write back and give me a total for what I wish to purchase, then add that they “don’t do Paypal, will take a credit card by phone since they have no shopping cart, and that there is a flat shipping fee no matter if you spend one dollar or a hundred dollars.”

I’m already thinking “I can’t complete this order by Internet, I’m going to have to wait until they are open (different time zone) and remember to call with a credit card number in between appointments in my busy day.”  That’s another barrier to a sell.  But wait!  In an effort to be helpful, the company’s owner points out that their brand new stitching patterns will be released in only about a week, and since there is a flat fee for shipping, perhaps I would want to wait and include some of the new releases in my order.  (She gets points for upselling me even more than I have already upsold myself.)  I’m excited and e-mail back, saying that if she will let me know when the new releases are on the website, I’ll check them out, select what I want, add it the the stuff I already want, and call them with a credit card number.  We’re cooking with gas now!

And then…..I hear back with a terse note, “You can only imagine how busy we are when new releases come out.  You need to put a note in your own tickler file to keep checking back to the website and then contact us again.”  Whooaaaaaaaa there, Nelly.  That stitching company just lost a sell of existing product plus a sell of new releases.  I understand she is busy, but guess what, so am I!  Basically, after I’ve spent an entire week trying to buy something from this company I get a note telling me that HER time is more valuable than MY time.  Well, that might be true but a customer doesn’t want to hear that, do they?  She’s got the product, I’ve got the money.  Seems to me that a sell might be worth HER putting ME in her tickler file.  

Putting the “burden to purchase” back onto the consumer never works.  Consumers will forget, never get around to it, or, like me, plain just get peeved at having to chase the sell.  Consumers don’t want to chase sells.  That is YOUR responsibility as the seller.  I’ve already wasted enough time trying to talk this company into selling to me.  I’m not going to keep it up, there are a zillion stitch patterns in the world and I can certainly live without these.  It never works to tell a customer “I’m too busy to keep up with you.”  If dentists did that, no one would ever come in for teeth cleaning every six months like clockwork, would they?  Not to mention the mammogram thing……

A great customer service department would integrate seamlessly with the marketing department.  The company’s website would have captured my name and e-mail address (it didn’t) and send me a note saying “Hey!  Our new patterns are just released, here’s the link, go browse and buy!”  In this case, that won’t happen because both the customer service and the marketing are poor.  Lost sales are a sad thing all the way around.  Don’t let it happen in your business.