Conquer Your Fear, Share Your Faith by Ray Comfort & Kirk Cameron

For Men Only by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn
Great insights on women — how they think, communicate, and feel appreciated. Important for any man to read.
Grade: B

For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn
Interesting reading for me. Many Christian women read this book, so I felt it was necessary to find out what they’re being told about men. Pretty much right on.
Grade: B

The Five Love Languages Singles Edition by Gary Chapman
Excellent book on how people express love to (and receive love from) other people. If you can’t seem to communicate your love effectively to other people, then you’re probably not speaking their love language. Learn to identify your own love languages and discover the love languages of others. Whether it’s words of affirmation, touch, quality time, gift giving, or acts of service, once you become familiar with the 5 love languages, you will find it much easier to express love and appreciation to other people.
Grade: A

Found: God’s Will by John MacArthur
Read this a couple times, because it’s so short. John gives 5 or 6 concrete steps in the Bible for finding God’s will for your life. Then surprises you with a final principle for discovering God’s will for specific concerns in your life. This book cleared up any doubt I had regarding God’s will for me in the coming months.
Grade: A

Coming in October: The Big Book by AA, Passion & Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, Stop Dating the Church by Joshua Harris, Jesus the Evangelist by Richard Phillips, True Truth by Art Lindsley.

New:

• Become a member of McLean Bible Church
• Participate in the Origin of Species book giveaway at GMU

Accomplished:

• Begin a new dating relationship
• Get a fitness membership at GMU and use it regularly
• Complete the Way of the Master evangelism training
• Enroll in the C.S. Lewis Institute
• Retire the DC Derby podcast
• Consolidate blogs (personal, Evangelicious, Bibleicious)
• Join a Frontline small group
• Produce a short film for 48 Hour Film Project in DC this May
• Begin attending Frontline/MBC regularly
• Retire DC Tech podcast
• Participate in the FIST improv tournament
• Audition for a WIT troupe

In Progress:

• Weigh 200 lbs.
• Re-read the entire Bible
• Pay off & destroy credit cards
• Upgrade wardrobe after reaching ideal weight

Cancelled:

• Start riding my bike around town regularly
• Launch behind-the-scenes Frontline video podcast
• Enroll in Reformed Theological Seminary
• Film and produce a long-form documentary
• Take online training courses on XHTML, CSS, JavaScript, CGI, PHP, JSP
• Teach at least one class for Fairfax County ACE program
• See the following bands perform live this summer: Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Sounds, Metric
• Write at least 25 posts for Bibleicious blog
• Take a stand up comedy class at DC Improv
• Complete WIT curriculum (Level 3-4)
• Complete 30-day Stylelife Challenge
• Attend a Mystery Method bootcamp
• Attend Charisma Arts’ Conversation Camp

But in my ever-growing hunger for knowledge — especially on the topic of relationships — I figured I would have to familiarize myself with the 5 love languages at some point. So I got the book this week and finished it moments ago.

I admit I was wrong. This turned out to be an important book that I believe all people should read. Not only will it help you in your romantic relationships, but with all relationships in general (family, coworkers, friends).

Similar to secular self-help books that say everyone has a preferred “sense” in which they tend to communicate best (e.g., visual, audible, tactile), Gary Chapman — the book’s author — suggests that everyone gives and receives love in one of 5 ways (read: love languages). These five languages are…

1. Words of Affirmation
2. Gifts
3. Acts of Service
4. Quality Time
5. Physical Touch

Should you not recognize the love language of your romantic partner, friend, or colleague, you risk building conflict in the relationship through their perceived lack of love coming from you. If the way you choose to show love and appreciation is not the way the person wants or is capable of feeling love, then your efforts are in vain.

For example, if the other person’s love language is Words of Affirmation, all of your sacrificial service or gift-giving is not going to make up for the lack of verbal affirmation the person craves. Likewise, if the other person’s love language is Quality Time, then all of the encouraging emails and bouquets of flowers aren’t going to make up for the lack of love they perceive from the little quality time you spend together.

Right away, I knew what my weakest areas of showing love were… Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. For most of my life, I was very distant in my relationships with other people. I was distant verbally (didn’t often talk, much less provide encouragement to other people), and I was distant physically (wasn’t much of a hugger). And I certainly didn’t like to do acts of service — not even service that acted in my own interest, not to mention others’ interests.

If I was good at any of these languages, it was gift-giving (I love to give stuff away) and quality time (I love to spend time with the people I love).

As it turns out, my primary love language is Quality Time. I both love to give and receive quality time with those I love. I can’t think of a better way to experience the love of another person than having the chance to hang out with that person for long periods of time.

Secondarily, I think I also respond well to Words of Affirmation. I’m not totally convinced about that, as I tell myself I don’t care what other people think of me or what I do — but I’m sure much of that is bravado, and that I really do appreciate it when others publicly appreciate me.

Aside: If someone wanted to make me feel unloved, all that person would need to do is stop hanging out or communicating with me. (Can’t help but laugh at this, given my recent personal circumstances. It explains so much.)

The challenge for me is learning to identify the love languages of other people, then using their love languages to communicate my love and appreciation for them. As I said earlier, I have a lot of work to do in certain areas. The biggest of which I think is Words of Affirmation. I’ve grown up with and around such cynical, critical people that it’s hard for me to say something encouraging to someone without sounding disingenuous to myself. That’s just something I’ll have to get over.

Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis [audiobook]
Interesting retelling of the myth of Psyche and an allegory for fallen man’s view of Christians. I wasn’t personally that interested in the story, especially because it wasn’t a clear, one-to-one allegory, but included lots of complex themes and plot points. Might like it more, if I read the book rather than listened to the audiobook.
Grade: C

C. S. Lewis’s Case for Christ by Art Lindsley
This was the first book on my reading list for the C.S. Lewis Institute’s Basic Apologetics course. I read it in one night, because it’s written in such a quick, easy style. It was fascinating to see how much insight Lewis had on the Christian life — even though the author rightly points out an example where Lewis was wrong about his interpretation of Scripture. Great insight into the theological mind of C.S. Lewis.
Grade: B

Choosing God’s Best by Dr. Don Raunikar
My first exposure to the counter-dating practice of courting. This book took on a much more personal importance to me, because I was/am going through this courting process. The book presents a biblical view of finding a marriage partner, contrary to the modern view of dating. The author explains how dating can be destructive to your future marriage, and how the Bible provides a less emotionally, physically, and spiritually damaging way of finding a marriage partner — which is courting. Revolutionary to my view of love & dating.
Grade: A

How to Get a Date Worth Keeping by Dr. Henry Cloud [audiobook]
An alternative view of dating, directly contradictory to the ideas of courting. Dr. Cloud (best known for his Boundaries books) suggests that Christians should date many people in order to build social skills and eventually find out what they really want in a mate. He suggests going out with people — not because you’re interested in them — but because you need practice interacting with people. Something about this seemed disingenuous to me and very self-centered. Dr. Cloud also had very little biblical backing for any of his arguments. He approached the subject from a very secular, psychological point of view, rather than basing his views on Scripture.
Grade: D

Sex Is Not the Problem (Lust Is) by Joshua Harris
Excellent exposition of the topic of lust. Joshua Harris talks about his struggles with lust and how he deals with it. Very short, but effective. Every guy should read this.
Grade: A

Wait for Me by Rebecca St. James
I thought this was going to be inspiring, but it rather seemed somewhat childish. Granted, it was written for young adults (i.e., teenagers) by a young adult (Christian musician Rebecca St. James). James is a virgin, who uses her celebrity to champion abstinence — which is awesome. I just didn’t feel as though she was an authority on the subject as I was reading her book, due to her age and “lack of experience.” Also, the majority of her scripture “quotes” were taken from The Message, which is a pretty poor “watered down” translation of the Bible. I just was not into it.
Grade: D

Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship by Joshua Harris [audiobook]
I’m starting to really like Josh Harris’ style. This is an excellent book on courtship (even better than Choosing God’s Best), with more real-world examples taken from Harris’ own courtship with his now-wife. Incredibly good advice for couples pursuing marriage through courtship.
Grade: A

Coming in September: Conquer Your Fear - Share Your Faith by Ray Comfort & Kirk Cameron, The Way of the Master by Ray Comfort & Kirk Cameron, Landmines by Charles Stanley, If There’s a God Why Are There Atheists? by R.C. Sproul, The Tower of Geburah by John White, For Men Only by Shaunti & Jeff Feldhahn, The Five Love Languages for Singles by Gary Chapman, Hunger for God by John Piper

So, I figured I needed something else. I needed to take a martial arts class. I’ve always wanted to return to martial arts (I took Tae Kwon Do in college) and I used to see myself taking Kung Fu classes — because I like the fighting style better.

But whenever I’m on the verge of signing up for a Kung Fu class, I always conclude that it would take me years to master it, and I don’t really have the patience. After all, the only reason I want to take a class is to get into shape. Once I’m in shape, I don’t see myself continuing with the class. So, I really needed something short term.

A few years ago, I got really into tennis. I took private lessons, got tons of exercise, and was in pretty awesome shape. But eventually the club dues and lessons became way too expensive to maintain. So, I dropped it.

Fast-forward to a couple days ago, when I was browsing the web for some Kali fighting classes (Kali is a Filipino martial art). I didn’t find any local Kali classes, but I did discover something called Krav Maga, which is a short-term, very practical art of self-defense — originally developed in Israel to train civilians quickly and recruit them into the Israeli army.

So, Krav Maga had exactly what I was looking for. It was a short-term class, where I could learn practical self-defense and hopefully get in shape in the process.

I found a Krav Maga class at George Mason University (my alma mater), but I had to have a fitness membership to their workout facilities. I was surprised to find their one-year memberships for alumni only $400. That’s $33 a month — amazing! GMU has three state-of-the art athletic buildings, including the Aquatic Center, which houses several Olympic-sized pools.

So, I signed up for a membership and have been going to campus to workout the past two days. The buildings and equipment are far better than AOL’s gym, and the people and atmosphere are positive and motivating. I love working out there. I could stay there for hours — and in fact plan to, since I’m on vacation this week. I can definitely see myself going to GMU after work everyday and not feeling rushed to finish and get out of there as soon as possible (like at AOL).

Regarding the Krav Maga class, today was supposed to be the first lesson. I showed up to discover that it was canceled — and that Thursday would be the first day. Well, normally, I would be upset that it was canceled at the last minute, but this time, I was actually pleased. Instead of going to class, I worked out on the elliptical and decided I really didn’t need to take a class anymore.

The class acted as a crutch to get me motivated to exercise. But now that I’m totally motivated to exercise already, I no longer need the crutch. So, no Krav Maga class for me.

I’ve found an affordable gym with more to offer than I ever imagined — that is convenient and enjoyable to go to. What more do I need?

The speaker insinuated that we could attain righteousness through our own efforts. That through training and discipline, we could become righteous and live lives full of joy and peace.

Whatever this ideal life is, it’s certainly clear that people like the Apostle Paul never attained it. Paul clearly wrestled with his fallen nature and never suggested anyone could live a righteous life through their own power.

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

- Romans 7:18-20

Today’s speaker didn’t mention anything about the limitations of our fallen natures and our total reliance on Christ to sanctify and redeem our lives to prepare us for good works. Want to be righteous? There are no tips and tricks. Ask God to make you righteous. All of your unrighteous living is due to an unrighteous heart and your fallen nature. There’s nothing you can do to change those. You need God to do it for you.

So, instead of telling people that they can affect their righteousness through behavior-modification, you should be driving people to their knees, asking God to make them more Christ-like by changing their hearts, and thus enabling them to do good works and live “righteous” lives. Instead of depending on ourselves, we should be depending on God.

And you shouldn’t set the expectation that people can attain totally righteous lives in a fallen body and a fallen world. That’s not possible. We won’t be capable of that until Christ returns and we have new, righteous bodies.

Like Paul, we should expect to fight a constant battle between our desires to serve God and the desires of our flesh. We will never overcome this until Heaven.

Thank God our righteousness is not based on our own behavior, but is solely based on Christ’s behavior. His perfect righteousness is ours by faith alone. When you find yourself sinning and in the midst of guilt, just have faith in Christ’s righteousness and be grateful that you will always be considered righteous in God’s eyes, because of what Christ did for you.

I visited the world of improv again this weekend. First, it was my old troupe pal Sarah’s birthday, so I met up with her, her boyfriend, and her friends at Axis in DC on Friday night. It was refreshing to be around her again. We just started improvising fake stories to her friends about how we met and what I’ve been up to the past four months (her friend Stacy guessed that I had joined the Navy, so we went with that). Since Sarah was well aware of what I’ve been doing since May (”church stuff”), she kept introducing me to her friends as “the religious Christian,” which opened up some conversations about why I wasn’t drinking alcohol, etc. Our comedic rhythm was still intact — like we hadn’t missed a beat after 4 months. It was fun catching up. She seemed very interested in my current personal drama, and I was more than willing to discuss it. She’s one of the only females I can talk to about this stuff. As soon as more of her friends started showing up, I decided to leave. I didn’t want to monopolize her time, and I wasn’t in the mood to make new friends. I had to deflect one girl, who was being particularly flirtatious, by telling her about my pal Megan. She got the hint.

Friday night was sharply contrasted by Saturday night, when I attended the final WIT show of the season. When I arrived at the theater, I was “greeted” by Jamie, my other ex-troupe mate. I could tell she did not want to talk to me. I guess I couldn’t blame her. She probably considered my leaving the group abruptly in May as a personal insult and rejection. She said something snide about whether I was having fun with God, or something. I just smiled and nodded. Then she was out. The only redeeming moment was running into my former teacher Mikael. Of all my teachers and of all the WIT performers, I’ve always had a great liking and respect for him. He expressed interested in discussing some film projects, so I’m hoping to recruit him for some professional video work at AOL. I’d be so lucky to cast him in some of my short films.

So, my brief return to improv was bitter-sweet. I don’t think it really cleared things up for me, as far as whether or not I want to return to this world. I don’t know if I want to pursue creating an improv ministry at MBC, or if I want to jump back into WIT. And since I don’t know yet, the answer is clearly to do nothing and wait.

The only thing I’m sure of is that I want to work with Sarah and Mikael on some videos.

Don’t invite jealousy
When you are frequently apart from someone, jealousy will rear its head—it’s a fact of life. The best you can do is try to minimize its influence by checking in often simply to say hello—it’s reassuring. Don’t call from a party or a crowded bar; that leads the other person to dark thoughts.

Thanksgiving is God’s will for God’s people because when we give thanks for who God is and what God has done in our lives, there is no room for jealousy of what others’ have, no room for complaining about what we lack. Even in times of deepest sorrow, there is a joy that rises up on the heart when praise comes even with tears. Thanksgiving makes the heart full of gladness which overflows from our lives and spills out into acts of kindness and generosity. When we are grateful, we cannot help but share our gratitude. And this is the will of God for our lives.

- From “In Everything Give Thanks” by Margaret Manning

A true belief that we are the body of Christ should rule out all jealousy, competitiveness, and comparisons. If a good thing happens to one part of the body, it enriches you as a member of the same body. Ask yourself a question: Would you be just as happy for the Christian in the pew in front of you to receive a spiritual blessing from God as you would be if you received it yourself? If you’re like me, you probably answered no. But I believe that the answer to this question could be a resounding “yes” if we prized the doctrine of the body of Christ. Think of how your joy could be magnified if you considered the good of others your own good!

- From “Called to Thanksgiving” by Betsy Childs

But this time it was undue overreaction. There are no hidden agendas. There is no rejection. Just a period of waiting. And I’m okay with that.

Life doesn’t suck. It’s just a bit unpredictable at times. And I’m willing and determined to wait it out.

To be continued in 3 months…

…Now, enough of these sniveling emo posts. It’s time to write about something else!!!

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
- Matthew 11:28-30

The next 90 days will be a lonely time for me. Not to say the past four years haven’t been. But to be so close to having godly companionship in recent weeks makes its imminent absence all the more potent.

I will be forsaking dating for the next three months. Not by choice, but by necessity. And while the prospect of going it alone is disappointing, I am encouraged by the fact that I’ve so recently flourished during a 4-month abstinence of worldly pleasures and can only hope this 3-month time of solitude will yield similar results.

I don’t believe God is done working with me. I think the circumstance I find myself in today is just another test of faith He’s placed in my life this year.

Since May, He has tested my commitment in many areas of life… my material possessions, my finances, my time, my church attendance/membership, my accountability to and fellowship with members of the Church, my struggle with lust and covetousness, my vocation, and my daily communion with God through Bible reading and prayer. One of the last areas in my life that has not been under the authority of Christ has been my dating life. And that seems to be the next step.

Like Abraham, God provided me with my heart’s desire after much prayer and sacrifice. But it was only to show me how He could bless me, if I made Him lord over everything in my life. Today, when He asked me to forsake the very thing I desired most for a season, I felt like Abraham did, when God told him to sacrifice his one and only son, Isaac — the one thing Abraham loved most.

I can only hope that I’ll show the same faith Abraham did, when he trusted God and was willing to sacrifice his son in obedience to God. I believe the next 90 days is my time to sacrifice my hopes and dreams and trust God that, in the end, he will provide.

It may seem today like the next three months will be a lonely time for me. But looking at the past year, I’m confident God is eager to use this time to sanctify and shape me into a more effective servant. After stripping away all the distractions in my life, I am forced to turn completely towards God. I have no other option but to spend time in prayer and reading His Word. He’s left me with nothing else.

I have modest goals for the next 90 days…

• Make daily Bible reading and prayer a habit
• Make physical workouts a habit
• Refrain from all aspects of dating
• Go through Way of the Master evangelism course

If I can focus on these goals, I’m confident God will have something abundantly greater than I could have hoped or dreamed on the other side of these 90 days.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
- Ephesians 3:20-21

Wherever I am now, it’s definitely not my traditional role of being single. There have been several changes in my attitude and daily routines that scream loudly that I am no longer single.

There’s a joke saying (albeit true) amongst Christian men to “bounce their eyes” when they see an attractive woman who is not their wife/fiancee. Even though I’m not officially anything but single, I do find myself engaging in this practice today. Not only do I feel compelled to “bounce my eyes” at times, but I also feel compelled to “bounce my life.”

I’ve been single for a long time (it’s been 4 years since my last serious relationship). In that time, I’ve learned to be completely open to any and every opportunity to meet women. In essence, I’ve come to view every single woman I crossed paths with as a potential partner. I would be open to conversation and would initiate as many interactions as possible. This is how I became such a social person (as opposed to the extremely shy & quiet person I’ve been all my life).

Whether at work, at church, on the subway, or in the grocery store, I viewed all single woman as potential friends and dating partners. It became second nature for me to strike up conversations with absolutely anyone (except guys, which is a whole ‘nother blog post). I didn’t think twice to initiate.

But now, I find myself going against all of that social programming, as I’m trying to focus on one person. Despite my overwhelming compulsion to greet every female stranger I meet, I’m learning to “bounce my eyes.” Instead of flirting, I’m learning to be completely neutral in my conversations with other women.

I’ve even changed my daily routines. I no longer leave my condo at 8:15 AM, because I typically cross paths with a girl in the elevator, who I’ve flirted with on many occasions. I also don’t schedule one-on-one lunches with single females in the office anymore.

I don’t know what all of this means, other than the fact that I’m waiting to see if one particular “relationship” works out. I suppose it’s good to break old habits now, in order to have a successful relationship in the future.

I just wish there were a Facebook status for where I am right now.

I thought this would change once the NFL preseason started. For the first Redskins game of the preseason, I turned my TV on for the first time in 4 months, watched a couple of plays, then turned it off promptly once the first commercial began to roll.

Being away from television programming and advertisements for 4 months has made me very sensitive to the purpose and affect of advertising. I couldn’t even stand to watch one commercial, because it seemed so contrary to the life and worldview I’ve been establishing and fostering for the past 4 months.

My life this summer has been all about detaching myself from the love of material possessions, living a minimalistic lifestyle, and finding complete satisfaction and fulfillment from knowing and serving God.

The whole point of advertising is to make you dissatisfied with your life. Advertising takes advantage of your materialistic tendancies — the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life — all things the Bible warns you about.

Advertising promotes exactly the wrong things in life. Especially the advertisements you’ll see during football games. Whether it’s sex, cars, or wealth/retirement, these advertisements have nothing to offer the Christian man or woman, but hindrances to their spiritual walk.

And it’s only after being away from it for 4 months, that I can see advertising for what it is. Which is why I encourage every Christian to take an extended break from television — a “fast” if you will — to break away from the psychological hold advertising has in your life.

Not only will a fast from advertising help you be more content with the life you have, but the absence of television in your life will free up your time for other — more noble — things like family, reading, and prayer.

I didn’t set out to take an extended break from television. But I’m glad it’s turned out that way. I’m going to try and increase this 4-month blackout to an entire year. Yes, that means I’ll miss the NFL season, and yes, that means I’ll miss my favorite shows. But the time I’ll now have for daily Bible reading, prayer, friendships, and family will be more precious than anything television has to offer.

While promoting Transformers 2, Megan Fox said that if given the chance, she’d urge Megatron to only murder the “white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America.”

Source: Big Hollywood

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Out of sight, out of mind.

Both can be said to justify specific circumstances, but both cannot in fact be absolutely true.

Another apparent paradox exists with these sayings…

Birds of a feather flock together.
Opposites attract.

I say “apparent” because while these both can apply to dating, they can also apply to friendships with the same sex, etc.

However, when it comes to finding a potential spouse, should you be looking for someone who is very much like you (in personality, interests, talents, vocation, and calling?), or should you look for an opposite?

I have never heard concrete, biblical guidance on this subject. But thanks to a book I just finished and the expository commentary of John MacArthur, I discovered this evening that we should, indeed, be looking for an opposite. Seriously, it’s in the Bible.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
- Genesis 2:18

According to Dr. Don Raunikar in his book Choosing God’s Best, “The Hebrew word translated ’suitable’ literally means ‘opposite.’ God’s plan is to bring us a mate who can support us where we are weak and fill in the gaps where our own lives have holes.”

John MacArthur confirms this interpretation in his study Bible: “The words of this verse emphasize man’s need for a companion, a helper, and an equal. He was incomplete without someone to complement him in fulfilling the task of filling, multiplying, and taking dominion over the earth. This points to Adam’s inadequacy, not Eve’s insufficiency. Woman was made by God to meet man’s deficiency.”

So, someone like me shouldn’t be looking for someone who is identical to me — someone who has the same personality traits and interests. I should be looking for someone who would make a good companion and be strong in the areas that I am weak.

This brings up another cliche, though… You complete me. You always hear that you should not be trying to find someone to “complete” you, as you will be codependent. But what’s wrong with codependency? Is that not how God designed marriage? For two people to become one & depend on each other?

After my reading tonight, I no longer fear pursuing someone who is different from me.

1- Born-again Christians have the highest divorce rate
The first thing you didn’t know about divorce is that some predictors of divorce need to be shouted from the mountain top.

A study by Barna Research Group found that the 33% divorce rate among born-again Christians, or evangelicals, was the highest among Christian denominations. Not surprisingly, these results met with a flood of criticism, much of which raised one of the most disputed questions in this field: What is the biggest predictor of divorce among the broader population, the most common of all the common denominators?

The answer generally depends on who you ask, but two predictors frequently mentioned are first, age at marriage and second, income — notably, couples under age 20 with an income under $25,000 have a very high risk of divorcing. Throw in a pregnancy, and they’re pretty much doomed.

Things Christians should learn from this… Marrying young is a recipe for a failed marriage. You should wait until you’re sure of your calling (ministry & vocation), and wait until you’re financially and emotionally stable enough to support a family.

I’m willing to take my chances
I’m giving it all away
won’t take any mere romances
I’ll leave them to yesterday

Once all of my life was fading away
and now that I’ve found you here
waiting for me to make it your way
now that I’ve found you

Hey I’m not gonna fall away
no I’m not falling away

I’ve been in a way so wicked
more trouble than I can know
I never believed I’d make it
from seeing the fire below

You’re taking away my worry
for reasons I never knew
I’m praying to see you hurry
’cause I’m waiting to be with you

Once all of my life was fading away
and now that I’ve found you here
waiting for me to make it your way
now that I’ve found you

Hey I’m not gonna fall away
no I’m not falling away

Recorded by Steve Taylor and Sheila Walsh

Proof of a negative statement is difficult to pull off. For example, how would you prove the negative assertion “There is no gold in Alaska”? You would have to determine the limits of Alaska, its borders and depth and height, then dig up every cubic inch of Alaska. If there was one cubic inch you did not dig, there still might be gold there. On the other hand, how would you prove the positive assertion, “There is gold in Alaska”? Easy — you need find only one piece.

Similarly, what would you have to know in order to know for sure that there is no God? You would have to know everything. If there was one thing you did not know, that one thing might be God. We are so far from knowing everything that there is to be known, that the dogmatic assertion “There is no God” is not only not provable, it is also arrogant.

from C. S. Lewis’s Case for Christ by Art Lindsley

One of my very recent friends — someone I enjoyed hanging out with and respected as a very strong Christian — told me she didn’t think we had a future as friends and said goodbye. She unfriended me on Facebook. And that was it.

I was fine with not having any dating potential (I kinda figured that about a month ago, when she stopped communicating). But I certainly hoped we could still be friends. I don’t have any other friends as interested in studying theology and talking so freely about their faith as she. I was so exited to have someone to talk about that stuff with and was looking forward to sharing future in-depth conversations with her.

We originally met on Match.com (during the last week of my subscription). She was one of two Christian women to contact me right before my subscription ended. And I thought they were both very cool. But alas, neither worked out.

About three months ago, I had met a Christian woman through a speed dating event. We went out a few times, then I stopped all contact, when she started acting a little crazy. She unfriended me from Facebook, and I thought that was totally fine.

But yesterday, when someone I really wanted to befriend in real life said she didn’t want to pursue even a friendship with me, I felt incredibly sad. And it’s been distracting my thoughts the last two days.

Why does it have to be all or nothing? Is there no room for friendship within dating? I have a lot of female friends, who I may have pursued romantically at one point, but for one reason or another decided it wasn’t a good fit. But they’re still my friends.

I just don’t understand it.

If it wasn’t for dating, I would never have met this person, so I don’t regret how we met. But dating is a double-edged sword. If you live by it, you may die by it. But you will never find success, if you aren’t willing to get hurt.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been emotionally vulnerable enough to be hurt. And lately it seems like it’s one hurt after another. Two weeks ago, I was loving life. I was serving God again and new friends were popping up everywhere. Then, as soon as I got really serious about a certain ministry, it seems like everything else started to be taken away.

I don’t know if this is a trial phase for me, or if it’s the result of bad decisions or stupidity on my part. Why does it feel like my world is falling apart? I have a feeling I’m in for more bad news soon. Do I have the strength and faith to continue with God’s work, regardless of my personal losses?

Not sure why I can’t both serve God and have a little bit of happiness. Is this another “either or” situation? I’d like to think I’ll be totally devoted to God regardless. Can’t you just take my word for it, God?

Or will I have to lose everything first?

The problem with singles groups is that whatever the group hopes to accomplish, the ultimate reason most people are there is to meet someone to date/marry. Whatever spiritual, outward-focused goals the group may have, the members have an overriding selfish goal for being there.

If the attendees were truly there for worship, then they would go to the normal church service. But they’re there to meet potential mates.

I noticed that the dynamics are different for the men and women who attend. The women, while still inwardly competing with one another, find strength in numbers. They huddle and form strong friendships with the other single women. This makes them a large pack and actually less approachable — which is ironic, because I assume they want to be approached.

The men, on the other hand, view all the other men as competition and want nothing to do with building close friendships with any of them. Depending on how desperate they are, they may give a token pleasantry to the other guys if cornered into a conversation, but some will be downright rude to you, if they see you as worthy competition.

Social times at these meetings closely resemble a situation in wildlife, where the lions (men) cirlce a pack of gazelles (women), in search of their prey. Since the women have formed these tight packs, it’s harder for the men to find a target. But when a gazelle breaks away from the pack, then several lions immediately descend on her.

I met several guys this weekend, who attend this group, and with one notable exception (a very friendly guy named Leo), most of the men seemed very reluctant to make my acquaintance. Instead of being greeted with a warm handshake, I was metaphorically peed upon by the “dominant” males.

Now I’m the last person to compete over a woman, and when I find myself in those situations, I’m totally content to walk away and wait to cross paths with another person not wrapped up in such dynamics. But I’m still fascinated to see such primitive behavior on display within modern day interactions.

I’ve concluded this weekend that it’s good that I’m not involved in this group and will stop going to their social functions.

It’s not that I’m not looking to meet my own potential mate. I would just like to do so while serving God in ministry. I don’t want to go to a meeting/event solely designed for the purpose of meeting someone. I want to meet someone through service — someone who shares my calling for evangelism and communication through new media. The only way I’m going to meet someone like that is by doing those things and seeing who I meet in the process.

For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. - Luke 6:43-44a

Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. - Galatians 5:19-23a

So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. - James 2:17

Other seeds fell on rocky ground, where they did not have much soil, and immediately they sprang up, since they had no depth of soil, but when the sun rose they were scorched. And since they had no root, they withered away. … As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away. - Matthew 13:5-6, 20-21

They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us. - 1 John 1:19

If you love Me, you will keep my commandments. - John 14:15

I grew up in a Christian home, but it wasn’t until college when I became born again. This is my testimony.

Note: If you’re also a Christian and would like to share your testimony, I would love to film and post in on my new website… TestimonyVideos.com. Please email me, and we can set something up!

I don’t know if it was the weather, the time of day, or the Silver Spring location, but everyone we came across was very friendly and receptive of the fliers we were handing out. …Well, very receptive of the fliers Megan was handing out. I was having about the same amount of success as my two previous attempts. Where I stumbled on my words, Megan seemed to flourish in her fearlessness at approaching every person she came across. After a while, I simply relied on her to do the approaching, while I assisted her with following up with further questions.

We eventually got into a rhythm… She would approach, hand them the flier with vague description. Then I would follow up with specifics, like how the event was at the Round House Theater just around the corner next to the AFI Silver Theater. We used this system over and over and over again, until it became second nature.

Next to Megan, I became less confident in my ability to approach the strangers that we passed. Whereas, Megan’s confidence issue involved answering the questions these strangers had about The After Party. When people had questions, Megan looked to me to answer them. I was very confident in that role, so we ended up making the perfect team — each with a part to play.

We had a few notable encounters…

Megan was so bold in her approaches, that she often went up to cars stopped at stop lights to hand out fliers. She often went to typical “cool” guys in their “cool” cars, who would feel proud of the fact that an attractive girl took interest in them. When these guys reciprocated interest and looked to extend the encounter or invite Megan to stay with them, I would always step in and give them a wave and a smile and make it clear that the two of us were together.

That was also the case when she approached groups of guys on the street. One group wanted her to join them for lunch, so I had to turn around and make my presence known.

As we cruised up and down the streets of downtown Silver Spring, we also ran into a Christian woman, who was looking for a local church. We told her about the Frontline campus in Silver Spring, and she said she looked forward to checking it out.

One of the worst/best interactions came near one of the parking garages. We handed a flier to an older guy (in his 40s), who asked us if he should bring his wife. We said yes, slightly puzzled why he would think otherwise. He then inquired more, finally admitting he thought this was some sort of “swingers” event. I don’t think Megan understood what he meant, until we talked about it much later.

Finally, my favorite moment of the day came when Megan approached an older woman (seriously, Megan was approaching people way outside the typical Frontline audience). The older woman asked us specifically what the event was about. We told her it was a church event, discussing what happens after you die. She pressed us further, asking us what we thought happened when we die. Megan looked to me to give an answer, so I went straight into the 1-minute gospel message. This wasn’t hard, because I had just produced a video, which explained the Gospel in a nutshell.

I told the woman that I believe there is a God and a place called Heaven. But this Heaven requires absolute perfection to enter. Since we — the three of us — aren’t perfect, there’s no way we could get into Heaven, unless something outside of us interceded. Thankfully, God loved us so much that He sent his Son, Jesus, to come to Earth, live a perfect life, then die on a cross to pay for all of our mistakes (since the penalty for sin/mistakes is death). Once Jesus did that — died, paid for our sins, then rose again — anyone who has faith in that sacrifice for salvation will be seen as perfect in the eyes of God. And thus, will be admitted into Heaven.

I didn’t say all of that, but rather boiled it down to… I believe there’s a Heaven, but you have to be perfect to get in. Since none of us are perfect, we wouldn’t be able to get in. But thankfully, God sent his son Jesus to die and pay for our sins, so that we can get into Heaven. (You see, the woman never stopped walking, so I had to tell her this in the span of one block.)

When I was through summarizing the Gospel, the woman stopped, turned to us, and said, “That is the best summary of the Gospel I’ve ever heard. Short and to the point.” I thanked her, and she was on her way.

Megan thought that it was a wonderful compliment, and I was certainly glad to have received it.

After handing out fliers for about 3 hours, we finally gave out the very last flier in my stack. It was 6:30 PM, and we were beat. We sat on a sidewalk bench for a while, reflecting on the successes of the day. We then talked about other ways we could work together on other ministry projects. I was very happy to have finally found someone who I could partner with in ministry.

Former Washington Redskins coach Joe Gibbs speaks to a crowd at the AOL campus in Dulles, Virginia about his life, testimony, and new book Game Plan for Life. Gibbs is introduced by former Redskins chaplain Lee Corder. This event was held on Wednesday, July 29, 2009.