My daily commute to work has never been a pleasant experience. But it’s far less pleasant when it involves any sort of public transportation. While there isn’t a whole lot we can do to fix the transit systems in cities all around the world, there are some behaviors that we can all agree upon to help alleviate some of the more excruciating annoyances about riding in a vehicle with strangers.

This series will focus on ways to help you and your fellow passengers have a more pleasant ride. As with most situations that call for courtesy, simply being aware of your impact on others is a great way to make it better for everyone.

Articles in this series:

You’re not fooling anyone

Every weekday morning I see people in the subway car sitting in the outer of the two seats in their row, hoping against all hope that no one will have the guts to ask them to move aside so they can sit in the seat next to them. And I do watch some other people stand, rather than make that move. Me? I always make people get out of the way so I can sit in the inside seat next to them.

Believe me, I hate sitting next to strangers more than your average person. But as far as I’m concerned, if you didn’t pay twice as much as everyone else, you don’t get to take up two seats just because you were clever enough to sit on the outside.

I understand that some people do this just because they want to be on aisle, for easier exit purposes, or because they’re claustrophobic, or whatever. That’s fine. You can have the outside seat.

But I’m still going to sit next to you every time. So don’t give me that look, as if I’m inconveniencing you. Just get out of the way and realize that sitting next to strangers is part of the whole public transit experience.

You would be hard pressed to find anyone who doesn’t experience customer service nightmares at least on occasion. As the years go by, and smaller companies consolidate into giant behemoths, it seems like the first real loss is that focus on treating customers like human beings.

In some ways, this is perfectly understandable. There is simply no way for one company with that many customers to give each of those customers the amount of personal attention he or she deserves. On the other hand, most companies seem to be taking the automation and outsourcing of customer support to the extreme, so much so that customers are often left with a very sour taste in their mouths and no sense of loyalty to the company at all.

This series will examine the etiquette involved in dealing with customer service, both from the company’s and the client’s perspective.

Articles in this series:

Make it look like you’re busy

I’ve worked in retail before, so I know that sometimes even though it looks like you aren’t doing anything to help customers, you may in fact be.

But speaking as a customer, I have to tell you that you should be aware of what your activity (or lack of activity) does to the customer’s level of frustration. If I’m standing in line for twenty minutes, that already feels like an hour. And within those long twenty minutes, I have nothing better to do than to survey the entire staff and try to figure out what each is doing to help move the line faster.

Your task at that time may be something completely invisible to me, but as long as you are within my line of sight, I can’t help but count you as one more person who is getting paid and isn’t helping me.

So what’s the solution? Try to look busy. Or try to make what you’re doing more obvious. Or better yet, if it’s at all possible to do what you need to do out of sight, then do it out of sight. I’d rather wait in line for twenty minutes with only two customer service reps who look like they’re really trying to move the line along, than wait for ten minutes with five staff members in view, only two of which appear to be helping me.

I know it’s not fair, but it’s human nature. It’s a psychological thing. And think of it this way: you’ll deflect the blame for my wait onto management and corporate headquarters, where it should be.

My daily commute to work has never been a pleasant experience. But it’s far less pleasant when it involves any sort of public transportation. While there isn’t a whole lot we can do to fix the transit systems in cities all around the world, there are some behaviors that we can all agree upon to help alleviate some of the more excruciating annoyances about riding in a vehicle with strangers.

This series will focus on ways to help you and your fellow passengers have a more pleasant ride. As with most situations that call for courtesy, simply being aware of your impact on others is a great way to make it better for everyone.

Articles in this series:

Step all the way into the car, please

One thing I noticed right away when I started using public transportation is that people seem to be paranoid about being able to get off at their stop. They have this notion in their heads that the train or bus will only stop for two seconds, and that the doors will immediately slam shut before they have a chance to get out.

As a result of this, everyone tries to position himself or herself as close to the door as possible for the entire ride. This, of course, has two effects. First, people getting on the vehicle cannot, because too many people are crowded around the door. Second, people who really do need to get off the vehicle cannot, for exactly the same reason.

When you enter a public vehicle, you are supposed to step in as far as you can; keep moving until you get all the way into the available space. Chances are, other people will be getting off before you get to your stop. When your stop comes, believe me, no matter how deeply buried you are, you’ll be able to get out before the doors close on you. You just have to make your desire to get off known, and people will help you get to the door in time.

Most trains and busses stop with their doors fully open for 15 seconds or more. I can walk a quarter of a block in fifteen seconds.

And if the lack of available space leads you to have no choice but to stand by the door, be aware that people are going to be trying to get past you. When the train or bus stops, move out of the way. You may even have to step off and then get back on, if it’s really crowded in there. That’s the price you pay for standing by the door.

There’s an old saying: “Everyone thinks he’s a good driver.” No doubt, I’m not the best driver in the world, but I do feel very strongly that there’s an unspoken code that is not being followed by most of the people with whom I share the road every day.

Perhaps this series will get me into more trouble than any other part of my blog; so be it. These ideas have to be put out there, if for nothing else, than to start a discussion.

Articles in this series:

How long does it take?

I will never cease to be amazed by how long it takes people to get into a car, get it started, and drive out of a parking space.

I know you saw me as you were getting into your vehicle. I know that you know that I’m waiting for your space. I know you know that there are now two or three other cars waiting behind me who can’t drive past because I am waiting for your space.

So why are you sitting in the car for two, three, four, up to five minutes before driving off?

I’ve seen people put on make up, have conversations on the cell phone, fiddle around with their iPods—you name it. Do they possess such an ego that they feel other people should wait for them?

Tom Vanderbilt, in his excellent book Traffic theorized that people see parking spaces as valuable conquests, and thus are reluctant to give them up, even when they no longer need them. Like a child who isn’t interested in a particular toy until his cousin wishes to play with it, we get possessive about these all-too rare rectangular territories.

Whatever the psychology behind it, people need to start thinking of others more often when they drive.

Lift riders, be on the lookout. Not everyone knows the basic rules of elevator etiquette that we all should have learned after a few weeks of experience. Those of us working or living in buildings with elevators are in serious danger of falling victim to the following infractions by others. This is just one in a series of rules by which to live.

Articles in this series:

Never hold others up with your talking

If you are having a conversation with someone outside the elevator, and one of you wants to get into the elevator, but the other doesn’t, one of two things should happen.

Either your conversation ends as one of you gets on, or neither of you gets on, and you wait until the conversation is over to board the elevator. Don’t hold the elevator up with ten people on it as you hold the door and continue your all-important conversation. That’s just plain offensive.

The same thing goes when both of you are on the elevator, and only one wants to get off. Don’t hold the door open and continue talking. End the conversation, or both of you get off until the conversation is over. Then, the person who wants to continue up or down can catch the next car.

There’s no reason why others should have to wait for your conversation to end in order to get on with their day. And even if no one else is in the car, you never know if there are people waiting for that car to arrive on another floor. Elevators are happiest when they are in continuous motion.

As I’ve mentioned many times before, I’m not very interested in what people do in their own homes. Certain rules of etiquette apply, of course, when you have guests over, or you are a guest in someone else’s private home. But when you’re home alone, I say do whatever you like, as long as it doesn’t interrupt your neighbors’ pursuit of happiness.

Public spaces, however, are a totally different story. This category of articles will discuss the “rules” for public space interaction. A sort of general topic area for things that don’t fit into any of my other categories.

Articles in this series:

Don’t make me walk between you

I understand that “stop and chats” often occur spontaneously throughout the day. You bump into someone and have a brief conversation wherever you happen to be. It’s a very natural tendency, especially when two people are walking in opposite directions, to stop in their tracks, no matter where that is. But try to be aware of your physical surroundings when this occurs. You may be blocking other people’s passage.

Far too often, people decide to stop and chat right in a doorway, in a narrow hallway, when standing in front of the coffee machine, etc. This forces other people who need to get by, to use equipment, etc. to push past you, or move you out of their way.

Don’t put others in this position. Instead, next time you’re stopping for a chat, try to move the conversation to a less obstructive place.

This series will concentrate on the art of dining out, whether it be at a fancy restaurant, or just a small food counter at the mall. Since they are public places, there are certain customs and courtesies of which we should all be aware.

Again, as with many of the other series of articles on this site, I’m not concerned about people’s private eating habits in their own homes. You can do whatever you want at home. Just don’t bring those habits out into the world where the rest of us have to endure them.

Articles in this series:

Your restroom(s) are a reflection of you

I spent last weekend in Los Angeles, and, as is usual on trips away from home, I ate a number of meals at various restaurants throughout the course of the weekend.

I won’t mention the name of the restaurant associated with these photographs and videos, because I did actually like the food and had a good time with friends. I would like to point out, however, to restaurant owners everywhere that rest rooms are an important part of the overall dining experience. It’s almost as important to provide a comfortable place to relieve oneself as it is to provide a comfortable place to eat the meal.

With that in mind, take a look at this rest room and see if you agree with me that this is not a comfortable place to relieve oneself.

My back was against the wall when I took this photo

I don’t mean to be picky. This room, is after all, pretty clean. But when I’m sitting on a toilet, my knees shouldn’t be under the sink.

This is the view while sitting on the toilet

It would have been far worse if the room had been a mess. (And that offense is actually far more common than limited space.) But still. I need a little breathing room in here. Anyone of larger-than-average size would have serious trouble even fitting into this room.

And a mirror usually helps, too.

I know it’s hard to maintain a restaurant. I know that space can be rather limited in some establishments, and making renovations costs money. But figuring out a way to make this room larger would be my number one priority if I ran this place.

Lift riders, be on the lookout. Not everyone knows the basic rules of elevator etiquette that we all should have learned after a few weeks of experience. Those of us working or living in buildings with elevators are in serious danger of falling victim to the following infractions by others. This is just one in a series of rules by which to live.

Articles in this series:

Just get the next one

A while ago, I mentioned that standing inside an elevator and holding the door open while there are other people inside, just so that someone outside can get in, is a somewhat rude gesture, because you are assuming that the other people inside are in a generous mood.

Pressing the call button on the outside of an elevator that is about to close with five people already in it, just so that you can force the doors open and catch this one instead of waiting for the next is extremely rude.

You have no right to hold up a car full of people just because you deem yourself more important. For the most part, elevators arrive, especially at the ground floor, every thirty-seconds or so. Would it kill you to wait for the next one? Really, no matter where it is you have to go, no matter how late you are for that meeting, catching the next car is not going to make or break you.

The elevators where I currently work are great, because once the doors on a car begin closing, the buttons outside the car will have no effect on reopening them. The button simply calls the next available car. In other words, it assumes that everyone in the car has the right to get moving, rather than giving preferential treatment to the person outside hitting the button. On most elevator systems I’ve seen, the opposite is true. You can often reopen a completely closed door if you hit the button before the car is actually moving up or down.

I wish all elevator systems were designed to favor the greater good, but until that happens, we should all do our part and simply wait a few seconds after a door closes to press that outside call button. The people inside may not thank you, but you can spend that extra thirty seconds waiting for the next car thinking about how you helped them get to where they are going just a bit faster.

The explosion of personal computer use over the last quarter century has led to an entirely new culture for which the “rules” are an evolving body of knowledge. While many proper guidelines are still very much up for debate, there are still some pretty well established norms that most of us tend to follow. Perhaps we can have some fun discussing our own experiences working with others on computers, and maybe years from now we can look back on these articles and see how much has changed.

This series of articles will look at proper etiquette both for computer users and for designers, both of hardware and of software.

Articles in this series:

Steer clear of proprietary technology

Remember surfing to your favorite web sites back in 1998?

Thank god lazy web site designers don’t get away with this sort of nonsense anymore, right? Well, not quite. While we no longer have to be forced into a particular browser to view our favorite content anymore, companies are still forcing us to use particular technologies at an alarming rate.

Now, the message is something like this:

I ask you, what’s the difference? Haven’t we learned anything in the last decade?

Web site designers: Stop doing this. Owners of companies hiring web site designers and forcing them to use Flash and other proprietary technology on your web sites in order to make them more “cutting edge”: Stop doing this. Please.

You think the site is cool and hip. But what you’re doing is slamming the door on an increasing number of customers.

This is like refusing to sell someone shoes because he drove a Ford to your store instead of a Toyota.

And for those of you who are now saying “Well, Flash is installed on 98% of all computers out there, anyway.” You’re missing the point. Flash could be on 100% of the desktop computers and laptops, and it wouldn’t matter. Because that’s not where I’m doing my research anymore.

Here’s a scenario for you. I’m visiting LA next weekend, as I tend to do a couple of times a year. Let’s say I’m cruising around the city a bit, doing various things, and I realize that it’s close to dinner time. So I whip out my iPhone and use the Yelp application to find a restaurant nearby. I find a place with rave reviews in my price range. So far, so good. So I decide to check their web site to have a look at the menu. And I get this:

FAIL. I immediately go to the next place on Yelp.

Why? Because if you’re a restaurant, even more so than for other types of businesses, your site needs to work on mobile phones. I need to at least be able to get to the pertinent information with ease. Address, hours, menu. If I can’t get that, I go elsewhere.

Take a look at that picture above again. The only thing that’s accessible to me on this site is the restaurant’s cute history. Sounds like a compelling story, but the entire navigational system is locked inside a piece of Flash I can’t access. No address. No hours. No menu.

Useless.

Now I hear some of you saying that this is Apple’s fault. They should support Flash on the iPhone so that I can use the site. Really? How many other phones support Flash right now? And how many of those actually support the full Flash, not the crippled Flash Lite, which is just as useless if the site you are trying to access wasn’t created in a much older, deprecated ActionScript 2.0?

In case you didn’ t know, that number would be zero. There is no such thing as a mobile phone that can fully access every Flash site. Flash is simply too resource hungry for any mobile device to handle without killing the battery and slowing the browser to a crawl.

So even if every phone had Flash, in other words, every designer would still have to use a crippled set of tools within Flash to make sure it worked on mobile phones. Why not just leave Flash out of the design in the first place?

Even if my phone could support Flash, I could choose to not allow Flash content on my phone. Just as many desktop users turn off Flash on their home computers. It’s not the designer’s place to shove Flash down your throat, particularly when there are many better alternatives.

Wouldn’t it be easier for the designer of this site to follow the simple rules of proper UI design and make a site that degrades properly on all platforms?

The really epically sad part of this is that most of the time these sites get designed with Flash for no good reason. One image fades in, or there are rollovers, something that could be easily accomplished with Javascript or some other open technology that would work everywhere.

I’m picking on Flash here, because it seems to be the most-often abused technology out there. But the same goes for Real Player, Silverlight—anything I can’t get to from a mobile phone should be avoided, or at least limited to some part of the site I don’t absolutely need to see.

Ask yourself this: for every one person who goes to your restaurant because the web site had five seconds of cool animation, how many go somewhere else because they couldn’t figure out whether or not you’re open for lunch on Saturdays?

The desktop is no longer where we get our information. I don’t care how small your business is. If you don’t have a mobile strategy going yet, be prepared to go out of business soon.

I’m a pretty hip guy when it comes to technology, but I’m not that far ahead of the curve. At this point, my iPhone is where I do 100% of my research about the restaurants, movie theaters, clothing stores that I want to visit when I’m in an unfamiliar neighborhood. The rest of the world is only a few years behind that. Keep giving everyone blank pages instead of web sites, and you might as well go back to advertising in the Yellow Pages.

This series will concentrate on the art of dining out, whether it be at a fancy restaurant, or just a small food counter at the mall. Since they are public places, there are certain customs and courtesies of which we should all be aware.

Again, as with many of the other series of articles on this site, I’m not concerned about people’s private eating habits in their own homes. You can do whatever you want at home. Just don’t bring those habits out into the world where the rest of us have to endure them.

Articles in this series:

Your menu needs to be specific

Here’s a tip for restaurant owners. When you create your menus, you need to tell me EVERYTHING that is included in the meal. If you put mayo on your hamburger by default, you need to tell me that. If you put guacamole on your Turkey Club sandwich, you really need to tell me that.

Don’t just say the steak comes with a side of fresh vegetables. Tell me which vegetables. Tell me if you put tiny little chunks of onions in your marinara sauce. Tell me if your chicken is covered in sesame sauce.

There are far too many allergies out there in the world for us to be playing guessing games at dinner time. Sure, I could ask the waiter or waitress, but I shouldn’t have to do that. It should be spelled out right in front of me.

And beyond allergies, don’t I have a right to know what I’m ordering? I’m very specific about what I put into my body. I don’t appreciate being surprised by a plate that I’m either going to have to eat begrudgingly or send back.

And if I forget to ask the waiter, or worse yet, I assume that your Chicken Parmesan sandwich isn’t slathered in mayo*, I shouldn’t have to suffer the consequences.

*I wish I could say that I’ve never seen a Chicken Parmesan sandwich slathered in mayo, but the Sunset Grill in Hollywood once did me the honor. Looking at their menus now, I notice they no longer serve that delicacy. Coincidence?