TV took so much of our time as a family away. We didn’t even notice until it was gone! We also do not have internet at home (for financial reasons). That too is a blessing in disguise. I have to plan what I NEED to look up (like daily weather!) and I only have a certain amount of time to do it at work/school.

Looking for more ways to find more Q-time with the family, but TV and internet are biggies!

And without intimacy there soon becomes no good reason to be married; for all the other reasons, children, religious beliefs, monetary security, social situations, etc., only lead to misery.

But, in equal proportion to the misery you can know in marriage, you can also know joy- if you understand that goodness means nothing unless you have someone to be good for and to receive good from. This is especailly true of God’s goodness; for without us to be good for and to receive good from, His goodness, too, has no meaning. Think about it.

Which is why I always say,

“Be good! It’s what you were created to be!”

I find most husbands try so hard to make their wives “comfortable”, give them “stuff” and lots of money… wives don’t want that. They want their husbands. They married you because they couldn’t live without you!! Not because they needed someone to take care of them and give them things. The Heavenly Father does that!

Just thought I’d share. Hope that helps.

Some ideas… Find something she is NOT expecting to be done. Don’t try to do the dishes, dust, or make the bed if you know she will get to them before you. Do understand that this may be her way of showing you love (even if it’s not your love language). Instead, try to do something a bit different! Hand wash her car, and make sure it has a full tank of gas, or fix something that she likes that is broken. Be careful not to do something for you; use your imagination and do it for her!

Also, you may even tell her that you want to do something for her, then, ask what she would like for you to do! This is more concrete but could be tricky if you wife is vague. If she says “Do something” then you may have to probe a bit (very carefully!), however if she said “Could you clean the ceiling fans? I have a hard time reaching them”, you’re in business!

Finally if neither work, try taking something over WHILE she is doing it! Rap your arms around her while she is doing dishes, cuddle her a bit and tell her you love her, then gently restrain her arms and insist on you doing them! I’m not saying push her out of the way, but even if she doesn’t want to move, at least stand up there and rinse and dry them. Did I mention telling her you love her? Link her love language with the words! Then they will mean more when said. You may not want to do the dishes (or whatever other service she beats you to) but it’s likely she don’t always feel like it either. Get over being full, the video game, favorite show and take over what she is doing as soon as you notice her doing it (DON’T WAIT UNTIL SHE IS ALMOST DONE!). And no matter which (or all) of these you do make sure you reinforce WHY you are doing it, telling her… I LOVE YOU.

One last thing… Make sure that if ever start linking the words “I love you” to services, make sure you to it frequently enough so that her learned association is not confused when you start spouting the words but not showing her! Trust me, those words can get real hollow real quick if you are not very specific as to when and why you say them! Good luck!