Comments for Daily Generous Husband Tips http://www.the-generous-husband.com Daily tips on being a better husband. Wed, 23 May 2012 19:28:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= Comment on Same sex relationships – my 2¢, adjusted for inflation by The Generous Husband http://www.the-generous-husband.com/2012/05/20/same-sex-my-2%c2%a2-adjusted-for-inflation/comment-page-1/#comment-6331 The Generous Husband Wed, 23 May 2012 19:28:34 +0000 http://www.the-generous-husband.com/?p=9920#comment-6331 Rick - well said all around. Jesus went out of His way to conform bigoted thinking. The woman at the well is a perfect example. She may or may not have been a prostitute, as some suggest, but she was most certainly Samaritan. What existed between the Jew and the Samaritans was something like the worst racism of the American South. Most Jews went around Samaria, even though it took longer. Likewise, we have the "Good Samaritan" - a slap in the face of any Jew. Rick – well said all around.

Jesus went out of His way to conform bigoted thinking. The woman at the well is a perfect example. She may or may not have been a prostitute, as some suggest, but she was most certainly Samaritan. What existed between the Jew and the Samaritans was something like the worst racism of the American South. Most Jews went around Samaria, even though it took longer.

Likewise, we have the “Good Samaritan” – a slap in the face of any Jew.

]]> Comment on Giving her a safe place by The Generous Husband http://www.the-generous-husband.com/2012/05/23/giving-her-a-safe-place/comment-page-1/#comment-6330 The Generous Husband Wed, 23 May 2012 19:12:32 +0000 http://www.the-generous-husband.com/?p=10013#comment-6330 Fred - You both have my prayers. Give it time, more time than you think it should take. Look for any small improvement, and make positive comments from time to time on what you see. Fred – You both have my prayers. Give it time, more time than you think it should take. Look for any small improvement, and make positive comments from time to time on what you see.

]]> Comment on Giving her a safe place by The Generous Husband http://www.the-generous-husband.com/2012/05/23/giving-her-a-safe-place/comment-page-1/#comment-6329 The Generous Husband Wed, 23 May 2012 19:10:52 +0000 http://www.the-generous-husband.com/?p=10013#comment-6329 Debi - Wish I'd know Tom 26 years ago - he could have taught me a lot about this, and made things easier for both Lori and me. I wonder if those being mentored by Tom know what a blessing they have? Debi – Wish I’d know Tom 26 years ago – he could have taught me a lot about this, and made things easier for both Lori and me.

I wonder if those being mentored by Tom know what a blessing they have?

]]> Comment on Crisis and drama and arguments, OH MY! by Fred http://www.the-generous-husband.com/2012/05/22/crisis-and-drama-and-arguments-oh-my/comment-page-1/#comment-6328 Fred Wed, 23 May 2012 18:45:45 +0000 http://www.the-generous-husband.com/?p=10005#comment-6328 Leslie, We talked last night and she was clear that she wanted to be able to talk to me at least for now. She expressed that one of the reasons she had not wanted to talk in the past or shut down was because she did not feel safe talking to me. I explained that I now see why she did not feel safe then I offered boundaries that she agreed would help her to feel safe. We had a small talk last night and it went good. So I feel we may be off to a good start. Thank you for your suggestions. Leslie,
We talked last night and she was clear that she wanted to be able to talk to me at least for now.
She expressed that one of the reasons she had not wanted to talk in the past or shut down was because she did not feel safe talking to me.
I explained that I now see why she did not feel safe then I offered boundaries that she agreed would help her to feel safe. We had a small talk last night and it went good. So I feel we may be off to a good start.
Thank you for your suggestions.

]]> Comment on Crisis and drama and arguments, OH MY! by Lesli Doares http://www.the-generous-husband.com/2012/05/22/crisis-and-drama-and-arguments-oh-my/comment-page-1/#comment-6327 Lesli Doares Wed, 23 May 2012 18:06:33 +0000 http://www.the-generous-husband.com/?p=10005#comment-6327 This is really tough. Unfortunately, you can't make her address something she is not ready to address. You can only provide a sense of safety by your behavior. Validating her feelings and managing your reactivity are great places to start. Letting her set the tempo of the conversations is another. Don't push, not matter how concerned you are. Many small conversations are often more productive than a few big ones. Seeing a counselor to help you navigate through this and be a positive support to your wife may be helpful. I wish the best for you. This is really tough. Unfortunately, you can’t make her address something she is not ready to address. You can only provide a sense of safety by your behavior.

Validating her feelings and managing your reactivity are great places to start. Letting her set the tempo of the conversations is another. Don’t push, not matter how concerned you are. Many small conversations are often more productive than a few big ones.

Seeing a counselor to help you navigate through this and be a positive support to your wife may be helpful. I wish the best for you.

]]> Comment on Giving her a safe place by Fred http://www.the-generous-husband.com/2012/05/23/giving-her-a-safe-place/comment-page-1/#comment-6325 Fred Wed, 23 May 2012 14:58:11 +0000 http://www.the-generous-husband.com/?p=10013#comment-6325 Paul. Thank You, You have both inspired me and reassured me that we are on the right track. Unfortunately over the last few years I have done everything you said not to do. Last night my wife and I discussed her going back to counseling. She told me that she wanted to be able to talk to me. So I confessed that I now know that I had done just about everything wrong, and that I had allowed my issues to hurt her in the past when I thought I was helping. We also sat-up boundaries to help her feel safe. Thank You, for the work you do. Paul. Thank You,
You have both inspired me and reassured me that we are on the right track.
Unfortunately over the last few years I have done everything you said not to do.
Last night my wife and I discussed her going back to counseling. She told me that she wanted to be able to talk to me. So I confessed that I now know that I had done just about everything wrong, and that I had allowed my issues to hurt her in the past when I thought I was helping.
We also sat-up boundaries to help her feel safe.
Thank You, for the work you do.

]]> Comment on Same sex relationships – my 2¢, adjusted for inflation by Rick http://www.the-generous-husband.com/2012/05/20/same-sex-my-2%c2%a2-adjusted-for-inflation/comment-page-1/#comment-6324 Rick Wed, 23 May 2012 13:01:48 +0000 http://www.the-generous-husband.com/?p=9920#comment-6324 I think Paul brought something up that needs to be said over and over again..There is a sizable portion of the "Church" that have a very biggoted view of anyone different. I've seen it in the apostolic church, the evangelical, the pentacostal, indeed all mainstream denominations. This is a direct result of religion and not the body of Christ. It is also a direct result of culture, a learned behavior. Until the Church wakes up to see themselves in the mirror, as an individual saved by the Grace of God, then there is no way they will ever see the error of the we versus them attitude so prevelent. Yes there is a war out there that we must fight. There is the legions of Hell and the Saints of the Most High and we must do our share of the fighting. But it is a war of ideas and the spirit. Not a war of people. Didn't Christ come to set the captives free? Isn't that what we should be doing? It is kinda hard to set the captives free after you have blown them to bits, isn't it? We can't stand by and watch evil be done, so we must do what we can to changed the hearts and minds of those set upon doing it. That is our part of the battle and what we are equipped for. We must look towards winning the war and not just the battles. And sometimes that means giving up some ground in order to buy time, fighting for all we are worth to keep that ground but understanding that we can let it go if need be. One, by one, heart by heart, living our lives with integrity so that those whose hearts are not hardended will see. Let's start each day praying that God will soften the hearts of everyone we meet today and that we will be the example He needs us to be. Miracles happen that way you know! I think Paul brought something up that needs to be said over and over again..There is a sizable portion of the “Church” that have a very biggoted view of anyone different. I’ve seen it in the apostolic church, the evangelical, the pentacostal, indeed all mainstream denominations.

This is a direct result of religion and not the body of Christ. It is also a direct result of culture, a learned behavior.

Until the Church wakes up to see themselves in the mirror, as an individual saved by the Grace of God, then there is no way they will ever see the error of the we versus them attitude so prevelent.

Yes there is a war out there that we must fight. There is the legions of Hell and the Saints of the Most High and we must do our share of the fighting. But it is a war of ideas and the spirit. Not a war of people.

Didn’t Christ come to set the captives free? Isn’t that what we should be doing? It is kinda hard to set the captives free after you have blown them to bits, isn’t it?

We can’t stand by and watch evil be done, so we must do what we can to changed the hearts and minds of those set upon doing it. That is our part of the battle and what we are equipped for.

We must look towards winning the war and not just the battles. And sometimes that means giving up some ground in order to buy time, fighting for all we are worth to keep that ground but understanding that we can let it go if need be.

One, by one, heart by heart, living our lives with integrity so that those whose hearts are not hardended will see.

Let’s start each day praying that God will soften the hearts of everyone we meet today and that we will be the example He needs us to be. Miracles happen that way you know!

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