I guess that it ultimately comes down to: Whatever works for you, works for you. There is no right or wrong. Something I get VERY obsessive about. Feeling that if I don’t follow the “rules” perfectly, that I might as well give up…

“John Sherman cleanly clarified the technique for me–he says just to look at me. Not awareness, not presence, not consciousness, not oneness, not mind, not ego, not any of those beautiful concepts, but just the basic sense of me. That’s when I realized I was making the same mistake of abstraction when I was trying to eat with awareness.

This really intrigued me:

“Eating with pleasure is so much more natural. I never forget to eat with pleasure, I don’t eat it if I’m not really enjoying it. When I eat with pleasure, it’s just natural to eat slowly, to be grateful, to enjoy, to pay attention to eating.”

I am so grateful I discovered your website. Thank you for being so available to offer your insights as well. Your writings emanate a great sense of peace and humanity. Thank you.
Jen

Thanks for your open and honest comment. I’ve been wanting to reply but a reply did not come up until just now.

You and I both have experimented and stumbled around and come to some recognizable clarity. I’ve read much of what you mention and tried out a few things.

I think the effective techniques are about looking and honesty. The looking at the sense of I AM technique is effective, though I am not done with it and so don’t know where it will lead, but so far I’ve confirmed with myself that it does release resistance in us. That technique is all about looking, looking at you, something very ordinary. The only thing that’s extraordinary about the sense of you is that it is the only thing that is constant.

The release technique I talk about here is very effective, and it too is about looking. Allowing, looking, letting go.

And just simply being aware, falling back to awareness, brings in a broader intelligence. That’s a good technique.

So why do we do the seeking? Can’t we just skip the seeking and go to what is at the source? Can we skip our attachment to particular practices and theories and spiritual knowledge and the rest?

John Sherman seems to think so, and suggests his looking at you technique. I don’t know because I have already done the seeking, so I don’t know if this would have made sense to me five or six years ago.

And to your excellent question: how do we live life while we are awakening?

Well, where the spiritual tire meets the practical road–well, that’s a confusing place. I had the same questions. I haven’t found the answers; it’s more that the questions are disappearing!

And so what I do and what I suggest is to look, with honesty, and live life in the way we are capable of living it right now. More simply, I don’t worry about it.

Thanks, Brett, I hope to hear from you again.

k

Good to see you here.

Yeah, I got the idea of “intuitive eating” from Geneen Roth. Also, Charles Eisenstein and Paul Mckenna say similar things.

What you are discovering about “awareness” is a key understanding. My experience with eating with awareness was very much like yours. I would start eating with awareness and then it becomes about awareness and not about eating and so it isn’t about eating with awareness. Awareness is abstract, it’s a conceptual idea that we try to practice. It isn’t the real thing.

So I replaced “eating with awareness” with “eating with pleasure.” Pleasure is something I understand innately. I understand pleasure, I understand hunger, I understand satisfaction. But awareness is too abstract, and especially for those of us who are into spirituality, it is particularly misleading.

It’s very much as John Sherman says. When I tried to do what Nisargadatta and Ramana said (look at sense of I AM), I did not understand what they were talking about, because I abstracted what they said and mixed in spiritual concepts which I had learned. John Sherman cleanly clarified the technique for me–he says just to look at me. Not awareness, not presence, not consciousness, not oneness, not mind, not ego, not any of those beautiful concepts, but just the basic sense of me. That’s when I realized I was making the same mistake of abstraction when I was trying to eat with awareness.

Eating with pleasure is so much more natural. I never forget to eat with pleasure, I don’t eat it if I’m not really enjoying it. When I eat with pleasure, it’s just natural to eat slowly, to be grateful, to enjoy, to pay attention to eating.

I don’t have any rules about forcing myself to sit down to eat, or not eating in the car, or eating only in calm environments. The rules I have are very simple: eat when hungry, eat with pleasure, stop eating when satisfied. (I avoid animal products but that’s for a different reason and not really relevant to this.).

And what I’ve found is the false ideas I had about food and weight are falling away in layers. There have been periods where I’ve lost a lot of weight quickly and periods where I remain the same and periods where I’ve actually gained some weight. But overall, I’m moving in the direction I want to. The fear and sadness and recrimination and inner-criticism around food and eating are falling away.

It does take some patience. Doubts can come up. It can go forward and backwards.

I hope this makes sense.

k

This particular writing fascinates me! I am in the midst of engaging in Geneen Roth’s books and theories on binge eating. I have been a compulsive eater my entire life and it has been very destructive in every possible way. I am not sure if you are familiar with her work, but she does emphasize awareness in eating. I have found that when I work with her guidelines (which include all of yours as well) I am not enjoying my food or eating as much as I would like to. It is almost a chore now to have meals and snacks because I am so caught up and obsessed about being acutely aware while I am eating. I am too conscious of it, I think. Perhaps she encourages the awareness so that one will be sure to stop when he/she has had enough food. But I get obsessive. Have I had enough? Do I want one more bite? Is my stomach begging for more or has it had too little? Am I savoring each bite? Am I putting my fork or spoon down enough? Am I eating too fast? Too slowly? The questions never end and I find myself fixated on them.

Do you relate to any of this?

I also have one more question! Do you force yourself to sit down at the table or some calm environment (refusing to sit in the car) for each meal or snack? Or do you allow yourself more freedom while eating?

Thank you so very much for reading this. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts.
Best,
Jen

I’ve come to see that feeling lost and looking for the right path, is in itself part of the disease of fear. And paradoxically, that’s the way it typically goes.

I hope to see here again.

k

…compassion and anger came on alternate days, fear and joy by the hour, other intense emotions by the minute. recently it’s settled down to this dullness. nothing in life is joyful. after reading dark night of the soul and other articles on your page. it’s nice to know I’m not alone. releasing is useful. thanks for writing and keep it up.

k