Clay de Voute

Look away, I'm hideous!

2011-09-14T17:00:00.003-04:00

Oh, to be a TIFF volunteer with nothing to lose. Did Madonna demand that volunteers turn away from her as she left her press conference or did she not?

Were it the former, Clay would no doubt make every attempt to meet the Material Girl. You know, just to piss her off. Apparently it's quite easy to do.

And this:

The only explanation I can think of is that Madonna is actually a Gorgon and she was looking out for the volunteers' own safety.

Hat. Boat. Hat boat!

2011-09-12T16:02:00.001-04:00

DSC_0461, originally uploaded by claydevoute.

It's a picture of a boat. On a hat. In a picture of a hat on a boat. You get the picture.

Clearing out the backlog of drafts

2011-09-09T22:02:00.001-04:00

A scan of a Paris Metro ticket. This one took me back to my old haunts around the Moveable Feast.

This draft was at least a year old.

No, I don't know why it would take me a year to post it, either.

Charlie Parker goes to Palo Alto

2011-09-09T09:37:00.000-04:00

F. Scott Fitzgerald said "there are no second acts in American lives."

I came across the quote at the bottom of my movie poster for Bird, the Charlie Parker biopic.

The premise, I guess, is that U.S. innovators are so intense and their trails so new that they've nothing left when it's time to reinvent.

It certainly applied to Parker, who transformed jazz from music for dancing into music for listening before he died at 35.

Let's apply this to tech:

Microsoft: With Windows and the PC, Microsoft put computing in everyone's hands, but has struggled elsewhere. Revenues have tripled under Ballmer's reign, but do you know anyone with a Windows phone?

Yahoo! With the portal concept, Yahoo! made sense of the web when no one else could. That is, until a better search engine made portals irrelevant. Carol Bartz increased revenues almost 150 percent in two years, but besides sending mail, do you still Yahoo?

RIM: With the BlackBerry, RIM invented the smartphone and enabled productivity at all hours of the day. Then Apple built a better smartphone. The PlayBook is a powerful and beautifully made tablet, but it hasn't helped RIM stem the torrent of bad news or set the world on fire.

Microsoft, RIM, Yahoo: a few years ago all three were giants of tech. They were big and scary, now they're neither. They're more akin to those toothless old tigers you see at the zoo.

There are exceptions:

Since his return to Apple, Steve Jobs proved it's possible to reinvent entire industries. Ditto IBM, which has been around for 100 years. Amazon has gone from selling books to selling everything and its cloud offerings host a range of new startups. Android's doing well, but the jury's still out on whether Google can "do" social.

My sense is that there's something about tech that makes it difficult for companies to evolve. Is tech more dependent on its leaders than other industries? Are too many of them one-trick ponies? Can anyone even really determine how tech will evolve?

I dunno. Any ideas?

Bird had some. Then he died.

Howl of the cube dweller

2011-09-08T19:09:00.000-04:00

With apologies to Allen Ginsberg

I saw the best hours of my afternoon destroyed by

meetings, frantic, multitasked pointless,

dragging themselves toward another conference call at eight

asking for the login ID,

muddleheaded managers pining for the blessed elusive

synergy with strategic goals in the quarterly report,

who powerpoints and spreadsheets and stressed-out and burnt sat

there stewing in the everpresent leverage of

beige-grey cubes scanning across the inbox and voicemail

contemplating scope.

Things that come to me on the drive into work

2011-09-08T14:25:00.000-04:00

"U2 haven't been relevant since I grew pubes."

Rejected new slogans from Ottawa Tourism

2011-09-08T14:10:00.003-04:00

Ottawa: It's just kinda there.

Ottawa: City of leftovers.

Ottawa: Three thousand civil servants, one million angry farmers.

Ottawa: Mostly harmless.

Fair Jeanne Bytowne Brigantine Adult Voyage 2011

2011-09-07T22:20:00.001-04:00

Fair Jeanne Bytowne Brigantine Adult Voyage 2011, a set on Flickr.

Moving in stereo

2011-09-07T19:09:00.000-04:00

If I was in charge of PC products, I'd make a sauce called "Memories of Phoebe Cates."

The Soundgarden Concert

2011-08-25T09:49:00.000-04:00

Like the CD, only louder. They could franchise their act with a CD player and cardboard cutouts.

Sigh.

2010-08-20T15:01:00.000-04:00

How quickly we devolve.

Footie Love Footie Love

2010-06-09T22:09:00.003-04:00

There are many World Cup commercials. Just this evening I saw Cristiano Ronaldo shilling for Castrol. I prefer this one, for Puma. It totally schools that one from Nike. I just can't stop watching it.

Rome-ing, part 3 and probably the last part

2010-05-31T19:39:00.008-04:00

Some points that fall halfway between full-on columns and copout bullet points:

Clay's Rule of Travel #4: Always give yourself a reason to come back. You'll never see everything you've planned to, no matter how carefully you plan. And making a list of the things you want to go back to next time makes a place more your own.
Thoughts on Landsdowne upon seeing the Coliseum: If you're opposed to the project because you're not into sports, then you're missing the point. The Coliseum was a meeting point and focus for all of Roman life, not just the bloodsports. Ottawa needs this focal point. Or, more precisely, Ottawa needs this focal point if it wants to be about something more than being "nice" or "at least not Toronto." It's also important to focus on the "all" part. Meaning ALL of Ottawa. Other parts of the city must step up to make this project work. OC Transpo. the NCC. Ottawa residents themselves must all extend their perspectives beyond the boundaries of their nieghbourhoods. Yes, the processes that got us here was probably flawed. But that debate is over now. Landsdowne is a chance for Ottawa to step up as a city and assert a new identity. Then again, if all we're worried about is parking, then perhaps we'll get the Landsdowne we deserve. And we'll continue to play out the string as Toronto's country cousin.
Why did I respond this way? I've seen big buildings before, but these struck me like no others. I think I know why - simple forms - rows and columns - repeated. There's no fussiness to distract. No gilding of lillies. The simplicity and repetition draw you in.
Once you can express a preference for a specific thing over another, similar thing - either of which things some people work their entire lives for but never see, then you know how truly lucky you are. Example: "I really like Roman ruins. But the ones in Arles don't even compare to the ones in Rome."
Clay's rule of travel #1: You are not special. Specifically, to the multitudes of tour guides, ticket sellers and bored security guards, you are not special. You are in line at the Louvre, shuffling through the Prado and gawking at St. Peter's for exactly the same reasons as everyone else. To the less-scrupulous tour operators and pickpockets, moreover, you're simply an easy mark. However, that doesn't mean your own experiences will not be special. Or unique. Or incredibly powerful for you. We all want to travel to see and to learn. That's the first step and we all have to start somewhere. What we get out of travel depends in large part on what we bring to it. Start with an open mind. It will lead you to the truly wonderful places.
Ah yes, the romantic allure of the European sidewalk cafe, where the actual coffee will cost you $4.50 and the experience of drinking it will last all of 38 seconds. You want another? $4.50, please.
In Canada, the things you need to be open are usually open when you need them to be open. In Europe, some of the things you need to be open are open only on some days, some of the time, depending.
North America is obsessed with perfect and complete. In Europe, imperfect and unfinished is a way of life. Notre Dame took a century to build. Folks here have learned to be patient.
They were French, and they were having The Argument. You know, The Argument Every French Couple in the Movies Has to Show How Uptight we North Americans all are.
Now she's sitting down. He's standing. Looks like a standoff. Why is she with this dork?
10 PRINT "Hey look, a church!" 20 GOTO 10. RUN.
10 PRINT "Stand right, walk left." 20 GOTO 10. RUN
In Rome I saw more Corvettes than Ferraris. Explain.
Ok. It's the same distance to the Metro as to the cab stand. Cabs: expensive, possible nausea. Metro: Cheap, possible nausea. Plus chance to walk past new Ferrari. Ok, Metro wins.

Rome-ing, part 2

2010-05-26T22:11:00.003-04:00

In which our host keeps a running tab of his thoughts during this year's Champions League Final:

First Half:

In Rome there are sports and there are bars. Yet there are no sports bars.
I've yet to see a Bayern kit that doesn't look dorky.
More people here now. This is good. This is perfect.
I can just sit back and enjoy the game, safe in the knowledge that Chelsea won the domestic double and ManU won SFA.
K. Kickoff. Inter looks composed. Bayern looks jittery.
Wow. We really, really overparent back home. To my now-conditioned eyes, EU parents look almost criminally negligent. Where's the bag? Where's all the stuff? You can't go out with a kid without stuff, can you?
How nice not to hear Don Cherry.
14:16 - ok, both sides settling down now.
Lots. Of. Diving. jeez loueez.
Europe still runs on people.
Well, I always do get kinda sick when I travel. Perhaps a week of 16-hour days has something to do with it?
Why is the announcer calling them "Bayern Monaco?"
Arjen Robben has explosive quickness.
Robben vs. Sneijder is a key matchup, methinks. Just better be sure they don't injure each other before the World Cup.
Wow. Bayern sure are an ugly bunch.
I think I'm going to start writing in all caps and serif fonts. I'm starting to like it.
Bayern is dominating possession by 2/3 but not doing much with the ball. "keep away! keep away!"
Poor dogs. Wonder if they ever get to walk on grass in this town.
Lots of shots for Bayern, none of them tough.
GOAAAAAAAAAL! Milito!
Replay: perfect first touch from the goal kick. Perfect angle on the pass. Perfect finish. No chance for Butt.
Inter wants more now. You can feel it.
Odd that people see this as a "Germany vs Italy" thing. I mean, the "German" team is coached by a Dutchman and their star player is French. The "Italian" team is coached by a Portuguese who's on record as hating the Italian soccer establishment, and their star striker is from Cameroon.
Inter is moving it well. They've got the angles down. Mourinho really has them in a groove. Bayern by comparison is boring. They've gotta come up with something soon or it's all gonna be over. They really, really miss Ribery.
How about that. Christophe Lambert makes wine.
A lot has changed in Europe in the last 20 years. Not the music, though. That still sucks.

Half-Time

Hmmm...there are no direct routes back to the hotel. Or to anywhere else, for that matter.
Funny ad for a GPS: A very old, very tired stork flying around with a very old man.

Second Half

Wow. The runway at the Madrid stadium has granite filigreed walls. These are the new cathedrals, people. Logos the new iconography.
Chance for Bayern. Well, ok, that was something. But they still look unsure. Lots of "i got it, you take it" going on.
So, if Inter does take it, do we have to add an asterisk? *Yah, but without Ribery it was easy...
Do peanuts count as dinner?
Where's my autographed copy of Fabrizio's Return? I think I lent it out and it never came back.
Another easy one for Julio Cesar. Well, at least Bayern are trying.
Ok. Now that was close.
These are really crappy napkins.
Getting sleepy.
GOAAAALLLLL! Milito di nuovo!
Made them look very foolish.
Some American teens behind me are trying to figure out their Euros. Guys, it's simple: the bigger the bill, the more beer it will buy.
Nearly 4 days in Rome and I haven't seen one backpack. Bless.
76th minute: Robben still playing like he cares, but I think his supporting cast has checked out.
Olic coming out. There's the white flag right there.
Quit complaining, van Brommel. You know your cleats were up.
Inter playing with purpose. Bayern is just passing it around.
86th minute. Bayern gets it into the 18-yard box, Inter calmly removes it.
Possession time: Bayern - 69 percent. Astounding. Yet nothing to show for it. Paging Monsieur Ribery....
91st minute: Enter Materazzi. You could say i have mixed feelings about seeing him win.
final whistle. The Special One is now ever more Special. Now. Where can I find a cab?

Rome-ing

2010-05-26T21:16:00.001-04:00

I used this particular Moleskine and a smaller, softcover variant on the trip to Rome. It was the same one I used in London a while back and the same one I used at last year's TIFF festival. I travel with a Moleskine mainly because they're indestructible and fast and only partly because they're cool. They're also efficient: little elastic-y bit keeps loose bits of paper tucked neatly in there, and the sewn-in bookmark brings me instantly to where I need to be.

I used them a lot both during the conferences I was there to cover and to keep track of various thoughts. It was pen and paper, text only. Blazingly fast. I can't even imagine trying to do what I did over there with an iPhone. All that shuttling between applications? Typing with one finger?

No thanks.

Moleskine, baby.

Moleskine.

So, herewith are some of those scribbles thus rendered into the not not nearly as elegant HTML. I can't call them "random," as they're all to do with Rome and my experiences there, but I'm not going to force them into a narrative. Make of that what you will.

Here goes:

Nuns on the subway! Nuns on the subway! DA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA Nuns on the subway!
Raphael - sad eyes looking straight at you through the centuries.
Writing human stories in the skies. Try to understand it all.
Even cappucino in a plastic cup tastes better after a trip to the Sistine Chapel.
Anyone who thought "Inferno" was a work of ficition has never had to travel in Rome by subway.
I like Coke cans in Italy. They're tall and skinny. Just like me!
A4. Fucking hell. How can paper be sexy? Well, it is based on the Golden Section, so there.
It's not that these clothes are "nicer" than what we can buy in Canada. It's like they're woven from some alternate, parallel strand of fashion DNA.
I've finally found a way to wear this shirt that doesn't make me regret buying it.
Europeans have mastered the art of "fall out of bed" sexy. In Canada we just look sloppy.
Oh, cool - there's one of those spring water fountains. Fuck. Why did I throw out my water bottle?
Dr. Myerson, I presume?
Projecting the appearance of competence will take you nearly as far as the real thing.
This is my gift to you. Soon I will be gone. Too soon, they will write. What will you leave for them to remember you by?
I miss ambient coffee.
In Europe, work never seems the most important thing. Especially at work.
Why is he playing "El Condor Pasa?"
Ok. Now I'm hungry.
Rome is a great locale to help you understand the new world of business. It's noisy, it's crowded, everybody's moving in every direction at once, you're getting bumped from all sides and nothing makes any sense.
I think i've consumed enough carbs to last the rest of this and at least two subsequent decades.
Why yes, I'll have the tiramisu.
Oh Fiat, Oh Peugeot, when are you coming to visit our streets?

More coming, but this was a start.

Persuaded

2010-04-25T21:32:00.009-04:00

Kudos to the Mayfair Theatre for hosting the spring edition of the Ottawa International Writers Festival - the more reasons people have to head down there, the more likely they'll be to keep their doors open once the megaplex arrives in the refashioned Landsowne park.

On this evening I headed down there with N, the Ottawa Sports Guy and @Hopeangrcourage to hear Terry O'Reilly and Mike Tennant elude on their most excellent CBC Radio Series, The Age of Persuasion. The evening was hosted by Lawrence Wall of CBC Radio One (91.5 FM 'round these parts).

There was standing room only. Which was odd, considering - as Lawrence Wall pointed out - we're all supposed to "hate" advertising.

Nevertheless, a very good, very lively discussion ensued. What I like most about these guys and their work is their continued emphasis on writing, language and thinking. Writing ads is difficult. Writing good ads even moreso. Continually winning awards with your ads over a 30-year career is nearly unheard of. Yet these guys have a combined portfolio to make you weep.

Over an hour Terry and Mike (who were friendly and approachable enough as to imply we're on a first-name basis) explored the core ideas of a few of the book chapters. In particular, they talked about need for effective advertising to honor The Contract.

The Contract states that advertisers must give something back to you in exchange for your attention - a laugh, for example. Or a valuable piece of information about the product in question. Advertisers who ignore The Contract - telemarketers being among the biggest culprits here - face only the wrath of the people they're trying to sell to and thus, make their jobs more difficult by continually building a wall of resistance.

There are exceptions, though. Remember the first time you saw an ad in a movie theatre? The howls of protest? The lament for the disappearance of the national anthem? The fact that the price of a ticket didn't go down one bit in exchange for your attention being sold to advertisers? Old news. Now we simply accept them.

Will the same thing happen with Telemarketers? Perhaps, but I can't see it.

O'Reilly and Tennant also spent a good deal of time discussing the recent Tiger Woods ad, with the former recalling how he called it the first in the long process that will be the reconstruction of the golfer's brand (if not his marriage) and how his column generated more heat than any other observation. O'Reilly also had kind words for Sleep Country Canada president Christine Magee for spending so much on radio ads; but lamented her hard-sell, low-rent retail approach to said ads.

There was more said and there's probably more to say, but I'll leave it at that. And the less said about the dude with the rambling, confused screed against ads in schools, the better. Get over yourself, dude. I hate Lost too.

Hell, don't we all?

Live on TV you can watch them buy

2010-03-29T22:53:00.001-04:00

Having fun playing with the Nikon.

Poor bunny...

2010-03-29T17:06:00.000-04:00

Chocolate Bunny from Lernert & Sander on Vimeo.

"My god, it's full of stars..."

2010-03-22T21:55:00.003-04:00

How long before this gets remixed a thousand ways?

Disappointed in Apple's "Magic"

2010-03-17T23:08:00.001-04:00

So Apple calls its iPad is a "magical" new device.

Really?

How disappointing.

What I really liked about Apple was that they seemed to work harder on their products - they thought harder about the user experience, they made more of an effort to integrate hardware and software. All of those intangibles added up to products that were easier and more fun to use. Their entire ad campaign for a long time was based on the word "think." And from what I've read, Steve Jobs is an absolute demon to work for.

So what happened with the iPad? Did Jobs and his engineers just sprinkle pixie dust on some iPhones and call it a day?

I doubt it. But I also know that no company pays more attention to its branding than Apple. The use of "magic" was not an accident. So what gives?

I admit I'm puzzled.

Five more more more movies (for you know who)

2010-03-15T20:45:00.001-04:00

Character Studies: Sexy Beast. I'm not sure I want to be any of these people, but they sure do lead some interesting lives.

Great Places to Visit: After Hours. "Different rules apply when it's this late."

Funny as Hell: Dr. Strangelove. "You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!"

Awesome Ultra-Violence: Eastern Promises. Now I'm going to cut off his fingers...You may want to leave room."

Movies to Listen to: Gosford Park. "It must be so disappointing...when something you know, just flops like that."

Five more more movies

2010-03-14T11:42:00.000-04:00

A few more ideas. Hope you're checking back.

Character Studies: Raging Bull. This could go anywhere, esp. in the Ultra-violence category. But not the Funny as Hell category.

Great Places to Visit: Diner. Also a contender for Funny as Hell. It's here for the vibe.

Funny as Hell: Tin Men. "You bolted outta nowhere!" (I should note that Tin Men was effectively a sequel to Diner.)

Awesome Ultra-violence: A History of Violence. There's not a lot of violence in this per se, but the way Cronenberg treats it makes it last for a long, long time.

Movies to Listen To: Manhattan. "Between the two of us I was not the immoral, psychotic promiscuous one. I hope I didn't leave out anything."

Dinner for the ages

2010-03-14T11:28:00.004-04:00

Recipe for the main here.

States of American States

2010-03-04T21:28:00.009-05:00

Tony had the vernissage for his American States show at Exposure Gallery tonight.

Vernissage.

Man, I love that word.

Vernissage....

Anyway, seeing as Tony's written that his work down in various American States is as much about his state of mind as what's on the license plates, thought I'd write this post in kind:

Lonely: The people in these shots are often on their own. Even when they're not, they suggest no connection to the people around them. His shots of empty spaces - places where people used to live, work and play but no longer do - are even lonelier.
Surreal: The people in these shots are often dwarfed by signs, trucks, guns, and other objects. They wait for a resolution that will never come, like characters in a Samuel Beckett play who aren't in on the joke.
Happy: They served beer at this event.
Thankful: A portion of the proceeds from the sales of these pictures will go to the Ottawa Mission.
Impressed: Exposure Gallery is on the 2nd floor of Thyme and Again and is available for small corporate gatherings and receptions. They cater.
Excited: Westboro's galleries have started a monthly art walk. They call it "First Thursday." Every month from 5 to 9 PM they open their doors. Take a stroll, be amazed.
Inspired: On the way back to the car I took this picture of the world's loneliest lamp.

Conflicted about Charlotte

2010-03-02T22:48:00.010-05:00

So I picked up the latest by sexy chanteuse Charlotte Gainsbourg and so far I'm liking it a lot. She plays mix and match with genres, textures, tempos and languages and pretty much holds your attention throughout the entire disc.

That's the problem.

See, most of the songs were written by Beck and he plays on a lot of the tracks. I used to like Beck a lot. I found tracks like Milk & Honey and The New Pollution to be instantly compelling in an "of the moment" way.

That's the problem.

See, none of Beck's songs have any staying power. I remember reading a review that said his music was all based on mediated experience (drawn from TV and such), not actual experience. He picks up the detritus of our media-soaked age and recycles it into catchy tunes.

That's the problem.

The AV Club called her stuff "easy listening for the cool kids" and I can see where they're coming from. Heaven can Wait has a jangle-pop bounce that would do Feist proud. Voyage has that kind of non-threateningly exotic fair-trade coffee vibe to it that reminds me I'm a good person for caring about cheetas and global warming and stuff without actually having to do anything about either. Both she and Beck pick textures and tempos like they were offerings at a buffet.

Am I going to like this disc in a month? A week? Will I love it intensely or consign it to the "Oh yeah, I forgot I owned that" pile?

Only time will tell.

And that's the problem.

In the meantime, here are some pictures of Charlotte. I know there's one aspect of the matter I'm not conflicted about at all.