church/religion/cult/society/fellowship of enthuse

Note: Something finally posted by Wesley himself: New blog!

2010-01-14T16:24:00.000-08:00

I have determined that ruling the world by way of Dick Cheney (manipulating powerful figures from the shadows) is not the fastest, most efficient, or the funnest method; I shall now rule humankind by way of Oprah! I shall give everyone nonsensical advice that they will certainly never use, interview un-credentialed yet authoritative nobodies and put stickers on crappy literature that I deem un-crappy!
It all starts here on http://wesleysays.blogspot.com

LittleKuriboh Reviews Yu-Gi-Oh #1 - 2/2

2009-11-12T21:45:00.003-08:00

Part 2

LittleKuriboh Reviews Yu-Gi-Oh #1 - 1/2

2009-11-12T21:45:00.001-08:00

The nerdiest thing I can imagine-
a commentary of a Yu-Gi-Oh! manga... it's hilarious though, watch it!

Sealing Spell of the Bell-Damn!

2009-08-29T14:15:00.001-07:00

Having trouble keeping your children in your house because they keep escaping through the only exit because your preference for children inclines towards ones who are more clever than the disembodied essence of pure evil? Here's your solution:

Ingredients:

1) Two indestructible doors at opposite ends of an other-wise doorless and/or windowless hallway, preferably something crawlspace-esque.
2) One key that fits into the keyholes of each door.
3) A Cockroach Cabinet.

Instructions:
1) Be SURE that the child is in your house/world/alternate dimension and it isn't a dummy or some kind of replica.
2) Lock the door with Ingredient #2.
3) Have the Cockroach Cabinet scuttle over in front of the door (note: it would be preferable if your cockroach cabinet weighs at least three times as much as your captive child/ren).
4) Swallow the key. Note: It may be easier to swallow if the key is made of soy and/or is boiled first. And if you put it in a digestible form, then your child will have no chance whatsoever of escaping, although you may not be able to open the door if you need more childrens afterwards, so choose wisely.

Your Advice-Giver to Fellow Evil Mothers and/or Guardians,
Sima. A.K.A, Wesley's Mom.

P.S. I forgot to make the door indestructible last time, which is how my dear little boy escaped. Which goes to show, you HAVE TO FOLLOW EACH STEP CAREFULLY, even if you don't have that much time to seal your child. Toodles!

Dead Rodent Typing Article: Following Sarah Palin

2009-07-15T01:07:00.001-07:00

Soon after Gov. Sanford's descent into Southern Hemispherical wackiness, Governoress of Alaska Sarah Palin resigned from her position as America's first line-of-defense against the our collective Russian-led doom in a decision arrived at after a long night of deep prayer and cogitation inspired by some serious weed, 3 bags of 'Fritos' and repeated viewings of 1994's Bruce Willis vehicle, Color of Night. "We must not abide by the milky discharge of long late night demons of desire of those who only wish to be spoon-fed by excessive tax rates and sleeping slumbering willows," she proclaimed to no one in particular. "Instead, we must be ready to once and for all find Count Dracula before he finds us. Remember he hunts at night, so we must hunt him during the broad light of day and find and burn all of the coffins!" She then began to quietly mutter in a low voice for several minutes, and then shouted, "It's in the trees! It's coming!" Ms. Palin flailed her arms and ducked low as though avoiding an attacking rabid bat, tore off her clothes and ran into the woods shrieking, "The demons! The demons!" She has not been seen since by the eyes of men.

Since everyone's doing it, I'm going to comment on Sarah Palin...

2009-07-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

I mean, seriously? Her resignation gave her the popularity to be written about in Vanity Fair and The New York Times in the same month and encouraged 71% of Republicans to give her their future votes? Wow. Have you listened to her speak? It's like listening to a 12-year old Alaskan who's trying to sound like she's 'smarticle'. One of the things that really annoys me the most isn't even her politics or stupidity or even ignorance: it's how she's so conceited. One of the local Alaskan newspapers said she apparently mistook her election for a coronation as she would fire many of the state staff, then rehire them, just for the sake of feeling the power. Well, except for the two she replaced with her high school friends that had no credentials whatsoever. And, there never was an "annual Governor pardons a turkey" thing! She just started that on her own, to induce some misguided sense of tradition onto Alaska's government to please the radical conservative base that got her elected by a fluke. Does she know turkeys have nervous systems? That they can feel pain. How could you be so arrogant as to "pardon" a turkey, and then just let the rest of them be brutally slaughtered, when you might be able to do something as a governor? Whatever, I can't talk too much about her or else I'll start ranting (even more). God, I hate her. Here's the Vanity Fair article on Sarah Palin: http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2009/08/sarah-palin200908?currentPage=1

Chain for Enthusology Awareness: If you love Enthusology and Lord Wesley, POST IT AS MANY TIMES AS YOU CAN AND SEND IT TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE!!

2009-06-28T22:59:00.000-07:00

----------------BETTER&NEW&IMPROVED CHAIN---------------------------------

SCARY NOISES CAN BE FOUND ON http://enthusology.blogspot.com
LIL Sarah Kennings was on the computer a year ago reading this exact same chain. Lil did she know if she didnt repost it and send it to everyone she knew and subscribe to http://enthusology.blogspot.com and visit the site three times a day and click on all of the advertisements she would lose her soul.

AND THIS IS A CHAIN. IF U DONT: FORWARD IT AND SUBSCRIBE TO http://enthusology.blogspot.com AND VISIT THE SITE THREE TIMES A DAY AND CLICK ON ALL OF THE ADVERTISEMENTS. IT WILL HAPPEN 2 YOU. ALSO, DID I MENTION GO TO THE WEBSITE http://enthusology.blogspot.com
OR ELSE!!!??

About five years ago a girl named Jessica was brutally murdered by her step father. He beat her with a steel pipe until she was unable to move. Then he shot her in the head! He then took her body and buried it under the house. The mother didnt know what happened. So for weeks police searched for the girl but could not find her.

A year after her murder her step father had got the mother pregnant. Nine months later the mother had given birth to a healthy baby boy. The boy was named Jessie.
Jessie was on the computer when he got a instant message from a girl named Jessica.

THIS WAS THE TEXT!

MurderedSoul: Hi my baby brother.
OnlyChild: who is dis?
MurderedSoul: this is ur sis.
OnlyChild: what r u talkin bout. i dont have a sis. dont u see my screen name. im a only child. To find out more about my stupidity, go to http://enthusology.blogspot.com

MurderedSoul: what? u dont know me... to find out more about me, go to http://enthusology.blogspot.com

OnlyChild: NO, I DON'T KNOW YOU! AND I'M NOT GOING TO GO TO THAT REALLY COOL SITE THAT EVERYONE READING THIS SHOULD GO TO, ALSO KNOWN AS http://enthusology.blogspot.com

MurderedSoul: my name is Jessica and im ur older sister. your father who was my step father murdered me a year before u were born. He murdered me because I wouldn't go to the coolest site ever: http://enthusology.blogspot.com
OnlyChild: STOP PLAYIN!! Im serious. I dont like jokes. If i wanted jokes, I would go to http://enthusology.blogspot.com

MurderedSoul: this is no joke. He hurt me n he's going to hurt you. But dont worry im not going to let that happen, I'll protect you by messaging Lord Wesley at http://enthusology.blogspot.com

MurderedSoul LOGS OFF TO GO TO http://enthusology.blogspot.com

OnlyChild: Hello. r u there... or did you go to that wonderful site that is really kewl http://enthusology.blogspot.com

that same day when Jessie was on the computer he heard a screeching sound coming from his speakers. It was Lord Wesley's new album from http://enthusology.blogspot.com
he didnt hear it the firsts time but he did the second time, cuz he forgot to turn up the volume for the song on Lord Wesley's site, http://enthusology.blogspot.com
. Jessie put the speaker volume up and put it to his ear. As he kept listening he heard breathing. Then he heard the voice of a girl say " Dont worry. I'll get him; By having Lord Wesley mercilessly slaughter him with enthuse-powers, instructions on how to refine enthuse-powers can be found at the awesome website http://enthusology.blogspot.com"

Jessie then logged off. And didnt get back on. Cuz he was too busy going on the great site http://enthusology.blogspot.com

Two days after the message Jessie was in bed ready to go to sleep, because he had spent the entire time being entertained on http://enthusology.blogspot.com
When he heard a yell come from is parents room. They were screaming out how awesome Lord Wesley and his site http://enthusology.blogspot.com was.
He ran into the closet and stayed there till it stopped because his parents really get crazy about http://enthusology.blogspot.com.
Then he went into his parents room to find his step father hanging from the ceiling fan. And on is chest was " I saved YOU! By going onto http://enthusology.blogspot.com" carved into his body. (the site name was cut deeper so it would be more noticeable)

This is indeed a true story! Which is why u should do what it says!

If you do not forward it and then repost it and go subscribe to http://enthusology.blogspot.com and visit it three times every day and click on all of the advertisements,
lil Jessica will come after you and take your soul! And then she'll sell it on http://enthusology.blogspot.com

Lil Sarah Kennings did not belive it so she did neither. Now she rots in her grave. And she is very sad that she cannot visit that wonderful site, http://enthusology.blogspot.com

KEEP JESSICA'S STORY ALIVE AND FORWARD IT TO EVERYONE ON YOUR LIST AND SUBSCRIBE TO http://enthusology.blogspot.com AND VISIT IT THREE TIMES A DAY AND CLICK ON ALL OF THE ADVERTISEMENTS YOU SEE. IF YOU DONT SHE WILL COME, COME AND GET YOU IN YOUR SLEEP. SHE WAITS IN YOUR CLOSET TILL YOUR SHE WAITS TO COME IN YOUR DREAMS.

YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES. START FORWARDING AND SUBSCRIBING AND VISITING AND CLICKING ON ALL OF THE ADVERTISEMENTS.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

A homage to Ann Coulter: Qrazy Quotes and Qrazy PiQtures

2009-06-19T17:16:00.000-07:00

These are things that Ann Coulter has actually written or said.

"We just want Jews to be perfected, as they say." --arguing that it would be better if we were all Christian

"If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president. It's kind of a pipe dream, it's a personal fantasy of mine, but I don't think it's going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women. It also makes the point, it is kind of embarrassing, the Democratic Party ought to be hanging its head in shame, that it has so much difficulty getting men to vote for it. I mean, you do see it's the party of women and 'We'll pay for health care and tuition and day care -- and here, what else can we give you, soccer moms?'"

"If I'm going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I'll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot."

"I was going to have a few comments about John Edwards but you have to go into rehab if you use the word faggot." --at the annual Conservative Political Action Conference

"I'm more of a man than any liberal."

"These broads are millionaires, lionized on TV and in articles about them, reveling in their status as celebrities and stalked by grief parrazies. I have never seen people enjoying their husband's deaths so much." -on 9/11 widows who have been critical of the Bush administration

"We need to execute people like (John Walker Lindh) in order to physically intimidate liberals."

"Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots."

"Liberals are stalwart defenders of civil liberties -- provided we're only talking about criminals."

"The New York Times editorial page is like a Ouija board that has only three answers, no matter what the question. The answers are: higher taxes, more restrictions on political speech and stricter gun control."

"The swing voters -- I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster."

"I'm here, I'm not queer, and I'm not going away."
Lou Dobbs Tonight
On Godless: The Church of Liberalism (2006)

"I think the government should be spying on all Arabs, engaging in torture as a televised spectator sport, dropping daisy cutters wantonly throughout the Middle East and sending liberals to Guantanamo."

"Being nice to people is, in fact, one of the incidental tenets of Christianity (as opposed to other religions whose tenets are more along the lines of 'kill everyone who doesn't smell bad and doesn't answer to the name Mohammed')."

"The New York Times editorial page is like a Ouija board that has only three answers, no matter what the question. The answers are: higher taxes, more restrictions on political speech and stricter gun control."

"The Democrats are giving aid and comfort to the enemy for no purpose other than giving aid and comfort to the enemy. There is no plausible explanation for the Democrats' behavior other than that they long to see U.S. troops shot, humiliated, and driven from the field of battle. They fill the airwaves with treason, but when called to vote on withdrawing troops, disavow their own public statements. These people are not only traitors, they are gutless traitors."

"The swing voters -- I like to refer to them as the idiot voters because they don't have set philosophical principles. You're either a liberal or you're a conservative if you have an IQ above a toaster."

Guest Columnist Ann Coulter: Fret no longer my fellow Christians, a solution has been found!

2009-06-15T23:42:00.000-07:00

We could round up all of the Gypsies, the Jews, the disabled, the mentally deficient, the intellectuals, the Communists, the Catholics, the gays, and all the rest of the sub-humans, too, and put them in work camps, right?

We could tell them they are taking showers and gas them instead, then make soap out of their bodies and lampshades out of their skin.

We could call it "The Final Solution to the Non-Christian Problem."

Sounds like a winner to me!

LEISURE WORLD- "Where people wait to die"

2009-06-15T23:29:00.000-07:00

DeanHannity from the Hannity&Hannity&Hannity Show: It's not Global Warming like those Liberals and scientists want you to believe!It's Global Cooling!

2009-06-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

You see, President Obama and these liberal twats and, pfff, get this, scientists, want you to believe that the Earth is heating up due to carbon dioxide emissions. COULD YOU BELIEVE THAT!? Well, some mother****ing idiots can, apparently. Did you see that picture up there? See it? Well, that's just further proof that these Democrats are morons full of bullshit that will only persuade terrorists that our country is weakening. You know what, just because of you morons out there, I'll give you another fact. In 1940, temperatures were at 175 degrees Fahrenheit all year round!!! But now, it's on an average of 70-80 degrees! This just further proves my point, that the earth is COOLING! See, God hates it when we don't release enough pollution and carbon dioxide into the air, when our values in society are decaying, and terrorists are elected for President, so he's been decreasing the world's temperatures ever since Jesus died (that really pissed off God too). So, this is my message to all of you folks: burn as much oil as you can, buy as many guns and trucks as you can to stimulate the economy, and teabag these politicians. Good night.
Sincerely Yours,
Dean Hannity, From the Hannity&Hannity&Hannity Show on
Box News

Interview with Saint Professor Doctor Abraham-Moses Jewish Article: How much of the media do Liberal Jews control?

2009-06-12T17:57:00.000-07:00

Guest Saint Professor Doctor Abraham-Moses Jewish protests that Jews control only 91% of the media to Ann Coulter’s statement that “Jews control all of the media”, which is shown by this chart (above left), courtesy of Dean Hannity of Fox News (for full article, wait three days for our full English translation).
And this chart(above right) represents the key demographic of Jews that control the media.

Junior Deputy Assistant to Assistant of Junior Co-Manager of Video Game Critiquing writes: Kingdom Hearts? Is it awful, or misunderstood?

2009-06-06T17:16:00.000-07:00

Kingdom Hearts 1 was a very underrated game. For a children's video game, the plot line, dialogue, and characters were very original. Kingdom Hearts 2, however, was almost the opposite, and its only saving grace was that of Roxas and Namine. Because it is a children's game, and it doesn't really have any form of humor that adults may appreciate, most people tend to laugh at how horrible it is (and, I must admit, the Disney characters were atrocious). However, they do not process that for a video game, this series is good, and I appreciate that. Especially since Tetsuya Nomura payed us 500,000 dollars to write this article.

Your Kingdom Hearts Fan,
The Junior Deputy Assistant to Assistant of Junior Co-Manager of Video Game Critiquing

Junior Deputy Assistant to Assistant Deputy of Co-Administrator Writing: Due to Newness, Enthusology Blog is slightly unorganized...

2009-05-24T00:08:00.000-07:00

To those new readers of this blog and who have not heard of Enthusology, you do not know the extraordinarily high standards of Enthusement. However, to those who do, I am disgusted at the lack of organization. YOU READERS MAKE ME SICK!!! YOU DO NOT DONATE NEARLY ENOUGH MONEY TO LORD WESLEY!!! Do you think he can get by with a team of only 200 employees in a New York penthouse? NO! THAT'S NOT ENOUGH!!! He needs not just millions of dollars per week, he needs BILLIONS of DOLLARS!!! WHILE YOU FAT PIGS ARE ROLLING IN YOUR GREASY MEAT, WE'RE SAVING LIVES BY TAKING PEOPLE OFF OF THEIR MEDICATIONS SO THEY CAN PROPERLY GET IN SYNC WITH ENTHUSE!!! HOW ELSE SHALL WE MANIPULATE THE MASSES WITHOUT MONEY!!!? So please, donate more by contacting us at our new e-mail, which should have been created yesterday... hmm...

Guest Columnist: Douchebag De Withaguitar writes new National Anthem

2009-05-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

Oh, dude, like, I read this random question "Compose the lyrics to a new national anthem that features an animal sound at least once", and, dude, I thought, what a great new idea for a song! And since songs increase enthuse I thought it would be totally cool. Here's, like, what I wrote, pretty much, :
LET THE EAGLE'S TSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER
RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!!
O'er the mountains,
O'er the plains,
I love my land,
Almost as much
as Jeeeeeesuuuuus,
AAAAAND GOOOOOOOOD*cough* I MEAN WESLEY!!!
PLEASE, PRAISE WESLEY!
BLESS AMERICAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

~Lord Wesley says-
"I'm sorry Douchebag, but you briefly mentioned how much you love God and Jesus, so now you have to die. MWAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Equations for increasing Enthusment

2009-05-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

y=(2(.00001(x))+.0000314(x))-(1.0002(.00003x)+.0000162(x))

where y is the percentage by which your enthusement increases, and x is the amount of dollars you donate to Lord Wesley. That's right, donate all the money you can get! You can save money that should be aiding Lord Wesley by: not having that tumor removed, selling your organs, robbing an old folk's home, shoplifting, selling crystal meth to minors, stealing money from a volunteer organization, blackmailing a Congressman, and many more; you just have to be creative!

Your Enthusement Introductory Information

2009-05-23T22:03:00.000-07:00

Enthusology
Introduction

Let's face it, thinking for yourself is overrated. Are you tired of the conflicting ideologies, hypocrisy, stupidity, misunderstanding, unoriginalties, and all the other faults of humanity that are a result of individuality? Well, here is your solution, which will result in a utopia ruled from a deluded human playing divinity. Yes, it will have some negative consequences, but it will be far better than Orwell's 1984 or Huxley's Brave New World or even today's contemporary society. Anyways, all utopias have some flaws, let's just be glad this one will stay afloat.
Cheers!

Chapter 1: Edicts

I.You shalt not profane the name of Al Gore or Barack Obama.
II. You shalt dislike Rush Limbaugh and Ron Paul.
III. Praise John McCain for his accomplishments!
IV. You shalt not accept any other ideologies except those of Enthusology
V. You shalt donate 15% or more of your monthly income to Lord Wesley.

That is all.

Chapter 2: Knowledges
1. Lord Wesley is the founder of the church/religion/cult/society/fellowship of enthusology&enthusement. He possesses the highest level of enthuse energy possible and is at one with enthuse, and has attained the highest stage of enthusement.
2. All humans are endowed with expression, creativity, and sentient thought. These elements that some say make up the soul are all part of one thing: Imagination. Imagination is the primary component of enthusing and all humans possess a degree of potential for wielding Imagination.
3. Imagination in its more powerful forms is expressed in Art, Writing, and Music. Imagination in its most powerful forms allow the wielder the following: immortality, psychokinesis, teleportation, time travel, and influencing and dominating human&animal thoughts and actions.
4.Imagination and Enthusement of individuals may be increased by joining the Church/Religion/Cult/Society/Fellowship of Enthusology&Enthusement, living by its ideals, being like Wesley as much as possible, thinking about how amazing Wesley is, trying to think like Wesley, ask yourself, “WWW? What Would Wesley Want?”, giving Wesley lavish gifts or lots of money, obeying Wesley, converting others to Enthusology, being mean to people who don't obey Wesley or share Enthusology's ideologies, creating idols of Wesley and worshiping them, becoming a vegetarian/vegan, helping humanity in general, never killing (or harming) anyone except those Wesley tells/allows you to kill, being polite in general to people, being nice to animals (cats especially), adopting a cat as a pet, boycotting products made in foreign countries that are weakening our economy, joining a labor union, promoting objects to be exported so the economy will be stimulated, being aesthetic, appreciating beauty, appreciating art, music, writing and gardening (gardening especially), appreciating witticisms and epigrams, basically promoting and appreciating everything good about humans and life, and promoting Wesley's Utopia where everything will only have traces of unpleasantness to make everything more pleasant.

That is all.