ChristWire

Do Married Women Have A Sole Sovereignty to their Womb?

Mike Collins — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 10:01:11 +0000

Hell no. Pardon my French, but as long as a woman’s lazy butt is going to limit me to one female, eat my food, spend my money and effect my day, I got some ownership if my seed ends up in her. Women, face it, when you get married you do not have sovereignty over your womb. When you enter marriage, you become one. Just like I would be looked down on if one day I kicked my wife and [...]

National Enquirer Cover Shows Whitney Houston Dead Body in Casket At Funeral

Karen Gray — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 09:38:07 +0000

The controversial cover of the latest National Enquirer has a photograph of Whitney Houston’s dead body, allegedly taken by an unknown source at the passed singers invite-only funeral. CONTROVERSY: National Inquirer Publishes This Photo Of Whitney Houston’s Body Laying in Casket Details that the magazine will reveal include Whitney Houston wearing over $500,000 worth of clothing, being buried in gold slippers and wearing a purple dress that she really liked. The photograph’s appearance is not being taken well by fans [...]

Afghans Burn ‘Black Dog’ Effigy of President Obama

Abe — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 09:20:40 +0000

As if we needed more proof of why we must make Afghanistan a US territory, the people of the country continue to defy US authority. In this image, we can see the people of Afghanistan have made themselves an effigy of our US president and are calling him ‘black dog’. As Americans, we cannot stand for such things and should drop 5 times more bombs all over them until they apologize.

The Blue Skinned Family Fugate: Is There A Human Race of Blue People in Kentucky?

Abe — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 09:01:51 +0000

As many of you know, America is the great melting pot. My Republican forefathers like Abraham Lincoln was among the first to recognize that blacks should get paid to help do their easy labor jobs. We happily invite Asians, Mexicans, Indians (the whoo-whoo feather type, not the curry scented nuke builders) and even Aussies into this great country. But today America has a proud announcement to the world: we are home to a new species of human. They are called [...]

Gary Cass outs Gay Strongmen, Wants Voters To Know Romney Sacrifices Illegal Mexicans to Mammon

Lurlene Tyranna Shores — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 08:31:53 +0000

Scoffing at their strong Anti-Abortion message, Free Mason Robot "Mormon, it rhymes with Mammon" Mitt, is facing family man Rick Santorum and multiple family man Newt Gingrich. Both Catholics, Gary Cass and I agree that they would have a thing or two to say on the subject of Mitt sacrificing equally Catholic mexicans on the altar of mergers.

The Spork: Hell’s Shovel

Kelvin Fortescue — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 07:50:40 +0000

What have both Newt Gingrich and Bill Clinton put in their filthy mouths? Answer: The spork!

Great Moments in Black History: Ali-Wepner

August Weisz — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 07:38:21 +0000

(chrisTwire Sports)— Muhammad Ali….. In 1975, Muhammad Ali was 33 years old and world heavyweight boxing champion. With a record of 45 and 2, in 47 professional fights and 37 amateur ones he had only been knocked down 2 times. Ali was a well-known draft dodger, who refused to go to Vietnam, because he “opposed violence”. Chuck Wepner….. In 1975, Chuck Wepner was 41 years old, overweight, out of shape, and well past his prime. He was a former U.S. [...]

chrisTwire Asks: African Americans About Black History Month

August Weisz — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 05:33:13 +0000

“chrisTwire asks” is a new regular feature where we ask underwhelming Americans questions about subjects that may interest or challenge them. Most of the topics and questions are user submitted. If you would like to suggest a topic or question, feel free to submit one via Facebook, email, or if you attend a local fellowship you will notice that starting last Sunday, new “chrisTwire asks” receptacles were placed in the foyer. Questions are then asked to the target audience via [...]

God Strikes Missouri with 4.0 Earthquake, Missouri Tigers Moving to the SEC To Blame

Joe P. Reagan — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:57:45 +0000

The KU Jayhawks tend to dominate Missouri in every sport The Big 12 conference of the NCAA is a longstanding Midwest tradition, the rivalry of many schools going back to times of 1800s. Perhaps there is no tighter rivalry in college than that of the University of Missouri versus the University of Kansas. Missouri recently decided to betray their rivalry and sports conference by moving to the SEC, the lowly division of collegiate academia. If you want to know the general clientele of SEC school [...]

Mighty God Strikes Missouri with 4.0 Earthquake, 4 Other States Still Tremble with Fear and Gays to Blame!

Reverend Clyde H. Higgins — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 19:24:43 +0000

Tusken, Missouri – Oh ye sinful land of sodomite America, for it is written! 1 Samuel 14:15 And there was a panic in the camp, in the field, and among all the people. The garrison and even the raiders trembled, the earth quaked, and it became a very great panic. Potential Tusken raiders of homosexuality flee the wrath of God’s earthquake. National gay rights activists seeking gay marriage in all states to blame. What man can be more SINFUL than [...]