Christopher Cummings

I love sad songs

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Fri, 23 Aug 2013 16:05:00 +0000

I've always liked sad songs. For as long as I can remember, I've connected to those songs more than others. There's just something about the honesty and the emotion that comes through them. I'm sure that preference is what eventually led to my love for screamo music.

But my first favorite sad song was far from screamo. It was actually in a genre of music I wouldn't be caught dead listening to anymore. It was a song called "Roses For Mama" by C.W. McCall. It's this country song from the 1970s that I would walk around listening to on my little cassette player with a built-in mic.

A friend introduced me to it when I was 6 or 7. It's this song about a guy who is going on vacation but decides to go to Florida to party instead of visiting his mom. As he's driving, he remembers that it's her birthday, so he stops at a flower shop to "wire" her some flowers. While he's there, he sees this boy crying and the boy tells him he wants to buy roses for his mom for her birthday, but he doesn't have any money. So the guy tells the flower shop owner to give the boy whatever he wants and that he'll pay for it. So the boy thanks him and runs out of the shop. As the guy drives out of town, he's sees the boy kneeling by a grave and realizes that the boy wanted roses for his dead mom. So the guy turns around, goes back to the flower shop and tells the lady he'll take the flowers to his mom himself.

It's a pretty sappy song, sure, but something about it hit me pretty hard even at a young age. Here's the song if you can stand to listen to it (I can't anymore, it's pretty awful):

And while my musical taste has moved about as far away from country as it possibly can, I still find myself connecting to these sad, even depressing, songs more than any others. I like sad lyrics. I like sad instrumentals. I like emotional singing.

I think it's because I find sadness to be my most genuine emotion. Most of the songs I've written myself have been the result of some sort of sadness or depression I was experiencing at the time. I've written some happy songs, but they even have some element of sadness to them.

I used to think that was a little weird, but I've begun to realize that maybe it's normal. Maybe it's weird NOT to be sad. Maybe it's weird to LOVE being a part of this world.

I think God wired us to not be happy with the way the world is. He wired us to desire and long for something different; for something more than we'll be able to find in this world.

I'm not sad all the time. There are tons of things in life that bring me joy. I've found that God has made a way for us to be content within the world and experience the joy in the things He created, but He purposely left that hole in us that only He can fill. A happiness that we will only experience with Him.

Sad songs remind me of that hole. And they remind me that one day, I'll be in a place where that hole won't exist.

Is God an extracurricular activity?

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Tue, 22 Jan 2013 20:25:00 +0000

I do a lot of work with the student ministry at my church. Whenever there's an event or a gathering coming up that I'm trying to get students to, there's invariably one excuse that they feel trumps all else:

"I have homework..."

Or, "I have a test..."

And there's no good way for me to counter that argument. School is important, and it's very likely that their parents and their teachers have made it clear to them that school is most important. I could tell them that their relationship with God and other Christians is vastly more important than school, but then I might be leading them to disobey their parents. And lets be honest, some students are just dying for somebody to open that door for them.

But I do really think it's an issue that we make school the number one priority for kids. Again, I'm not downplaying its importance, but there are surely more important things. And for any Christian parents, you would think it'd be clear that your child's relationship with their Savior and the Creator of the universe would be more important than algebra, even just slightly. But sure enough, the philosophy tends to be, "I'll join that study/go to that event/read my Bible if I finish my homework first."

Active faith gets treated like an extracurricular activity. It's good to go to, but only if you get your real work out of the way first.

But this doesn't just stop at students. I think this mindset affects a lot of us, including myself. We fill our days with work and other things, and kind of leave whatever scraps of time we have for God. We don't make spending time with Him the priority in our life. Whether it's going to church, participating in a community group, praying or reading our Bible - we make it a secondary priority.

If we really made God our primary priority, it would mean making our faith the real work and everything else the secondary priority. And that might mean missing a phone call at work to volunteer in a ministry. Or taking a couple hours off from studying to go to a community group.

Otherwise, how is God different from any other extracurricular activity?

Non-political thoughts on politics

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Wed, 07 Nov 2012 17:35:00 +0000

I voted for Romney. Not because I like him or think he's the answer to our problems, but just because he isn't Obama. I haven't been too thrilled with some of the stuff that has happened the past four years, so my vote reflected that.

When I woke up this morning to find that Obama had been reelected, I reacted in a way that reflected how important this outcome was to me - I shrugged.

I know this makes it seem like I'm apathetic, but the opposite couldn't be more true. I have very strong opinions on politics and the direction of our government. And I could get all worked up about this loss and get on Facebook and post a bunch of outlandish comments about how horrible of a decision this was, but what good would that do?

Obama was reelected. No amount of whining, complaining, insulting or arguing will change that - so why bother?

As I've gotten older, I've realized that the government can really only affect a few minor areas of my life, at least in this country (thank God). So even if I do end up seeing less money in my paycheck, or I end up spending more money on healthcare (or whatever else might happen) - my happiness isn't tied to that. My contentment and ability to enjoy life has very little to do with who has been elected President.

Do I think things could be better in this country? Of course. But things could definitely be a lot worse.

So for those of you who were extremely happy with the outcome of the election - I'm happy for you. I'm hoping that one day I'll be able to cast a vote for a Presidential candidate I'm excited about.

But for now, I'm just going to carry on with my life as normal. I'm going to work hard, enjoy my family and friends, and pursue a true Happiness that certainly doesn't rely politics (or on anything else that the world controls).

The beginning of my married life

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 17:58:00 +0000

Well, I got married!

We've actually been married a little over two months now and things are going quite well. We did so much pre-marital preparation that we (so far) haven't found ourselves surprised by a whole lot.

On my part, it's been a bit of a struggle handling the way I do things versus the way Jenna does things (but we knew that was going to be the case). I just do my best to look at the situation first and say, "Does this REALLY have to be my way? Or do I just WANT it to be my way?" For the most part, I think I've been doing a decent job deciphering between the two.

Before getting married, I noticed I was kind of mourning my independence. I kept thinking about how I wouldn't really have my "own" space anymore and stuff like that. I knew it was a selfish desire and not a huge concern, but the thought still sat in the back of my mind. But I've found over the last couple months that I don't mind sharing my space. I don't mind having Jenna there when I go to bed and when I wake up in the morning. Actually, I rather enjoy sharing all that with her.

Same thing with money. Anyone who knows me knows how anal I am about money stuff. I'm that guy that monitors his credit score and plays all the games to maintain responsible finances. It kind of scared me merging all that with someone else. But, so far, it hasn't been a huge issue. Jenna understands my desire to monitor all that and lets me take care of it. Honestly, I think she prefers not having to worry about it.

So married life is great. It's obvious that God fulfills his promises of marriage when it's done the way He designed it. I'm looking forward to all the things He has in store for us!

Can't live on pie charts alone

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 19:22:00 +0000

I used to be so much better at updating this blog! I suppose my time has just been jam packed with a ton of different things lately.

Actually, here's a fancy little chart to show you what has been occupying my time the last couple weeks:

The saddest thing about this pie chart (besides the fact that I spend nearly a third of my life sleeping and I still feel exhausted) is how little time I'm taking to personally work on my relationship with God. It's so small that it doesn't even count as a full 1%!

Now, sure, I'm working on that relationship in other things I do throughout the week. I experience God while serving in student ministry in ways I never believed possible. And part of the "Spending Time with Friends" includes my weekly small group, which obviously has the purpose of building our relationship with God. And during my driving time, I listen to godly audiobooks and podcasts (go me!).

But I even spend more time eating than I do talking to God. And that's saying a lot because I'm an extremely fast eater. I'm obviously reminded of what Jesus said to Satan while being tempted in Matthew 4:4:

Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God."

I'm living on working, eating, wedding planning, sleeping, moderately exercising and zoning out (I think that's what makes up the ??? time). But if Jesus is telling me I can't live on that stuff alone, why don't I make time for what will sustain me?

A few weeks ago, I decided to start waking up at 5:15 in the morning, go for a run, then come home and read from the Bible and pray before getting ready for work. I loved it! My body felt good, my soul felt good. It was good!

That lasted about a week. Then I started hitting the snooze button up until I absolutely had to be getting ready for work.

It's not that I don't enjoy spending time with God; I love when I do. It's just a lot easier for me to say, "Well, I'll make time for God later. He doesn't sleep or anything, so we can make that work once all this other stuff is out of the way." But, obviously, that time goes to something else (probably sleep).

Jesus told us the two greatest commandments were to love God and to love people. Based on my pie chart, I'm not making enough time to love God or people. And I could easily give tons of excuses why, but I'm pretty sure none of them are more important than obeying the two greatest commandments.

What does your pie chart look like?

I am 24

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Fri, 13 May 2011 02:20:00 +0000

I wrote this the night before my birthday, but Blogger was down for maintenance and I couldn't post it.

I’m turning 24 in a couple hours.

I can remember when even the idea of being in my twenties seemed like such a far off and foreign concept. I remember dreaming of who I would be, where I would live, what I would be doing.

Now I’m breaking into my mid-twenties and a lot of those unknowns are becoming realities. I’m getting married in just a few months. It looks like I’ll be completing the purchase of my first home next month. I have a job that I enjoy and, overall, a life I like living.

I’ve had a lot of people tell me I’m too young to be making all these moves. A lot of people that are telling me to hold off and “enjoy life” while I’m still young.

But I don’t feel that young. I feel like I’m moving into the part of my life I dreamed about when I was half this age. I can imagine the 12-year-old me saying, “What are you waiting for? This is what we’ve wanted!”

And now that I’m arriving in the place I’ve been pursuing since I was young, I feel like I am exactly where I should be. As if all the years before were to get me where I am today.

Some people see growing up as stages of transition. You were once a child, now you need to stop being a child and start acting like a teenager. Now you need to start acting like a college student. Now you need to start acting like a young adult. Now you need to stop playing around and get married.

But I don’t think growing up is about killing who you were or letting go of your past. It’s about building upon it.

When I was younger, I dreamed of growing up one day and having a career that I was good at, a family that I loved and a life with a purpose. I’ve worked for years to be in the place for that dream to be realized.

Some people want to stay young, avoid responsibility and keep to a place that makes them feel comfortable because they know they can always escape it if they want to. And I get the appeal of that; I understand the benefit of not “tying yourself down” somewhere.

It might be a tempting proposition, but it’s also an empty promise. I’m not about to let prolonged adolescence stand in the way of the vision I’ve had for my life since I was an adolescent.

Don’t get me wrong; I understand that people grow at different rates. And there’s nothing wrong with being single, but don’t keep yourself there in an attempt to hold onto your youth. Don’t limit the possibilities for your life because you’re afraid to step into a place that requires a commitment.

When we are children, we’re captivated by the potential that the future has for us. We fantasize about what we’ll be like when we’re older. And when we get to the place to realize that, we often want to go back to being children so we can keep that reality at a distance.

Getting older doesn’t mean losing that excitement and wonder we had as children. It just means we can finally be the person we once only dreamed about becoming.

"When I became a man I put away childish things; including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." -C.S. Lewis

Joined together

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 21:18:00 +0000

I proposed to my girlfriend a few weeks ago.

We've been dating for a little over two years, but she's been my best friend since we met in 2006. I think the fact that we became such good friends before pursuing a romantic relationship has made our current state possible. We began by loving each other for who we are, what our personalities are like, what our passions are. The romantic feelings just followed suit.

For years, I wondered and worried about who I was going to marry. I was afraid I'd marry the wrong person or miss the opportunity to marry the right person. When Jenna and I started talking about marriage, none of those thoughts entered my mind; I had a sense of peace and assurance that she was the girl I should marry.

I'm not saying everything in our relationship has been 100% certain or that our future is going to be easy and without conflict. But I do believe that we are both fully committed to each other and to God to make this marriage a representation of what God intended.

I'm excited for the planning stages and the wedding day, but I'm really looking forward to the many years of partnership and our adventure of starting a family. I'm excited to enter into this covenant with Jenna and with God. I'm excited to love her and sacrifice of myself the way Christ sacrificed for His bride.

So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Matthew 19:6

Parenting: The Miley Alternative

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 21:41:00 +0000

Last week, I heard way too much about Miley Cyrus being in a video smoking a bong. There was lots of speculation as to whether she was smoking weed or salvia. My initial reaction was, "Who cares?"

The problem is not that Miley did something stupid and had it broadcasted across the Internet; people do that all the time. The problem is that kids look up to Miley. That's a lot of responsibility for someone so young.

We're constantly surprised when celebrities screw up. Last year, people couldn't stop talking about how disappointed they were in Tiger Woods for cheating on his wife multiple times. Who would their children look up to now that this "good man" had sinned so badly?

The problem is that parents are allowing celebrities to be role models for their children. They're allowing someone they have never spoken with to have a profound influence on their kids. Instead of taking on the responsibility themselves of being a positive role model and introducing people into their children's lives that will have a positive impact on them, so many parents are content with their kids idolizing these public figures they don't know.

I'm in no way condoning the actions of Miley and Tiger, or any other celebrities for that matter. I think it's unfortunate that Miley seems to be heading down the path so many other child-stars have taken. It's unfortunate that Tiger couldn't be the golfing good-guy everyone thought he was. But we have to remember that these celebrities are humans that are bound to screw up, just as we are.

So hang out with your kids, be part of their life. Get them involved in groups where they'll have other positive influences from other adults and peers alike. Don't cater to their obsession with a particular celebrity; explain to them that a celebrity is a person just like they are. Be the role model they need. Be the person they look up to. Be the positive influence that helps steer them down the right path.

Then next time a celebrity is exposed doing something you disapprove of, it won't be an issue that impacts your child's growth.

I'm the guy with the critical eye

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Wed, 10 Nov 2010 02:21:00 +0000

I'm overly critical.

Surprised? Probably not if you've ever read this blog.

I wasn't surprised either. It's one of those things I've always known about myself, but never felt comfortable admitting to. It actually took seeing someone I really respect come out and admit the same thing for me to feel okay with it.

When I was in Seattle a couple months ago, we visited Mars Hill Church. During his talk, Mark Driscoll went off on a short tangent about how he finds himself annoyed a lot by little things. He said, "I am always constantly annoyed because I'm the guy with the critical eye. I notice everything that's wrong with everything. So I am always annoyed, and I've had to repent of being annoyed."

Immediately, I thought, "Oh my gosh. That's me!" And I could tell my friends were thinking the same thing.

So over the past couple months, this is something I've kind of come to terms with. Don't get me wrong, I'm not particularly proud of it, but understanding this part of my personality is definitely essential to my growth.

I think that people don't understand that I am not just overly critical of other people, I'm extremely critical of myself. I won't call myself a perfectionist, because I don't think I am, but I definitely set high standards for myself in anything and everything that I do. I'm annoyed with myself when I fail. I'm annoyed when I don't live up to the standards I set for myself.

So what I'm finding is that being the "guy with the critical eye" has it's pros and cons. It means when I do something, I do it well. I don't mean that sound self-appreciating, but when I do something, I don't consider it finished until it meets my expectations. At work, my coworkers know when they ask me to do something, it's going to be done well.

On the con side, I often extend those expectations to other people. I tend to expect more from people than they expect of themselves. That leads to me being annoyed that they aren't at least trying to live up to higher standards. So when someone does something stupid, says something immature or falls for something, I'm annoyed. When they speak or write improperly, I'm annoyed.

I'm not going to continue listing annoyances because that would be annoying.

I don't think it's an accident or mistake that I'm so critical, I just need to learn how to effectively direct that criticism. I know that petty things don't matter; I know they're not worth being annoyed over. And for the most part, I'm able to contain myself and easily get past those minor annoyances. I realize that it's impractical for me to extend my personal standards to other people (let alone strangers I don't even know).

But I don't think it's a bad thing that I set these standards for myself (even though I fall short of them). God demands that we do our best in everything we do. Whether it's something I do at work, something I do at church, something I do for friends/family, something I do for a complete stranger or something I do only in the eyes of God, I should be striving for excellence. That doesn't mean doing the bare minimum or doing just enough to get a pat on the back, it means doing everything as best I can.

I think that's something we can all improve on.

Not that I'm criticizing or anything.

Walls are meant to be broken down

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Wed, 08 Sep 2010 17:30:00 +0000

I was recently speaking with a friend about how he feels his relationship with God has kind of hit a wall. His faith has kind of been at a standstill and he feels really disconnected from God. He keeps wondering what he needs to do to allow for God's will to be done in his life. He feels lost, confused and lonely.

I think that's a place most Christians have been before. There are seasons of our lives where we're just bursting with fulfillment from our relationship with God. We feel like things are figured out, we feel that we're doing God's will and are in His favor. Our path seems clear, and we're walking confidently with our head held high.

Then we have seasons like my friend is experiencing. You kind of feel empty. You're questioning things you thought you knew. You're confused about where God wants you and what He wants you to do. You feel alone.

I've had that season a few times in my life. It's extremely discouraging and challenges your relationship with God and your relationship with others.

When I find myself hitting that wall, here's what I do:

Pray

I know that seems obvious, but when you feel disconnected from God, it can be the hardest thing to pursue.

Pray that God's will is done in your life and pray that you will accept His will. One of the biggest problems when we pray is that we're constantly praying for specifics and hoping that God will yield to our will.

We need to pray for the ability to discern and submit to God's will. We need to make ourselves available to follow His will.

Bible

Read the Bible.

We're always asking for God to speak to us, but we're not always making ourselves available to hear from Him. God can reveal things to us through His Word.

Before you sit down to read, pray for God to reveal His will through your reading. And when you're done reading, talk to Him again!

I'm not saying that every time you pray for revelation and open your Bible, you're going to be slapped with some crazy epiphany. But there have definitely been times when I have no clue what's going on in my life, I sit down and read one passage and, suddenly, things begin making sense.

Talk

When you're feeling stuck in your faith, it's important to talk it out with someone who can give you some wise insight. When you're looking for someone to talk to, it's important that they know God and that they know you. It has to be both, not just one or the other.

God can reveal things to us through people He has placed in our lives.

Worship

This is the hardest thing for me to do when I feel disconnected from God, but it's so crucial. I'd say the most important time to worship God is when we don't feel like doing it.

I know that, overall, this is nothing profound, but when we find ourselves just staring at what seems to be an impenetrable wall, we sometimes forget the basics.

The best part about reaching a wall in your faith is breaking it down. Some of my most fulfilling times of growth in my relationship with God were the result of my faith being tested and obstacles being overcome.

So if you're feeling disconnected from God or feel like you've reached a wall in your relationship that you just can't get around, remember that God doesn't let those walls appear to hinder your faith. It's not meant to be a permanent roadblock that you can't get past. It's not meant to make you feel alone or abandoned. God doesn't want you to just search for a way around the wall or turn around and walk back.

Those walls are meant to be broken down.

Hello, Seattle

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:24:00 +0000

Ever since I was about 16 or 17, I've felt drawn to the city of Seattle. I hadn't been there before. I didn't really know what the city was like or what made it so special, I just knew I wanted to be there.

At the beginning of August, I finally went to Seattle. Two friends, my girlfriend and I flew out for one week. We spent the first couple days hiking and camping in Mt. Rainier National Park, then spent the rest of the time just exploring the city. Was it everything I hoped it would be?

Yes.

I absolutely loved being there. I loved the weather, the people, the culture and the location. I loved that you could look one way and see Puget Sound (part of the Pacific Ocean) and then look the other way and see the Cascade mountains. I loved that I could walk down the Pike Place Market and see a bunch of people selling local produce, things they had made and other unique items. I loved how at night time, you could walk around and hear music being played all over the place. I loved being able to get anywhere without a car.

Seattle pretty much has taken the two of the things I love most, music and the outdoors, and put them in one place. There's music everywhere, in the form of concerts, museums, record labels and street musicians. And the Cascade mountains are just a short drive away. The hiking we did in Mt. Rainier was some of the best hiking I've ever done. There was so much amazing scenery. It definitely proved to be one of the most beautiful places I've ever been.

I am almost sure that living in Seattle would be the optimal place for me. The only problem is how many people I would leave behind here. I don't want to be a plane ride away from my family, I want to be a short drive away. I want my future kids to know my family. I want a long relationship with my friends.

So, right now, I'm not sure how feasible moving there would be. But it's not all that bad.

One thing I realized while in Seattle was just how much it reminded me of Ann Arbor, where I live now. Of course, Seattle is much larger, but the culture was very similar. And in Ann Arbor, I still have to deal with crazy snowfalls and there are no mountain ranges nearby, but I suppose it's a good Seattle-substitute for the time being.

I'm sure there's a reason why I'm so drawn to Seattle, and I intend to find out why. This trip was just the first step, I'm sure. And while I'm content where I am right now, I'm looking forward to whatever the future holds, whether it happens in Michigan or Washington.

I will not stick vegetables in your face

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 20:02:00 +0000

When you spend a week with middle schoolers and half your meals are different than theirs, lots of questions come up.

I tried my best to balance being honest with them about my decision to not eat meat while being sure not to push any sort of agenda. My conviction and decision to stop eating meat was a decision made through a lot of prayer and research, not from someone pushing their beliefs on me. I would never want to force this conviction on anyone.

Some of the kids thought I was crazy, but most accepted it for what it is; one small aspect of my life.

I find it odd that more people can't recognize that.

I'm not the type of guy that says, "OH, GROSS!" when I see someone eating meat. I don't walk around with shirts that say things like "100% Vegetarian" or "Meat Is Murder." I don't introduce myself as, "Hey, I'm Chris. I don't eat meat."

But some people pretend that I do. I get it, people are going to make jokes about my choice. That's just what's going to happen. But there are some people that feel like they need to comment on my meal choice every single time I eat with them. They tell me how delicious their meat is and how I'm really missing out.

I can't even imagine the reactions I would get if every time I ate with someone, I told them they shouldn't eat meat. And then took my vegetables on a fork and stuck them in their face saying, "Doesn't that look good?!"

Now, this is not everyone. There are a lot of people in my life that just accept my decision and move on. And there are some that just want to know my reasons. I really don't mind sitting down and explaining my reasons. I don't mind dialoguing and talking about it, but the badgering and snide remarks are tiring.

Of all the convictions and missions in my life, vegetarianism is very low on my list of priorities. There are so many things more important to me. I don't think that eating meat is sinful. I don't think it's disgusting. I don't think it makes you a bad person. I saw a system that bothered me, I read what the Bible said about it, I prayed, and made a decision not to support a system that I believe is wrong.

If I were to die tomorrow, I don't want people thinking, "He didn't eat meat." I don't want what I do/do not eat to define my life or my personality. Does anyone want their life defined by food? There are just so many things more important than that!

If you want to sit down and talk to me about my decision, I'll gladly tell you everything. If you want me to cook you some meatless chili so you can see how amazing it is, I would love to.

But if we're hanging out and I don't grab a hamburger, is it really worth commenting on? Am I making comments about your food choice? Am I telling you all the reasons you shouldn't eat it?

What you eat is your decision, and I respect that.

A few things I learned spending a week with middle schoolers

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 03:08:00 +0000

Last week, I went on a trip to West Virginia with RustProof (the middle school ministry at my church) to paint houses of some less fortunate people. Six months ago, in an attempt to interest the 7th graders in my small group, I told them that I would go if any of them signed up. At the last minute, one guy did.

At first, I was kind of bummed. I was glad that one of my guys had stepped up and decided to go on the trip, but I selfishly realized that it meant I was going to give up half of my alloted vacation time to go on the trip too. That feeling quickly faded as I realized that even though this was a service trip, it had the potential to be fun. Even though I was really excited during the weeks leading up to the trip, I had no idea how much this one week was going to have an impact on me.

I think it's important for me first to explain why I do this ministry. Middle school was both the biggest turning point and biggest struggle for my spiritual journey. It was the time I really made my faith my own. I began to understand what a relationship with Christ looked like. But this was also the time I got completely turned off to church. I didn't feel like I belonged in church. I didn't feel like it was a place to find acceptance and love. So I stopped going to church until the middle of high school.

I realize now how much more fulfilling and expansive my faith could have been through high school and into college if I had someone there to help foster my spiritual growth. Instead, I went through that period of time trying to do it myself. So I really feel like middle school is such a crucial time for that growth, and I think God has been equipping me to minister to that age group.

So back to the trip. I didn't think that spending a week with a bunch of 12 and 13 year-olds would have such an effect on me. Besides the relationships I built and the work we did, there were a lot of spiritual lessons I learned (and relearned) in our time there:

God is in the silence. We had a discussion with the students about how it's crucial that we take some time to just be silent and listen to God. I realized that I just overload myself with work, hanging out, watching television, etc. I don't take time to just hang out and be with God.

One of the best things about being in the middle of nowhere is that there's absolutely no cell phone service. Normally, I'm tethered to my phone. I'm checking email, texting, facebooking, reading news, etc. When you don't have the Internet or a cell phone, you find a lot more time to spend with God.

We have to insulate ourselves. This doesn't mean we have to cut ourselves off, it just means that the people we spend time with influence who we are. We need to make sure we're engaging in relationships that help us grow.

I have lots of friends that are all in different places emotionally and spiritually. While I love them all, I need to make sure that I have enough relationships that are going to help me grow in my faith, too.

We don't always have to act grown-up. I'm usually pretty reserved. I don't want people to see me as immature or think that I don't "act my age." But this trip (along with other things I've done in this ministry) have really taught me the value of just letting go of that sometimes and just having fun; just acting like a kid.

This trip really reminded me what it was like to be a kid. I know I'm only 23, but you forget that pretty quickly. When everything is about deadlines, bills, email and meetings, it's easy to forget what it's like to just be carefree.

Middle schoolers are awesome and under-estimated. A lot of times when we look at middle school students, we just see drama, immaturity and poor hygiene. But for the most part, they can carry on some pretty legitimate conversations and they're also a lot of fun. Not to mention, when given some direction and proper motivation, they can be extremely focused. These kids worked so hard and put in so much effort to paint houses for people they had never met before. There are so few adults willing to do that.

Too many of us are seeing middle schoolers as a burden instead of a blessing. We're waiting for them to grow out of their awkwardness so they can be "productive." By doing so, we're not only robbing them of value, but we're robbing ourselves of the experiences and memories we can have with them.

This past week, I didn't feel like a babysitter watching some rambunctious kids; I felt like I was hanging out with a whole bunch of my younger brothers and sisters. I was talking to them, listening to their stories, playing basketball with them, teaching them and showing them love and respect.

It ended up being one of the best weeks of my life. I'm so glad that one student took me up on my offer and forced me to give up one week of vacation for a lifetime of memories.

Dealing with change (not the Obama kind)

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 20:39:00 +0000

I have a strange relationship with change. I love it and I hate it. I long for it and I dread it.

I have not lived in the same place for more than a year since I was 17. While moving to a new place is always exciting, I don't feel like I have a home. And, again, this is something I both love and hate. I love that I shake it up a bit each year and move to a new location, find new places to hang out, meet new people, etc. But at the same time, it'd be nice to have a place to really call home. (My mom will tell me that my home is my parents' house, but we all know that's different.)

My feelings on change extend into my relationships, too. Above all things on earth, I value my relationships with people. Relationships are inevitably going to change, sometimes for the better, sometimes for the worse and sometimes with little or no effect. While I love building new relationships and making new friends, I find that I have a hard time letting my existing relationships change (especially for the worse). When I have what I feel is a good relationship, I hate seeing it change to something less than I desire.

I need to learn to accept changing relationships. Just because a relationship might change in a way that I perceive as negative doesn't mean that relationship is dead or dying. It just means it's different. I can't force relationships to be something they're not.

When relationships change for the worse, you can either accept it or reject it. Sometimes, the relationship is worth fighting for. Sometimes, you just have to surrender and let the relationship go where it needs to go.

Neither choice is easy. And the choice is not always ours to make.

“It is always the simple things that change our lives. And these things never happen when you are looking for them to happen. Life will reveal answers at the pace life wishes to do so. You feel like running, but life is on a stroll. This is how God does things.” -Donald Miller

About a dream I had Easter morning

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 13:10:00 +0000

Happy Easter!

I had a pretty awesome and interesting dream last night that I would like to share with all of you:

There were a bunch of people (some people I knew, some I did not) in the humongous mansion and God was there. He told us to cast all the demons out of the house and into the basement. So we were all walking around the house casting hundreds of demons into the basement. It seemed that we did this for several hours. God would walk around and help out those that had trouble with specific demons or whatever.

Once we were finished, God told us all to head home, but to return first thing in the morning. As we got on the freeway, you could still see the house, but it looked completely different. It looked brand new and exciting.

The next morning, we returned to the house, which for some reason now included a rollercoaster! There were tons of people we knew there. We began walking around, up and down all 6 levels, just greeting people and saying hello. I noticed that it was a mix of people I knew that knew Christ and people that didn't. I kept thinking how great the house was without all those demons hanging around causing problems, but I wondered how long it would last. Would something release them? I began to wonder who would be the cause of that happening.

I headed over to one of the side rooms and spoke with a group of people. I checked my phone and noticed I had a bunch of new emails, so I started going through them. There was one email from Comedy Central (for whatever reason), so I clicked on it. It was some video of a stand-up comedian. As soon as I started that video, I heard a loud noise as all the demons began flying out from the basement below.

That's when I woke up.

Strange dream, I know. Here's my interpretation:

I know that I go through times in my life where I really don't think I need Christ. I just think that I've really never done anything that bad, so what am I being saved from? And at the same time, I can be very judgmental of people who have lived lives of deep sin, whether they've been forgiven or not. I guess in this way, I sometimes think of myself as above people. As if, maybe if the world were given to me first, then it wouldn't have been screwed up. Such a humble mindset, right?

I think this dream was telling me that even if we were to start over, someone (all of us) would screw it up. In the dream, it was me that screwed it up. Whatever that stand-up video was about caused me to sin in some way, and the house was brought back to it's original state. While I was walking around wondering who would be the one to cause the fall of that house, I never thought it would be me. I mean, God called me into this house to drive out all the demons, there's no way I could be the cause of them flooding back in. But it was me.

This dream is definitely a great reminder that we as humans cannot live a perfect and sin-free life. But, thankfully, God isn't forcing us to. Even though we have chosen to live life apart from God, He has given us the opportunity to live life with Him through Christ. No matter how many times we fail or how we turn our backs on Him, His Love and Grace will continue to cover us.

Good thing God knows me better than I know myself and loves me just the same.

Learning the hard way is overrated

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Fri, 19 Mar 2010 17:45:00 +0000

This past week has brought increasingly beautiful weather. The sunshine, the melting snow; it's just a great feeling of revival.

I'm still kind of struggling with where I am in my life. On one hand, I feel like I am ready to take progressive steps and reach that "grown up" stage of my life. On the other hand, I want to stay in the young "college" stage of my life.

I think it's because I haven't made very many mistakes with my life.

I don't mean for that to sound arrogant, but I feel it's true. A lot (most) people I know have these mistakes they've made throughout their life that they've learned from. Like, "Oh man, I got so drunk that one time that I ended up sleeping with this random girl, blah blah blah." I don't have those mistakes.

I've always lived a pretty safe life. I grew up in a Christian home and I accepted Christ at a young age. Throughout middle school, high school and college, my faith dictated my actions. I've never been a hardcore partier; I've never had any flings or one-night stands (or even many-night stands). I've never been in financial trouble; I've never tried any drugs. I just never had that big mistake (or series of mistakes) that have made me re-evaluate my life and change for the better.

So every once in a while, I go through a season in my life where I start thinking, "Is it worth it? Is it worth ALWAYS worrying what God thinks about my actions? Do I really need to live this 'safe' life? Am I missing out?" And I start justifying it in ways like, "Well, God gives grace, right? I'll be forgiven. I know a lot of Christians that used to live a sinful life, and now they're fine." Sounds rational, right?

It's also selfish.

And it's not who I am.

I haven't made decisions to live this type of life because I'm afraid of God's punishment. I know I'm forgiven. I know I'm loved. I've made these decisions because I love Christ. I've made these decisions because God knows what's best for me.

Simply following Christ is not difficult, but our society has made it seem like it is. They make it seem like we're giving up everything. We are taught that satisfaction and fulfillment come from temporary things. We're made to believe that the only way to learn is to experience and make mistakes.

Following Christ requires you to see things from a big-picture perspective. It requires you to look past your own understanding and your own timeframe. It requires you to live for a purpose greater than yourself.

If that means foregoing some temporary entertainment in order to find lasting fulfillment and purpose, it's a small price to pay.

The song "Chapter I" by John Reuben has always really resonated with me on this topic. Check it out:

Vicious comfort

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 02:01:00 +0000

I hate when I feel so comfortable with my life. I hate when it feels like I'm just going through the motions. When each day is the same as the last and a template for the next. When each weekend is predictable and ends with a feeling of waste.

But the truth is, I'm a coward. I ask God to shake things up in my life - to offer me new opportunities; ways out of my comfort zone. And when those opportunities are presented, I shy away from them. I make excuses about it not being the right time. I make excuses about the people and things I'll miss. I make excuses that it's just not convenient for anyone.

This perpetuates a vicious circle. I get uncomfortable with the fact that I'm so comfortable with my life -> I look for opportunities to make me uncomfortable -> I get uncomfortable with the idea of leaving my comfort zone -> I find comfort in my static life -> I get uncomfortable with the fact that I'm so comfortable with my life

I know I'm not the only one that experiences this. In fact, I'd venture to say at least 95% of people experience exactly this.

So should I bury the gifts that God has given me? Put them away until it seems like the path is clear and convenient?

Or should I make a move away from comfort? Take a leap, trust God, follow my heart?

The answer seems obvious, right?

Then how come I always seem to pick the wrong answer?

Hating winter

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Thu, 21 Jan 2010 01:21:00 +0000

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate winter? I'm rather satisfied with all other seasons, but I am certain I could live without winter. Allow me to vent my hatred in list form:

Snow. Snow is beautiful when it first falls. Then it becomes grossly soiled and eventually turns into slush. It makes otherwise competent drivers into out-of-control demolition derby participants. It makes going anywhere a chore and a life-threatening endeavor. And it's cold.

The cold. I can deal with freezing temperatures. They're not comfortable, but they're not painful. In Michigan, we tend to drop way below freezing. So every little wisp of wind feels like needles being jammed into your face. I happen to have sensitive eyes that become waterfalls of tears when cold air hits them. This does not help the pain.

My mood. I'm always down during the winter. I wouldn't say I'm depressed or sad, I just feel sluggish and energy-lacking. The sun just provides so much energy and good-feelings, and when it's gone, it's definitely noticeable.

The cold. Did I mention this already? I feel it needs to be mentioned again. I really hate the extreme cold.

It came to my attention a few years ago that there is a solution to my winter hatred: moving.

It seemed like a simple solution, at first. Find a place that is generally always the perfect temperature (between 65 and 75 degrees) and move there. I found such a place and began, years ago, planning my move.

Then, I realized it wasn't so easy. As much as I hate Michigan weather, I love Michigan. I love the people in Michigan, the places, the nature (in the summer). I love my family and friends.

So, for now, having those things in my life are more important to me than living in the luxury of good weather. But, maybe one day, everyone I love will realize the same thing I did. Then we can all move, together, to that place that has it all, including the perfect weather.

Freedom?

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:20:00 +0000

A poem.

Remembering Scout

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 03:05:00 +0000

I remember the day we got her. I was 10. We took a trip to the Michigan Humane Society, all in high hopes of finding an addition to our family. She was part of an unwanted litter. She was small, black, and playful. I remember how she came to the front of the cage to greet us; how she looked us in the eyes.

I remember the day we brought her home. After days of deliberation, we had decided to call her Scout, after the main character of To Kill a Mockingbird. She started out as an "outside" dog, but none of us had the heart to leave her out there all night. So she became a "back room only" dog, but the way she stood at the gate, staring at us, made it tough for us to not let her in. She became a part of our family.

I remember the day we left her outside while we took a quick trip to the store, and it started to storm. We came home to find the fence forced open, and Scout was nowhere to be found. We were all devastated by the thought of losing her. Only a short time later, we got a call from the person who had found her. We were all so happy to see her, and she was so happy to be home. She never ran away again.

I remember the way she always found her way into our home movies, whether we wanted her to or not.

I remember how she would start running around the house at top speed at 10pm every night, right on cue.

I remember the way you would rub her stomach and yell, "Piranah!" and she would turn on her back and snap at the air.

I remember how she started to turn gray as she got older. I remember how she started to struggle to stand up and walk up stairs. I remember how she would start choking out of nowhere, sometimes vomiting in order to breathe.

Most of all, I remember just how much love I had for this little puppy that we brought home one day, and how she stuck around to watch all of us grow up.

My dad called me today to tell me that Scout had passed away. He found her on the back patio, lying next to the door of the house she had won her way into as a pup; the house of the family that loved her as much as she loved us.

I'm going to miss her a lot.

Let's talk about how unfair life is

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:22:00 +0000

God gave us a great gift; the concept of fairness. And we grossly misuse it.

Fairness is something we begin to recognize at a very young age. We can tell when we've been given the smaller slice of cake or a shorter amount of time playing with a toy. We instantly recognize that it's "not fair!" when we are given something we perceive to be inferior to what someone else has gotten.

And this sense of fairness only grows as we get older.

So is that why God gave us this ability? To be able to make sure we get our "fair" share? That's certainly what we've turned it into.

I thing God gave us this ability so we can recognize when things are unfair for others.

And the truth is, things are so unfair for so many people.

There are more than 27 million people currently enslaved. 27 MILLION!

80% of those are women and children.

Roughly 84% of countries in the world are involved in some sort of human trafficking, including the US.

25,000 children die each day due to poverty and the inability to meet their basic needs.

More than 1.1 billion people don't even have access to clean water.

More than 80% of the world lives on less than $10 a day.

And we still think it's unfair if we make less than $10 an hour. Then we turn around, spend that on useless crap, including a $2 bottle of water (ignoring the fact that we can turn on the faucet and drink perfectly good water for about 15 cents). We go out and drop our paychecks on things we could easily live without, oblivious to the fact that our excessive spending is actually enabling this modern day slavery. Then we call up our friends to go out for $5 cups of coffee so we can sit around and talk about how unfair life is for us.

Sound fair?

Yes, you are a tree

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:31:00 +0000

I'm always fascinated by the beauty of fall. It's one of the few weather-related things I would miss if I were to ever leave the Midwest. I love the change of color, the crispy crunching of leaves, the cool breeze.

What I love most is the picture it paints of death and rebirth. I think that perfectly illustrates the cycles we have to go through in life.

There are times in our lives where we have to break away from a part of ourselves. Whether it's a sin that we've been holding onto, a relationship that isn't good for us, our spending habits... Whatever it might be, it's usually tough to just let it go. We don't want to just pluck it from our tree.

So we slowly start to sever ties. As we consciously try to avoid the sin, stop seeing a person as much, stop spending outrageously, the leaf begins to turn orange. The leaf still seems so appealing and is still a part of us, but we know if we don't get rid of it soon, it's just going to cause long-term damage.

So we sever more ties. We start finding ways to take our mind off the sin, we start spending time with different people, we start budgeting our money. And the leaf turns red. It still looks beautiful. It could probably be nurtured back to life.

But is it worth the long-term damage? Is it worth damaging the tree?

So we sever the final ties. We fill our time with constructive activities, we start building new relationships, we find wise ways to use our money. The leaf finishes it's life and falls from our tree.

Here's where the best part comes in: rebirth.

When we are able to break away from those things in our lives, it opens us up to new growth. We can begin to make a difference in others' lives. We can start to build close and fostering relationships. We can start using our resources to benefit others.

All things that couldn't happen if we just held on to those old leaves.

Isn't it beautiful?

Why you should watch your heart (more than your mouth)

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 16:37:00 +0000

I read this article in Relevant Magazine last week, and it really annoyed me. The article addresses the topic of Christians and cussing. I understand that we as Christians should hold a higher standard for ourselves, but I think this article really misses the point of what the Bible says about cussing.

The problem with using "bad words" is not the words themselves. When the Bible was written, there was no such thing as English. There was no F-word, or S-word. The problem with choosing to use these words is not the words themselves, but the context in which you use them. It's not what you say that is the problem, it's where your heart is when you say it.

But (most) Christians don't put the focus on the right thing in this situation, so they substitute words. They say things like "FUDGE!" or "You're a jerk!" because those don't include "swear words."

Except that they do. Just because you didn't say the THE F-word doesn't mean you weren't implying it's usage. Saying "Fudge!" out of anger is worse than saying the F-word out of jest.

The worst part of this article is that the author decides that "a well-placed swear word might be appropriate for a Christian when no other word will get across an idea or express a certain level of emotion/emphasis." He then goes on to give examples of some Christian artists that have used curse words in their songs before and excuses them by saying, "there is definitely a place and a time for a well-placed cuss word. But it has to be used sparingly and with a real meaningful purpose behind it."

This guy doesn't get what the Bible says about cussing. He even references James 3:1-12 as proof of his position. James is saying that the meaning behind your words is what matters. "Cursing" doesn't necessarily mean saying no-no words, it means purposely inflicting harm with your words; allowing your anger to speak.

I've always been under the impression that words are only as powerful as the heart behind them. If somebody is joking around and curses, I don't think much of it. In that situation, it's just another word. But when I'm walking around downtown and I see a preacher standing on the corner saying, "God hates you because of your sin and you're going to burn in hell forever," I am stunned. That's what cursing is. It doesn't matter what words you use to do it, but what you mean when you say them. Those words are meant to inflict pain or hatred upon someone. THAT is what the Bible says is cussing.

"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness." -James 1:9

It's about time for us to take a Biblical stance on cursing, not a religious one. It's about time for us to worry more about being holy and not just appearing so.

(I love Relevant magazine and value their willingness to publish a variety of positions. My response to this article in no way reflects my feelings for their publication.)

How Emery makes me go crazy

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 23:23:00 +0000

I went to an Emery concert a couple weeks ago. I've seen them in concert a bunch of times (more than I can count), and it's phenomenal every time. It's really hard to explain the feeling I get at those concerts, but I'll do my best.

It really feels like I just become a different person. Those that know me will know that I'm rather reserved. I'm not really loud, I'm not hyperactive. I'm generally calm and collected.

That is not who I am when I'm standing in a mosh of people and Emery is playing their hearts out. I transform into a crazy person. I become completely unaware of the other people around me. I sing every last song and scream every last scream. I pull myself up on the barricade and I throw my hands in the air.

And, apparently, my enthusiasm does not go unnoticed.

The last couple times, Josh (the keyboardist and screamer) has allowed me to join the performance experience. He makes his way over to where I'm standing, grabs my head, puts the microphone in my face, and screams at me while I scream along with him. Sound crazy? It's amazing.

This craziness doesn't come about just because of some euphoria created by that environment; it's the connection I have to Emery's music. There's just something in the passion and emotion of their music and the messages they convey. They tackle issues that people struggle with, but never cease to push a message of hope. And when you see them perform, you know that these songs are directly from their hearts. And their passion and energy just translates to my own life, and I can't help but go crazy with them.

When I leave those concerts, I usually feel a variety of things:

Thirsty.
Gross. (I'm covered in my sweat and the sweat of strangers.)
Hoarse. (All the screaming and singing usually makes me lose my voice.)
Achy. (It's a lot of work to maintain that front row spot!)
Alive.

I feel so alive. For just that hour of them performing, I forget about all those other things that might weigh on my mind. For that hour, it's just this amazing band putting on this amazing show and just truthfully sharing their hearts and offering words of hope. That's the thing that makes the show so awesome for me. It's not because the band is phenomenal musically (which they are)or that they know how to put on a good show (which they do), it's because they're speaking to me where I'm at. I mess up, I struggle with things, but I have hope because those sins are forgiven. I have hope because I have a God that just loves me so much, that I can't comprehend.

And for that hour, I am just worshiping. I am letting go of everything else and just singing of failure, struggle, and hope. It's unbelievable.

I wonder what my church would think if I rushed the stage next weekend and went crazy like that...

Sleepless rambles about assiduous neglect

noreply@blogger.com (Christopher Cummings) — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 01:55:00 +0000

Well, I definitely haven't been writing as much as I'd like to these past few months.

I didn't think it would be possible for me to be busier than I was these past couple years of college. I've found that it's not only a possibility, but my current reality. Every night, I've got something going on. Every weekend is completely packed.

I can't help but feel like most of it is just "stuff," though. It's all really great and I'm enjoying life, but I feel like I'm not doing everything I can. It's like, I'm not living to the potential that God has given me. I'm going for quantity, not necessarily quality.

I'm still hoping that I can one day go into some sort of full time ministry. I just really feel like that is the place where I'm going to really feel like I'm doing what I'm called to do. I've been volunteering with the middle school ministry at the satellite campus my church is launching in a few weeks. I've really been enjoying the preparation, and I am so excited for us to get students in there and just teach them, listen to them, and love them.

And as much as I want to do full time ministry, I don't think it's time for me to go in that direction yet. Right now, I feel like I'm at the place I'm supposed to be and doing what I need to be doing. I have to remind myself that progress comes in steps, not all at once.

I want to try to make sure I get at least a few hours a week that I set aside for me to do some personal reflection, writing, reading, and prayer. Pretty much every hour of my week is being filled by something, and unfortunately I'm sacrificing those important things.

Sometimes, by doing things I feel are godly, I end up neglecting God.