I get the complaint all the time: “The reporter got the facts wrong.”  Or “They didn’t even bother to ask us for our comment.”  If I were more cynical, I’d string together all the complaints I hear about media coverage and use them as titles for my new book.

My approach has always been simple – don’t use excuses as a crutch.  By monitoring what’s being said, and knowing how to respond in a way that actually WORKS, everyone wins.

But for those situations where it may be too late, www.newsbasis.com is trying to fix that.  They’re billing themself as a one-stop monitoring/correction agency of sorts.

There’s not much to see… I’ve signed up for the beta service but I’ll report back if I learn more.

PS – sorry for the LONG absence.  No excuses, but I was overseas and dealing with massive client projects.  I’ll try to do better. 

Take, for example, product recalls.  Anyone who manufactures anything should, if they are prudent, be prepared for a  recall.  That announcement doesn’t have to be a crisis.  Any reasonable manufacturer will have had a spokesperson, key messages and contingency plans already in place.

Why? It’s a fundamental fact – if you make something, it stands to common sense and logic that eventually, something will go wrong.  That doesn’t make you a corporate villain.  It makes you entirely normal.

But what does an organization do in the event of a ‘true’ crisis?  A ‘true’ crisis is an event that no one could reasonably foresee, and has tremendously damaging consequences.  The term “Black Swan Theory” comes to mind.

Volcanic ash clouds shutting down European airports? That’s a black swan.  Terrorists bombing the World Trade Centre?  Black swan.  On a smaller level, discovering your business partner and supplier had a factory explosion, or that your accountant was secretly Russian mafia could qualify.  It doesn’t matter WHAT it is, it matters THAT it is both unexpected and catastrophic.

What’s the key to communicating through a black swan? I call it the shampoo model:  Lather, Rinse, and Repeat.

Lather:
Figure out who you need to talk to. Cast a wide net, and figure out how to reach them.

There are obvious target audiences.  Customers are a given.  Mainstream media.  Shareholders.  But don’t forget regulatory authorities, next door neighbours, or even your competitors.  Leave no stone unturned, and no stakeholder uninformed, especially if that stakeholder has access to a microphone.  Three days after Toyota announced massive, unprecedented recalls, there wasn’t a single word from Toyota with key messages available for the 81,000 fans on their Facebook page.  That’s 81,000 potential spokespeople who were ignored.

Different audiences require different tools. A mass email may work for one group, a dedicated website for another, one-on-one phone calls for a third.  The important point is to figure out who, and how.

Rinse
Often times in the midst of a true crisis, reliable information is hard to ascertain.  Use this fact as a help, not a hindrance.

In the days immediately following 9-11, New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani had a simple but brutally effective communications model.  “Here is what we know, here is what we don’t know, and here is where you can go for more information.”

By acknowledging both the facts and the unknowns, Giuliani established himself as the ‘go to’ source for information and reassurance in the event of a crisis.  Acknowledging you don’t know something establishes yourself as even more credible in the eyes of an audience which reasonably doesn’t expect you to have information in the first place.

Repeat
There is no such thing as a news cycle anymore. You’re reading this online.  Chances are good that most of you will have read at least one piece of online news in the 6 hours before or after reading this note.

Online news doesn’t have deadlines. Cable news doesn’t have deadlines.  News radio doesn’t have deadlines.  And if your black swan is news worthy to the public at large, even normal media outlets will cut into an episode of “The Brady Bunch” to bring news about a major news story.

News is constantly changing. So should your key message.  Don’t make the perfect the enemy of the good – get out there and start communicating.

Remember – if they’re talking about you, you can leave the corporate spokesperson job to one of two people – someone whom you’ve picked, or someone whom the media picks.  Do you really need to guess which one is better?

Ultimately, this is all about living to communicate another day.  Delivering information on your own terms leaves you alive and in a position to build trust and credibility later.  Get the information out poorly, and you may discover that the swan is only black because of the tar in its feathers.

Far too often, we get in trouble by attempting to be all things to all people.   And the reason we get into trouble is really quite simple – it never works.

A very wise man once gave me his theory of audience diversification.  Take any contentious issue, and you can split your universe into five “S’s.

• Supporters -   Your friends through thick and thin.  2% of the audience.
• Sympathizers.  Mostly supportive, but occasionally not impressed by you or your conduct.5  % of the audience.
• Straddlers.  Don’t know you, don’t care about you, don’t care about the issue.  End of story.  A whopping 86% of the audience.
• Skeptics – Don’t like you, but will, on rare occasion, back you up.  5% of the audience.
• Splenetics.  Dedicated to “venting their spleen on you.”  No matter what you say or do, they will hate you.  Approximately 2% of the audience.

We spend all our time with the two folks at the opposite ends of the spectrum – the supporters, because they’re comfortable.  And the splenetics, simply because they make the most noise.  And why are we wasting our time trying to win over the splenetics?  It’s because far too often, people confuse volume with importance.

Just because a television camera shows up at your door demanding an answer doesn’t mean you have to supply the answer they’re looking for.  Simply because an angry activist group stages a protest doesn’t mean you have to respond to the allegations in a way that satisfies them.  Your job is to satisfy the supporters (easy), the sympathizers (still easy), the straddlers (sort of easy, depending on whether they care), and the skeptics (much tougher – but far simpler than talking to a splenetic.)

In other words – respond THROUGH splenetics, don’t respond TO splenetics.

Case in point – a man in Britain claims religious discrimination because he is asked to remove his hood.  His claim – as a member of the Church of Jedi, he is required to wear a headcovering at all times.  You read that correctly – the Church of Jedi.  For those who are unfamiliar – Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader of Star Wars fame were both “Jedi Knights.”

Most people would assume (correctly, I may add) that becoming a member of the Church of Jedi is roughly equivalent to serving under GI-Joe, or legally changing your name to “Barbie.”  You can handle this in one of two ways.

• Example one:  A job centre issued a public apology to the ‘offended individual.’  They took a splenetic and tried to give him what he wanted.  Regardless, he announced he is still planning on suing them. Total communications victory points?  Zero.
• Example two:  Tesco Supermarkets spoke THROUGH an offended Jedi and publicly said “Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all appeared hoodless without ever going over to the Dark Side and we are only aware of the Emperor as one who never removed his hood.  If Jedi walk around our stores with their hoods on, they’ll miss lots of special offers.” Total communications victory points?  Lots.  Plus, come on now – it’s funny.  You and I are now discussing Tesco.  As a complete “straddler” on the Jedi issue, I’m now a Tesco Sympathizer.

A point to remember – ignoring your enemy by speaking through them is NOT the same thing as not responding.  One requires a deft touch, a thick skin, and the ability to withstand criticism.  But simply ignoring an issue requires a good liability lawyer or a bankruptcy specialist.

Obviously, not responding implies the problem will eventually ‘go away.’  A media vacuum isn’t going to simply ‘go away.’  After all, your enemy splenetics started this fight – they are more than happy to continue it.   Why let them continue to score free points at your expense?

It comes down to this – if people are going to be talking about you, you want them to be doing it on YOUR terms – not theirs.  Counter a splenetics point by talking through them.  Then hold on and get ready for the hair pulling and gnashing of teeth that will inevitably follow.

See – there are certain words guaranteed to elicit emotional responses in people. Certain combinations and phrases just punch through the ether and slap you in the face.

Sometimes the slap is a good one. Smart companies recognize the power of a simple tag line like that and call it marketing.  Sometimes it sticks, sometimes it doesn’t.  But when it does stick, that’s where dynasties are made.  Coke is it, will always be it, and that’s just it.  Unless, of course, you appreciate a fine running shoe, in which case Nike will just DO it, rather than BE it.  But I digress.

Other phrases instantly elicit a powerful emotional reaction. Ask any Buffalo Bills fan what “Wide Right” means.  Everyone instantly knows what “9-11,” or “D-Day” means.  Closer to home, in the Chatterton household, whenever something powerful is about to happen, we’ve been known to call out “And now the 2-2,” which were the last words uttered in the television broadcast before Joe Carter hit the World-Series winning home run in 1993.

When it comes to high risk communications, there are certain catch phrases that do the same thing.  Some are bad: “Exxon Valdez.”  Some are great.  “Tylenol Recall” belongs to the High Risk Communications Hall of Fame.

For those who don’t remember, it was 1982.  Someone was tampering with Tylenol caplets by adding cyanide, and several people in the Chicago area had died.

Tylenol could have said “Look – we’re not responsible if some nutcase tampers with our product.”  They could have instigated a limited recall in the Chicago area.  They could have, in other words, kicked up a fairly legitimate fuss about being the victim, not the responsible party.

To their credit, they did not.  In fact, Tylenol pulled every product off the shelves.  Every single one.  Nationwide.  It cost over $100 million.  When they determined only capsules were tampered with, they offered to exchange all Tylenol capsules already purchased by the public with solid tablets.  The company won widespread praise for their handling of the voluntary recall, and despite taking a very significant short-term hit, rebounded to become the number one pain relief brand in North America.

The message to the public was clear – Tylenol can be trusted, even when bad things happen.  That was 1982.

“Tylenol Recall” is the poster child of risk communication case studies.  A shining beacon of why companies don’t have to be afraid of bad news – they simply need to be prepared for it, and prepared to ACT on it.  Running away from the issue would have saved Tylenol millions of dollars in 1982.  But I would argue that given their share of the analgesic pain relief market today, that $100 million was a fantastic investment.

Today, we fast forward 28 years and see Tylenol has been hit with another set of recalls. The circumstances are FAR less sinister – it appears that no ill effects can be caused by ingesting the contaminated pills, they just smell funny.  Regardless, I’ll be watching this one closely, simply because of the players involved.

You go, Tylenol!

I’m working with a client today that had their office broken into.  Despite being under lock and key, three laptops were stolen, and along with them, confidential information onover 8,000 customers.  It’s truly a case of “bad things happen to good companies.”

My client is a victim, yet they are now spending a lot of money to inform eight thousand people their identity is at risk.  Not only is this a huge financial hit short term, the long term consequences have yet to play out.  Will they lose customers?  Not if I can help it.  But needless to say, my client is not having a great day.

My role is to step in and stop the bleeding, and turn things around. We’re going to do it – at the end of the day, this will be a fantastic opportunity to reinforce customer trust and confidence.  But it’s a lot like a forest fire.  Sometimes, a forest fire is a good way to kickstart new growth.  Sometimes, despite the best intentions, you end up burning down entire communities by accident.  No one wants to see that happen.

Since a new year brings new challenges, I thought I’d compile a list of ways you can have a really bad public relations day that you probably haven’t thought of – yet.  Since it’s 2010, I’ll come up with ten (and only ten, as opposed to 2,010!)  Each are conceivable, real life situations that happen every day… and yes, each are easily solved if you’ve prepped for them in advance.  But have you?

10/ Watch your competitors burn with glee (aka ‘afflicted competitor syndrome)
When “Balloon-Boy” Falcon Heene was dominating the CNN feed one afternoon last fall, I received a phone call from one of the largest manufacturers of ballooning equipment in North America.  Obviously, this manufacturer had NOTHING to do with the Heene family… that contraption was entirely home-built.  Nevertheless, by the time I received a phone call, the company had received over fifty (!) media requests for interviews.

If your competitor does something dumb, don’t assume it reflects ONLY on them… especially if you share a territory, a technology or a customer base.  No matter how awful your competitor is, their bad day can quickly become yours as well.

9/ Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
The Challenger blew up because of a bad o-ring.  Maple Leaf staged a multi-million dollar food recall because a knife wasn’t properly cleaned.  If you discover ‘little things’ going wrong, the easiest way for that little thing to become a full blown forest fire is to ignore it.

8/ Short-Sell Stupid
Look – if it’s dumb, chances are good you’ve done it.  I know I have.  And if you’re so clumsy in real life, why do you expect your employees to be better?

Who’s job was it to clean that knife at Maple Leaf – and does it really matter?  Did Domino’s plan for one of their employees to pick their nose, sell it with a pizza and capture it on Youtube?  Of course not.  Can you guarantee one of your customer service reps will never swear at a customer?  Of course you can’t.

People can be inherently stupid.  Planning for that isn’t insulting – it’s just good corporate practice.

7/ A rising tide can lift all boats.  An ebbing tide… well, don’t ask.
Imagine being in charge of a high-tech start up three months before the tech bubble burst in the early 2000’s.  Or how could you manage Investor Relations for ANY publicly traded company between October and March of last year?

Did you do anything wrong?  No, not really.  Does that matter to the investors who want to turn your annual report into toilet paper?  Not one little bit.

6/ Guilty by Association
Do you know where your raw materials come from?  Have you visited their warehouse?  Have you ever wondered WHY their quote was cheaper?  In an era of ’sustainability,’ accusations of sweatshop labour or environmental sins can have damning consequences.  The list of accused organizations reads like a Fortune 500 list – Apple Computer, Nike, Wal-Mart, even Kathie Lee Gifford.  It’s simply not enough to make sure only your own house is in order.

5/ The Golden Competition (aka the OPPOSITE of afflicted competitor syndrome)
I try to avoid partisan examples, but look at  the Republican National Committee.  In one year, their competition a) swept Congress b) won the Presidency, and c) won the Nobel Peace Prize.  If you’re in charge of communications at the RNC, that’s a solidly bad year.  What did the RNC do to deserve all of that?  It doesn’t matter if they deserve it or not – it’s happened.  And as a result, it’s a tarnished brand.

Obviously, time heals all wounds, especially in politics… but it’s not a huge leap to ask, “Has this happened to me or my brand in the past year as well?”

4/ Assume you’re Secure
Look at the example at the top of this page.  My client is spending a small mint to potentially infuriate 8,000 of their best customers – because it’s the right thing to do.  Those three laptops were behind two locked doors and chained to their desks.  It didn’t stop the criminals.  Whether it’s a hacker, a careless employee or downright negligence – how can you prepare for having your dirty laundry aired in public?

3/ Assume your People are Happy
I’m always cynical about claims, “our people wouldn’t do such a thing” or “we have the best employees in the world.”  Keep in mind – I’m self employed for a reason.  I have a simple prism… I am a good, honest and loyal person.  And if I don’t want to work for you, why would anyone else?

Why on earth do you think your employees are happy?  Have you asked them?  Have you asked them… lately?  Have you honestly asked them what you can be doing better?  Try a simple question:  “Would you leave this company tomorrow if you had a similar opportunity?”  You may be shocked at the results.

Companies that ignore their own people deserve what comes from ‘that.’  And typically, ‘that’ is never a good thing.  Damaging headlines… strike action… regulatory reviews… government inspections… Chances are good they were instigated by a disgruntled employee.

Which means, as the employer, you really have no excuse not to have seen that one coming.

2/ You Don’t Know what You Don’t Know
The stories are legendary… Chrysler had to rebadge the “Lacrosse” in Quebec because in French, it’s a synonym for masturbation.  In Spanish, the Chevy Nova translated to “Chevy doesn’t go.”   Tropicana pulled their packaging after forgetting to ask it’s customers if they liked the new design.

Whether it’s cultural sensitivities, regional disparities, religious differences or accidentally using the logo of the wrong local sports team, screw ups happen.  Sometimes you can’t prevent it – no one knows everything.  But how do you repair the damage after it occurs?

1/ Acts of God or Terrorism

Some mistakes you ought to have seen coming.  Not having a response is simply bad judgement.  But then – some mistakes are more than mistakes.  They’re called crises.  Fire, accidents, explosions, shootings… unfortunately, none of them are unrealistic.

Here is an inescapable truth:  The fact you were targeted by tragedy does very little to influence public opinion.  How you respond to that tragedy means just about everything.

How are you prepared?

In the interest of acknowledging it’s permanent place in crisis communications history, I offer the Top Ten ways Tiger can improve his image, compliments of David Letterman. My personal favourite is number 4.

Sure… back in October, it was a rough week.  Just when they thought they could lift their head up…  just as things were starting to calm down, what happens?

Drudge decides, for some inexplicable reason, to run the headline, again.

The screenshot below is from the December 1st Drudge Report, taken at approximately 11:30 am.  The headline links to an old Reuters story from October so either it was an administrative error by Drudge, or for some reason, Matt Drudge thinks old news about sick turkeys is just plain fascinating.

Either way… it just goes to prove that bad news really does stick with you.

This week is “stay at home and recover” week (long story, but it involves a deviated septum, a skilled surgeon, some Tylenol and a Lazyboy).  So what better time to get some long awaited work done on my book?

As part of the process, I’m compiling a list of credibility crisis moments for any company.  I’ve compiled a list of events that can happen to you or your business/organization.  Every single one of these is realistic, easy to slip into, and causes sleepless nights for corporate communicators all over the globe.

What would you add?  What events have YOU run into that you can share with your fellow communicators?  (Remember – commenting on a blog post automatically makes you sexier.) 

I’ll deal with strategy and tactics later.  For now, I’m just concentrating on what you need to develop a strategy FOR.

TWENTY WAYS TO GET YOURSELF IN TROUBLE

Wonky test results
e.g. You get an email or a voicemail from the production line “I’m not sure what to make of these numbers.  We haven’t gotten any phone calls yet, but it looks like we’re getting some cross contamination on the floor… do we need to be worried?

Afflicted competitor
e.g. Your product is clean, and you run a clean business… but your competition has just been arrested/had a product recall / done something stupid.  How do you differentiate without throwing mud yourself?

The loony with a microphone
e.g. Your product causes cancer?!?  You employ sweat shop labour?!?  It’s preposterous, it’s absolutely not true – but that’s not stopping the weirdo from distributing flyers outside the supermarket…

The activist group
e.g. Greenpeace is taking one small part of your business and blowing it way, WAY out of hand – or you conduct yourself in line with ‘good scientific principals,’ but that doesn’t mean PETA is going to back off.

Kaboom – there goes your facility
e.g.  You get a phone call at 4am.  Your emergency plan is in a nice neat binder and within easy reach of your desk… which is currently on fire, along with the rest of your headquarters building.

“You have the right to remain silent” – (but you never should)
aka the Martha Stewart or Conrad Black problem.  What do you do when your Chief Executive is facing corruption or ethics charges?

Recalls
e.g Those test results are a whole lot more public now.  How do you react when you are very publicly accused of selling a faulty product?

Boycotts
e.g. The local union is upset with your labour practices, and urges consumers to avoid buying your products.

I’d like to believe you – but I don’t know you from Adam
e.g. You’ve got a great new product, that does great new things… but no one believes you.  In fact, when people get sick from something else, they tend to blame you.  Why?

Jesus wouldn’t drive your SUV – or eat your apple.
e.g. Eco activists unveiled a “What would Jesus Drive” campaign in California a few years ago.  How do you react when someone picks a fight with you, not on scientific grounds but purely on a ’subjective, religious’ basis?

Unveiling – the Chief Executive Slimeball
e.g. Has the star of your TV show been caught sleeping with his staff?  Is a messy divorce going a little too public?  Sure, it’s not illegal, but it’s certainly not the image you want to represent.

Layoffs AND bonuses? Great!
aka the AIG problem.  What happens when you reward your top performing executives, while at the same time laying off frontline workers?  It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where this is going to go…

What hand grenades and credibility attacks have in common
e.g. Being attacked by the medical community?  Sure, you could ‘attack back,’ but really – who’s going to believe industry?  Credibility attacks only roll one way – downhill.

When your competitors have dirty hands
e.g. Your competitors are bankrolling the activist group that’s attacking you?  Can you prove it?  And how do you unveil that?

Labour fairness? Unsafe work conditions? Really? Come on now…
e.g. 75% of your employees are happy and satisfied.  The other 25% seem pretty intent on giving you a bad name.

Lies, damn lies and statistics
e.g. Statistically – 99% of lung cancer sufferers have matches in their pocket.  Sure, it sounds ludicrous – but what do you do when the media starts running with that story?

Picking your fights with pissed off customers
e.g. How do you react when someone creates “Yourcompanysucks.com?”

The Dangers of Dihydrogen Monoxide
e.g. What happens when sound scientific principals are just used for scaremongering?  Dihydrogen monoxide is an industrial fire retardant, fatal if ingested in large quantities, and kills over 2,000 children a year who get exposed to it.  I defend it’s use every day.  Scared yet?  It’s Di (2) Hydrogen (H) Mon (1) oxide (oxygen.)  Or… H20.  Plain water.

Sometimes, people are just plain stupid
e.g. What happens when your employees post youtube videos showing themselves picking their nose and serving it to a restaurant customer, or using a prep sink as a bathtub?

It’s not our fault!  Honest!
e.g. Your entire service goes offline at a critical time – because the construction company next door severed a power cable.

Those are the quick and easy problems any company can run into.  What situations can you think of that are going to give you a headache?

We were flying Bearskin Airlines – a small, northern-Ontario centric regional airline.  By small, I mean ‘everyone gets a window seat, you better pee before you leave the ground, the inflight entertainment consists of your window’ small.

We approached the registration desk at Ottawa Airport several hours early with “Hi, we’re on the 6pm flight but we were hoping to get the 4pm flight instead.”  Bracing ourselves, we got ready to hear all about a $100 (or higher) change fee.

After all, Air Canada won’t let you change seats without lots of money and headache.  Even if your scheduled flight is delayed, you are pretty much bound to that flight number.

The agent’s response was one word: “Absolutely!”

Thanks to a common-sense customer satisfaction policy and a friendly frontline staff, I got to see my kids last night.  And THAT makes me feel all warm and fuzzy about Bearskin airlines.

Bearskin Airlines.  Absolutely.

(Sorry about the cheesy headline – I couldn’t help myself.)