Chateau Of A Doubt

Jay and Silent Bob and Kevin Smith

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 04:23:00 +0000

So I recently, per advice of a close friend, began listening to the Jay and Silent Bob Get Old and Jay and Silent Bob Get Jobs podcasts. I also watched or rewatched most all of the View Askew movies.

In the movies, the character Jay (played by Jason Mewes) is pretty mean to the character Silent Bob (played by Kevin Smith).

In the podcasts, Kevin Smith is excruciatingly mean to Jason Mewes.

The character Jay is based on actual Jason Mewes, so in this thought experiment, let's meld them together, shall we?

So: Kevin Smith bullies Jay bullies Silent Bob.

If there was an alternate universe in which both Kevin Smith and Silent Bob existed, how would they interact? Would he bully him worse than he bullies Jay? Not as much?

Would they be pals like the dog and the mouse are on all those cartoons also involving a cat?

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Tue, 23 Aug 2011 04:22:00 +0000

by the time you realize why they are all crazy, it is already too late for you.

You win, pop musicians.

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 01:49:00 +0000

I am not a big fan of the Black Eyed Peas (hilariously, my dad is) or Lady Gaga (unsurprisingly, my mom is), but today and yesterday I've gained a lot of respect for the latter, and for will.i.am.

Someone posted an Adele vs Lady Gaga gif yesterday, and I went searching for the interview it was taken from. After watching it, I've gained loads of respect for her.

Like, I now DO believe you are an artist and a scholar. Good on you, Gaga.

Also, she ISN'T ugly, surprisingly... she just uses makeup to obscure what she really looks like. It's the ingenious plan that KISS had. You probably wouldn't realize it if you passed her on the street.

And she used to have this Alanis Morrissette thing going on.

And then I heard an interview today about will.i.am riding his segway (hilarious) and being inspired to create a tv show with the goal of changing kids' lives through technology. Dude, really? I'm into that.

Pop celebrities, I thought you were all just vapid party people. Forgive me.

I Was a Genius.

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 02:49:00 +0000

Igby is a bit of a bulimic. I don't think it's for any concern for her figure, and I don't think she purges intentionally. It's just that she hasn't figured out how to pace herself when eating.

When I think of it and have the time, I limit her consumption by just putting out a small amount of kibble at once. This is super annoying. I don't have a dog because they're too dependent. I needed to find a better way.

I started searchingbthe internet for automatic or cat-powered food dispensers. I was intrigued by this hamster-ball looking thing, but I didn't like the idea of a non-stationary feeding device.

On instructables I found an awesome food dispenser mod, and decided I should go out and buy the little feeding dish base and make it.

Before I got that far, however, I was struck with a far simpler idea. I often see Igby reaching her little paw underneathe some cabinet to retreive kibble she'd knocked there. If I put a bunch of food in something she couldn't get her face in, it would slow her down and solve my problem. BAM.

tl;dr: jars are handy in so many ways.

Misogyny

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 01:49:00 +0000

If we are to assume that misogyny is a hereditary trait, how does this continue? Who honestly, HONESTLY would consent to allowing a man with so little respect for her gender ANYWHERE NEAR those parts that make her unarguably female??

This afternoon, I dropped my car off to get my oil changed and took a little jog. I brought nothing with me but a water bottle, and then nervously stopped in every business I passed to check the time. After a 20-or-so minute loop, I returned to Mavis to find my car hadn't been brought in the garage yet. I resigned myself to sit in the waiting room and watch the TV, which an older man also waiting had turned to Seinfeld. After Seinfeld, my car hadn't been brought in yet, so I watched the Simpsons too. I did my best to try to ignore the man and the woman (who appeared to be in their late 50s) also waiting and quietly having an argument that sounded like they were breaking up. At one point they started fighting about who of them would know something more. The guy said: "I know, because I'm a man."

WHAT.

My face contorted into a look of incredulity and I tried my best to not make eye contact or acknowledge that I had been listening, but I briefly caught the woman's gaze, so she clearly knew how I felt about the situation.

The episode of the Simpsons was a rather good one, and one I'd never seen before. It featured Homer and Marge discussing their pre-married life in the 90s. (hilarious as didn't the show start in the 90s?) Marge goes to college, paid for by Homer, and she falls for her radical professor who talks a lot about the oppressive force of the white male. Marge and Homer split up, Marge briefly has a thing with the professor which ends sharply when the professor shows his true colors by saying "oh Marge, it's statements like that that make people say women are stupid."

What a relevant episode to be playing in the background of these shenanigans.

At one point this man pulls a number out of his wallet, for effect. Apparently some other woman had given it to him. He rips it up as a show that he doesn't even care about that, but if this is true, why did he keep it in the first place?

(I suppose this was because he later accused her of making him feel undesirable, and perhaps he wanted to save it for just such an opportunity, but still -- I don't understand why she was wasting her time with such a misogynistic a-hole.)

The Simpsons ends and Family Guy comes on. I walk up to the counter to see if I should bring my car back in tomorrow -- they hadn't even pulled it into the garage yet and I would be glad to have an excuse to leave. They tell me that won't be necessary as they were just moments away from servicing my car.

All the while this couple is arguing, the woman keeps shushing the man, who occasionally quiets down and always gives her sass about it. At the point where I've been sitting with them for about an hour, the woman turns to me and asks me if I can hear the TV okay.

This is in no way about volume. I had already taken the remote control to flip the channel and check the time. If I couldn't hear, I could certainly turn the TV up.

I turn to them and admit that they *have* made me feel a bit awkward, and the woman apologizes to me, and I tell her that, no, *I* am sorry.

The man begins to yell at her about bringing the argument into the public and yell at her for the very basis of her apology to me, and I tell him that I was a bit baffled at his misogynistic comment about men knowing everything, telling him I'm surprised that such men could even reproduce, when such an act requires a woman.

Sometimes I run my mouth off.

At this point he starts berating me for even talking to them and simultaneously begins defending his side of the fight to me [telling me that she is 61 and told him she was going to fellate every guy in the bar -- which she defended as saying that was because she was hot headed because he had slept with someone else] while berating me for saying anything to him [I wanted nothing to do with this but I didn't really have a choice] it is a public place, and also telling me that it's men like him [misogynists] who produce women like me [feminists]. Yep. He called me a feminist. No. He did not mean it as a compliment.

[My dad, while not the most outspokenly liberal guy, is certainly not a misogynist as I'm pretty sure he couldn't function without my mom and also, she clearly wears the pants in the family.]

I don't remember why, but he went outside for a bit, and I ended up talking to her for that time. We apologized to each other and I recounted for her the things that I overheard that had outraged me. I told her I didn't know why she put up with his bullsh--. She told me what drives her crazy is he won't take responsibility for his own actions.

He soon comes back inside and yells at her some more, "oh, you've made a new little friend?" turning to me and telling me that she wants to have a lesbian encounter. "It's true, she really does." I tell him that I don't think that's really related at all to what's going on. I start scowling into space and he starts yelling at her for always talking to everyone. "I just like PEOPLE!" she defends.

I walk into the garage to see how much longer it'll take for my car, explaining both that I have to go to work and also about the couple making me uncomfortable. When I go back into the waiting room, one of them suggests they take their arguement outside. "So we don't offend little Miss Sensitive ears!" the man calls out mockingly.

"SORRY for being HUMAN!" I respond.

I mean, really.

My Place!

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 13 Apr 2011 20:53:00 +0000

I've entered my home into Apartment Therapy's Small Cool contest this year. I'm not thinking I'll win, and I'm not even sure they'll accept my entry, but I like the contest and my place too much not to try. Also, it gave me a reason to photograph and make a floorplan of my house, and I don't think the rules say I *can't* share them with you here.

So, this is where I live:

483 sq ft

MoCCA 2011

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 11 Apr 2011 21:27:00 +0000

Oh my goodness, MoCCA fest. Last year, I was following enough comic artists on twitter during MoCCA time to realize that I was missing out on something important and awesome, so this year I made it a *point* to be there. At the Center for Cartoon Studies, Alec Longstreth had encouraged us to trade comics with other people. I brought a stack of Some Of Us two for this purpose.

The thing that I really like about festivals / conventions like this are the panels, and there was a panel about teaching comics at 11:30 that I wanted to / needed to go to. And then my bus out of Albany was a half hour late. Luckily, when I made it to the armory, there was a long line stretching around the building because the fest was opening a half hour late. I missed nothing.

In the Teaching Comics panel, I learned about 3eanuts (which honestly I think is an interesting concept but less successful than Garfield Minus Garfield). I forget the context, but I have written down a quote from one of the panelists: "People just think, they buy something in the store, it exists in nature." I love this so much because it's very true. Often I find people admiring the work of others and making comments about how they could never do it, likening the time, effort, skill, hard work and years of practice with some magic gift that some people have and others don't.

I stayed right in that room for the next panel, which was about Sequential non-fiction. I came away with a lot of graphic novels I want to read, and a discussion was raised about accountability and realness. I really appreciated discussion about how to portray events without being judgmental, or when such judgement is necessary. Someone asked "is calling it a *real* story important to the story?" which I found to be a convicting question because I work in non-fiction, often autobiographical non-fiction, pushing it to the point where I will illustrate an idea I had as something occurring within thought bubbles.

After these panels I took some time to actually trade some of my comics. I didn't want to go home with any of my own, so I figured I'd do this first. The first person I asked didn't want to trade so early because she was almost sold out of what she'd brought, but she was really nice about it and told me to come back at the end of the day. It was a good warm up. I had won a weirdly printed copy of one of Tara Abbamondi's Puddles, so I decided I'd give her one of my comics too. I wanted a copy of Kate Beaton's book, and I figured I'd try and do what I was doing a NEWW, a trade + cash. I expected her book to be $20 and I was going to offer her $15 and a copy of my comic, but then she was having a sale! And then she drew me and I just gave her one of my mini comics, because who doesn't want the people they respect to have something they made? This is a thing, I'm sure of it. Also, she signed and drew in my book. I was so entirely pleased about it that I changed my twitter avatar. I'm a dork.

My haul, including both trades and purchases:

I haven't had a chance to dig into much yet, but I *did* read Luke holds off by Jeremy Nguyen and Beard by Pranas Naujokaitis which were both amazing in very different ways. I actually got home and bought a copy of Beard for a friend of mine and had it mailed to his house. I think he'll be pleasantly surprised.

I caught one more panel which was a conversation with Dash Shaw and Brecht Evans. I had never heard of Brecht but I'd read Bottomless Belly Button by Dash and loved it. They are both very young and very funny. Brecht (who is Flemish) asked Dash if he knew what Bottomless Belly Button was called in Dutch. Dash said he didn't and tried to change the subject. Clearly he doesn't want to know. "You've gotta pay attention to these things!" Brecht scolded. I can only imagine.

After seeing some pages and hearing about Brecht's work, I went right upstairs and bought his book. I also walked around the convention for a bit longer, buying things, talking to people (especially people from CCS, from Albany/Troy, and about chickens) and feeling overwhelmed. I found a girl named Sally who was painting 30 second portraits for fifty cents. How could I resist?

I also was fairly certain someone was drawing me during the Dash-Brecht panel, and afterwards I asked her to see it and had a discussion with her about drawing unposed people and trying to not freak them out.

Overall, I found myself smiling at a lot more people than I usually do, on the street or whatever. Even though I was beat I was just so excited to be inundated with COMICS. I think next year I should get a table, but definitely split it with a few people so I can still go to panels and such. Also, I'm sad to have missed Drink and Draw Like a Lady. Alas.

Overdue

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 31 Mar 2011 23:42:00 +0000

At the end of 2009, in lieu of holiday cards, I stole a trick from Hank Green and send out surveys. I did not receive one back from everyone, but the ones I did get back were more heartwarming and exciting to read than I'd expected. I kept a lot of Hank's question's, but changed a few. Here are the question's I asked:

1. How long have you known Emily? 
2. What do you want from me? 
3 What have you been up to this past year? (please be as detailed as possible, because I actually want to know.) 
4 How much longer do you think you'll be doing what you're doing? 
5 Why are you doing it?  
6 What do you want to be doing?  
7 What's next in your life? 
8 How You Doin'? 
9 What's the best book you read this year?  
10 Describe a perfect day.
11 How are you feeling about kids these days? 
 12 (- In this space, compose your own question, and answer it -)  
13 If you’ve seen these sorts of things, what is your favorite viral video?   
14 If you were a cliché, what cliché would you be?  
15 Do you subscribe to magazines? Which ones?
16 What is your least favorite part of any given day?  
17 What was the last thing that you made using your hands?  
18 Cheese or Chocolate?  
19 Where would you live if you could live anywhere?  
20 What was your first concert?  
21 If you could start a business that would be instantly successful, what kind of business would it be?  
22 Invisibility or Time Travel?  

And here are a smattering of answers I received. If you want me to attribute your answers to you, let me know and I can do that. I'm otherwise going to leave it anonymous.

1. answers range from a short amount of time to 6+ years to my entire life
2. jewelry that I've made / patience / beautiful artwork / nothing
3. DUI / raising children / moved to MA / pretended to be a grown up (sort of)/ almost went for an MFA @ Pratt / almost went to school for illustration at FIT / cried / played music / finished a Master's in Literacy / moved in with friends / moved in with significant other / got a job
6 reading & facebook / pretty much the same thing in a warmer place with more creative time / writing / writing something else / writing narrative fiction / honestly no idea / be treated as a professional

maybe I'll add more later. I'm a bit tired of doing this right now

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 17:25:00 +0000

I recently realized that I've been waiting. For what? Perhaps to land that full time job -- my career. Perhaps to find that perfect someone, start a family.

But I realized not long ago: I'm 26. This is my life. It is happening. This is me, single, living in a small apartment in a small city, struggling to make ends meet, doing creative things, teaching people, loving who I love, getting upset at what I dislike. This is my life. I don't need to wait.

THIS.

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 19:49:00 +0000

#ThingsThatFrightenMe

New England Webcomics Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 04:27:00 +0000

On Saturday I went to New England Webcomics Weekend in Easthampton, MA, which is not quite a two hour drive.

Eastworks, the converted factory it took place in made me drool. Western Mass has a great knack for creatively reusing old factory buildings and adorning them with giant steel Futura letters. I could really love to live in an old factory.

There were a few different reasons I wanted to go to NEWW. Let's start out with that it was cheap and close. $6 for a day pass was not bad. I also wanted to get a chance to meet and buy crap from some of my favorite comics, i.e. Lucy Knisley and Erika Moen. These reasons are all pretty obvious. I also really liked the different panels being offered on Saturday, and then there is the part where I've never really gone to a con of sorts before. I'd like to go to MOCCAfest in the spring, and I had it in my head that I could get a table... but now based on the amount of work I have and the amount of people who might want to get a table with me, this seems unreasonable. At CCS this summer, Alec talked a bit about cons and trading, and sort of made it seem like standard good practice. I've bartered with people before when I've sold things at craft fairs (why yes you CAN have that mix tape for this book on the car-free lifestyle), but I knew it was going to take a bit to work up my courage to do it.

As I was standing by a table waiting to ask a girl who had a spread of 6 page, laser printed 24lb minicomics if she wanted to trade, a girl at the table next to her (with a septum ring and whose nametag said Spike) turned to me and said "which Emily are you? There are so many Emilys. What do you do?"

Clearly, Spike has never heard of Someday I Won't Suck. She isn't a twitter follower or facebook friend of mine, and I know it doesn't get a ton of traffic from outside of those sources.

I sort of stammer out about the blog I keep and I hand her the copy of Some Of Us one I've been waiting to try and trade with the other girl. She comments on my blog name, and after asking me my age she tells me she often thought that at 25 too. She flips through my minicomic, stops on the strip Red Plates, asks me if I use a brush and compliments me on my inking. She flips through the rest of it and then makes a sad face and says something about there not being many pages. I'm aware of the thinness of this. I probably made a total of three comics before I took that class in August, and when I was offered the opportunity to sell some stuff at Troy Night Out at the end of the summer, I decided to pull together what I had so I could actually get my name / work out there a little bit. I've been selling these minicomics for $1.50 because that covers the cost of making the copies and gives me back a little more. (Which will eventually cover the cost of the brush, t square, long arm stapler, etc). The first girl that I asked to trade seemed a little offended and then decided to, admitting that she'd never been asked that before. We lost our trading v card together. It was slightly awkward. After that I decided to undersell myself and think of my comics as worth $1, and offer to trade with other people selling comics for $1... and then I started offering a mix of cash and trade, which is the only way I can make up for my tiny tiny comic and still get the things I want AND get my comics into more hands. After the first awkward interaction, all my other offers to trade were well received.

I went to a few panels which were different combinations of hilarious and educating. I really appreciate NEWW because it is certainly more my scene than a DC / Marvel -centric comiccon. I mean, these were really the only people cosplaying.

During Tweet Me Harder, I really regretted not being able to tweet from my phone, but then I realized I didn't really have any idea what was going on anyhow.

Somehow we ended up discussing rhubarb and kale (how am I the only one familiar with these vegetables?) accordions, and the difference between Helvetica and Arial. All obscure subjects near and dear to my heart.

The inventor of the accordion? "It was somebody who was frustrated the piano was not a wind instrument."

Less ridiculous nuggets I jotted down:

Why do we still ink? Could just put your pencils up. It was a style born of necessity.

"Knowing how to use a brush makes me a better digital inker and a more versatile artist," - Meredith Gran

Spend as little money as you can to start. Once you develop your skill... THEN you'll understand why the expensive tools are worth it. Before that they're just toys.

Did you see the diary comic I made about it?

I took some footage. I'll throw it up on ChateauOfADeuce eventually.

Watch These In Order

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sat, 30 Oct 2010 17:30:00 +0000

First:

Next:

Last:

I love all these guys so much.

Maybe your attitude is the problem.

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 21:25:00 +0000

Maybe 30 minutes ago I found myself standing in line at the Breugger's in Troy. Breugger's is a regional chain of bagel shops, and there was a one-day-only no-strings-attached coupon for 6 free bagels. Some other people in line made mention of the people trying to get in, and I realized the door was locked because this specific Breugger's closes at 5. One of the other people in line, a girl I've had in class when I substitute, mentioned that she doesn't blame them, as she wouldn't want to have a shop open any later at this location.

The Troy Breugger's is around the corner from a major bus stop, the library, the court, and an all-girls college. This is NOT the epitome of unsafe in Troy.

Her comment sparked a big and semi heated discussion between myself and several other women in line, about feeling safe in Troy, businesses staying open later than 5 or 6, things for teenagers to do, and drugs and violence. One very outspoken woman had the opinion that businesses in Troy SHOULDN'T stay open late, that no one SHOULD be out after dark, and that it is entirely the kids' and their families' fault that they don't end up participating in the athletic activities provided for them. Seriously, every activity she mentioned had to do with sports. What if the kids don't LIKE sports? I never did, but I was PLENTY involved as a young person.

And what about the kids who don't want to participate? Isn't that what keeping eateries and the like open late is for? Some place to go and sit and flirt? Sure, maybe they'll fight, but that's when they get kicked out. "Take it outside."

I really wanted to say something to this woman about considering where they're going wrong with trying to reach kids. Maybe your approach is the problem. If you are really so ready to just throw up your hands and say 'oh well,' I really think you need to find a different organization to align yourself with.

I really think what we have here is a terrible case of fear mongering. These people were talking about where I live now, and also where I used to live in Albany, saying how these places are scary. I lived in Albany for 3 years; I'm going on my fourth year living in Troy. I have never once felt my life was in danger. ONCE I had a run in with a neighbor about my chickens. ONCE my house was egged.

I think that the desire to flee and the attitude of fear are a huge part of the problem here. I believe in the broken window theory, and I think that keeping businesses open can only help to make the streets feel safer.....and I already don't think they feel altogether unsafe.

Just last night I was recording a video about how if you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the problem. I think these ladies are part of the problem, and I find it rather disheartening.

-------

Last night I had a dream that there was a movie theater open in downtown Troy. While this is yet to be a reality, I am psyched about the Co-op that just opened! Read more here.

Ira Glass on Storytelling

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 15:00:00 +0000

This is SUCH good advice it is blowing my mind. Even more so that this advice is free and on the internet. I love and respect Ira Glass so highly and This American Life definitely has an influence on my storytelling.

Beard Math (Things that are mutually exclusive)

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 04 Oct 2010 19:57:00 +0000

[Your polygon being] Squares and triangles.
[Your non-layered attire being] Skirts and dresses.
[Your facial hair being] Beards and Goatees.

Last night I was schooled by Bobby (and probably Eric and Cody too) about the proper use of the term beard. I previously had believed it to include any substantial chin-covering facial hair, but now I know the truth. Apparently, if there's no real cheek coverage, then there is no real beard. Forgive my errors of ignorance over these past 10+ years. I really thought it worked out that bushy goatees were beards, but beards weren't necessarily bushy goatees. Much like how a square is a rectangle but a rectangle isn't necessarily a square. I feel like my ignorance in this area is due to my lack of testosterone, much like a lack of estrogen has led many men to confuse skirts and dresses.

Thanks 1 & 2 for supplying the fodder for this mashup.

Detroit Lives

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 19:39:00 +0000

I've thought for quite some time that Detroit was just Troy on a larger scale. If I move anywhere, it will probably be there. Check out this documentary featuring Johnny Knoxville behaving himself.

Ba dum CHT.

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 18:33:00 +0000

If you've ever seen me hit a table with each hand and then my elbow, you'll understand why I love this so much.

What are these recipes?

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 21:59:00 +0000

1 Large Green Cuke
1 Med Sized Ripe Avocado
Fresh Mint!
3-4 Stalks of Lemongrass infused in 200ml H2O & Chilled
200 ml LF yogurt
3-4 Sprigs of spring onion
salt

Puree

Mango Pudding

1/2C Cottage Cheese
1 Whole Ripe Mango
1/2 C Whole Milk
Sugar

Things written on a piece of paper.....thaaat I want to toss.

Can I Buy You A Drink?

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 01:28:00 +0000

When you're out at a bar, you get chatted up, and perhaps someone will offer to buy you a drink. This happens much more in movies than it does in my life, but it does happen every now and then. Just now, however, I got chatted up on the street, on my way to the store, and had a fellow attempt to pay for my half gallon of milk. What an odd thing.

I'm walking to the store because I think I don't get enough physical activity, and I'm trying to incorporate it more in my transportation. I could ride my bike but I'm in no hurry, and I think walking will provide more exercise. Also, not driving is sooo good for the earth and society and etcetera.

So I do this thing where if I cross someone on the street at night, I try to make eye contact and say hello. The reasons behind this are twofold: friendliness/community and also, it makes me a less appealing target if I can pick someone out of a lineup.

So as I'm walking to the store to get some milk just now, a short exchange of "hello"s and "how are you"s led to asking my name and walking with me the rest of the way to the store. Over the course of our walk, he asked me what I do for fun. I told him that I make videos on the internet, that I'm an artist, that I'm a creative type. He told me he raps. I asked him if he freestyles. He said he did and proved his worth by throwing down some rhymes that were about me but would really work for any girl he was chatting up.

When we got to the store he waited by the register and tried to pay for my milk. I, of course, wouldn't let him. I mean, what? It was just too weird a situation to accept a......drink.

As we left I told him that I was headed home and as nice as he was, I wasn't ready for him to know where I lived. He seemed to understand and asked if he could have my number or give me his. I asked if that, too, could wait until we ran into each other again.

As I walked home I wondered: would I have given that guy my number if he was wearing a plaid shirt and horn-rimmed glasses instead of a flat-brimmed baseball cap with his hair in braids? Is it terrible to favor someone of my own culture / subculture?

Maybe.

RE: Body Image / Health

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 22:47:00 +0000

Before you read further, please read this blogpost by the lovely Becky, and watch this video by the fabulous Paige.

I am trying to reconcile these two things, because I can sort of see and agree with both.

I think the difference is that Paige is talking about people mentioning weight issues out of a concern for someone's health, and Becky is talking about people discussing weight issues as a matter of aesthetics.

I really can't fathom Western society changing to the point where it is anything less than rude to state something about someone's weight matter-of-factly, but I think it would be beneficial to pay attention to someone to the point where we understand if they are healthy or not.

A few summers ago I spent some time in what is essentially but not actually an orphanage in Mexico. My friend I traveled with and I noticed things that seemed alarming in the eating habits of one girl (she mostly threw the bulk of her meals away), but it wasn't until I found her gagging herself with her toothbrush that I raised our concerns to the house madre. It wasn't that I thought she was too thin, it was that I thought her actions were unhealthy. See, this works both ways.

If someone expresses disdain for their own body image, instead of throwing them a "you're not fat," how about offering to participate in some physical activity together? My friend Luke did this for my friend Beth and me, and though I resisted at first, soon I was jogging several times a week with them, and that fall I ran my first 5K.

People noticed, too. I got people telling me I looked thinner and asking me about it.

This was a couple years ago and those friends have moved away and I hardly run anymore. During #818 I noticed I was much more physically active, and I think that it is because a lot of my time is spent sitting. Oh, internet. You can't really remotely be physically active with someone.

I went for a jog the other night and got that terrible itchy leg/ itchy belly thing. This time I decided to google it.

The first result was slightly embarrassing, but probably dead-on:

It usually occurs during exercise performed after a long period of inactivity. The itching is not on the skin, it’s inside the actual limbs. There are millions of tiny capillaries and arteries inside our muscles which expand rapidly due to the demand for more blood that is brought on by exercise. When fit, these capillaries remain open allowing maximum blood passage, but when unfit and inactive they tend to collapse, allowing only minimal blood passage (which is sufficient for a sedentary person however). The rapid expansion of these vessels causes adjacent nerves to send impulses back to the brain which are interpreted as an itch. That’s why after a few sessions the sensation tends to go away. Just another indication of increasing fitness levels.

So probably, I need to move around more. Also, it's completely ridiculous the standard of body weight that is prized by society. It isn't that people were loads skinnier years ago, it's just that the fashions didn't make you look ridiculous if you weren't extraordinarily thin. Check out this picture of my Grandma:

She's the one on the right. It's not that she was entirely lacking the sort of belly that I loathe on myself (moreso because kids ask me if I'm pregnant), it's just that her shorts rise above it. I hated high waist pants as a child, but now I totally understand the benefit.

Someday I won't suck.

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 06:18:00 +0000

I made a public comics blog for your enjoyment.

The goal is that if I just keep making things and throwing them up on the internet, I will someday not suck.

Oh! And don't forget that I'm really poor and you should buy some stuff from me so I can afford to pay my rent!!

818 Wrap-Up

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 25 Aug 2010 17:54:00 +0000

On Wednesday, August 18th occurred the first (to my knowledge) Albany YouTube gathering (organized by yours truly). While it wasn't a success by local gig standards (all of the local acts backed out), I'd say it was a huge success in terms of the number of people who traveled from out of town to be there. Over the past week or so, I've seen a lot of things posted about it, and it seemed appropriate that I sort of gather them here for you.

Here's a blogpost.

And some pictures:

A few vlogs:

And, of course, performance footage:

Things I've been told to check out

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 03:05:00 +0000

From papers I'd like to toss:

The Race for Theory - Barbara Christian

language as currency (up the ante, more currency)

Michel Foucoult -- Discipline & Punish -- now people are trained to be workers in the structure of a system

comic book? :( Martin Heiddeger

Jill Dolan
utopia in performance ... joy through performance

Amiri Baraka (Leroi Jones) -------> Black Arts

Controversial Black Mountain College

bell hooks (accessible?)

changing feminism

Men, Masculinity & Love

bertolt brecht

Ain't I A Woman?

Social Justice Conv & Performance

Peter Brooks Theater

Susan Sontag
the art of seeing

Bryant Gumball "For Those Who Don't Do Nuance" oversimplifying

My aim is true - Elvis Costello

Bootleg [10000 (Screaming) fans can't be wrong]

Handmade's Tale (book & movie) Vanessa Redgrave's daughter Natasha

New Teacher Project

SOS

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 16:34:00 +0000

Sometimes you wake up and realize there is only $10 in your checking account and you, as a substitute teacher, cannot expect to see any paychecks until at least October, based on the previous years' experience. And by "sometimes you", I of course mean, "this is what has happened to me".

I had decided that I would be working on my comic with Alec Longstreth intensity, attempting to ink and pencil a page a day for the rest of the month until my comic (projected 30 pages) is finished and ready to be mailed. Annnnd then I penciled in all of those receipts sitting in my wallet and had to face the cold, hard truth.

I really don't want to have to ask anyone to borrow money, and I had some paychecks and cash lying around that made up a portion of the rent that will come due at the end of this month, but next month...well, I need to earn the entirety of that between now and October 1st.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't as though I've been NOT doing anything. I had been scheduled to teach a summer camp at the local arts center, but that got canceled due to low sign ups. I also did some work for a local paper, and I've yet to see any green, or even hear anything back from them, now that I've spent hours upon hours doing what I didn't consider volunteer work.

So, faithful blog reader, here is the part where I span the gap from secure to feeling sleazy.

I realize that, as a printmaker, I have a TON of prints, some of them considered rather beautiful, just sitting in a giant portfolio in my house, not being viewed by anyone, taking up space. "WHAT IF," I thought to myself, "WHAT IF I sold these at prices drastically reduced from what I would normally ask?"

So I'm doing just that. For instance, I'd usually sell this print for $85.

I'm even offering to sell my only remaining print (I believe there were only 8 to begin with, and only 4 on paper) of The Birth of the TV Dinner, a local favorite, for 75% off what I had previously said was my absolutely lowest price. It's still $500, and you have to pick it up, but if you are willing to pay $500, which would cover all the money I'm trying to raise, then I am totally willing to part with it. (Desperate times - desperate measures, etc.)

I'll probably be relisting some earrings and other things on there as well. If you are at all interested in buying something, or sharing my stuff with others, that would be MUCH appreciated.

If you live in my area, I think I'll be having a print sale at my apartment, bargain-basement style, to hopefully sell some of the larger pieces that wouldn't easily ship, or some of the things I happen to have framed.

Oh! And to bring it full circle, you can also preorder my comic which will hopefully get me back on track.

FULL DISCLOSURE: also inspired by Alec Longstreth, and maybe a little by Tom, I've been learning to type using the Dvorak keyboard layout. I've been increasing the places I use it, and it's been getting easier and easier for me, but I decided I'd type this blog entry in qwerty for efficiency....and I keep looking at my Dvorak keychart and typing jibberish :o

Red Plates

noreply@blogger.com (Emily) — Mon, 02 Aug 2010 15:34:00 +0000

So on my way to the White River Junction to take a class at the fabulous Center for Cartoon Studies, I stop to get some gas. After filling up my tank, I start accelerating. For much of the past few miles I got caught behind a truck in a no pass zone. I'm clearly glad to be rid of him and having the chance to.... stretch my wings, say. This relief didn't last long as I soon found myself on the tail of a large Blazer going painfully slow.

Though it wasn't my intent to be right on his tail, I figure that it will probably send "hurry up" signals, and as I'm trying to figure out why this guy has red plates in a state where all the rest are green, he puts on his directional.

Yes! He's letting me pass!

Only as I went to pass him I read "POLICE" on the side of his vehicle and promptly pulled over as he switched on his lights.

The painful thing is, I remember thinking earlier in the journey that I ought not to get pulled over in this 'other state' as I'd yet to replace the one I left on the airplane on my way home from LA.

As I hand this pignosed, moonfaced man my passport and registration, I offer: "I've misplaced my license."

He's incredulous: "You've MISPLACED your LICENSE?!?"

"Yeah, I need to get a new one. I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

As he scolds me and looks over the documentation I've given him, I continue to respond with "I'm sorry." What else do you do in this situation? I was clearly in the wrong, and I'm sure that letting him know that I didn't realize he was a cop isn't going to help me any.

"I don't care that you're sorry! I still feel like writing you a ticket!!"

"I can still say I'm sorry." Sheesh!

"Are you in a hurry?"

I wasn't, but I figure that can't be a good thing to tell him now, so I just say: "Sort of."

"Well I don't care about your hurry!"

He takes my stuff and heads back to his vehicle. I think about how this being in another state will just be a fine, and although that sucks, it's better than points on my license.

He comes back 5 minutes later and hands me my stuff back. "Apology accepted."

I sit confused for a moment and he starts in: "Now I don't care how you drive in New York, here in Vermont we're nice to each other! Your unsafe! It's NOT NICE!"

I feel like a preschooler. Is he REALLY yelling at me with these words? Whatever, it seems he wasn't able to write me a ticket.

"It's NOT NICE!"

and then before turning away, as if to spit in my face, he adds (with mild disdain): "Your earrings are weird."

Duh.