Chapter 5 Rainbow Bridge

2012-07-16T01:49:00.002-07:00

She was a brilliant dog. I may not have faith in any specific religion but I would love to believe there is a place called Rainbow Bridge. Goodbye dear Twister. You weren't 'just a dog' as some might say: you were my best friend and family. You will be missed.

TWISTER

March 2001- July 2012

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Her bright eyes are intent; Her eager body quivers. Suddenly she begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, her legs carrying her faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together.

Author unknown.

DO Not Disturb.

2012-07-08T03:12:00.001-07:00

Am getting a little frustrated that I cant switch off. Have been trying to have a complete day of 'nothing' for a week now-it still hasn't happened. Might be time to book a hideaway somewhere..hmm.

Keep it simple.

2012-04-11T20:09:00.001-07:00

Stumbled upon an article yesterday. Definitely worth a read.

(Source: www.purposefairy.com)

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame. Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk. Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining. Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism. Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change. Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels. Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears. Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses. Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past. I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment. This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another, attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations. Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves. You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.

I love you but goodbye.

2012-03-14T23:21:00.001-07:00

Dedicated to my late grandmother. I miss you already.

30.09.1926 - 10.03.2012

Lyrics: Langhorne Slim: I Love you but goodbye..

Why did you come?
If you can’t stay forever
How could you leave me all
alone on this Earth

Who was I before you?
I can’t remember
Why couldn’t I have been the one to
Leave here first?

I love you but goodbye
I love you but goodbye

No words of wisdom
Can make me feel better
Lately I’m having hard days and I
I curse the night

Maybe I’ll fly far away
And try to forget her
Maybe I’ll stay right where I am and
get on with my life

She said I love you but goodbye
I love you but goodbye
A bird with clipped wings can still sing
But can no longer fly

What are we here for?
Who makes the decision?
For every beginning
There must come an end

I want to thank you darling
For all that you’ve given
I want to thank you, thank you for
being my friend

And I love you but goodbye
I love you but goodbye
I love you but goodbye
I love you but goodbye

Flab to Fab

2012-02-15T01:49:00.000-08:00

I blogged a couple of weeks about the desperate need I have to lose weight. So instead of cluttering this blog, I decided to start another blog dedicated to my progress, aims etc Its one way I can keep track of my efforts, my fitness and health levels as well my weight loss. Let the journey begin! (although technically I started after the visit to the doctor).

Tech Millionaires under 30

2012-02-02T18:30:00.000-08:00

Click image to enlarge

Source: H&R Block

50 Questions that will free your mind.

2012-02-01T17:39:00.000-08:00

Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
Which is worse, failing or never trying?
If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?
When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?
What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?
If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?
Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?
If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?
To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?
Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?
You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?
If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?
Would you break the law to save a loved one?
Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?
Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?
Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?
Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?
Why are you, you?
Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?
Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?
What are you most grateful for?
Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?
Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
Has your greatest fear ever come true?
Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?
What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?
At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?
If not now, then when?
If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?
Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?
Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?
If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?
Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?
Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?
Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?
What is the difference between being alive and truly living?
When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?
If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?
What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?
When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?
What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?
In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?
Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Original article at this website: http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/

Trim it.

2012-01-30T04:01:00.000-08:00

I am overweight. I know it. I thought about my 'lifestyle today' and I do have my pros and cons. I have been trying to live as healthy as possible, I actually eat a lot of vegetables, I have my 5 a day, I don't eat much, I have reduced my drinking to almost zero (in fact since I got back in October I have had 7 drinks.) 7 drinks in 4 months is not bad. I have reduced my smoking.

I know I have to be healthier; I need to change my diet (My bad habit of not eating the whole day and only eat in the evenings!), I need to be a lot more active on a daily basis not just when we have groups in and I need to cut out the nicotine completely. According to the doctor I need to significantly reduce my carbs due to my 'condition'.

Yes, the doctor. It takes a visit to the doctor to push me to lose the excess baggage I have been carrying (losing and putting it back on) since 2009. For health and baby making purposes I need to lose 18kg.

Is he shitting me 18kg? Oh yeah by the way the 'condition' I am in makes it difficult for me to lose weight in fact if anything my weight has increased significantly because of it. Not ready to blog about the 'condition' yet, am going to do a bit of research on it first.

Till then. Broccoli and carrots are my new best friends. Saying that its awesome that I have the support of my loved ones. My husband is my new diet buddy and my cousin offered to spend some afternoons walking with me. Family and friends: what would you do without them?

Change.

2011-12-30T22:01:00.000-08:00

Here we are again; at the end of another year. This time round I am feeling rather numb. I am looking forward to the new year and I cant wait to put the current year to an end. Similarly I can't ignore my feelings of anxiety and nervousness as I look upon the calendar for 2012. I would say that 2011 has not been easy for me but that would not be fair as I still live a life easier than some. I appreciate having a roof over my head, food on the table & great family & friends. Its definitely been a year of equal happiness and sadness; some may say its a good balance but I am actually keen (who wouldnt be!?) to have a 'happiness heavy' year in 2012. I am prepared to struggle for the first half but a 'prolonged' happiness for a few months would be nice. Am rather sick of listening to others tell me 'Your happiness is in your own hands and you can change how you feel, you should not be affected by those around you' --shut up! Mum being diagnosed with cancer (again) is not mine to change, my 1 year old nephew with his constant fits & seizures is not in my hands to change, the misfortune of the people I love around me is not something I can change & unless I am a robot: I can't detach myself from certain emotions, plus my own personal worries & problems which I need to deal with as well.

So 2012; please be kind, I am not asking to win the lottery. I promise I will work hard, be kind to others and kick some bad habits. I would like to be a better me and if you fancy shoving a couple of pennies my way, I would appreciate it too.

Your truly,

Mia in 2011

P.S Hoping everyone out there has better year ahead.

Its here.

2011-12-04T06:25:00.000-08:00

Xmas in this part of the world is a little bit different. Yes. There is the annoying commercialisation of yet another festivity. But looking closer come December I do find that people are more inclined to be involved in charitable and social work, people are more generous, courteous and a time when people are somewhat more pleasant.

For me its simple: I love the festivities, for many different reasons, Its a celebration of a year just passed and a new year about to begin, its a gathering of families and a time spent with loved ones.

From the lights in the shops, to the manic shoppers & the abundance of turkeys in the supermarkets freezers. You know its Xmas & I love it.

Happy Xmas-John Lennon & Yoko Ono

So this is Christmas

And what have you done?

Another year over

And a new one just begun

And so this is Christmas

I hope you have fun

The near and the dear one

The old and the young

A very merry Christmas

And a happy New Year

Let's hope it's a good one

Without any fear

And so this is Christmas

For weak and for strong

For rich and the poor ones

The world is so wrong

And so happy Christmas

For black and for white

For yellow and red ones

Let's stop all the fight

A very merry Christmas

And a happy New Year

Let's hope it's a good one

Without any fear

And so this is Christmas

And what have we done

Another year over

And a new one just begun

And so this is Christmas

I hope you have fun

The near and the dear one

The old and the young

A very merry Christmas

And a happy New Year

Let's hope it's a good one

Without any fear

War is over over

If you want it War is over Now...

55 days

2011-11-06T06:44:00.000-08:00

As I get older. Time seems to move along alot quicker. Exactly 55 days till we bid goodbye to 2011 and say hello to 2012. Its been a quite a struggle this year, however I cant knock some of things I have accomplished this year. Blood, sweat & tears and I'm still very much alive and breathing towards the end of the year. I predict an even more challenging year ahead, I cant say I am prepared but before I delve into 2012, I still have 55 days to accomplish more things in 2011.

2011, we're not over you yet; please provide us with a little more laughter, happy & unexpected surprises and whole dose of motivation.

Imagine

2011-10-18T04:41:00.001-07:00

This song has been in my head for the past couple of days. Lennon rocks.

Imagine there's no Heaven
It's easy if you try
No hell below us
Above us only sky
Imagine all the people
Living for today

Imagine there's no countries
It isn't hard to do
Nothing to kill or die for
And no religion too
Imagine all the people
Living life in peace

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Imagine no possessions
I wonder if you can
No need for greed or hunger
A brotherhood of man
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world

You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will live as one

Photo taken in an underpass, walking to our local pub in Weymouth, England.

Inspiring video of Emmanuel Kelly singing "Imagine" by John Lennon.

jobs

2011-10-12T22:31:00.001-07:00

social media illness

2011-10-12T21:31:00.000-07:00

Social media networks: good or bad? useful or useless?
Try as I might I am unable to downsize the number of social media networks I am registered to. Before you ask; No. I don't update my Facebook status every flippin' hour with what I've had to eat/done in the toilet/my dogs activities BUT I do tweet & sometimes about the most mundane of activities that no one in the world would find interesting (except a few close friends.. perhaps!) There are definite pros and cons and when utilised correctly it has brought more benefits then actual problems (for me, I can't say the same for others!). In fact one of the main reason to why I registered with social media networks initially was due to the nature of my work. Being an 'outdoorsy', globetrotting individual means less time indoors, more time outdoors and more time spent away in some jungle/foreign country; which made it easier to keep in touch with family and friends and letting them know what I was up to through sites such as Facebook. Saying that though, I think handwritten letters and emails are personal and I would prefer receiving personal messages and letters (quite rare these days), however when you have 30 odd family members and a dozen friends scattered across the globe, writing an individual/mass email takes up quite a bit of time; whereas with Facebook,. it is socially acceptable to post a short message on a persons wall or send a quick direct message without it being super long.

Ie;
Dear Mum & Dad.
Sorry haven't been in touch, check out my photos from my recent trip. We're doing well and surviving. Will call once we have the chance! Miss you loads.

M

Now that I am based in one country and am running a business (in the same industry: outdoor education, adventure travel) all the social media networks available have proven to be a priceless marketing tool and a way to get our names out there instantly plus information about us is available online to 100's and 1000's of potential and existing clients.
Also a proven success was a recent tree-planting campaign we did; we were extremely short of funds: to cut a long story short we weren't granted the funds we needed to plant the number of trees we initially pledged to plant. I started the campaign with 0 trees (each tree costing MYR5/GBP1/USD1.60) 2 days later: 300 trees, 4 days later 600 trees and the 5th and final day of the campaign I raised enough money to plant 700 trees. For a 5 day campaign, which was targeted towards friends and family; that's a pretty impressive amount to raise. The traditional method of campaigning would see me out on the streets, calling various people, posting up flyers... its amazing how one little Facebook status not only increased the number of trees but awareness of what we were doing as a company! Which is why I have now signed up to almost all the existing social media networks out there to test the efficiency of a particular app and to compare the responses. I have spoken to quite a few people who moan and groan about Facebook/Twitter/Myspace and say they really can't be bothered reading about others and updating their lives online, privacy issues etc etc: to those who complain about the ever-growing social media network, just say NO then, sign out, stop complaining that its a pain to update your status on a regular basis or bitching about someone posting/blogging about issues you don't necessarily agree with, guess what? They have every right to do so and you have every right to sign off and deactivate/delete your account or block them, I occasionally get frustrated and think why would she/he post that offensive article/quote-in actual fact: it is none of my business. As for my own personal accounts: I use 3. I am fast blocking followers to my twitter account and tweaking privacy settings as I find twitter to be my one & only outlet and I do understand that people don't really want to know what's happening in my life except a few close friends and family; so if I block you on twitter or if you unfollow me, its for your own benefit: trust me.

Jet-lag

2011-10-06T08:20:00.000-07:00

I have never been so cranky after a flight; I was a walking time bomb and the hubs could see I was fuming at everything! Its been a looooong journey so far and we've still not arrived at our destination yet! The local time is 11:02 pm, my body clock on the other hand is working in a different time zone and its currently 4.00pm where we were originally. I could'nt sleep so I decided to read up about the weird and wonderful world of jet lag.

"The symptoms of jet lag can be quite varied, depending on the amount of time zone alteration, time of day and individual differences. They may include the following:

Headaches (on the flight!)
Fatigue, irregular sleep patterns, insomnia (HELL YEAH!)
Disorientation, grogginess, irritability (Most definitely..)
Mild depression (Probably not..)
Constipation or diarrhoea (not to be descriptive but yes the latter!)

There seems to be some evidence that for most people, travelling west to east is more disruptive. This may be because most people have a circadian period which is a bit longer than 24 hours, making it easier to stay up later than to get up earlier.

It may also be that flights to the east are more likely to require people to stay awake more than one full night in order to adjust to the local time zone. For example, comparing a typical schedule for a traveller flying to the west vs a traveller flying to the east:

Westbound from London to Los Angeles. Time zone difference: 8 hours.

Westbound	Biological clock London local time	Los Angeles local time
Departure	JAN 29 – 10:05	JAN 29 – 02:05
Arrival	JAN 29 – 21:10	JAN 29 – 13:10
Bedtime	JAN 30 – 06:00	JAN 29 – 22:00

Eastbound	Biological clock Los Angeles local time	London local time
Departure	JAN 29 – 15:50	JAN 29 – 23:50
Arrival	JAN 30 – 02:00	JAN 30 – 10:00
Bedtime	JAN 30 – 14:00	JAN 30 – 22:00

Westbound Biological clock
London local time Los Angeles local time
Departure JAN 29 – 10:05 JAN 29 – 02:05
Arrival JAN 29 – 21:10 JAN 29 – 13:10
Bedtime JAN 30 – 06:00 JAN 29 – 22:00
Eastbound from Los Angeles to London.
Eastbound Biological clock
Los Angeles local time London local time
Departure JAN 29 – 15:50 JAN 29 – 23:50
Arrival JAN 30 – 02:00 JAN 30 – 10:00
Bedtime JAN 30 – 14:00 JAN 30 – 22:00
The first scenario is equivalent to staying up all night and going to bed at 6 a.m. the next day—8 hours later than usual. But the second scenario (eastward) is equivalent to staying up all night and going to bed at 2 p.m. the next day—14 hours after the time one would otherwise have gone to bed. Some sleep onboard may help the situation somewhat.

(This is actually quite accurate, I always suffer (more) from jet lag travelling from West to East!)

There is a jet lag calculator online where you can key in the relevant information and they suggest a solution, apparently for me this is recommended for countering the jet lag this time round:

TRAVELLING EAST
DAY 1
AVOID LIGHT between 08:00 and 13:00 (1:00pm) then SWITCH to SEEK BRIGHT LIGHT until 16:00 (4:00pm)
DAY 2
AVOID LIGHT between 05:00 and 10:00 then SWITCH to SEEK BRIGHT LIGHT until 13:00 (1:00pm)

SEEKING BRIGHT LIGHT
When it calls for bright light (frequently this turns out to be after you have arrived) you should spend time outdoors if possible as normal indoor lighting or the light coming through a window is not bright enough to reset the biological clock. (The amount of light you need is about enough to take a photo with a low cost camera without using flash).

AVOIDING LIGHT
The Trip Guide indicates specific times when exposure to light would be counter productive. Stay indoors and away from windows if possible during these times. If you need to go outside at a time the Guide tells you to avoid light, wear appropriate light blocking glasses that are designed to reduce light to appropriate levels (normal sunglasses typically are not dark enough). Take care not to wear them in a situation where the light level is too low for them to be worn safely.

I wonder if this method works... am going to try and sleep now, as I have to wake up at 4am!

The dog with the red bow tie.

2011-10-04T15:52:00.000-07:00

One of the things I love about travelling is meeting people. I have met many extraordinary characters on my travels, in fact I have also met many people who are similar (".. I swear I met an Asian version of you when I was in China!") My hubs being the conversationalist that he is, can strike up a conversation with anyone--literally anyone off the streets. In his travels he has picked up a couple of hitch hikers as well as other random stragglers. Last night was an interesting evening, after a mini-reunion with a load of friends, family and ex-colleagues, we were on our way back to where we were staying in London, when we came across a homeless man with a dog wearing a red bow tie. The hubs at this point turned to me and asked whether I had any small change, I had a one pound coin and I thought he was going to give the guy the money and we would then be happily on our way. The dog initially barked at us as we approached the odd pair and settled down when the hubs started a conversation with his owner. We ended up sitting on the street with this guy and his dog for a good hour just chatting as strangers walked past us looking at us as if we were complete lunatics. In fact the dog (her name was Missy) decided to climb up on my lap for a nice long cuddle! The guy then started telling us about his life and how he ended up on the streets and how he once had nice home with a job, wife, daughter and his beautiful dog. Unfortunately both wife and daughter died, so he and Missy took to the streets as he struggled to cope after the deaths and couldn't hold a job and eventually lost everything. I was stunned, I didn't know what to say, here I was wondering whether I would have enough money for a PS3 and here was a guy struggling to look after himself as well his dog! It really broke my heart. It was getting late and as much as I wanted to give him every penny I had, I could only offer to buy him a meal--we were sitting outside a kebab shop and I think the staff knew I was buying food for the guy and they threw in a couple of extras-that was really nice of them. Being homeless is one thing, but being homeless in a country where the weather can turn really nasty overnight must be a massive struggle.

"Adversities such as being homeless and going to prison has made many people stronger."
Philip Emeagwali

Rollercoaster

2011-09-24T15:47:00.000-07:00

A friend once said: 'Life is like a rollercoaster ride, there will be ups and downs'. Despite having heard this saying years before it came out of his mouth, I never really thought about it till the start of my stint working for RI. Since he first said it to me in 2005, its been sitting at the back of my mind and every time an obstacle is placed in my way and times are a struggle, I can't help but think: when will this ride be over?

3rd time's a charm

2011-09-24T12:06:00.000-07:00

I have been a very distracted blogger this year. I haven't completely disappeared from the blogosphere, it's one way I keep in touch with family, friends and strangers. I read blogs on a daily basis and I try to update the company blog when time permits. All this technology and so little time *sigh* sometimes I forget why I started (and still maintain) this blog! I do realise though that it's one of the best ways for me to jot down thoughts and events for the year. I cringe at times when I read posts from the pasts but its an amazing tool to be able to understand why I am the way I am and where I am today.

At the moment I am back in (surprisingly) sunny England for my 3rd wedding ceremony in 2 years! (to the same man of course) This time next week, I will be walking down the aisle with my father-in-law and maid of honour to the song "Somewhere over the rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'Ole. It will be nice having family and friends who weren't able to attend our wedding in Borneo to this ceremony but I miss having certain people here with me including my parents. I have a week to sort out some details for the wedding (including flowers and shoes!) and it will be weird going about it alone.. although my MOH has offered, she's in London and I'm way down south in Weymouth.*fingers crossed* Wedding no. 3 goes well and I don't trip down the aisle! I still don't have shoes for the wedding--trainers/sneakers perhaps?

socially inept.

2011-01-22T09:24:00.001-08:00

The past 5 years of travelling, working and being part of a big staff team has been brilliant as I've never been short of having friends to chat, socialise and discuss ideas with. These were the perks of living the life in the outdoors jumping from one country to another; everyday was an adventure and there was always a social gathering of different people. After having a multitude of living arrangements from shared accommodation, tents, living in the middle of the desert, from living in a shoe-box to a mansion; I have learnt to adapt and make anyplace feel like home.

However, as of recently I have found it very difficult to 'adapt'. Looking at how we're living our life now actually leaves me feeling rather empty inside and its definitely taken a toll on my confidence as well as my motivation to work. These days my constant companions are my hubby and my laptop. My social life and work revolves around interacting with people via the internet. I am not ungrateful and I do count my blessings but there are days when I feel like packing up and leaving again. There were many reasons for us to return and start our own company but sometimes there are days that are bleak and I forget those reasons that got me here.

The hubs and I had an interesting night last night. I initiated a conversation with the hubs and spent 2 hours discussing it. I asked him: "Have I become this uninteresting boring married person? Do people find me so incredibly dull that I have very little contact with actual people (as opposed to interacting with people online!) and am no longer invited to social gatherings?" Being the loyal hubs he assured me that it wasn't the case. He reminded me how we're in a situation where we are struggling as its only 2 of us building this business and we're doing enough work to keep 10 people on their toes, money is tight, we're back living with my parents and we do have other responsibilities.

After highlighting the fact that we were broke, that we have a non-existent social life and we're still living with my parents, I was even more miserable. Then we started looking at the big picture (plus alcohol was added to the whole equation! Screw the finances for the day!) The night turned into a fun night where we met some random people and started chatting with them and then hopped on to another pub and started chatting with random people there.

I am human, I crave contact, intellectually stimulating conversations, a good laugh and a good whine once in awhile. I know things could be worse and that some people have bigger problems and some of my friends are actually struggling to put food on the table. Thing is; I'm simply looking for a little bit of sunshine in this very gloomy time.

Not looking forward to February, a month on my own with my laptop as the hubs is heading off to Oman. I know I need help when I start talking to my laptop.

................

Till then Goodnight Ms. Laptop and Mr. Internet it was so nice seeing you again. Same time and place tomorrow?

to do or not to do..

2011-01-14T09:13:00.000-08:00

I find motivation and inspiration from random sources: books, blog posts, a program on tv, movie, conversations, etchings on a park bench, scribbles on a coaster in a bar.. however, as of recently I've been so demotivated and inspiration has not presented itself.

Motivation & Inspiration needed (any shape/form). Suggestions?

Black, White, Yellow & Brown.

2011-01-09T18:11:00.000-08:00

I believe I am quite a tolerant person. In fact I know I tolerate most things a person probably shouldnt have to. I do this to avoid confrontation and to keep the peace. However the one issue close to heart, which I do NOT and will not tolerate is: racism (and for over the past 7 years the issue keeps popping up on my blog!). Not till yesterday did I realise how blinded and biased I have been with just one category of racism. These are the things you learn from being in a mixed marriage.

Prior to a recent incident, I recognised 2 major categories of racism : Negative and positive.

The difference:

Negative-The common sort that we observe and clearly understand as being wrong on many levels and laws now exist to protect individuals against such racism.

Positive-The category of racism people wont necessarily understand as its targeted primarily (but not exclusively) at Caucasians.

I have experienced both. However, negative racism is the one category I have grown to understand with much depth, having been about 6 years old when I first experienced it living in England!

The subject of positive racism was broached when a recent photo on FB which I actually thought was funny and not at all demeaning, in fact I piped in and said the photo was cool and 'liked' the photo! Big mistake (I have since removed my comment and 'unliked the photo).

A Caucasian serving a group of asians: Caption Photo: My times have changed from colonial rule and some comments to follow weren't very polite. Ie: Dont forget to wash my car after you finish serving.

I was told to turn tables around:

An asian serving a load of caucasians: Caption photograph: (Would anyone dare make any comments?) Or if they did and said 'Ah an Asian in his/her place. Clean the toilets after this!' That would cause a major uproar and I would be unbelievably offended!

Having tried to defend myself as to why I found the photo amusing and explaining that we were just having a laugh, I then realised I'm doing exactly what I said would never do: Make someone feel uncomfortable especially when its in relation to their nationality and race. I was gross generalising the entire Caucasian race and targeting someone who does not deserve it. So their ancestors were racist pigs doesn't make them racist too! Its not them being sensitive, its people like us who are being insensitive.

I have realised that I, Ms. Preachy Preach on racism, have been the ignorant one. Seeing someone I care, truly hurt from 'positive racism' broke my heart and to think I have been ignoring the subject for so long, it wasn't one incident but an accumulation of events.

What I have learned: There is no such thing as positive racism, there is only racism.

Snippets.

2011-01-06T08:16:00.000-08:00

Word.

grumpy chops.

2011-01-06T08:08:00.000-08:00

There is definitely a weird bug in the air? I've been blog hopping and it seems that everyone has been ill over the holidays. SO its not just me. Saying that: I am so sick of being sick. Its hard to motivate myself to do anything when I feeling so rubbish. Boo.

Blog 2011

2011-01-04T01:14:00.000-08:00

Happy 2011 cybertwerps! How did everyone start the new year? Did you spend 18 hours in the office instead of 17? Enroll yourself as a member of a spanky new gym? Had a kick-ass meal to start the year?

I spent the past couple of days reading my old blog (as well as being sick in bed!), reading specifically my 'new years posts' from 2004 - 2009. December was the month when I would blog the most. Its been almost 7 years since I've started blogging and I find that in the past couple years, I have not been blogging as much as I would have liked to. I now regret not updating my blog, as it was quite entertaining reading my posts from the past, its such an awesome way of keeping a log of what I've been up to. As for the new year posts I was never one to write down or think of any resolutions for the coming year but so far with the things I have wanted to change/accomplish, I have managed to change with the exception of : my nicotine addiction. It is one habit I really need to boot, but havent announced to the whole world as I fear the onslaught of nagging that will come with it, especially if I dont succeed!

I will and I know I should: so that would be something I need to change/accomplish this year.

Dear 2011, 2010 has been challenging, I've never asked for much and have been quite grateful for the way life has panned for me but please, please, please let this year be a successful year in all areas.

Yours truly,

Me.

smog. wog.

2010-11-20T21:20:00.000-08:00

Photo above is my home for 4 weeks :) Central Hong Kong is completely different though. There is actually a daily announcement on pollution levels and if its high that particular day: then the environmental board will actually advise citizens of Hong Kong to stay indoors! Its quite nice where we are as we're not affected (much) by the pollution. Although saying that I am now finding myself heading into central Hong Kong frequently due to work and having to put on my best corporate look when I do go in. I left the corporate world for a reason and due to certain circumstances, I find myself plodding along with the rest of the corporate world in this race to get to the office! I am looking forward to to the end of the week when this is all over. I dont think I can return to corporate world anytime soon. Lots going on at the moment, work and my own business has brought me to Hong Kong. Its a great experience, I do love the little treasures I find along the way of being somewhere foreign but now I cant wait to get back to the smog free environment that is KK, Sabah, Borneo...