On a completely random note, I’m not sure if you’ve been following what’s been happening in Arizona, but this has just taken a turn for the silly. According to the Huffington Post, teachers are now prohibited, amongst other issues, to teach English if they have an accent.  Three things about this specifically tick me off:

1. In my experience, people that learned English as a second language usually have a better understanding of grammar rules. Most of my American born friends really don’t know what a “present continuous” or a “past perfect” are.
2. During the 90s, Arizona specifically went out of its way to hire bilingual teachers who had English as a second language.
3. Given the sheer stupidity of the situation, I fear its only a matter of time before some board of education applies this to other school subjects or across a broader academic base. I went to one if the top Tech schools in the nation, and I can honestly say that a good 80% of my professors in fields of math and science had foreign accents. But that didn’t matter, what mattered was that they were some of the best in the world at what they did.

Ugh

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Ok, I am jamming out to this right now, and I dare you not to. It’s a track from a Goldeneye mashup album by NYC based producer Alex Kresovich. I’m blown away. To download the full album visit his site at http://www.goldnfly.com/

And of course, no Goldeneye discussion in 2010 will be complete without this picture

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Only one picture can describe what I am feeling right now.

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Look at these overtanned ladies. Pretty awesome right? ((*caugh*)). Well, thanks to the Obamacare bill that passed yesterday, these ladies are gonna have to pay a little more money to look all leathery. After reading Reuters’ fact checking explanation of what Obamacare actually entails, without the hooting and hollering of the supporters or opposition (you can go to MSNBC or FOX News for that, respectively), I found this amazing piece of information:

A 10 percent tax on indoor tanning services that use ultraviolet lamps goes into effect on July 1.

That’s right guidos and guidettes, your worse than mustard gas habit will now see a 10% tax, so you’ll have to choose between that next tanning session or Ed Hardy shirt (because we all know you don’t have enough for both, except for the Jersey Shore cast of course).

So how do you feel about that Jersey Chick?

You sad

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If you do not follow these lessons, GSP will give you his serious face.

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Vodka, Gin, Rum, Tequila, Triple Sec, Blue Curacao, Sour Mix, Splash of Sprite. Mix it together, you get this blue guy that doesn’t taste like alcohol at all but will knock you out in 2, maybe 3 hits (1 if you’re small).

For example, here is my thought process from the night I first had it:

Hadoken 1: “Wow, this tastes great”

Hadoken 2 start: “Well, I got my drink, let me go talk to some girls”.

Hadoken 2 end:  talking to said girls, but feeling drunker by the minute… saying stuuupid shit

Hadoken 3: “bleeeeeeaah”.

Next thing I know i wake up at home and there’s a pizza box next to me. So yeah, enjoy the Hadoken responsibly.

Enjoy

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Chickenheads rejoice – Bravo’s Millionaire Matchmaker is coming to NYC. Patti Stanger will bring her “humiliate the guys that pay you into settling for what they don’t want” and “you’re hot so please have a sense of entitlement” brand of matchmaking to the streets of New York for the 4th season of her show.

I can’t wait – New York City golddiggers are a rare breed – asking you about your intentions and your “5 year plan” 10 minutes into a hangout. And they’ve been hit with tough times – bottle service in clubs are down, people are losing their jobs, and people are not so quick to spend obscene amounts of money on a girl to impress her.

Thankfully, for the chickenheads, Patti is here. Because there is nothing sadder than watching middle aged people interact on their own during a recession. How do I know- I was invited to an “old people party” recently, where I was the only person with a full head of hair and an ability to hold a conversation without mentioning my occupation.

Patti Stanger – your business disgusts me, but you entertain the shit out of me. So keep putting these hard working guys down and make them settle. As for me, I’ll be the guy that these chickenheads sleep with when they’re cheating on your clients;-)

(SOURCE)

PS: If you want to be a chickenhead or a gameless rich guy on the show, visit http://www.millionairesclub123.com/, and don’t talk to me:-)

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In what might be my coolest headline ever, two gay clubs in Florida (Living Room in Fort Lauderdale and DiscoTekka in Miami), have both thrown Avatar themed parties, Miami Times reports, where scantily clad dudes and dudes were replaced were scantily clad blue dudes and dudes.

According to the article:

The Fort Lauderdale club went for the full Cameron Friday night. Christian Leonard, the club’s publicist, says it took ten people, eight hours to fully transform the already Amazon-like space into something resembling Pandora. They painted the floor with fluorescent colors, and covered the ceiling with weedy netting to resemble a canopy. The typically scantily clad bartenders were scantily clad again, only bluer. Drag queens Na’vi-ly accessorized with head-dresses and day-glow makeup. The club even hired a face-painter to bedazzle the gays, gratis.

We now ask my gay friends for commentary:

“Yeah…. we just really need an excuse to dress up”

“Bears will feel out of place there as there are no fat hairy Na’Vi”

“This is fucking stupid”

So how would one go about finding out about such parties? Maybe you were one of the lucky ones to get a flier.

The party seems to have paid off, as the owners of both establishments said that over 4 000 people visited the clubs.

To be honest, I am personally hoping that there is a straight version of this in the NYC area soon, because I am all about tall skinny scantily clad girls painting themselves.

((SOURCE))

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((Source and Photo From the New York Post))

According to the NY Post, Nicole Slama, a former cocktail waitress at Quo in NYC is suing Gary Malhotra, the owner and her former boss, because he wanted to do coke off her body. He of course claims that he just wants money from him.

You know what… ugh… I dont even care at the moment with too much shit going on in my own life. But, no matter who is proven to be a liar, stories like this just make me want to go to an Irish bar to do my drinking.

I am cheered up:-) This man has a green beard, your argument is invalid

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Oh snaaaap! Conan O’Brien is BACK! He will headline a comedy show April 30th at the Dodge Theater in Phoenix. Phoenix people – get your tickets, starting March 8th, HERE:

http://www.ticketmaster.com/Conan-OBrien-tickets/artist/1417901

Si, Conando!

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