Celebrities Suck

Kate Sans Paint Makes Me Feel Great!

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 20:49:00 +0000

I found this at Chelsea Handler's blog at www.eonline.com.

I love Chelsea Handler. She is hilarious.

Now she is mocking Kate Hudson for being A-Rod's new shadow. Apparently, she has no life and is following him around like a puppy dog. I could care less about that.

No, what makes me happy is Kate's picture.

Kate's picture? Sans makeup and special lighting? Makes me feel beautiful.

Is that wrong?

David Carradine's Death photo

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 20:07:00 +0000

Ok, so we've all heard what happened to this guy.
I believe it's still under debate if it was a homicide/suicide.
Anyway some sick asshole decided to publish his death pic.
What's even worse is that I'm gonna give you the link..
PIC HERE

Putz of the Month

noreply@blogger.com (Da Old Man) — Sun, 31 May 2009 20:29:00 +0000

I know, I know. This is late. Everyone has been waiting for the putz of the month, and I've been seriously slacking off, it seems.

But no, I haven't. The Putz of he Month was so damned obvious, I just waited and hoped some other celebritards would step up to the plate and do something Putz-worthy. But no, they have all been rather low key. Well, low key compared to the winner for May.

I mean, seriously, could it have been anyone except

Jon and Kate Gosselin

That right, we have our first tag team of Putzes.

Note the rarity in the picture above. Kate's mouth is shut, and Jon doesn't have the shamed, simpering look of a man who is totally emasculated.

Just in case you are one of the remaining 3 Americans who has no idea what is going on with these two knuckleheads (an aside--have you not seen, oh, any program on TV including the news, the 700 Club, Access Hollywood, Yankee baseball games, every talk show, 60 Mintes, Enzyte ads) basically, the following may or may not have taken place: Jon has gone on dates with some teacher but has not cheated on Kate, Jon has gone on dates with some teacher and cheated on Kate, Kate has dated her security guard, Kate has cheated on Jon, Kate has not cheated on Jon, Kate and Jon have seperated, Kate and Jon's marriage is stronger than ever, family members from both families won't shut the hell up, except for the ones who won't talk.

Do you get the picture yet? Is it starting to look like it was painted by Dali? Then you understand perfectly. And that is why Jon and Kate are the Putzes of the month for May.

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Celebs without makeup...

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Sun, 31 May 2009 14:11:00 +0000

Celebrities Without Makeup - Watch more Funny Videos

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Got Sunglasses?

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Wed, 13 May 2009 00:01:00 +0000

What's so fergalicious about these specs?

Fergie? Big girls do cry when they're wearing Star Trek sunglasses.

I'm sure WalMart will be selling these very soon when they introduce their new line of sunglasses sold only at WalMart: For Your Eyes Fergie Sunglasses. Retail value: $9.99 (the quintessential WalMart price, over 90% of their products are sold at this price).

Can't wait.

Ga Ga Gag Me!

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Wed, 06 May 2009 00:16:00 +0000

This is supposed to be haute couture?

I can't believe she wore fishnet stockings. Those are so yesterday. Didn't her manager tell how how badly they clash with the bubbles?

Oh yeah, I suppose I should mention something about those bubbles.

Is she Bubble Boy's girlfriend? Isn't he too old for her? Or he might be too young for her. Hmm. He was famous in the 90's thanks to Seinfeld. Or is she the new spokesperson for Hubba Bubba Bubble Gum?

What a waste of dish soap.

I've listened to some of her music and that gagged me too.

I hope she passes out free spoons at her concerts.

She gives new meaning to "gag me with a spoon."

Lady Ga-Gag Me!

I Need A Vacation!

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:20:00 +0000

This is the way wannabe celebrities take a vacation to Mejico!

Careful Heidi, you might get mask tan lines.

And...don't those masks come in something different other than plain ole' white? Maybe a floral pattern, art deco, or gang member design?

Please, we need designer face masks!

To Beyonce or Not to Beyonce?

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Sat, 25 Apr 2009 05:21:00 +0000

This brought me to tears.

This is pee your pants hilarious!

Papa Bear Beyonce came out defend his daughter and said the audio clip was a hoax.

Whatever.

I'm still crying.

Tears of joy and laughter.

Tears of laughter and joy.

In the words of Simon Cowell, "That was utterly dreadful."

Enjoy!

Paula Abdul, Clean and Sober

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 02:47:00 +0000

Paula Abdul claims she's never been drunk!

Of course Girlfriend, whatever you say!

*wink,wink*

“So let me just ask you the question straight up. Absolutely crystal clear you have not abused prescription drugs?” McFadden asked. “Never,” Abdul said.

*wink, wink*

“You have not consumed alcohol before going on the air?” McFadden pressed.

“Never. I’ve never been drunk in my life,” she told McFadden. “I don’t like it. It’s not my thing. Spending money on clothes and shoes, that’s another thing.”

*wink, wink*

You tell 'em Paula.

We believe you.

*wink, wink*

Celebrity Putz of the Month for April

noreply@blogger.com (Da Old Man) — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 18:58:00 +0000

I know everyone has been on the edge of their respective seats wondering who would be the "Putz of the Month."

And it was a tough contest. Madonna, who was shopping at the Malawi Mall for a new kid, and had her credit card declined or something, is always a competitor. Lindsey Lohan, with her dating site advertisement was a possibility, of course.

Hmm, how about Miley Cyrus, for oh so many reasons.

She was quite the Putzette when she threatened to ruin Radiohead because, Ohmygawd, they didn't want to meet her.

But no, the Putz of the Month Award goes to Billy Bob Thornton.

It seems Mr. Thornton, who had a long career as an actor, was highly offended when Jian Ghomeshi referred to Thornton's acting career during an interview when Billy Bob was in band member mode.

Putz of the Month is better than a Grammy

Billy Bob questioned whether Ghomeshi would ask these questions of Tom Petty.

Allow me to answer for Mr. Ghomeshi: "Well, Dumbass, no, because Tom Petty had no significant career in film. You aren't interesting because of your music, you garage band hack. Now STFU and thanks for stopping by."

Congrats, Billy Bob on your award as the Celebsux Putz of the Month for April.

You earned it.

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Pirates Are Pirates Too!

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 15:58:00 +0000

Those dang Somali Pirates!

They are giving pirates a bad name.

Not all pirates are bad.

I'd be happy to "help" Pirate Jack Sparrow.

Any. Time.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirates life for me!

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 00:48:00 +0000

Oh boys and girls!

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Profile from Lindsay Lohan

She's back on the saddle again.

She's an equal opportunity love mongerer.

And she wants to know, if YOU can handle a sassy red-headed ~~girl~~ woman.

If you breathe? She'll take you!

After sham wow..

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 05:47:00 +0000

A sham wow beat down !!

An Honest Mistake

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Sat, 11 Apr 2009 17:04:00 +0000

Woody Harrelson Mistakes Papparrazo for a Zombie

People! He made an honest-to-~~zombie~~-goodness mistake.

Give him a break. He was protecting his daughter from a zombie. How could he know that the zombie was not really a zombie, but a photographer. And I guess Mr. Harrelson thought the camera that he smashed to pieces? It was the zombie reaching out towards his daughter with its erratic, clumsy, flesh half-eaten off arm.

If you thought a zombie was reaching out to eat your child, wouldn't you have done the same thing?

Of course you would. We all would.

I'm just so glad that Mr. Harrelson is using his fame to spread the news.

The Zombie Apocalypse IS coming soon.

The Joker's On You!

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 08:00:00 +0000

Ay yi yi Jack!

You are rich. You can afford a personal trainer. You can afford a chef who prepares healthy low-fat food. Heck, you can even afford to join Nutri-System or Jenny Craig. Marie and Valerie found success and I'm guessing...you would too.

So since you must not care (even though you can more than afford to) howz about shelling out that money you should be spending on maintaining your physique to me, so I can hire my own personal chef for me and my family.

I hate cooking.

But I love eating.

And obviously, so do you!

I want to be on what he is on

saxtonjamie@hotmail.com (The Hussy Housewife) — Thu, 09 Apr 2009 18:48:00 +0000

Billy Bob Thornton's showed he was high as a kite on a Canadian radio show Wednesday morning. Billy Bob was interviewed by Jian Ghomeshi on the CBC Radio show Q.

He was there to promote his band, Boxmasters. They are saying that he was not high out of his mind, but that he got offended when the interviewer mentioned that he was an actor and screenwriter as well. I guess CBC had been "instructed" by Billy Bob to NOT mention him as a actor or a say anything about his acting career!

I say that is a nice cover up story. A way of saying he ain't drugged out of his mind on Ludes and Zanax. Thorton acted like a lunatic-brain dead stoner towards the host on every question he was asked.

What a baby.

Watch for yourself the train wreck. Pass the bottle and pills!

Can You See Me Butt Now?

quirkyloon@gmail.com (Quirkyloon) — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 15:24:00 +0000

"She wore an itsy bitsy teeny weeny orange skinny thong bikini!"

I don't know about you, ~~butt~~ but I suddenly feel a lot happier. So what if I don't fit into my skinny jeans right now?

Isn't it ironic Chris Brown? Don't you think?

saxtonjamie@hotmail.com (The Hussy Housewife) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:56:00 +0000

While R & B singer Chris Brown is free on $500,000 bail after being charged with two felonies for the his alleged Rhianna beat down..he has been busy. Busy on a "clean up my image" campaign. One stop he made on this campaign led to several ironic situations. The day in question, March 31st, came straight out of a Alanis Morrsett song.

Chris "Beat Down" Brown was participating in March Madness with the women of the University of Mary Washington basketball team. TMZ got some of the photos:

Brave girls, huh?

Here come the ironic's.

Isn't it ironic that University of Mary Washington school is currently in the middle of its "White Ribbon Campaign,"a week devoted to raising awareness about violence toward women?"

Hmmmm?

Here is Chris "Beat Down" Brown showing off his skills on the b-ball court:Look closely to spot the next "ironic" situation:
What? He decides to wear a "wife beater" t-shirt to play in?
Now isn't that ironic..don't you think?

Brittany the nose picker..

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Tue, 07 Apr 2009 06:31:00 +0000

Guess who ?

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 03:27:00 +0000

Gwyneth Paltrow retarted ?

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 02:26:00 +0000

Evidently this crazy bitch refuses to shampoo her kid's heads..
She claims that the shampoo gives kids cancer..
This of course is after her psychotic macrobiotic diet and horrid fear of environmental toxins..

Oh, did I mention she's a smoker ?
And she's worried about shampoo ..........?

Dancing with a Boner

saxtonjamie@hotmail.com (The Hussy Housewife) — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 20:22:00 +0000

Wow! Maybe I need to start watching Dancing with the Stars. I guess it is a real big turn on.

Mark Ballas sure was excited to dance with Shawn Johnson.

Porn on ABC!

At this point, Shawn Johnson's stalker is the least of her worries. She has a man with another deadly weapon pointed at her.

In his defense, maybe he has just woke up from a long nap..and he had morning wood. I am sure all the HARD work they put in to those dance routines..really make you tired.

So if you tune in..bring your tube socks..or baby wipes!
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Feel bad for me , I'm Angelina Jolie !!

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 17:40:00 +0000

Evidently, while on the set of Angelina's new film " Salt", she has been noted to not have been eating . Claiming that between her 6 kids and wannabe hubby Brad Pitt, she doesn't have time.

All I go to say is welcome to the real world you anorexic bitch....
Why is it these stupid fucking celebrities think that they're the only ones in the fucking world that work ?
Bitch, there's a jazillion working Moms out here. Most don't have the luxury of getting paid millions of dollars for 1 month's work.
No, most work every day for the rest of their lives !!

Catch a fucking clue, and suck it up. No need for the pity party, you asked for it remember ?

Why skinny people look older quicker ( with the exception of Botox of course )

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 03:58:00 +0000

Forget punishing exercise routines and restrictive diets, the key to looking young is having a healthy appetite.

Research shows that being thin is what ages us most, with plump cheeks and soft features making women appear younger.

So strong is the link that the loss of just 10lb in weight - around a dress size - can age a woman by some four years.

Experts said the U.S. study showed that dieting does not always have the desired effects on looks.

Rajiv Grover, secretary of the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons, said: 'It's not wrinkles and lines that make people look older, it's changes in the shape of the face.

'People have this thing about being thin. It perhaps gives them a slimmer body but they certainly age in the face more quickly.'

The US researchers made the link between weight and perceived age after studying 200 pairs of identical twins for two years.

Identical twins share all their genes and so any differences in their looks had to be explained by their lifestyle, rather than their DNA.

The body mass index of each twin was calculated by dividing their weight in kilograms by their height in metres squared.

The ideal BMI for an adult is between 18.5 and 25. A BMI of below 18.5 is classed as underweight, while above 25 is considered overweight and above 30 obese.

The study showed a clear link between BMI and the age the women were perceived to be.

Researcher Dr Bahaman Guyuron said: ''The twins were divided into groups based on a four-point BMI difference.

'A BMI higher by four points was found to result in a younger appearance of between two and four years in women over 40 years old.'

In some cases, this meant that a difference in weight of as little as 10lb added four years to a woman's appearance, the Plastic and Reconstructive Journal reports.

Mr Grover, a consultant plastic surgeon at King Edward VII Hospital in London, said that while most people will find their cheeks start to lose their plumpness from around the age of 38, extreme dieters have the most to worry about.

He said: 'People who are trying to stay stick thin lose weight from their face sooner than they would otherwise and those is extremely ageing.

Info stolen from Fiona Macrae.

Here are some before and afters.

Please note her gigantic head !!!

Posh Spice maybe getting it right ?

noreply@blogger.com (Dani Cally) — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 03:54:00 +0000

It might have taken this stupid bitch some time to get her shit straight or maybe just straightened for that matter, but take a look at her comfy attire.
Looking like a real mom now..ok , minus the $1,000. pair of jeans and the $200. pair of flip flops.
Take a peek at the before and afters..

Ooooo yummy breast flap thingy..