"Why's it taking this guy so long to write my name down, anyway?"

And for future reference, I actually prefer it "with just won 'N' in Orange."

Still, the important thing is that I know I'm your one and only.

Or...that.

Also, you should know that of all the variations my name is subjected to, the worst of them all, without a doubt, is "Iffer."

I said, "one F!!"

Jenn M., Lisa W., & Krista K.? You have been warned.

*****

P.S. Now that it's *almost* scarf weather in Florida let me show you my new favorite find:

The CVS Receipt Scarf

Y'all. It's soft, it goes with everything, and it's a giant CVS receipt. Talk about the best reveal when someone compliments your look!

That doesn't mean it's all fun and games, though. Sometimes we take naps.

In fact, I think I'll keep a diary for a day, just so you can see firsthand the "glorious life" of the "Professional Blogger." Enjoy!

------------------------------------------

1:00 pm - Woke up to cats hammering on door and yowling. Note to self: get thicker door. Also, new cats.

"Mrow?"

1:35 pm - Cats' yowls going super sonic. Ear plugs ineffective. Time for the Super Soaker.

"Mruh Mroh."

2:10 pm - Jen's awake. Cats are hiding. I ask in my best Kirk impression (complete with hand gestures), "JEN! Are... you... readytobe... funny? We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill!"

Jen:

Note to self: Avoid Kirk impressions before Jen's fully awake.

3:45 pm - Checked on Jen in the office. She has 27 browser tabs open and is humming "Loathing." So far, so good.

5:20 pm - Jen comes out of her office to reheat some "breakfast."

Pizza and Maalox: breakfast of champions.

7:20 pm - A yell from the office: "Oy! What're some puns for 'lactating?'"

7:32 pm - Final tally: Milking it, so cheesy, really sucks, staying abreast of the whole situation, whipped into a frenzy, creamy complexion, skim off the top, nipped a pair of area oreos

8:15 pm - Maniacal laughter coming from office.

8:21 pm - Loud sobs coming from office.

8:30 pm - Colorful swearing coming from office. Huh. Rapid mood swings may indicate low blood sugar. I bring Jen a cookie.

Effect is immediate. "Ohh, and also 'eat, drink, and be dairy!'"

10:45 pm - Heading to McDonald's for lunch.

Thank goodness we're not food bloggers. (Oh. Wait...)

12:20 am- Break time. Watching Castle with Jen.

*snorfle*

2:15 am- Jen heads back to the office. I'm off to bed.

(This was supposed to say "Just because." Seriously.)

3:35 am - Woken by a loud yell. Rushed out to find Jen staring horror-struck at a new e-mail:

"Why? WHY?!?"

4:04 am - Convinced Jen to come to bed. She lies in the dark, muttering, "Can't sleep. Lobster in blond wig will eat me."

I think it's going to be another long night.

Thanks to Lyle, James, Alistair, Carissa, Amanda M., Helen W., Elizabeth M., Kristin S., Eilen, Tyler O., Dana S., & Beatrice Y., for helping us avoid "real" jobs. Now: nap time!

I know, Halloween was technically yesterday, but we can still glam it up with spooky sweet wedding cakes! Like this gorgeous Gothic number:

[By ArchiCAKEture in Bulgaria]

Look closely; two of those "rubies" are really a vampire love bite!

Or, if you prefer a partner who keeps you in stitches:

(By Cakes By Summer in Texas)

Loving that black-and-white gradient with the little red hearts. So classic and monstrously sweet.

I don't think this next one's a wedding cake, but wouldn't it be cool if it were?

(By Sweet Art Cakes in California)

After all nothing says "welcome home, newlyweds" like a happy little haunted house.

Or should I say, "Haunted Mansion?"

(By Jam Cakes in the UK)

Yep, I spy the iconic HM wallpaper in there! Great skull cameos on the swags, too, though I can't help wishing the toppers were the Bride & Groom from the ride.

Aha, but here comes the next best thing: skeletal Marie Antoinette style bride!

[By Monika Arispe in the UK]

And I think she may be floating?! Awwwwesome.

Another non-wedding cake that COULD be a wedding cake if the couple is stylin' enough:

(By Karen Dodenbier, hobby baker in the Netherlands)

Poppies! Aww, I love poppies. And look at the spiderwebs!

This lovely is from a Maleficent themed wedding shoot:

(By Sweet Tooth Confections in CA, featured here)

That dark forest vibe is gorgeous!

Here come a couple of love birds:

(By Zoe Byres in Australia)

And they're nestled inside a carved tree trunk of cake!
Such a clever design, it's like a cake shadowbox.

I'll admit it would take a very unique and/or brave bride to choose a Black Widow spider cake for her wedding cake, but HEAR ME OUT:

(By Carolinchens Zuckerwelt in Germany)

See? That could be the groom on the side! :D :D :D

Or you could go with something dark and dreamy:

(By Sweet And Swanky Cakes in Oregon)

I love the reflective gold accents - and that lace! Wowza.

And finally, a half-floating Gothic tower that manages to look surreal and romantic all at the same time:

(By Kek Couture in Turkey)

Jaw: dropped. The more I look, the more I see to love: the hidden damask pattern, the velvety green ombre, and that intricate lace-wrapped base. AHHH-mazing, and the perfect wedding cake for any modern Morticia and Gomez. ;)

I hope you guys enjoyed! Have a sweet Sunday!

An entire post of Halloween puns!

That's right, my friends. Brace yourself... for the pain.

***

What do you call trendy ghost detectives?

"In" specters.

Why did the coven mess up the words to their potion?

They couldn't tell which witch was spelling which.

What do you call pink ghosts?

Fa-BOO-lous!

Why did the skeleton go to a BBQ restaurant?

For the spare ribs.

What do you get when you cross a werewolf with an eagle?

A real birdbrain who's all bark and no flight.

And now, your moment of Jen:

Despite everyone's efforts, nothing could lift Stanley's spirit.

He drifted through the day, a mere ghost of his former self.

Thanks to Anony M., Laury S., Sarah Beth, Joy S., Janice C., Lynn M., & Andrea T., who would like to point out that the ghost clan is not amused:

"We're watching you. Aaaaaalways waaaatching."

Plus rampant rodent droppings?

Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement, attic, or bakery?

"You guys, I have a feeling there's something really creepy below us..."

"SEE?!"

Have you or any of your family ever seen a spook, specter, or super sarcastic ghost?

"Like, boo, or whatever."

How about an entire tray of cupcakes giving you the finger?

If the answer is yes then don't wait another minute! Pick up the phone and call the prefessionals.

WRECKBUSTERS.

Our courteous and efficient staff is on call 24 hours a day to serve ALL your supernatural elimination needs.

"So let me get this straight: You're saying the ghost of your filet mignon just pooped on your couch?

"I call bullsh*t."

WRECKBUSTERS.

We're ready to relieve you!

"Ok, who brought the dog?"

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!

Hey E.L., Marsha M., Rose B., Grace K., Jessica B., Kayla F., Scott D., & Dustin S., listen! Do you smell something?

*****

P.S. Now that it's *almost* scarf weather in Florida let me show you my new favorite find:

The CVS Receipt Scarf

Y'all. It's soft, it goes with everything, and it's a giant CVS receipt. Talk about the best reveal when someone compliments your look!

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

As Illustrated With Halloween Cake Wrecks

Stage 1:

"AWWWWW lookit the cute costumes on all the cute bebies! CANDY FOR EVERYONE."

Stage 2:

"Wow there are a lot of you."

Stage 3:

"A 5-year-old Deadpool just kicked me but this is fine, everything's fine."

Stage 4:

"WHAT IF WE RUN OUT OF CANDY?"

Stage 5:

"You get two pieces each AND THAT'S FINAL."

Stage 6:

"This is my life now."

Stage 7:

::obsessively looking between the clock and the candy bowl::

Stage 8:

"I AM SO SORRY PLEASE DON'T TP MY HOUSE."

Stage 9:

"They TP'd my house."

Stage 10:

::cracks open secret stash of chocolate and plops down to watch Ghostbusters::

BEST. HALLOWEEN. EVER.

Thanks to Anne H., Deon M., Meg M., Jessica A., Kaitlin K., Mariah E., Hillary, M.M., Savannah G., & Tara W. for the wrecky treats. Oh, and I've never actually had my house TP'd; my generous candy distribution is both fear-based and extremely effective. :D

*****

P.S. Friendly reminder:

Punctuation Saves Lives

:D

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

...and your baker claims she can make a cupcake cake (patooie!) look just like it, DO NOT BELIEVE HER.

On the plus side, I hear hippo skin rugs are all the rage now in child therapy sessions.

 ***

They asked for a book cake of The Great Gatsby:

NAILED IT.

 ***

You know, when *I* was a kid they didn't have all these new-fangled flavored fillings:

***

"Ok, ma'am, your cake has room for three lines of text."

"Great! I'd like 'Mazel Tov' on the first line, and 'Sara Rose' on the second."

"And for the third line?"

"Oh, just leave that blank."

***

Apparently Jennifer K's husband never gets her anything for their anniversary, so for the big 10 she got him a cake. That said this:

I really shouldn't be finding this so funny, should I?

 ***

"Hey, guys, is 'give up' all one word?

Is there a dash?

How do you spell it, again?

Is this right?

How about now?

OH FORGET IT."

Mmmm, sweet irony.

Thanks to Disireah, Tonianne, Allie P., Deena M., & Anony M. for reminding us to never give up, NEVER SURRENDER.

*****

P.S. Now that it's *almost* scarf weather in Florida let me show you my new favorite find:

The CVS Receipt Scarf

Y'all. It's soft, it goes with everything, and it's a giant CVS receipt. Talk about the best reveal when someone compliments your look!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Erin K. wanted her daughter's cake to be oriented vertically, or portrait-style, but the baker wasn't getting it.

"You know, the long way?"

*headdesk*

When you want a big 75, NOT a "big 75."

Can I quote you on that?

In fact, a lot of butchered instructions end up as new nick names:

Give up?

They wanted "thank you" written in pink.

And this one didn't want any gel icing:

Here's a blast from the past: a Historical Society hosted a "President's Tea."

Thank goodness they weren't screening old 80s TV shows there, too!

Can you imagine if it'd been the "President's Tea & A-Team Party?"

Now imagine, if you will, the ordering process that resulted in this cake:

I'm picturing a Monty Python sketch, myself.

"No, I want you to STAY HERE, and write the names underneath!"

"So I'm to write these names twice and capitalize 'Underneath.' Got it."

"No, no, it's quite simple. Write 'Happy Birthday' once, and the names underneath."

"If, if, uh... If, if, uh... Oh! Can I write the names three times... IF I use extra sprinkles?"

"AAAAAAUUGH!"

Thanks to Terry M., Erin K., Dan E., Stephanie D., Melanie K., Karen A., & Damon E. - AND NO SINGING!

*****

P.S. Speaking of things that make your head hurt, a friend recently got me this gel cap for my migraines, and sweet icy Stay Puft, y'all, it's amazing:

Migraine Hot/Cold Gel Cap

I have a huge head and a lot of hair, so it's pretty snug on me, but the extra pressure with the cold is heavenly during a migraine. I used to hold a cold pack and keep shifting it around from side to side, but this wraps my entire skull in a cooling hug. Ahhhh so good.

I keep the gel cap sealed in the fridge all the time now, so I can grab it as soon as a headache starts up. The cold only lasts 15-20 minutes, but it's 1000% worth it in my book, highly recommend.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

I like to split my favorite spooky sweets into two categories: cute and creepy. And this week we are all about the cute:

(By Meng Jo Fong in Malaysia)

Who knew a stitched together monster could have such adorable widdle ears?

This roly-poly bat has a glitter bow tie:

[By Whipped Bakeshop in Pennsylvania]

And the teeny wings! Ack!

Some lucky one-year-old got the world's most stylin' pumpkin cake:

(By Jenny's Haute Cakes in Colorado)

The smaller pumpkin is the smash cake, but c'mon. How do you let anyone smash that?

This mechanical witch's hat has stolen my steampunk-loving heart:

(By Roses & Bows Cakery in Ireland)

Change the hat a little, and it would work for Christmas, too!

Another adorable bat, because you can never have too many:

(Baker unknown)

I'm pretty sure she wants a hug.

And now a boiling and bubbling surprise:

(By Sugar & Spice Cakes in New Zealand)

This cauldron cake has a space inside for dry ice! SO COOL. (Pun intended.)

Anyone else like blending their holidays together a little? Because I want to hug this adorable gingerbread witch:

(By Cake Central user Nadia38)

She looks like a soft plush doll! Someone needs to go pinch her cheek to make sure she's cake.

Loving the non-traditional colors on this one:

(By Cakes Decor user Katka in Slovakia)

We need more teals and reds in our Halloween decorations, gang. And also black-cat-in-pumpkin cake toppers.

Ahhh, but you know what's even better than a black cat topper?

(By My Cake School, online only)

THREE BLACK CAT TOPPERS!

("Three! Three cat toppers! Ah! Ah! Ah!")

And finally, feast your eyes on this most delightfully dapper steampunk Jack O' Lantern:

(By The Violet Cake Shop in Ontario)

Actually, looking at that collar, maybe he's the Headless Horseman? Whichever, I LOVE HIM. So many gorgeous details, from the damask cake board to his tiny key nose! So, so gorgeous.

I hope you guys enjoyed! And be sure to check back next Sunday for my favorite creepy gothic beauties - including some fabulous Halloween wedding cakes!

*****

P.S. Here's a fun gift for the kids in your life this spooky season:

Little Blue Truck's Halloween Board Book

It's interactive with lift-the-flap surprises, has over 10,000 5-star ratings, and is on sale this week for $6 Prime!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

BEGIN.

"You know, most of that is technically edible."

(It's the ones that are true that are the most terrifying.)

"What misspellings?"

"Everyone can relax, I fixed it!"

"That'll be $65.99."

And perhaps the most frightening thing of all to hear from a baker:

"Hey, can I borrow your shoe?"

(Yes it's a real shoe. Because of course it is.)

Thanks to Michelle L., Susan G., Alyssa M., & Anony M. for putting her friend's best foot forward.

*****

P.S. In case that wasn't painful enough:

Exceptionally Bad Dad Jokes

There are a lot of "dad joke" books out there, but this one has awesome ratings AND the word "spiffing" on the cover, so it's a clear winner.

******

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Sarcasm Awareness Month!

How does that make you feel?

Ladies and gentlemen, sarcasm!

And that brings us to our first lesson: lack of punctuation.

You may remember one of the classic sarcastic cakes from way back:

The sarcastically inept might think this is praising Bob when, in fact, it's telling Bob to go suck an egg.

Let's try some more:
What are these cakes really saying?

This means the best probably happened a while ago, and you missed it.

This means you did something stupid - and everyone saw.

And this means nobody here cares about the specifics of your situation, so go away so we can eat some cake already. 

There you have it! I do hope we've made you more aware of sarcasm.

Because that would make us:

No, really.

See what I did there?

Thanks to Mariya N., Sarah C., Donna H., Kim B., Brad C. & Julia K. for being the brightest rays of sunshine yet, only in a really really good way. Honest.

*****

P.S. Here's a fun gift for the kids in your life this spooky season:

Little Blue Truck's Halloween Board Book

It's interactive with lift-the-flap surprises, has over 10,000 5-star ratings, and is on sale this week for $6 Prime!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

And then the witch baker, he told me what to do

He told me..

Ting! Tang!

WALLA WALLA BING BANG.

Ting...

...Tang?

Walla Walla Bing Bang!

Thanks to Misty B., Jenny W., Kayleigh S., Anony M., Susie M., Denis S., Carmen N., Bonny B., Dora M., & Mary W. for that pregnant pause.

*****

P.S. It's time again for me to sing the praises of my amazing sleep headphones:

Bluetooth Sleep Headphones

I listen to boring audio books on these every night to keep my brain from spinning out of control, which works wonders for my insomnia. These things have been a life saver: comfy enough for side sleeping, not too loud like some of my old speakers, doubles as an eye mask to block the light, and they only cost $13 Prime.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

(PS - Oh! Hey! Think this is Isabella?)

 *****

Ariel's company wanted their vision statement written on a cake, but made the rookie mistake of e-mailing a cellphone photo of their office wall plaque as a reference. [shaking head] Tsk tsk, guys.
TSK TSK.

The result was predictable, but their vision statement makes it delightfully ironic:

Now if only we could empower technology to transform wreckerators.

 *****

One question, oh-so-many answers:

Let's... START... withhow... MUCH... I hear William Shatner... RIGHTNOW.

 *****

And finally, that awkward moment when you can't tell if the cake is for a baby shower or a bachelorette party:

For the record: I still don't know.

Thanks to Claudia R., Ariel D., Aubrae W., & Amanda F., who aren't happy to see me, but DO have bowling balls in their pants.

*****

P.S. Here's a fun gift for the kids in your life this spooky season:

Little Blue Truck's Halloween Board Book
It's interactive with lift-the-flap surprises, has over 10,000 5-star ratings, and is on sale this week for $6 Prime!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

These are the continuing ravages of the Bakeshop Wrecksurprise.

Cakeman's Log: The shop is back to normal now, after a mysterious ailment afflicted my crew.

It started when we were accidentally exposed to corigrAtUIAt ions.

Maybe the big sign should have tipped us off.

Anyway, we didn't realize the danger until our handwriting started to devolve.

I mean, what do you call this?!

"It's red, Tim."

"That was a rhetorical question, Leonard."

"Oh. Sorry, boss."

I thought the crew just needed time to warm up, but the more cake I gave them, the more the handwriting problem seemed to multiply.

Spatial skills also began to deteriorate:

Pretty soon, this was the best we could do:

(Tilting your head doesn't help. I tried.)

Suddenly, I remembered the corigrAtUIAt ions!

It. Was right. THERE. In. Front of our. EYES!

I ordered the crew to our decontamination facilities.

The loy quickly neutralized all the corigrAtUIAt - and even better, gave me an excuse to rip off my uniform.

(Hellooooo, ladies!)

The crisis averted, I'm happy to report the crew is back to our normal standards.

"How's this, Boss?"

"Perfect. And I LOVE your new red shirt."

Official commendations to Jill P., Beth F., Carrie B., Break'er Bikes, Carrisa, Shelby P., Laura A., and Alicia S. for doing the yeoman's work of finding these cakes. You made us positively beam by sharing these examples of IDIC (Infinite Diversity in Imperfect Cakes.)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Just look at this adorable Doc McStuffins cake:

[By Valentina Pollicino in Italy]

Squee!

When I Googled the most popular kids' shows of 2018, I was amazed to see Pokémon still on the list. Good thing, though, since that means I get to show you this jaw-dropping Pikachu:

[By Le Delizie di Kicca in Italy]

The shading makes it look more like a ceramic sculpture than a cake! Also loving all the lightning bolts.

Oh hey, here's a show I've actually watched before: Miraculous: Tales of Lady Bug & Cat Noir

[By Soraia Amorim Sugar Artist in Portugal]

So impressed with the mix of 2D and 3D - plus that little ladybug & cat are adorable.

Judging by the amount of incredible Paw Patrol cakes out there, it must be a HIT with the little ones:

[By Medena Radionica in Serbia]

I like the little tower!

And speaking of popular shows, obviously My Little Pony is huuuuuge. John and I are even fans. I could do a whole post of great MLP cakes, but instead here's one of the cutest Pinkie Pie cakes I've ever seen:

[By Cakes By Ashley in Texas]

My favorite is how the flowers look like they're made of rolled-up balloon. I could totally see Pinkie making those with her stash of party balloons. :)

Here come another show I've been a fan of since the original: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

[Baker Unknown. Anyone recognize it?]

Look how fun this is, with the pizza base and that river of toxic sludge out the side! I would have loved this cake back in middle school... or heck, even today. (The reboot is awesome, I've got to catch up on it someday.)

I've seen a lot of people cosplay from this next one: Star vs The Forces of Evil

[By Andrea Bertini in Argentina]

The premise sounds hilarious in the best way, any of you watch it? I think I need to check it out.

One of my good friends has 3 young kids, and they are alllll about LEGO: Ninjago

[By Sweet Obsessions in Malaysia]

Even the figures are sugar! Wowza.

Speaking of my friend's kids, John and I got to theme her daughter's room after Elena of Avalor, so I've had a soft spot for that character ever since:

[Baker Unknown. Anyone recognize it?]

I love Elena's red-and-teal color scheme with all the bright flowers - so pretty, I want to wear them in my hair!

Years ago a reader e-mailed to tell me about this show her kids were watching: it was adorable and kind of steampunk-styled, so she thought of me. The show was called Octonauts, and now that I see this cake I want figurines of all the characters:

[By Amanda's Little Cake Boutique (new name) in the UK]

SO CUTE. Love all the soft pastels - and that submarine looks like a toy you could pick up and play with, not sculpted sugar! Amazing.

Happy Sunday, everyone! I think I'll go watch some cartoons now. :)

*****

P.S. Need a sweet gift for the person who has everything? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet:

Fresh Cut Pop-Up Bouquet, "Pumpkin Harvest"

I've been raving about Fresh Cut Paper for a while now, and they just added two new Fall designs: this "Pumpkin Harvest" bouquet:

...and a pop-up wreath!? Ohhh, this is cool:

When I send my grandmother cards she likes to tack them up up on her wall, so I just sent her this one, which is meant to hang up, and doubles as pretty Fall decor. There are more styles, too, so go see all the Fresh Cut Paper designs here.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

Her bakery ran out of the printed paper, though, and then I guess also people who know how to decorate cakes:

Yowch. And I don't think that candle placement is helping any, Jessie. Do you have any large house plants instead? Maybe a piñata or two?

Shannon ordered a Minecraft sheet cake, which usually looks something like this:

Instead, she got what appears to be an Oscar-the-Grouch skin carpet on a dirty tile floor:

Double "yowch."

And finally, Jay ordered a true classic: a Mickey Mouse cake like this:

Somehow I think Jay's baker heard "Bozo the Clown," though:

...because THIS IS UNCANNY:

Thanks to Jessie W., Shannon M., & Jay F. for that case of "mouse-taken" identity.

(Yes that pun was tortured and I'm not even sorry.)

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

AAAEEIII!!

Er. Heh, sorry. Let's try that again.

Voila!

That's...not a cake.

[rolling up sleeves] Voila!

Is that...plastic?

Cheater.

Voila!

A Pumpkin Poo-nicorn. Well. That's a first.

[through gritted teeth] Voi-la.

What the...what IS that? Come on, seriously, there's no way you could make this thing look less like a pumpkin!

Allow me to retract that last statement.

Knock, knock.

Well? Orange you glad I didn't say "voila?"

Hm. Maybe the problem lies in trying to make the whole cake look like a pumpkin. Maybe if the baker just drew a pumpkin ON the cake...

[blinking]

Um...

[more blinking]

Voila!

Dorota, Carra M., Melody N., Shanna T., Andrew M., Ted, Donny & Amanda, Kaitlin K., & T.A., don't ask me; I'm going with "abstract jack-o-lantern."

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

AND I DID.

Meaning 11 real live strangers on the internet watched an instant replay of my character walking into a wall and spinning in circles to the sound of a triumphant victory fanfare, all with my user name emblazoned onscreen in giant glowing letters.

John actually got light-headed, he laughed so hard. I had to remind him to breathe.

My point here, of course, is that brainless moments of personal embarrassment should always be witnessed - nay, celebrated - by strangers on the internet.

OH HEY LOOK:

And my personal favorite:

[plays Triumphant Victory Fanfare]

Thanks to Katherine V., Carolyn H., Mindy V., Stacy M., & Alicia F. for making me feel much better about my video game skills. And yes, to my fellow gamers looking for confirmation: it *was* Overwatch. TOR MAIN FOREVAHHHHH.

*****

P.S. Need a cool gift for the person who has everything? Then how about a card that transforms into a bouquet:

Fresh Cut Pop-Up Bouquet, "Pumpkin Harvest"

I've been raving about Fresh Cut Paper for a while now, and they just added two new Fall designs: this "Pumpkin Harvest" bouquet:

...and a pop-up wreath!? Ohhh, this is cool:

When I send my grandmother cards she likes to tack them up up on her wall, so I just sent her this one, which is meant to hang up, and doubles as pretty Fall decor. There are more styles, too, so go see all the Fresh Cut Paper designs here.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

And more importantly, can Jen find an excuse to post some of the rad vintage birthday cakes you guys have been sending in?

Let's find out, with...

EPIC CAKE BATTLES OF HISTORY!!

THEN:

I pity the fool who doesn't recognize Hulk Hogan & Mr. T.

VS

NOW:

THEN:

VS

NOW:

THEN:

VS

NOW:

"I stopped listening after 'cabbage'."
(Yup, it's cake. Cabbagey, cabbagey cake.)

THEN:

VS

NOW:

THEN:

VS

NOW:

Who WON? Who LOST?
YOU decide!!

And keep sending in those vintage birthday cakes, because seriously, these things are amazing.

Thanks to Robert T., Elizabeth B., Jason R., Tiki C., Jason R., Kristi C., Lindsay S., Karen H., Susan M., & Brittany J. - and a hat tip to Epic Rap Battles of History for all the lolz.

*****

P.S. Here's a fun gift for the kids in your life this spooky season:

Little Blue Truck's Halloween Board Book

It's interactive with lift-the-flap surprises and has over 10,000 5-star ratings!

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot:

See?

However.

Like all fun new lingo we youngin's use [WHAT I'M YOUNG], this may confuse some of the less hip, less "with it," less "I have a Tumblr account and I know how to use it" crowd.

So just to be clear, bakers, "spoopy" is something you SAY, not something you try to illustrate:

o.0

And you thought having a birthday near a major holiday was crappy.

BONUS SPOOPAGE!

To the utter shock of absolutely no one, it turns out I have TWO spoopy birthday ghosts. This one is cuter, but more confusing

I mean, why is the ghost spitting out poopy Junior Mints?

Or wait... WAIT.

Are those... Peppermint Patties?

I can't wait to reblog this on Tumblr once I get an account and figure out how to use it.

Thanks to Regina S., Brian M., & Amy S. for the minty fresh spoop.

*****

And from my other blog, Epbot: