God has called my family and myself to a Children and Family ministry position in Florida from Kansas City. This month’s CMMonthly is my farewell sermon delivered in just under 10 minutes. Ten things I learned from 10 years of ministry at Sheffield.

I have been at Sheffield Family Life Center in Kansas City, Missouri for the past 10 years. Two of those were as an intern, but the past 8 years I have been involved in full time ministry for youth and children.

November 8th, 2009 will mark my last Sunday at Sheffield. I have taken a position at a church in St. Petersburg, Florida.

Why the move? Family mostly. Jenn and I have felt a ‘stirring’ for a while now. I’ve even told folks I felt like a major life change was coming… but didn’t have a clue what it would be. Jenn and I finally decided to sit town and ask God what the deal was. We started with putting together a 5 year plan for our family. I asked Jennifer where she saw us in 5 years… the first thing out of her mouth was, “I want to raise our children around family”.

I guess I had known that she had a leaning toward her folks. There had been quite a bit of travel back and forth since the kids had shown up. But this was the first time she’d just laid it out.

We prayed about it, wrote out our list, and told God that though we were making plans, it was His that we truly wanted. God rarely speaks to me directly… so we committed to two things:

We’re Moving Slow – We gave God plenty of time to let us know if we were moving the right direction. We literally prayed, “God we ask for brick walls if we’re moving the wrong way… but we look forward to mile markers of conformation if we’re headed the right way.”

We’re not going to make any decisions that we’re not willing to unmake in an instant – Though we make our own plans… we do not put our trust in our own decisions. At any point in this journey that God leads differently, we’re ready to change direction in a moment.

There were a couple of brick walls. They typically hurt when you hit them… but if you’re moving slow… not so much. Eventually after every networking resource I had in Georgia, North Carolina and Florida dried up… I got an email from a Pastor in St. Petersburg. We talked, really hit it off and the next thing I knew I was in Florida for two days of interviews.

Long story short… we’re packing up the house and moving to Florida for the next chapter of our life. The job is everything I’ve wanted. The location is everything Jenn wanted. It’s a wonderful gift from God.

Though it’s a little heartbreaking to leave the kids and folks at Sheffield, I know that they are in God’s loving hands… and that He will send someone along to replace me that will be so great that they’ll make me look like dirty dish water by comparison.

So, reader. Have you ever changed churches? Do you have any tips? Post them, or any other thoughts, in the comments.

They say the average youth or children’s minister stays in a position about three years. Leaving a ministry position is apparently a common part of our ministry lives. Though I never planned on joining the statistic… my family and I have accepted a position at a church in St. Petersburg, Florida and will be moving from Kansas City in two weeks.

My wife and I have felt for about a year that we’ve been waiting for something but we didn’t know what. Apparently God was preparing our hearts for a transition. Though we weren’t planning to go anywhere, we committed ourselves to prayer and found that God had released us and was calling us elsewhere. I’m pleased to say that we’re leaving on great terms… no drama to report. Our primary reason for the move is to be closer to family. This has become very important to us since we’ve had children.

Once a few years ago, I was going through a pretty dark time in my life. No moral failure or anything like that… I was just “going through” as they say. I was feeling as if I wanted to be done with ministry… that I wanted to leave… to get away from the pressure. I talked to a mentor of mine and he gave me some sound advice that I wanted to share in this context. He asked me to recall when God called me to my current position. I was instantly able to remember that moment. He said, “When it’s time to go, He’ll release you the same way. He called you here… he’ll call you away.” His words really clarified things for me. I realized that leaving wasn’t my choice to make. I remained faithful… and God was good.

So when is it time to leave? When God says. It makes all the difference. On those bad days in ministry sometimes the Call is the only thing that keeps you hanging in there. Knowing that in spite of all of our shortcomings and flaws, that you know that you know that God put you where you are can give us the strength we need to hold on. I’m finding that I need that same assurance as I transition between seasons in ministry. Thank God I have it. I know my future is secure, in spite of all of the unknowns, because we’re following the path that has been laid out for us by our Heavenly Father.

Those of you who may be struggling where you are… I would urge you to remember that moment God called you to be where you are. If you want to leave, ask… but wait for that call to go before you throw in the towel. God still had a lot of work to do on me that would have not been possible if I had left before. If he doesn’t release you it’s because he has unfinished work to do in your life and the lives you minister to. Trust that.

Most of us write up and use pretty basic rules for Children’s Church: Don’t talk, keep your hands to your self, participate, limit bathroom use, blah, blah blah. I’m finding that those just aren’t cutting it these days. There are so many issues that the basic rules just don’t cover. I suggest we add the following to our policies and procedures manuals immediately!

Rules I Wish I Could Use:

For Kids

• You shall not turn your Sunday School papers into airplanes or roll them into weapons.
• If we have drums, you are not allowed to play them. Ever. If you do we will cancel your next birthday.
• Do not groan after my movie video clip illustration is over.
• The answer to every question I ask is not “God”.
• Please thank your parents on our behalf for buying you a cell phone… right after you tell them you lost it.
• Knock, knock jokes are banned for life.
• Understand this: Even though I don’t have your birthday and age memorized… I still love you!
• Please tell your friends we have bibles and coats here at the church… free gifts from all of you who have left yours here.
• Nobody stole your socks.
• Please stay completely still and quiet during worship but move around and talk as much as you want during the sermon.
• Prayer requests are not a chance to tell a story.
• If your grandmother is dead… there’s really no reason to pray for her… again.
• Offering goes in the plate… not in the coke machine after service.
• Please explain to we leaders how you fit all that stuff in that tiny pink purse.
• Keep your dangum shoes on girls!

For Parents

• Parent’s are required to get angry when they arrive late for check-in. We’re only open for an hour after all… only 30 minutes shorter than the service itself… I’d be angry too!
• Parent’s must pick up their children within 15 minutes of the end of service. Those who don’t will have their children given to someone who will raise them properly.
• Deadlines apply to everyone… except you. You’re special.
• Please don’t act like you’re doing us a favor my dropping off your child. It’s not a problem for me… but some of these folks feel a little under appreciated when you act that way.
• By all means, fill up a van full of kids, bring them to church and then refuse to volunteer!
• Offering goes up one dollar for every minute you are late to church.
• Those papers we send home… they’re useful… and not just as replacement floor mats in the minivan.
• I know your kid is perfect… like you… but we still need him to stop stabbing others.
• Thanks for your donation… but the homeless don’t like cans of pepper hulls either.

For Volunteers

• If you’ve been sick since Wednesday, please wait to call in till Saturday night or (even better) Sunday morning just before service. For a bonus, do it via facebook!
• Children’s Ministry is probably not the best place to work off your community service hours.
• You can pass a background check… but if you smell funny, I’m not going to approve you to work with kids. It’s called mercy.
• Volunteers who call in sick for the Super Bowl will have the kids from their abandoned class delivered to their home in time for the game.
• Yes, random church member with an agenda, I’d love to create a class wrapped around your goat farm.
• Please hold all important, drama-filled conversations until right before service starts. Preferably while I’m trying to get PowerPoint to work.
• All scary looking relatives of yours are automatically cleared to sit through kids church. Since you asked me with them standing right there so I couldn’t say no. I’ll be sure to send a couple of mine over to watch you sleep tonight in return.
• If you’re going to read right out of the curriculum, at least hold the book right-side up.

Do you have any of your own rules we should add? Put them in the comments!

Over the last ten years I’ve been in full-time ministry, most of that in children’s ministry, I’ve found myself repeating a few phrases over and over. The title of this post is one of them: “Don’t make permanent changes for temporary situations”.

Though I’ve never had a paid ministry assistant, over the years I have had several volunteer folks who have helped to fill that role. Almost without exception, in the first few months, they would come to me with a situation and a solution… and I would find myself repeating that same phrase. Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about, then I’ll explain why it’s not a good idea.

John was one of my newer volunteers but he was a natural and due to his willingness and availability had become someone I relied on quite a bit. After a few months I had placed him as coordinator over our Sunday evening program for elementary. He came to me one night with a situation… our attendance had dropped over the last two weeks. He proposed that we move the entire program to a different set of rooms that were smaller. What he didn’t know or realize was that every year around this time we had the same dip in attendance but always picked back up. He also didn’t know that if we gave up our rooms, other ministries would be glad to make use of them and we’d never get them back. He wanted to fix a temporary situation with a permanent solution.

Here are the hoops my situations have to jump through before I consider a permanent solution:

1. Is it consistent?

Before I make a new policy or a major change I want to make sure it’s not an isolated incident. I’m not going to make a new policy because one child was left late after a program… but if a month of Sunday’s goes by and I’ve got three or four families consistently abusing our workers by picking up super late… I’m going to write up a policy.

2. Is there history I’m not aware of?

For any situation you come across… someone in your church has seen it before and has dealt with it. Typically the Pastor or another staff member who has been there longer knows something you don’t. In my situation with John, he didn’t know how many years we had worked to outgrow the other set of rooms… I wasn’t about go backwards just because of an annual dip in attendance!

3. Am I Acting or Reacting?

Some situations seem bigger than they really are. We all get sick children in our ministries from time to time… but with swine flu running amok, we’re tempted to go nuts and treat every kid with a sniffle like they’ve got the plague. I always want to be sure that I’m not just reacting to the high-pressure of a temporary situation. In the heat of the moment, especially when dramatic people are involved, it can be tempting to start churning out changes and new policies until the storm passes. Making choices based on fear, feelings and self-protection is never a good idea. Sure, you solve the immediate issues, but later you have to deal with the consequences of choices made in haste. Does the situation warrant a huge change? Usually your common sense will serve you better than a policy. Urge your volunteers to look at the big picture. Keep existing policies and procedures in mind and use common sense.

We can easily get drama-happy… where we want to make big deals out of simple issues so that we can feel like we’re doing something important. Drama is not ministry. Ministry is what we do after the drama is quickly and graciously dealt with.

There are differing opinions on the level of excitement and fun that should be used in children’s church. Some would say that it should be filled with video clips, sound effects, games, object lessons and fun. Others would fight against such things by proposing we train children to be able to handle big church by giving them their own version of an adult-like service.

I find myself falling into a different category if you can call it a category at all. I think each church has to decide for itself what atmosphere it provides based on the requirements of their congregation. Even then I don’t believe that you can set the bar and walk away. My own services have changed over the years, going from one extreme at times to the other, based on what my kids needed at the time. Sometimes even within the same service.

I have an unwritten rule that I use to gauge the amount of ‘fun’ I use in my services. I often share this with my kids as a way to improve their behavior if we’re having a ‘full moon’ Sunday. Every week we make a deal:

If you promise to learn, I promise to make it fun.

There are times when fun makes the learning go smoothly. There are other times I have to rein it in in order to get my point across. I find that I have to keep part of my mind on the message… and the other part out there in the crowd. If the one part isn’t receiving what the other part is sending, it’s time to change things up. Right there… on the fly.

Sometimes fun works. Sometimes fun looks serious, like a secret club meeting in the back yard. Sometimes it’s not about fun at all… but about interest in the topic. Mostly it’s about where your kids are and what they need. Here’s the other guideline I heard somewhere:

A child’s experience with the content is as important as the content.

If you can’t get it in their heads somehow, it doesn’t really matter how good of a point your making. I refuse to slot my children’s church into a ‘fun’ or ‘church-like’ category because doing so would limit the methods I need to use to get the Word out. My hope would be that other Children’s Ministers would keep their options open as well. It doesn’t always have to be a playground… or a funeral.

Due to my schedule this week, I’m not on my usual (nearly) daily blogging schedule… but I wanted to just share a little of what I’m experiencing from God right now. My hope is that it will lift you up.

I really feel like God loves me right now.

I always know he does… but we live in a world that makes that fact a little less than obvious sometimes. Knowing God loves me has carried me through a lot of rough times. Trusting and believing that He has my best in mind… that He’s out there watching over me… that He will never leave or forget about me… those things keep me going on and standing as strong as I can. But that being said, it’s nice to have the feeling once in a while too.

I’ve never been very touchy-feely with God. My childhood taught me that you can’t trust your feelings. So I trusted in hard facts about God. That was safe… ultimately I suppose they took less faith to believe in as well, but I digress. I obviously over compensated, as we adults often do, and so rather than the sensible thing, experiencing feelings but not making life changing decisions based on them, I grew to despise them. They were something for weaker Christians… I didn’t need them. I was almost proud of the fact that I didn’t need to FEEL God in order to believe in Him.

But it got lonely.

I feel the love of my wife. My children are both crazy about me… I love the way that makes me feel. Feelings are awesome… so I really wasn’t opposed to them… only when it came to the spiritual side of things. I wish I had more to write down at this point… but now we’re caught up to the current day… and I’m totally blown away with the amount of love that God, my Father, has expressed to my family.

You know how you feel when someone gives you the perfect gift? A gift that shows that shows you how well they know you? It may not even be very expensive… or maybe it’s even handmade… but the sentiment behind the gift makes it priceless. Have you ever cried after opening something at a birthday or Christmas? I have (it was a Buzz Lightyear watch)… but this gift that God is giving to us is so personal, so perfect, so spot-on… it simply blows my mind. It truly feels like a dream. Unreal.

God’s love feels good for a change. It’s nice.

Let’s be honest, sometimes His love hurts. It urges us to grow and go to places we’re not comfortable going. It shines the light of Truth into the dark corners of our souls… places where ugly things hide. It’s not fun being broken and rebuilt for His use. It doesn’t feel good. I guess I thought that’s all there was. Maybe I was just really screwed up and needed a lot of extra work. Maybe I just fought it and hurt myself. Who cares.

God, thank you for your amazing love. I’ve always had it… but thanks for making it feel so good this time. *tears*

How do we deal, as children’s ministers, with a lack of pastoral support?

Resources:

• http://inflateaset.com
• http://kids.woot.com
• My Preaching Video

I’m interested in what you do (or don’t do) for Halloween. So let’s flip the script here today and you tell me something.

What are you doing this year for your kids & community for Halloween?

Leave your responses in the comments.

I’ve written about Children’s Ministry names before, but that was more of a post about the types of names. This time I’m just going to punch out a list of names for Children’s Church right off the top of my head. I cannot confirm or deny if any of these are original or in use somewhere. These are simply offered out of a desire to help those who are searching for Children’s Ministry Names.

Kid Works – A construction or science theme.

InTune – Music or computer theme.

Megaville – City or superhero theme.

JAM City – Jesus And Me, a city theme.

ChurchName Kids – Put your church’s name and add kids to the end. It works.

Xtreme – Extreme sports theme.

Power House – Electricity or explosion themed.

Young Adventures – Explorer themed.

City Kids or Kid City – City themes.

NRG Zone

Power Source

Sonshine Kidz

Kids Life

Sincity – Just checking to see if you’re reading this.

Kids for Christ

Kids Trek

Disciple Ship – Nautical theme.

Volunteer Seekers – Sorry.

Kids Place

Kid Nation

UpStreet

Kidz Zone

Kid Builders

Camp Kingdom

Kid Power

Kid Planet

Action Kids

Big Steps

iKids

180 Crew

KidStyle

Kids in Training

BootCamp

Camp Rock

TNT

Impact

Christ’s Kids

Young Champions

Submitted by @PerryLyons

Kidsmin

KidsChristClass

Kids for Christ

His Little Ones

Christaloneians

Tykes for Christ

FYI – The logo above was done by me for a Children’s Pastor via my website http://drawyouapicture.com. If you need a low-cost children’s ministry logo, check it out.

What do you do when someone you depended on quits Children’s Ministry? Maybe it’s a top level coordinator or just someone who said they would do music for VBS. The job they were going to do doesn’t matter… the fact that you’re not stuck with it, or unable to do the program because of it, is. It can be easy to panic when you get those emails or phone calls. I’ve recently had this happen to me. It changes things, but I’ll adjust and eventually have the same outcome. I guess that’s the point after all.

Here are some tips for dealing with big jobs that get abandoned.

1. Don’t Panic

This is not a choice you can make just after you’re disappointment happens. This is a choice you make today… before anything goes haywire. Are you going to be a person of action… or reaction? I don’t know about you, but I want to be in control of what comes out of my mouth… and though it’s true that no one can tame the tongue… you can control where the tongue is speaking from. If your heart is focused on the One you live to serve, if you realize who is in control, that heart will overflow out of your mouth when the time comes. Make the choice today to not panic.

2. Don’t Burn Bridges

Like Moses said, “Let your people go!”… kinda. You may be angry, hurt, upset, disappointed… but let them go easy! You’re going to have a ton of feelings toward them… none of them will be good ones. None of them will be based on anything other than what you think they’ve done to you. You can’t base decisions on bad thinking. So make your choice now… when they call or email… let them off easy. I always make a point to let them know that the door swings both ways, in a positive sense. They’re welcome back anytime! I can count on two hands the number of volunteers I’ve gotten back because I gave them a guilt free exit.

3. Trust Your Real Source

Both step one and step two rely on step 3 to work. You’ve got to realize where your help comes from. It’s not a volunteer, your spouse or your pastor… not even in yourself. Your help comes from the Lord (creator of Heaven and Earth). Also, it’s HIS ministry, HIS kids, His church, HIS passion and therefore HIS responsibility. Trust that God has a plan to work everything out for your good and HIS glory. Pray to the Lord of the harvest to send you laborers… it’s HIS harvest field… if he wants it harvested, he’ll have to send you folks to help! He does and He will.

4. Think Outside Your Circle

Okay, so the spiritual stuff is good… but what about the help you need? God helps those who help themselves right? Maybe. I prefer to say that we do what we can do and God does what we can’t. If you’re like me, you’ve tapped about just about everyone you know. It may be time to think outside your circle. Pray a bit and ask God to open your mind to someone who may have the right skill set to do what you need done. Ask them directly, letting them know what skills attracted you to them. Offer a limit to their service… say, three months. Tell them they can visit before they commit. If they bite, awesome, if not… keep praying until God delivers.

Trials like this are never fun. They’re one of the more frustrating things you’ll deal with in ministry. But like any struggle, you can just go through it… or you can go through it and have God’s purpose work in you as a result. You’re going to go through it anyway… might as well do it God’s way and get some benefits!

Two different children acting out in two different ways sparked the idea for this post today. One was a 3rd grade boy on our Rangers class… the other was my 1.5 year old son. They both were acting out in ways that were unusual for them… and because it was unusual… grace was given.

My son, or “Dunder” as we call him, was having a rough day yesterday. He was crying uncontrollably any time his Mom walked away from him. He was sensitive, whiny and just all around bad… but in a weird way. Just when we were about to pack him in a box and ship him away we theorized that he may be teething and gave him some baby Tylenol. His behavior improved within the hour. The boy was in pain apparently.

Later that evening at our Wednesday church services I was brought a couple of young men who had exchanged blows while picking up the game room for pre-class worship time. I listened to the excuses and issued my standards. I told them I’d be talking to their parents and that I wanted to be able to tell them that the boys had been good the rest of the evening. I told them to sit separately and go back into worship. One of the two was crying uncontrollably the entire time… which was unlike him… but I figured he was just upset I was talking to his parents.

Later that evening I got a call from his teacher. He was causing problems in class and was refusing to sit in time out. I was ready to put the fear of God in this kid. I was going to lay down the law and be absolutely sure he knew that he could not act this way in class and expect to get away with it. I was going to call the parents out from church… and possibly read them the riot act as well.

I had the child meet me out in the hall with the teacher… I felt my heart soften toward the boy. Kids who cause two sets of problems in same night, who don’t do it every week, are probably going through something. I asked him what the trouble was tonight. He looked to the ground and said that he hadn’t slept well the night before. I now noticed how red his eyes were. The boy was exhausted! No wonder he was acting out.

All of my plans flew out the window… grace for his situation came in it’s place. I told him that even when he’s sleepy he needs to make good choices. That while I was still going to talk to his parents, I didn’t want to add to it that he wasn’t obeying his teachers. I told him that he would go back into class and service his time… but that he could lay his head on the table for the rest of class if he wished to rest.

I tend to be a person who sticks tightly to the rules and policies… and this serves me well most of the time. But I always run the risk of doing so blindly, with little consideration to the people involved. My prayer is that God will help me and those like me to always be ready to forget what they deserve and be ready to give the grace that He has shown me so often.

I believe in cutting my Sunday Children’s Church Service into segments of no more than 10-15 minutes each. One of the ways I do that is by sticking one or two games in to the mix. My games are not just distractions… I use them as an excuse to reiterate the main point of the service. In other words, my games are quick, simple, and themed.

Quick

No matter what our game is we only play it for 60 seconds. My game person chooses the children in advance during the service (watching to see who is being good and choosing at random from that group) and let’s them know when to come up and how to play. When she gets on stage, she calls up the kids she’s already chosen, briefly explains what’s about to happen to the crowd (the gamers already know) and then it’s Mark, Set, GO! Sixty seconds later the game is over, a point is made and prizes and points are given. Then it’s on to the next segment.

Simple

Almost every single one of our stage games follows this formula: “How many (or much) ___________ can you ___________ in 60 seconds?”

This formula helps us keep games simple and quick. Here are some examples of games we’ve done this way:

• How many cotton balls can you collect…
• How many Frisbee’s can you toss through a hoop…
• How much soda can you drink…
• How many puzzle pieces can you put together…
• How many Lego’s can you stack…

Even when we don’t stick to the formula, we still keep it simple and quick.

Themed

There is no reason games should be ‘burn time’ where the kids aren’t learning. It’s simple enough to theme the games after something in the lesson or Bible story. For instance, the cotton ball game above could be used when talking about Manna. Frisbee tosses are for talking about sin and missing the target. Putting puzzles together are good for illustrating how God heals broken hearts. We’ve stacked Lego’s when we’ve talked about God being a strong tower.

The game’s theme isn’t going to be obvious unless your game leader points it out. We typically do this before and after the game. It goes something like this, “Since we’re talking about Manna today, we’re going to practice picking up a bit of Manna ourselves!” Then after the game, “You guys and girls did great picking up that Manna! This game reminds me that God will always provide what we need the same way God provided for His people in the wilderness.”

What stage game tips do you have? Leave them in the comments below. We’d love to hear from you.

What’s in a name? For some people, quite a bit, especially when it comes to their children’s ministry. Some consider the selection of the name to be on the same level as their mission statement. Some go for something that sounds super fun. Still others keep it simple and pattern their name after the Big Church’s name. No matter where you fall, a name for your children’s ministry or children’s church is an important decision. Let’s look at the different kinds of names.

The Acrostic

Though this style of name has lost some of it’s popularity, giving meaning to every letter in a particular word is still a popular choice. I recently saw a Nursery called F.R.O.G.s which meant that they were Fully Relying On God. Maybe a bit much for babies to achieve (or is it)… but all the same… that’s what they went with.

My own children’s church uses a version of this. JAM City is a place where Jesus And Me get together. It’s far from a mission statement… but it clarifies each week why we come to church.

The only downside of this is sometimes trying to find meaningful words for each letter can be limiting. I’ve seen some pretty strange things come of trying to make something fit in just the right way. Just be sure not to compromise your mission or message because of a name limitation.

The Spiritual Name

Personally, these are my least favorite types of kids church names. This is mostly due to my spiritual background… most of the churches I went to were long on charisma and short on real spiritual depth. So disregard my opinion if this is your cup of tea. To those going with this style of name, I would urge them to keep the balance between the spiritual depth and the fun of learning. A child’s experience with your message is just as important as the message. If we do not make the message attractive, applicable and yes, fun… they will typically not receive the message in the first place. So go with Spiritual Warriors of God if you want… just make being a Spiritual Warrior is practical and fun.

The Theme Name

For many ministers, their name determines their theme. Unless you’re tied to your theme… you need to be careful. My own kids church name is guilty of this. JAM City dictates that our theme will always be a city, but I’m good with this. I’ve used it for 8 years now and have found the city theme to be very flexible. City’s can have parades, celebrations, conflicts, new construction, fairs, struggles, storms and just about anything you can imagine.

I’ve seen ministries named after Movie Studios, Jungles, Water or Oceans, Space and even Power Companies. With these types of names, I’m a fan of restricting it to just the children’s church. The Children’s Ministry, on the other hand, can have a different name that is broad and can include all of the ministries of the department.

The Practical Name

For some churches, simple is better. They like names that simply give it to you straight. Names like Kids Church (sometimes with a ‘z’) or Children’s Church. It may not be very creative… but it gets the point across. There’s no question what the ministry is about.

I’m a fan of using the practical name in publications for visitors and on the church website. Visitors will not know what PowerSource is… is it a healing service, youth service, single’s ministry or what? So I always lead with Children’s Church… then put the ministry name in the description.

The Church Name

Sometimes you’ll see the church’s name or theme as the driving force behind a name selection. Sheffield Kids (or with a ‘z’) is a perfectly acceptable name. I know of a youth ministry from a church with a water-type name… so their youth group is called Surge with a huge wave as their logo. These types of names are great because they have a built-in connection to the church and yet allow for limitless themes and such. Sheffield Kids (or with a ‘z’) can have a sub-title that introduces the theme of the year (or eon).

Choosing a name is an important step… but personally there is no best style of name. Whatever works for your church is the best. If you see a name you like that’s already in use… and it’s not copyrighted… use it! I know for a fact we’re not the only JAM City out there. The important thing to remember is that a name is just a title. It is not an edge or an advantage. It will not guarantee success. That’s not a title’s job. Your ministry will define the title… not the other way around.

Any children’s minister with policies will eventually have one of those policies ignored or transgressed against. Calling a volunteer to ask over it is never fun or easy. Correcting one of our kids is easy. Correcting an adult, even better an adult that is older than ourselves, can be downright awkward or even embarrassing for everyone involved.

Over the years I’ve have to call plenty of volunteers to the carpet. Most have been more than willing to be corrected and move forward but once in a while it turns into a fiasco. Sometimes because of the personality of the volunteer… and sometimes because I go into the meeting half prepared.

Here are some things I need to remember for next time.

1. Do not operate on assumptions or rumors.

Assume the best about the person. Better to be proven wrong than to treat them poorly because of misinformation.

2. Keep focused on one goal at a time. One correction per meeting.

You may have a lot of things to cover… but if you throw to much at them they’ll think you hate them. The people are more important than the policy.

3. Write an agenda. Stick to it.

Write up what your goal is and work your way back from there. Each bullet is a correction. Sprinkle it with compliments.

4. Make sure your goal is to improve the minister not just the ministry.

Your real goal will come through in your conversation. If it’s pure, it will cover a multitude of mistakes.

5. Understand there is the Truth, your perception of the truth and their perception of the truth.

Assume they have a different view of the subject than you. Listen. Try to understand.

6. Pray.

Before, during, after. It helps everything.

7. Follow up after.

Even just a text full of praise and thanks for the volunteer’s willingness to change can help put out the fires that often spring up after a meeting.

This is great! Enjoy!

I have a Marriage & Family podcast/blog/webcomic over at GeekLovesNerd.com. I do (almost) daily writings on issues that matter to married couples, parents and to those hoping to be in a marriage some day. It’s fun.

I wanted to share a series I’m doing on Proper Discipline. It’s basically the same stuff you can get from the Proper Discipline Audio Series I did here on CMMonthly a while back… but in print format… and for parents rather than the classroom.

I’d love your input and feedback!

Proper Discipline [via Geek Loves Nerd]

You often see articles on how to avoid burnout in ministry… but what about when it sneaks up on you? How can you get out of the hole of despair your in? Below I’ve listed some things that help me when the well doing makes me weary.

5. Time Away – but not necessarily

Taking time off if you haven’t had a break can be a great way to recharge… but not always. Sometimes taking a break can be like running away. If you don’t do things to recharge in your time away, you’ll end up coming back right into the same situations as ill prepared as you were before.

4. Act Your Way Into Feelings

I’m not talking about faking a good mood… though we’ve all been there. That would be an attempt to feeling your way into actions… which is killer. Acting your way into feelings means that you get up, get out there and keep on trucking. If you can’t do everything you’re supposed to do, do what you can do. Give God room to move in your ministry life by continuing to do as much of it as you can. The rest of the steps depend on this.

3. Change Things Up

Most of the time we’re not burned out on ministry as a whole… we’re just burned out on parts of it. It may be time for a change in those areas. I’m a fan of giving away parts of the ministry that grind my nerves away to those who are especially gifted at it. Even if you don’t delegate everything… doing it differently can be just the thing to renew your interest and passion.

2. Ask For Help

We get burned out when we try to do more than we can handle. Sure, there are things God has called us to do that may be beyond us and all… but His yoke is easy and all that. I’m talking about when we take on to much and try to do it all ourselves. It’s time to delegate. Don’t know how? Try asking yourself, “Who would take my place if I were sick this Sunday?” and go from there. You don’t have to give everything away… just the parts that anyone else can do.

1. Pray Through

As a child I would hear people talk about ‘praying through’. I didn’t understand it then… but I sure do now. Praying through, for me anyway, is praying until my attitude changes. Literally bugging God until He helps me through. Typically for me it means Him humbling me and realizing it was some sort of independent pride that got me where I was in the first place. Along with seeking energy, attitude adjustments and such, you might also ask for creativity… or if you’re season has changed. God loves you more than the ministry you provide. He knows that you minister out of your overflow… and He will fill you if you wait on Him.

5. Remember their name.

For me, this is a huge problem. I’m terrible with names across the board. I carry my drivers license so I can prove who I am… to myself. Nametags are great… but learning the names of your kids (other than the ‘bad’ ones) is huge. Remembering them after their out of children’s ministry is even better.

4. Tell on them to their parents when they’ve been extra good.

Sometimes in the chaos of a Sunday good behavior can be taken for granted. The last thing we want is our parents to start rolling their eyes when we approach them. Start telling on your kids when they’ve been caught being good. It’ll help you stay positive and the kids will love you for it.

3. Eat lunch with them at school and meet their Teacher(s).

With permission from a parent or guardian I have never had a problem getting in to eat lunch with one of my kids. I usually show up a bit early so I can meet the Teacher, see the classroom and most importantly, their own desk. This is especially good for your ‘bad’ kids. You might be surprised how good they are in school… or how they’ve improved since Kindergarten.

2. Get yourself invited to eat dinner at their home.

This is easy. Just ask the kids to bug their parents. You’ll get invites! It’s an excellent way to get into a family’s life. Have mom and the child give you a tour of the home and see the kid’s room. Remember a few things and mention them from the stage the next week. Watch their face.

1. Call them on their birthday.

A postcard is great… but a phone call on the day (or even the week) of their birthday has a greater effect on children and families than any other single thing I have ever done. If you have a small group, you’re probably looking at 2-6 calls a month. Put them in your planner and remember to check. Make weekend calls on Friday. Make Sunday calls in person with hug.

Last night was a trying evening for me. Most of the parents we serve a awesome, grateful and accommodating… but the mom I dealt with last night was none of those. I don’t know what got to me most… her behavior or the way I responded to it.

In a nutshell, she had three children. One was nursery age. The Nursery was full so she tried to sneak her newly-turned three year old into an older class without checking in. I stepped in and corrected the situation. Mom was angry and started talking trash.

Here are some things I learned that will help me deal with this type of person in the future.

1. You can’t reason with them.

They know what they want. They want to be rid of their child. This type of person wouldn’t care if they were dropping their child off at a homeless shelter… they just want what they want. Don’t waste your time trying to appease them if you can’t give them what they want. Just like a troll on a forum, it just gives them more of a platform to spew anger.

2. Trust your policies and procedures.

These folks will lie… they will tell you their way had been done before… that everything was fine last time… that you told them such-in-such. Though you’ll want to believe them… trust your people. Trust that they followed the policies and procedures until you’ve spoken to them and learned otherwise. Do not assume your volunteers have disregarded everything you’ve taught them just because one person says differently.

3. You can’t serve everyone.

I have a huge heart for people. I hate it when I’m put in the place of looking like a bad guy… but that’s not my role unless someone is behaving in a way that forces me to squash that behavior. My ministry has the potential of being a great resource and help to families… but if someone is unwilling to follow simple, basic policies… they are rejecting all of that. The part that kills me is that they don’t even know what they’re missing. I understand that people have issues… but Children’s ministry functions within a set of rules. Those rules are not just for fun… they’re for the protection of the folks we’re ministering to… and those who are ministering. When we have someone who can’t do the basics of following procedure… well, there are plenty of churches out there who have more heart than sense… they can go to church there.

4. Did they have a point?

After all of the drama and bad behavior I still need to ask myself… Did they have a point? Was there something we missed? If I don’t ask that question and attempt to answer it seriously, I risk being a ministry who believes they have ‘arrived’. We always have room to grow and improve. In this case I realized that if we’d simply had enough workers in the Nursery, there would have been no issue at all. I understand at least part of the frustration my parent felt.

What would you add to this list? Share you insights in the comments.

I met a few friend from Daytona Beach, Florida yesterday. He’s a Children’s Pastor with a lot of creativity… but not a lot of space. He shares his children’s ministry room with other ministries just like I do. He got tired of moving heavy sets each week and decided to do something about it.

The product of that need was something he calls Inflate-A-Set. It’s a super portable, light weight set frame that inflates like a moon walk but works like a rear screen and puppet stage.

I’m going to be saving my pennies to get me one. It’s exactly what I’ve been looking for!

They’ve just got a business card style site up for now… but it’ll give you something to look at.

Inflate-A-Set

This weekend we recorded our JAM City children’s church service using four cameras and an portable audio recorder. I spent most of Sunday afternoon and all day Monday putting it all together and editing it down. The result is a 56 minute video cut into 10 minute segments available for your viewing pleasure on YouTube.

No set. No fancy lighting. No amazing costumed characters. Just a bunch of passion and a great group of kids (it was a ‘rain Sunday’ so not even a large group of kids).

I’ve edited out a lot of our more fun segments to focus on the ministry portions… but I plan to make those available as separate clips shortly. Stuff your missing is: Rules & Regs, Jumps, Offering, Praise & Worship, and Game Time.

If you have any questions about anything you see in the video… leave a comment below and I’ll get right back to you.

Link: JAM City Children’s Church Video

As of this morning at 12:00am they’ve launched a brand new spin on the theme: Kids.Woot.com. Every day we can expect great deals on gadgets, games and toys for children. Even Woot.com has gotten into the spirit by selling a fort making kit.

I know I’ve got this added to my bookmarks. I would imagine any children’s pastor looking for great prizes for special events would find it in their best interest to check it out daily.

I wonder if Kids.Woot.com will do their own version of the BOC?

[Link]

There is even a Deal or No Deal Banker’s Offer Calculator

Free Game Show Controls

You can download the mp3 here.

And check out this Kindergarten class that performed the song for their Family Night. I just found the video last night!

I have recently put this challenge to myself and realized I had a vision or two that I had been holding off on for no good reason. I immediately called a meeting and boldly laid out my vision and I think things are going to start moving that direction. It’s exciting.

It’s the same as when you sell your home. There are a ton of things that you suddenly realize you need to fix that you were living with and had actually grown to accept. Looking at your home through a buyers eyes helps you see things in a more honest light. This exercise can help us to light a fire under ourselves to jump on those projects, programs, tasks or whatever that we’ve gotten used to being less than what we’ve wanted them to be.

God had a simple reminder for me:

You’re not serving them… you’re serving me.

God will never disrespect you. He never looks down on you for being a servant. He is always proud, always thrilled with your service. He is the reason we do what we do. He’s always worth working for.

I hope that sample phrase ministers to you as much as it did me. It falls into the category of things you know you know… but need to be reminded of in a fresh way once in a while.

Plus… it was only two sets of parents… not all of them.

Most children’s ministers are unpaid untrained volunteers who have a lot of passion and ability but not a lot of ideas, support or resources. They also don’t have a budget. I think this is why the CM gurus have ignored the real need… there’s no money in it. I don’t see a lot of curriculum being created and marketed to the Inner City for instance.

The mother of 3 doing children’s ministry in the basement of the church with her husband doing puppets doesn’t need to know about leadership, time-management and budgeting. She needs to know how to create object lessons, how to discipline properly, how to stay motivated, how to work with nothing and turn it into spiritual growth in a child’s life.

My hope is that a movement will rise up. A community of mid-small church children’s ministers who are Kingdom minded enough to share what they’ve learned, what they have, what has kept them afloat. A group of folks who aren’t comparing numbers or conference appearances but may have accidently mastered some aspect of their ministry and would love to share it with the rest of us.

As MJ said… we’ve got to start with the man in the mirror… so here goes. If there is anything I can help anyone with… anything I have learned… anything I can give (that is mine to give)… please let me know. That is the goal of this site and podcast after all. To target the forgotten.

My charge to all of us: Forget about being popular. Be important.

I sat in my car going through all of the things I needed to stop complaining about. There was a huge list. The truth is our church is a very hard church to serve. It’s just the truth. A slide show of situations and issues flipped through my mind. Volunteers. Parents. Finances. Inequity. Drama. Politics. Failures. Disappointments. Mistakes. Broken Hearts. Things the church had done to me… things I had done to the church.

God said, “Yeah, but this is what I’ve called you to… can you do it?”

That meant to much to me.

1. He knew it was a tough job. It helped so much to have his understanding.
2. It gave purpose to the drama. God had called me to help with it.
3. He had called ME. He hadn’t been able to call some folks… apparently I was the man for the job.

I think God’s word to me is a word to us all… to those in ministry, to those in the workplace or who work to make a home. God called you! You are unique, able, enabled, and specifically gifted for the role He has given you to play.

Your church may be a world of drama. It may be the best thing in the world. The easiest place to work or not… but wherever it is… that’s what God called you to. There is a whole heap of energy in that.

It had been a rough day, a rough year actually, and being the last to leave made me angry and bitter. A flood of complaints flooded into my brain. It must be nice to have a pastoral position where you’re done once church is over! I must be the only one who actually works around here!

Then suddenly I had a video play in my head. It was of me 20 years later, taking that same walk from the church to my car. Two folks were standing up on the sidewalk saying, “Look, there’s Pastor James. He’s the hardest working pastor here. Been the last to leave for over 20 years!” Then a thought came to my mind.

If you’re bitter… you’ll ruin your legacy. No one will care.

It was like a slap in the face… a much needed one. Before I even made it to my car my heart was repentant. I wish I could report that I was instantly changed. I wasn’t… but that phrase became like a rudder for my mind. Whenever I started to get bitter, it would help to steer me in the right direction.

I don’t want my sacrifices to go to waste. I don’t want my labor to give others the impression that working for God is futile and overwhelming. It only seems that way when I try to do it in my own strength.

God began to show me that there is purpose to our struggles. Especially when they don’t go away or even ease up. But we can ruin that when we complain and become jaded and embittered.

One day I want people to look at my life and be inspired to emulate it. It will be an example one way or the other. I want it to be an example to follow, not an example of how NOT to do it.

“Outlive this,” was all He said.

I had been praying because I was seeing some pretty tough times coming on the horizon in my job and home life. They issues were taking a toll on my job performance, attitude, patience and spirituality. I had been praying for guidance, answers, help of just about any kind… and all I got was two words. Outlive this.

Though I’ve since had more thoughts and impressions that I know were from God since that moment… no matter how I pray, I haven’t gotten anything more out of our Father. No matter the circumstances, I always just come back to the last thing He told me.

I’ve given this short statement a lot of thought over the years. Like a Rodeo Rider riding bareback it has become a handle for me to hold onto. Here’s what I’ve pulled from it. I hope it will be of comfort to someone out there.

“Outlive This” means a few things to me:

1. He didn’t say ‘Survive This’.

There is a huge difference between surviving something and outliving it. You can barely be alive and still say your survived. You can be totally torn to shreds and still be a survivor. That’s not what God wanted from me. He wanted me to be alive after it was all over. He didn’t want me to just get through it… but rather to learn to thrive in the midst of the complexities of my life.

2. If I was outliving something, it meant there would be an end.

The word ‘outlive’ denotes that whatever you’re outliving will die before you do. That word gave me so much hope. Yes, I was expected to thrive in adversity… but that adversity had an expiration date. It was eventually going to die… and I would still be alive… and in theory better for it. It was like God ran to the end of the tunnel and installed a little light for me. This wasn’t an open ended issue. There would be a conclusion… and I would be alive after it.

3. There was a purpose for the drama.

God knew it was coming. He gave me a handle to hold on to. He wanted me alive on the other end. There was an end in sight (though I didn’t know when it was coming). So therefore there was a plan an a purpose for this mess. What do they say? What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger. Yeah, it was something like that.

I feel that I’m approaching the end of the challenging season… yet feel another one coming on. It has been the worst yet best period of my life. I can’t say I passed it with flying colors… but I have turned out better than I was going in… and by better I mean I have learned to rely on God more than ever and realized how fragile and stupid my own thinking, meddling and attempts to control things are. I’ve moved from faith into trust with God. It’s a much better place to be.

I hope this speaks to someone.

The servers were volunteers, so I made sure to be polite to them. They were serving exactly how they’d been instructed after all. I noticed that to make eye contact I was having to either stand on tip-toe or hunch down to see past a home built sneeze guard over the serving line. Every day I got a little more annoyed at this small inconvenience. I thought, Why don’t they hang this thing about two inches higher so we can see through it! Doesn’t anyone believe in excellence anymore? I know this seems ridicules… and it was… but stinky boys, unrelenting heat and little food make for an easily irritated man.

One one particular day near the end of camp as I went through the line, I noticed the kids around me getting their food. Many of them would look up and thank their server as I had done… but without ducking or toeing up. I ducked down low to their level and looked up at the servers. I had a perfect view of every face. Then it hit me…

This thing wasn’t hung for me… it was hung for them.

This became one of my core values immediately. Everything in my ministry had to be passed through that filter. To this day whenever I do anything, like set design) I will go and sit low in a chair in each major section to make sure every child can see. I don’t use cursive fonts because lower elementary can’t read them yet. I keep the lights bright in my chapel because some kids are leery of dark places… especially first time visitors.

Here are some questions I constantly ask myself:

1. Will they understand it?

2. Can they see it?

3. Are they scared of it?

4. Can they apply it?

5. Is it too long for them to pay attention?

6. Could they repeat it? Re-teach it?

7. Are they being bad, or being their age?

8. Will they get it?

9. Will they want it?

10. Will they remember it?

When we’re faced with an issue that is potentially embarrassing issue we are are very honest and clear with the parents. It is always handled by myself, the children’s pastor. I state the facts (in this case head lice), letting the parent know that the child has lice… we give them information on how to clean the lice from their child… including tips on clothing, headwear, bedding, siblings etc. and in some cases offer to purchase the kit or kits.

You may find some information online and create a fact sheet and have it ready to give to parents. The key is to be compassionate, respectful and private.

As far as the response in the classroom. Teachers should be instructed possible issues such as lice. They aren’t the end of the world. They don’t attack with flaming torches and pitchforks. They can’t leap 10’s of feet through the air to infest the entire classroom in a single setting. Have them pull the child aside, explain to them the situation… tell the child to be mindful (if they are old enough) and then contact the parent (or let the child go back to class until service is over).

I have found in every sensitive situation that the best course of action is to be immediate, clear and kind. The more I try to beat around the bush, overly sensitive and mushy, the more it actually makes the family feel embarrassed and trashy.

Bible Gateway

Link: http://www.biblegateway.com

Description: Online bible with verse lookup, keyword search, topical search and multiple versions.

How I Use: I use it while on the phone to quickly find verses for specific needs or questions. During service prep it’s helpful to find the easiest to understand version of a particular verse. I also find reading a passage in multiple versions helps in my own understanding since I don’t do the Greek and Hebrew thang.

Animation Factory

Link: http://www.animationfactory.com

Description: Low-cost animated clipart, video backgrounds and PowerPoint backgrounds. The cheapest resource for full-motion animated video backgrounds online anywhere.

How I Use: This is where I get video backgrounds for the song videos we make in-house. The animated clipart also comes in handy for Jump Videos and such.

Google Images

Link: http://images.google.com/

Description: Search images that are available online (but be careful what you search for!).

How I Use: I use Google Images almost daily to find pictures to help illustrate sermon points, find photos of bible characters, images of real settings in the Holy Land. It’s also how I find images for posts on this website.

Google Docs

Link: http://docs.google.com/

Description: Online document editing and sharing suite.

How I Use: You can not only create Word-like documents online, you can share them with volunteers. If I’m working on a service with a lot of input from key volunteers, I’ll share the document with them and allow them to fill in their own service segments for review. You can also create online spreadsheets. We use one to track BGMC giving and it is shared between myself and the BGMC coordinator. I also use it to put together show notes for the CMMonthly podcasts and share it with Super Dave so he can add his own thoughts.

Gmail

Link: http://mail.google.com

Description: In my opinion the best email service on earth. Gmail is free to use and has powerful features including my favorite feature, message threading (groups emails by individual conversations).

How I Use: I’ve been using Gmail for years now. My first email dates 10/04/2004. It is the best way to stay connected to your email from any computer (or cell phone) anywhere in the world. I use it to keep my contacts organized. You can label them and group them as needed. You don’t actually have to delete your emails, you Archive them. Gmail then allows you to quickly search through your archive for any word or phrase in any part of your email, not just the subject. This has come in very handy in the past when I need to confirm sent emails or facts discussed via email from the past.

I also have 6 different Gmail accounts that are able to be funneled into my main account. When I reply, it does so as if I was logged into that particular account. This is an excellent way to keep your emails organized since I know what the topic is based off which email it was sent to (one email for each podcast, one for graphic design projects, a personal email for church and friends).

Google Groups

Link: http://groups.google.com

Description: Free email groups with extra features.

How I Use: I use Google Groups constantly. I have a separate group set up for each of my ministries as well as a master group containing every email in my department. Not only can I send out emails to everyone in a particular ministry, members of that group can also email one another. When they do, the email goes out to the entire group. So it’s like having a conversation in a room of people… but online and through email.

If I send out an announcement, and one person has a question, the question goes out to everyone in the group. I or others can answer, and the answer goes out to the entire group as well. It saves me from having to answer the same question again and again. It also allows my top-level leaders to have the same access to their workers that I do. Groups especially comes in handy when there’s a cancelation or other last minute announcement that needs to go out quickly.

One of my ministries has a separate group set up just for the parents of the children in their groups. They use it for announcements and discussions.

What do you use online?

I shared my stuff! Please share your online resources in the comments!

What parts of your ministry have you delegated?

What parts do you feel belong to you alone?

What is the biggest challenge you face with those you delegate to?

What advice do you have for others who are struggling to delegate?

If there are so many benefits to delegation… why aren’t more ministers doing it? Other than the common reasons ministers don’t delegate, I think it’s because it’s harder than doing it yourself (at first) and folks simply don’t know how to do it properly.

Delegating is harder than doing it yourself… but it’s worth it.

Training someone else to do your job may sound like a great deal. You give it away and don’t have to worry about it any more. Not true. Giving away a task means you have to train the person… and constantly evaluate what they’re doing to make sure they’re doing it correctly and improving along the way. It won’t always be harder than doing it yourself… but you’ll never want to completely walk away. The ministry is still your responsibility.

Here’s how to delegate properly.

1. They watch you do it – We must always, always, always display what we want. Folks who have never done an object lesson will never ever learn what you want in a conversation or from a manual. They need to see it in motion.
2. They help you do it – Bring them up on stage with you and have them help you. There is no time limit on any of these steps. If they need three weeks singing behind you as you lead… give it to them.
3. You help them do it – It’s a major step… but you’re still there to support and help if they need you. This is a far cry from the typical way folks are dropped head-first into children’s ministry with no training or leadership. Give your volunteers the gift you may have never had yourself.
4. You watch them do it – This is the step that never ends. Offer a lot of praise. Give constructive feedback. Keep them in the service prep loop. Make them a part of your team. This is more on you than them.

Delegating is harder than doing it yourself… but it’s more than worth it.

Then came a new volunteer that I quickly gained a lot of respect for named John. He had been the son of a well-known pastor and was trying to rise into ministry on his own without relying on his father’s name. I respect that kind of thing. After a few months I asked him what he thought of the service. He said something that rocked my world forever…

“The Pastor James Show was awesome!”

I doubt he even realized how much he was saying. Not only was he pointing out that I was doing everything on stage… it suddenly sounded very prideful and self-centered. That wasn’t my heart… but as I thought and prayed through, God showed me that pride was most defiantly an element.

I almost immediately started sharing portions of my service with my volunteers. I had someone else start leading worship. I appointed a game leader. I started asking folks to come in a little early to set up the room in 15 minutes rather than the 2 hours it was taking my wife and I to do it the night before alone. I quickly realized something…

My ministry had been limited by how much I was doing.

How jacked up is that! I was working harder than ever… but because I was doing it alone… I was limiting how effective my ministry was. As I delegated more and more I found that I had more time to focus on things I didn’t even realize I wasn’t doing. Things like building relationships with parents for example. Updating policies and procedures for another.

Thinking I was the only one who could do it right was Pride.

The Pastor James Show wasn’t about the kids… it wasn’t so much about God… it was about Pastor James. I didn’t intend for that to be the case… but when people looked up there… that’s who was shining bright… me. When I started giving stuff away, and helping others become the better and better I realized something… If you succeed more than I would in my ministry… I still win. Wins don’t only come 1st hand… they come when people you disciple and developed win as well.

Doing everything means I was focused on nothing.

I wasn’t being a children’s pastor… I was being a worship leader, puppet master, stage manager, sound and video director, security coordinator, disciplinarian, game leader and more. My job was supposed to be to bring the Word… but it was only after I let go of so much that I realized how little I was actually developing a real and genuine message from God to his children. I was more focused on schedules, props, time management and such than I was on rightly dividing the Word of God. That has defiantly changed as a result of delegating.

All of the benefits didn’t happen overnight. Giving away pieces of your job isn’t easy at first… it’s actually a lot harder than doing it yourself for a time. That’s why most folks don’t bother… but we’ll talk more about that tomorrow.

It can be hard to ask volunteers to help because we feel there are things that only we are supposed to do. Even with the rest of it, we’re the one’s being paid (in some cases anyway) to do the job. We don’t go to our volunteer’s jobs and help them.

While there may be certain things that only a pastor should do… most of what we do can and should be given away. Our job is less about doing ministry and more about training others to do it. The general rule: anything that anyone else can do should be done by someone else.

We want it done exactly how we do it

When we do everything ourselves, we learn to simplify our procedures so that we can quickly move through them and get more done. This means that in actuality, you are probably the best in the church at what you’re doing. It can be very difficult to give away one of your responsibilities because you’ve not only perfected the process… but because you want it done exactly the same way.

Though keeping every responsibility under your direct control will ensure that everything is done exactly how you want… it does limit the amount of things you are able to do. They will not do it exactly the way you would do it… but it will get done and you will be free to do more of what only you can do.

We don’t want to overwhelm volunteers

We’re so happy to get a new volunteer that we don’t want to give them anything to do right away… for fear that we’ll run them off. We know how hard our job is and we are afraid that we’ll lose our help if we give them to big a job. This was me in a nutshell.

Volunteers volunteer because they want to work. In many cases they sacrifice a ‘big church’ service that they enjoyed because they want to serve. It’s almost like they’re paying to be there. It is our job to make sure they’re getting their money’s worth. If we don’t give them something to do, they will wonder why they’re even there… and they will leave. You stand to lose more volunteers by not delegating than by sharing the load.

Our job is to difficult or complicated

In my own case, I was afraid to give away parts of my job because they were very difficult and in some cases high-pressure. I thought I was being noble because I was protecting my staff from the hardest jobs. In reality, with God’s help, I realized that I was actually being prideful. Was I the only one who could handle the tough jobs? Was I somehow better than them? With this realization I was able to look around my ministry with fresh eyes.

I realized that the most dedicated people I had in ministry were in the toughest jobs. Ministry coordinators and bus captains were the most dependable… but I couldn’t keep a person on door security to save my life. So the more stressful and draining a job was potentially, the more the people were endeared to it. So not only was I downplaying their strengths, I was robbing people of an opportunity to serve God like never before.

The other truth here is that once you give a piece of your ministry away, it will not burden them like it did you. We ministers try to carry it all ourselves and so every part can see overblown and overwhelming. But to someone who is carrying only one part, it is not overwhelming to them.

Delegation is hard work… but it’s the only way your ministry will grow larger than yourself. We’ll be talking more about that tomorrow.

Yesterday, about 15 minutes before I was supposed to begin our regular Sunday kids service, I started to get waves of nausea. I grabbed the office trashcan in one hand and my cell in the other. I started texting my people and starting delegating. I asked one volunteer to preach my sermon. Another to boot up the media computer. The game lady and worship leader already knew what they were supposed to do, so no need to bother them at all. Within moments I had completely replaced myself. I fell asleep in my office chair waiting for any emergencies. My wife startled me awake a half-hour later and told me to go home. Everything was moving smoothly.

It got me thinking about delegation. There are many children’s ministers who don’t believe they (1) have people to delegate to or (2) need to even bother having someone who could do their job or (3) they feel to bad to ask anyone. But what if you got sick Sunday morning? Some might say that they’d just have to handle it… but that would be dismissing the question. For those of us who struggle with giving away parts of our job… I put that question to you:

Who would do your service if you got sick Sunday morning?

Whoever comes to mind, train those folks. If no one comes to mind… find those folks. Emergencies, illnesses and vacations happen. It just makes sense to be prepared.

This week we’ll be looking at delegation, some reasons we don’t do it, and why we should. Be sure to subscribe to our RSS feed for automatic updates.

Here are some random things I say to kids to help break the ice when I meet them. Some are funny… others are just memorable. Some are one liners, others take a bit of setup.

When you’re meeting a child or checking them in… after you’ve asked their name and age… find out if they’re married.

When guessing a child’s age… never try to be accurate… guess at least two years higher than what you’re thinking. You’ll impress them because every child wants to be bigger.

Ask groups of siblings who’s got the messiest room… who eats the most… who runs the fastest. Fingers will be flying.

With twins… always ask who’s oldest. Then who’s smartest.

All my kids know that they aren’t allowed to get married till they’re 35.

After service when kids are heading out with their parents, tell them, “Take a nap and clean your room!” You’ll get an amen from Mom.

Tell Mom that we decided that her child was so good in children’s church we decided that he/she could drive home today.

Tell a large group that if they don’t listen… we’re canceling everyone’s birthday! (with a huge smile of course!)

When a child tells me it’s their birthday, I congratulate them, ask them their age… and what did they get ME!

Before and after Christmas, make it clear that if anyone gets any (fill in your favorite stuff here… for me it’s Buzz Lightyear stuff) they can bring it to you rather than return it to the store.

What one-liners and jokes do you use to play with your kids?

Bozo – Thinks he has to be a kid in order to reach kids. Acts crazy and just wants to make kids laugh.
Strength: Easily attracts kids.
Weakness: Cannot be serious, cannot hold attention for long, kids don’t take them seriously: can’t confide problems in leader; don’t respond to discipline.

JoJo – Thinks kids need a serious spiritual awakening. May use serious, hard to understand topics. Sometimes they get results, but often end up losing interest of kids and going over their heads. Possibly even scaring them.
Strengths: Order, image of discipline, some kids respond to academic approach.
Weaknesses: boring, won’t keep most kids attention, kids don’t learn practical truths they can apply to their life at their level, begin to hate church or learn to fake it to please leader.

Krusty – Loves kids, but doesn’t take children’s ministry seriously. Thinks that telling bible stories and using the right props and materials is enough. Has no spiritual foundation. Goes through the motions, teaches with curriculum/bible in hand because there was little to no preparation. Reads stories, doesn’t do anything creative or original. Just goes through the motions so he/she can say that they did church. Never challenges what has worked in the past.
Strengths: Kids are being taught something and will learn.
Weaknesses: Tells kids they aren’t important, tells parents their kids aren’t important. Church/God is boring.

Ronald – Has all the tricks, videos, skits, props, flash, glam, music, games and more. Appears to be a world class, cutting edge children’s ministry with money, facilities, and everything. Leader is caught up in the Hype of ministry. The props.
Strengths: Ministry appears to be fully functional and attractive.
Weaknesses: Kids are entertained, but not challenged to grow. Kids go to a show not a church service. There is no personal touch from pastor to child.

Homey – Want the best for kids, but use God as a weapon. They portray him as a bad man with a big stick ready to kill them if they step out of line. He is “good all the time” and “worthy of all praise” but is also hot tempered and quick to judge our mistakes.
Strengths: A few kids will respond, out of fear mostly, but it can keep them out of trouble.
Weaknesses: Most will quit trying to please an unappeasable God.

Red – Loves God and kids, and feels his/her job is to connect the two together. What they lack in talent, skill and know-how they make up for in faithfulness, persistence and genuine love for kids. Kids would come to their services if there were only a bible story and a hug.
Strengths: Kids are learning from lesson and example. Kids know they are important and loved. Kids see a real person who isn’t perfect, someone they can grow to be.
Weaknesses: Ministry and minister may not look like much, inward growth isn’t exciting to look at.

What kind of leader should we be?

As someone who started as a nervous, less than eager,  altar time participant myself… here are some things I’ve picked up that may help you, or help those you are training.

Kids will come forward for anything

If you play the right music, dim the lights and say the right words you could have an altar call for kids to ask the Easter Bunny in their hearts and you’d still get a good turn out. I mean, who wouldn’t want the Easter Bunny!! Silly, yes… but important. Important because I truly believe that an altar call is all but useless to those who don’t understand what they’re doing. Some could say it’s good practice… but I disagree. I think that’s most of the troubles we have with our kids and spirituality. It’s rehearsed, practiced. They’ve learned how to look like it’s doing what we want it to do for them… and some of them keep up the act till they turn (if they last that long) 18… then they’re gone. That being said…

Most of the kids who come down have a real purpose

There are a lot of tears at a good altar call. Some kids may come down because they’re doing what is expected… but there are a good bunch who come down because they want something from God. They have a purpose for being there… but it may not be the purpose you made the call for.

It’s important to find out why they’re there

I always ask a kid why they came down. If they don’t know, I pray with them and usually direct them back to their seat. It’s not time for them yet. When they do know, and let me know, it helps me pray for them. Yes, God knows… and it doesn’t matter if I know or not… but I believe that in that situation we’re God’s hands and we can be his Voice. I remember loving it when an adult who knew me and my situation would pray specifically for me. On the other hand I can say that I wasn’t thrilled about being prayed over (and breathed on) by the ‘guy who prays for everyone’ dude. More importantly than me knowing… it’s important for them to know. It helps them focus their mind so they can focus on what they need from God.

Find out why they’re crying

If you’ve got a little girl who’s bawling her eyes out… it can be tough to know if they’re being blessed, if they’re missing momma, or if they’re reliving some horrible tragedy from their past. So when I see that child, I always make a point to go to them and ask a simple question, “Happy cry or Sad cry?” If they say ‘happy’ then I just praise God with them. If they say ‘sad’ then it’s time to help them talk it through. Altar times are great… but they can tear the Band-Aid off a broken heart quicker than anything… and we’ve got to be discerning enough to not walk past a child who is broken and assume they’re being blessed.

Thank God… It’s not about us

It can be a little daunting to be there for a hurting child… knowing what to say or not say. Am I talking to much… not enough? Do I have to have all the answers? Can I mess up in a way that will make this child worse? I’ll say it again… Thank God it’s not about us. I believe this… if our hearts are dead set on pleasing God and helping kids… just pure Godly intentionality… it’s going to be hard to mess up. I’ve found that kids aren’t looking for the perfect answer anyway… they’re looking for someone to talk to. They just want to get it out. They want to hear that God knows… and loves them… and WILL help them. Most of the issues I pray with kids about revolve around family issues. When the situation is bad enough… I just remind them that though they have no control over their current family life… they have every bit of control in the world over they family they choose for their own kids. You can give purpose to their pain if you help them to learn from other’s mistakes instead of repeating them.

Don’t be afraid to reel in a weird-o

You know who I’m talking about. That one guy or gal who just loves to wale and spit and spew and shake your kids till they ‘get the spirit’ or fall over. They have the best intentions (most of the time) but they often can get over zealous and actually do more harm than good. I can’t tell you how many teens I’ve talked to who have left the church because one of these guys got a hold of them. Putting a stop to such things takes guts… and it’s embarrassing for both parties… but it’s the right and responsible thing to do. Better to hurt the feelings of an adult (and in the process, disciple them) than to turn a child off to the things of God forever. I do not believe that spiritual people lose control of their own actions.

The time your children spend with their God is powerful and needs to be protected and shepherded. I hope this article has been a help. If so, or if you have any tips you’ve picked up that will help our readers… post them in the comments.

Now your days of lollygagging are over! We’ve got our very own vanity (which is a sin) number. So if you use it… you’re by default guilty of (vanity) as well.

(218) MONTHLY

or (218) 666-8459

I’m thinking that’s going to pretty easy to remember and use. Why not call and say hello, ask a question, give a ministry update, share a resource? We’ll play it on the next Children’s Ministry Monthly Podcast!

Bus Ministry is a great place to learn a lot… hard and fast. You make a lot of mistakes… and you ask a lot of internal questions… and it challenges the living crizzle out of your beliefs and makes you wonder if it’s worth it at all.

Once I remember questioning whether pulling a kid out of their situation for only a couple of hours a week was actually doing any good for them at all. I was explaining to God how they’re bombarded with family issues, inner-city pressures, peer-pressure like you’ve never seen… how was my little song-n-dance once a week going to provide any help… especially for those who didn’t half listen?

God told me—I must stop here for a moment and make sure you understand that when I say “God Told Me”, that it works like this: I get a really excellent idea in my mind that I know in a million years would never come from my own jacked up, over functioning brain—flatly”:

“When you’re in a fire… any moment you’re not burning is a great moment.”

I knew exactly what He was telling me. These kids were in the worst of situations… and though I was questioning our effectiveness, God was making it clear that every moment they were free from that situation was a precious, precious time for them. It helped me so much. Suddenly I saw their hyperactivity in a new light. They were excited to just be kids for once. They were getting a chance to play, a chance to connect with adults who truly cared about them as people. I wasn’t allowed to downplay any of the time we spent with them after that.

This concept doesn’t only apply to Bus Ministry… but to any ministry to children. Sure, we only get them a few hours a week… assuming they come every time the doors are open… but that time is precious. Especially from God’s point of view. Even if all we did was play with our kids rather than teach, for some of them it would be the most spiritually refreshing moments in their week. Experiencing God’s unconditional love in a safe, accepting environment should be the foundation of every children’s ministry experience.

Below are a collection of articles I’ve written on the subject. I hope you fill find them useful.

• How I Podcast
• My Podast Setup: Home Edition
• How I Podcast 2009 Version
• How To Get Your Podcast Online
• 6 tips For Starting A Hobby Podcast
• 7 Ways To Convince Your Wife To Podcast
• 50 Podcast Resources I Use Every Week

If you have further questions, feel free to contact me. I’d love to help you get started.

For example, I have a Facebook account (http://facebook.com/nlcast). I have a lot of ‘friends’ that I am connected with. While many of these folks are people I know in real life (church, family, old high school friends) there are a lot more who are listeners to one of my podcasts or who I’ve met through kids camps, speaking engagements or other children’s ministry social networks.

So Social Networks are a great way to connect to people you know and folks you’d like to know better. Facebook is a free service. Signing up is simple. It’ll lead you through the entire process including helping you find (real) friends instantly by searching your address book (optional).

How can you use Social Networking for ministry? When used correctly I liken these services to hanging out with other ministers at lunch during a kid’s conference. The kind of lunch where you’re just hanging out, swapping stories and resources… having a laugh. Especially if you use a network specifically designed for children’s ministers.

CMConnect.org is one such network. It is my favorite because it costs absolutely nothing to use because it is ad supported and the staff seems to have a real heart for connecting cm leaders. It’s like a private MySpace where you have a profile that tells a little about you. You can connect with other ministers by becoming ‘friends’ with them. There are forums, groups to join based on interests… it’s an excellent resource. Check it out and friend me at http://www.cmconnect.org/profile/JamesKennison and join the CMMonthly Group at: http://www.cmconnect.org/group/cmmonthly

One trick I have is linking my Twitter account to my Facebook so that when I update Twitter, it posts as an update to Facebook too.  (here’s how) Notice I didn’t mention anything about using MySpace. MySpace is a huge mess… stay away!!!

“Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read each others’ updates, known as tweets. Tweets are text-based posts of up to 140 characters, displayed on the author’s profile page and delivered to other users – known as followers – who have subscribed to them. Senders can restrict delivery to those in their circle of friends or, by default, allow open access.”

If you didn’t get all that… Twitter allows you to let people know what’s going on in your world and allows you to ‘follow’ what other people are saying about theirs.

Why Twitter?

Twitter can be really useful for children’s ministers. For example… the other day I was hunting for something I needed for kids camp. I ‘tweeted’:

Does anyone know where I can find those water balloon launchers made from surgical tubing? #kidmin

That update went out to over 1000 people who follow me. Soon I was getting all kinds of answers… and eventually I got the answer I needed. Another children’s pastor in the area had a couple I could borrow. I went by and picked them up from him yesterday.

Notice that I added “#kidmin” to the end of my ‘tweet’. That’s called a hashtag. A hashtag is another name for a keyword. In Twitter you can use hashtags to label the topic of your tweets. There are people using Twitter that follow topics more than individual people so when I added the #kidmin even more people got my tweet than would have otherwise. You can also follow keywords too and see what people are saying about children’s ministry.

How To Twitter?

Go to http://twitter.com and sign-up. Make sure to bookmark the site so you can use it again later. You need to add a profile picture, add your name, website or blog… then you can start updating using the provided form. You’ll also want to find people to follow. Here are some great folks that I suggest who are involved in kids ministry.

• http://twitter.com/tmckeever
• http://twitter.com/pudgehuckaby
• http://twitter.com/samluce
• http://twitter.com/cmconnect
• http://twitter.com/pastorjk – ME!

I suggest you download a Desktop Client, which is a fancy term for being able to use twitter like you would Instant Messaging right on your computer.

Here are a few great Desktop Clients:

• Twhirl
• TweetDeck
• Destroy Twitter

If you have any questions, email me or post them in the comments.

First things first! Some Definitions:

• A Blog is a made-up name that comes from a merging of two other word. Web and Log: Weblog – shortened to just blog. Basically it’s another name for a webpage. Someone who writes a blog is called a “blogger”.
• RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication. You’ll hear most folks refer to it as an RSS Feed or just a Feed. Blog readers (you) can ‘subscribe’ to an RSS Feed using a Feed Reader (such as Google Reader) and whenever a blog is updated, the new article will appear in the feed.
• A Feed Reader is a service that collects new articles from RSS Feeds that you subscribe to. It enables you to quickly see new posts from all of your favorite websites without having to visit each one. It’s like your own personal newspaper.
• Subscribing to an RSS Feed means that you have added that feed to your reader and will now receive updates from that site automatically. There is no cost or fee involved with subscribing to a feed.

Here’s how to get started:

1. Visit Google Reader and set up an account if you don’t have one already. Be sure to bookmark Google Reader so you can find it again.
2. Click the Add a Subscription button and type in the web address (http://whatever.com) of your favorite blog. Google Reader will search the site for it’s RSS Feed and subscribe you. Alternatively, if you go to the blog and see a link labeled RSS Feed or Subscribe you can click on it and add it to your reader or cut and paste the feed URl into Google Reader.
3. That’s It! You should see the latest 10 posts from your entry listed in your reader. Posts will be shown as ‘unread’ until you scroll past or click on them. You can mark entries with a star or keep them unread. This way you can refer to them quickly later if you wish.

Here are a list of CM Blogs to get you going:

• Children’s Ministry Monthly – RSS Feed
• SamLuce.com – RSS Feed
• Kid Inspiration – RSS Feed
• Children’s Minister Blog – RSS Feed
• Children’s Ministry & Culture – RSS Feed
• The Thursday Blog – RSS Feed
• Just Pudge – RSS Feed
• Kidologist – RSS Feed
• PhilVischer – RSS Feed

Note: It surprises me how many of these sites did not have their RSS Feed linked to at all! Remember, you can usually enter the URl into Google Reader and it will find the feed for you.

What are your favorite CM Blogs? Post yours in the comments and share them with the other readers and myself!