Buttercuppity

In which I discuss the Importance of Bikes in a Zombie Apocalypse.

2012-06-06T13:47:00.004-07:00

I try to avoid watching the news, as doing so usually gives me ridiculous panic attacks and led to a year-long worrying spell in which I was CONVINCED I had bird flu, but it's been difficult to avoid the Zombie face-eating death stories all over the place, as it is all my English 102 students will talk about.

This upsurge in people-eating incidents, The Walking Dead, Game of Thrones and my own ridiculous over-eager imagination led me to think about a Zombie Apocalypse occured. I decided that if it came, I needed to be prepared.

With a bike.

Let me explain: In The Walking Dead and other zombie movies, people always have to go searching and scavenging for gas in cars that got left by the gazillions of freeways when the zombies came in to eat everyone's brains and faces. NO GOOD COMES OF GAS SCAVENGING.

A bike, on the other hand, is self-powered - hence, it needs to gas. You can go pretty damn fast on a bike, thus escaping the zombies if necessary. In order to fight off those pesky quick zombies, though, you'd need protection.

This is what I came up with:

This is me, with my bike. I know my drawing skills are pretty magnificent, so you probably don't need an explanation, but the red things are a series of side-mounted SWORDS. Of TITANIUM - light and powerful. They stick out and UP from the bike. The low sword cuts off the heads of the short zombies, while the tall sword will deal with the larger ones. You could totally have swords MOUNTED ON BOTH SIDES for extra zombie-killing power.

This idea, when mentioned to my husband, was met with much derision. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Honey! Look at my Zombie Apocalypse bike prototype!

Captain Hotpants: ...Silence. Horror. Confusion...

Me: It's a bike! With swords! there's a low sword for short zombies and a high sword for taller zombies!

CPH: That would never work. You would cut off your head off.

Me: It would TOTALLY work! I'd just have to the the angle of the swords right, and if I perfected it I could probably have them swinging around in some kind of arc or something to kill in a 360-degree circle. And there would be NO SCAVENGING FOR GAS.

CPH: A scooter would be better. You wouldn't even need swords.

Me: But that would defeat the purpose of the self- power and the no scavenging.

CPH: A motorcycle would be even better. You could just drive away.

Me: But what about the swords? How would you kill the zombies?

CPH: You wouldn't need to kill the zombies. You could outrun them.

Me: You don't understand this AT ALL.

CPH: I think I do. I think YOU are mad because I made your idea better. And because I saved you from cutting off your own head.

And then I glowered at him angrily for about five minutes and checked Facebook, where some of my friends and my daughter told me that I would probably end up cutting of my arms. UNSUPPORTIVE.

They will all be TOTALLY JEALOUS when my pink zombie-bike SAVES LIVES. The end.

In which I discuss Meatloaf and my education (the singer, not the food)

2012-05-26T17:32:00.003-07:00

I was reading a blog the other day in which the MOST. DREADFUL. SONG. EVER. was mentioned (and I won't repeat it here, for fear that it will, like it did with me, get stuck in your head FOREVAH, but it was sung by HEART and it's HORRRRRRRRRIBLE and it doesn't even make any fucking sense - walked in a garden??? Planted a tree?? WHATTTTTT?????). If you are interested, it's over at Smart Bitches. Check it at your own risk.

I realized that having an M.A. in English makes me truly qualified to do only one thing: annotating useless shit. Even better, I get to thrown meaningless "critical theory" at whatever I want! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

And so, dear everyone, I'm going to annotate the hell out of another horrible song that makes no sense, and throw some theory at it, in an attempt to bring some much-needed clarity to a tune that truly needs it: Meatloaf's I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That). Hmph. Even the stupid title is problematic. That's him in the picture. Clearly, a creepy dude, although I saw in in a phone commercial last night and he looked normal. Which makes the song even more awful.

Here it goes:

And I would do anything for love,

I'd run right into hell and back,

First problem: Why would love require you to run to hell? Who are you dating?

I would do anything for love,

I'll never lie to you and that's a fact.

But what if you are lying right now? He sounds shady. Hey, is this my ex?

But I'll never forget the way you feel right now,

oh no, no way,

Hmm. Feel how? Emotionally? Physically? Does she feel lumpy? So confusing?

And I would do anything for love,

But I won't do that, No I won't do that.

Won't do what? Feel her anymore? Because you sound retarded and gross and she probably doesn't want you to touch her anymore.

And some days it don't come easy,

EWWWWWW! Too much! So many comments my head might explode! BWAAAHAHAH!

And some days it don't come hard,

Oh, see, here is your problem. Erectile Dysfunction. Now the song takes on new meaning.

Some days it don't come at all,

Maybe you should talk to you doctor about Cialis, and then you and she can sit naked in two bathtubs on a hill outside with no visible source of water and hold hands.

and these are the days that never end,

Perhaps the Cialis resulted in one of the never-ending erections. See? Looking at the song with a "Penis is Broken" lense, it makes much more sense. I shall call this new critical theory "The Busted Pecker" theory. It will revolutionize the way people interpret literature. And song lyrics.

And some nights you're breathing fire,

Huh. Why? Are you a dragon?

And some nights you're carved in ice,

Who - you or the girl? Is she really an ice sculpture and that is the problem? When you try to approach her with your busted member, there is shrinkage???

Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again,

Like a one-time viewing of a kinkaju at the zoo??

And maybe I'm crazy,

Ya think?

Oh it's crazy and it's true,

I agree. Sing it hard, Meatloaf.

I know you can save me,

no one else can save me now but you.

How? Why? Is she like the Wonder Twins, and only when you yell "WONDER TWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE" can anything cool happen, but she is the one who is doomed to being the stupid form-of-water dope and that's why she's an ice sculpture? And then can you turn into animals? Because you do sort of look like a Manatee. In a good way, of course.

As long as the planets are turning,

I am pretty sure it still is. Yes, so you'll love her forever blabla bla. Hey, how do ice sculptures have sex?

As long as the stars are burning,

blaaaaaaahhhh

As long as your dreams are coming true,

Uh.... if she's an ice sculpture with a busted-dick boyfriend, I seriously doubt her dreams are coming true.

you better believe it!

Blaaaaahhhhhhh

And I would do anything for love,

Oh, I would do anything for love,

Oh, I would do anything for love,

But I won't do that,No, I won't do that.

Wait a minute. Just hold on here. If you are the WONDER TWINS and you love her but with the ice/dick problem... AAAAACCCCCCKKK!!!! GROSS! THIS SONG IS ABOUT INCEST! THAT'S WHAT HE CAN'T DO! OH GOD! THIS SONG IS EVEN WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!!

I would do anything for love,

Oh, I feel sick

Anything you've been dreaming of,

It's like a fucking V.C. Andrews novel

But I just won't do that

Yes you would.

And some days I pray for silence,

I pray for your silence too... Oh, seriously... so nauseous

And some days I pray for soul,

Like, having a soul, a having "soul"? Because I kind of think you probably won't ever have the latter? You just aren't that cool. Neither am I, but I don't pray for it. Who do you pray to for "soul"? Barry White?

Some days I just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll,

OH, Okay. So yes, you do pray to Barry White. And possibly Bon Jovi and Led Zeppelin.

And maybe I'm lonely,

Well, duh. You love your sister and have ED. Problems, dude. SERIOUS PROBLEMS. Dr. Phil would be ALL OVER your ass.

That's all I'm qualified to be,

Clearly you are also qualified to be a member of soem strage cult.

There's just one and only, one and only promise I can keep.

Whaaaaaat on earth could this promise be? I have no idea!

As long as the wheels are turning,

What wheels? Because my wheels are spinning like a freaking YOYO right now.

As long as the fires are burning,

Like the fire in your busted SATAN CROTCH?

As long as your prayers are coming true,

Wait, wait, wait - prayers to who? Barry White? Satan Crotch?

You better believe it!

I don't wanna believe any of this.

That I would do anything for love,

Ohhh, THAT promise. I was worried before that I would NEVER GUESS THE PROMISE.

And you know it's true and that's a fact,

Dooooo you? I suspect him of lying. I think he's also saying this to your archrival, the other WONDERTWIN BROTHER. So I guess that would make you WONDERTRIPLETS.

And I would do anything for love,

Watch your back, you poor ice-sculpture-doomed-to-no-sex-with-anyone-not-even-your-brother girl.

And there'll never be no turning back

Well, no. Probably not. I saw a couple like this on Dateline NBC. You probably could end up there.

But I'll never do it better than I do it with you,

Just spit my Chai tea on my keyboard.

so long, so long,

I think he's awfully optimistic and delusional about his busted weiner.

And I would do anything for love,

Oh, I would do anything for love,

Yea, we know.

I would do anything for love,

Make it stop! Oh, God, THE HORROR!

But I won't do that, No, no, no, I won't do that.

Don't deny it, man!

[Girl] -what??? she has a voice? Ice Sculpture SPEAKS!!!

Will you raise me up, will you help me down?

Oh. She's clearly on a table at a party, in the shape of a swan. And now she wants him to move her? Perhaps put her on the back of his rockin' Harley?

Will you get me right out of this godforsaken town?

That will probably be necessary because everyone knows you are brother and sister, and of course, you need to escape the other Wonder Brother.

Will you make it all a little less cold?

Bwaaaahahahahahaha! She's so totally a swan sculpture!! She's FREEZIN! Don't get too warm, or you'll melt all over your LOVER BROTHER!

[Boy]I can do that! I can do that!

Sounds like a panting dog. We should rename him Fido.

[Girl] Will you cater to every fantasy I got?

What fantasies to swan-ice-sculpture incestuous girls have? I was feeling so sorry for her, and she's just as messed up as he is. So sad. I though she was a victim of bad circumstances, but no....

Will ya hose me down with holy water, if I get too hot?

Oh GAWD. OH NOOOOO - too awful - so many horrid things I can comment on right now that I cannot choose just one. Maybe he should just put her in a freezer. Maybe they just both get put in the freezer.

Will you take me places I've never known?

Like Poughkeepsie? Or Pocatello? Maybe the Mormon Ranch in Texas would be the most appropriate place for these two.

[Boy] Now I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

Down, boy.

[Girl] I know the territory, I've been around,

Slutty ice sculpture. Probably slept around at every wedding she's been at.

It'll all turn to dust and we'll all fall down,

What will turn to dust? You will turn to WATER. Is this some incomprehensible allusion to The Wastel Lnd that nobody can understand? What's going to turn to dust? Help me out here!! Is the other WonderBrother a wood chainsaw sculpture, as seen on the back roads of rural Idaho? Is he lying in a pile of his own dust?

Sooner or later, you'll be screwing around.

Do you have another sister you haven't mentioned before??? Maybe she's the one in a pile of dust. Or maybe she doesn't enjoy housework.

[Boy] I won't do that! No, I won't do that!

Seriously, he's a freaking dog. Like a big stupid Lab.

Anything for love, Oh, I would do anything for love,

I would do anything for love, But I won't do that.

Oh man. You both would do it. You know you would.

I need to go take a shower now. In a nutshell, the song CLEARLY is about a man and an ice sculpture sister with a sexual and existential crisis going on, with themes of incest, motorcycles, and Barry White sprinkled liberally throughout. I'm so glad my $80,000 of student loans have served such a useful purpose. :)

I'm BACKKKKKKKKKK, and also some stuff about assholes.

2011-07-09T14:02:00.000-07:00

Well, hello there. :)

It's been awhile, yes? I'm sorry. I needed some time away. And then I forgot I had a blog, because, you know, in addition to needing time away I am also a wee bit of an idiot. In good news, my fine friends, I am much, much better. I've lost lots of weight. I walk a lot, and I still hate it. :) I haven't made anything for a long time, but I've been focusing on loads of other things so that okay. The shop is completely closed but I have the most fantastic studio which I don't use for sewing, but which I do hang out in with my cat (you know, BUTTERCUP!) and do my job.

Oh, yeah! I do new stuff now - freelance writing, teaching English to poor college students who have to hear stories about squirrels and cats... lots of new things. All good stuff. But I'm ready to dive back into blog land, as long as people promise not to be assholes. To that end, I'm enforcing a strict "NO ASSHOLE" policy, spurred on by this glorious quotation my friend Annemarie sent me after a particularly bad day in which I had a near meltdown due to a situation involving popsicles, stupid men, Starbucks and a slow computer:

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
– William Gibson

Disclaimer: I have no idea if this is a "true" quotation or not. I tried to look it up and I couldn't find it, so I don't know if this dude said it or not. But who cares? It's still awesome. : )

It would seem I took a little fall break...

2010-10-12T12:45:00.000-07:00

Well, look at that. I haven't written in agazillion years. I don't really know why - sometimes I think life just kind of guides you along to what you need to be doing, and I think I needed a break to sort of reorganize. Blablabla, that sounds like an Oprah special or something, but it's true!

So I will get caught up with the ghost stories and more, but I needed to figure a few things out. I don't know if it's evident or not in my blog posts, but this whole health thing/closing down the shop left me a wee bit out of sorts. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? What is my goal now? I've always been very goal and purpose oriented, and now my goals and purpose are kind of, well, gone. And do I have the emotional reserved to rebuild them? I don't know. I feel lost, and I think I've been going through some kind of midlife crisis. I have NOT purchases a sports car, but I am seriously considering that pink Vespa.

I'm normally pretty cheerful, but this "Hey, you're in danger of a stroke!!" thing has led to a series of other issues - like panic attacks in which I though I was having a heart attack, but I wasn't, so no worries - which have just kind of knocked me over. And closing the business has um, altered our income, which means that paying our mortgage is a fun game of "HOLY CRAP" every month. It's getting much better, it's just been a period of adjustment that goes like this : Possible death - panic attack - mortgage due - panic attack - and so on.

Good news - my health is so much better. The human body is amazing! I have a long way to go, but I'm down about 30ish pounds and I'm a LOT healthier just with that small number. Things I still need to work on - stress management and these stupid panic attacks. I'm working on it, it's just been slowwwww. And in the meantime, Buttercuppity and the blog have completely fallen to the wayside. So I am sorry, and I'm back now. :) Illustrated ghost stories coming soon! And a few fun announcements! :)

Captain Hotpants down AGAIN - OH NOESSSS! And BUTTERCUPPITY GHOST TALES, Part 1.

2010-09-08T17:28:00.000-07:00

Oh. Well apparently it be Wednesday,and I was supposed to start the "Ghost Stories" series yesterday. HOWEVAH it would appear that Captain Hotpants sprung himself a new hernia, not unlike the hernia of yore, sometime on Monday - so yesterday was full of Dr. appointments and whisperings of surgical fun and games.

WHOO. HOO.

If you were reading last year, you may remember that the last hernia did NOT END WELL and caused quite a ruckus in Livingston, Montana causing us to drive home at O'DARK THIRTY in the morning for emergency surgery. And Captain Hotpants was on medical leave for a month, and then was promptly laid off the DAY he returned from medical leave because his former employer (and my former employer as well) are douchenozzles.

(To be fair, the Captain and I are much happier now that we no longer work for said douchenozzles, so it all turned out in the end - but seriously. They suck.)

Anywayz, that's what we're doing. Getting ultrasounds of uncomfortable dude areas. Poor Captain Hotpants, although I don't feel too bad for him because I got an MRI on my HEAD and was told to take off all my clothes and put on a gown (Why?? Why take off all your clothes for an MRI on your brain??), and the techs were all sitting in this glass enclosure by my feet, and I forgot at the end that I was - you know - totally not wearing any underwear and I may or may not have totally flashed all the techs when I quickly and efficiently jumped off the MRI table in a robust, overzealous gown-opening fashion.

But I digress, as usual. You came here to here about GHOSTS, right? Right.

So this will be ghost story #1 of many, because there are many. MANY!

Our shop was in an AMAZING old building that used to be the Steamplant in Spokane - providing all the power for the entire city. We would go on to later find out the ghosties abound in this place, but when we moved in we had no idea. None. So we had this cool big space, and no idea there were possible ghosts.

The first time I remember anything truly bizarre happening - and there had been some small things, but not anything major, just strange door slams and voices - was before we had the classroom open. The main two rooms were open for business, but the classroom was a pit of doom that we were working on getting ready (not unlike my current studio! Hey! There is hope!).

My daughter, Sassypants, was in the classroom with her friend Renee, working on putting away some fabric and reorganizing some furniture. Captain Hotpants and I were in the hallway outside both of our offices, which has a view of the entire store and both entrances. We hear the classroom door shut, and heard Marina mutter something about "an old lady."

Captain Hotpants was intrigued and puzzled, as there was nobody in the shop - certainly not an old lady - so he went to see what was going on. Sassypants (aka Marina, as seen in the pic above), was having a good time cleaning (no really, she is a weird kid that way - she like to organize and clean - how lucky am I??) and Michael asked her why she shut the door, to whcih she replied - "There was a customer out there - an older lady."

"No, no there wasn't," said Michael.

"Ummmm, YES, there was! I saw her just a second ago!" said Marina.

"Ummmm, no - really, there is nobody out there," I said.

Marina then waltzed out into the main part of the shop and looked around - you know, to prove us wrong because that is the most awesome thing to do in the world when you are 17.

And there was nobody there.

"But... but... I saw her. She was an old lady. MOM, THERE WAS AN OLD LADY HERE JUST A MINUTE AGO!" said (exclaimed? shouted?) Marina.

Michael and I had been standing there so we knew there was no old lady in the shop - nobody in the shop, actually. And we knew this to be doubly true because THE DOORS WERE LOCKED UP. And the BLINDS WERE CLOSED, so we can't even blame it on reflections.

And then Renee came out and said that she saw the old lady too.

Which caused Michael and I to look like this:

I don't really believe in ghosts, but I am a fan of Ghosthunters and, of course, Harry Potter, so in the spirit of seeing Dementors, I immediately started eating chocolate in the form of cookies.

Marina, upon hearing that there was no old lady went from looking like her normal self:

to this:

I must tell you that she just walked over here and saw this and it SO HAPPY that I am posting this picture. Hehehehehe.

Anyway - that was the day that it started. And that night, things started moving of their own accord. More on that tomorrow, and possible reenactment video of me finding a MANNEQUIN MOVED ACROSS THE ROOM. BY ITSELF. Maybe. :)

Plans - HAHAHAHA

2010-09-03T12:09:00.000-07:00

Hey, you know how I said I would reopen our online fabric shop on August 25th to sell off our remaining inventory? Because, you know, I would be all finished moving and organizing by then, and would, OF COURSE, have my studio all set up and ready to go?

HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAA.

That, my bloggy friends, did not happen. Not even a little bit, and this is why.

My studio is supposed to look sort of like this, but nice:

My vision for the studio involves lovely green bins and baskets filled with yummy things - all neatly tucked away into their proper spots. Ummm. It's not quite there yet. In fact, it looks more like this:

So I am sorry. To be quite honest with you, the piles of boxes have completely overtaken the whole room, and I'm not sure exactly where all the leftover fabric is, although I THINK it may be under a large pile of boxes in the lower left hand corner. I think? We have quite a bit left, so I do promise that it will be FANTASTIC once I get things unpacked and organized. I'm working on it, I swear - it's just a weeeeee bit more involved than I thought. I'm also trying to balance this between nearly daily visits to the "get healthy" doc, which is pretty intense, and moving out of the shop took more time than I thought it would!

Speaking of moving out... it was hard. Ugh. Very, very hard. I came home and watched a marathon of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" and then the RHONJ reunion, and felt much better about things because OMGOMGOMGOMG, those women are CRAZAZY. They make me feel slightly normal! Does anyone else watch this show, because I should feel ashamed, I guess, about watching it but I LOVE IT. I can't stop. And nobody else I know watches it, and I am dying for a RHONJ gossip buddy.

In other news, starting on Tuesday, I will be posting a series of our Ghost Tales on this blog. Our old location was totally haunted, and I don't even really believe in ghosts. So the stories will begin on Tuesday, starting with the tale of the old lady. CREEPY and awesome.

And - my health has already improved, ya'll. :) Small steps, but I'm now allowed to walk unsupervised, which means I can walk around my town - YAYYY! :)

Hope you are all having a GREAT weekend - so looking forward to it! Craving some family time. :)

The 7 Stages of Buttercuppity Grief (THE ILLUSTRATED VERSION!!)

2010-08-23T21:17:00.000-07:00

Deciding to close the shop was not easy, and it's been a journey. I *think* I am coming out on the other side of this journey, but it's been a long few weeks - and I've been through all SEVEN stages of grief, although at first I thought there were 12 stages but apparently I am mixing up the stages of grief and a 12-step program (although I could TOTALLY use a 12-step program for my addiction to cupcakes and ice cream. DUDE. I should start that.)

What else to do, then, than to share an illustrated (and HIGH QUALITY ILLUSTRATIONS, YO) version of these stages? You are WELCOME.

STAGE ONE: Shock and Denial
When I first found out what was going on, I was obviously in shock. Yeah, and denial - both of which resulted in me saying ridiculous things to my doctor and MRI guy, like "ARE YOU F***ING KIDDING ME??" No, they calmly replied. They were not kidding. This was not a joke. I was sick from being too fat. YAYYYY. Yayyy for my fatness. Argh. I had a choice to make, because this condition was not going to get better and I would and could end up, sooner rather than later, blind or I could have a stroke, and it was a matter of when - not if. Yayyy again.

This lasted for a few days, which consisted of me walking around spouting off the general ridiculousness of doctors, MRI machines, fat, brains, and humanity. In that order. And I also ate a lot of ice cream, because when you are told that you are killing yourself due to your fatness, the most rational thing to do is, of course, to drown your sorrows in heavy cream. And then I had to make some decisions.

STAGE TWO: Pain and Guilt
After talking with my family, my doctors, and a few wonderful, amazing, supportive friends, the decision was quite clear - I couldn't concentrate on my health while working so much at the shop. We decided to close. That sounds like an easy decision, of course, but I don't think anyone who wasn't in on this decision-making process will ever know how much I agonized over this. The pain of closing my happy pink shop? Overwhelming. The absolute guilt of disappointing so many wonderful customers who have trusted me with their stories and sewing victories and small parts of their lives? Even more overwhelming. This was not a good time for me.

STAGE THREE: Anger and Bargaining
A few days of the pain and guilt led to complete and utter anger and disgust at myself. ANGER, people. I was furious that my weight - that thing, that stupid horrible THING that has always managed to get the best of me - was causing this. I don't know how this works for other people, but for me, WEIGHT is like it's own entity, separate from me and causing all kinds of problems. My archnemesis? WEIGHT. And she's a BITCH, and I hate her. So, yeah... anger at my weight and the situation, and bargaining with myself and with God and with cupcakes and with anything else I could think of. Again, a bad few days.

STAGE 4: Reflection and Loneliness (or ALL ABOARD THE DEPRESSION EXPRESS - WHEE!!)
And yet another few days. I'm really not very good at being depressed, so this lasted for a few days - I get sick of myself pretty quick when I'm in a funk. I knew that I had to close the shop, but these were the days when I realized that I had to let go of this part of the Buttercuppity dream, and that was sad. So I walked around in pajamas for a few days, just sad. I also watched the entire series of The Forsyte Saga (parts 1 and 2!) because that is my "sad" tv watching. (I have a strict M.O regarding depression and tv watching. Relationship sadness = Sex & The City + Bridget Jones. Family sadness = Anne of Green Gables (only the first two, though, because I didn't like the last one). Any other sadness = any BBC historical miniseries)

And then... STAGE 5 : The Upward Turn
It gets exhausting being depressed, and finally, slowly - with the help of my most amazing husband, Captain Hotpants, and the rest of my wonderful family and great friends, that this was the right thing to do and probably the Universe's way of helping me get in shape and get healthy so I could be around for my family for a long time. And once I got that, the whole idea became much easier (although grief is strange, and I kept going back and forth between this stage and the sadness of Stage 4). I changed out of my jammies and started to understand that the future was still pretty amazing, just a bit different-looking than I had thought it would be. :)

(PS, Buttercup is my cat. I am a crazy cat lady. :) And yes, Buttercuppity was named after her!)

STATE 6: Reconstruction
Whenever I am in a time of crisis, this is, undoubtedly, one of my best phases. I am a planner. I LOVE making plans! And lists! And new goals! WHEEEE! I also become quite annoying during this time, quoting Dumbledore at every possible turn (because why WOULDN'T you quote Dumbledore?? It's not like he's FICTIONAL or anything!!) and generally making my friends and family quite crazy with the whole "WORLD OF INFINITE POSSIBILITY!!!" mode I am in. It is quite possible that I come up with Powerpoint Presentations and charts during this time. And I very often curl my hair.

YAYYY for Reconstruction!!

And, STAGE 7: Acceptance and Hope

Yeah, this is my favorite of the stages. I DO NOT like stages 1-4. Stage 7 is good, although I still get a wee bit wistful at times. I had to get here before I made the scary big announcement, and still... grief is weird. I do slip back into the other stages from time to time, but it's more manageable. I've accepted this new twist in life, and I'm ready to move on to the next stage of Buttercuppity (and it's GOOD - oh, the things that are in the works! I cannot wait to share!!). And I'm so excited and hopeful for the future - for a healthy, positive, delicious future. :) And before the crazy comments and emails, I am certainly NOT comparing this in any way to the death of a loved one... but for me, it's a big part of me - years of dreams and hopes in the making - that I had to let go. So there is grieving. But it's going to be okay. In fact, it's going to be fantastic. :)

3 years...

2010-08-13T22:09:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time,

there was a girl who was reasonably happy. She wasn't a princess, or a fairy, or anything super special - she was actually a college student with the two most amazing children in the world!! - but she had the most amazing family in the entire world.

One day,while she was minding her own business, she met the Most Amazing Man In The Universe. Actually, she saw him from afar at her children's choir concert and felt like she got hit on the side of the head with a shovel (in a good way, of course).

And that was the beginning of Ari + Captain Hotpants. :)

3 years ago (yesterday), this kind, caring, compassionate, FUNNY, loving superhero man actually married me. ME! And he has, every day since, cared for me and Sassypants and Monkeyface as if we were his own, because, in his eyes, we are. :)

...and they lived happily (and silly-ly) ever after.

An Update and Sale Info

2010-08-10T17:52:00.000-07:00

A few things!

I would like to thank so many of you who have been so kind to me and my entire family during this very difficult time. Closing the fabric portion of Buttercuppity has been one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make. Your kindness and nice words and support of us are just amazing!

There are some questions that have come up, so I'm going to reiterate the "fine print" from our closing sale and answer a couple more.

Questions that I've heard many times over the past few days:

Why are you closing the shop instead of selling it or allowing someone to run it?
Closing the fabric side of the business was a difficult decision, and we pondered this question ourselves quite a bit. However, and this may be a bit selfish on my part, Buttercuppity is very much a part of who I am. Walking into the shop - you saw everything you will ever need to know about me. I poured my heart and soul into the shop, and it would feel so strange allowing anyone else to run it. In addition, I am under doctor's orders to relieve stress right away - I would worry and worry and worry about my little shop and I would try to do too much and I would start popping in every day, and I would stay, and I would want to help everyone and I would be in the same position I'm in right now. I know myself too well. :)

Why didn't you sell the shop outright?
Lots of people have asked this. I didn't sell the shop for many of the reasons above. I am selling off the fabric side of the business to all you wonderful people, but I am keeping the heart and soul of the business - the name, the brand, the handmade side, and the intellectual property that goes with it. These are all created with my hands, my heart, and are a part of me. They will never be for sale. :) I am also going to continue, when I am better, to work on this side of the business. :) I was shocked to have FIVE offers from people wanting to buy the Buttercuppity brand since we made the announcement. :)

If you have excess fluid in your head, can't you just take diuretics? If the cure is weight loss, can't you get Gastric Bypass?

The excess fluid I have in my brain is cerebrospinal fluid. Ways to relieve it are a lumbar puncture, some risky drugs, or a shunt. We are looking at all these options. The "cure" is weight loss.

Gastric Bypass is not an option for me. We are small business owners who, like many other small business owners, have very, verrrrry basic health insurance.   Gastric Bypass isn't covered, and I am also a very determined person. I am very confident I can lose the weight I need and am committed to it. :) I can accomplish quite a bit when I set my mind to it! Keep watching the blog - I promise you, I will be successful in my new endeavor!

Sale Details

Everything must go! I will not be lowering prices any more. My goal is to break even, not lose money.
You can shop online or in our Spokane shop - prices are the same in both places.
If you have purchased from Buttercuppity Fabric recently, please understand that no refunds will be given on those purchases.
Shipping is based on the regular price of fabric - not the sale price. No shipping discount will be given.
Sales can cause some craziness. If, for some reason, there is a bolt or fabric shortage, I will fill your order with the fabric I do have and will refund your money via Paypal.
I expect some shipping delays. Please be patient!
Due to the volume of orders, we cannot accomodate custom orders or fabric quantity questions right now. I am so sorry!!
Shipping on Etsy can be bizarre, and this is an issue with Etsy - not with me. Should you be overcharged for shipping (which happens all the time when you order multiple items), I will refund the excess when your items ships.

A quick note: Sending me emails laced with profanity or calling me on the phone and yelling at me or swearing will not change any of the above. I promise.

We didn't expect to have such a huge influx of orders - THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! We will be very, very busy for the next week. We had originally thought we would be open for 2 weeks after the announcement of our closing. Looks like we will be sold out much, much sooner than that!

We did keep the Spokane shop shut today so we could tend to the massive amounts of orders we've gotten. It is incredibly important to me to make sure we keep this as fair to everyone as possible, and that we have the fabric allotted to those who have already ordered and paid for those orders. I love all of our customers SO MUCH that I really, really do not want to let anyone down. Having people in the shop buying fabric that was already sold would be grossly unfair, I think, so we took the day to get things organized and situated. I apologize to those who were expecting us to be open - we expected to be open ourselves - but in the interest of being fair, I am convinced it was the right thing to do!

The Spokane shop will be open tomorrow, from 10 to 4. There are some great things left that I didn't get to list online, so please come in. I would love to see you and say goodbye! We have some fantastic things still left - the chairs from our classroom that everyone drools over, shelves, retro and antique sewing machines, fixtures, patterns, and, of course, FABRIC! There is a ton more, as well.

Tomorrow will be the last day that the shop is open, for I fear we will have nothing left! :) If you have any questions, please let me know! Thank you again for all of your support. :)

WOW! Thank you!

2010-08-10T09:05:00.000-07:00

Wow! Thank you so much!! We sold out of half of our stock within 3 hours of the announcement. :) Please note that THE SPOKANE STORE WILL BE CLOSED TODAY so we can catch up on orders and make sure that we get everything processed.

For those in Spokane that ordered and want to pick up in the shop, we will be open tomorrow at 10am! Your orders should be ready then! :) Please email me directly - ari [at] buttercuppity.com if you have any questions. :)

I have LOTS more to say and I will, but first, we need to get these orders out!!! Much, much love to you.

And now, for something COMPLETELY different...

2010-08-08T11:23:00.000-07:00

Oh, this is the blog post I have been dreading. Buttercuppity Fabric - the online shop and our Spokane brick & mortar shop - is clearing out all inventory and ceasing operations.

There. It's out. I'll let that sink in for a minute.

I know many of you, especially (I would bet) the customers who come to the shop are wondering why. The shop is always crazy busy, right? I know. I've had many thoughts about how much I would share, but I have always been very open about my life, so I'm going to be open here as well!

The shop - both online and our brick & mortar - have exceeded our expectations like crazy. In this economic downturn in which we started the business, we have had nothing but great success. I think that makes this all the harder. Our customers are fantastic and SO supportive, making this shop - which is my dream - a complete crazy place of joy.

I have been suffering from migraines for years, which cause visual disturbances. Over the past few weeks, I've had more visual disturbances than normal and after one scary episode in which I couldn't see at all out of one eye, I went to the doctor. Very long story short, I have a condition in which I have excess fluid in my brain which, in turn, is causing a host of other problems, such as swollen optic nerves, etc. I've been told that if I don't take some fairly drastic steps to change my life, I could end up blind and am a significantly increased risk of a stroke. There are many ways to try and put a band-aid on this condition, but in order to cure it, I need to make my health my first priority and (all of you blog readers who are regulars, I am sure you are going to know how much I LOVE this!!) I have to lose weight. A LOT of weight, and in a healthy way. Apparently, weight loss is the cure. I would like to say, for the record, that I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS SUCKS.

Accordingly, working 14 hour days, 7 days a week is not part of the cure. It's become increasingly difficult for me to work these kinds of hours, as well, as the headaches have gotten more intense and have made me fairly sick.

So - very long story as short as I can make it - I am shutting down the fabric division of Buttercuppity. I will still have Buttercuppity studio, however, where I will be making all the gorgeous and yummy handmade things that Buttercuppity started with - this will allow me the flexibility I need, however, to get well. And I really, really am committed to getting well.

This has all happened within the past few weeks, so it's been a hard adjustment. Buttercuppity Fabric and our retail hop shas been my dream come true. It really has! I've been so incredibly fortunate, and I've met the most AMAZING people online and in person - you all have given me such a great gift of friendship and acceptance, and I cannot thank you enough for the opportunites you have given me. To be able to help you create gorgeous, fun things for yourselves, your homes, your families and your lives has been an incredible gift. Thank you - THANK YOU!! - so much for all the love you have given me. :) You have no idea how much it means to me, and how much I appreciate it.

So what does this mean? Well, what it means right now is that Buttercuppity Fabric is having and amazing sale. I've updated the prices on all our fabrics online- and most of it is $5.50 a yard. Knits, Voiles and Home dec is one sale too!! I've updated the quantities, so you can buy up as much as you'd like!

EVERYTHING in the shop needs to go, and I will update Pattern prices this evening, so they will be 40% off retail. Big sales inevitably bring big questions, so I will try to proactively answer them:

The Details

Everything must go! I will not be lowering prices any more. My goal is to break even, not lose money.
You can shop online or in our Spokane shop - prices are the same in both places.
If you have purchased from Buttercuppity Fabric recently, please understand that no refunds will be given on those purchases.
Shipping is based on the regular price of fabric - not the sale price. No shipping discount will be given.
Sales can cause some craziness. If, for some reason, there is a bolt or fabric shortage, I will fill your order with the fabric I do have and will refund your money via Paypal.
I expect some shipping delays. Please be patient!

A note for my Spokane shoppers: All fixtures, pretty shop decorations, and sewing machines will also be for sale. Love the Buttercuppity look? Want to jazz up your sewing studio? Come on in. :) We will be open at 10:00 am on Tuesday.

Much, much love and many, many thanks to all of you. :)

Huge Amy Butler SALE!!!!

2010-07-30T11:04:00.000-07:00

A quick pop-in to announce our Amy Butler Sale!

ALL AMY BUTLER QUILTING FABRIC IS $6.99 A YARD. :) You can stock up here. Also - starting tomorrow, we're going to be slashing prices in the SALE section - some fabric as low as $2.50 a yard. :) WHOOHOO!

20% off EVERYTHING in the Spokane shop!

2010-07-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

Hey!

A quick post to let you know that we are having a clear-it-out sale! EVERYTHING in the Spokane shop is 20% off, meaing that most fabric is between $6 and $7 a yard. :) Sale is good today through Saturday, and includes fabric, patterns, notions, bags, dresses, aprons... everything! :) This is good in the shop ONLY!

No worries for my online shoppers... we're announcing an amazing online sale tomorrow!! :)

Quick Post - KNITS ON SALE!!

2010-07-24T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well, Hello! It is such a lovely sunny day... I do believe we shall be cooking out tonight! Just a quick note that ALL KNITS ARE ON SALE today through next friday for $9.50 a yard. Stock up while you can (THEY MAKE THE CUTEST LEGGINGS EVER!!).

:) You can find them here. Hope you are having a great weekend!!

Upcoming Classes, Fabric and FUN!

2010-07-22T18:08:00.000-07:00

Is it really almost August? For real? I have no idea how that happened.

We're getting some great stuff in this week - and I am so excited about it! Meadowsweet 2 from Sandi Henderson is on its way - the whole collection - and I cannot wait. I ordered this at Quilt Market after I saw for about 2 seconds. :) Gorgeous, huh??

Oh, I just LOVE LOVE LOVE! We have lots more fabric coming in as well, so I will update you as it comes in! :)

In other news -

Upcoming Classes! Call the shop to register at 509-368-9427 or sign up here.

Heather Bailey's Saturday Market Bag class w/ Ari

Tuesday, July 27

12-5 pm

Tote your flea-market finds, a sweater, some embroidery – or all of the above – in the roomy Saturday market bag. Choose from three variations, including two reversible designs. With optional magnetic closures at each side, this bag unsnaps for additional carrying space. Such a cute bag!

n this class, you will learn how to make this adorable, customizable bag that is perfect for gifts and - of course - yourself!! We offer a 10% discount on supplies for students. Supply list will be provided via email once you have enrolled and paid. Cost includes instruction and pattern.

Prerequisites: A willingness to learn and comfort with your sewing machine’s basic functions. Sign up here!

ModKid's Hummingbird Quilt for Beginners - Class w/ Annie

Thursday, July 29th
5-9 pm

This dainty rag-style quilt packs a lot of punch yet it’s easy to make. Any beginner sewist can tackle this project in one afternoon. The pattern comes with full size appliqué templates and detailed step-by-step instructions for constructing this beautiful hummingbird scene. The 8-page full-color booklet comes loaded with inspiration photos and even includes a Quilting Glossary on the inside back page. We carry this fabric, as well!!

Cost of the class is $40.00, which includes the class and the pattern. Supply lists will be provided via email after you have enrolled and paid, and all supplies will be 10% off at Buttercuppity! Sign up here!

And we're having another Girl's Night Out -- last time was so fun. :) Cannot wait for this one!

JULY Girl's Night Out With WINE!

Friday, July 30

5-8 pm

Our June Girl's Night Out was such a success that we're doing another in July! On this night, you'll be making girly yuminess - a makeup bag, an embellished, ruffled handtowel and a headband - all coordinating! ALL SUPPLIES are include in the cost, and so are snacks, wine and fun. :)

Please bring your own machine if you have one. :) Yay for Girl's Night Out! Sign up here!

AND some changes are coming!!

Starting August 1st, we're changing our hours and taking a summer break from classes. No worries - classes will start up like CRAZAZY in September (ohhhh, do we have plans!!), but we want to enjoy these summers with our kids, so we're making sure we do that!

Sooo, starting August 1st, Buttercuppity will be OPEN on Wednesdays ( soooo many of you have asked for this, so we are doing it!). We will now be closed on Sundays and Mondays, though. :) Here are our new hours, as of August 1st:

Sunday: Closed

Monday: Closed

Tuesday: 10 - 5:30

Wednesday: 10 - 5:30

Thursday: 10 - 5:30

Friday: 10 - 7:00

Saturday: 10 - 5:30

:) Yay! Because we won't be having classes, this whole next week will be devoted to tutorials here on the blog. Anything in particular you want to see? :) I have lots of ideas, and I'm not promising a tutorial every day - but at least 4!! :)

The Reunion! Tales of Wonderment! And PICTURES!

2010-07-21T16:49:00.000-07:00

So the Class of 1990 20 year reunion is over, and it was everything I hoped it would be, and more and less. Cryptic, right? Let me 'splain, in a day-by-day format:

Thursday, on the way to the reunion

I was minding my own business halfway to Seattle, driving my car with 2 teenagers in it, when I heard a THWACK noise, sort of like I had hit a giant goose (and I hit a goose before, so I know this sound quite well). I looked in my rearview mirror (expecting to see fur or feathers), and saw what appeared to be sheet music flying out from under my car. LOTS of sheet music.

Then the temperature gauge shot up to CRAZY HOT PULL OVER RIGHT NOW, so I did. Now, in these situations, I always assume everything can be fixed with some air in the tires or a tank full of gas. Not so much this time, as green stuff was spewing out of the hood and the bottom of the car, and we were on the top of the hill in Vantage, Washington, which is home to a giant wind farm and not much else.

Very luckily, Captain Hotpants was in our superawesome minivan in front of us with 2 more kids and a St. Bernard and saw me pulling over and staring at the car in horror. He pulled over, ran back, and let me know that the car was, indeed, quite broken and no amount of gas or air in the tires was going to fix it. Upon further inspection, he noted that the cooling fan was completely gone (see paragraph above - cooling fans, when in pieces and flying out of the back of your car, look very much like sheet music. YOU ARE WELCOME). Also gone was the radiator, or at least most of it, and several hoses.

My poor car, which I bought in 2004 and LOVE LOVE LOVE because it was my first real car that I bought all by myself as an adult, had to be towed.

Please imagine me, Sassypants and Oengus, our St. Bernard, looking at this scene sadly and crying (well, Oengus was barking, but sorta the same).

This left 2 adults, 4 teenagers, 1 St. Bernard, a million suitcases and MY REUNION DRESS AND SHOES to fit into one awesome minivan with a broken passenger side door. So we did. We followed our little car to the mechanic place, left it their sadly, and went on with the remaining 2.5 hours of our trip.

Please note that due to the broken passenger side door, I had to climb into the van through the driver's side, and it involved frequent squashing of my butt against the front window and one incident in which I fell out of the driver's side door when my flip flop got caught on the center console.

Needless to say, we made it. My son, who shared his seat with a 180 pound St. Bernard, was in a great mood. Everyone else WAS NOT. I may have had some wine that night.

Friday, the first night of the reunion.

Went to my home town and stopped and bought shoes along the way. Tried on shoes and fell down in the middle of the shoe place.

Got to our hotel and called my old high school partner in crime Joe, who promised to be my date because I could not face going alone. Joe came over and we started drinking my favorite new creation of Diet Cherry Pepsi and Malibu rum - which I call "Cheery Pepsi" - because we also could not face going without some liquid courage.

I got dressed and realized I looked like the grapes from the Fruit of the Loom commerical. 1st breakdown commenced. Was convinced that I would be set aflame immediately upon arrival at reunion.

Captain Hotpants dropped us off at the school and we took a tour. I did not fall, I saw loads of pictures, and here are some of them (see the grape - YEAH, THAT"S ME.):

Me. Joe. Cheery Pepsi in the high school cafeteria.

Me and Joe again. I would like to say that this was slightly before they opened up the time capsule, in which Joe had placed a dead frog 20 years ago (I don't know why). We were both understandably nervous about a possible 20-year-old dead frog, so we were being a bit silly.

Joe, getting more nervous as the time-capsule time came closer, called Captain Hotpants in a panic and requested that he bring more Cheery Pepsi's. Captain Hotpants, being awesome, did. :)

Then the entire class of 1990 went to a bar, and Captain Hotpants and I went home early because we are old and lame and forgot how to party. Seriously, we were home by 11pm. And my shoes were FABULOUS, and almost cancelled out my stupid grape shirt. And everyone was lovely, and I was on a total high because I was wondering just exactly what I was nervous about.

Saturday, the dinner.
Had a great day and saw a ton of old friends, while Joe and Captain Hotpants went golfing.

Got on my dress (thanks for voting, ya'll!!) and my shoes:

Here is a pic (Captain Hotpants is so dreamy. I heart him):

Us! And one of my most lovely friends from high school, Sonja:

Me and Janet, who is just about the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside or out.

Haha, this is us when we were teenagers. We were AWESOME.

So I was having an absolutely lovely time hanging out and chatting and having dinner, and then a very drunken girl at the table next to us asked who "the fatty at that table over there was." And she looked right at me, and then the whole table looked at me, and I just WANTED TO DIE. To be fair, everyone else at the other table also looked like they wanted to die, but yeah. I left.

Flames thrown, people. FLAMES THROWN.

I didn't go to any other events that whole weekend, and - as you can imagine, got SUPER EXCITED when all the class pictures were posted and someone made a comment about me looking like a big bookend next to a bunch of skinny girls.

So that part SUCKED. A lot. And I had a total pity party for myself for awhile, but then I got home to these guys - Sassypants and Monkeyface - and all was well with the world:

And, in some GREAT NEWS, the car that exploded a wee bit? It's TOTALLY COVERED by a recall. HA! So all damage is being fixed FREE OF CHARGE. :)

But, I want to say something else, and I think it's pretty important. If you read this blog, you know that I've been worried about this reunion for a long time. I've been worried that what happened would happen. And it did. And you know what? I'm okay, because in the end, the friend I love so much - Joe, Janet, and other who are near and dear to me - love me this size. And my crazy husband thinks I am awesome, and my kids think I'm kind of a nut but love me in spite of it.

So if you are reading this, and you are stressing out worrying about what someone else thinks of you, just STOP. Because it just does not matter, as long as you have a family who loves you and friends who care. I've worked a really long time to become something more than just what I looked like - and those that know me well can see beyond my too-big butt and double chin. And that, I think, is quite fantastic.

Sale!

2010-07-18T10:24:00.000-07:00

Hi!

I am at my reunion but wanted to pop in here really quick because... we're having a sale!

Everything in the online shop - excluding knits, home dec and voile - is $6.99 a yard. :) Convo me via Etsy with what you would like, and I will set up a custom listing for you with the $6.99 price.

Have a great weekend! I will be back soon with tales of showing up the first night looking like the grape from the Fruit of the Loom guys and also a cautionary tale about the dangers of tall shoes when you are not a very good walker in the first place. :)

-Ari

Giveaway winner! Congratulations!

2010-07-16T08:31:00.000-07:00

Hi! This is Marina. :)

Haha, funny questions and thank you so much for all the comments on my first giveaway! I'll be getting the second one done tomorrow, and I meant to get this one done yesterday but we were driving over to my Grandma's house for my mom's 20th reunion, and our car sort of exploded on the top of this giant hill in the middle of Washington state. We had to get it towed and it's in the car hospital:

And so we got in very late. Sorry about that! I will answer all questions tomorrow when I do the new giveaway, but the winner for last week's Tracey Wallet kit giveaway is.....

Ellen in Winston Salem !!

Chosen by my brother, who pointed with his eyes closed at the giant list of comments. :)

To claim your prize, email fabric@buttercuppity.com. :)

- Marina. :)

Marina's First Giveaway! good luck! :)

2010-07-09T12:18:00.000-07:00

Alright, well this is Marina and this is my first blog post for my first giveaway! I'm now in charge of the weekly giveaway, and this week it is a Tracey Wallet kit- including the pattern, fabric shown in the picture and everything else you need to make the adorable wallet! :)

To enter I'm going to keep it simple, just leave a comment saying hi, new ideas for giveaways, or any embarrassing questions you'd like to know about my mom! Haha :) The winner will be randomly chosen next Thursday. Good luck and I'm looking forward to next week's giveaway!

-Marina :)

Humbled. And new fabric! And a SALE! And a VOTE!

2010-06-25T12:18:00.000-07:00

Well.

Thank you. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!

I am completely overwhelmed and humbled that so many of you would be so kind and take the time to leave a comment, especially the lovely comments you left. It turned a yucky experience into something pretty amazing, and I cannot thank you enough! You all pulled me out of a bog! Really, you have no idea how much your kind words mean to me and how I keep looking at them when I start gettign that dreaded feeling of awfulness, and they pick me up every time - so THANK YOU!! I really do love you all to pieces. :)

So, a few announcements and I also need some help! Announcements first, though.

We have some new fabric in the shop, and it's LOVERLY. And um, we have a wee bit more coming, but check out what's new first:

Weekends from Erin McMorris - so lovely! Available in our shop.

Look at the tiny bicycles! HEART THEM.

And we also got in McKenzie from Dena Designs! So pretty - I love

her hand-drawn art and the gorgeous colors she uses!! Available in our shop.

And what about this - Colorful Christmas from Riley Blake? I may have already confessed that I went NUTS in the Riley Blake booth at Quilt Market and bought everything. :) Well, it showed up and I LOVE IT!!

And I got an older collection, Just Dreamy, from Riley Blake also -

because it's gorgeous and why wouldn't I? :)

Pretty, huh?? I love them. We have about 100 bolts coming in THE NEXT WEEK, oops. It appears I may have over-ordered at Quilt Market. Oh, what a SHAME. Because we are totally out of room,

we are having a sale. We already have a tons of things on sale for $5.99 a yard in the SALE section of our shop, but we added this...

Pretty cool, right? I love Hope Valley. LOVE IT - the fabric is ridiculously soft and silky, and makes the most gorgeous quilts and little girl dresses. Yum yum yum! You can find it here in our shop, starting tomorrow!

And now, the vote! My high school reunion is in a few weeks, and I need a dress. A black dress, of course, because in my mind this will hide my giant ass. Right? RIGHT??? I am armed with Spanx and some seriously amazing shoes. I have no dress, and would look a wee bit foolish showing up in Spanx, a bra and some shoes, although that does sound a bit like some of the nightmares I have been having for the past y ear about my reunion. ANYWAY, I have narrowed it down to four, and I leave the final decision up to you because I cannot decide. Here you go:

Number One - Yum.

Will cover the Spanx nicely.

Has great reviews and hopefully I won't hang out of it.

Number Two - Very Forties

Also has great reviews, and I like the flowiness. Worry about the belt thing.

Number Three - Pretty. Or Possibly Not. I don't know.

I don't know if I like this dress or not. It also has great reviews and

is supposed to be magical and make you look skinny. I'm torn.

Dress #4. I like it. My daughter thinks it looks like a bathrobe.

I think I like that aspect of it, and the leg-hiding qualities. Again, you decide. I just can't.

Please vote! I need your help! :) THANK YOU SO MUCH. :)

Survey Results - GlowDay.com

In which I discuss the Fork Hair post and the way things are.

2010-06-16T17:28:00.000-07:00

Well HI! I haven't posted anything super substantial for awhile except for posts saying OOOH LOOK AT THE NEW FABRIC!! :) Why? Well, because in aftermath of the now infamous Fork Hair post, I have been incredibly reluctant to write about anything other than pretty fabric.

Now, I expected to get maybe a comment about how innapropriate is was to find Jesus in Ross. Actually, I got nothing like that. I did, however, get what can only be called a BARRAGE of emails regarding my character, my lack of hygiene, my propensity for lying, and the (and yes, I quote), "special place in hell [I] now have reserved." Ummm. Okay. So, a few comments and questions answered from the emails received.

Comment: It is clear that you make up stories for the benefit of your blog. What you describe is impossible. (Note: discussing my combing my hair with a fork).

Answer: If you knew me at all, you would know that it is a miracle that I actually make it out of the house wearing pants. In fact, it is quite shocking that I don't comb my hair with a fork every day. I am naturally kind of scattered and save all my organizational energy to run my business effectively, so my personal look sometimes isn't my top priority. And I assure you, it is totally possible to comb your hair with a fork. Also, bite me.

Comment: I can't believe you discuss your deplorable hygiene habits so publicly. And you claim to be a professional? Have you no shame?

Answer: No. No I do not have any shame. And I have never claimed to be a professional anything. Clearly, if you read my blog you would know this.

Comment: Please tell me you didn't eat with that fork (Okay - this one is a valid question and kind of funny!)

Answer: No, in fact the fork is still in the top drawer of my desk. No worries.

Comment: You should be ashamed of yourself. Don't you have children? Don't you know the bad habits you are you teaching them?

Answer: I am teaching them to have fun with their life and not to take the silly stuff too seriously. And, you know, not to be judgemental.

Comment: I think you should know that your readers are tired of reading your overdramatic antics. You are a fabric shop. Embellishing stories for affect is a sin - it's LYING. There is a special place in hell YOU now have reserved.
Answer: Okay. Let's get one thing very straight. I WISH I were embellishing this stuff. I WISH I was a sleek, put-together person who floated effortlessly through the day. I'm not. I make messes. I often look a mess. I fall a lot. I'm generally a walking disaster. K? P.S. You should look up affect/effect.

Comment: It's not hard to do your hair everyday. A small amount of effort will really pay off.
Answer: :[

And it goes on and on. To be honest, I've had a UGH week. We had a 2 to 3 day period where our shipping completely got messed up about a month ago ( BAD. Like, orders appear to be shipped but they just never arrived at their destination) and so we are madly scrambling to remedy that. Understandably - people are upset (and who wouldn't be - I would be, if I paid for fabric and was still waiting for it a month later!!), and trying to fix that has taken up a lot of time. Please know, if you are one of these customers (although I really do believe we've caught them all at this point!!), we are so sorry and are working feverishly to remedy it.

Like all bad situations, though, much good has come of both the blog post and the shipping disaster. The blog post has really got me thinking about how much I share, and if it's appropriate for me to share as much as I do. I still don't know... I have a hard time balancing what is appropriate with just being myself (because I really border on inappropriate most of the time!)

And with the shipping, we have completely revamped our system. OVERHAULED. And it's been a ton of work, but it's worth it... now we can really be sure that what says was shipped actually was. Captain Hotpants and I have both been up at nights working on this and worrying- because we love our business and want everyone else to love it as much as we do. :) It's a constant process, but we love that we can actually make change for the better in our shop.

And also, because I hate posts without pics, here ya go. Me, in my special place in hell. :)

KNITS! Coming Soon!!

2010-06-04T13:16:00.000-07:00

I am not a knit expert. Well, I am not an anything expert (except perhaps a cookie expert), but knits are ALL NEW to me - and you know what? I am SUPER excited about them. When I was at Quilt Market, I went to a schoolhouse session given by Patty Young - you know, of Modkid SUPERAWESOMENESS? Well, it was a total honor just to be in the same room with her, but not only is she superawesome - the woman knows her knits. She shared her tips and tricks in a handout, which she said we could freely distribute to our customers - so I scanned it in, and here it is:

Just click on the picture to make it better, but here is the gist for sewing with knits:

They are super forgiving, and NO IRONING!
Wash and shrink before you use - they shrink about 10-15%, so get EXTRA for your projects.
Use ballpoint pins and needles - you can get these in the notions aisle (I found some today at Joann's - they were clearly marked "KNIT NEEDLES". yay!) Why? Knits are made from yarns, and regular needles can tear or snag the yarns - sort of like getting a run in your pantyhose.
Don't stretch your knits when you sew (she stressed this a LOT), or it will have a wavy edge (unless, of course, you are going for a wavy edge).
Cut your pattern pieces according to the cutting diagrams, because knits have different stretches in each direction - so how you cut is very important.
You don't need a serger to sew with knits! Sewing machines can also create stretchy stitches (like a narrow zig zag stitch), and it's easy and fun.

A couple more things - finishing knits hems. You have several options, even if you DON'T have a serger

A rolled hem (serger - and super easy)
A coverstitch (serger - and only some have this function)
A regular sewing machine with a double needle (looks like a cover stitch, but without the sewing machine!!)
A narrow zig-zag stitch on your sewing machine

We carry the Maya and Abigail patterns designed by Patty for knits in our shop - super easy and super fun! I'm pretty excited about knits and the endless options for them (Patty had a QUILT she made out of knits, and it was gorgeous and COMFYYYYYYY), I ordered some of Patty's knits, but also a host of others - so Buttercuppity will have lots of knit options. :) Here's a quick preview:

Patty Young's Knits (coming next week!)

The huge amount of other knits I went crazy and ordered:

Yay! How fun is that? I cannot wait to start playing with these fabrics. Whoo hoo! Coming tomorrow: an update of the zillion bolts of fabrics that have arrived in the shop in the past few days. :)

$5.99 a Yard? OH YES! Our SUPER SALE

2010-05-29T10:43:00.000-07:00

We need to make room for all the stuff we bought at Quilt Market,

so we're having the biggest sale we've ever had!

ON SALE FOR 5.99 A YARD: Spellbound from Art Gallery, Mezzanine and Andalucia from Patty Young, Farmer's Market from Sandi Henderson, Wonderland from Momo, Dolce from Tanya Whelan, Dill Blossom from SEI and MORE!

Prices good online and in our Spokane shop. Yay!

Quilt Market, Announcements and a bit of a confession

2010-05-27T21:14:00.000-07:00

WHOOPS! I meant to get Quilt Market - Day 2 up and posted WAYYYYY before this, but look at that. It's Thursday! I'm so sorry. I don't even have tutus to blame this time, but I do have something to confess.

Confession time - Right now, after Quilt Market, I am a bit of a mess. I am NOT a glamorous, gorgeous, put-together design-y fabric type. Everyone at Quilt Market, well, was. So I am feeling a bit low, especially after realizing when I got to work today (with wet hair and no makeup because I was in a hurry and wanted to get into the shop early to work on about a million custom orders) that I FORGOT MY MAKEUP AND MY HAIRBRUSH. So today's ultra-professional look consisted of me possible having hair combed out with a FORK (no. really. I got said fork at Ikea and my hair looks really stupid) and makeup inspired by one tube of lipstick that I got in a Clinique giveaway and a tube of super old mascara. GO ME. ARGH.

On to the announcements! Buttercuppity is growing at an AWESOME rate, and as such... we've hired our first employee! She starts in a few weeks, and she is just about the coolest girl in the world. Meet EMILY.

This is a picture of Emily when we went on an adventure to ROSS. See how she will fit in at Buttercuppity so well? Coincendentally, this is also the same expedition where we, in fact, found Jesus:

Emily and I met several years ago when we were both getting our English degrees. We went out to grad school together and, at the end, wrote our theses (hahahah, that word is so silly) together which entailed much crying, whining, stalling, and both of us alternately threatening the other with death and the stealing of each others' Sex and the City DVDs if we DID NOT FINISH (We both did, although neither one of us has ever, ever actually cracked open said theses again). Emily is funny, she is very silly, and we are SOOOOO very lucky to have her. This leads me to my next announcement!

Buttercuppity will not be doing any custom orders any more. This is for many reasons, but mostly because I have my hands in too many pots right now, and I just cannot give any of them the attention they deserve. :) The problem is that I love all these pots, but when listing them out, giving up custom orders frees up the most time for me to focus on some other projects that I really, really want to get done. So, bags/aprons/kids dresses will still be available in the shop and, very soon, online at buttercuppity.com, but they will be the things I decide to make - this will give me a lot more creative freedom, which I've been missing! This is actually a very good thing - I am incredibly excited at the time this will free up for me to make new designs! :)

Now, on to QUILT MARKET! Today, I'm focusing on Riley Blake. I loved loved LOVED their booth (it was SO PRETTY!!!) I went a bit nuts in this booth, and it's entirely possible that I ordered EVERYTHING. Sheesh. I'm still pulling out invoices of things I ordered and saying "HUH. I do not remember this at all." It's all good, though, because it means we are going to have lots of new gorgeousness in the shop!

Oooh, love love love how pretty this is!

And how cute is this?

And YUM! Yay for Christmas!

This is how I ordered - I saw some of the fabric

on paper (like above) and some on cloth, like below. You

see how it's so much more vibrant on cloth?

That's both the good and bad about ordering from paper

samples only. :)

Pretty Pretty Pretty!

This whole booth was just DROOL-WORTHY!

More tomorrow!

Quilt Market - Day 1!!

2010-05-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

Oh dear. I did some SERIOUS damage today! And you know what? It was the MOST. FUN. EVER!

Quilt Market is AWESOME. Minneapolis is AWESOME. I am so overwhelmed with everything that has happened in the past few days that I'm going to miss some things, but I am having a BALL with Captain Hotpants, I hung out with the most lovely Karen from Venezie Designs, and we've been eating ridiculously well (but walking, too! This is a great town for exploring and walking!)

First, please let me preface this by saying that I do not photograph well. So I look REALLY BAD in most of these photos, which is why I usually draw pictures in MS paint because stick figures look better than I do in photos. Case in point, taken today and I was not even a little bit drunk:

I would like to say that my husband thinks this is the most awesome picture EVER and keeps looking at it on his phone and GUFFAWING. Crikey.

Okay, so here we go!

Pillow & Maxfield are the two most AMAZING ladies, and I absolutely adore them! Their new line, Pretty Bird, is GORGEOUS. See?

And here is their booth, and it was AMAZING. GORGEOUS! These birdhouses have the Pretty Bird modpodged on them, and they are lovely. I am SO doing this for the shop!

An adorable Emmeline apron in Pretty Bird (I WANT.):

And this is all of us, after a discussion on the previous evening's happening on "Real Housewives of New York City" - they hadn't seen it, and I was BURSTING to talk to someone about Kelly's meltdown. That they watch this dreadful show too makes me love them even more!! (WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FACE?? GAH!)

Love, love LOVE the Pillow & Maxfield girls!! :)

Of course, everyone has been emailing about Amy Butler. She is beautiful and tall and NICE!! I am going back to her booth tomorrow (it was busy, as you may expect, today!!), but I got some pictures:

Lovely, lovely bags!

Lovely, Lovely Honeybun Pouffs - a new pattern that OH YES, I ordered. :) Big floor cushions!

Cute new mommy AND daughter size raincoats (and regular coat) patterns - great for laminates!

Another view of the bags and her booth!

The lovely lady!

Don't worry. I'm sooo not done in this booth!

The MODA ordering area. It's CRAZY! Rows and rows of sales reps showing the new lines and taking orders - so, so cute! I have an appointment here tomorrow and will be doing some MAJOR DAMAGE, my friends. MAJOR.

They have a tons of new lines coming out, but for whatever reason I only got pictures of Simplify from Thimble Blossoms, which is adorable:

Look at the baby basket! I WANT!!

Saw Patty Young's new line, Playdate, and her knits in action! So cute! (Knits are ordered and will arrive soon! They are super awesome!)

Heehee! Look at the dolls!

Her booth is gorgeous! Very fun!

And Kyoko - I just got this pattern in our shop, and I LOVE IT!!

And last, but certainly not least, Sandi Henderson's booth. SO PRETTY and relaxing and just as lovely as you could possibly imagine. Her husband is also very, very nice! Meadowsweet 2 is gorgeous in person, and of course we already ordered it. :) Yay!

More tomorrow. This chick is tired (and also, I had a really, really big Mojito. I may very well be tipsy.)

:) I'm having so much fun! I really, really, really wish you could ALL BE HERE TOO! Leave me comments and tell me what you want to see! I'm posting a pretty cool giveaway tomorrow. :) YAY!

Buttercuppity

In which I discuss the Importance of Bikes in a Zombie Apocalypse.

In which I discuss Meatloaf and my education (the singer, not the food)

I'm BACKKKKKKKKKK, and also some stuff about assholes.

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes. – William Gibson

Disclaimer: I have no idea if this is a "true" quotation or not. I tried to look it up and I couldn't find it, so I don't know if this dude said it or not. But who cares? It's still awesome. : )

It would seem I took a little fall break...

Captain Hotpants down AGAIN - OH NOESSSS! And BUTTERCUPPITY GHOST TALES, Part 1.

Plans - HAHAHAHA

The 7 Stages of Buttercuppity Grief (THE ILLUSTRATED VERSION!!)

3 years...

An Update and Sale Info

WOW! Thank you!

And now, for something COMPLETELY different...

Huge Amy Butler SALE!!!!

20% off EVERYTHING in the Spokane shop!

Quick Post - KNITS ON SALE!!

Upcoming Classes, Fabric and FUN!

The Reunion! Tales of Wonderment! And PICTURES!

Sale!

Giveaway winner! Congratulations!

Marina's First Giveaway! good luck! :)

Humbled. And new fabric! And a SALE! And a VOTE!

In which I discuss the Fork Hair post and the way things are.

KNITS! Coming Soon!!

$5.99 a Yard? OH YES! Our SUPER SALE

Quilt Market, Announcements and a bit of a confession

Quilt Market - Day 1!!

Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure that you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
– William Gibson