Jerks

Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2 Midnight Fiasco

2009-11-09T23:07:00.001-08:00

I went to get my copy of Modern Warfare 2 at midnight. I made a booboo.

Elizabeth Lambert... WE SALUTE YOU!!

2009-11-07T21:52:00.000-08:00

Elizabeth Lambert is awesome. And we love her. See she is just your normal cool chick. Hangs out, does her homework, lovely to be around, and plays soccer.

And then one day some stupid snooty bitches from BYU, start giving her a hard time! They start talkin shit, they throw elbows into her awesome chest, they tug on her shorts, so Elizabeth Lambert, turned into LAMBERT 3:16 and decided to dish come back. What the snooty BYU bitches didn't realize, was Elizabeth Lambert isn't one to be messed around with. Don't go throing an elbow if you don't want a face full of soccer ball. Thanks. Watch the video, watch number 7 on the white team act like a stupid lil bitch, she throws an elbow into Elizabeths chest. So guess what happens then? Its called Elizabeth VS BYU. And Elizabeth wins.

We understand that due to her actions, Elizabeth Lambert was banned. Which is total bullshit. Had this happened in England, she would have MAYBE gotten tossed from the game, or a foul thrown in her face. And now she feels all sorry and bad about it, look Elizabeth, 99% of the internet saw what those girls were doing, and you were just defending yourself. So don't worry. You are still awesome in our eyes, and now thousands of guys wanna marry your sexy lil bad ass self.

Also here is where they really screwed up, for the first time in the history of the planet Earth. People are actually giving a shit about womens college soccer. And they go and ban the reason for it. Good job.

Sgt. Slaughter 1 Random Villain 0

2009-11-06T17:45:00.001-08:00

Had a chance to go meet Sgt Slaughter today. Ask him a few questions and hang out. Instead he called me a maggot and slapped the cobra clutch on and that was that.

The Best Craigslist Ad Ever?

2009-11-05T21:16:00.000-08:00

So, going through the jobs and gigs, looking for well, a job, or a gig, and I think I found the perfect one....

Modern Warfare 2: Bone Thugs Remix

2009-11-05T11:54:00.000-08:00

Check out this awesome hype video for the upcoming game that will shatter all kinds of records... Modern Warfare 2. This commercial was bad ass, but when our resident producer Random Villain puts his spin on it, it gets just a bit more bad ass. The song "War" by Bone Thugs and Harmony was meant for Modern Warfare 2...it just took a Bunch of Jerks to put the 2 together and make it happen. Enjoy, and prepare for WAR!

Yankees Win the World Series...Let the Brawls Begin!

2009-11-04T22:33:00.000-08:00

Well the Yankees won the World Series...so I guess some people are excited. Baseball has never really interested me other than going to a game in person once in a while. What's more interesting, is the die hard fans that love their team so much, they want to go out and fight in the parking lot for them. These are the people they believe they are in fact members of their team, and winning is life or death for them. Well New York is happy, Philadelphia is not, so what better way to settle this than a good old fashioned street fight! So since the Yankees and Phillies are all done, lets check in on the Yankee fans vs. Phillies fans battle royal:

Phillies and Yankees Fans Brawl in Parking Lot - Watch more Funny Videos

Guttenberg. Danson. Selleck. The MEN, Are Back!!

2009-11-04T20:32:00.000-08:00

Holy shit. This is awesome news. I have always been a fan of Steve Guttenberg. I am a huge Cheers fan, so anything with Danson rules. And Tom Selleck, shit it's MAGNUM PI! And I always wonder why I never see him in more movies. But the wait is over, and it is now time, for the trilogy to be completed...

THREE MEN AND A BRIDE IS HEADED TO A THEATER NEAR YOU!

Guttenberg broke the news just the other day.

"Disney's developing Three Men and a Bride. That's going to be a smash. A smash hit. They're bringing everybody back for that. Nobody knows
about it. I'm the first to talk about it.”

Works for me, I'm a fan of the first two movies, so why not? I'll be there opening weekend.

The Potato Drop Baked Potato Method Mega Recipe Post

2009-11-04T14:49:00.000-08:00

Devon Lohan Classics Revisited:

Our Old Blog " Devon Lohan" was filled with fantastic recipes and great food reviews. It's hard to believe the Potato Drop sensation started almost 3 years ago. We have decided to revisit this classic. The following includes the original Potato Drop post as well as a followup "My Experience" post by Money D. and the 4 Minute Microwave Method. Enjoy.

My Favorite Way to Make a Baked Potato ( in the Oven)

So I really like baked potatoes. I like them plain, with butter and/or sour cream, "loaded", "deluxe", whatever.

It's a simple and easy thing to make, and cheap. I mean you can get a 5 lb bag of potatoes for maybe 3 bucks or a very nice loose Russet for less than a buck.

You can even microwave these biotches. But sometimes the potato doesn't come out right. You might cook it for an hour and it's still raw. Then a few minutes later it's overcooked.

In future posts we will discuss all the great toppings ( broccoli and cheddar, chives/sour cream/bacon/cheddar/butter, creamed chipped beef, you know, whatever).

BUT right Now I'm talking the basic baked potato. I will talk about Microwaves ( remember, times vary!) but this is how I cook my perfect baked potato in the fuckin oven.

1. Pre-heat oven to 450 degrees
2. Rinse the potato and rub coarse salt all over the skin
3. When the oven is ready just sit the potato right on the rack. It should take about 45 minutes for a medium potato. The skin should be crisp and the inside should be soft. You will be able to push through it.

Very Important Step: THE DROP
When you take the potato out.. Well I worked in a restaurant for many years and I am used to sticking my bare hands in ovens and broilers. So I will just grab it. You may need an oven mitt or some tongs or other utensil. If you have sensitive hands, playing "hot potato" may also accomplish this, especially if your floor is very clean. But, the way IIII do it is: I take the potato out and wrap it in foil or securely in a paper towel ( for reasons that will soon become obvious the potato should be covered).

Then from a height of about 5-6 feet I drop the potato directly on the floor ( I guesss you could put some wax paper there or something). This step is crucial to making an awesome potato because this smashes it and makes it very fluffy. It breaks the skin and the spuds splatter out.

ALTERNATE: If you don't want to drop it or have dirty floors or prefer hitting things, you can do this another way. Take it out and sit it on a plate/counter/cutting board. Put a couple paper towels on top and start "chopping" or beating it. I would say 2-3 swift blows are sufficient. I can best describe the proper strike as a "karate chop" but with fingers bent/half-closed. This will create the same effect as the floor drop.

Season and Eat: For the basic potato I will stick to salt, pepper and butter. After dropping it the potato skin may open on its own. Or you may need to tear/cut it down the middle. It should be fluffy enough. If not, flake it some with your fork. You know how Thomas's English Muffins have nooks and crannies for the butter to seep in? A good potato is kinda like that. It will have lots of little cracks and fissures where toppings will sink. if not, you want to make some wth your fork. Then I sprinkle salt. Then pepper. Then butter. I find this order of condiment application to be crucial.

Then you eat it. I won't tell you how to enjoy your potato, but I eat the skin( usually first just like I do with Birthday cake) and then scoop out and mix up the insides. I like to save the most buttery pices for last and rub them around in any salt and pepper residue.

Enjoy!

The Now Famous Potato Drop - My Experience...

So ever since I read the now famous potato recipe from Ultra Entertainment, I've had the urge to try it since it sounded good. Now I've had my fair share of potatoes and enjoy it as a side to steak or shrimp etc., but this potato turned out to be good enough to be a meal in itself. I had my fiance follow the recipe and see just how good it would be. The first observation was that we needed to put it in a little longer, as the 45 minutes that was called for didn't quite have it done all the way, but after 20 minutes extra it was good to go, so the time in the oven will vary based on the oven you have. So as we took it out, our next step was the most odd and probably a step you won't find in any other recipe, which is why this step is known as the famous "drop." So as the recipe states, we held the potato up about a little over 5 feet, then dropped it right to the floor, SPLAT! We had the potato wrapped in foil, but as stated , the drop opened the potato up and some splattered out a little. First thing we noticed after looking inside after the drop, was how soft and fluffy the potato was, the drop had worked to perfection! This was definitely the magic touch to this perfect potato. Now I added the butter, which was low fat for me since i try to eat semi-healthy. Next up I added my own personal touch by substituting salt/pepper for a personal favorite of mine, Mrs. Dash. The result? Perfection! This was honestly the best potato I ever remember eating. After eating about half of it, I decided to break out some sour cream n test that out, and its another great compliment to the perfect potato i must say. One part that really stood out was the skin. The recipe calls for salt to be rubbed all over the potato before it goes in the oven, and now the skin was full of flavor. I usually don't eat the skin as its normally pretty flavorless, but this time i ate the whole potato, skin and all.

So I give two thumbs way up for this recipe and definitely recommend for anyone who is looking to make the perfect potato, you will definitely taste the difference!

Late Night 4 Minute Baked (Nuked) Potato

I'm sitting down with a 30 second soft pretzel to write about a 4 minute potato.

I wrote about making the perfect baked potato before.. Well, here is how to make the speedy microwaved version.

While I prefer cooking with a real oven ( and try to avoid the microwave, Foreman grills,etc) sometimes it's just not practical. I said in my potato post that it would take 45 minutes to cook. Well that's on the low end. A full hour might be necessary. But with some easy prep work the microwave works just fine.

The other night I found myself hungry and didn't have much in the way of convenience food. It was late. I didn't want to cook, and I didn't want to drive or eat Taco Bell or any of that stuff. I also didn't have much money. I DID have almost a full bag of potatoes from making cheese potato soup.

Being a Potato Purist, it wasn't easy popping this incredible spud in the microwave oven. I decided to risk it.

As you know one of the great things about potato preparation is it's fun. Damn fun. We get to slice them, dice them, stab, poke, smack, chop, and drop.

First I took a fork and violently stabbed the Russet about 3 dozen times. The point is to make several small holes in the potato.

Then I inserted the dish in a standard power residential microwave oven. After some brief calculations I decided the perfect time would be 4 minutes- 4:00.

And it was! It turned out perfectly. Medium potato. Average Microwave Power. 4 minutes. I hate to say it, but I think I may PREFER my microwaved version.

It's easy and CHEAP. I figure, when bought in 5 lb sack, a decent sized potato might run 30-35 cents. In about 5 minutes you can have a nice snack or meal. The possibility of toppings are endless. Or you can have it plain or a sprinkle of salt and pepper and a pat of butter. Whatever you like.

And don't forget for even more fun, DO The DROP!

The Prometheus Device

2009-11-04T08:52:00.000-08:00

Yeah, some dude made this totally bad ass device, check it out...

And well, here is what I have to say about it... And yeah, I know the sound is screwed up, don't blame me, blame the stupid, youtube reply to this video with a video crap.

Find Out How To Get The H1N1 Vaccine... RIGHT NOW!!!!!

2009-11-03T01:15:00.000-08:00

People all over are rushing out to get their shots and take their vitamins and say their prayers and do what they can to prevent getting a bad flu virus. But you see, the vaccine to prevent this has been available all along! It is right under our nose! Watch the video below to find out exactly what I mean....

I'm sure Del would agree with me, 100%

Kevin McCallister - The Original Jigsaw?!

2009-11-03T00:38:00.000-08:00

With Halloween just wrapping up, and the Christmas holiday season on the way...both SAW and Home Alone are 2 classics that are always linked to their respective holidays. This video does make you think...was Kevin McCallister the REAL Jigsaw? He "wanted to play a game" many years before Jigsaw. Could the mastermind behind the now 6 SAW movies been influenced by the 8 year old who held his own while being left alone twice, in 2 different houses, in 2 different states? The investigation is underway...

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Olivia Munn is Making Her Own Magazine...and It Beats Playboy

2009-11-02T22:55:00.000-08:00

The world rejoiced when news spread that Olivia Munn posed for Playboy, and we Jerks rejoiced as well. Then news kept coming in that brought the situation down. First was news that the actual Playboy only had 1 Olivia pic...weird, but AH the rest of the pics are online....then problem number 2, while the pics were very hot, Olivia didn't get naked. Olivia claims she didn't want to get naked, most people say Playboy could've shelled out enough cash and made it happen, but regardless, it left us wanting more Olivia. Well now Olivia is taking control of the situation, and is making her own magazine titled "Hey Olivia"...a magazine made with her fans in mind (the pic to the right is a preview of the cover shot.) And having the fans in mind = a 15 page photo spread, in all sorts of sexy poses. Olivia says she has total control, from what pics get used to what else is in the magazine etc., so it should be a winner due to the combination of Olivia being hot, and pretty damn funny too. We've got the preview video below, and the best thing that stands out is some nice ass shots with Olivia in somewhat see through panties....yes THAT is what the fans want. We're not sure exactly what all we will see in the magazine, but prob just a little more than Playboy, not a lot, but we can hope. One day someone will realize that Olivia showing approximately 1 boob would = sales skyrocketing through the roof. Until then, we will continue to be gladly teased by Olivia Munn. You can buy the Hey Olivia magazine now, and the official release date is Novermber 12.

Joss Whedon Wants Terminator?!

2009-11-02T22:22:00.000-08:00

Did you hear that? That was the sound of nerds everywhere getting boners. Yes, boners make noise, how I know, I will never tell. But what I do know, is this news makes me happy, so hopefully it will come true.

The rights to the Terminator franchise are about to hit the auction block. Studios, moguls, rich people, and companies all over will be bidding for the rights to the Terminator franchise, which includes all movie, tv, books, comics, and other rights. So whoever lands the rights to it, will have the fate of future movies in their hands. And one man could save us all, and his name is Joss Whedon.

Who is Joss Whedon? He wrote a few episodes of Roseanne when he was first starting off, then wrote a screenplay called Toy Story. He then went on to create a character known to us as Buffy. She slayed vampires. He is also the mind behind Angel, Firefly, and Dollhouse.

Well, ol Joss wrote an open letter to Halcyon, the current owners of Terminator. Here is the letter he wrote to them...

An Open Letter to the Terminator Owners. From a Very Important Hollywood Mogul

Dear Sirs/Ma’ams,
I am Joss Whedon, the mastermind behind Titan A.E., Parenthood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one where ‘hood’ was capitalized ’cause it was a pun), and myriad other legendary tales. I have heard through the ‘grapevine’ that the Terminator franchise is for sale, and I am prepared to make a pre-emptive bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dealio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not available on TV. I will write a check TODAY for $10,000, and viola! Terminator off your hands.
No, you didn’t miscount. That’s four — FOUR! — zeroes after that one. That’s to show you I mean business. And I mean show business. Nikki Finke says the Terminator concept is played. Well, here’s what I have to say to Nikki Finke: you are a fine journalist and please don’t ever notice me. The Terminator story is as formative and important in our culture — and my pretend play — as any I can think of. It’s far from over. And before you Terminator-Owners (I have trouble remembering names) rush to cash that sweet cheque, let me give you a taste of what I could do with that franchise:

1) Terminator… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-travelled TOO far… back to when there was dragons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Hasta La Vista, Boramir! Cool, huh? “Now you gonna be Gandalf the Red!” RRRRIP! But then he totally helps, because he’s a cyborg and he doesn’t give a s#&% about the ring — it has no power over him! And he can carry it AND Frodo AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings franchise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a reason they’re called “Summer” movies.

3) Can you say… musical? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.

4) Christian Bales John Connor will get a throat lozenge. This will also help his Batwork (ten grand for that franchise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Connor never told Kyle Reese this, but his main objective in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal guitar — and dollar signs!

6) The movies will stop getting less cool.

Okay. There’s more — this brain don’t quit! (though it has occasionally been fired) — but I think you get my drift. I really believe the Terminator franchise has only begun to plumb the depths of questioning the human condition during awesome stunts, and I’d like to shepherd it through the next phase. The money is there, but more importantly, the heart is there. But more importantly, money. Think about it. End this bloody bidding war before it begins, and put the Terminator in the hands of someone who watched the first one more than any other movie in college, including “Song of Norway” (no current franchise offer).

Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

Please lordy, if you are indeed up there, get into the minds of Halcyon, and make this happen. Thanks.

Adrian Pasdar Fired From "Heroes"?!

2009-11-02T22:15:00.002-08:00

I don't know why this show is getting such a bad rep, I have watched from Season 1 Episode 1, and still enjoy it even today. Of course this is a show about superheroes, so the majority of viewers consist of nerdy fanboys who are never ever pleased no matter what you try to do. Anyways....

Word comes today that Adrian Pasdar has been let go from the show. No reason was given as to why he was fired, but most think it was due to just cut costs since the show has been having some lousy ratings lately. Anyways, doesn't matter to me, I wasn't ever a Nathan Petrelli fan. But, this time it is for real, Nathan has died, well a lot already on the show, but now it seems that his death this season, is for really reals. Bye Flying Man.

Bunch Of Jerks Mentioned On The FM Radio?!

2009-11-02T01:14:00.000-08:00

After posting the blog about how bad ass 93.3 KDKB is, they in turn returned the shout out favor! Take a listen....

93.3 KDKB. The Only Reason FM Radio Lives On

2009-11-02T00:30:00.000-08:00

I'll admit it, I am a Sirius subscriber. I can't help it, I crave music, and I am a Stern fan. So I went to Sirius. FM radio grew stale, hearing the same songs over and over, or having to sit through 15 minutes of commercials to listen to 2 songs before going back to more commercials. But, sometimes I find myself back to FM radio. And the main reason being is KDKB.

I am a fan of Rock. And a fan of Metal. And KDKB delivers both to me. They don't play the "popular" songs all the time, or the biggest hits all the time. Sometimes they will play some deep tracks from a great album and that is what I like to hear. I don't wanna hear Disturbed 20 times in an hour like most FM Rock stations do. KDKB sticks to the greats, like Kiss, Judas Priest, AC/DC, Guns N Roses, and so on.

On top of that, another reason I venture back to FM radio instead of Sirius, is because of the price change that Sirius did. Where if you wanna listen online, you have to pay an extra amount of money on top of what you already pay. And when I wanna listen to music, it's times like now, at 1 in the morning, when I'm writing blogs, or just relaxing at home, so I go online and tune in at http://www.kdkb.com/ where I can listen to their live stream whenever I want. In doing so, I have discovered, Domonick. Who is pretty much the best rock DJ that Radio here in Phoenix AZ has to offer. Sadly he is only one late at night, a couple nights out of the week. If he was to be my drive home DJ, or on more frequently, then I would probably tune into FM radio more often. Too often did I get annoyed with the radio DJs, talking over the music, rambling on and on forever instead of just playing some music, but this guy gets it done, plays good music, and Domonick and the crew at KDKB, are the reason why I still turn the source on my radio to FM. If only all stations could be like them, then the world might be a more peaceful place, of ROCK.

Catch Domonick Sunday and Monday nights from Midnight to 5:00am.

Check out Domonicks page here.

Random Villain: Advice Giver?!

2009-11-01T21:22:00.001-08:00

Seeking advice? Stuck in a rut and not sure what to do with your life? In love with that special someone but have an STD and don't know how to go about breaking the news?

Then ask Random Villain. Send in your questions in the comment section, and every couple days or so, a video will appear, then just watch and see if the advice you were seeking gets answered!

Random Villain. Helping lives, move along. One video at a time.

Spirit Halloween-A-Thon

2009-10-31T05:15:00.001-07:00

So Spirit Halloween, where I work, stayed open all night..... Yeah.

Top 5 Hottest Halloween Costumes

2009-10-30T01:02:00.000-07:00

Workin in a Halloween store has many perks. The best of all, being to check out the hot chicks who try on the skimpy slutty costumes. So I figured I would name off my top 5 faves that I have had the pleasure of checkin out this year...

5. Miss Krueger

4. Wanda The Wizard

3. Ghostbuster

2. Snow White

1. Wednesday Addams

Heidi Klum Naked and Covered in Chocolate - Happy Halloween!

2009-10-29T23:57:00.000-07:00

This weekend is Halloweeen, and this is probably the best, sort of Halloween related thing I've seen all week (chocolate is part of Halloween? Right?) New book out entitled "Rankin's Heidilicious," which is a book that doesn't require much reading, just viewing of lots of hot Heidi Klum pics. Of course these sort of books are supposed to be "artsy," but we're looking at Heid Klum's boobs and ass with chocolate dripping all over her, we're not thinking "artsy." The chocolate boobies are only a portion of the pics, as there are plenty of other hot pics without the chocolate. Here are some of the hot pics, but quite frankly, the chocolate pics aren't safe for viewing here (too much nudity in every one,) so check out the Heidi Klum naked chocolate pics here.

My thoughts on Hulk Hogan in TNA

2009-10-29T23:08:00.001-07:00

So people wanna know my thoughts on Hulk Hogan in TNA. Well here are those thoughts, plus my thoughts on fans reactions to it.

Site Saved!! Talking To A Girl

2009-10-29T21:14:00.001-07:00

So some idiot thinks we should talk to girls... So here ya go.

Suplex City: Population 2

2009-10-29T18:08:00.001-07:00

Yeah for some reason this got titled duplex? stupid iPhone

autocorrect!

Vengeance!

2009-10-29T17:34:00.001-07:00

A man jumping a chain.

2009-10-29T17:14:00.000-07:00

So we decided to take the game of jump rope to a whole new level.