It's true Internet, I forgive you

As you may or may not know I had some time ago purchased a domain name of my own and had been running my very own fancy-schmancy website/blog at geekjane.com. Well I realized that the best thing for me to do was revert back to this simple yet completely lovable wordpress blogette where I did some of my best (and most consistent) writing.

Other reasons for abandoning my geeky domain were of course factors (who will remain nameless and soulless) but that’s neither here nor there. Word to the webwise: Never, ever, put your blogs Google adsense account in the name of someone not worthy of anyone’s trust. Lesson learned.

So, whew, here I am. As usual hoping for the best. Hope you continue to enjoy.

Watchmen

Starring: Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson, Carla Gugino
Rating: Major R (graphic everything)
Release Date: March 6, 2009
Basis: Graphic Novel by Alan Moore & Dave GibbonsI had really high expectations for this movie as did I’m sure most people who had read the graphic novel (and probably most who didn’t). I had done quite a bit of keeping up with the filming and news regarding how the adaptation of it would look on screen so I wasn’t really in for any big surprises. Or so I thought. Some have called ‘Watchmen‘ the greatest graphic novel of all time. I wouldn’t necessarily say that but it would be one of my top three so far, since I have only recently gotten into reading them.

I think by now most people have at least some idea what the film is about since there has been an enormous amount of publicity surrounding the film whether it be from the lawsuit that almost prevented it from being released or from all the trailers and buzz on the web. But just in case you didn’t know the basic idea for the film surrounds a group of ex-superheroes who ban together again after one of them is murdered. Each one of their stories gets told and through the telling the mystery slowly begins to unravel.

The Comedian/ AKA total a-hole

There were a lot of things I liked about the movie. Obviously visually it was amazing. The whole tone of the film and it’s setting was perfect for the storyline and it had some of the best fight scenes I’ve seen in a while. Of course there was quite a bit of gore which I expected and appreciated since toning that part of it down would have been disappointing. The acting wasn’t bad at all and I liked the fact that it really showed the human side of superheroes while most similar movies don’t. That was the purpose of the graphic novel I think, to show that realistically we might not want people to exist with super-powers. Just like the rest of us, they have the ability to do good and evil so with that kind of power given to them how would it be controlled.

Unfortunately, as with most all movies where a great deal of hype is involved, this one had some flaws. I can easily see how someone not familiar with the graphic novel would have been totally lost through most of the first part. It was a bit confusing going from past to present rapidly and not really explaining things until towards the end. But perhaps the creators of the movie expected that most people seeing it would already understand the story and follow along easily. I can understand that too because in the theater opening night I was surrounded by mostly the geek crowd (my peers) and most people were clapping at the end and hung out afterwards to talk about it.

What's with the horns?

My biggest problem with the movie (other than Dr. Manhattan’s penis being it’s own character and making many appearances & that horned tiger thing) was that it took itself extremely seriously. There were meanings inside meanings inside meanings and one of the final sequences where things start to come together had at least 6 epiphanies within a few minutes. That was enough to either make you really confused or really annoyed. I got to the point where I was just thinking to myself “just let it be over with already”. After the countless “ah hah!” moments by the end I was just ready to go; I think that had some of the really deeply dramatic themes not been revealed at once it would have been easier to swallow.

I totally get that the graphic novel was supposed to make its reader think and really dissect it’s imbedded metaphorical and even political themes but in film form viewers who aren’t total graphic novel nerds could easily have been overwhelmed. The graphic novel was meant to be read over and over so that one could truly appreciate it’s depth but when you watch a really long movie it’s much easier on an audience to have things more simple.

Final Kiss

I’m not saying that I would have done things differently because honestly I don’t know how, while staying true to the original story they could have done any better. Perhaps that is why they originally called this a movie that couldn’t be made.

Bottom Line: VISUALLY STUNNING BUT TRIES TOO HARD

baby ginger

I know I haven’t posted a cutetastic pic lately so here it is. This adorable little ginger is a Francois Langur Monkey at the Rotterdam Zoo, in The Netherlands. I totally want to go monkey-nap this little guy and keep him in one of those Baby Pikkolo’s.

Life Lived Backwards

Starring: Brad Pitt / Cate Blanchett / Taraji P. Henson / Tilda Swinton
Rating: PG-13 (Mild Adult Themes)
Basis: Short Story: F. Scott Fitzgerald
Release Date: December 25, 2008

I know I’m a little behind schedule on this one since it’s been in theaters since last Christmas, but honestly until last week I just wasn’t in the mood for a incredibly long drama. Once I finally broke down and saw it I barely noticed the running time which is quite an accomplishment (one I hope that Watchmen can achieve this weekend). The film is based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald (screenplay by Eric Roth) and the cast is far from unknown. Of course the other half of Brangelia is the main focus as Benjamin and the amazing Cate Blanchettt plays his love interest.

Basically to put it short but sweet the movie is about an infant whose body at birth is that of an incredibly old man. The poor child is abandoned by his terrified father after his mother dies in childbirth, and left on the doorstep of an elderly people’s home in New Orleans, Louisiana. Taken in by Queenie, a black woman who worked at the home, Benjamin is loved dearly by her and raised as her son. He goes through his life and his incredible adventures while all the time aging backwards. He meets Daisy at a young age who’s grandmother lives in the elderly home and they stay in contact throughout the years. They finally meet again in their forties when they are the same age and fall in love.

The story is narrated by Daisy’s daughter Caroline who is reading from Benjamin’s diary to her dying mother on the eve on Hurricane Katrina’s arrival in a hospital. Through the diary both Carolina and Daisy learn of all the challenges and experiences of his life that are both amazing and somewhat sad.

The Older Man

I found the movie very moving and even though I’m not known for being much of a sappy kind of girl I though it was both inspiring and a bit depressing at the same time. I was able to relate to many of the themes in the film as I would imagine most people would and loved the plot design and underlying metaphorical meaning of the story.

Daisy & Benjamin

As I stated before I didn’t mind the length of the film because I was so engulfed in the story that I didn’t notice how long I was there and I haven’t experienced that in a lengthy film since the LOTR’s trilogy. The acting by both Pitt and Blanchettt was as always excellent and I was pleasantly surprised by both Taraji P. Henson (Queenie) and Tilda Swinton who played Elizabeth Abbott, who Benjamin has a love affair with in his early twenties.

Bottom Line: WONDERFULLY MOVING DRAMA

Max is the King

I’m sure lots of kids have read the wonderful book Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendak. It’s a classic story of imagination and fantasy that has just been waiting to be made into a great film. Soon hopefully that great film will be hitting a theater nearby since it is now in post-production after filming started in 2005. Spike Jonze is directing this live action feature the screenplay of which he co-wrote with David Eggers. The basic storyline is as follows:

“One night Max dresses up in his wolf suit and does all kinds of things he shouldn’t, like chasing the dog with a fork. His mother scolds him and calls him a “WILD THING!” Max is so mad he shouts back, “I’LL EAT YOU UP!” As a result, his mother sends him to his bedroom without any supper. Max’s imagination transforms his bedroom into an extraordinary setting, with a forest and an ocean and a little boat that Max sails in until he comes to a land full of “wild things.” Although they look and sound very fierce, Max is able to tame them with a single glance. They all realize Max is “…The most wild thing of all” and make him their king. Max and the wild things have a fine time creating a rumpus until Max begins to want to be “…where someone loved him best of all.” Max’s fantasy ends when he smells his dinner. Despite the wild things’ protests, Max sails back to his own room where he finds his supper waiting for him. ” Via about.com

The images that have emerged of the film’s characters (some being up to 8 feet tall) are amazing and bring back warm memories of The Labyrinth and my love for Jim Henson. The Jim Henson Company who was also responsible for the Labyrinth’s creatures are responsible for the Wild Things and I cannot wait to see how the film turns out. I have a feeling it will be great, even without David Bowie in tight pants.

Beautiful Sunset

Classic to Craptastic

The writer of the film gives it a bit of a chance since Ronald D. Moore has signed on (New Battlestar Galactica Series) to the project. That might make it worth while but to counteract that goodness apparently a commercial director by the name of Matthijs Van Heijningen has gotten on board to direct this feature. Okay, so I know he’s also signed on to the new Army of the Dead project, but a commercial director? Really Hollywood? Well this is still in the early development stages so I will keep hoping that things start sounding better. Oh and by the way, would the film be in subtitles and if not then how would they get away with it?

Acclaimed director Ridley Scott is set to direct a film version of Monopoly, which seems like a waste to me. There are so many wonderful scripts and stories out there that would make for much better material but who knows, maybe Scott is just a really big fan of the game itself; I however tend to throw the tiny houses at people when I loose.

Board Game Movies: Who Really Wins?

Then there’s Candyland. With director Kevin Lima (Enchanted) and awesome writer Etan Cohen (Tropic Thunder) getting the production started it might be interesting especially if they try to put Gloppy (evil chocolate monster thing) in the mix. It would make for an interesting 3D film too I think. Not necessarily for the adult crowd but kids would love it and of course so would any other person on hallucinogenics.

It's Rainbow-rific

Last and at the very least is Clue. I am a big fan f the original Clue film which was released in 1985 with Christopher Lloyd, Tim Curry and the hilariously wonderful Madeline Kahn. I don’t see any reason why this movie needs a remake but then again, with the swarm of remakes happening all over Hollywood, I’m not that surprised. Gore Verbinski is set to helm the project. The 1985 version had somewhat of a small following and didn’t do well in theaters so the chances of a revamp doing well are slim to none.

Dream Home

Man, what I wouldn’t give to have the money to purchase this amazing Cave-dream home in Festus, MO. The Sleeper Family is unfortunately facing foreclosure on their uniquely fantastic home and has put it up for sale on none-other than Ebay(where they originally found the cave itself for sale). The home is equipped with 3 Bedrooms/2 Bathrooms, full kitchen and a massive party room in the furthest interior chamber. It is amazing to watch the transformation here on one of their sites full of pictures documenting the construction. I am totally going to look for cave’s for sale now on EBay!

Choke

DVD Review: Choke
Starring: Sam Rockwell / Anjelica Houston / Kelly Macdonald / Clark Gregg
Director: Clark Gregg
Rating: Major R
Writer: Based on “Choke” by Chuck Palahniuk
Released Date: February 17, 2009 DVD

One writer who is not exactly known for subtly would be Chuck Palahniuk. His novels are abrasive, offensive and yet completely hilarious. It’s a guilty pleasure I guess you could say and Choke is probably one of the worst as far as out-right repulsiveness of all his works. I knew this movie was going to be funny but I also watched it with a bit of apprehension due to how uncomfortable the novel of his I am currently reading has been so far. I was prepared to be shocked and possibly nauseated by its content from the beginning.

I was not disappointed by the gross-out factor but like his books the movie had a deeper meaning behind the unabashed crudeness of the character’s behavior. The basis for the story is surrounding Victor (Sam Rockwell): a self proclaimed sex addict who is completely incapable of having a meaningful relationship due to his unconventional and perhaps emotionally abusive upbringing by his mother played by Anjelica Houston.

The backbone of Colonial America

Victor spends most of his time as a “tour guide” at a colonial park and has a habit of fake choking on food in restaurants in order to have wealthy sympathetic individual feel that they have saved his life. Once these strangers have “saved” him from choking he depends on their charity financially for the rest of his life as a sort of responsibility he feels they have for rescuing him. The money he receives allows him to pay for a private hospital for his mother who suffers from severe dementia barely knowing who he is when he visits her.

There is a pretty even balance of shock-humor, witty dialogue and drama in the film that gives it meaning and makes it somewhat identifiable. It is full of metaphors and sucessfully pulls of visually projecting the writing technique of Palahniuk. I was horrified at times by the events that take place but like whenever I watch WifeSwap I just can’t look away no matter how bad it gets. The ending ties up things rather well and still leaves a bit of mystery to the story which I think is good. I enjoyed it but I wouldn’t watch with many people because it’s rather offensive.

Bottom Line: VERY DARK DRAMEDY W/ MAJOR SHOCK VALUE

The Rich Get Richer

Okay, so by now most people have heard about these God-awful bailouts that congress is just throwing at banks. Most people know that the only people benefiting from these bailouts are the stinking-rich executives that need a good ass-kicking from each and every person who they’ve casually laid off.

Well I’ve just found out about one particular scum-bucket bank who decided to not only take a 1.6 billion dollar bailout that they claim they didn’t even request, but to add insult to injury they just recently threw a HUGE bash in L.A to celebrate the Northern Trust Open at the Riviera Country Club for the PGA.

There are no words for how completely horrible this is. The bash lasted most of the week following the PGA and included performances by Sheryl Crowe, Chicago and Earth Wind and Fire (who are all on my crap list from here on out). Guests dined on fillet and seared salmon and the ladies received gift bags from Tiffany & Co. We can only hope that they all got horrific food poisoning…

The cost of all these INSANELYexpensive treats for the filthy rich? Millions…I can’t even imagine a punishment bad enough for these people. There has to be some kind of repercussions for these banks who WASTE OUR MONEY! So much for “Change”. I am incredibly disappointed in our congress who probably got some kind of kick-back for these bailouts.

Oh and I forgot to mention, this bank who threw the lavish cash burning bash laid off 4% of their workforce in December of last year. That’s 450 working class folks who most likely wouldn’t have even been on the guest list to begin with. As they say, The Rich get Richer, and the Poor get Poorer.

Gno-moon

These two are a combo of a great Book Clock that would look just perfect in my office and of course what good is a lawn if it isn’t offensive? Right? Everyone needs a vulgar gnome for the neighbors. They have also a gnome that’s taking a visit to the loo but I liked this one better. No one wants gnome poop in their yard.

Sweaty palms need not purchase

Then there’s the Tattoo To-Do-List. Who hasn’t been shopping and totally forgotten what they left the house for? I mean, I do it all the time. And carrying around a little piece of paper with a list is just too much of a hassel, so problem solved: Tattoo it!. Added Plus: Saves paper, save trees!!

yay for new toner!!

Last but not least there are these adorble little office stickers. I could think of a few places to put these little treasures. And yea, I do like the smell of Markers, got a problem with that?

Possession?

Starring: Carice Van Houten, Jenn Murray
Writer Director: Agnès Merlet
DVD Release: February 10, 2009
Origin: Ireland

I watched this movie last night with my wonderful Mom (HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!) and was a bit apprehensive about it because the cover of the DVD described the film as “A Modern Version of The Exorcist“. Now that is quite a claim to begin with. The Exorcist is widely believed to be one of the most horrifying films ever made, so to make that kind of comparison and advertise it is not necessarily something I would recommend. But still I had read a few decent reviews of Dorothy Mills from my favorite horror sites around the web and wanted to see what it was about.

The movie starts out a bit slow and honestly doesn’t really pick up much from there. It’s an interesting and somewhat unique concept for a plot line but not at all in any comparison to The Exorcist. Basically Jane is a psychologist who is hired to evaluate a teenage girl named Dorothy Mills in a small town who is accused of molesting and injuring an infant. Jane travels to the town where it’s occupants are extremely strange and uncooperative from the get go.

Jane's Freaking Out

About 30 minutes into it I was totally sure that the plot was going down a certain line with Dorothy having DID or Multiple Personalities. But of course, that is what the writer and director want you to think until it is revealed that her personalities are those of dead teens who are seeking vengeance on the town’s secrets. That gives away some of the plot but not enough to keep you from seeing it because there is a lot more to the story than just ghosts.

Unfortunately not the entire story gets explained in the end and it leaves you with a lot of questions. And to me it seemed pointless to try so hard to make an audience see things one way for half of a film only to have it completely flipped and in the end still not make sense. It was worth the rental but I think that it could have been done better. The acting by Jenn Murray (Dorothy) and Carice van Houten (Jane) is excellent even if the story line was a bit lacking.

Bottom Line: WORTH THE RENTAL

The Haunting in Connecticut: I had previously reported on this one being on my Must See list and have just found out that the release date has been changed from much later in the summer to March 27, 2009. I am totally thrilled to find this out since the horror genre has been quite lack-luster lately (ahem…Friday the 13th/My Bloody Valentine). Now I don’t have to wait as long to check this supernatural thriller out.

A Sequel with Potential

Sequel – 30 Days of Night 2: I thought the first 30 Days of Night was great and am a big fan of the graphic novel’s by Steve Niles so when I heard that a sequel was in talks with Niles as the screenwriter I got really excited. The graphic novel’s second installment follows Stella as she continues to track down the vamps and destroy them. I will however be very disappointed if Melissa George doesn’t reprise her role as Stella. That would just make the film seem DVD-release worthy.

The Hole 3D – This film is set to be released in 2010 and will have Haley Bennett (Haunting of Molly Hartley) playing the female friend of a pair of brothers who stumble upon a mysterious hole in their basement that will take them to a nightmarish place where their fears supposedly come to life. Now, I hope this film isn’t one of those 3D movies that wouldn’t have even been distributable had it not been given the 3D edge. It sounds more interesting than say other 3D “horror” films like My Bloody Valentine so I will be keeping up with its progress.

After.Life: Releasing just in time for Halloween of this year, this film is a bit iffy to me. Not that I don’t think the cast is great, I mean with Liam Neeson, Justin Long and Christina Ricci it couldn’t really be all that bad I would think. It’s just that the story line is so overplayed that it might just fall flat. Plot-wise it’s about a woman who is stuck between life and death and has to convince the funeral director not to burry her alive. It was originally set to star Kate Bosworth but I am much happier to hear that Ricci has taken over the role. And maybe Justin Long will even throw a little humor into the film which never hurts honestly.

Sci-Fi-Creature-Feature

Splice– Set to release in 2009 (sometime in September) this sci-fi horror film revolves around two geneticists who while experimenting with DNA and gene-splicing decide to throw some human-DNA-goodness into the mix with who knows what other creatures. This of course isn’t the best idea and leads to some pretty horrific consequences. The images I have seen of the “creature” are pretty amazing and I am really looking forward to seeing it. It is starring Adrien Brody and Sara Polley with Vincenzo Natali directing (Cube) and non-other than the wonderful Guillermo del Toro as executive producer. I would rate this one as a can’t miss.

Sequel – The Host 2: The original of this film was a South Korean monster movie that reminded me of a B-Horror film with expensive special effects. It had humor and all the emotional elements to make it more than just a CGI monster movie. The sequel is a joint production with China and South Korea with Chinese director Ning Hao on board and a reported 12-million dollar budget. It will follow the river where the monster dwells and will have more than one monster making an appearance. Hopefully this one is be worth seeing and make it to the states.

Through the Wall

Movie Review: Coraline 3D
Starring: Dakota Fanning, Teri Hatcher, Keith David and many more
Rating: PG (Not for Sensitive Kids)
Release Date: February 6, 2009
Original Novel: By Neil Gaiman

I went to see this last night since this past weekend I was a total lazy bum and pretty much did nothing but sleep and watch episodes of The Tudors. I had been kind of following it through rumor to release since I am a huge fan of anything and everything that Neil Gaiman does. Not to mention the fact that Henry Selick (director) is a freaking genius. I mean, have you seen The Nightmare Before Christmas? Anyways, so obviously I was very excited to see Coraline and the 3D part of it made it even more appealing.

I hadn’t read the book even though I had bought it when I heard the movie was going into pre-production. I will most likely read it now just to compare the two. The beginning of the film is a bit bleak and even the color scheme is very monotone to emphasize the ordinary attributes of Coraline’s new home that her Mom and Dad move to. Both her parents are writers and seem to have very little time for her which is unfortuante for Coraline who obviously wishes they were more involved with her life. She appears to feel neglected especially by her mother who isn’t exactly the nurturing type.

The Wormhole

She begins to explore the new house which is actually an apartment type building with the attic rented to an eccentric Russian gentleman who trains mice for a circus. The basement is rented to two older british ladies who seem just as strange and who appear to have at one time been actresses or performers. Coraline meets all of these characters along with her nearby neighbor Wybe (short for Why Born) who visually reminded me of the trick-or-treat kids from TNBC. He becomes what you might consider her friend mostly because he is the only one around that’s her age. Wybe also introduces her to his cat who is played by Keith David.

After the first day of exploring in the new home, Coraline resigns to bed and is quickly awakened by a tiny mouse who like Alice & the Rabbit leads her to the tiny door in the living room which is now open to a whole new world. This is where the 3D effects get really cool in the film. Coraline discovers on the other side of this wormhole a different life that mimicks her own but instead of being boring and ordinary it’s beautiful and exciting. Her “other” parents seem to adore her and make her the center of attention.

Mouse Circus

She wakes up the next morning back in her own real world with her real parents and this nightly escape into the “other” world continues until she discovers that what may seem to be the perfect life isn’t at all. It’s a classic lesson of the grass isn’t always greener on the other side (of the wall) and teaches kids to be happy with what they have even if it isn’t perfect. Once Coraline discovers the truth about the “other” world and the “other” mother she must play to win back her life and the souls of those that came before her.

Now, you might be saying to yourself “souls of other children?”. I have to say that some of the themes and images are definitely a bit grown up for a PG movie. Even the sowing of the buttons on a child’s eyes is a bit of a scary scenario for a little kid, but I think that the audience for this kind of film is not necessarily for young children. Sure it’s something that a 12 year old could handle but not kids much younger than that. The “other” mother eventually turns into a very freaky looking spider like creature that might give the little ones nightmares. Not to mention the scene of the “other” downstairs actress neighbors who lets just say have a very adult look.

In the end I really enjoyed this movie and can’t wait for it to come out on DVD so I can see the special features on how it was made. The credits showed that there were stop-motion and CGI techniques used so I’d love to see how they merged the two. I highly recommend it for anyone who loved either The Nightmare Before Christmas or James and the Giant Peach. It’s a great movie even if the audience for it is a little different than one might think from the commercials.

Bottom Line:  EXCELLENT FANTASY FILM

Oh the Horror!

So apparently there are rumors going around that a remake ofAlfred Hitchcock’s (1963) “The Birds“ is coming to the big screen. Now this is simply a rumor of course but it’s been reported that this rumor has been confirmed by Naomi Watts who is set to star as Lydia which was previous played by actress Jessica Tandy. Now I am not a big fan of birds in general, all that freaking noise and the fact that they like to relieve themselves all over my car (which I am sure they laugh about amongst themselves) make them less than like-able so a thriller/suspense classic like this could produce a decent remake.

Of course it will be near impossible to really re-create the definition of suspense like Hitchcock did, I think that with a director like Martin Campbell on board (Casino Royale) it might not be half bad. Not to mention I am a big fan of Naomi Watts. I will be keeping up with where this goes for sure.

No Ghosts

My literature consumption has been limited lately due to lack of time and energy. I have been reading Haunted by Chuck Palahniuk, who also wrote Fight Club & Choke. I haven’t read either of those but I loved the Fight Club film adaptation and the summary of Haunted seemed very interesting to me. This is the basic summary given by Amazon.com:

“Haunted is a novel made up of twenty-three horrifying, hilarious, and stomach-churning stories. They’re told by people who have answered an ad for a writer’s retreat and unwittingly joined a “Survivor”-like scenario where the host withholds heat, power, and food. As the storytellers grow more desperate, their tales become more extreme, and they ruthlessly plot to make themselves the hero of the reality show that will surely be made from their plight. This is one of the most disturbing and outrageous books you’ll ever read, one that could only come from the mind of Chuck Palahniuk. “-product description

I am currently about halfway through the book and the description “stomach-churning” is right on point. Chuck Palahniuk has a gift for giving in depth scenarios of some of the most sensitive subjects of our time. This book is neither for the squeamish nor for those who are offended easily. I have found myself disgusted and shocked many times thus far yet I can’t seem to put it down because the author makes the story itself so compelling. I will write a full review once I have finished it, if I can that is. Last night’s reading session was almost more than I could take so hopefully it won’t get any worse, although I’m doubtful on that one.

So just incase this literary adventure with Haunted doesn’t pan out I have a few others on my list that I am anxious to read. Most of which are horror novels (of course) but a few of them are more general fiction based. (No particular order)

Classic Zombie

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies: The Classic Regency Romance – Now with Ultraviolent Zombie Mayhem!: By  Jane Austen & Seth Grahame-Smith: From the information I have read on this novel/rewrite it pretty much can be described in the title itself; the classic novel plus zombies and gore. It’s a great idea and I can’t wait to read it. It hasn’t been released just yet but as soon as I can get it at my local B&N I will start reading. But I will say this, as cool as this idea sounds I would be greatly disappointed if more authors had the same idea and it turned into a rewrite fest like the Asian-horror remake fest that is being experienced in the US now.

Deeper by James A. Moore: My main interest in this book is it’s resemblance to the H.P. Lovecraftian fiction that has become more popular as of late. As a huge fan of anything Lovecraft, this aquatic monster tale is probably worth checking out. I have read other fan-fiction type short stories and even novels regarding Lovecraft’s creature Cthulhu and have enjoyed many of them so this one is probably my most favorite of this list, that is of course once it is released in May.

Ulrik by Steven E Wedel: This one is a little less interesting but still worth the read I’m sure. It revolves around the werewolf mythology and folklore by telling the story of a particular pack and it’s impending prophecy. I use to read a lot of werewolf books when I was younger so this will be interesting for me to somewhat reminisce and compare. It might be next on the list since it’s already available.

Professional Vamp

Fangland by John Marks: I bought this book before Christmas and was planning on reading it as soon as I got the chance but have been putting it off a bit. It offers a different reading style than most books with more of a documentation approach with e-mails, diary entries etc. It is a vampire novel of course but it also gives a glimpse into the business world and I am interested in seeing how the two can actually come together in a novel. Hopefully I won’t get bored with it.

The Haunting of Hill House by Shirley Jackson: A true classic in horror literature, this has been on my list of books to read for a while now and I really need to buckle down and get to it. I have read many a haunted house novel and quite a few ghost stories so this probably won’t be anything new to me but still the fact that it’s written by a woman in 1956 makes it worth my time. I just hope it’s not too similar to Matheson’s Hell House.

I am sure by next week there will be others to add to this list but for now this is what I’ve got. I will continue to pursue Haunted and try not to be too disturbed by it. But with short stories about everything from disembowelment by swimming pool to cross-dressing ex-military vigilantes, I’m sure the second half will be at the least interesting.

I knew there were sharks in my Pool!

Truly and awesome site. They have indoor stautes too as well as artwork and even office decor. Great Gargoyles too! Oh and since my birthday is coming up (sort of) check out the book ends…hint hint.

Harry & Roswell's Secret

The Uninvited

Starring: Emily Browing / Arrielle Kebbel / Elizabeth Banks / David Stratharin
Rating: PG-13 (Teens Admitted)
Release Date: January 30, 2009

Okay, I can admit when I might have judged a movie too soon. I was truly upset when I heard that this movie was even being made due to the fact that it is a remake of one of my top 5 favorite films of all time. Understandably still I had to see this remake to make my own conclusion of how American filmmakers would put their spin on it. Janghwa, Hongryeon (2003 South Korea) aka A Tale of Two Sisters, is an amazing film and my predetermined assumptions on The Uninvited had been based on previous remakes that aren’t even worth referencing here.

The original basically focused on two sisters. Having just recently come home from a stay in a mental institution the sisters return to find her father having remarried. The sisters encounter frightening apparitions and nightmares while at home but bond to one another against their stepmother whom they believe to be capable of harming them both aswell as being the possible suspect in the death of their mother. One particular sister, whom the main focus of the film is on, closely protects the other and slowly the real story begins to unravel through the flashbacks and haunting experiences until you see the truth.

The remake would have been a great deal more enjoyable had there not been 20+ tween/teens in the audience who were completely and totally annoying. One of whom I even knew. And the worst part was the management of the theater had to even escort a few of them out of the theater because they were talking and getting up constantly. One of the kids who was taken out of the theater was the kid sister of a couple of friends of mine. I came so close to just yelling her name and telling her to shut up. But that would have just added to the noise.

I have to say, NOTHING is more annoying when watching a movie in a theater than selfish little brats who have no idea how to act in public. This brings me to my main issue with the remake: its PG-13 rating. Had this film been rated R I wouldn’t have had to deal with these over-sized toddlers acting like they just went off their ADD meds.

I guess the filmmakers wanted to appeal to a larger audience so they could make more money off the film but it took away from the film in the end. The acting and casting I thought were great although it was a bit odd seeing Elizabeth Banks in a negative role. I honestly wouldn’t have casted her as the father’s girlfriend but I guess it wasn’t that bad of a choice. I would have chosen someone like Famke Janssen, who I am a big fan of. She would have been able to pull off the more sinister character a great deal more successfully.

There were a few changes to the story from the original but the basic ending plot twist remained the same, which was a relief for me. That plot twist makes the whole film not only make sense but it makes it worth watching.  I just knew the Americanized version would ruin the ending but I was pleasantly surprised. The more intense scenes were even pulled off well and of course the special effects were more graphic in this version although the cinematography may have lacked a little. This was one of those VERY rare cases where a remake actually adds to the original rather than takes away from it. Though some of the story line was different it still was worth seeing and may even encourage more people to watch the original.

Bottom Line:  A DECENT REMAKE

TwiCon09

ALERT: If you happen to be an tween/teen Twilight fan who is prone to emo/hystarical behavior please read no further. You have been warned.

Okay, as I’ve stated before I don’t particularly like to make negative comments about other sites but I have come across something that is honestly so ridiculous that it must be spoken out against. Ladies and Gentlemen I present to you: TwiCon. (btw the site is spectacularly slow probably due to the mass amount of prosti-tots trying to get to it). I know the atrocious nature of such an event may have your head spinning but I assure you, it’s real. This shocking obscenity came to my attention by browsing the Tag Surfer through wordpress and coming across a Twilight blog (twiblog if you will) the likes of which are popping up all over the net.

Some of TwiCon.org’s features: Get Cullenized. This feature basically gives those little scene-kid jerks some Photoshop eye color to make them look even more emo (or like “vampires”). The convention itself is in Dallas, TX July 30- August 2 of this year. The cost you ask? Well tweenz and teens alike will be asking their folks to cough up a nice chunk of change for these silly shenanigans. The conference itself is $255 to get admission and that doesn’t include hotel stay, food and travel expenses. Geez Ed Cullen, you aren’t a cheap date.

Oh and speaking of Edward Cullen, he won’t be there. No kiddies, the only “special” guests that will be appearing are the secondary characters that probably have nothing better to do. Ed and Bella apparently are not fan friendly enough to show. But can you really blame them? When I saw Twilight the movie (yea I admit it) the theater was FULL of 13 year olds who talked & texted through the whole thing. If those were your main fan base as an actor, would you want to indulge them further? I didn’t think so.

Perhaps I am a little bitter against the whole TwiPhenom but to be frank, I just don’t see the merit in making it such a staple in vampire fandom. Being a big fan of the whole vampire folklore and media trend I was hugely disappointed by this installment for two reasons. Personally I think Stephanie Meyer’s writing is like 5th grade reading material. At least with JK Rowling’s Harry Potter mania the literature itself attracts mature audiences due to the fact that it is actually well written. And furthermore the “vampire” creatures in her work (if you could even call them that) are so lame and boring that the mere idea that they are vampires at all is just a marketing gimmick to get teens to read the romance aspect of it. I guess I just like my vamps dark and creepy, call me old fashioned.

The Rocker

Starring: Rainn Wilson, Christina Applegate, Jeff Garlin, Teddy Geiger
Rating: PG-13
Release Date: DVD Jan 27, 2009
Rotten Tomato’s 73%

This is just a short review since there isn’t really much to say about The Rocker that you probably couldn’t already guess from the commercials. I am a big fan of Rainn Wilson from his role on The Office so I was looking forward to seeing this movie. As I had expected he did a really good job and managed to keep the PG-13 rating so the audience isn’t just limited to adults.

I was also really impressed by the music in the film which was very good thanks to Teddy Geiger who plays Curtis. He has a great voice and has quite a few other musical credits that I didn’t even know about. Overall this is a pretty funny movie that’s worth renting and even watching with your parents. Oh and the cameo’s from the SNL guys & Bradley Cooper were totally hilarious. Not the mention those outfits…seriously there should be a museum for the horrific attire that was made popular in the 80’s. Those fashions belong behind glass, and should stay there forever.

Best One Liners:
A lot of elevators play Celine Dion – that doesn’t make it right.
Are you kidding me? Look at him, it’s like Abercrombie is making people now.
Some people carry a rabbit’s foot; I like to rock a pocket of puke.

Bottom Line: TOTALLY RENTABLE

The Dead Girl

Starring:Toni Collette, Marcia Gay Harden, Josh Brolin, Brittany Murphy, Kerry Washington, James Franco, Rose Byrne, Giovanni Ribisi, Mary Beth Hurt
Rated: R (Language etc.)
Release Date: DVD May 15, 2007
Writer Director: Karen Moncrieff

I got to see this movie last night on Showtime and watched the whole thing even though I hadn’t planned to. It just caught my attention and pulled me in to the point where I just had to see what happened next. Here is a brief synopsis from IMDB.com © (jhailey):

In Los Angeles, a story about a dead girl, told in five chapters. A woman, miserable in her circumscribed life caring for her domineering mother, finds a body. Somehow, this discovery allows her to change. At the morgue, the sister of a girl missing for 15 years believes the body is that of her sister; this liberates her. An older woman, married to a man who pays her little attention, finds evidence in a storage unit; how will she handle it? The mother of the dead girl, who left home some years before, visits the last place her daughter lived and makes her own discoveries. Last, we flash back to the victim’s final day.

I thought that this movie was very thought provoking and extremely well written. Not the mention that the performances by the cast were right on point. Every single character had a key role to play and you could easily empathize with each woman’s individual struggle with their circumstances. Every character’s story brought you closer to figuring out what happened to this girl that in one way or another connected them.

The story starts out with Arden (Toni Collette) who finds the body. She is completely repressed and controlled by her sadistic mother. When this body is found she seems to turn a corner in her life and set herself free. Then it moves on to the sister (Rose Byrne) of a girl whose family fell apart after she disappeared 15 years earlier. She plays this character, Leah, with a great deal of passion and really portrayed depression in a way that I could connect with.

Next it moves on to Ruth (Mary Beth Ray) who plays the neglected and frustrated wife of an introverted man. She makes a shocking discovery in a storage space of her husbands. Ruth is a character that it is easy to dislike right away and who really holds to key to the entire story. What she does with it I won’t say because it will ruin the ending.

Melora (Marcia Gay Harden) plays a mother who’s daughter ran away years ago for reasons she never understood until she finds the place her daughter last lived at. There she uncovers the heartbreaking life that her daughter was leading and why she ran away in the first place. In the end her story is filled with a renewed sense of purpose in life. Lastly Krista’s (Brittany Murphy) story fills in the remaining gaps and we find out how her last day was spent.

All the characters were important to the story and gave you a different perspective on the lives that people lead. This was one of those movies that makes an impact in your mind and stays with you, unlike most of those more expensive films that you forget the moment the credits role. I think possibly the most underappreciated role in this film was that of Rosetta (Kerry Washington) who did an amazing job portraying a character that I wouldn’t have ordinarily pictured her playing.

Bottom Line: WELL WRITTEN MUST SEE DRAMA
]]> https://briteidea.wordpress.com/2009/01/30/dvd-review-the-dead-girl/feed/ 2 briteidea thedeadgirlmovie https://briteidea.wordpress.com/2009/01/29/cutetastic-your-daily-dose/ https://briteidea.wordpress.com/2009/01/29/cutetastic-your-daily-dose/#respond Thu, 29 Jan 2009 22:21:29 +0000 http://briteidea.wordpress.com/?p=439 Here it is: Your daily dose of the cute. Prepare yourself to be swarmed by cutetastic-warm-feelings. This one is brought to you by the French Bulldog who is absolutely adorable. I want one of these and of course a pug too.

Did somebudy say treatz?

You know, sometimes when I’m having a bad day I just look up puppy pictures and all my troubles melt away. And yes, I meant for that to rhyme. Deal wit it.

Iz all eahrs

Deeper into Darkness

The Descent: Part 2
Staring: Shauna Macdonald (Most of Original Cast)
Rating: Not Yet Rated
Release Date: None Scheduled yet for the USAs a huge fan of the original Descent, it makes sense that I would be a bit apprehensive about this turning into a franchise that basically milks the basic plot for all it’s worth, but I have to say that from some of the photos I’ve seen it might not be so bad after all. With most of the original cast and a decent storyline it might have a chance at actually adding to the original rather than taking away.

The original followed a group of cave explorers into the Appalachian Mountains where they encounter a lot more than seriously old rocks. This one will pick up where that left off and Sara will be forced back into that cave system to help find her friends who didn’t make it out. I will be interested to see where this goes, if anywhere since a release date for the US hasn’t even been scheduled yet.

Love, Undying

Grace
Staring: Jordan Ladd, Gabrielle Rose. Stephen Park
Rating: R (Major Gore)
Release Date: 2009 US ReleasePremiering at Sundance, this movie is sure to cause some people a lot of distress with it’s subject matter alone not to mention from what I’ve read a tremendous amount of gore. It is a story about a woman who after trying for a while to get pregnant finally does. It sounds as if it starts off a bit like Rosemary’s Baby where other people are influencing the mother on how she should handle the pregnancy in possibly creepy ways but I will have to see it to really hold down a statement like that.

The baby is delivered as a stillborn but comes back to life a few seconds later. Obviously when things come back to life in a scary movie its bad news bears so you can imagine that it goes down hill from there. This is definitely a must see for me because any horror movie where people actually faint during the original screening has got to be worth $8 bucks.

Crying Inside

Ummm…No. Okay, just no. Listen up American movie makers, think up your own ideas already. I am fed up with these remakes of foreign films that were Awesome just the way they were. Does Hollywood think that we Americans can’t read? Gosh. And honestly, if you can’t think up your own idea, read a book! There are tons of wonderful & compelling novels out there just waiting to hit the big screen.

I have just found out that one of the best comedy’s I’ve ever seen, Death at a Funeral, is going to be remade as an American film. That is just down right insulting. I mean, the original IS IN ENGLISH! And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the role of “Daniel” played by Matthew MacFadyen will now be played by…wait for it…Chris Rock? There are no words. Just no words. That makes about as much sense as Leprechaun 4: In Space (yea, it’s real. Look it up).

As if that wasn’t enough, oh no Hollywood you had to just keep on pushing it. I have also found out that a remake of Let the Right One In is in the works. That was an amazing movie (and book) which should be left completely alone. And furthermore, it was released in the US, which means that literate American audiences have already seen it on the big sceen. Geez…

Via Cake Nouveau Site

As you may already know, I love baked goods. One of my previous posts was about these awesome Nightmare Before Christmas cakes that I had found and absoultely loved. And then there was the adorable Cookie Monster Cupcake too. I have found a couple of neat little sites that have some amazing and hilarous baked items that you might enjoy. Also, since I posted a couple of neatorific TNBC cakes earlier, here is another one from CakeNouveau.com that is fantastic.

These little cupcake cuties came from Bakerella’s site on blogspot. She even has some instructional posts on how to make other too-pretty-to-eat baked goods. I would try to make some like these but would most likely fail miserably. And speaking of fail, CakeWrecks site has some of the funniest cake disasters I’ve ever seen. You know how your local grocery store has sometimes that bizzare “specialty” cake that you can’t quite make out? Well this site has tons of photos from grocery stores and other bakeries cake mishaps.

Via Bakerella's Site

I can’t believe that I am admitting that I watch this, but my Monday night usually consists of dinner and A&E. I am an avid believer in the paranormal, whatever the paranormal may be. I do not pretend to know the answer to what causes strange things to happen. Especially when they happen around my 100+ year old renovated house, but they do happen and I’m not afraid to admit it. So naturally the show Paranormal State interested me when I saw the commercials.

I have seen almost every episode, the good & the not so great, and I have to say that last night’s episode was terrible. Honestly they must not have enough content for the whole season and just picked that footage out of the trash so they wouldn’t have to play a re-run.

It was basically about a mother whose young daughter was supposedly being plagued by a “vampire lady” who would come to her in her room. PRS (paranormal research society from Penn State University) came to the rescue to try and figure out what was going on.

I could see right away that the child was most likely having night terrors or nightmares and the mother was being perhaps a bit too dramatic. I mean if hypothetically my child told me there was a vampire in their room then I would just simply tell them they were having a bad dream and not let them watch late night scary movies on cable anymore. I would not invite a paranormal research society to my house and have them investigate a “vampire”. Common sense folks, it’s rare but definitely necessary in some situations.

So, this Mom does the whole crying thing out of supposed desperation and even goes as far as to call the PRS team members from their hotel room to her house in the middle of the night because her daughter cried out for her and she got scared. I am all for being there for your child when they are scared at night, but there has to be a limitation.

In the end there was no real resolution other than a brief scene where the mother tells whatever is in the house to move on. That apparently does the trick. Surprise surprise. Now, don’t get me wrong, there are definitely some strange things that do happen and I am what you might call a skeptical believer but that whole episode was a bit too much. I like the show but from now on I will be a bit unsure about their methods.

Oh, and did I mention that they had this go-go-gadget EMF reading helmet that supposedly caused the wearer to be more sensitive to activity? Mmkay, that sounds a bit made up and possibly bought off eBay.

1-800-AWE-SOME

So I got a new cell phone. My old phone was the LGVX something, I can’t remember exactly what model and it got terrible reception. I was constantly trying to find service, even in downtown. So I my plan was up for renewal and I have that new-every-two-year program which gives me $50 bucks off of any new phone. I bought the enV2 in the color Maroon which cost me $0 bucks. Not bad at all. It is shipping overnight to my house and I can’t wait to get it. No more typing texts on a tiny keypad.

Say Cheese!

I also found this awesome website that generates a President Obama type icon that is similar to his most famous portrait. Here is what mine turned out looking like. Not bad I think. There were some really funny ones on there too of celebrities with witty captions. Great site.

I have been doing some random research for a new book I am going to begin writing soon and have come up with very little results. I am trying to find any and all information I can on underground homes. I think that the concept of them is really inventive and as a person who enjoys privacy I think one would be awesome to live in. Imagine an open field with no clues as to what is beneath it until you open the hatch covered by fake grass and go below. It would be weather and government proof (possibly tax proof too!); completely resistant to just about everything including sound. Not to mention the fact that I would save tons in energy costs because the earth below stays a cool 50 degrees. Now, I wouldn’t be hiding from anything in particular, I just think that it would be a cool and different take on living space. 

Propaganda

Not to mention the fact that celebrities are supposedly already building these structures such as Tom Cruise who is planning to protect himself from alien attack (specifically that jerk “Xenu”). Yes, you may laugh but those Scientologists may know a thing or two.  I mean, they have their own book and movie deal. Haven’t you seen Battlefield Earth? How could anyone not believe that stuff was true? (*cough* truly awful *cough*)

My book is still in the outline process but I need this research in order to proceed with a certain part of it. It’s a shame there isn’t more information about these structures on the Internet. My previous efforts at creating a novel have failed because of poor planning. So this time I will take all the time I need to outline and plan out the process. I have so many ideas in my head it’s hard to pick out the right ones to write down sometimes. Short stories are so much easier to write and are more fun at times but that is not what I have set out to accomplish this time. Hopefully all will go well.

Toni Collette

Okay, so I don’t mean to chug the hater-aid or anything on this one site’s post but it honestly was a bit upsetting. It was regarding the new Showtime Series The United States of Tara. The site “Videogum” posted a blog about how the show was completely unbelievable and made no sense. This blogger hinted that the medical condition itself (DID aka Dissociative identity disorder) made no sense or, if you read between the lines, that it is made up. These kinds of criticisms really bother me because there are a lot of people out there who think that actual medical conditions that people have are “made-up” or “all in their heads”.

Let me just say this…if you are not a medical doctor then you cannot tell any other living being that a medical condition they have been diagnosed with by a medical doctor does not exist. End of story. Doing this makes you look completely ignorant and arrogant. Not to mention when I browsed around the other areas of the site it was nothing but negative comments about pretty much everything. Each post was downing someone or something.

Seriously, if you’re that negative about life get some meds for your head and a tissue for your issues. Nuff said.

As for the show I mentioned, I have watched all of the two episodes that have aired and think it’s a great show. It has a very talented cast and then of course there’s Diablo Cody who is truly gifted at writing. I think the show gives others a glimpse into what it’s like to truly be in a family where a medical condition changes every persons life but still manages to bring them together. Plus it’s pretty funny too. But of course all of the above is just my opinion and not intended to start a web-feud. So save the drama for yo mama.

"Based" on True Story

Drag Me To Hell: May 29, 2009
Starring: Alison Lohman & Justin Long
I want to see this one simply because of Sam Rami. It looks pretty interesting besides that fact also but that is the main reason. Hopefully this won’t be another disaster like The Unborn. Basically it’s about a woman who gets a curse placed upon her and she has to frantically try to remove it before it’s too late. I am interested to see Justin Long in a more serious film too. He’s absolutely hilarous in what movie’s I have seen of his and I hope he call pull this one off well. I’d say it’s worth the $8.00.

The Haunting in Connecticut: June 19, 2009
Starring: Virginia Madsen & Kyle Gallener
I saw the original Discovery Channel “A Haunting” episode where this story first became known. Apparently the writers of the film saw it too, and liked it as much as I did. I remember thinking when I watched it that it would make a great movie. It centers around a family moving into a haunted house and the supernatural shenanigans focus themselves on one of the sons. It looks really great and I’m hoping for something similar to the classic Amityville Horror.

Orphan: July 24, 2009
Starring: Peter Sarsgaard, Vera Farmiga
With a simple premise and a creepy kid, this seems like it could be a bit predictable but I’m always up for the whole scary child idea. I guess this is because I loved The Ring so much and the idea of something that is supposed to be innocent actually being evil is a great recipe for a horror film. But in that same aspect, it’s been done before and could be a snorefest. We shall see.

Daybreakers: September 11, 2009
Starring: Ethan Hawke / Sam Neill / Willem Dafoe
This movie has a 50/50 shot for me. The Spierig brothers who directed a pretty decent zombie film (Undead) previously, should do a good job on this one I hope. It’s a futuristic vampire movie, which honestly sounds all too familiar with the recent release of I Am Legend, but this one is more along the lines of the novel by Richard Matheson instead of the Will Smith remake with the vampires being intelligent and organized instead of mindless CGI freaks. *crosses fingers*

The Bad:

The Box: November 6, 2009
Starring: Cameron Diaz & James Marsden
This one has a few good things going for it to start off, such as the fact that it is based on a short story by Richard Matheson & directed by Richard Kelly (Donnie Darko). But, that is where the good things end. It stars two people who obviously don’t belong in a horror movie. I mean, come on? Cameron-Blonde-Dummy-Diaz and All-American-Poster-Boy James Marsden in a scary movie is like casting Jessica Alba in anything. It makes no sense. I just can’t get past the cast I guess. But because of Matheson, I just might give it a try.

And the Stupid:

Why?

The Uninvited: January 30, 2009
Starring: Emily Browning & Elizabeth Banks
This is not something that should have ever even been made. The original Tale of Two Sisters or Janghwa, Hongryeon (Korean) was amazing and should have been left completely alone to begin with. It is one of my all time favorite movies and I was very upset to hear that it would be another in a long line of terrible Americanized remakes. I guarantee it will be nothing like the original because the writer/director will have changed something to make it more appealing to what they think American audiences will enjoy. That will make it suck. So I will go see it but I’m not happy about it. 
(And also Elizabeth Banks+horror movie=Stupid)