my wife is wacko.
yes
and?
that’s right…take the big pile of cookies and walk away
now she boogies
in underwear
with finger pointing
looking at me with wary eyes
“laundry has been in there for a long time”
“stinks” she says
no duh
mold.

My wife is absolutely insane. This is a phrase I’m sure uttered by many a husband, so it is nothing new, really. I don’t feel like I am isolated in feeling this way, or that I have witnessed some new and exciting form of insanity in my wife. I just simply feel that she is utterly fucking nuts.

Each day my wife achieves new heights of insanity. She climbs the mountain of ill mental health, whose top is obscured by clouds. Already she has reached thousands and thousands of feet above ground, but the clouds force her to stop.

There are two types of insane women: The type who see the clouds and assume they can go no further, and the kind who know that the clouds are simply obscuring the even greater heights they could achieve; for these women, the clouds are taunting, a dare of sorts. In essence, there are those who are insane and simply stay insane, and those who say to themselves, “This isn’t over. That son of a bitch goes at least another few hundred feet, and I’ll be dammed if I’m just going to stop at crying maniacally over a burnt batch of cookies.”

My wife is of the latter persuasion. Each day I think she has gone as far as she can go. Having seen the cloudy roof wrapped around her insanity mountain, she has stopped. Then, the alarm goes off and someone hands her a brand new pickax and another length of rope. No patch of fog is going to keep her from the summit. Though she cannot see the actual peak of this frightening monstrosity, she weathers on, knowing that someday, somehow, she will achieve her dream of peak insanity.

At that moment she will jump and cheer, her body aching from years of agonizing climbing, the equivalent of climbing Everest, ten steps at time, morning, noon and night. After celebrating, she will pull out her flag (which features a cross-eyed face doing the “loop-de-loop” motion to the right of it’s ear, signifying craziness) and plant it squarely into the mad ground. She will have achieved her goal, her dream, her one true expression of just how hard she has worked in this life.

But that’s just fine by me, you see, because I always have a wide grin on my face these days, knowing that she is by my side, that she is mine, that we had found one another and were smart enough to know that when it’s right, it’s right. I will feel this way for as long as I live: during arguments, tough times, while raising children, no matter what. I may forget on the surface at times, but deep in my heart I will always know it is right.

Even when she murders me in my sleep.

My marriage license arrived today, November 9th, after nearly a week’s delay.

I was married to the women of my dreams on October 17th, and while I did think of him on my wedding day, it did not occur to me that the anniversary of his death was right around the corner.

Something tells me that he did not want any of us–my Mother, my Aunt and my Cousin–thinking about his death on that day.

So instead he made sure that the license was delayed and arrived today. Not on a random Tuesday, a random November 6th, or any other day. The envelope could have been stuck between the cushions of the mail truck, or slid under the seat, but I don’t believe that. We should all accept that things happen for a reason.

And he wanted that envelope to arrive today: the day he had to leave us. We could remember and then rejoice.

That’s awesome.

Always loved this closing line from Donne:

One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,
And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

Mr. and Mrs. Brian Clark

It was five months of planning, preparation, decisions and very difficult times, all leading up to the best day of my life (so far; I expect many more from this woman). Between the decision to use my Mother and her husband’s home as the venue, the food, the flowers, the invites, the music, the chairs & tables, decorations, wedding shower, and everything else that I’m sure I’ve forgotten, our wedding succeeded thanks to the work of a large group of people.

My mother, Susan, and her husband, Jeff.

Angela’s parents, Kay and Adriana.

My step-parents, Don and Judi.

My Aunt Linda, Uncle Ron and Cousin Laura.

Angela’s brother and sister-in-law, David and Sara (and Andrew for wearing the vest)

My step-sister, Kendall and her husband, Brandon.

Our family friend, Melanie.

If there is anyone we left out, and you happen to stumble on over to this silly site and not see your name, just blame it on me, but know that we thank you as well.

We will never be able to thank you all enough for helping to bring us the most perfect and happiest day of our lives (like I said, so far). We love each and ever one of you very much.

Looking back, Angela and I breathed a collective sigh and are currently basking in the unbelievable fact that there is nothing left to plan. The days felt empty for two seconds before they were filled with an amazing new thought:

We did it.

So, finally,  here’s to you, Angela: My stunning, kind, generous and absolutely wonderful wife. I will love you until my last breath.

We did it, indeed.

Not to toot my own horn, but I did not do too shabby, myself. In fact, I won an “Noble Citation” award (kind of like an “Honorable Mention”)! Not too shabby at all. My prize is that nifty little graphic to the left, and a chance to be a Featured Writer on The Colors Magazine for an entire month!

Anyway, now that the contest is over, here is my 55 Fiction entry:

Today

by Brian Thomas Clark

Slumping in the chair next to the bed, he watched his father and considered Camus: “Maman died today. Or yesterday maybe, I don’t know.”
Such emptiness in those words. Such a lack of anything, he thought.
And yet, they were a luxury.
He stood, turned off the respirator, and considered the calendar on the wall.

Check out the rest of The Colors Magazine 55 Fiction Contest winners.

Check out all of the entries here (they are all damn good).

About the author: Brian Thomas Clark is a writer working out of Burbank, CA. He is currently shopping around his first novel.
He is writing at http://www.brianthomasclark.com

Find all other entries here

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7 Comments »

Winnie the poohi said: I kinda didnt get the story..
Reply
# 4 October 2009 at 9:46 pm

joker said: @ winnie
read the stranger by albert camus
@ brian
written very well.
Reply
# 4 October 2009 at 10:59 pm

karthik said: nicely written
Reply
# 5 October 2009 at 7:19 am

Gleenn said: very thought provoking. I guess I would need more time to understand this.
Reply
# 5 October 2009 at 11:25 am
55 Fiction Contest | Brian Thomas Clark said: [...] The Colors Magazine “55 Fiction Contest” [...]
# 7 October 2009 at 12:03 am

Hemanth Potluri said: good write it took me a while to actually understand ..
urs..hemu..
Reply
# 7 October 2009 at 7:46 am

The Colors Magazine (author) said: I like it, you have got your own style of writing and that is something which many people don’t. Good work.
Reply
# 13 October 2009 at 5:11 pm

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• Today: 55 Fiction
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• Addiction: 55 Fiction
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The rules of “55 Fiction” are that you must tell a story within 55 words (duh) but maintain a sense of suspense or strong emotion up until the final line, which is essentially supposed to give release or just give the final blast to the story.

Not sure when results will be posted, but I have to say, it was worth it just for the fun of following an extremely strict structure.

Leave comments for the other writers if you like. Very good quality.

The Colors Magazine “55 Fiction Contest”

http://www.thecolorsmagazine.com/index.php/2009/10/today-55-fiction/

So basically, I had to go through a bunch of steps to fix the Wordpress install and gather everything from my database, change passwords, etc. Everything should be good to go now.

And as an added bonus, my other site, Wine Welfare, was also part of the thousands of hacked sites. It took a worse hit than this one. So, onward to fixing that as well.

I know that I don’t really rely on these sites to make money, and there are FAR more important and terrible things happening in this world, but having a couple of your dinky little websites hacked is so stupid that it becomes incredibly annoying.

Ah well. To tell you the truth, I am enjoying this theme much more. Much cleaner, less “trying too hard” styling. The old theme was fun, and I worked very hard on it, but…change is nature.

Be sure to always update to the latest version of Wordpress, whenever you see the notice at the top of your admin screen. If you run a Wordpress site and think you may have been hacked, here are two articles that will help you clean out your install and start again, hopefully with all of your content intact (thank you, WP-database manager).

Hacked Site FAQs

Step-by-Step Cleaning

I was planning to post regularly while on my vacation, along with pictures of what we’re doing, but alas, the internet is slightly hard to come by in hotels here.

All I have time to say is that I’m heading to Bali for a few days, then Kuala Lumpur, then back to Singapore.

Rough life, huh?

Sorry ladies and gentlemen, but we are off the market.

Heading off to a much-needed vacation to Singapore and Malaysia with my soon-to-be wife! That’s a picture of us getting our marriage license today at the court, in case any of you were doubting my ability to actually LAND a woman.

Anyway, going to try and blog as much as I can while there and throw up some photos. If it doesn’t work out (seeing as how my blog may be targeted by the Singaporean authorities), rest assured there will be plenty to see upon our return.

So, “Adios!” and I’ll see everyone in 2 weeks!

If you want to follow our trip progress, I’ll be making a valiant effort to Facebook it. Follow me.

Brian