A breath of fresh air is flowing into Breathing Space.  As you may have read elsewhere, Susan Venman of   www.FocalPointCoachingVT.com and I are becoming a Breathing Space team.   Sue is continuing  her coaching and is also doing  organizing.   I am so looking forward to your gaining from her knowledge and care. Combining her expertise with mine we have the proverbial 1+1 equals MORE than 2!

Work is in progress and if you look through our web  pages now you will find a mix —some of my  earlier writing will be left as is but the site is  getting updated  daily.  Soon all the pages will be up to speed.   What’s so great is that while evolving  our  “infrastructures”   we’re  gaining new ideas  from each  other;  they are  making their way into Breathing Space services and will be  available to YOU!

This comes with my  immense thanks for the  path you have walked with me -  be it short or long and for the  path ahead!     With all best wishes,   Joanna

p.s.  When  you next call Breathing Space 802-258-4800 it will  be Sue’s voice that you hear!    Stay tuned!

If you are anything like me,  you may already have felt that the summer is going to disappear before you know it.  Today however  I tried something that  really surprised me and thus I am sending it onward to you ~

Take the TEN minute challenge. YES- 10 minutes!  It’s pretty huge.

After your next task is done – take T E N WHOLE MINUTES to do NOTHING. Only after that,  start on your next action. This may seem completely impossible as you look at it now. That was my reaction. If  so—try it for the next 4 hours only. I believe you will discover time that you didn’t imagine could exist.

One task done.  STOP for TEN WHOLE MINUTES. Then on to the next task. It’s pretty radical!  I discovered a very different world and still  got a bunch done – maybe more and definitely more sanely. Give it a try and let me know how it goes.

_

Now it’s SUMMER ’09 and you are doing whatever fills your time during these months. Some people change focus – slow down/ recharge batteries and try to do as little as possible. For others it’s weddings, trips, yard sales, and all kinds of projects that can’t be done other times of the year.

Good news is that Breathing Space is expanding and there are about to be two of us to answer your questions, post tips ,and provide training as well as doing on-site organizing. Thank goodness! Since February I have been getting very involved in local community work. Luckily at the same time I’ve been talking with my good friend and colleague Susan Venman about collaborating- not only getting things in shape but also adding to Breathing Space services.

Sue is a certified personal coach with a specialty in ADHD coaching. She has introduced me to some great ideas that will soon be coming your way. We  are thrilled with the possibility of  offering new options as well as covering a larger geographic area.  If you think that ADHD might be a part of your challenges,if you want to set up a workshop for the Fall or,  are simply ready for a tune up –now is a good time to call.  802-258-4800

Wishing you a fantastic July and August, Joanna (and Sue!)

This will feel familiar to many readers- I’m sure!

“OK, Joanna, here’s my big challenge – how to keep the house
organized and tidy when I live with three very untidy people. I
know the philosophy  ‘as I declutter and tidy, they will follow
suit.’   Well it hasn’t worked! Any other suggestions??

Disorganized space works for them, but it doesn’t for me. Hmm, so you’re probably going to suggest we all talk about it….my needs,theirs…tricky when I’m in the minority! You’ll sense I’m feeling rather defeated with this one! Over to you…”

First- thank you for your honesty! By now you may well have
resolved the issue. If you have- DO let me know how!

Also- sorry it’s taken me a long time to respond. It’s partly
because I’ve been questioning my own thinking on this one.

Just the other day in my “DECLUTTER” workshop I heard myself giving
my standard advice … ” 1)Each person should have one area that is
totally theirs – to keep as messy or tidy as they wish- with no
comment or interference allowed from ANYONE! 2) The degree of order
vs. disorder in shared space needs to be agreed upon in a way that
the tidiest person can live with it.”

Hmmmmmmmmm.  I’ve been realizing that that is how I’ve managed the
issue over the years and it’s worked pretty well for me. But I
haven’t had a three to one ratio. And recently I’ve begun to question
my theory.

I would still start by asking if you have claimed any space that is
TOTALLY yours to enjoy- which you can maintain at exactly your level
of order?  A refuge? And do each of them have a space clearly
allocated as THEIRS – which they can keep at their level of clutter
with NO complaints from you.” THAT remains the first step in my books.

But then- there’s the shared space! One of the problems is wanting
more than one thing at the same time — loving your family and wanting
to share time and space with them WHILE feeling drowned in their
clutter and wanting them to CHANGE!!!  This is where I think my
answer is shifting …scary! I’m not sure any more that the tidiest
person should rule. RADICAL

Yes– I WOULD talk with them again(especially since you have 2
nearly grown kids) but this time, try discussing the matter without
the thought that your way is definitely the right one. MAYBE since
there are FOUR competent people in the house – each person in the
house gets one week out of 4 being IN CHARGE and during that time is
the BOSS of the space and RULES what the shared space looks like.

This is just an idea. But since what you have been trying is only
discouraging – maybe try this. See what happens. At least you will
have 12 weeks plus a few days in the year when you can be absolute
boss and have your home as you want it. Those are the weeks
when you would have guests over. The rest of the time would be more
or less what it is now .. OR maybe not. Who knows?

How about trying this for Valentine’s Day. Start this Sunday!  Give someone else dictator status for the first week. You could probably survive the experiment for one month – all of you would know more by mid -March.

Try it?

On the 19th I was part of “Project Sleep Warm & Well” a local MLK
Jr Celebration service project. One of the churches in our town has
contributed space in the winter as an  overflow shelter for the homeless. These terribly cold nights it’s clearly a blessing to have a warm shelter available. The church has had to make room for the individual egg box foam pads,blankets and pillows that are bagged together to make each individual “bed”.  In addition there are the yet unassigned blankets and pillows.

Thus the church storage space is doing double duty.. You can
imagine! We set to sorting through everything in thecloset,cleaning the space, and putting things back so they would be easier to use. Here is where the “DATE” comes in.

We were NOT making decisions about any of the church stuff BUT we
could let the church folks know what the space contained and WHEN
the contents had been reviewed.Thus boxes,now tucked up on the
shelf, are marked “MISC BOOKS” 1/’09. And there are boxes labeled
“OLD CHURCH MUSIC 1/’09.” It may be several years before anyone has
time to look at those boxes but they will know that the boxes have
been there at least since January ‘09.

When you put a box away- label it with not only the contents but
also the date! If you don’t go back to that box for years you can
be more realistic about just how much use that particular item
truly gets. Or you may want to deliberately set something aside to
decide at a future time. You won’t have to guess -the date will
tell you ” time to consider this again.”

To me there is no hard and fast rule about how long you should keep
something- it depends on so many factors BUT if you want to have a
clearer sense about the stuff you are keeping, use the date to
help.

Also-when labeling the big cupboards “Unassigned blankets and
unassigned pillow”etc. we wrote Jan ‘09. When things are being
tucked back in, people will see that at least as of Jan ‘09 this was
how the space was organized. Over and over I have found that the
date adds a friendly challenge- “OH- that’s how it was in Jan ‘09!

So this year– do use dating magic to help you!
Wishing you a very Happy & Organized 2009!

Mini Article: The Importance Of Idleness 

So you’re going/have gone on a vacation, aren’t you? Well, the weekend will come up, and you’ll have some sort of break–your to-do list non-withstanding.

But you won’t take a break. No you won’t. You’ll do something silly. Like filling it up with stuff.

===============================================
How about filling it with idleness instead?
===============================================

Yeah, idleness. As in doing nothing. Yes, we know you’ve got a million things to do. But idleness can’t wait.

The western world in particular have forgotten what it means to be idle. To just sit under a tree and do nothing. Not read. Not scold your kids. Certainly not pick up the phone. Just sit and watch the world go by.

Idleness isn’t as crazy a concept as you think. You DO NOT have to fill your day with stuff. You don’t have visit every monument on your vacation. It’s more beneficial to do nothing. As in N-O-T-H-I-N-G.

===============================================
Can you do nothing?
===============================================
Can you? Can you? Can you do nothing for even a day this weekend?
How about for an hour then?

Try it. Just be lazy. Just watch butterflies. Or watch the mould growing. But be idle.

Because as an ancient Chinese saying goes: Man who sits by river all day, and doesn’t think it’s a waste of time, is a wise man.

——————————————————————————————-

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In Feng Shui however, they say that the basement is like your unconscious… bothers you even when you aren’t aware of it. And I definitely had a sense of being plagued – at least each time I went down with the wash.

But life is real and there’s TONS else that’s more important to do. No question about that! Whenever I thought about dealing with the basement it was a no-go. No matter how many times I put it on my TO DO list -it just sat there. YUCK!

Finally last week, despite the holidays just around the corner – I’d HAD IT with the basement.  I phoned my friend Suzette, who used to be my assistant, to ask if she could possibly come over and help ME.

Well, it took us FOUR hours last Friday working together! No way would I have done it on my own ! At one point, Suzette asked me what was in the old work bench with drawers. NOTHING!  It’s been sitting there with a bit of gardening stuff on it since we moved in. Well she said, ““What about THAT for paint brushes, rollers, scrapers, clean rags etc etc.”  So we put the stuff in the drawers and labeled the drawers. Not rocket science but feels BRILLIANT!

You wouldn’t believe how much better I feel. I have a yummy sense of the order and calm that are down there below me!  And there was clearly NO WAY I was going to get it done by myself .

I am SOOOOOOOOOOO glad I asked for help and can start the New Year with an UN-annoying basement. I think most of us have more than enough good intentions! And then bang our heads into whatever it is that makes it hard to DO what we intend! Thus my advice to myself and you is:  if you are STUCK in any way ASK FOR HELP! That, in fact, is going to be my ONLY New Year’s Resolution! Want to join me?

Wishing you an incredible 2009!

Remember the ads “For the man who has everything!…” and then there’s some expensive gadget you’re supposed to buy to show that you love him and have been thinking of him.

WAIT! STOP! HALT! Consider the purpose of a gift! It seems to me that the main purpose is exactly what the ads suggest- to let the receiver know that you love them and have them in your radar. I think that most of all we want that sense of caring both from giving and receiving…a sense of kindness in the air. But can that happen without STUFF? I think so.

Here are some possibilities:

A. Think about the person- their favorite dreams and activities -and find a related non-profit group and donate to it. Then put  together information and a card saying that a donation was given in that person’s honor. (This may take a leap of faith at first but I know families where this has become the major present each year.)

B. Give some “warm fuzzy time” … coupons for time together! A promise for a shared activity that might not happen otherwise. Coupons -good for three long walks together or whatever it is that you know the person especially loves to do with YOU.  Or give a service instead of stuff – something you or someone else can do – snow shoveling, a massage … *

C. Agree to only re-gift this year! Who says that NEW is better? Is there a book you really LOVED reading that your friend would enjoy? Is there something wonderful in your space that you really don’t notice anymore- that would be very welcome in someone else’s life?

I bet you will have more ideas. Some may involve money; some may not. Some people like to ask for wish lists; other’s find that annoying. To me the bottom line is – does the gift express your warmth toward
the person? Put on your thinking cap for gifts that don’t add to an already overstuffed life or landfill.

Wishing you warm sharing and happy celebrations!
Blessings,  Joanna

____________________________________________________________________
* I suppose this is the time to remind you that Breathing Space Gift Certificates are available and can be a perfect gift!

3705 Quinaby Rd NE, Salem, OR 97303, USA

*         *        *
In my workshops I always say  that a DECLUTTERED and ORGANIZED space
is not the end all and be all. In my universe it isn’t even a major
goal. If your space works well enough for you- if it helps you do
what you want to do – SUPER.

But, with that said yet again — please email me about your specific
most troublesome or annoying space and clutter problem! You can
be sure that you are not the only one dealing with it. And
solutions for you will also be helpful to other readers.

My upcoming tips are planned to be VERY hands on – ABC – XYZ kind of
things. Yet for sure, we all – worldwide – are living in a bigger
world that affects us every day at least as much as our spaces.

So just before heading to the basement/attic or closet I want to
mention a fantastic new book that is VERY readable and VERY timely
given our current world with all it’s challenges and opportunities.

The book is called The GREEN COLLAR ECONOMY : How One Solution Can
Fix Our Two Biggest Problems by Van Jones, foreward by Robert J.
Kennedy, Jr…I’m going to be reading it in the next few weeks-
want to join me?

HAPPY NOVEMBER!    Joanna