Personal issues are at the root cause of this hiatus, but our little website here has needed some work for a while… I actually spend more time keeping things up-and-running (smoothly) and fixing broken pieces here at the Brat-halla website than I have time to work on writing for the site.  I’m hoping the redesign and recoding of things will switch that around.

Hmm… I think some of those boys are faking those injuries.

Guess who’s back?

It didn’t exactly go down this way, but I tried to write it down as close as possible (I might have missed one or two tangents that may have occurred during this session)… from a fun D&D campaign I had the honor to be part of:

DM: Behind the secret door in the wall, you see a set of stairs… leading down into the darkness.

PLAYER J: My barbarian looks carefully down the stairs.

DM: Roll.

One bad dice roll later.

DM: It’s dark but it looks safe to you.

PLAYER J: I start heading down the stairs.

PLAYER R: Wait.  It could be trapped.  Where did we leave that stone guardian I turned into abstract art?

PLAYER C: Down the hall a bit.

PLAYER J: I’ll get it.

DM: Sounds of stone slowly scraping across stone echo down the hall.

PLAYER J: What now?

PLAYER R: Push it down the stairs.

DM: Dammit.

Sounds of grumbling echo from across the living room.  Followed by the sounds of numerous dice rolls.

DM: The statue goes tumbling down the stairs setting off and bending the spring-loaded blade traps in each step.  It makes a squishy sound as it hits the bottom of the stairs. 

PLAYER J: The statue squished.  Statues aren’t supposed to squish.  Arazel, I think you broke the statue with your magic.

PLAYER R: That was the whole point of the spell.

PLAYER L (I believe): Maybe it was just squishy on the inside.

… tangent on candies with crunchy candy shells and squishy guts …

DM: Okay, let’s get back to the game.  With the blades bent there’s no way you can walk down the stairs without injuring your feet and legs.

PLAYER R: Isn’t the barbarian still carrying that tower shield around? 

PLAYER C: Yeah, the one we were using to protect us from the archers.

PLAYER J: You mean this tower shield?

PLAYER R: Everybody hop on.

DM: {sigh}

Nothing like a good ol’ scientific poke with a stick to get you back on your feet again.  Good thing too… cause I think Balder would rather be conscious for this next quest.

I wanna say something here but the shiny death distracted me.

And since my week needs some extra levity, here’s a link to The Dead Alewives Watchtower’s sketch on Dungeons & Dragons (mp3 download).

E tan, e epi tan.

The combo to unlock that move is [A+B+X+Y, LB, LB, X, X , ->, ->, Y, RB], but only if you do it while standing on your head drinking a can of Tab and singing one hit wonders from the 80s.

Mystic cubes of self-aggrandizing… don’t mind me, I just like saying that.  It’s not quite as much fun as saying "chupacabra", but still…