Bottles Barbies & Boys

This many more days...

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Fri, 06 Jan 2012 18:08:00 +0000

During the week of Christmas every morning while watching the weather Jacob, would count down the days till Santa would come. As the cute little clip art Santa made his way across the days Jacob was more and more excited as the number of fingers he held up were less and less. He couldn't wait to make his big announcement every morning as to how much longer we had, secure in his knowledge referencing the proof on the weekly forecast.

Christmas finally arrived and the predictions of the weather channel & Jacob were at last confirmed!

The excitement dwindled down as Christmas ended and we began a new morning count down, New years day.

The only difference was as the little clip art baby moved closer, the less excited our little man became. Okay, he's 4 , nothing to him is exciting about a new year. No ones bring presents, he's too young to stay up all night to party I get it.

New years eve morning as we sat watching the news Jacob crossed his arms and sat pouting instead of counting. Apparently, we assumed New Years Day meant everyone gets a new baby. No wonder he had been so clingy and lovey all week. Bless his heart, all this time he was worried he was getting replaced with a new baby! It was too funny. Jason and I had fun teasing him over this one.

Every strange noise out side: " Is it UPS? I bet it's the BABY!"

New Years Day: "Son, are you ready to go to the store and pick out the baby? Do you want to get a white one like the rest of us, or a different color? A boy or a girl? How about two!! You get to pick."

With a smile and a mean look he let's us know he can take a joke & where he stands on another baby.

Hang on to your popcorn!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 02:58:00 +0000

Have you seen one of those horror movies with the possessed child? Well I haven't, I have seen the commercials for them and that's been enough for me.
As a child Scooby-doo was a little more than I could handle. Now as an adult, I watch a episode of Criminal Minds and I'm on edge the rest of night, thinking someones behind every door to kill me .

Keeping that in mind;
I took the girls out late the other night through our neighborhood to play the game Boo!

If your not familiar with the game;

This is a Boo Sign~

The air is cool, the season, Fall;
Soon Halloween will come to all!
The spooks are after things to do,
In fact a spook brought this to you!
"Boo" is a shield of the witching hour,
Just hang it up and watch the power!
On your front door is where it works;
It wards off spooks and scary jerks!
The treat that came with this cryptic note,
Is yours to keep, enjoy them both!
The power comes when friends like you,
Will copy this note and make it TWO!
The others here among our friends,
Will give them warm fuzzies that will not end!
We'll all have smiles on our faces,
But no one knows who "BOO'ED" whom!
Just two short days to work your spell,
Or one big ZAP will strike your tail!
And don't forget a nifty treat,
Like something cute and something sweet!
Please join the fun, lets really hear it,
spread the "BOOS" and Halloween SPIR IT!

Now it's your turn to "ghost" two other people in your neighborhood.
You should "ghost" these people within 2 days of receiving your treat.
Hang the ghost on your front door so that everyone can see that you have been "ghosted" and will not ghost you again. This will also let you know who you can ghost.
Fill 2 bags with candy, treats, or if you know them well enough to add something special, a nice gift (I wine and cheesed my neighbor). Copy this letter and the ghost twice. Include treats, letter, and ghost in your bag of goodies for the neighbors that you choose.
After dark, and only with an adult, "ghost" 2 of your neighbors. Do not let the person that you are "ghosting" see you, for it adds to the fun of it all. Place the treat bag on the doorstep, ring the doorbell and run!
It will be fun to see how many ghosts will appear in our neighborhood by Halloween.
Please keep it safe and enjoy!

It's similar to Ding-dong ditch. You place this sign on a neighbors door, leave them goodies, ring the bell and RUN!!!

Here where we live it gets dark at 6:00pm and in our neighborhood have no streetlights. So, when we left at 8:30 it was good and dark. You could barely see your hand in front of your face. Ideal for us not wanting to be seen as we roamed the streets quietly. We had three houses we were planning to hit, in hopes at least two of the three would keep it going. Knowing our victims, the fear of getting shot for sneaking around wasn't an issue. The first house went off without a hitch. We were like a stealth fighter, in, out, gone and undetected. Even with the under breath giggles!

Out of breath,we rounded the corner to hit our other two houses, when we came to one dilemma. They were right next door to one another, not being seen would be tricky. In the dark we spotted a big truck parked in the road, and plotted to hide behind it in between hitting each house. That way if someone came out looking after the first one we could hide safely until they went back inside. After that we had a park to cross and we would be home free. So far, the street had been dead silent so we thought this would be cake.

We hit the first house and ran through the darkness as fast as we could to the truck. There we were peering from behind the truck trying not to breathe. Watching and waiting we looked for anyone to come out looking. Within the darkness I hear from behind us this tiny long whisper "He-ll-o?".....My heart was racing well before and now it was about to beat out of my chest! I whipped around as though Jason himself from Nightmare on Elm street, was tapping me on the shoulder. Looking as hard as I could to see what/who said it, I saw nothing. Squinting harder through the darkness, I heard it again only this time it was closer. "He-ll-o, Lexie?? psst.." Then, I saw it the silhouette of a little girl wearing a dress. At this point we are all backed up as far as we could to the truck bed of our hiding spot. All I could think of were those horror commercials!! (specifically, to the one with of a girl with a sheet over her head?? ) As she came closer we recognized her as this 5 year old little girl who lives near us. Wearing dark clothes you could barely see her, she blended right into the night. Finally, realizing we weren't someone named Lexie? Barefooted and hair all a mess, she began to ask us what we were doing. Now, that the intital panic had wore off, the girls were shooing her and telling her to be quiet. All this work & panic and now we were going to have our cover blown! Luckily that didn't happen and the girls did the next house as I stood trying to tell her she needed to go home. What crazy mother out there lets a young little girl roam the streets all alone in the dark? Can you imagine how terrified we would have been if we would have ran off screaming and she FOLLOWED us? It was bad enough Kailey peed herself, I can't imagine nightmares on top of that.

Funny thing is after all of our efforts of accomplishing our mission unseen, we still failed. The night was cool and taking advantage of the free air, I had our upstairs windows open. About thirty minutes after we got home, I was upstairs changing when I heard a rustling coming from the windows. Peeking down through the blinds I could see something moving near the front door. After being on edge from earlier, I was a little scared on what I might see. Watching the shadows and listening for noises, I finally saw something. The bottom of a dress tail and a little barefoot appeared on the edge of our porch wall! It was that same little girl, but why was she here? As I began to turn and go downstairs to the door, her hand came out into the light. She was carring a paper? One of our Boo signs!! "GIRLS!! Hurry run to the door!" Sure enough, she had taken our signs off the houses and brought them back to us. All our efforts had been in vein. Trying to explain to her the game resulted in nothing but confusion. All we could do was smile, shut the door, and sit in disappointment.

It certainly will be a Halloween memory we will never forget!

He's THREE & sneaky, things happen!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Tue, 26 Oct 2010 01:30:00 +0000

Before I tell you what happened here's two major facts that will help you to better understand my situation;

1- A couple of days ago while driving through construction, a little car was driving right in the blind spot of my SUV. For that reason, I had the crap scared out of me when I almost squashed it while merging. Luckily I didn't trust my mirrors and saw it before having to swerve or hear a pissed off honk. Even so, knowing I will be driving through the same construction daily, I positioned my mirror down specifically to target the lower blind spot on the driver side.

2- We never stop for fast food breakfast in the mornings. If fact we never even get to eat fast food at all anymore. That was until this weekend when I stopped and treated the younger two to McDonald's happy meals, for Madisen's birthday.

That being said; This morning I dropped the girls off at school and headed back home with Jacob. For most of the way home, I was driving through the construction paying attention to workers, unmarked changing lanes, and traffic.

Now that Jacob is 3, we're pretty much passed all the craziness of riding in the car. He doesn't throw toys at me anymore or unbuckle his seat belt and try to climb in the back. He just sits and plays with his toys and enjoys the ride. That is when the girls aren't there to fight with him.

So, hear I am driving down the road when I happen to notice this woman riding my bumper.

Driving in a highly known speed trap area, I just over looked her as it's very common while driving through there. Another fact is I have a lot of people ride my bumper on a daily basis due to the signage on my car for my business. Lots of people follow close taking down information. Therefore I've gotten very accustomed to just paying them no attention what so ever.

As I continue driving down the road I look over and now the woman is right next to my car driving with her window down trying to talk/yell at me. Now she has become unignorable. (if that's even a word)

Once again something else I used to do to my business. So, I slow down, and roll down my window to hear her. Quickly she yelled at me
"YOUR SON HAS THROWN HIS MCDONALD BREAKFAST OUT THE WINDOW AT ME, ALONG WITH AN ENTIRE WATER BOTTLE & LOTS OF OTHER THINGS!!"

What THE??... JACOB!!

Turns out it was trash from the night before;

1/2 a cheeseburger

his leftover bag & fries

and a water cup he didn't finish. (THE WATER BOTTLE)

All out his half cracked window!

Jacob's excuse "I was just throwing out my trash"

Bless his heart...the only child who will pick up after himself.

Once I finally get home and give my window rules & trash speech to Jacob, I notice I had a message on my machine.

Who else, but the lady on my bumper called my business!

Turns out she wanted to report the incident to the owner, with a long spiel about my vehicle, license plate & enactment on what was happening. Very upset she recommend I be reprimanded & taken care of at once. She ended the message with," if you were the driver SHAME, SHAME, ON YOU!!"

I don't know if it was hormones or what but I was a mess! I was angry she had the nerve to make such a big deal out of a little boys mistake. Too, I was understanding on how she felt driving behind such a freak show. Embarrassed, and hurt that she would judge me as some careless, unfit mother who would allow this to happen!

Swallowing my pride & tears, I thought it would be right to call the number back on the I.D. (Not that she would expect that, when she didn't leave her name or number.) Calmly and as nice as I could be I called her and left her the most sincere apology for what had happened. I assured her I had no knowledge of what he was doing, and it was my fault for not seeing it.

Also,Not that it matters to her...

I assured from now on his window will be locked or monitored!

The approach I took may have been as weakness, but at least I feel I did the right thing!

So, if you get wind of the latest download craze on You-Tube of a woman & her Mc'D's litter Boy, it's probably ME!

Sounds like hog-wash...

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 16:16:00 +0000

Llanfairpwllgwngyllgogelychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogoch

By looking at this above, you would think I just let Jacob type.

Well, believe it or not, this gibberish is actually a word!

Kailey has it on her spelling test at school today! The word came from her math book and it's originated from the Dutch language, I believe? The teacher decided it would be fun to add the word to their list as extra credit.

Spell it?!! You can't even pronounce it!

Here's the kicker, she didn't receive the word until yesterday afternoon and the test it today! Impossible for anyone to memorize it that fast, and know it for today, right? WRONG! Not for my little genius. (Not without my help of course! ) Not to brag But... We had it memorized in a matter of less than 2 hours!!! And we didn't even eat Wheaties for breakfast! Alright, Alright ...I know answer the burning question HOW??

We're secretly Dutch and this is our first language?

NO! I'm kidding!

Seriously, we took each letter and turned it into a word, and then turned all of the words into a song! A catchy little song at that. It all tells a story about my girls AND has movements. Pure genius, I know!!

She'll probably be THE only kid in class who gets it right & can't get it out of her head. Or mine ( "Love, love, girls...")

Funny thing is everyone including the teacher will think she some how cheated. I can't wait to hear all about it when she gets home...

"The best mom EVER!"love, Kailey~

And to think I'm not a smoker or drinker...

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 18:15:00 +0000

This week;

Jacob tried to make Kool-aid on his own, and in the process gave a packet to Butter.

Kailey AND Madisen are both running for student council. So, I'm working double duty on their campaigns & speeches, while they watch T.V!

Kailey brings me a booklet of approx. 20 pages on Social studies, Sunday evening. Then proceeds to tell me she has a big test on it Monday morning, and she doesn't know ANYTHING!

During a storm the other night, sitting in the dark, we were all admiring the lightening, until we heard dripping water... INSIDE! Two of our oversized windows were pouring in water through the WALL. Really not good!

We had an unathorized charge on our bank account which put us broke and overdrawn. ON our anniversary! (14 years!!)

AND, as I sit here typing the motor on my dishwasher is going out!!

The worst part is I could keep going!

Strobe lights, Balloons, Loud music & Glow EVERYTHING...

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 00:05:00 +0000

Happy Birthday Baby- Girl!

We're officially 1 year away from having a TEENAGER in the house, AAAAHHH!

After a night of clubbing in our jacked up empty dining room,

I have to say Pre-teen's not all that bad.

You just thought, YOU were having a bad day!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 17:03:00 +0000

He's just a two year old how hard could it be?

Ah-ha, thought you'd never ask!

Here's just one example of what I've been going through...

Just the other day...

I had to make a very important phone call. As the phone on the other end is ringing, I spotted Madisen and asked her to run and see where Jake was. ( As I know it only takes a second before he's into something.)

"He's fine, Kailey's going to play with him while your on the phone." , She said.

Approximately 20 minutes later I get off the phone, turn around, and see Jake walking towards me waddling like a duck. He's covered from head to toe with paint, making paint footprints behind him.

"Look Mommy, I paint!!" he said in a lovely shade of purple.

I can only imagine the haunting shade of white my face became, as the shock rushed over me. I immediately grabbed him up and went running for the bath tub. Screaming in panic for the girls to hurry and help, I went as fast as I could.

"Strip your clothes off, and what ever you do, DO NOT let Jake out of the tub!!"

I knew wherever the paint was, time was of the essence to get it up. As I followed the painted footprints imprinted in the carpet. (Of our RENTED house might I ad) I was led straight to the masterpiece corner! He had somehow managed to get open two containers of paint. One Red & one blue.

(Which were in a case and up high. Obviously not high enough!)

Mr. Man, had painted the walls, his toys, his bed, his bedding, and HIMSELF!

He poured big piles of each color right on the carpet, and even made a mixing pile of purple.

Little Picasso had made such a mess!

I grabbed towels, a bucket of water and every bottle of stain remover I could find, and immediately went to scrubbing like a mad woman.

All the while yelling "Are you watching him?! Do NOT let him move!!"

After lots of scrubbing, and seeing how much progress I had made, I started to breath again.

Taking a deep breath, I began to laugh...

I still have paint stains on the floor.

Jake is sitting in the tub covered in paint.

I ran out of stain remover and need to go to the store.

The kids haven't had lunch yet.

AND, Kailey has to be at the orthodontist in 35 Minutes!!

Everything after that was a complete blurr.

Somehow I got it all done and made it to her appointment, and On Time at that!

At some point in between all the madness, I did take a few seconds to grab my camera.

They were taken at the time where I was breathing, so they are blurry and most of the paint was cleaned up. On Jake too! At least I captured something, right?

Can you believe this little monster?

All I know is; Thank God for Oxi Clean, and the fact it was kids paint!

Envying the neighborhood strays this year

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 18:01:00 +0000

Every year we go All out for the fourth. We drive up to the next state and buy tons of illegal fireworks. I say "we", what I really mean is Jason. Here's how it really works. He begs to go stop at the fireworks store. Swears we won't buy much. Then I follow him around the store as he snatches and grabs, like a kid in a candy store.Then what happens? We walk out of the store buying twice as much as we did the year before. It's crazy! We bought so much the year before last, the store gave us $200, if free stuff. It took two shopping carts, just to get them to the car. Where we had to cover them with blankets to get them across states.

The key is to buy them a few weeks in advance, so you don't get caught. The only thing is until the fourth we have enough explosives in our house to blow up China.

Well this year with the slowed economy The Big Dawg, had to just lay in the yard and sulk this year. All we could afford was a few from the TNT tent in front of Wal-mart this year. All completely legal. Nothing over five foot off the ground. Just a bunch of little fountain fireworks! BOR-ING!

We did a few before dark so Jake could enjoy them, before bed.

I told you, they were pathetic!

"Don't worry kids we have a whole box full."

After dark when we went out with the girls. We thought it won't be too bad, at least they will enjoy them.
That was until the neighbors started. Apparently they had more money than we did this year and were able to afford some of the big ones. Not as much as we would have bought but, nonetheless. Talk about a nose rubbing. It didn't matter what we lit, as soon as we heard & felt the boom concussion in our chest, our fireworks became invisible. As nice as it was to at least have some to look at, it was still disheartening.

The scary thing is I know when we do buy some, ~~he'll~~ we'll have to make up for this year!

So? What did you learn at bible school?

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 13:24:00 +0000

Monday- "Girls go to college to get more knowledge, Boys go to Jupiter to get more Stupider..."

Tuesday-"Don't make me snap my fingers in a Z-formation, hip rotation, a Booty Vibration.Elbow, Eb/ow, wrist, wrist, dang GIRL you just got Dissed!..." *just reading it such an injustice, you should really see the motions.*

Wednesday-"...When Abby was a Angel, an Angel she went like this, WA-WA, suck my thumb, give me a piece of bubble gum, oo-ah lost my bra left it in my boyfriends car, hush kids I'm on the phone trying to get your daddy home, oh my aching back, AHHHHHH, when Abby was a...."

*Blink-Blink*

Thursday- I can't wait to hear what they learn tonight.

3 hours a night of bible school, and this is what they retain?!*shaking head*

"Gir-ls, do you think maybe you could pay more attention to the teachers and not your friends?"

Okay dear take a break, your only TWO!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Sun, 31 May 2009 20:00:00 +0000

Yesterday we celebrated Jacob's 2nd Birthday!

The chainsaw I bought him, has been a huge hit.

After opening it, he could careless about any other presents or the party.

He didn't even take a second look when we brought out his big gift, a riding ATV!
It was all we could do, to get him to stop working just to cut the cake.

You see what's in his other hand...

He worked and worked...

And worked and worked...

(Sweetheart, I believe there's a law against this? Don't you wanna stop and open more presents?)

But Even though it sounded like a real chainsaw and ran like a real chainsaw,

it just wouldn't make that tree fall.

???

(He watches Extreme Loggers with Daddy, so he's an expert.)

5 hours later we still aren't bored with it yet.

We did manage to set it down long enough to take a bath. But not without it being in site!

He even had to sleep with it. (Well, until he fell asleep.)

Today; He had it right out of the bed, Ate breakfast with it, took it to church...

And all this time, I was worried about him getting attached to a blanket or stuffed animal.

I can just see him going to kindergarten with this chainsaw in his backpack! Oh my =0

Happy 2nd, Little man!

Hey! That woman's wearing my shorts!!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Thu, 28 May 2009 13:00:00 +0000

Yesterday, I decided to do some much needed cleaning of my clothes for charity. If it was; too big, too small, so old the elastic disintegrated, or something I know I will always refuse to wear, it went in the bag! After I was done I was a little shocked at all the room I had and the fact I had nothing to wear.
The biggest shock came this morning. I thought of a shirt I had from last summer and realized it was missing. After searching behind the drawers and through all my stuff, I thought of at least five other summer things missing too.
With all the rain we've had, we have yet to break out the shorts in this cool weather. So, it hadn't dawned on me that I don't even have any shorts in my drawers. Out of site and not needed, out of mind, I guess. I don't know where they all went? Did I pack them all away last fall? If so, I can't find them anywhere!! I have searched everywhere for my clothes. It is driving me crazy. I am really panicking here. If summer ever does get here, I have nothing to wear. All I hope is I didn't pack them away last fall and they got mixed in with my charity bags!

Would you PLEASE pay attention!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Wed, 27 May 2009 19:23:00 +0000

Well Kailey's class finally had the PMS talk at school. It wasn't new to her seeing how we discussed it a year ago, but Needed. At that time she just sat with a blank stare, during the entire time, nodding in understanding. Then the next day said, "What was that punctuation thing again?". *Are you kidding me? I talked for an hour!*
I was hoping this time she would have paid better attention. She said the teacher explained that usually you start around the same age as your mother. Once she found out it may be another two years before she starts, with a huge sigh, she became very disappointed.

"Trust me" I said, "It's defiantly NOT something to look forward to!"
So, once again I don't think she really gets it.

Keep this up, and pretty soon we'll need a caution flag for your nose.

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Wed, 20 May 2009 16:47:00 +0000

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Summer classes for Men

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Mon, 18 May 2009 20:56:00 +0000

*Copy & paste*

THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Friday, May 22nd, 2009
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by=2 0Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
On-line Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

*It was a little more effort than I wanted to put into today. But, I thought you were worth it. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow*

Dang it...AND, I forgot to buy cheese!!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Mon, 04 May 2009 20:36:00 +0000

It's a typical Monday and I've been slammed all day. I know it's no excuse for being a blog slacker. So, to give you an insight to my day here's a few pictures;

Can't guess what that was?
Well, over the weekend Jason sprayed the yard to get rid of our ant issues.
Great right? Well one problem.
In trying to flee the poison soaked ground, they decided to try and move their nest eggs into our mailbox!
Nice huh!
So, That's our ant invested mailbox.
Wasn't that picture enough to give you the itches?

#2

No, it's not a dead skunk!
In saving money, I attempted to shave Koda myself.
I figure if I can't get my hair cut, neither can he!
Let me tell you though, it was a pretty bad idea.
What a mess!!
I could have made two stuffed dogs, with all the hair that came off of him.
The more I shaved the more I had to shave.
It just kept getting shorter and shorter, in my attempts to get him even.
All I can say is, I didn't have to pay $50, to walk away unhappy.
I don't know I guess he didn't turn out all that bad.
What do you think?
Do I need a paper bag, to take him out in public?

I took Kailey to the orthodontist today for a consultation.
Looks like I have two options;

1. We'll be pity-poor but she'll have a pretty smile.
2. We'll be middle class poor and she'll have crooked teeth. (courtesy of Bush)

Darn those things are expensive.
Can you believe it's $4500. for braces!? That's a new car.

And last but not least...

#4

This is the third day in a row, Madisen had come home from school with a pile of toys.
For some reason her friends are giving her toys.
If I had to guess, knowing miss Madisen.
She's made up some exaggerated story, about how she doesn't have toys.
Meanwhile I can't find room, she has so many.

I can't imagine the pity stories that must be circulating the phone lines with that.
*deep breath*

So, that about it. Not too exciting I know, but hey it's only Monday!

Dear it's okay, hardly anyone reads my blog anyways.

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:30:00 +0000

What am I staring at?

I can tell you it's nothing that will be saving me money on or for ANYTHING!

Well, I take that back. I guess it could save us money if we were going to a football game. There would be no need to purchase a big FOAM FINGER when you have a guy with this sitting with you...

This is Jason's new excuse to get my attention. I guess he figured he better step it up a notch, Seeing how these never seemed to work;

All the times ,Getting sick , I mean dying (funny how he's still alive and kicking)
The chronic back pain, with a chiropractor insisting he needed to be seen weekly.
(Come on! I could not believe he was falling for that one. Anyone who walks through the door automatically has one leg longer than the other and needs to be on a regimen of weekly treatments)
Ear pain ~where he claimed to hear ringing & couldn't hear

( which I think was just an excuse to ignore me!)
Never mind the endless searches on webMD.com...
The time he had Shingles, because my mom had it.

(Only his was just a stiff neck)
His big toe was killing him ( he swore he must have Gout)
The spot on his belly (Defiantly was Ringworm, NOT!)
Chest pain, when he almost called me to say his goodbyes
( which was nothing more than hot peanuts he had ate)
And...I figure these will get me in enough trouble so I better stop! But, I'm telling you I could keep going.

Personally just between You, Me, and the fence post I think he just purposely tried to get hurt. How else does a man who is constantly playing with power tools get hurt on a measly ol' ratchet strap?

"Honey, sure I believe your story. You were adjusting it and it smacked back and tore open your finger. I know, I believe you!" (*shaking my head No*)

Bless his heart, look at these nasty stitches.

In his defence, it was alot more swollen earlier, and it was so painfull he practically fainted when they washed it.

"Yes Dear, your right!"

I forgot to mention He didn't even have Tylenol.

"I didn't even have Tylenol when I gave birth, but it's not like it's a competition."

A few days of resting, with his finger stuck straight up in the air, and I'm sure he'll be as good as new. Well, with a little less feeling in the finger, seeing how he cut a nerve, but New.

"You know Dear if you just wanted to stay home with me, all you had to do was take a day off!"

"Settle down, I'm only Joking!! I know you really got hurt. Alright alright,I'll make it up to you. How about a nice back rub? Or a ... DEAR! come back..."

Doesn't anyone hire Americans?

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 14:24:00 +0000

Advanced apology letter;
Dear Readers,
Please forgive me for the post you are about to read.

For all of you two second regulars stopping in from the sand countries, this especially applies to you.
(Yes, I know you secretly come by. The camel dung, gave you away.)

I apologize to anyone who may find the content of this post offensive. Please don't throw shoes at me, or overload the comment box. I love all of you and just like to poke a little fun. Besides, where I come from teasing is a form of affection!

Advanced prayer;
Dear Lord,
As Larry the cable guy would say "Please forgive me and be with the pygmies in New Guinea"!
Oh, and Ps; help those who read my sad and pathetic blog, to find humor in my pinkness!
And be with all the sick people...
And help me to have patients as a mother. Especially right now with Jacob attacking me while I'm ~~typing~~ praying.
Pss; Be with Kailey today at school, as she learns to ride a bike with one hand. In which I think is unsafe. You know Lord, I better pray for her teacher also. She really needs her head examined! By the way thank you for being with Kailey, the last time she rode her bike and knocked out her front tooth.
Okay I better rap this up Lord, I'll talk to you later.
In Jesus name, Amen

Can anyone tell me? Does anyone hire Americans?

Why is it everywhere I call customer service, after 30 minutes of yelling "CUSTOMER SERVICE" at the automated machine, I get this guy...

He barely speaks or understands English, and he's on my LAST nerve!

Did I mention the biggest factor of all...He's in INDIA!
In India, answering a US problem! Do you not see the problem with this?

Seriously, it's been 2 weeks, will you STOP staring at me?

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 14:15:00 +0000

Think your cute don't you?

Go ahead, ask some-bunny how fun it is to torture me.

~Wordless Wednesday~

Can I grab just one more?

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 17:26:00 +0000

All during our trip, Kailey collected brochures at every stop we made. There was no mistaken we were tourists! Which pains me to say! She had enough paper in her hands to cause a fire hazard. Here's the one she was really intrigued about!

ZORB ball fun.

According to the information Kailey read about it online;
Your allowed to ride with two friends and a bucket of water in this thing, down a hill!
I asked her if this was something she would like to do next time, and she said everything BUT, Hell No!

She said, "I don't care how much fun they make it look like. Or how many good comments they write, I'm not doing that!"

Unfortunately we're back

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 16:31:00 +0000

Well it seems the cabin housekeepers have keys to all the locks. And, seeing how the resort frowns on squatters, we were forced to leave. I knew they would eventually call the police, and a stand off with kids in the house, would have been bad. So we're back!

I know before I left I promised to take lots of pictures. Unfortunately every time I turned around Jason would say,"you can always take pictures later, let's go..", or I wouldn't have it when I needed it. So, needless to say I just didn't follow through on my promise. In my defense I did spend a lot of time with Jacob on my hip and taking pictures with him is impossible. Half way through the weekend he started running a fever and just wanted to be held the whole time. Then there was the time he was puking all over me. Of course you know it wouldn't have been a real vacation without one of the three puking, at some point and time. However somehow I did manage to get a few taken, so the whole weekend wasn't a total loss.

Now for the good stuff picture time...

Gatlinburg , Tn

Here's our luxury cabin we stayed in.
It was so nice! Right in the Great Smoky Mountains.

Oh Crap! Wait a minute No, that's not it. That's on the way to the cabins.

Sorry, You'll have to bare with me. I am so tired! With playing all day everyday and staying up really late every night, It was a little bit exhausting. Of course one night of having the neighbors wake us up at 3 in the morning didn't help either. Although, the fact the that they were charged a $250. fee was pretty well worth it. Then not to mention getting up at 5 this morning!

Okay let's get back on the train of thought, here.

Here's the cabin we really stayed in...

Although not as big or as accommodating as the others we have stayed in here, it was really nice.
When we first got there, Jason wasn't too thrilled with the 22 steps to the door.
Where as I just looked at it as I was going to be able to eat more.

The game room was our favorite part of the house.

We had to make a few alterations for Jacob, but he too enjoyed the fun!

The only bad part about it was Jason & I thought the kids would never go to sleep.

We waited for hours to be alone and enjoy the hot tub on the porch.
Dang it, Which I have No pictures of!!

The girls loved the heated pool, but thought the small private pool on the balcony was way better. The begged and pleated to stay in it the whole weekend. Yet, I don't have one single picture or video of them in it! I guess I was too busy complaining "I SAID, don't splash out all of the water!!"

However I did manage to get a few pictures on the front porch. None of the views, but plenty of the kids. (Man, what's wrong with me?)

Here's the girls...

No they didn't attend a Mardi Gras there!
Luckily it doesn't take much to entertain them.

And

Here's Jake...

And Madisen...

And here's...

What's that? Your bored??

Alright, alright no more pictures I get it!

I've got lots to do anyways, as you can see...

Well I better go too. It's 1:30 and I haven't even picked up the dog from boarding yet!! It was nice of you to stop by though...

Underware, CHECK! Toothbrush, CHECK!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 13:56:00 +0000

"The weekend just won't be the same without you!..."

Because it's going to ROCK!!!

No cleaning, No tiny little house with children so close I can't breathe, NOPE! We are gone for the weekend! Yeah were only going 45 minutes away, but Destination Relaxation here we come. We are heading out to stay the weekend in a luxury cabin with a hot tub, pool table, video games, porches over looking the mountains, and did I mention it's a luxury cabin?! Home away from the shoe box we call home.

So, adios amigos we are out of here!

I'll be back Monday with lots of pictures.
That is only if locking the doors at checkout and refusing to leave doesn't work!

Darn it, I should have paid more attention to those Dr.Phill episodes!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 16:12:00 +0000

My girls are both out of school this week for spring break. I had lots of fun planned for the entire week. Although, so far it hasn't gone much as planned. We've had lots of rain and a few places I had planned on taking them turned out to be closed. I can't say this doesn't surprise me, seeing how the first day of spring break started with a real shebang. I should have known it was a sign my week would be doomed.

Last Friday evening~ Out of the blue Kailey with her head tilted, followed with air quotes says, "Mommy when are we going to have THE TALK? You know about how you make babies! Mrs.___ at school was asking the girls in my class if we had it yet, because she wants to show us a movie about it. Most all the other girls have had it, so when will I?"

Clearly I was unprepared for that! She's in 4th grade for God's sakes! I know we live in the south, but isn't this a wee bit early? Or maybe I'm late? I did toss out those child development books after the first year.
Wait a minute come to think of it, I was in like 9th grade before they showed us such a movie. You know, I'm 32 and still haven't had THE TALK , with my mom. Mom's really do talk to their girls about this stuff right?

Why in the world would a teacher leave that food for thought the day before break? Of course prepared or not I sucked it up, swallowed a lump down and leaped right into that cold water. Last thing I wanted for her, was to have what happened to me. She'll start asking questions to her friends and then she may get wrong or too much information. Which I'm sure will eventually happen, but at least I have laid down the ground work.

Now that it's over, I have to say it wasn't as painful as I thought it would be. I tried to keep things as simple as I could without giving too much information. Leaving it with, we can talk about this more when your older.

It just seems so weird going from THE TALK , to let's go see the new Hannah Montana movie!

MOMS! Get paid to advertise!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 19:38:00 +0000

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

Are you sure you only gave birth to one? Then you better talk to Dad!

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:29:00 +0000

What would you think if strangers were telling you, you have a twin? Yes I know they claim everyone has a twin out there. But, what are the chances that they live in the same county you do?
Tell me how you would react?

1994- I moved from AZ back to our home town here in NC. It was the middle of my sophomore year in high school, and I'm standing in the school office registering. The bells rings for classes to change, and kids are scattering through the halls walking by. More than a few kids walking by stopped and waved through the window. My thoughts were, boy their awful friendly here. It wasn't until after starting classes did I learn as to why. You see some girl who apparently looks just like me, had went to that same school. She had moved away just prior to my arrival. Everyone I met told me how much we looked alike and how they thought I was her. During the school year I would constantly get the long stares and the comment of "I just can't get over how much you look like her". At the time it was much of a nuisance to me, so I didn't ask questions about the situation. I do know they said her name was similar to mine and we even dated two of the same guys. Weird right?

Long story short I didn't think much of it all and ended up moving away. In 1996 my husband and I moved back. At that time I was no longer in high school and working as a cashier. That's when it all started again. My brother who knew nothing about it all, claimed he saw her in the local Wal-mart. A few weeks later a guy I worked with came into work mad at me. He was complaining how stuck up I was since I had bought my new car. For one I hadn't bought a new car. I was still driving my same ole red Camero. Funny thing was I had been talking all about how I wanted a newer one. Which was what my look-a-like was driving the day this guy saw her. He claimed he walked right up to her car talking to her, and she rolled up her window and drove off. He wouldn't believe me until I showed him my car sitting in the parking lot. After that he was completely embarrassed and in shock.

Life went on and we moved again. I know, the moving is getting to be ridiculous isn't it? Believe me it's a lot worse when your the one actually moving and not just reading about it!

Anyways, lots of moving and three children later we're in 2009 and living here Yet again!

Can you guess the rest?

Yep, it's happening again!! The other day I'm shopping in K-mart for Easter stuff. Some guy walks right next to me on the hair aisle and keeps going. Continuing to shop I didn't pay it any attention and went on. Standing in line checking out with Jacob, a Pepsi guy comes over and is filling the soda cooler. A little uncomfortable I notice he keeps staring at me, instead of working. Trying to ignore him I stood waiting playing with Jacob. Then it comes. Excuse me? Has anyone ever told you , you have a twin? Yes. He says the same thing as all the others, I just can't get over how much you look like her blah blah blah. He said he walked right by me a few times in the store, just to see if I would notice him. This really creeped me out! He even called her cell phone, while watching me from a distance, to see if I would answer my phone. (No wonder she let this guy go.) According to him she lives in the next town over from me, and is a dead ringer of me.

Now we live in a very small rural area. According to google there's less than 57,000 people in the whole county. What are the chances of us looking so much a like, around the same age, and moving in and out of the same area? I asked my mom if she was sure she only gave birth to one? Her answer was next time you talk to anyone you find out who her mother is!

I have so many questions about it all.
Would I recognize her if I saw her, and would she really look like me? With this just happening again recently it's really got me on high alert. I tend to look and analyze things a whole lot more. Now when someone glances or stares I wonder what they are thinking. If she doesn't have children I bet they wonder, I just saw her 4 months ago, how did she get kids? You know that may explain some confused looks I might see.
How many of my friends has she ignored or offended?
Does she get the same response from people?
Wonder if I'm the good twin or the bad twin?

Wonder? wonder? wonder????

All I know is I have thoroughly explained to my husband, I would never cheat, and if you ever see me out with anyone you better call me!

Fess up Friday

noreply@blogger.com (Bottles Barbies And Boys) — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 15:38:00 +0000

Alright Alright I Confess!!

I really don't have it altogether! I know this may come as a shock to all of you.Yes, I put on a good front. Hair and makeup is always done. I never take the kids anywhere in my sweats. Unless it's the gym. The kids are always dolled up and presentable. I arrive on time anywhere I need to be. I have a little OCD, when it comes to keeping my house clean. Oh you get the point. Well, for all of you who look in envy and strive to be the way I appear. I'll have you know. I have my hormonal freak outs in the mornings with the kids, when the are moving in slow motion. My house isn't always perfect. Drop in on any Sunday afternoon and you'll think the homeless have taken it over. Yeah I may get where I'm going on time. But, I'll have you know it wasn't without ramming through the gears getting out of the driveway, ("So that's what's wrong with the transmission!" Sorry Dear!!) or speeding and weaving through traffic, half taking out grandma in her Cadillac. ("Do you know how much a new transmission would cost us?" Oh Jason, let it go!!) Still not convinced? Alright! Just the other day I took Jacob with me to one of Madisen's school field trips. I was stressed to the gills, from running like a chicken with it's head cut off, cleaning my house before I had to go. All because of my can't leave a dirty house issues, I ran off forgetting my diaper bag. Here I was across town, with no diapers, no wipes, no extra change of clothes and no where near any stores. Unaware, of anything I had forgot I calmly enjoyed the trip. That was until Jacob decided to throw a huge temper tantrum in the middle of a play. Therefore forcing me to cut the trip short and leave. On the way home he fell asleep and somehow I managed to get him in the house without waking up. After he awoke from his nap, I go to change his diaper, and to my surprise he wasn't wearing one!! By the grace of God, luckily he hadn't done anything. Can you imagine what a disaster I could have been in? Now do you see? I've had two other kids before him, I should be doing a little better than this. Don't you think?

So fess up! What's your Confession?