BOSSY BETTY

Short Blog Break

2013-05-14T06:44:00.000-07:00

Hi Betty Peeps!

I hope you are all doing well. I have been busy at school and will be for another week or so. See that pile of tires? Imagine taking it down and stacking the tires neatly. That's what work feels like these days. It will get done, but I need to focus on it for a bit.

I miss visiting your blogs and catching up on your lives. I'll be back in about a week or so. Until then, I send big Betty hugs to you all!

--BB

Smoky Skies: Part Two

2013-05-07T04:00:00.000-07:00

I heard the winds before I saw and smelled the smoke. Around here, we have great weather most of the time, but when the Santa Ana winds come, we baton down the hatches and wait for the howling, hot winds to pass.

A month ago, I would have rushed out into the back yard and tried to prop up my rickety fence, hoping beyond hope that the boards I wedged beneath it would keep it from being pushed over by the punishing winds.

However, this time around, I looked at my brand new fence, recently built by my friend David. It’s solid, every board screwed in place, and every post planted firmly in concrete.

What relief I felt at knowing my fence was strong.

Then I saw the dark clouds in the distance and I stepped outside. I could smell the smoke. A fire was raging in the somewhere in the nearby mountains. My stomach tightened. The dry conditions and the winds would surely add up to trouble.

I looked at my fence and realized that my sense of security in my fence meant nothing to a fire that would simply sneer at my feeble attempt at defense and lick up the wood on its way to bigger game.

So many of my friends are going through rough times right now. Job loss, cancer, depression, legal issues, and foreclosure have plagued individuals I love. Two have recently lost parents; another recently faced the unexpected death of her brother. One friend stands by her phone expecting word of her mother’s death any minute now.

The list is long and I ache for their suffering. I see them search for emotional lumber with which to fortify their fences. Even though it may be only an illusion of protection and shelter, I help when I can, for it is a necessary illusion.

In the distance, there are fires that burn and capricious winds that howl.

Years ago, our beloved cat Donald got trapped in the dryer and was tumbled around in the high heat for ten minutes. He was near death when he came out, but ultimately he survived though looking worse for the wear. His ears were ragged and his tail was broken. Even so, to us he had only gained in stature and beauty.

To us, he was the most beautiful cat in the entire world. We loved him more than ever before because of what he had survived.

These experiences that are tumbling my dear friends around right now may indeed make them feel vulnerable and fragile. I know some of them feel bruised and scrawny, beaten up by the hot dry winds that surround them.

But what I want them to know is that to the people who love you, these experiences you are going through only serve to make you more beautiful. We marvel at your strength and grace, even when you feel weak and awkward.

In the end, these powerful, painful forces shape us all into deeper, more empathic human beings.

Rough winds and fire come and go in our lives.

We survive.

We learn to help each other out, to give each other shelter.

Together, we build our fences, alert for more fires in the distance.

We go on with life.

Monday Morning Flowers

2013-05-06T04:00:00.000-07:00

Good Monday Morning!

Time to get out there and make the world a great place!

Hope your weekends were good ones!

In your comment let me know about the best thing you ate all weekend long.

Me? I had an amazing peanut butter cup cookie!

You?

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

--Charles Schultz

Smoky Skies

2013-05-05T04:00:00.000-07:00

The current Southern California Wildfire started on the edge of our town.

As a result, the past few days around here have been strange.

Can you see the water helicopter in the above picture?

We are so grateful for the 1000 firefighters at work.

High winds have not been helping the situation.

Lots of smoke and lots of ash falling from the sky!

Zelda is still going outside, but likes the protection of the patio umbrella.

Thanks to all who asked about our well-being! We are just fine, but eager for fires to be out!

Teaching Through Texting

2013-05-02T04:00:00.000-07:00

From the beginning of the semester, I try to impress upon my students the fact that they are not writing in a vacuum.

We discuss writer-based writing versus reader-based writing. We talk about audience awareness. I emphasize that the lack of circumambient activity means they must think about how they are connecting to their readers.

Soon, their eyes start to glaze over.

I try a simpler approach.

“Writing is powerful,” I say. “The words you write should matter to you AND to your reader.”

Alas, as the semester wears on and they lapse into flat, dull, bland, all-purpose writing, I lament that my message has not gotten through.

The other day, my class had just ended. The students started filing out and I saw the screen on my phone light up with a new text. I glanced at it. It was a message from that Certain Very Nice Man with whom I am deeply smitten.

I picked up my phone and read the text—a tender, sweet reminder that he was thinking of me at that moment.

Putting my phone back down on the desk, I turned to see my student Sarah standing there, smiling a smug smile at me.

“Well! That text made you very happy, didn’t it?” she said in that slightly sing-singy, teasing voice nineteen-year-old girls use so well.

I nodded and maybe even giggled a little. (The text having made me feel a bit like a giddy nineteen- year-old girl myself.)

“I could tell by the way you reacted to it,” she said.

She turned to leave, but then hesitated and turned toward me, “You know,” she said. “I text all the time and I’ve never really thought about what people look like when they read what I write. Watching you just now makes me think about that.”

I smiled and nodded, knowing enough to leave the moment alone and not kill it with teacher-talk. (Though I was tempted!)

She stood there for about three seconds, just looking at the phone in her hand.

Then she looked at me and said, “Sweet!”

“Sweet, indeed,” I replied.

She walked toward the door, waving over her shoulder.

“Bye, Professor. See you next time!”

“Bye, Sarah. See you next time.”

April

2013-04-30T04:00:00.000-07:00

It’s been a bit of a crazy time at school. It was nice having an early Spring Break back in March, but this April brought us a solid wall of classes.

The days have been passing pretty slowly, papers are piling up, and a kind of stress-filled monotony has taken over. I think all of us, students and teachers alike, will breathe a sigh of relief when that that calendar flips over to May which will bring finals week, graduation, and summer break.

I had been feeling that churning malaise when I walked into my Wednesday night class last week.

When my kids were little, I took on a night class so I could be with them during the day more. Over the years, I have enjoyed the older students that tend to take the night classes. However, I am trying a different schedule next semester, one that will allow me to leave in the afternoons.

The students are in the middle of writing their research papers, so we had an active class that night. They were helpful with each other, engaged in their work, and the time went by quickly. A few students lingered after class to ask me questions. I stayed, chatted with them about their lives, and we shared a laugh before we said goodbye at around 8:00. Night students are so different from day students and I will miss them next year. I watched them to their cars, moving as a group, then spreading out, separating, each back to his or her own individual life.

It was slightly cool as I walked out into the California evening. The campus was quiet, and there was a marine layer just settling over all the buildings, bathing everything in a misty hue. I walked down the sidewalk listening to the click of my heels on the sidewalk, past the lit classrooms full of students.

Turning the corner, I walked by the faculty office wing. Through the windows I could the see the hall lights shining on the heavy wooden doors. I smiled to see those familiar names on the doors, but also felt a twinge as I thought about some of the names that have disappeared over the years.

I hugged my folders tightly to my chest, and suddenly knew that all of those thoughts I had been having were wrong. All that desire to see time go by quickly was wrong.

Every single minute of life is precious.

My mind flashed back quickly to a Sunday night dinner with friends years ago. As we gathered our things to go home, a few of us started moaning and groaning at the thought of Monday morning coming and start of the work week. I then looked over at our friend Raul who had stopped working due to issues surrounding his brain cancer. I knew he would have given anything to get up the next morning, get in his car and drive to work.

What seems like monotony to one is heaven to another.

I am grateful for that insight I had on that foggy night. Sometimes it is in the semi-darkness that the truths in life shine out more brightly.

The next morning, I got up and got to campus even earlier than usual, feeling incredibly lucky to go back to my job, back to my students, back to that wonderful, stressful, life-affirming monotony.

Monday Morning Flowers!

2013-04-29T04:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday!!!

Hope you had a great weekend!

We rock on to another week!

Let's make it a good one!

It takes a lot of energy to be negative. You have to work at it. But smiling is painless. I'd rather spend my energy smiling.

--Eric Davis

Love Me, Love My Appliances.

2013-04-23T04:00:00.000-07:00

This COULD be his first test....

Thanks to all of you who responded to my post, “Flood” in which I bemoaned the fact that I do not have someone in my life who lives with me and cares about my appliances as much as I do.

Relationships when we are young involve an important ritual that is, in general, lacking in relationships started later in life.

When you are young and just starting to build a household, you most often start off with little or nothing. Together you go in, and pick out an appliance or a piece of furniture. Together you save your money, make those payments together, pay off the appliance or furniture and then, together, you celebrate what you have accomplished, high-fiving each other over a bag of burgers and fries shared in the front seat of a car that is yet to be paid off.

That kind of working toward a goal is hard work and requires sacrifice, but when it’s between two people who are in love and share the same goals, it can act as a kind of super glue for the relationship.

Relationships that start in the 40’s and 50’s usually don’t entail that kind of goal setting. In fact, there are probably duplicate appliances and furniture involved and so it comes down to winnowing away the ones that are older or less loved.

I purchased all new appliances this summer and despite my refrigerator leaking and the tube from the washing machine coming out of the wall, I am quite proud of all of them and am betting that they remain in my life for a long time.

However, what if I get married again in the future? My mate will have had nothing to do with the acquisition of these appliances. He will not be invested in them.

They will be, at best, step-appliances.

Will that give me the kind of partnership I am looking for? How can I be sure?

Thinking ahead for any possible hypothetical scenario, I present to you the hypothetical vows I intend to have my hypothetical beloved state during our hypothetical wedding ceremony:

I, (incredibly handsome, generous, kind, good-natured man), take your appliances, Betty, to be my very own.

I promise to have and to hold the manuals in a file cabinet for easy access and later reference.

I promise to clean all surfaces with Betty-approved non-abrasive cleaners.

I hereby pledge to be concerned and ever vigilant about weak dishwasher hoses, clogged waterlines, and low water pressure.

I promise never to place fruit pits or grease in the Badger 2000 disposal and to immediately retrieve spoons from the p-trap despite murky and gross conditions therein.

Your lint trap is my lint trap and shall be cleaned vigorously on a regular basis.

I will cherish the little digital clock on the oven, forsaking all other digital readouts, no matter how flashy they may be.

I will have, but never hold up the spinning glass tray in the microwave by putting too big of a plate upon it.

I will be defend and protect the oven in both preheat mode and that crazy high degree self-cleaning mode.

And, I solemnly promise to stand beside you and love you as you flatten your ear against the freezer door and ask over and over again, "Does that sound right to you? Do you hear that rattling? I hear a death rattle. Does that sound right to you?"

I will care for and be concerned about your appliances, taking them as my own and forsaking all others.

In the name of Amana, Kenmore and Maytag, I hereby pledge my commitment to you and to your appliances. This shall be an unlimited lifetime warranty without condition nor limitations.

Until death us do part, Baby. Until death us do part.

(High Five!!!)

Monday Morning Flowers!

2013-04-22T04:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Mondays!

Are we ready for the week ahead?

Here are some flowers to get you going!

These beauties were in the middle of cacti.

Purple bells ring out springtime!

I am into succulents lately. I thought this one was particularly pretty.

Hope you all have great weeks!

How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.

--George Washington Carver

Flooded

2013-04-21T06:14:00.000-07:00

Life has been buzzing along here. I have been keeping busy and I am a very happy person.

Living alone, I do get lonely from time to time, but in terms of day-to-day challenges, the most difficult thing about the post-divorce divorce life is keeping up with house repair and maintenance. It is not so much that my ex was a handyman. (He wasn’t.) I think it’s just knowing that there’s no one else to help me make decisions that bothers me. Granted, I could have sold the house, but instead I stayed and renovated it and I when I have to, I can hire people to fix things for me. That part is not easy for me, but I am learning how to do it.

What I miss the most is the partnership involved in building a life and in running a house. For example, I was having trouble with my freezer leaking a few weeks ago. It was driving me crazy and I was trying to detect a pattern to the madness. It would go for a week and then leak and then leak twice in a day. My laminate floor was taking a hit each time it happened.

I would wake up at 3:00 a.m. and wonder if my freezer was leaking, but what I discovered was that it was not the fact of a faulty appliance that bothered me, it was the fact that there was no one else in the world who cared about my refrigerator as much as I did. I wanted to wake up, and poke a partner and say, “Do you think our refrigerator is leaking? Do you? What do you think we should do about it?”

In the past few months I have made a concerted effort not to talk about these feelings to anyone but my best friends. Progress! That’s what it’s all about and I wanted to show some, both to myself and others. I am the can-do girl who can handle it all! Yep!

For instance, I put on my Big Girl Pants, called Sears, got the refrigerator fixed and proceeded on with life.

Yesterday I was having a great day, running errands, and potting plants. I put a load of laundry in my washing machine which is located in the kitchen and went out to the garage to do some straightening up.

About 45 minutes later, I went in to find my entire kitchen floor flooded. The water was everywhere: under the oven, under the dishwasher, under the washer and dryer. I knew I had to get the water up fast and had to get all of it if my floor was to survive at all. I felt a lump grow in my throat when I surveyed the mess, but I swallowed that lump. For a second, I felt alone. I felt overwhelmed, but I pushed down all those feelings. No pity parties. I could handle all of this. I got busy. I used every bath towel I had in the house to mop up the mess. I started using blankets and then kitchen towels.

I moved the washing machine out and then the dryer and found the water tube that had come loose. Then I found I had ripped the vent out of the wall when I had moved the dryer. I tried to get both of the tubes back in but was making a mess of things. I called my friend, David, who does maintenance for the college to get some advice. I tried my best to sound upbeat and confident that I could fix these things. David is a good friend and I don’t think I fooled him for one minute. He said he would be right over to take a look.

He arrived, climbed behind the dryer and started to work. I was still on my hands and knees mopping up water when I decided to stand up and get some paper towels.

WHACK! I hit the back of my head on a drawer I had pulled out to get kitchen towels out of.

OUCH. (Cuss words. Cuss words. Cuss words) I just sat there, unable to speak. The pain was intense.

David called out, “What was that noise?” I still couldn’t talk. He stood up and looked at me, “Was that your head?”

I nodded and rubbed my head. I felt the tears coming. I felt them coming fast, but I was confused about the feeling that was coming with them.

Of course I would cry after a blow like that, but these were not tears associated with pure physical pain.

I sat there and I cried and tried to get a grip on my emotions that were going wild. David was concerned, looking at me from behind the dryer.

I was powerless over the emotions that flooded my brain. It was as though the direct hit to my skull had dislodged some capsule of emotional pain that I had somehow had been keeping within in me.

I started choking out the words, “I HATE living alone! My kitchen is against me! I can’t handle all this! I should have sold this house.” I tried to stop the words, but they just kept coming. I wailed. "He left and now, I am all alone here in this big house and I can’t handle it! I can’t! I should just give up NOW! I’m going to give up, rent out a room somewhere, start wearing big dresses from K-mart and do all my laundry in a laundry mat for the rest of my life!!!”

I was shocked by my outburst. Where had that come from? "I hate living alone!" I repeated. Then I just sat there and cried.

Standing up, I held the back of my head and cried. David had managed to wedge himself between the washer and dryer to get closer to me. He reached out his arms. I went to him and he hugged me and told me everything was going to be OK. "Go sit down," he said.

I did.

He fixed the washer and dryer and then went to my freezer and got a bag of edamame to put on the big lump on my head. He stayed until he was sure I was going to be OK, reassuring me that what I was going through was natural, and I would bounce back, and he didn’t really expect me to start wearing the big dresses from K-Mart anytime soon.

I thought about all those feelings that had come up. Had I been unaware of their strength? Had I been suppressing them? Ignoring them? Yes. Yes. Yes. You see, deep down, I was afraid that if I gave into them, I would sink back down into the mire in which I had spent a large part of the last year.

However, a great and wonderful thing happened.

I expressed my pain and frustration and then I went on with my life. I didn’t dwell on the pain. I didn’t sink down into mourning or depression. In fact, I went out with a friend that evening and we had dinner, went shopping and had a great time.

One thing I am still learning is to get out of my own way when it comes to this mending of my life. That jolt of physical pain somehow gave me permission to vent some emotional pain that I had been holding back, some of which I had not known was even still in there.

I didn’t really need that flood on my kitchen floor, but I did need that emotional flood to wash away some pain that I had been pushing down.

The knot on the back of my head is still tender, but so, thank goodness, is my heart.

I now trust that both will be completely healed someday very soon.

Monday Morning Flowers

2013-04-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

Good Morning, My People!

Hope you are in the mood for a little variety today.

I have no idea what kind of flowers these are, but aren't they pretty?

Hey! Here's some bamboo! Just for YOU!

And of course, I have to throw in the traditional rose too!

Hope you have a great week ahead!

Be impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

--Miguel Angel Ruiz

Monday Morning Flowers!

2013-04-01T04:00:00.000-07:00

Happy Monday!

Hope you had a great Easter!

We are loving Spring around here and all the beauty that it brings!

How was your weekend?

I had a busy weekend with a Certain Very Nice Man! I want to thank him for ALL the good times!

Here is a partial list of our activities:

Four mile walk
Trip to dog park
Washing the dog
Going to movie
Many nice dinners
Going to comedy show
Coloring Easter Eggs
Trip to a museum
A romantic stroll around the harbor
Trip to the library
Singing in the car
Long, wonderful talks

Whew! Now it is back to work. Life is good!

Here's to a great week ahead!

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.

--John Barrymore

My Vacation From Personal Hygiene

2013-03-27T04:00:00.000-07:00

Appearance Chemicals.

I'll never leave home without them again.

It was one of the last days of my Spring Break. My internal clock was still on School Time, so I got up around 6:00 a.m., grabbed some old, high-water sweat pants and a tattered sweatshirt and took Kia out for a three mile walk in the semi-darkness of the early morning.

I came back home, slightly sweaty and decided to celebrate my day of freedom by having a leisurely breakfast in bed while reading the paper. Mmmmmm! Peanut butter scooped up with shredded wheat squares! Delicious! I dropped a big blob of peanut butter on my chest. No napkin? No problem! No need to disturb the two cats and one dog already camped out on my body. I wiped up the blob with my sleeve. After all, I would be doing laundry later on. I had the whole day ahead!

There is something spectacular about having a day to yourself. No schedules, no meetings, no need to get up and go anywhere. I could loll around in bed all day if I wanted to. This was one day I didn’t have to follow my usual routine of showering, then applying ample make-up and at least a pound of hair products, followed by blow drying and dressing up in my teacher clothes.

I’d get to all that hygiene stuff soon enough, I thought, but first maybe I’d take a nap in this little Pet Paradise that surrounded me.

A nap in the morning. Oooooooo… I thoroughly enjoyed it and after about an hour of snoozing, I uprooted the animals and went out to the kitchen for a stack of cookies and a glass of tea.

Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, I surveyed my backyard. I spied a bare piece of ground and the flat of ice plant I had been waiting to plant there. Spring was in the air, the ground was soft and muddy, and I was out of cookies, so I went out and started digging. I planted that flat and then decided to transplant some other flowers. My nails were filthy and so were my sweats. Kia joined me, jumping up on me with her muddy paws. Together, we enjoyed a full morning of gardening.

Since I was already filthy from the planting, I decided to take Kia to the dog park before I took a shower. I pulled on a hat over my hair that was strangely flat on one side and teased up on the other and headed over to the park. Kia played with poodles, boxers and one very slobbery Newfoundland who enjoyed passing by my leg, leaving his foamy spit on my thigh.

I fully intended to take a shower when I got home, but as I walked by the garage I noticed some things that needed to be moved around and straightened out.

I was already filthy, so I thought I should do it before my bath. Besides, this whole not taking a shower thing/ marinating in my own filth thing was starting to feel really good. It emphasized the freedom of my day. There would not be the hypercritical eyes of eighteen and nineteen year-old students scrutinizing my wardrobe and hair. Ah yes, life in these high water sweat pants was good! I finally understood why people (OK, OK, usually non-ambulatory patients or the morbidly obese) wore them all the time. Freedom, baby!

I started cleaning the garage and really got into organizing some tools I had thrown on the shelf. Then there were all the recycles to sort out. Oh, and I needed to sweep out all the dirt that had built up in one of the corners.

I stopped only to eat chips and salsa out in the garage, sitting on a lawn chair and slurping up the thick and chunky salsa. Some fell down onto my lap, but I found a chip scraped across the surface of fleece kind of left a wavy pattern of red reminiscent of a blood stain just like on the crime shows on TV. Cool! As I sat and ate the chip that I had done the scraping with, (oh yes, I did) I looked around at my garage. I was getting things done! I was organizing my life!

I drank down two cans of Diet Pepsi in a row. (I include this detail in the hope that the caffeine can be blamed for my next series of thoughts.)

I eyed the shelves against the wall. Suddenly, I needed plastic boxes—the see-through kind—to put all my stuff in! I did!!! AND I had to have them immediately! My purse was already in the car. All I had to do was get in and go.

So I did.

I headed to Target.

You know.

The one people go to.

People with eyes.

I sat there in my car in the parking lot, kind of stunned. What were all these other people doing here? Really? Other people? Shouldn’t they all be at home or at work? I looked down at my outift and realized how ratty and dirty I looked.

Still, I didn’t want to go back without my boxes, so in desperation, I dug around in my glove box for a tube of old lipstick I had thrown in there when it got sort of crusty and I didn’t want it cluttering up my purse. I put some on in the rearview mirror.

Oh yeah. That would do it, I thought. That would distract from the high water pants with the dog slobber and salsa on it. No one would even notice my sweatshirt with the peanut butter now covered with dust and cat hair.

Since the lipstick was pretty crusty, I pressed hard on the tube with my mud-encrusted fingernails, circling it over and over my lips in a semi-maniacal way.

Pretty Betty.

Preeeeetttttyyy Betty.

Just a little more round. Just one more coat.

Oh yeah.

I could feel the waxy, slightly chunky layers upon my lips.

Preeeetttyyyyy Betty!

I got out of the car, pulling my sweats down until they almost reached the top of my shoes, (which of course, pulled down the crotch of the pants almost to my knees). I stuffed my uneven nest of hair under my hat, stood up as straight as I could (what with the pants situation and all...) and then I took my clown lips into Target, determined to look just as natural and at ease as I could.

Walk with confidence, I thought.

It’s all about the attitude. Zena, Warrior Princess, Strides Through Target for Plastic Boxes.

Alas, Zena turned into Ms. Pacman the minute she saw someone she knew. It was a student of mine!

Nooooooo! No. No. No.

I zipped up one aisle, cut through one of the back aisles and then turned the corner. I was almost there.

One more aisle.

Then I saw her. There in the box aisle, in front of MY BOXES, was a woman I had not seen for a very long time.

OH CRAP. NO. NO. NO.

Now, she’s a perfectly nice person, but not someone I’d consider a close friend—not the kind of person you could sidle up to in my condition, snort and say, “Oh, man! I knew I’d see somebody I knew. I am a mess! Look at me! Can you believe it?” No! She was an acquaintance to me. We know a lot of the same people.

And the first thought that entered my vain little head was that I had not seen her since my divorce.

I could just hear her telling people about our encounter later.

“Ohhhhh, I saw Betty at Target and she has really let herself go since her husband left. It is so sad,” she’d say, shaking her head.

I spun around and headed the other way, trying not to look too obvious. I pulled my cap lower on my face, and quickly turned the corner and headed down the first aisle I came to.

What aisle was that you ask?

What aisle?

The mirror aisle.

Yep. Imagine a nightmare where you are trapped in a creepy museum in which every display, every diorama, is of you at your worst. All the displays are the same and yet all just a little different, each one, just a little more horrible than the last.

There under the florescent lights, I saw myself pass by small mirrors, large mirrors, full-length mirrors, round mirrors, square mirrors, and weird little mirrors in the bellies of stick figures.

My mouth was still a bright O shape from the lipstick I had raced around it like a Formula One car. The peanut butter stain was still prominent on my chest. Since there were mirrors on all the shelves, some featured my pale face with my Mr. Bill mouth, while others just captured my sweatshirt with the mud and peanut butter stain. One very special row of mirrors framed the salsa stain which, now that I was standing, was hideously near my crotch and which still had a bit of either thick or chunky encrusted in it.

That did it.

The Target security staff watched as Ms. Pacman cut through aisles, around corners and straight through the doors at lightning speed. I went home and headed directly to the bathtub. I did not stop at Go. I did not collect $200.00. I had a mission. I used at least $50.00 worth of cleansing products and when I got out of the bath, I used another $75.00 worth of beauty supplies.

My recent adventure reconfirmed my decision to avoid prison and not to try out for any reality show that takes place on an island or anywhere devoid of a bathtub and a blow dryer. However, I gotta say, before I lost my mind and went out into public, my vacation from personal hygiene was pretty darn fun.

I may just do it again some day, but next time I'll give my car keys to a friend before I begin. And, no, there will be no vacation pictures to share. I promise.

Monday Morning Flowers!

2013-03-25T04:00:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody!

Happy Monday!

How does the week ahead look for you?

Spring has certainly sprung here.

School has been keeping me busy but I am eager to get back to blogging.

Hope you are all well and happy!

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.

Delicious Ambiguity.

--Gilda Radner

Back From San Francisco!

2013-03-14T04:00:00.000-07:00

I had a great trip to San Francisco with a Certain Very Nice Man!

The city! This was taken from the top of the De Young Museum.

We went to Chinatown and had big time fun.

The Bay Bridge--lit for two years. The lights change constantly. It was fantastic!

At the sea shore.

We hiked a lot!

I have always wanted to walk across the Golden Gate Bridge and we did it! It was so much fun!

We spent our last night at Fisherman's Wharf.

Loved our time together!

Spring Break!

2013-03-07T06:49:00.002-08:00

OK, OK, it does not officially start until the end of my classes today, but then it is Spring Break!

It comes early this year for us, but I am ready for it.

I'll be taking a road trip with a Certain Very Nice Man.

Woot! Woot!

I'll check in when I can!

Hope you have happy days!

At Peace With Unsolved Mysteries

2013-03-05T04:00:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it still boggles my mind that the man I spent thirty years in a marriage with lives just a town away and I have no communication with him.

So many of our years were good ones. We shared so many adventures, so many of life’s monumental moments. We both shared and continue to share the deep and abiding love of our sons.

For a long time I wanted to have some sort of communication with him, but he made it very, very clear early on that I would have no part whatsoever in his new life. In his eyes, I do not exist.

At first this upset me, and I fought against it. It was a complete and utter amputation and it hurt. It felt like a negation of all I had been, like I had never mattered.

Do I miss having someone with whom to share the narrative of our years together? Sure.

Only he and I know how it felt to travel across the country in a 1969 Buick and start our married life in California, how it felt to welcome our sons into the world, the joy we felt when we bought our house together, how we laughed at the dinner table one time until it hurt and we both had to leave the room. Only he and I know all those hundreds of stories surrounding our sons. We had shortcuts in language that no one else understood.

Ah, yes, in some ways it would be nice to have that connection only shared by those who travel for years and years together. However, when I think about sharing those memories it is with the man I used to know.

And I think he might be gone forever.

This healing process is a long and fascinating one and I have been changed by it. I used to be so bent on getting answers, finding resolutions, being in control.

However, I have come to understand things happen for a reason. I don’t know exactly why it is that some higher power has deemed it to be best that we have no contact, but I now have no doubt that this higher power is working for my benefit.

I am totally convinced that it really is for the best. Who knows why? Who cares?

All I know is that at this point in my life I am content.

I am happy.

I feel like I have been set free.

Monday Morning Flowers!

2013-03-04T04:00:00.001-08:00

Hi everybody!

Sorry I have been absent from Blogland.

I have been catching up with my classes and life in general.

The flowers around here have been bustin' out!

Love these flowering trees!

It's the start of strawberry season too! Whooo!

I've also been trying to keep that dog of mine out, about and exercised!

As you can see, we push the boundaries wherever we go!

No walking? No dogs allowed? Really?

If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.

--Kathryn Hepburn

Monday Morning Flowers

2013-02-18T04:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Monday Morning!!!

Raise your hand if you get today off.

Ah! Happy Times!

We had a gorgeous weekend here!

These beautiful trees are breaking into blossom all over town. They are so pretty and when the wind blows, the petals come down and for just a second you might think it was snow.

All this good California weather has us all ready to plant flowers!

That's what I'll be doing today. I intend to have my hands in potting soil most of the day, planting some gorgeous flowers in pots for the patio and front porch.

Hope you have a wonderful day!

All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a flower wherever the flower would grow in thought and mind.

--Abraham Lincoln

Happy Valentine's Day!

2013-02-14T04:00:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Hope you are surrounded by those who love you.

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.

--Lao Tzu

Getting My Picture Ya-Yas Out

2013-02-12T04:00:00.000-08:00

It's been some time since I've been out exercising my photography brain.

This weekend I had a chance to go out and about with a Certain Very Nice Man and take some pictures.

We went walking underneath some very impressive towers.

We went to a nursery and found lots of colorful cacti.

Pigeons! Lots and lots of pigeons!

And seagulls too!

Happy Tuesday to you all!

Monday Morning Flowers!

2013-02-11T04:00:00.000-08:00

Hi Everybody!

Enjoy your Monday Morning Flowers!

I had a full, fun weekend with a Certain Very Nice Man!

How about you? How was your weekend?

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.

--C.S. Lewis

Betty Luvs Quinoa

2013-02-08T04:00:00.000-08:00

Gotta love the quinoa! I get the tri-colored kind and cook up a big batch in my rice cooker. Then I throw it in everything I make.

This past week I was in the mood for a light kind of salad, so I mixed the quinoa with mini cucumbers and mixed it all together with seasoned rice vinegar. It was great!

This simple salad will rock your socks!

The Already Done List

2013-02-06T04:00:00.000-08:00

I was behind schedule. I felt overwhelmed. I pushed myself to hurry. I couldn’t believe I was lagging like this. I had meant to get so much more done. I looked at the clock for the tenth time that day.

It was 7:00 a.m.

Crazy.

At 9:30 I entered my office at work, sat down at my desk and took a deep breath. I had a full day ahead of me and yet I sat there, feeling like I was already behind.

Now, I believe in the power of a to-do list. I make one when I feel like I need to get organized, get a lot accomplished, and generally see in black and white what I need to get done.

That morning, I was just about to make a to-do list for myself but then I stopped. There I was about to “begin” my day and I was feeling behind and tired already. I took a minute and instead of a to-do list I decided to instead write an “Already Done” list for the morning.

Here’s what it looked like:

Got up.

Ate breakfast.

Read the paper.

Read about twenty blogs and commented on most.

Wrote e-mails to my family.

Texted a friend.

Walked the dog for three miles.

Showered.

Got dressed.

Fixed hair and make-up.

Made lunch and packed it up.

Straightened up house.

Ordered present from Amazon.

Checked bank account.

Had long talk with dog about not tearing up the house while I am at work.

Drove to school.

I sat there, looked at that list, and for once, I gave myself some credit for all I had done already that day instead of beating myself up for not getting enough done. It felt great and maybe it’s just a coincidence, but I went on to have a very productive day at work as well.

I think about those years when I was a working mom, when I had to get two little ones off to their schools in the morning. All those things I had to do and had to remember! I got kids up and fed, packed lunches and backpacks, and got everyone dressed and ready for the day. We had a cat who liked to steal socks and place them underneath the family van in the garage, so many mornings you could find me belly-crawling under the van to get one or two matching (sometimes matching) socks. My head spins when I think about all I did before I went to “work.”

One morning when Evan was about five years old, I had everything packed up and ready to go. It had been a hectic morning. I looked at the clock. If I was lucky, I could deliver the kids to their schools and still get to work on time. I hiked my bags on my shoulders and glanced down to see Evan, standing there with his shoes untied.

As I bent down to tie them, the bags fell down, and off my shoulders. Ouch. Grrr. I felt myself getting frustrated. As I tied his shoes, I felt his little boy hands on either side of my head. “There goes the hairdo” was my first thought. Then he said, “You have a very busy brain this morning, Mommy.”

He squeezed my head and I felt those sweet little hands curving perfectly around my skull. I raised my head, my eyes level with his from my kneeling position and looked into his blue eyes. Suddenly, I was no longer overwhelmed by time constraints but instead overwhelmed with gratitude at being able to be at that place, at that time, with this dear little person.

I think about all my nieces and friends who are young mothers. They carry so much on their shoulders and need to be reminded of all they do even before the official workday begins.

That work matters.

So this is for you, Carrie M, Trisha, Amanda, Alyssa, Jillian, Carrie F, Rebecca and all the other young mothers out there. Make that “Already Done” list this morning and feel proud of all you have accomplished. Maybe you’ve made breakfasts. Maybe you’ve made lunches. Maybe you’ve made the bed. Heck, maybe you’ve simply made a path to the bed. That’s OK! Celebrate it. Above all, you’ve made life easier for someone else and that’s worth putting at the top of the list.

Monday Morning Flowers!

2013-02-04T04:00:00.000-08:00

Hello, My People!

How is the week ahead looking for you?

Are you ready?

Here are some flowers to get you started this morning.

Life is good!

Today is a Fresh Start!

Let's make the most of it.

Don’t look further for answers: be the solution. You were born with everything you need to know. Make a promise to stop getting in the way of the blessing that you are. Take a deep breath, remember to have fun, and begin.

-Jonathan H. Ellerby