Bo Knows - A Funny Dog Blog

Porky Wants You Off His Back

Ever been to a rodeo? OK, probably not.

Have you ever seen a rodeo on TV? You have!

Well, have you ever seen a horse race? Me too!

Is it just me that wonders why one sport has huge humans riding food while the other has one hundred and five pound satin wearing porcelain dolls riding glue?

Why isn’t it the other way around? It certainly would be more entertaining.

Imagine Secretariat with a 220lb behemoth on her back. Suddenly she looks like me at the tail end of a Sunday afternoon trip to the park. Or how about Fantasma launching a jockey clear across the ring? That would be awesome, no?

Leave it up to the Japanese to take all this insight and come up with something truly innovative. Sure their idea won’t launch a pint sized human high into the air by the key ingredient in Hamburger Helper, but they have come up with something unique.

Ill let the eXaminer.com provide the details.

Imagine riding on the back of 285 pounds of oinking and squealing flesh for a chance at several hundred dollars. Well that is what 40 men and women did at the 26th annual “Pig Rodeo” on August 13th, 2009. The event is held every year in town of Mikame, which is part of Seiyo City, Ehime Prefecture in west Japan.

During the rodeo the pig and riding contestant are released into a small ring, around 30 feet in diameter. The pig then proceeds to shake off the rider, who holds on for dear life, in a matter of seconds. There is a 50,000 yen (about $500 USD) prize for the person who holds on the longest.

Ten pigs were used in this year’s contest; each was around one year old and all were bred in Japan.

The event is part of the Seiyo City Mikame Summer Festival, and is gaining fame each year.

I’d rather eat bacon than ride it. But hey, that’s just me.

Here’s the video of some good pig riding fun.

Hide the Kids, Owl on the Prowl

Ruhh Rowww.

Tell me this wouldn’t suck. You’re chowing down on a particularly tasty tree limb, perfectly aged, perfectly tender when out of the blue you feel the talons of a big bird grip your head and pull you off the ground.

Before you know it, you’re cruising through your neighborhood with a Google mapesque, bird’s eye view. The only thing missing are the street names. The unenjoyable part? A claw, with a hangnail, puncturing the hide behind your noggin.

Soon enough you’ll be dropped off into a bed of pine needles, sky high in a tree. Getting down from there is going to be a bitch. But you know not every day is going to be a cat chase.

If you think I’m making this up, then read today’s warning from the TimesOnline.

Police have warned people not to approach a dangerous giant owl that could be hungry enough to attack and eat domestic pets.

The European eagle owl, which has a 2m (6ft) wingspan and is 1m tall, escaped from an enclosure in its owner’s back garden at Lower Stratton, near Swindon, Wiltshire, on Sunday.

A Wiltshire Police spokeswoman said: “The owner went into the enclosure and the owl flew at him. He ducked and the bird flew out.

“As it has been bred in captivity, the owl is unlikely to attack humans, but it could try to carry off a cat or small dog. If anyone spots the owl they should contact police and we will send an appropriate team with the right sort of equipment to catch it.”

Loose Monkey Outsmarts Humans

As regular readers know, I’m an escape artist.

The technique I now employ differs from what I used as a puppy. These days I walk to the back of the yard to a spot outside of my parents’ view, and dig under the fence. My paw claw takes two or three strokes, then stops. I look around and make sure I’m not noticed, then continue on if appropriate. After the hole is sufficiently deep, I’ll gnaw off the bottom of the fence post so as not to scratch my back on the way to freedom.

This process may take a day or two since getting caught means my work was for naught. Patience is what I preach. Well, when planning an escape anyway.

Once free I’ll cruise the neighborhood visiting friend and foe alike. It isn’t until I’m sufficiently dirty, or hungry, that I return to my humble abode. As I like to bark, you gotta live while you can.

That must be the same motto of a monkey in Florida. Turns out he’s been loose for over a year. The UPI has the details for you.

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla., March 4 (UPI) — Authorities in Florida said a grinning monkey on the loose for more than a year once again evaded capture, despite being shot with two tranquilizer darts.

Gary Morse, a spokesman for the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, said commission officials, police and a wildlife rehabilitator responded Wednesday after the monkey was spotted in St. Petersburg, the Tampa (Fla.) Tribune reported Thursday.

Morse said the monkey, believed to be a rhesus macaque, was shot with two tranquilizers but still managed to flee its pursuers.

“The drugs just don’t seem to affect him for whatever reason,” wildlife rehabilitator Vernon Yates said. “We’ve increased the dosage every time that we’ve shot him. What we’re really doing is turning him into a drug addict.”

Yates said investigators do not know where the monkey came from, but it displays intelligence when fleeing capture.

“He runs to a busy street; he just doesn’t just run, dart through traffic like a normal cat or dog does,” Yates said. “He stops and looks.”

Morse said officials are appealing to the public and media to keep clear of the monkey to keep from scaring it away.

Note the date of the story; March4th. Then this morning I see this one.

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla., March 9 (UPI) — A Florida woman said she used a banana to try to lure a loose monkey spotted outside of her home, but the animal ran off after a few minutes.

Pam Gaylor of the Bahama Shores neighborhood of St. Petersburg said she saw the monkey, which has been on the loose in the Tampa Bay area for about a year, at about 11:30 a.m. Monday in her back yard, the St. Petersburg Times reported Tuesday.

Gaylor said the monkey ran along the side of her house and climbed a neighbor’s tree.

“I grabbed a banana and went outside and was chasing after him,” Gaylor said. “I thought he just looked like he needed food and I felt sorry for him.”

She said the monkey was in her line of sight for at least two minutes before slipping away.

The monkey, believed to be a male rhesus macaque, was first seen on the loose in the Tampa Bay area in late 2008. The animal was spotted during the weekend by residents in the southern part of St. Petersburg.

I researched this a bit more and found more news stories here, here, and here.

When it comes to escapes, this monkey means business.

City Squatters Forced Out

The big apple. New York City.

I drove through it once, with my parents, on the way to Georgia. It had lots of buildings, lots of big squirrels with thin tails and lots of pigeon poop.

Outside of the abundance of fire hydrants, I didn’t get the attraction to the place. But to each his own.

Like a bunch of chickens who’ve been hanging out in the city for the better part of twenty years. Yeah they got small brains, but what’s kept them there? A rooster pimp is all I can come up with.

The Daily News prints it up and points out their tale in today’s edition.

Some plucky Bronx chickens have flown the coop for greener pastures.

With nets and their bare hands, a group of scrappy volunteers captured 35 of the wily wild chickens living in a commercial parking lot in Highbridge, sending them off to a sanctuary upstate.

K&N Parking Lot manager Ramon Lopez and his wife, Carmen, have been caring for the birds – believed to be the city’s largest brood of wild chickens – for more than 20 years. Faced with the expense of an ever-growing group, and threatened with a $500 city fine, Lopez reluctantly accepted help with finding his chicks new homes.

The wild crowd has been a neighborhood favorite, attracting parking lot regulars and young neighbors like 4-year-old Jack Nuciforo to feed them cookies.

Saturday, volunteers with Farm Sanctuary gathered at the lot on Edward L. Grant Highway to help corral the birds.

Many in the feathered flock proved elusive though, darting under parked cars and through fences to escape capture.

“We need a better plan,” panted one volunteer after a futile chase down Cromwell Ave.

Equipped with bird feed, crates and nets, the chicken wranglers fanned out.

After four hours, the volunteers managed to crate about three dozen birds. “It’s between serious strategy and luck,” laughed volunteer Kim Korona.

Rumor has it Korona just does it for the glow.

Squirrels Live on Coconut Grove

I’ve got a lovely pair of coconuts. Or should I say, I used to. Speaking of coconuts, let’s talk fruits and the best kind. Personally I like apples. My old man hand feeds me nicely sliced wedges. Apple cores need not apply. I think my father likes the way I chew them because he laughs while I eat. I just wish he’d let me dunk it in the caramel dip once in a while. Watermelon. I love watermelon. I get my supply of the watery goodness in the summer when it’s abundant, and cheap. It’s delivered rindless, cubed and seedless. That last part is important because my mother hates cleaning up the seeds I’ve spit out on the living room floor. She’s always careful about reading the label on melons. My father likes checking out melons too, but that’s an entirely different story. Finally, grapes. I love grapes. In fact I just had a hung bunch of ‘em. Why just the…whoa… I’m not feeling…well…right…now. *Crash* I’ve fallen and I can’t get up . . . . . . Just kidding folks. I wanted to give everyone a quick reminder that grapes are deadly to dogs. Don’t feed them to us, regardless of how cute we look and how much we beg. But back to coconuts. Today we have light hearted story of a wacky human and two squirrels playing the game. The Sun has the full story

THESE two squirrels go to infinity and beyond to prove they are nuts about coconuts — diving head-first into the shells for a satisfying snack. The peckish pair look more like starved spacemen tucking into the tropical treats in animal lover Jane Roberts’ back garden in Fareham, Hants. Jane, 46, leaves out two coconuts a week for her furry friends. She suspends them on pieces of string from her washing line and watches the crazy critters digging in. Jane said: “The first time I saw them feeding I nearly died laughing, they looked like a pair of astronauts. “Even now I can’t stop chuckling every time I see them. “I make a large hole in the coconut so they can get to the flesh. They can’t get enough of them. “I worry they might get stuck in there one day, but they are clever little things.”

Coconut marinated squirrel. I can’t wait for dinner.

Hen Plays the Identity Theft Game

Cock-a-doodle-do. Good morning folks.

I start today with that intro because I love chickens, especially boiled. Nothing is better than sucking on the pimply rubber skin of a boiled chicken carcass. The dish is my mother’s specialty. Well, if you take the microwave away from her, and the telephone, that is.

My father? Not a fan. That’s why I get twice the helpings when she makes it. If he’d just do me a favor and keep the overcooked spinach to himself, it would be a perfect date night meal.

But I digress from today’s highlighted story. It’s about a hen, some pups and love. The Telegraph has all the details.

The one-year-old, called Mabel, took a shine to the pups at a farm in Shrewsbury and now keeps them warm by roosting on top of them in their dog basket.

Her owners – Edward and Ros Tate – said she waited until the puppies’ mother – Nettle – left them before hopping into the basket to keep them warm.

Nettle is now left out in the cold – pining for her puppies in the yard as they nest with their adopted mother.

Mr Tate, 43, of The Isle at Bicton Heath, Shropshire, said: “Mabel was hatched here about a year ago. She would have gone onto someone’s dinner plate but we saved her and brought her into the house.

“Unfortunately, she got into an accident with a horse, which accidentally trod on her foot. Because of that, she gets terribly cold during the winter so we decided to bring her into the house.”

“And then we had puppies about three weeks ago. Mabel observed Nettles behaviour and, as soon as there was a chance, she hopped into the dog basket to roost on the pups. She keeps them and herself warm, while Nettle is outside on the yard.

“It was within a week Mabel was jumping in the box with them and brooding over them. She took to them like they were her own chicks.

“Nettle was a bit startled to say the least – but she didn’t mind too much eventually. She’s happy to have a helping pair of wings.

“We were amazed when we first it happen – my 13-year-old daughter first saw it happen and called us to come and have a look. And when we saw Mabel here roosting on the pups – we just laughed.

“We’re hoping that soon Mabel will have her own chicks to look after but I don’t think Nettle will be returning the favour when that happens.”

I wonder, when these pups grow up, will they eat chicken?

Elephant Objects to Marriage

I’m not a fan of formal ceremonies, mostly because I’m never invited.

Informal get togethers are another matter entirely. Typically they’re held in the back yard of one my parents’ friends houses, with all matter of species invited. Well, dogs mostly and the occasional cat.

For the most part we’re all relatively well behaved. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like we eat our hamburgers and hot dogs with knives and forks, but rather we don’t eat the little kids out in the open.

Relax. I’m talking about Sour Patch Kids. My dentist highly recommends them. For what it’s worth, the yellow ones make me scrunch my face.

Since I’m always well behaved, especially in social situations, I wondered why I never got to go one of those formal affairs. Today’s story gives a hint as to why. Thaindian News has the complete tale.

A male elephant, kept on display at the marriage reception of the children of two Bahujan Samaj Party (BSP) MPs, ran amok, attacking and damaging 20 cars, a truck and a police jeep before it was brought under control, police said Thursday.

According to police, three elephants were on a display at the wedding reception.

Around 10.30 p.m, the male elephant turned violent and started attacking the parked cars of the guests, before moving towards the lawn where the guests were. But then it changed track to another side where a welcome gate was erected. It destroyed the gate and moved towards the parking lot where it flipped over about 20 cars.

As a truck passed on the road, the elephant ran towards it and hit it, toppling it into a road side ditch. The elephant then moved towards a police jeep and rammed it from the front, while the driver and the other policemen narrowly escaped being seriously injured or beign trampled upon by the tusker.

When police realised that the elephant was out of control, they informed forest officials.

Typical. There’s always one guest who has to make an ass out of himself. His family will never forget this.

Boozing Monkey Sent to Rehab

We all have our vices.

My canine sister Copper is obsessed with farts, my feline sister Mothball is fascinated by the cursor on this screen and, I hate to admit it, I can’t make it through a day without barking at squirrels.

These are heavy burdens to carry but it beats the one loading down my parents. In short, they’re addicted to love. Love of the furry kind.

Our house is now fur central with the addition of several new members. In addition to Copper and Mothball, they have added into the mix Patience and Goliath. Both are rescues from the Bernese Auction Rescue Coalition, and as the name implies, Bernese Mountain Dogs. There isn’t much space on the bed these days.

What was once my lone domain is now littered with pups. My only recourse is to call animal control and report my family as hoarders. It’s the only way to get my spot on the pillow back.

I guess it could be worse. My parents could be the chimpanzee in today’s story courtesy of Reuters.

MOSCOW (Reuters) – A Russian chimpanzee has been sent to rehab by zookeepers to cure the smoking and beer-drinking habits he has picked up, a popular daily reported on Friday.

An ex-performer, Zhora became aggressive at his circus and was transferred to a zoo in the southern Russian city of Rostov, where he fathered several baby chimps, learned to draw with markers and picked up his two vices.

“The beer and cigarettes were ruining him. He would pester passers-by for booze,” the Komsomolskaya Pravda paper said.

It added he has now been transferred to the city of Kazan, about 800 km (500 miles) east of Moscow, for rehabilitation treatment.

(Reporting by Tanya Ustinova, writing by Amie Ferris-Rotman)

Next stop: Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew.

Dog Turns Owner Over to Police

I’m not a snitch.

When my father rolls in at midnight after boys’ night out, I don’t bark to alert my mother of his arrival. I wait, knowing he’ll dig into the fridge for something to eat. Sure it might be a week old plate of spaghetti or a plate of tuna salad from an era long gone by, but like him I’m not proud, just hungry.

When my sister Moose captures a mouse, chews its head off and brings it into the house, I don’t bark a thing. It’s not my place. My place is in the corner, to watch my mother discover it and scream in horror. Why would I want to break up the surprise?

Speaking of surprises I don’t bark when my father comes home with Christmas presents either. Why spoil the heartfelt gifts of a swiffer, a toaster oven and a set of pans. Romance baby…the man is all romance.

So it surprised me when I read this morning’s police blotter about a Jack Russell dropping a dime on his owner. The BBC has the full story.

The excited pet dog of a German man on the run from the law led police to his master’s hiding place in a cupboard, police in the west of the country say.

When officers called at his flat in Euskirchen, near Cologne, the door was opened by an acquaintance of the missing man who was holding the dog.

The acquaintance said he did not know where the owner was.

But when the dog was set down, it led police to the cupboard, where it stood expectantly with its tail wagging.

Officers who opened the cupboard, which was just a metre (3ft 3in) high and 80cm (2ft 6in) wide, found the fugitive “hunched up inside”.

Neither the name of the suspect, 52, nor that of the pet was given but, according to AFP, the dog was a Jack Russell terrier.

Public Service Announcement: Crime doesn’t pay. Begging does.

Cliff Diving Dog Survives Plunge

I jumped into a lake once.

Not on purpose, but by accident. You see there was this leaf, cleverly disguised as a big rock, floating in the lake a few feet below me. I thought it was a perfect place for a photo opp. Humans love those.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, is there anything more majestic than a beautiful mixed breed dog, dressed up in his best fur suit, sitting in front of a colorful landscape that only fall can offer? Of course not. Especially when that pup is me.

So I closed my eyes and jumped on the ‘rock’. Much to my amazement my paws did not stop on a hard surface, but rather plunged into the depths of the lake.Water went up my nose and I gasped for air. It seemed an eternity until I resurfaced.

With oxygen back in my lungs, I swam back to shore and struggled up the two foot embankment. It’s a good thing I had my wits about me because my parents were too busy laughing to save me.

As revenge my father’s Chuck Taylor’s did not fare very well that night.

Anway, my tale comes to mind after reading the story of a dog with a similar, harrowing experience courtesy of UPI.

SEAFORD, England, Feb. 22 (UPI) — Two dogwalkers said they feared the worst when their springer spaniel leaped from a 300-foot cliff, but the dog bounced off a wave and swam to shore.

Lia Markwick and Stephen Winslade, who were walking Poppy as a favor for Lia’s brother, said the canine was chasing a seagull and made a flying leap from the cliff in Seaford, England, The Sun reported Monday.

Markwick and Winslade said they expected to look down and see Poppy’s body, but instead the dog had managed to avoid hitting the rocks below and landed in the high tide, allowing her to swim to a nearby beach. Markwick said they called Coast Guard authorities, who recovered the canine after it made its way to dry land.

The dog’s owners, Ben Markwick and Kelly Ixter, said Poppy suffered a collapsed lung but is expected to make a full recovery.

Seagulls. Not only can’t you catch them, but they poop on your fur and steal people food.

I guess even God can have an off day.