Lawrence Conyers from the BNI Prince Bishop chapter in the UK joins Dr. Misner today to share some points from the educational videos he created for his BNI group. Lawrence decided to set the example for his chapter to do better one-to-ones. He created a video demonstrating bad and good One-to-Ones, then went on to make one for Power Teams. He takes all these roles in both videos. There’s a third video he made with his whole chapter on How to Pass Referrals. You can see them all in the next post.

1. If you engage with the material for the educational slots, you’ll have a lot more success.
2. Being proactive in your BNI membership makes all the difference to getting referrals.
3. Use your own backgrounds and strengths. Lawrence was a video producer, so he made videos.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 257 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla. Thank you very much. I have Lawrence Conyers with me. Lawrence is a BNI member, and I am really excited to have him on. I think once you hear some of his background, you’ll understand why. Lawrence has always been involved with the creative media industry. He initially worked for large global companies like PWC. He did work in museum and attraction design. He’s done over 100 stage production credits while performing and directing local theater. He joined BNI in early 2009 after being invited by a web designer. So he has been a member now for a few years. He set up a small business in the north of England in some of the toughest economic times.

I met Lawrence as a result of him winning the International Conference chapter videos. Lawrence did what has to be by far the best video I have ever seen. What I love about this video- we’ll have a link to it in this podcast. You have to go watch it so you can just see how when I tlk about keeping the fun in the fundamentals, these guys did it. It was really funny. So that link will be in here. But Lawrence has done two other videos and those links will also be in here. He has done a video on one to ones and how to do a good one to one. And he has done a video on power teams. You can really see his acting background and his sense of humor. Lawrence, it’s a real pleasure to have you on this podcast today.

Lawrence:
It’s been my pleasure. Thank you for letting me join you. It’s been a real honor.

Ivan:
Thanks a lot. Make sure to speak up real loud so everyone can hear you. There are three things that you wanted to talk about for being a member of BNI. I think this is great because you are a member. You are out in the field. The members are mostly the ones who listen to this, of course BNI Directors too, but members are listening to this. From the member’s perspective, you had three points that you wanted to make as to advice you can give members. What are those three points?

Lawrence:
I was looking at spending some time with you in Long Beach having this conversation. A lot of what you said really sunk in. I was thinking about this on the flight home.

Ivan:
Can I just say it was a result of you winning the contest to come to the conference and part of it was a one to one. I was very pleased to be able to do that with you. So you came back home.

Lawrence:
It was so effective, and I was thinking on the way home that we’re just not doing this right. We’re not doing one to ones effectively. We’re not getting the benefit for our membership, and we’re not generating referrals. We’re not receiving referrals. At the time, I was even questioning whether to stay in BNI or not. It just wasn’t worthwhile.

I thought what am I doing wrong? It’s got to be on me. I can’t blame anyone else. Am I talking to the wrong people? Am I doing it the wrong way? And you said something about most of us are sitting on a goldmine and we haven’t even bought a shovel.

That resonated, and I thought, right, let’s do this properly. I had better set the example here and our one to ones six months ago were little more than conversation about our businesses. The whole point of BNI is to generate and receive referrals. That’s what it’s all about. Get more business. We just weren’t doing that. I thought the two main areas where we were lacking were at the chapter and me, myself as a member, not doing one to ones properly and not building a power team.

Ivan:
So what did you do? Now, you did these videos. Again, if you are listening to this podcast, you have to come to the website if you downloaded this. You have to go back to the website and find these URLs because I am telling you they are some of the best videos about one to ones and power teams. They are funny as can be. Very entertaining. Tell us in a nutshell, what were some of the key points in the one to one video that you wanted to get across.

Lawrence:
The main thing was if you want them to learn to do something, you ask them to teach somebody else. So I volunteered to do the answer on how to do a one to one properly. I thought I might as well do it on video, seeing that is what I do. I create videos. So I created a video on how to do a one to one. I couldn’t afford an actor. I had no budget, so I thought I’ll do it myself. So it went from there and developed into a character and into a short film. It was so well received and got the message across so well and it got seen by so many people. I thought, alright, I am going to do exactly the same for the power teams video and take it to the next level.

Ivan:
Before you go to power teams, which I want to go to next. For one to ones, basically, for the listeners, you’re doing a one to one with yourself. It is brilliant, absolutely brilliant because it’s seamless. It looks like there are two of you sitting in the room having the conversation and doing the one to one. Very, very well done. It’s a good example of some of the things that you want to do in a good one to one.I think you were going to jump into the power team now.

Lawrence:
It’s the same principle. Once I realized that this was funny, and above all, memorable- the whole point of this was to get people to remember it and act on it. And get it played everywhere, because members can really benefit from doing the one to ones this way. Once I realized how effective that was, I thought I am not even going to bother trying to get an actor in to do this one. I am just going to do it myself the same way.

Ivan:
And you did. There was a third character in both videos, I think. What was that character’s name?

Lawrence:
Somebody came up with the concept of Cup of Tea, a bit of a convoluted acronym. Completely useless pointless odious forgetful time-wasting exercise about nothing, which is what most of our one to ones actually were. I thought I’ve got to bring in this cup of tea and I have to use it somehow. So Ms. Jones was invented.

Ivan:
And who is Ms. Jones in the video?

Lawrence:
Ms. Jones is me.

Ivan:
I’m telling you- I had so much fun watching this. These videos are really short, just a few minutes long each, right?

Lawrence:
Just a couple of minutes each. They work perfectly as an intro.

Ivan:
Yeah. So here’s the thing. I want members to hear this podcast and to realize that what Lawrence did was he took a few suggestions and just ran with it. If you can take what we are trying to teach in BNI and do half of what Lawrence has done with the recommendations and suggestions that we have given him and what’s there in the chapter, and just run with it- engage. Fully immerse and engage in this material. You are going to have a lot more success.

Lawrence, do you see your chapter moving in the right direction in terms of being more successful now?

Lawrence:
Not just the chapter but myself. Just a couple months ago, I was at a point where I was questioning whether to stay in BNI. That was kind of surprising. Now, you would have to drag me kicking and screaming from it. You really would. Now, I am being proactive in my membership rather than passive. That makes a huge difference. That is a joy when you find somebody a top referral. That’s incredible.

Ivan:
Yeah. You talk about being proactive. People are going to watch these videos and go, I can’t do that. I think how I would take that is you have to be proactive as it applies to your own business and the things that you’re good at. This is Lawrence’s field so it’s real natural for him to be able to do the videos. That is the way that he became proactive. So the real question is how can you as a member listening to this podcast- how can you become proactive and implement some of the things that we do in BNI including these videos?

Lawrence, do you have any closing remarks or thoughts about engaging as a member in BNI?

Lawrence:
If I can make it work, anybody can make it work. That is just about it. I was a second rate member in a second rate chapter, and if I can turn it around, then boy, anybody can.

Ivan:
Well, based on what I’ve seen, not only in the work you do but from having the opportunity to spend an hour or more with you are the conference, you are anything but second rate. You’re first rate in my book- not only your skill as a video production company, but you as an individual and certainly as a member. I really appreciate what you have done, Lawrence. Could you share with everybody your website, so they know where they can get more information about you? Not just these videos that we are talking about but you.

Lawrence:
My company website is www.ansoncorporatemedia.co.uk.

Ivan:
Do you want to repeat that one more time for me?

Lawrence:
ansoncorporatemedia.co.uk

Ivan:
Great. Lawerence, thank you so much. And I know I have said it several times but you have got to go watch these videos, particularly the one to one and the power teams. You will not only be entertained but you will learn some things on how to do a good video. Share it. Share it, share it, share it with your fellow members. Lawrence, thank you so much. Priscilla, back to you.

Priscilla:
Perfect. Okay, well thank you. I can hardly wait to go see the videos. I am going to definitely share them with my chapter. Thank you, Lawrence.

Lawrence:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
I think that’s it for this week. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Watch the Cup of Tea videos here.

This is a rebroadcast of Episode 99, published in April 2009.

Melinda Potcher adapted Dr. Misner’s Ten Commandments of Networking (discussed in Episode 32 and Episode 33 of this podcast) into the Ten Commandments of Business Networking.

1. Thou Shalt Not Sell to Me.
2. Thou Shalt Understand the Law of Reciprocity.
3. Thou Shalt Not Abuse Our Relationship.
4. Thou Shalt Not Be Late.
5. Thou Shalt Be Specific.
6. Thou Shalt Take Your Business Seriously.
7. Thou Shalt Follow Up on Referrals.
8. Thou Shalt Communicate.
9. Thou Shalt Protect My Reputation.
10. Thou Shalt Prepare for Success.

What do you think of this list? Would you change or add anything?

Read the post on Dr. Misner’s blog.

Transcript is in the show notes for Episode 99.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

The full title for today’s podcast is “Getting to the referral stage with a new contact.” If you remember Episode 253, there’s no way to rush a business relationship. So how do you get to the referral stage with a new contact?

It depends on how you came into contact with the person in the first place. If you impressed the person at your first encounter, you might move from visibility to credibility more quickly. Primarily, however, you need to create touch points.

• Make an appointment for a one-to-one meeting.
• Invite the person to another networking event.
• Find a way to help the person—which doesn’t mean selling them your product or service.

And remember, networking isn’t about making sales, it’s about making contacts.

Let us know what you’ve done to move through the VCP process to get referrals by posting your story in the comments.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 255 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla. The full topic, the full title for our podcast today is Getting to the Referral Stage with a New Contact. That’s a little long for a title, but that is really the theme. Getting to the referral stage with a new contact. The first thing that I suggest for anyone new to this podcast is go back a few weeks and listen to the podcast that I did with Emory Cowan. Emory and I did a great podcast on peach wine and networking. It’s a great story about how he turned his wine into vinegar by wanting to push the process too quickly.

So I want to preface my comments with you can’t push it too quickly. To get to the referral stage with a new contact, you have to take your time. With that said, people often ask what do you do when you meet somebody and how do you move it to the referral stage with a new person that you might meet?So I always say that the best way to get to the referral passing stage really depends in part on how you came into contact with the person in the first place. That’s really important.

Let’s say you met while giving a brief presentation to a group of people who are in your target market. Assuming that you did a good job, you have a possibility of receiving referrals from some of these people even though you just met. Well, it can happen even though you just met because the presentation moved you from visibility a little closer to the credibility phase in your new contact’s mind. Hearing you talk and hearing your expertise helps to move you through that visibility a little bit quicker. Now they are willing to talk to you further and possibly recommend you because you are at the credibility phase.

The same thing is true when you are out networking. If you have a good conversation with someone and you truly add value to the conversation, you can move through the visibility phase quicker. Most of the BNI members have heard me talk about visibility, credibility, profitability. There is a chronological process. You move from visibility to credibility and from credibility to profitability. That process takes time, but you can expedite it in some ways.

It’s not terribly important whether the person is someone you might do business with directly. That’s really important. A lot of times, people are hunting for someone they can close a sale with. Networking is not about closing sales. It’s about making contacts that can give you referral relationships with people who can refer you. So even if your businesses don’t match up, the other person might have information that is useful or might know other people that you might like to get in contact with.

It’s often worthwhile to develop a networking relationship with people who have a little in common because they can bring an entirely new networking into your contact sphere, into your relationships, into your personal network. Just bear in mind that even if there is a strong possibility that you are going to do business with this new contact, it’s probably not going to happen there at that networking event.

It’s what I call the networking disconnect. We have talked about it in previous podcasts, where people at networking events are trying to sell but nobody is there to buy. So you can’t go to these events thinking that you are going to meet somebody who is going to give you a referral or that you are going to get business. Conversations in those kinds of environments last maybe a few minutes long. Instant business is not likely to be had. But if you follow up – and this is really the key- with people a few days later and can set up a one to one with them to get to know them better, it is that meeting where you will have your best opportunity to start to build a relationship.

Remember, networking is more about farming than it is about hunting. It is about cultivating relationships with other people. So if you can find ways to help them, support them, give them suggestions or advice, it moves the relationship process along.

So here is where I would like to open it up if you have any questions, Priscilla, but for the listeners, I would love to hear any suggestions that you have, any experiences that you’ve had. Specific experiences where you have been able to move through the VCP process a little quicker, where you have been able to expedite the VCP process and move to the referral stage with a contact- a tactic, an idea, something that you have done that has been effective to move through the VCP process a little quicker.

If you have an idea or have seen or done something, post a message here on BNIpodcast.com and let us know what you have done to help move that referral stage to get to that referral stage a little quicker with a contact.

Priscilla:
I was just thinking, Ivan, when you were talking that one of the reasons I think cold calls don’t work is because you have absolutely no relationship with the person that you are calling and you’re trying to prove to them in 15 seconds or less that they should talk to you. They have no reason to talk to you, really. That’s why I think it’s so unbelievably difficult.

Ivan:
It is difficult. I would say that I believe cold calls work, but it’s a huge numbers game. You know, you might have to call dozens or hundreds of people to even get to a decision maker that you can talk to. And then how many people do you have to talk to who are willing to then meet with you? To me, the idea of cold calls are the perfect example in farming versus hunting. Cold calls are Hunting 101.

When we are taking about relationship marketing, we are talking about farming. But the question is how do you speed up the process a little without turning to vinegar, like Emory’s story, right? There are ways to do that and the ways are to find ways to help other people. I’m not talking about letting me sell you my product. That’s not what I am talking about, but looking for ideas for somebody else, sitting down and doing one-to-ones with them, inviting them to other networking events where you can see each other again- building that relationship takes time and many touch points.

You have to find touch points to connect with that person over and over again. That’s the farming process, whereas cold calling really is a hunting process. I think you are absolutely right. That’s why it’s much harder to make work.

Priscilla:
Then I was just also thinking as you were speaking that I think one of the fastest ways is if somebody that new contact knows and respects can really verify that you’re really good at what you do, some kind of outside verification, that really speeds it up.

Ivan:
It does. It does help, especially if it is somebody that both parties know. If the person you are talking to knows that individual, that goes a long way.

Listen, again, I would love to hear comments from BNI members. What have you done to expedite the VCP process without turning the wine into vinegar, without pushing it too quickly, as Emory suggested in his podcast a few weeks ago? That’s all I have for today, Priscilla. Thank you.

Priscilla:
Okay. Perfect. Thank you. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Morgan Rothwell of D&M Creative Limited in Lancashire joins Dr. Misner to talk about the importance of branding and to introduce the new BNIBranding.com website to members.

Here are some of the advantages of successful branding.

• Branding influences buying decisions.
• Branding creates new customers
• Branding creates loyalty.
• Branding gives you a competitive advantage.
• Branding helps grow your business.

If you want to learn more about branding, Dr. Misner recommends the book Do You Matter?

How can branding build your chapter? BNI is unique among other organizations, but without a consistent visual identity, we didn’t have the visibility and recognizability of a really great brand.

Now individual members and chapters can download BNI logos and other artwork from BNIBranding.com to use on their websites and display publicly to proclaim their BNI membership.

If you want to know why it’s so important to use these official logos, imagine what it would be like if you had 40,000 clients and they all wanted to create their own versions of your logo.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 254 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. This week, I am in Spokane and Portland visiting BNI members in those two areas. It’s going to be great to meet a lot of new members. As you can tell, I have been doing a lot of traveling this year and having the chance to meet a lot of BNI members.

Priscilla:
Who do you have on the podcast with us today?

Ivan:
Today I have a special guest, Morgan Rothwell. Morgan is the co-owner of D & M Creative Ltd. It is a full service marketing and advertising design firm. Typical projects that they do include corporate identities, brochures, websites- that kind of thing. Morgan attends the University of Manchester. He is an assistant BNI director in BNI Lancashire. He is the person responsible for the new branding. He is the person that the organization selected to do the new branded look.

If you have been a member of BNI for a few years, you may have noticed that all of our content visually has changed. He is the man behind all of that. We are real believers in using BNI members whenever possible with everything we do. Morgan was the person we chose to do the new BNI brand.
Morgan, welcome to the podcast and let me start by saying thank you for all the work that you do to create the new brand.

Morgan:
Thank you very much, Ivan. I appreciate it. Thank you for the opportunity to do the work.

Ivan:
It’s been fun working with you. You are going to talk about three things today. Benefits of branding to a business- why branding is important. You are going to talk about how strong branding builds BNI chapters. Then we are going to spend most of our time talking about a new website that is available to members, BNIbranding.com.

With that, Morgan, why don’t you get started and talk briefly about the benefits of branding to any business, whether it is BNI or whatever the individual members do and why that is important.

Morgan:
Thank you very much, Ivan. I think one of the key things that I would like to say first of all about branding is that branding creates emotional responses. What branding can do for a business is actually influence the decisions that people make when they are deciding whether or not to purchase from one supplier or another supplier. One of the other key aspects is that it creates loyalty. So branding can create not just a customer that will just buy once but repeat customers. It can also create customers who refer customers to businesses. Those are some key aspects of branding.

Along with that is that it gives competitive advantage. You can look at some of the figures from around the world. If you take the world’s largest brand, which is Apple at the moment, if you think of the people who use Apple products, quite often they have very emotional attachments to those products. For example, with a mobile phone they will call it an iPhone as opposed to just a mobile phone.

Very often, once companies get a strong brand, you will see that people get very strongly attached to those brands. There are all kinds of influences it can show on the course of an organization. It can create great impression. One of the aspects I think it is important to discuss early on in the podcast is the actually new branding force that we have helped develop with BNI back in 2010. The fact that BNI provides local businesses with a global network- the new BNI branding allows localization right down to the chapter level.

I mentioned right from the start that Apple has a massive brand presence and massive emotional attachment. Branding at a local level for a micro business within a 50-mile radius is just as important for that business as it is for Apple because within that 50 mile radius, it’s important that the people who are potential customers understand the real brand force that is behind that particular business.

So just to underline the key benefits of branding to a business, talking generally to chapter members of their own businesses, I have to say that it can really influence the decisions of your customers, it can create new customers. It can create loyalty and ultimately, it can help grow your business.

Ivan:
Let me just jump in real quick before you go to the next subject. There is a book I recommend BNI members to read. It is called Do You Matter? By Stewart Emory. Stewart is a great friend of mine and of BNI’s. He talks about the great Apple brand. The other thing is that branding begins, I think, with a visual look. That is a large piece of the work that you have done, the visual look. How does that help building chapters, which is your second topic. How do you build strong chapters with the brand and visual look that we have created?

Morgan:
I think one of the things that I can reflect on how we can build chapters goes back to when my business partner and myself started the business around 10 years ago. We were looking for a networking event. At the time, there were so few networking events around. It was a quite a limited choice, and the obvious choice, we felt, was BNI. But now, in our market, I can think of more than10 networking events every single week within a 10 mile radius of our offices.

So to start with, there is a lot of competition now for what people perceive as being networking or what they perceive as being business referral organizations. Now, BNI is absolutely unique within marketplace because of the agenda, because of the focus on business referrals. The branding can really help underpin this because strong branding within the chapters and use in the materials will attract good quality members because they will see that this is a quality organization.

On top of that, the brand philosophy as I mentioned toward the start, talking about the local businesses within the global network, that’s reflected across all the branding. So while it can be localized to the chapter level, people that visit the groups, new members and existing members understand that it’s linked in to a much bigger organization. That gives people confidence and credibility. It gives BNI credibility as it runs in the local market.

Ivan:
Recognizability is also important. We need to jump to the third topic, but I just want to say that recognizability- because before we implemented the design that you helped develop, I could get on the internet and go to 10 different websites and see no consistency in the logo. No consistency. So the public would look at 10 different websites and have no idea it was the same company. Today, we are moving in the direction of having the same visual look all around the world, which any good brand should always have. That is one of the big key points for a successful chapter, to have the same visual look as other BNI chapters so it makes it easy for people to recognize the BNI brand. You agree, I’m sure- yes?

Morgan:
Absolutely 100% agree. That leads into the third topic, which is one of the key points that we wanted to talk about.

Ivan:
We’ve got about three or four minutes. So let’s talk about BNIbranding.com because this is where the rubber meets the road for the local BNI member use BNIbranding.com?

Morgan:
I think one of the first things I’d say about BNIbranding.com is if a member, if one of the leadership team of the chapters is at BNIbranding.com, one of the key things that they will see on that if they click on one of they key sections, which is Official Logos, we’ve got an array of logos in formats that are very useable for social media. We have a section on there that people can download a logo that is specifically made for social media. We have the guidelines on it as well so that it will be implemented properly.

One of the other things that we have member artwork. For a long time, people have been asking for some sort of emblem that they can use on their websites, business cards, vehicles- that show their membership that they are proud of. So on BNIbranding.com, under the Official Logos, you can see quite clearly the “Proud Member” logo and also the guidelines. Again, that will help them promote the BNI name.

There are also a number of resources on there. For example, if chapter members go to the Chapter Resource section, they can access the branding standards and guidelines so every single chapter member and very single director can have on their file on their computer because this is the real guide for how to use BNI branding. It’s available. The chapter actually has a resource and access to resource. For example, if there is a chapter business card, if they would like some material to promote their chapter, it’s good quality. It meets all the guidelines. They can actually access it through this website.

It’s a fantastic opportunity, not only to get material that is approved and we know that it’s good quality material. But it’s a good opportunity for them to download materials that have been tried and tested around the world and that we know will help to grow their chapters. There are some great materials on there to access.

You mentioned about the logo, Ivan, and recognizability and the fact that it needs to be consistent. We know that the logos on this website are absolutely 100% easy to use. Chapters will ensure they are using the right material. It’s a great resource to visit and it’s a great resource to download materials. If chapters are looking to grow and promote themselves within the area, they are really looking to make themselves stand out against the local competition.

Ivan:
Let me just jump in because we are about out of time. I want to put this in perspective for the average member listening to this because oftentimes, they will want to produce a product or printout. They will either slap the letters on without the logo or they will create- this always amazes me- they will create their own version of the logo. I have a two part question for you, Morgan. How would you feel if one of your clients decided to change the D&M Creative Ltd logo? For whatever reason they want. They have a good reason, but they want to do it themselves because they don’t like yours. I think your laugh is a good response, probably.

Morgan:
Yeah. I would not be happy about it to be honest.

Ivan:
Of course not. So what I am asking members to do is think about it. Fill in the blank with your company name. Whatever company you run- imagine you had 140,000 clients and that they all wanted to do a different variation of your logo and your brand. That would make it very difficult to run the business. That is the challenge we have if we don’t use the BNI brand consistently. By the way, there are other issues like being able to maintain the trademark. You can’t maintain a trademark unless you have consistent application of the trademark.So there are legal issues, but from a branding perspective, it’s so important to have consistent use.

What Morgan and his team have done with the help of BNI HQ here and our communications people, is put together this great website, BNIbranding.com. It has everything you need to know about using the BNI brand in the proper way which will help you to grow your local chapter.

We really appreciate the work that you have done, Morgan. Any last comment before I wrap up?

Morgan:
The last thing I would like to say, Ivan, and underpin is please visit the website. Use the website. Use it as a tool to help grow your chapter because ultimately, that will help grow everybody’s business within your chapter.

Ivan:
That is definitely our goal. BNIbranding.com. Morgan Rothwell, thank you so much for everything you have done for the organization. What is your website, Morgan?

Morgan:
Our website is www.dandmcreative.com

Ivan:
Again, Morgan, thank you so much for helping us out with this. Priscilla, back to you.

Priscilla:
Okay. Perfect.Thank you so much, both of you. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Emory Cowan of BNI Colorado joins Dr. Misner for today’s podcast. He tells a story about the time he tried to make peach wine from some leftover Georgia peaches, following a recipe from his parents’ farm. After a few weeks he got impatient and tried to help the process along by putting everything in a blender. Just three days later he had…peach vinegar.

Relationships are like wine. They can’t be rushed. People want things immediately in this society, but if we try to force relationships, they turn sour. It takes 7 years for a good Burgundy or Cabernet to mature; a good business relationship doesn’t develop instantaneously.

This story is in the book Masters of Networking under “Drink No Wine Before Its Time.”

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 253 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. This week I am in Indianapolis meeting BNI members. It’s an area I like to go to, and I look forward to meeting a lot of members here at the event. I know our guest here is leaving for London today and will be at the UK National Conference this week as well. So we really like to get out to as many members as possible to visit people all around the world.

Priscilla:
That’s great. So what does peach wine have to do with networking?

Ivan:
Peach wine and networking. What in the world do they have in common? My guest here today is going to tell us that. Emory Cowen is a psychotherapist, educators, NY Times best selling author. HE is an entrepreneur. He is an army combat veteran. He has lived in several countries, traveled extensively throughout the world. He is a marriage and family counselor and was the president and CEO of a graduate school of psychology for ten years. Emory is the Executive Director and co-owner of BNI Colorado and SE Wyoming. He has served on the BNI International Founders Circle and currently serves on the International Franchise Advisory Board. I consider him not only a great director in the organization but a close personal friend. He is going to talk to us about peach wine and networking. One of my favorite stories about relationship building.

Emory, it is a pleasure to have you on the podcast. Tell us what peach wine and networking have in common.

Emory:
Thanks, Ivan. It’s an honor for me to share this story, and I appreciate you asking me. This is a true story. Something that happened to me a few years ago. I was living in Atlanta GA and I went to the famous Atlanta market. I bought about a peck of peaches, which is about a fourth of a bushel, I think. Those Fork Valley southern Georgia peaches that have such a wonderful aroma. I had visions of peach pie and peach cobbler and ate a couple of them and the rest sat out on the kitchen counter for a few days.

One morning I woke up to the aroma of peaches and I thought I’ll make some peach wine. I had never done that before but I had an old family recipe. My parents lived on a farm about 15 miles away, and I went out to the farm and got an old ceramic pot. On the way back, I got some cheesecloth and sugar and yeast. I went home, cut up the peaches, put them in the crock, and put all of the ingredients in. I took that crock down to my basement while it was cool.

Every afternoon I would come home thinking about peach wine. I would go to the basement, smell it, and see what was happening. That went on for quite a while but I started feeling impatient. I could taste that wine. I wanted that wine. I wanted it now. Those afternoons were kind of torturous. One afternoon I decided that I was going to help the process along. I carried the crock up to the kitchen, put everything in a blender, blended it up, emulsified it some more. I put in some more sugar and yeast in the process. I put the cheesecloth back on and took it back to the basement. In just three short days, I had vinegar.

Ivan:
The best peach vinegar in Atlanta, wasn’t it?

Emory:
But there aren’t many uses for strawberry vinegar. It was pretty sour. It was ruined.

Ivan:
Listen, before you jump into your points here, I just want to say I think this is one of the best stories that I have ever heard and a perfect metaphor for what you can do to a relationship. This is really about networking and if you push a relationship too fast,you can have a great wine turn into vinegar. I just think it’s a great parable for this whole podcast.

Emory:
You are exactly right. It has become something of a parable for me, a phenomenal logical experience. There were three points that I learned from this experience as I have reflected on it over the years. We live in a quick fix, instant communication, immediate gratification society. When you think about it, there are some real benefits to that.

I grew up in a time when there were no fast food restaurants. Imagine not being able to go to an In and Out when you wanted to or to a McDonalds or Starbucks and get a cup of coffee when you want it. I grew up in time when the news was slow getting to us. I don’t want to have to wait for news to arrive by horseback, but as recently as WWII, people got their evening news by watching news on reels that had been flown back from the news front.

Today we are almost overloaded with info from the most remote part of the earth. Immediately available to us. When you think about lifesaving medical care, it’s just a few minutes away for most of us, not days or weeks away. It’s one of the benefits, but the challenge is that we have been taught and perhaps conditioned to get what we want now. Not next week, not next month, not next year, not when we can afford it, but right now. You know part of the financial problems that many people are in in our country are in is because of credit that has been readily available and we can just borrow or charge and buy what we want when we want it.

Ivan:
Emory, how does that tie into- I couldn’t agree with you more and I think you are absolutely correct. I think the current financial crisis that the world has gone through, how do relationships fit into this, which is your second point?

Emory:
It’s the same mindset. Our desire for instant gratification extends to relationships. We think we can create them at will. Relationships, however, are somewhat magical and mystical. They can’t be rushed. I know you are a connoisseur of fine wines. Making wine takes time. Relationships need to ferment, to come together to mature and develop.

Yet, what we see today is the same principle applied to relationships with speed dating events, or even networking events. I am always amazed- this has happened to me so many times that I quit counting- people leaving their BNI chapter after one or two months because they haven’t gotten enough referrals or made enough money.

The truth is that relationships are like making wine. There is a chemical process that takes place or doesn’t take place. Relationships that last take time to ferment, develop and age. Relationships are far more about chemistry than we realize.

Ivan:
Explain that. You have a PhD in psychology, led the school of psychology for ten years in Colorado. Explain that.

Emory:
There are some interesting studies now. The Goldman study on emotional intelligence- this whole idea of immediate gratification, a lot of Stanford studies with kids looking at the way kids need immediate gratification now, and the inability to put off long term goals, wanting things immediately. It’s just a part of what we have been conditioned to in a fast paced society, to try to create something that is immediate and we delude ourselves into thinking it’s real.

For example, one point I have is every time I have been tempted to rush this process and try to create instant relationships, it hasn’t turned to rich wine. It’s turned pretty much into sour vinegar. This is a lesson that I am still learning and I have to keep in my consciousness and recently in business I ascribed more to a relationship and trusted a person too soon just because I wanted it to be a good relationship. I disregarded my own sage advice if you will and forced the process and got a very bad business outcome and relationship.

As I said, this is a lesson. It’s a parable for us. It’s not something we have definitely overcome immediately because of the society in which we live. We need to keep conscious this idea that you can’t force relationships. You have to nurture and provide all the ingredients and let time work this process.

Ivan:
We’re about out of time, Emory. Any closing thoughts before I wrap up?

Emory:
A closing thought- and this whole story is in Masters of Networking. We published that when? In 2000, right?

Ivan:
Yeah. 2000. So for anyone who would like to get the actual story, it’s in the book Masters of Networking.

Emory:
The whole story is simply drink no wine before its time. Things have to mature, age and develop in process when they are related to other people and relationships.

Ivan:
I think it’s a great metaphor. If you want a great cabernet or burgandy, you are looking at 7 years- it varies from wine to wine, but it takes time for it to mature to its peak. I think relationships are very much like that. It still applies within BNI, where people expect these quick responses and have these get rich quick scheme ideas and just give it a couple months and expect a lot of business. It’s all about the relationship. Relationships take time.

This is such a great story. Listeners, you can find it in Masters of Networking. It is the article that is written by Emory Cowan in the book. We hope you enjoy it. Emory, thank you so much for being on the podcast today. I really appreciate it. I love the story and love how it fits with networking and BNI being more about farming than hunting. Thank you for being on.

Emory:
Thank you, Ivan.

Ivan:
Priscilla, back to you.

Priscilla:
Okay. That’s great. What a wonderful story. Thank you so much for sharing that. I think that is it for this week. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This is a rebroadcast of Episode 65, originally recorded in 2008.

This week Dr. Misner describes a unique experience: a meeting about storytelling. Academy Award-winning movie producer Peter Guber invited about 16 people, including Dr. Misner and individuals such as Warren Bennis, one of the world’s foremost experts on leadership; Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone; and Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series, as well as many other “storytellers” from various businesses, backgrounds and areas of expertise.

One lesson particularly appropriate to BNI is that “What if?” is more powerful in a story than “How to.” Make your messages personal and concrete. Think about this next time you give a presentation at a BNI meeting.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Read the complete transcript on the post for Episode 65.

Every contact you have with someone is a chance to either construct or de-construct a relationship. Be sparing about the way you criticize people, especially if you don’t know them well. Before you either press the “Send” button or open your mouth to criticize, ask yourself

1. Is your criticism unsolicited? Unsolicited advice, especially from people you don’t know, is rarely appreciated.
2. Do you know the person to whom you’re sending the criticism? If not, why are you really sending it?
3. Is it your intention to give constructive suggestions, or just to vent? If it’s to vent, tell a friend who loves you instead.
4. Does this communication help construct a relationship? Remember what your mother said: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”

How have you handled unsolicited criticism?

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 251 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you today?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla. I am in Kansas City visiting BNI members. It is my first time being here in many, many years. I am looking forward to meeting all of the members here. I have a fun topic here, and before we jump into the topic, I wanted to mention that this last week was our 250th episode. It is true, and Priscilla, it is a real pleasure working with you. I have enjoyed doing these podcasts with you over the years. You do a great job.

Priscilla:
Thank you, Ivan. That is so sweet.

Ivan:
There is a lot of content. This is 251 episodes. That is a lot of content open to members. I love it when I visit regions like here in Kansas City, where people come up to me and say, “I listened to your podcast on [topic] and it was really helpful.” I am really happy to continue to do these.

Today is an interesting topic. It is a little bit of a rant. Are you ready for a rant?

Priscilla:
Okay, Ivan, I’m ready.

Ivan:
Unsolicited advice is rarely appreciated. I recently received an unsolicited email from a man named Chris. I am not going to go into the details of it. I didn’t know who this man was. He slammed me on a video that I did. I wrote him back and said thanks for his comments I appreciated it. What I felt like saying was, “Hi. I’m Ivan. I’m sorry, who are you? Do we know each other?”

I had never met him. Never talked to him. Why he would feel compelled to send a critical email, I just cannot fathom never having met somebody and doing that. But I am thankful to Chris, and I will tell you why I am thankful. It gives me the opportunity to talk about relationships and networking.

Every time you communicate with someone, especially the first time, there is a chance to either construct or deconstruct a relationship. This was the first time that I had ever heard from this gentleman, and I would have to say that the first time wasn’t very constructive. I am not sure what possesses people sometimes- particularly, to send unsolicited criticism to people they don’t know. It seems to be happening more and more in this digital world. I can’t imagine that Chris would have the hutzpah to say something like this if he were face to face with someone. But in the digital world, it’s right with cyber-critics. They can say pretty much whatever they want and feel removed from the situation because of the internet.

I think one of the reasons that they do that is they are possibly outside my striking zone. They say things like that and can get away with it because they are not standing in front of someone. Even if you are standing in front of someone, it’s really important to think about what you say to someone- especially if you don’t know them well.

I really think if you want to succeed in life, you want to focus on making your business better rather than criticizing other businesses. You have to be sparing in the way that you criticize others. That is the same in the context of BNI because every week we are meeting with our fellow BNI members. Every week, we can either help to construct a better relationship or deconstruct the relationship.

Sometimes, even in a face to face environment, even though it is easier digitally, people will say things that are really unsolicited and rarely appreciated. What I wanted to do, and I wrote about this is a blog recently, is talk about the four things I recommend before you either press the send button or make the statement that you are about to make to somebody regarding criticism that was not solicited.

Now, if somebody asks what you think of their new brochure, that is different than you walking up to them and that their brochure sucks. That is different. If somebody asks, I get it.

Number one, is your criticism unsolicited? Unsolicited advice, especially from people you don’t know is rarely appreciated by anybody.

Two, do you know the person to whom you are sending the criticism? If not, why are you really sending it? If you are talking to someone and you are going to criticize them, why are you telling them that- other than to get it off your chest and put it onto their shoulders?

Three, whether you know them or not, is it your intention to give constructive suggestion, otherwise known as meaningful, specific positive ideas, or do you just want to vent about something that you don’t like? If it is to vent, here is my suggestion: tell a friend who loves you. The person that you are going to vent on, leave them alone. Tell someone who loves and cares about you because this person doesn’t know you and is not going to receive your unsolicited advice well.

If you do send a communication or give communication, make sure that it helps to construct a relationship not deconstruct it. If it is the latter, remember mom’s advice. Pricsilla, mom was always right, right?

Priscilla:
Not my mom but maybe some moms.

Ivan:
My mom was almost always right. One of the things she told me was if you don’t have anything good to say, say nothing at all. I think that is really good advice, especially if you want to build a relationship. If you want to construct a relationship, you have to do that. If you want to tear down a relationship, criticize away. Just remember that nobody has ever built a statue to a critic.

It’s easy to tell other people what they are doing wrong. It’s hard to do the right thing yourself. I would love to hear in this podcast today, those of you who are listening to this podcast, how you have responded when you have received unsolicited criticism, what you think about it and how you think you should handle it, particularly. You can do it in any context, but particularly in the BNI context. If somebody in your BNI group gives you unsolicited criticism, how would you handle it? I would love to see great suggestions from members all over the world on how to hand this particular issue.

The more digital we become, the easier it is to lose touch with those relationships that we have. So learning how to work with each other and build those relationships is more important than ever. I would love to hear comments on this one.

Priscilla:
Okay, I just have one question for you. If you get some negative advice that is unsolicited, how do you shake it off? I don’t know about you, but I bet you don’t take it in too deeply. But sometimes people, especially like myself- it gets inside of you and you start thinking about it all the time. It definitely affects your move, whatever it is that you were thinking about doing next. You hear that critic in your head. So what do you do with that?

Ivan:
That’s a great question. Here is the advice that I have when people talk about me. The people who think you walk on water and the people who think you are the Antichrist are both wrong. The reality is somewhere in between. There are going to be people who don’t believe your breath- and you have heard that before. It’s so true because especially people who don’t know you don’t know what the truth is so they are taking a shot. You do have to have a little bit of a thick skin when people do something like that.

The way I like to deal with it is I’ll blog about it. Or I will do a podcast about it. I try to take that and turn it into a learning lesson. Not everybody writes, but that’s my deal. If something happens and I think I could turn that into a lesson for business people, that’s what I do.

For people who are not writing about it, I think it is good to have a good friend to talk to and then let it go. You know, just let it go. You can’t believe the people who criticize and you can’t believe the people who think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread. The truth lies somewhere in between. You know who you are. Go with that and don’t let the criticism get you down.

Priscilla:
Okay, good advice. Thanks, Ivan.

Ivan:
Thank you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Is that it?

Ivan:
That’s it for today. I’ll give some more thought to- you know, that’s a great question. For those listening, what do you do when you get this kind of feedback? For me, I write a podcast or blog and talk about it. What do you do? How do you let it go because you can’t just take it all in and end up seething. There is probably not enough Zanex in the world to take care of the anxiety from people unloading on you. So what do you do, listeners? I would love to hear about that. That’s a great question. Thanks, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Thank you, Dr. Misner. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

A member recently asked Dr. Misner why you can’t belong to two BNI chapters or two groups like BNI.

This is a more important issue than people realize at first.

In 1985 and 1986 BNI allowed members to belong to two groups. It was a DISASTER. The Board of Advisors received floods of complaints from members. The divided loyalties of members who belonged to more than one group created serious trust issues in both chapters.

A few years later, a member asked why BNI members were allowed to belong to organizations that competed with BNI (other referral networks) if they weren’t allowed to belong to two BNI groups, since that created the same problem of split loyalties.

The only person who benefits from being in two groups is that individual member. The other members of the groups benefit more from having all their members fully committed to them.

If you’re not sure that belonging to competing groups is a bad idea, the next time you’re at your BNI meeting, look to your left. Look to your right. Imagine those people are in another BNI chapter with your profession represented in it. Who is going to get the referrals?

Leave a comment and tell us how you would feel in this situation.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 250 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you today?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla, and I have an interesting topic.

Priscilla:
Okay. Tell us about it.

Ivan:
When is two not better than one? Two of everything is always better, right?

Priscilla:
More is better, right?

Ivan:
Well, not on this topic. I was recently asked a question by a BNI member as to why we can’t belong to BNI chapters or why we can’t belong to two groups like BNI. Here is sort of an edited version of my response. I hope this is of value to BNI members as to why this policy exists. There is really a long history relating to this issue, and it’s important to frame the reason why this is such an important issue. The reason for framing it is that people don’t really care about the how until they understand why. Once they understand why it makes more sense as to how to do something.

Here is why you can’t be in two BNI groups or two groups like BNI: In 1985 and 1986, we actually allowed members of BNI to belong to two BNI chapters. Did you know that?

Priscilla:
No, I had no idea.

Ivan:
You could. You could belong to two groups. It was a disaster. It was a huge disaster. There were so many complains that when I created the board of advisers in 1986- remember this is created of BNI members- one of the first things they did was vote on this policy that I had created that you could belong to two BNI chapters. They thought it created animosity among members because a BNI member was splitting his or her loyalty between the two BNI groups. Back then, there were more complaints among members on this one issue than any other issue in the organization, including attendance.

Priscilla:
That makes sense.

Ivan:
In retrospect, everything is 20/20. When I look at this, I think that was a really dumb idea that I had. There were some stipulations. They couldn’t be side by side. They had to be a significant distance from each other, but it was really all irrelevant. It all came down to split loyalties. The answer seemed really obvious to the board of advisers. Allowing someone to belong to two BNI chapters split their loyalties and created serious trust issues in the affected group. So one of the very first policies that the board created was that you can’t belong to two BNI groups.

Now fast forward a few years. In the early 1990′s the board of advisers met to address a complaint from a BNI member on a somewhat related issue. Here is a quote of what he said to me, “If BNI doesn’t allow someone to be a member of two BNI groups, why in the world would BNI allow a member to belong to one BNI group and another group just like BNI but that competes with BNI? What’s the difference and why would we allow it? Isn’t it the same thing as allowing somebody to be in two BNI groups?

I thought, wow, that is an interesting comment. So I presented that to the board of advisers. They heard the argument and discussed it for a very long time. In the end, they completely agreed. That night, in my home in the early ’90s- that was the first office for BNI and we ran BNI out of my house. Now BNI is in a 33,000 sq ft building, but back then, BNI was run out of a couple spare bedrooms of my house.

The board of advisers decided that we should create a policy that a BNI member could not belong to two BNI groups and couldn’t belong to two strong contact groups like BNI for the same reason that you can’t belong to two BNI groups. They felt it would split the loyalties to belong to two groups like BNI. They felt that if we don’t allow members to be in two BNI groups, it makes even less sense to allow them to be in other groups just like BNI. This was a decision made by the board of advisers, members of BNI, back in the early ’90s.

One of the main arguments that was made by the board of advisers on this issue was that the person who benefits most from this arrangement of being in two groups is only the person who is in two groups. The other people in those groups would benefit most by having someone who is dedicated to them and not splitting their commitment. Does that makes sense?

It was a really tough discussion. Again, these were members who made this decision. They really felt is was best for the entire group because they really felt if we let people belong to multiple BNI chapters or groups like BNI, it weakens the loyalty in good groups made up of committed members and it will take a potentially strong chapter and make it mediocre.

Here is my guiding principle on that concept of making something mediocre. Why let someone talk you into mediocrity when excellence is an option? Don’t let a few people determine the success of the whole chapter. Stand tall as a group and make the decision to have a better group. Don’t let people talk you into being in two groups of BNI or two groups like BNI.

It was policy number 16 that exists today that addresses this issue now. It says that membership committees have authority in this area. Here is something really interesting, Priscilla, somebody recently asked me, “Okay, so membership committees have authority. Can they ignore it?” The short answer is the definitive answer. No. They can’t ignore it.

The police have full authority when someone robs a bank. Does this mean it is okay for them to ignore it? No, it means they are charged with enforcing the law.

So policy number 16 as written currently by the board of advisers means that the membership committee is charged with doing the right thing and enforcing the rule within the group, not ignoring the rule. Remember, you can never go wrong by doing the right thing. The right thing in a strong contact networking group like BNI is expecting support by the people that are in the room. It is obvious that being in two BNI groups is a bad idea. We have history that bears that out. It is no different from being in two groups like BNI. If you expect excellence, commitment, and accountability you can achieve success. If you allow yourself to be talked into mediocrity, you then strive to be average.

The way this often happens is that people try to talk other members of the group into thinking it’s okay. It’s no big deal. They are in this other group and it’s fine. But that has a big impact on the group. It’s not easy to stand up for what is in the best interest of a trusting group of referral partners. But that is what chapters need to do in order to achieve success. Share with members why this type of loyalty within a BNI group is so important. I would urge people in chapters who are listening to this podcast to share it with other members.

If you are listening to it and are not sure that this is a good idea and think that it’s a bad idea and you should be in other groups just like BNI, the next time that you are in your BNI meeting, look to your left and look to your right. Imagine that those people in your BNI meeting are in another BNI chapter and those groups, other BNI chapters, have your profession represented in them. How do you feel about this idea now? That changes everything, doesn’t it? When you look to your left and you look to your right and you think this guy is going to a meeting tomorrow with a bunch of BNI people and are making the same promises and commitment that they are making here today, guess what. No they are not. They are going to split the amount of referrals, which by the way, was the issue.

Two things were happening. They would either split the referrals and give half to one and half to the other, which isn’t bad- or they would do something worse. They would give both to both. Can you imagine getting a referral from somebody and they are also giving that referral to somebody else in another BNI group? That is the reason why years ago, the board of advisers said that you can’t be in two BNI groups. And a few years later, they said it’s really no different when you’re in another group just like BNI.

It’s a tough policy. In previous podcasts, we have talked about accountability. This is one example of it. Is it easy? No. Is it the right thing to do for the good of the whole group? Yes. It might not be the right thing for an individual person who would like to be in 3,4,5, or 6 groups because that would be a lot of business- and they would give everyone else some business and spread it around, but at a very small percentage.

So the only person it would benefit is the person who is in multiple groups. The whole does not benefit. That is when two is not better than one.

Priscilla:
Okay, now I am going to interrupt and ask a question. I know how some people get around this. They have a partner in their business and the partner is in another group. What do you think about that?

Ivan:
That’s interesting. I’m not sure I would call that getting around it. That came up a lot in the initial discussion. I am married and have a wife. I’ve been married 23 years. She has a whole different set of contacts than I have. Now we are talking about partners who are generally not spouses, but sometimes are. Those partners have a whole different set of contacts. So the discussion was about two different people with two separate sets of contacts. Do some of those contacts overlap Yes. But do all of those contacts overlap? Absolutely not. You can make that argument not just with a partner but with a spouse.

All I have to do is walk in the neighborhood. If I am walking in the neighborhood with Elizabeth, everyone is like, “Hi Elizabeth!” and “It’s good to see you, Elizabeth.” I’m like, you know those people? Oh yeah, they are the neighbor or they live a few blocks down. So she has contacts that I don’t have. I have contacts that she doesn’t have.

Priscilla:
So you think that’s okay.

Ivan:
Yeah, the board thought that was okay because you have two individuals with two sets of contacts. But one person has the same contacts and having them go to two different groups is going to substantially reduce the amount of referrals. Plus, a partner may have a referral that they would give without ever talking to the other partner. So yes, a partner is acceptable but the same person is not.

Priscilla:
Okay. That makes sense.

Ivan:
It was a good question.

Priscilla:
Well good. I think that makes sense. Is there anything else that you want to share with us?

Ivan:
No, I think that is it for today. I know this is a controversial topic. I would ask the BNI members- I always love to get constructive comments on the podcast. We get mostly constructive comments on the podcast. I would love to have people who think about having someone sitting next to you on your left and right and knowing that they belong to another BNI group. How would that make you feel? IT makes sense then that you can’t be in two BNI groups. We learned that years ago. And there’s no difference in being in BNI and a group like BNI.

It’s the hard thing to do but it’s the right thing to do. Don’t let someone talk you into mediocrity when excellence is an option. That is all I have for today, Priscilla. Thank you very much.

Priscilla:
You’re welcome. Thank you. That’s it for this week. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Tim Paulin from BNI Louisiana Mississipi joins Dr. Misner this week to discuss the four pillars of a successful BNI group:

1. Many (4-7) visitors or guests at each meeting. Not all of them have to qualify to join: bring people who can do business with members.
2. A well-run professional meeting. Pay special attention to the hidden elements. (See Episode 9 and Episode 16 for more about these.)
3. Follow-up post meeting. The leadership team needs to follow up with visitors and guests, and members need to follow up about the business they’ve passed.
4. Accountability for the chapter members. One of the most important parts of accountability is attendance, and it’s up to the membership committee to maintain this.

If you can do these four things well, you’ll have a successful chapter.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 249 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi, Priscilla. I’m doing great. I got to do a webcam with your chapter recently. I really appreciate the opportunity to do that.

Priscilla:
That was really fun. They loved it. So thank you.

Ivan:
I do that with a lot of- usually regional- events, but Priscilla- She’s my lady. I have to do that for her chapter itself. I do it for a lot of regional and sometimes chapter visitors days. Talk to your local director if you would like me to do some kind of webcam like I did with Priscilla’s chapter.

Priscilla:
Oh yeah. I highly recommend it. So who is with us today, Ivan?

Ivan:
A good friend of mine. Just to answer the second part of your question, I am in San Diego this week. As the listeners know, I like to let members know that I am out visiting regions and trying to meet as many members as possible. If I come to your area, please come visit and say hello because I love to meet BNI members. I have with me today Tim Paulin. Tim is the Executive Director for BNI in LA and MS. He and his team manage over 50 BNI groups. He is the US National Training Director and has been doing that for about 7 years. Tim went to the University of New Orleans focusing on business administration. He is a native of New Orleans. He currently resides there with his lovely wife Elizabeth, whom I know. My wife is Elizabeth as well, so don’t confuse the two. But he and his wife have twin boys, God bless you. Tim is a great trainer and a good friend. His topic today is the four pillars of the successful BNI group. Welcome to the podcast, Tim.

Tim:
Thank you. Ivan I appreciate it. You know, Ivan, when we first announced that we were having twins, you looked at me and said, “Sleep now because you won’t once they are born.”Man, you were right. I haven’t slept in 8 years.

Ivan:
I know, it’s really bad. Then when they become teenagers, believe it or not, it’s even worse.

Tim:
I’ll have to wait for that. We are going to talk today about the four pillars of the successful BNI group.

Ivan:
Let me just throw the four out there and then you jump in and hit them one at a time. First one is many visitors each week. Second one is a well-run professional meeting. The third one is a follow up, a post meeting. The last is accountability for the chapter members. Those are the four pillars that Tim has put together. I love them. Jump in on the first one, Tim.

Tim:
Many guests, many visitors at a chapter meeting each week. I go around and do this presentation to many chapters and I like to ask them what does many visitors mean to you? Ivan, I will ask you what would many visitors mean to you at a chapter meeting?

Ivan:
It’s a variable. If you are having a visitor’s day, clearly it would be larger. If you are a chapter of 50 members, it would be larger than if you were a chapter of 20 members. Let’s assume a chapter of about 23 members, which is the statistical average right now worldwide. To me, many visitors would be 4-7. 4 on the low side. 7 on the slightly higher side. That would be a lot of visitors for a 23 member chapter. That would be incredible.

Tim:
Absolutely. 4-7 people and not all of the visitors have to qualify for membership. That’s one of the things that we have tried to give to the chapters. Bring guests. Bring people that can do business with the members of the chapter. If you stop focusing on folks that can join the chapter and just bring people who can do business with the members of the chapter, you can get that many each week.

Ivan:
I think differentiating between a visitor and a guest is probably not a bad idea. A visitor, to me, is a prospective member. A guest is somebody who really isn’t a prospective member. That might be an interesting way to differentiate between the two in my opinion.

Tim:
Absolutely. Once you have many visitors and guests in the room, we have to run a professional meeting, a well-run put together agenda that is provided by BNI with a special attention that is paid to the hidden element of the BNI chapter meeting. I know that is one of your favorite topics, Ivan, as it relates to our agenda. Do you want to talk about the hidden elements for a sec?

Ivan:
Yeah, that is a passion of mine. The hidden elements. Let me recommend for listeners of the podcast to go back to episode number 16, which was done a few years ago, where I talk about the hidden elements. You can find if you are on the leadership team and have the agenda there, all of the agenda items with an asterisk, which represents an item which is a hidden element. A hidden element is something that is much deeper than it sounds like.

For example, the visitor host is a much more complex topic than just having someone welcome visitors. I can’t in five minutes explain what it is, so I would refer people to episode 16. That will give a really good sense of an important thing that makes a really big difference in the chapter, the hidden elements.

Tim:
Absolutely. We talk about everything from entering the meeting 15 minutes prior to the start of the meeting, being there, being prepared to welcome your guests and your visitors through open networking and through each point of the agenda, taking special attention and care to introduce that portion of the agenda, run it professional, and as the meeting concludes, to make sure that we are doing a great, spectacular orientation with our visitors and guests and offering them the opportunity to be considered for membership by filling out an application.

Ivan:
Orientation is so important. I agree completely.

Tim:
It absolutely is. Often people will say, “Come back next week and visit with us and check us out again.” I have heard you say, Ivan, that is like an insurance salesman getting to the end of the presentation and saying, “Okay. I’ll come back next week to see what you think.”

Ivan:
“I’ll come back next week, and do the entire same presentation,” which is really crazy. By the way, it was an insurance agent who told me to stop doing that because that’s what it sounded like when I was doing it. I was like, wow, you’re right. Thank you.

Tim:
We have to make sure that we pay special attention to that professionally run meeting. There is a value there for the members and the guests and the visitors each and every week.

Ivan:
Let me just say one last thing, because I know you have to move on to the third item. You can have a ton of visitors, but if you run a lousy meeting, what good is any visitors? Professionally run, that is the core of a good BNI group- running a great meeting.

Tim:
So with number 3, as that meeting concludes, our job is follow up. Not only is a chapter, leadership team and members to follow up with the visitors and guests to answer any questions that they might have, to invite them back for a second look at our chapter meeting, but also for our members to follow up with each other about the business that was passed at the chapter meeting that week. Make sure that you are following up on the referrals that you received, that you are following up on the referrals that you have given to make sure that the person that you have referred gets the right care and the right treatment from your BNI members. Follow up is key to success in this organization.

Ivan:
Very true, and it’s key to success in developing a personal referral network.

Tim:
Absolutely, so follow up, follow up, follow up. You can’t follow up too much.

Ivan:
Right. That is probably an area that is not done a lot, in terms of following up with visitors.

Tim:
It’s not. One of the things I ask my members is if you gave a referral to someone who didn’t follow up with it, do you give them a second chance? Would you refer them a second time? Most people would not.

With number 4, which is our last pillar of a successful BNI group, we talk about accountability in and around the chapter. Now, the accountability is provided by our membership committee for our chapter. One of the most important things that we are accountable to is attendance. Being there each and every week on time so we can participate in the meeting appropriately. Participating in the meeting appropriately is bringing visitors, bringing guests, bringing referrals, being prepared for your 60-second, being prepared for your 10-minute when it is time to do so. All of these things come into play in that accountability to making sure that everyone in the group is participating and making the group successful comes from the membership committee.

Ivan:
Accountability is so important in a successful group. I have said this a lot of the podcast. One of the strengths of the group is that most of the members are friends, and one of the weaknesses of a group like BNI is most of the members are friends. Friends don’t like to hold each other accountable, but the groups that are most successful are the ones that get it that accountability is key. They have accountability with their groups, including things like attendance.

Tim:
Absolutely. One of my favorite things to work with chapters on is when we have a member who will come and they may be a little out of sorts based on the way things are going on their chapter. The suggestion that I make to folks if they want to make it better is to get involved in the leadership team. Get involved in that membership committee and make sure that your chapter is providing the members what they have paid for, which is the BNI system. That BNI system is all about accountability.

So those are our 4 pillars of our BNI group.

Ivan:
Any closing thoughts?

Tim:
Well, I tell you, the chapters that follow these 4 pillars tend to have more members and more business and more success in their groups. The ones that hit one or two of them don’t have as much success as they could. Implementing all 4 of these into your group is a great way to have success.

Ivan:
Hit all four cylinders on this and you will have a successful chapter. The four, again, are have many visitors, have a well-run professional meeting, utilize the hidden elements and check out episode 16 if you would like to know more about that, follow up after the meeting and accountability. Do those four things, do them well and you are going to have a successful chapter. Tim understands that very well. He is a National Training Director for BNI as well as an Executive Director. Tim Paulin, thank you so much for being on our podcast today. I really appreciate you being here.

Tim:
Absolutely. Thank you for having me, Ivan.

Ivan:
Thanks Tim. Back to you, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great. Thank you both very much. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This episode is a rebroadcast of Episode 107, from 2009.

Dr. Misner shares three networking faux pas that he’s run into over the years.

1. Not responding quickly to referral partners. Don’t put off returning phone calls to your referral partners even if you’re not sure they have a referral for you.
2. Confusing networking with direct selling. Networking isn’t about collecting business cards and then sending them sales pitches or making cold calls.
3. Abusing the relationship. The worst example Dr. Misner is aware of is someone who disguised a sales pitch as a 50th birthday party.

Read Dr. Misner’s complete article on Entrepreneur.com.

What kind of networking faux pas have you encountered? (No names, please!)

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Read the complete transcript of this episode.

Marketing and sales is not something Dr. Misner was always confident about, but he unexpectedly became the marketing manager at a business he worked for, so he started reading and learned on the job. Sometimes our lives and our businesses go in unexpected directions.

The key to success in referral marketing is helping other people do what they do  best. So whatever business you’re in, build your own brand. Name recognition is the biggest challenge for small companies. For Dr. Misner, brand building was about writing (newspaper articles, blogging); for others, it may be video or podcasting. If you demonstrate expertise in your field, people will follow you.

Read Dr. Misner’s Entrepreneur.com post about this topic and tell us how you’re making your mark.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 247 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you?

Ivan:
I am doing great, Priscilla. Thank you very much. I am here at BNI HQ this week, trying to catch up from the book tour that we are doing. The topic that I have this week, making your mark, is kind of an interesting one. It was my communications rep that suggested it. In the social media, we get a lot of members that like some of the personal stories that we have on either BNI got to where it is or how I went in the direction I did. This is one of those.

There are a lot of entrepreneurs out there that find themselves in a business that they didn’t see themselves in 10 or 20 years ago. Like I say, marketing and sales isn’t something I was always confident about. As a matter of fact, when I started out in business my bachelors degree was in political science. My masters and doctorate was in administration and organizational behavior. I had virtually no experience in marketing. I think it is ironic that I ended up very much in marketing.

What happened that got me into marketing a bit was that I worked for a transportation company in southern CA in the early 80′s. In the first month of the job, my boss asked what I knew about purchasing. I said I didn’t know anything about purchasing. He said, “Well, read some books because in about an hour I am going to fire the purchasing agent for the company and you are now the purchasing agent. You are going to do that and you’re assistant to the president.” I thought okay, I can do that. So I took on purchasing.

Then about a month later, he said, “Ivan, what do you know about marketing?” I said, “Boss, I know less about marketing than I do about purchasing.” He said, “In about an hour, I am going to fire the Director of Marketing Services. You are going to be the manager of marketing services. You had better read up.”

So I found myself for six months as the manager of marketing services. I really didn’t know anything when I took that over. My marketing experience was really trial by fire and it was reading. I just started reading books on marketing, and I just learned as I went. It gave me enough knowledge to do some marketing on my own.

Then when I became a business consultant, I was able to take some of that experience and apply it. It kind of brings me back to where I started. If anybody would have asked me when I was 25 years old in marketing for this company where I saw my career 30 years down the road, I would have had no clue that I would be in marketing and that I would be the founder of the world’s largest referral marketing group.

Sometimes we go in places- this is sort of a message that my communications staff feels would be of value when they talk about the podcast and social media. Sometimes we go in places in life that we never expected to go. That is where I am. I didn’t think that I was going to start the world’s largest referral organization. I am passionate about helping people grow their businesses. I think that is the key to whatever you do. You have to be passionate about helping people grow their businesses, and you achieve great success through referral marketing by helping other people do what they do best.

I think it is really important that whatever business you are in and all the businesses that are represented here in BNI, if I had to give my top marketing tip for you to be successful in whatever it is that you do it would be about building you as a brand. Building your expertise. Your name recognition. I think that is the most important lesson that I learned when I was in my 20′s working for the transportation company and later as I started my consulting company and when I started BNI. It’s building your recognition, you as a brand and your company as a brand.

Name recognition is the biggest challenge, especially for small companies. Especially for entrepreneurs and for sales people of large companies. It’s not the same for everybody because people’s skill sets are different, but for me in my business, brand building was largely about writing. Before the internet, I was trying to get articles in newspapers and magazines. Of course, now, it is a lot easier with blogs and social media. Even small companies and individuals can have a global reach with the internet.

So you have to take action to be able to stand out and the top marketing tip from me to people would be write, write, write. Be an expert in your field so that people want to follow you because they will folloe you. They are more likely to do business with you when they know that you are an expert at what you do. Building your brand, to me, is about writing and I know you had a question about that, Priscilla.

Priscilla:
Yeah, I was thinking about it. I read your blog on it and it really did emphasize writing. I was wondering what are your suggestions if you are not a writer?

Ivan:
Right. Now, more than ever, we are at a place in the world where you don’t have to be a writer to have the same kind of impact because technology exists today that allows you to be a video writer, a video blogger. All you need is a little webcam that costs almost nothing and you can be a video blogger. So you don’t have to write to be able to build an audience. Most people are successful when they can talk about what they do. They may feel uncomfortable talking about stuff that they don’t know well, but most people are good at explaining what they do and helping people.

Put a video camera in front of you and start doing video blogging. As a matter of fact, if you look at my blog at businessnetworking.com, half of my blogs now are video blogs. I do two blogs a week as a rule. Monday is a written blog. Thursday is a video blog. Almost every Thursday is a video blog.

Priscilla:
Do you do all of the recordings yourself?

Ivan:
I do almost all the recordings myself, usually with a Flip video at some remote location. You can always tell because you can hear noise in the background and I am doing Flip video. Sometimes I am doing in studio videos. We have a small studio here at BNI HQ. I’ll do a video here and post one of those. Other times, it might be a video from a live presentation that I did. It could be a lot of things, but generally, it’s a Flip video that I use.

Very informal. Most of them are not in a green screen kind of environment. It’s really informal. Anybody can do that. Anybody can do that. So what I want to leave with- if you have another question, I will be glad to take it, but what I want to leave the members with is my top marketing tip other than building your business by referrals.

My top marketing tip is build your brand, and the best way to do that is to blog or write. You can do video blogging if you don’t like writing. That really helps to build your expertise. I strongly recommend that. If you have somebody in your chapter who does or knows about video blogging- you might have a coach or a web person who does that. Have a conversation with them. I think it is the best thing you can do to build your brand.

Priscilla:
That’s great.

Ivan:
Or podcast, like you and I do here, Priscilla, every week. I think podcasts are another way to build a brand. What you do in helping people produce podcasts is exactly what people who want to have any kind of regional or global reach should be doing. So call Priscilla Rice.

Priscilla:
Yes, please. Live Oak Recording Studio will help you with your podcast. I think the regularity is probably the thing I would want to stress, right? You can definitely start something, but then if you let it go, it’s not going to work for you.

Ivan:
Yeah, it takes a real commitment to do that, but you don’t have to do it twice a week. Just once a week is fine. I think that is sort of the minimum if you want to do something once a week. But if you want to do a video blog, I take my Flip video with me everywhere- everywhere! If I am at an event and I meet somebody whom I think has a good topic, we’ll do it. Video blogs are two minutes, maybe four. So I’ll have a conversation with somebody about some topic that I think will be of interest to my readers and viewers. It doesn’t take a lot of work to do Flip videos.

Priscilla:
And how do we see those again?

Ivan:
You can see those by going to businessnetworking.com. Businessnetworking.com is my blog. It’s not BNI-centrific about networking for everyone, but I write it with BNI in mind. You will see that almost every Monday is a written blog and almost every Thursday is a video blog. So go check out the video blogs and you can see what you can do if you hate writing. You don’t need to be a writer.

Priscilla:
Great, Ivan. I like that idea. Okay then, do you have anything else to add?

Ivan:
No, that’s it for today, Priscilla. Thank you very much.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great. Well, I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by networkingnow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you for listening. This is Priscilla Rice, and we hope you will join is next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This week Dr. Misner answers a question from a BNI member named Robert: “How do you handle requests from people you barely know or don’t know at all, who ask you to give them names of your contacts so they can connect with those people for their own ventures or projects?”

Dr. Misner suggests you recommend that these people read his article about Visibility, Credibility, and Profitability on Entrepreneur.com and explain that you haven’t even reached Visibility with this person, but once you’ve established Credibility, you’ll be happy to share your contacts.

At this point, 90% of people move on to the next victim. But a few people will hear you, get it, and start working on establishing a relationship.

Read Dr. Misner’s post on Entrepreneur.com.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 246 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. How are you and where are you?

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. This week, I am in New York as part of the book tour for Business Networking and Sex, doing a presentation in the area. As you may recall, the reason why I mention where I am at in the podcast is to remind the members that I am on the road a lot visiting regions. I think it’s an important part of what I do- not to just to podcasts but to be out there meeting people. It’s one of the fun things that I do. We always do it each podcast so members can see that I am out and about visiting them.

Priscilla:
And they can visit you.

Ivan:
And they can visit me, yeah. That, to me, is the most exciting part of what I do- to meet so many people who BNI has helped in business. It really turns me on as a business person to see that kind of impact. When you hear of me coming out to a region, come visit. Come hear my presentation. Tell me that you listen to the podcasts.

Priscilla:
Great. So what are you going to share with us today?

Ivan:
Today, I am going to talk about handling requests for referrals from strangers. I have touched upon subjects like this but not quite exactly in the same way. I recently had a BNI member by the name of Robert who asked a really good question. I am going to read his question here and then I am going to give the answer. It is a really specific question that he asked about somebody trying to get a referral from him that the didn’t really know. Here is his email to me:

“Good morning, Dr. Misner. I was wondering if you could answer a question. When it comes to networking and being a connector, how do you handle requests from people you barely know or don’t know at all who ask you to give them names of your contacts so they can connect with those people for their own ventures or projects? For example, I recently received a message from a woman I met years ago at a networking function.”

It was a chamber function. She had left the chamber and is now attempting to find her niche. She had sent a message to him. It said, “ Hello. Happy summer. Do you know personally any life or disability agents or financial planners I need to meet as soon as possible in the area to see if they could use our medical services.” And she gave the name of the company. “To complete the medical portion of the insurance applications, could you forward any names to me if you know someone like that?” And then she signed it.

Robert sent this to me and said, “What do you do when you get something like this?” I’ve had this kind of question asked to me a lot. I have written about it in my blog. I have talked a little bit about it in my podcasts. But I have never given a specific answer. I have told what I have done but never given a suggestion to members on how to handle it. That’s what I want to do here today.

I think when people contact you with requests like the one I just described here from Robert, I would recommend them to an article that I wrote to the VCP process. We are going to have a link in this podcast so that you can just click on that link. Use that link. That is, by the way, what I do. I refer people to this article. I explain to them that although I appreciate them reaching out to me, and you can do the same as you appreciate that person reaching out to you, you are not even at visibility yet.

This article talks about the VCP process, which we have talked about in podcasts before. Visibility, credibility, profitability. All networking relationships start pre-visibility. You establish who that person is and get to visibility. Then you get to credibility where people know you, who you are and what you do. Only then do you get to profitability, where people know who you are and what you do. They know you are good at it and are willing to refer you.

Refer them to this article and you can say, “We are not quite at visibility yet. In order for me to feel comfortable referring to you, we need to build a relationship over time that brings us to credibility. When we are at strong credibility, which takes time in the relationship process, then we can talk about referring people to appropriate contacts.”

Here is the thing, Priscilla. When most people read that article, and they get that answer that you appreciate the request. Read this, it’s your philosophy on networking and you’re at pre-visibility, when you get to credibility you’ll be happy to refer to them. When they read the article and get that kind of response, and I have done this verbally as well- they move on.

Priscilla:
Absolutely.

Ivan:
Nine times out of ten and that is conservative. They just say thank you very much and look for the next victim. These people are hunting. They are not farming. This is, to me, a perfect example of confusing networking with direct selling. People will just contact someone that they vaguely know and ask you to refer them to everybody on your mailing list.

That’s not networking. That’s direct selling. I would argue that it’s not even good direct selling. It’s really bad direct selling. I think all of us at one point or another in our lives have had someone ask us for something that we are really not ready to give to them because there is no relationship. I have found that most people just don’t have an answer for that. They look in their objection book and there is no answer for the objection of we are not in visibility yet in the VCP process. Nobody has ever given them an answer to that. So they move on. Or- a handful, just a few, hear you, get it and are then willing to move the relationship on. Occasionally it has happened, and occasionally I have ended up working with people and referring people because they heard my message. It’s all about relationships and it’s all about credibility before I give you a referral.

That’s how I recommend. If you, as a BNI member, get a question like Robert did, that’s how I recommend that you handle it. Any thoughts, Priscilla?

Priscilla:
I can’t imagine actually doing what you just suggested myself, personally. I would be more like, “Whoa. Don’t you think we should have cup of coffee and I can learn a little bit more about your business? You know, something a little less technical and friendlier.

Ivan:
What? That’s not friendly?

Priscilla:
But if you were trying to kind of guard against that, that would be a good solution, Ivan.

Ivan:
But you have to ask yourself. Is this someone that you have any interest with in a relationship? Like this person came on and she hadn’t met him in years. He didn’t want to have a cup of coffee with her. She was out of bounds. So you have to ask yourself does this person mean well and do they look like somebody you really want to get to know? Does it sound like somebody that you really want to get to know? Then a cup of coffee is a great idea.

But if you feel really put off- I really think if you practice this, you will become more comfortable. I felt awkward doing it. It was my own stuff and I felt awkward doing what I am suggesting the first time. But after I did it a few times, it got really easy because what I talk about is all about the relationship. So I say it is all about the relationship. Before I can refer you to other people, I have to really have a relationship with you. That takes time. So we can start by read this article and then let’s recap because we can move through visibility and credibility and get to that point of profitability. We have to do that before I can refer you to anybody. I do it in a very friendly way. I’m telling you that 9 out of 10 people run, not because I said it aggressively, but because they don’t want to do all that. They just want my mailing list.

Priscilla:
Okay. I have another suggestion kind of similar to that, which would be invite them to the BNI meeting. Then that would be an opportunity for you to get to know them and for them to get to know the group and for them to see whether they follow through on that.

Ivan:
That is a good suggestion and it is certainly worth doing. I have one BNI member who says he has ever cold call put through to him. He tells his secretary to put every cold call through to him and he says, “Look. I’ll be glad to meet with you. It’s Tuesday morning at 7:00 am at such and such location.” He gets a lot of people.

It’s a great idea. There is one down side to it. The down side is that you could bring somebody who is a hunter and not a farmer. They could be just looking for lists and they may not make a good member. You have to go into it understanding that you are inviting somebody who has already taken the wrong approach. Are they they the kind of person who you feel might change their behavior? If for any reason you feel they might, then I think your idea would work.

Priscilla:
Yeah. That makes sense. Sometimes people need to be educated.

Ivan:
You know what, you are absolutely right. Everybody- maybe not everybody but almost everybody I know was at one time bad at networking. I surely was. I was not just a victim but was responsible for asking for referrals before there was a relationship. Years ago, before I understood that, I did it like everyone else. I did it proudly. You’re right. If you have someone who is willing to learn, that is the kind of person that you should bring in.

I hadn’t thought about this. Maybe do the VCP thing with them and then say, “A great way to start that process would be- if you want to get to visibility with me, come meet me at a BNI meeting next Tuesday at 7:00 am” or whenever it is. That might work. Either they are just in it for the list, they don’t care and they will hunt and then move on, or they really heard your message and then you have kind of given them an open door to start the process. You’re right, Priscilla. I like that.

Priscilla:
I think that’s better because it is friendlier and it brings visitors to the meeting. It just gives them an opportunity to come through for you, and it doesn’t take your personal time as well.

Ivan:
There you go. You helped me formulate an expansion on my idea here, live on this podcast. I appreciate the discussion. It was a good one.

Priscilla:
Okay, good. Well, would you like to add something to that?

Ivan:
No. I think that’s it. It’s important to remember that direct selling is not networking. It’s direct selling. This is all about farming and when people try to direct sell you, do as Priscilla and I just worked out here. Explain to them the VCP process. The link is in this podcast. Then invite them to your BNI chapter or chamber or some other organization that you are in, and Priscilla, they can start the visibility process. That’s it for today.

Priscilla:
Okay. That’s perfect. Thank you, Dr. Misner. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

Today Mike Ryan, a founding member of the founding chapter of BNI, joins Dr Misner on the podcast to provide some tips on how to keep your BNI meetings fresh. (Yes, even after 27 years of attending the same chapter week after week.)

1. Be engaged in your BNI chapter. Rotate through leadership team positions. Mentor new members via one-to-ones.
2. Keep current with new developments in BNI. There’s a constant stream of new ideas and activities to help BNI members pass more referrals. Re-enroll in the Member Success Program training.
3. Recharge your commitment by attending meetings outside your own chapter. Go to the members’ day the international conference, or attend a national BNI conference.

More suggestions: use the meeting stimulants, have a goals meeting for your chapter, and of course, listen to this podcast. And remember: the grass is greener where you water it.

Brought to you by Networking Now.

Complete Transcript of BNI Podcast Episode 245 -

Priscilla:
Hello everyone and welcome back to The Official BNI Podcast brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. I am Priscilla Rice, and I am coming to you from Live Oak Recording Studio in Berkeley, CA. I am joined on the phone today by the Founder and Chairman of BNI, Dr. Ivan Misner. Hello Ivan. I hear you have a nice guest for us today.

Ivan:
Hi Priscilla. I certainly do. I have a good friend of mine, Mike Ryan. Mike is a founding member of the founding chapter of BNI. We have known each other a long, long time. He’s a fantastic financial advisor. He’s my financial advisor. He started in the business in 1976. In 1983, he formed Ram Financial. He joined BNI and helped start the founding chapter of BNI in 1985 representing Ram Financial. He is know with Houseman Financial. He’s a registered investment advisor. He’s a premiere consultant with Genworth Financial, a former member of the advisory council for Sullaman Brothers. He’s a highly, highly qualified financial planner, a long term member of BNI and a good friend of mine. I know both Mike and Susanna, his wife, are very active in nonprofit groups.

Mike, it’s really, really good to have you on our BNI podcast. Thanks for joining me.

Mike:
Ivan, thank you so much with that gracious introduction. I appreciate it. It’s wonderful to be here.

Ivan:
I’m not sure I have ever said this to you, Mike, but I have said this on podcasts and I have said this in a lot of places. When I started BNI, I wanted to network up. I wanted to bring in people who I thought were more successful than me, more qualified than me. You were number one on that list, you and Caroline Denny, who is still with BNI, were the top two people in my networking up. I tell members bring in people who are more successful and more qualified. That is certainly what I thought of you then and think of you know. It is a pleasure to still have you involved in BNI.

Mike:
Thank you.

Ivan:
We are going to talk about an interesting topic. This topic actually came from Priscilla, who spoke to me- I think, Priscilla, it might have been after one of the recordings, where you asked how do you keep meetings fresh. I thought you couldn’t go to anyone better than someone who has been in the same chapter since day 1 for BNI, 27 years this month. Mike has been a member of the BNI chapter in the Arcadia area. It’s the Founders Chapter.

Mike, you have three points you want to talk about today. Let me just introduce the topics and let you run with it. The first point is to be engaged in your BNI chapter. Do you want to talk about that?

Mike:
Yes. I think it’s important that people be there. What happens so often is many of us get settled into our patterns and then cease to grow. To end up obtaining referrals and qualified referrals, and to help avoid this, our long time members rotate through the leadership team. It forces us to grab a hold of more recent things and stay excited about it. It’s like anything at work or that you might do. It’s showtime in a way.

Ivan:
No only to be there but be engaged there. How many times have you been chapter President?

Mike:
Probably three or four times. I have been the education person. So the old-timers kind of rotate through the membership committee, the leadership team, the visitor host, and the event person. Right now, the President of the Founders Chapter is Margaret A’Lacour. You know her. 18 years.

Ivan:
Margaret has been in forever and ever. One of the founding members of one of the first few chapters as well.

Mike:
Our VP is Zena Kingsfield, 25 years a member. The other thing we do is we really go for the one on ones. We think it’s super important that we mentor the young people and that forces us to be real positive in encouraging them, too. I think that process is extremely helpful.

Ivan:
Be engaged. Get involved. If you have been in the group for any length of time, take on different roles like membership committee, education coordinator, different leadership team positions and do one to ones. That’s great advice. The second point that you gave me to talk about is keep current with new developments and refinements. Do you want to talk about that?

Mike:
I think that when you have been in business for a long time, you learn that the referral process is a developing process with new ideas and new activities. There is a constant stream of information and insights on how to develop more referrals. You will remember, Ivan, that we had the prospect slip. Then it went to the referral slip, right? From that came Givers Gain, a philosophy that personally I believe is the driving force of the growth of BNI. They are very strongly- and then comes BNI Connect. That brings the ability to learn about events and meetings and integrate these new activities. We try to integrate them in our BNI meeting and connect with other BNI chapters and their members. This has led to referrals from other chapters. So we have expanded the referral base.

Ivan:
And of course, these podcasts. We have almost 250 podcasts now. A lot of great content. The more members can immerse in ongoing learning, the more successful they are going to be. And you believe that it keeps things fresh as well, yes?

Mike:
And I think the support training is a real help in this area. I have gotten that feedback from several of our older members who have gone back and gone to BNI HQ for member support training. They come back all refreshed and excited. It’s great.

Ivan:
We see many people who come to member success training and many regions have various forms of advanced training. But they go back to the basic training, the member success program training, because there are some new things that are going on and it’s good to get a refresher every now and then.

Priscilla:
Can I ask a quick question?

Ivan:
Sure.

Priscilla:
Mike, you spoke about getting together with other chapters. Can you be a little more specific about what you do?

Mike:
We have done some combined social get togethers, like a cocktail night or something of that sort. That is pretty much what we have done.

Priscilla:
That seems like a good idea.

Ivan:
And that was actually your third category, was it not, Mike? Recharging your commitment by attending different kinds of meetings outside your own chapter. So three things you would recommend. This is from somebody who has been a member for 27 years. I think it is great advice. Be engaged. Be present. Do one to ones. Keep current with new developments and refinements. Go to MSP training again if you can. Do those. Stay connected. Start to utilize BNI Connect, which I know there are a lot of issues with BNI Connect, but I promise we are getting there. It will absolutely be an amazing tool to connect people globally as it continues. So use BNI Connect, listen to the podcast and go visit other groups. Is that everything you had in mind?

Mike:
That’s pretty much it. The other thing I wanted to hit on is that in addition to that, going to the international conference, I always come back highly motivated and impressed with what other people are doing with their BNI chapters around the world.

Ivan:
You bring up a great point. For the listeners here, BNI does do a conference every year. It’s open to members from around the world. We do occasionally get people from other countries who come to the conference. The conference is mostly BNI Directors but we have one day which is always for members. If you go to BNI.com, in October you will see that we announce every year when the conference is coming up. You can always email us at bni@bni.com if you want to know when the next conference is.

If you don’t want to come all the way here for the conferences, there are many national conferences all around the world. Check with your directors to find out when there are national conferences. There are generally members days where you can visit those.

I think you are right, Mike, the international conference is really special. It is like going to the United Nations. Flags all over and all of the different accents. It’s really amazing.

Mike:
They do some amazing things. In a summary way, it’s not real complex. Continue to do the things that get good, qualified referrals using the processes.

Ivan:
Stick to the basics. Use the system. Priscilla, you went back to your chapter and did some brainstorming with your chapter about things to do to keep the group fresh. Anything that came from the chapter that you would like to chat with Mike about? I know you have looked at this as well.

Priscilla:
Our chapter has been together for about 9 years. You know how you sometimes think maybe I should leave this chapter and join another chapter because they don’t know me as well and it might be exciting. I don’t really want to do that because I have all these great relationships in my chapter. I know some of the other members have thought this way also. That’s where this topic came up.

Ivan suggested I ask for some suggestions from the other people in the group. They came up with ideas. Some of the top ideas, I guess, were bringing visitors and using the meeting stimulants or possibly doing your neighbor’s infomercial, that kind of thing, to make the meeting more fun.

Ivan:
By the way, there are over 40 meeting stimulants now. If you are not aware of them go see your local BNI Director and they can provide you with those. That’s great advice that your chapter came up with. What else?

Priscilla:
Then, of course, we did the one on one thing. I think it’s important, probably a good idea to do one on ones with people that you know really well anyway and just see what is new in their business and what their new focus is and their goals are. That was the other thing. We had a goal setting session at the beginning of the year and we checked in to see how we did. We had goals specifically for our BNI group. How many referrals we wanted to give, how many guests we wanted to bring. I think that’s helpful.

Ivan:
Your chapter came up with, I think, a good list. Bringing visitors helps keep it new and fresh. The meeting stimulants, doing one to ones. By the way, we are trying to call them one to ones now because we discovered the hard way, Mike- you may not know this. But one on one has a completely different connotation in some countries. For any countries that are listening to this, we apologize it is a one to one. We had a lot of fun with that when we discovered in some countries it means something completely different. That’s the fun of running an international business.

Listen, I wish that sometimes these podcasts could go longer and we could go deeper, but we covered a lot of great stuff. Go back and listen to this podcast again. There is a transcript of this material. I think that the points that Priscilla and Mike brought up are really important. The one to ones, staying engaged in a chapter, staying on top of the material that is coming out, like these podcasts, looking at new developments, bringing in visitors, meeting stimulants- all of these help to keep the meetings fresh.

There is one thing I’d add. I’ve been saying this for years. There is that saying the grass is greener on the other side. You were saying, Priscilla, there are people who want to go to another group because they have built the relationships here. One of the things that I learned is that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it. It’s all about building those relationships. Longevity in a healthy, good chapter is a good thing for referral business. You are going to get more referral business with the people who truly trust you. So there is a huge advantage to being in a group for a long time, as long as you keep things fresh. I think you guys gave some great examples. Anything you want to add before we wrap up, Mike?

Mike:
No, not really.

Ivan:
Mike, thank you so much. It has been wonderful working with you for 27 years. I look forward to a long term continued relationship. I don’t know if I mentioned this is the beginning, but Mike is my financial planner. He does a great job. It’s been my pleasure working with you. Priscilla, do you have anything that you want to add before I close up?

Priscilla:
No, but that is an awfully good referral for Mike that you just gave.

Ivan:
It has been a pleasure working with him and I look forward to continuing to work with him. Priscilla, thanks a lot for bringing up this topic as a podcast. This was your idea and I think we have some great content. Members, take this to your chapter. Share it with your chapters. Take the transcript. Education coordinators, use it at your next chapter meeting. I think it’s great content. Mike, thank you. Priscilla, back to you.

Priscilla:
Okay. Great. Thank you, Dr. Misner. I would just like to remind the listeners that this podcast has been brought to you by NetworkingNow.com, which is the leading site on the net for networking downloadables. Thank you so much for listening. This is Priscilla Rice and we hope you will join us next week for another exciting episode of The Official BNI Podcast.

This is a rebroadcast of Episode 152.

About 20 years ago, Dr. Misner met a commercial light bulb salesman who wanted to join BNI. He was a little concerned that a person in such a unique profession might not do well, but the prospective member had no doubts.

First, he wanted people he could refer his clients to, because that would strengthen his relationship with them.

Second, he knew he was the kind of networker who could get business anywhere.

He was right. During his first year in BNI, 40% of the sales he got came from referrals from his BNI chapter.

Success in BNI doesn’t depend on the profession, but on the person. If you’re willing to give and help and learn, you’ll succeed in BNI.

Read the transcript in the Episode 152 show notes.

Brought to you by Ask Ivan Misner.