Here are some wedding budget saving tips for you to consider.

If reception vendors present you with a preliminary bid on your reception, look it over carefully. Ask for days when there is no minimum bill. In many towns, Sunday afternoons are slow times in restaurants and you may host an event without the dreaded minimums. Look over the submitted menus and cross off items that you don’t really want or need or items that may have been included but not ordered.

If you can juggle the date, consider getting married on a Thursday or in mid January or other “off season” time. You may not have flowers in the gardens but you are likely to have your pick of reception vendors and locations.

Many brides are choosing to shop estate jewelry for wedding bands. For some, there is not only a tremendous savings in dollars, but they like the idea of continuity offered by wedding bands worn in another life with another couple. If possible hold the ceremony and reception at the same site. Wedding guests will be glad they don’t have to travel from place to place.

Be sure of your ONE IMPORTANT THING and don’t let go of it. Our brides want to have the gown of their dreams - that is what is important to them. Part of our service to them is to help them find ways to have the gown and cut invisible corners elsewhere in the budget. Money can be saved on centerpieces, church decorations, photography and even event locations. A professional wedding planner can help you turn out a wonderful wedding - within or under budget - that creates beautiful memories that are truly priceless.

Bluestone Weddings & Special Events

Here at Bluestone Weddings & Events our brides ask lots of questions about how certain wedding traditions came into being. We are happy to share the source for many of the unique and time-honored wedding traditions all of us have come to know. A recent bride asked us why her parents/family/friends were to sit on one side of the church and the groom’s family/friends sit on the other.

She asked us “Does it matter where the wedding guests are seated?”

The answer is that while the wedding guests seating “rules” are generally followed, many couples choose to provide balance to the church seating arrangements for your wedding rather than adhere to the guidelines that have been in use for a very long time.

Here’s the history of that wedding tradition. Brides can decide if they wish to maintain it.

In ancient times, brides were often abducted or stolen or sold. To marry for love and by mutual consent is a relatively contemporary idea. When warring groups decided that they would no longer battle, peace was generally arranged through intermarriage. That act made them family and they would not/could not fight and cause bloodshed.

Members of both groups would attend the marriage to witness the joining, but they maintained a little distance between groups so that a fatal interruption to the ceremony could be avoided.

Now when the bride’s family sits peacefully on the left hand side of the church during the wedding ceremony and the groom’s on the right, you know the origin of the tradition for seating your wedding guests.

Bluestone Weddings & Events - wedding coordinators

Eco-Friendly Wedding Invitations & Favors

Soy candles are a great way to decorate your tables and can also be used as favors. They last longer, are without toxins and are biodegradable, providing natural mood lighting at a minimal expense.

Replace traditional wedding favors with tree seedlings, flower seeds or bulbs. Check out some of our eco-friendly favors at 10% off.

More and more publishing companies are offering eco-friendly lines of wedding invitations. The Naturally Ever After line includes quality invitations containing at least 30% post-consumer fibers. Other eco-friendly wedding invitations are made of 100% recycled paper, with soy based inks. You don’t have to give up quality to go green!

The “Green” Wedding Gown

Purchasing a previously owned wedding gown reduces the energy and fabric needed to produce a new gown and can conserve money. Try using “natural” or organic fabrics for your wedding gown and avoid using imported materials.

Choosing bridesmaids dresses in styles that can be worn again is a simple way of being eco-conscious and your bridesmaids will thank you for it.

Eco-Conscious Wedding Planning

Use the Internet! Instead of ripping out pages in magazines for your wedding inspirations, check out Dessy.com online. Go to the Pantone Wedding tab and get inspired with their Styleboard Designs or create your own!

Consider setting up a wedding website that lists all the details of your wedding day, from registries to the story of how you met. Plus, you can even manage your guest list and RSVP’s, removing the need for response cards.

Try to plan your ceremony and reception at one location, preferably local, to reduce the driving for guests. The less time people have to spend traveling to your wedding, the less carbon emissions they need to produce.

Applying just one eco-friendly tip to your wedding planning can make a difference. Happy Earth Day!

Styleboard photo courtesy of www.dessy.com

Bluestone Weddings & Special Events

I love my wedding bouquet and don’t want to throw it. Do I have to?

More and more brides are choosing to keep their bridal bouquet for posterity or choose to give it to a cherished elder family member at the reception. If bouquet throwing is on the event calendar for the reception, you can have a smaller “toss” bouquet made up for the occasion. The tradition says that the next to marry is the single girl who catches the bouquet. In order for that to work it means that your single friends have to stand in front of the married ones at the throwing event. Many older friends are reluctant to do that and feel silly with the process. More and more brides are updating the part of a reception and replacing it with a “bouquet” of movie passes or lottery tickets or restaurant gift certificates that they toss to a co-ed crowd of guests.

How can I use the wedding flowers for more than just one day?

Your flowers represent a significant investment of time and money. It seems a shame to leave them to wilt in a restaurant or hall after the celebration is over. If you are having a day after brunch or breakfast with guests, arrange to have the reception flowers transported to the location or kept in a walk-in cooler overnight if the event is being held at the same hotel as the previous night’s reception. If that is not an option, arrange to have them transported to the church where the ceremony took place. Check with your florist about having the arrangements re-purposed to hospitals, hospice locations, nursing homes or a meal delivery program. Some couples urge guests to take the centerpieces home with them after the reception. They are too lovely not to be shared.

Check with your wedding coordinator or florist for more ideas when designing your wedding flowers.

Bluestone Weddings & Special Events
Wedding and event planner & coordinator

Pictures courtesy The Knot

Believe it or not we have brides who ask us if they really need to have a rehearsal. They just want to show up on their wedding day and trust that all will go well. We remind them that they are about to produce, direct and star in a major production. No Broadway play goes on without rehearsal. The wedding ceremony should not either.

We believe that to be sure that everything goes smoothly during the wedding ceremony the rehearsal is necessary. The bride and the groom with their attendants (which include the bride’s parents or whoever is walking her down the aisle) should take the rehearsal seriously, arriving on time and properly dressed.

Many years ago the bride chose a stand in for the wedding rehearsal, since it was considered unlucky for her to actually say any of the words of the ceremony before the actual event. Today however, both the bride and the groom take their places at the altar. It is unlikely that the clergyman will go through the entire service, but will talk and walk you through the sequence of events. Most will let the couple go through their responses if they wish.

If the wedding is to take place in a church, the clergy should be consulted about his/her preferences regarding the ceremony. After those preferences are taken into consideration, the remainder of the decisions should be left to the bride and groom concerning the placement of attendants and order of the processional and recessional. A wedding coordinator can be a valuable help during this process.

The ushers should be briefed on who will sit in the reserved pews and how the other pews should be filled. Other details like who will roll out the aisle cloth and when, who will escort the mothers, and who will decorate the pews in the unlikely event that the florist will not be covered at rehearsal.

If special music is to be played, a poem to be read or non-traditional vows said, those should be practiced at the ceremony rehearsal so they will be said easily during the wedding  ceremony. The groom’s parents may be invited to attend, but since they do not have an active part in the ceremony they do not need to be there. It is likely that they will be hosting the rehearsal dinner, which follows and would prefer to be at that location attending last minute details.

Bluestone Weddings - Southern California Wedding Coordinator and Planner

“Signing up for gifts makes me feel uncomfortable. Do I need to register at all?”

Utilizing a gift registry is as much for guests as it is for the couple. Bringing a gift that they know the bride and groom will cherish makes the effort even more special. Think of the registry process as a gentle way of assisting the guests to do what they are going to do anyway. A Bridal Registry gives them a comfortable way to help the bride and groom celebrate.

“Where should I register? Should I register both online and in a store?”

Registries on line can be a huge time saver for the out of town guests, plus you can log onto the site anytime to add or delete items. But be sure to register your preferences in a variety of retail locations as well. Ideally, you should select a good variety of locations for your bridal registry choices. Be sure to select at least one national chain if you have guests from other states. In addition, you should provide a range of purchase options for your guests by selecting one high-end store, and at least one inexpensive retailer. Some couples are also including information about a favorite charity and will indicate on their wedding website if they prefer gifts to that charity in their name.

“How do I let guests know where I am registered?”

Count on your website and your wedding party to spread the word about your gift registry preferences. Every season we have at least one bride who wants to include this information in her invitations, but we caution her that it is considered incredibly bad taste to do so. Your parents, your maid of honor, bridesmaids and relatives can spread this information family and friends. Wedding websites are a great way to keep track of your registries and keep your guests informed.

Bluestone Weddings - wedding coordinator

“If parents and in laws are contributing to wedding expenses, do they get a say in how I spend the money?”

They certainly do. Some parents will give you the money with no instructions or restrictions, but some will prefer to sponsor or fund a particular aspect of the wedding. Some may wish to host the wedding reception in its entirety. Others may wish to pay for the drinks only. Your role is to make sure that if there are preferences that you and the groom work closely with the donors to make plans that meet everyone’s needs.  Don’t forget to give equal credit on the wedding invitations if both sets of parents equally share in the costs.

“Is it OK to ask to ask for financial help for our wedding from our parents if they haven’t offered?”

It is - but try to do so graciously. You and your finance may meet individually with each set of parents and share with them your plans for the wedding. After you have gone over everything you’ve identified so far, it is appropriate to ask if they would be interested in helping you to fund any part of the day. You might suggest that funding the flowers or the photography or the cake or the band would be in lieu of a wedding gift. If there is no interest - so be it. Regroup and rethink the wedding budget. That’s where working with a wedding planner can prove valuable. We have all sorts of ideas of where and how to save money without having it “show”.

Bluestone Weddings - wedding planner

You are going to be dealing with so many different wedding vendors; it is easy for something to go wrong on your wedding day. The best way to insure that what you ordered is what you get is to be clear up front about what you ordered and get it in writing. Many of the wedding vendors with whom you will work are likely to have contracts that you’ll be expected to sign. Read them carefully before you do sign to make sure that you understand all of the terms.

Lots of contracts can have phrases like “subject to availability” or “vendor has the right to substitute goods or services comparable to those ordered”. If that language is in the contract, you should consider including a clause that spells out an acceptable alternative and that insists that you be contacted before the substitution is made. At least the change will not be a surprise to you.

A good wedding planner can help you negotiate and review your contracts with the vendors. Having her there on your wedding day to help oversee everything will also give you some piece of mind.

Bluestone Bridal - wedding invitations, accessories and favors

Brides will often ask “How much food is enough at the wedding reception?”

If you have hired a professional caterer, don’t worry about it. They always plan for enough, as long as you provide an accurate guest count. Running out of food would be a huge blow to their reputations, so it rarely if ever happens. But if you are planning for your own wedding reception catering of the food, here are some hints.

If you are serving “plated” meals, caterers usually figure per person - 6 to 8 oz of main dish (meat, fish, or vegetarian), 4-6 oz. of starches like rice or potatoes, 4 oz of vegetables and 6 oz of salad. They may also bump up that number by 10% to be sure.

Buffet meals tend to double the amount shown above. People tend to make more than one trip to the buffet table. Consider your guest list. Age, gender and activity levels of your guests will determine the volume of food they are likely to consume.

How long should the meal last?

While some wedding receptions - the ones with elaborate buffets, large guest lists and various “stations” for different kinds of foods may take two hours or more, it is usually safe to figure 1 - 1.5 hours for a sit down meal. Many couples plan a break between the entrée and dessert for dancing. If it takes much longer than this, guests will get restless. Pace the activities to keep the event moving. Your site manager or wedding coordinator will be able to advise you on the proper timelines.

Bluestone Weddings - wedding planner / wedding coordinator

Many brides and grooms ask me this question: “Do I have to have an open bar at my wedding reception?”

That depends on how important it is to you and what your budget can support. An open bar is likely to be your most expensive option since it will be necessary to cover a wide range of tastes and choices. It also depends on the facilities offered by your reception site and the time of your wedding reception.

More and more couples are choosing alternatives to the open bar. Please note that having a cash bar is not necessarily one of them. Some guests might consider it tasteless and tacky - rather like inviting guests for dinner and then charging them for it.

Here are some alternative options for you to consider:

• An open bar with time limits - say during the cocktails hours only.
• Offering a signature cocktail only.
• Offering only wine and beer.
• Serving punch - both non-alcoholic and alcoholic versions.
• Having champagne passed by gloved servers.
• Providing sparkling cider for the toasts.
• Predetermine the amount of alcohol you want served and stop service when that amount is used.

Be creative. There is no hard and fast rule that says an open bar is necessary to having a wonderful wedding reception. Have fun and your guests will too. Ask your wedding coordinator for ideas and suggestions for your wedding reception.

Bluestone Weddings - So. California wedding coordinator

I only have so much money to spend on flowers. Where should my focus be?

There are three places where you need to spend your wedding budget for flowers. You need to decide which of these is most important to you. You’ll need flowers for the ceremony, the wedding party and the reception.

While individual preferences vary, most floral experts will suggest that you allocate most of your floral budget to reception flowers because guests will see them up close. The second level of investment should be flowers for the wedding party because they will be heavily photographed. And the last level of expenditure should be for ceremony flowers since so many sites may have restrictions on what can be done.

You may not need many flowers at the ceremony and should consider rental of greenery if you have large spaces to fill. Our wedding coordinators can help you with many other ideas to make the most of your floral choices.

Bluestone Weddings - wedding coordinator, floral design
Bluestone Bridal - wedding invitations, favors & accessories

Before rings became the symbol of engagements, it was customary for the couple to break a silver or gold coin in two. One half was kept by the man and the other half by the woman to symbolize the marriage act.

Another early betrothal custom was for a young man to weave a bracelet of human hair (his) and offer it to the girl he hoped to marry. If she accepted it, that bracelet symbolized that their lives were woven together for life.

At one time in Denmark, it was customary and considered quite correct for an unmarried couple to exchange rings and live together for one year. If they were happy for the year they stayed together for life. But if not, they returned the rings and went their separate ways, each free to choose another. The custom was called hand-festing. (With This Ring, by June Jenkins)

Even though the plain gold band has been the symbol of true and everlasting love since Roman times, couples have found ways to enhance its simple but powerful message.

Although some brides prefer colored gemstones, the overwhelming choice of today’s bride is the diamond. And the diamond’s history adds to its popularity. Ancient superstitions claim that the diamond’s sparkle was born in the “fires of love”. Wearing a diamond was a guarantee of happiness. Because of this superstition, many people consider the diamond to be the only true engagement ring.

But today’s brides may also choose the emerald or pearl for their engagement stone, or a sapphire which is said to bring good luck. To wear a sapphire was to invite the favor of the gods. Other brides may choose amber which is said to prevent illness or coral which brings good luck. Jewelers can show you a wide range of prices and styles for your wedding and engagement ring choices. Always buy from a reputable jeweler with the confidence of knowing that whatever early tradition you follow, you are choosing each other and the ring as a symbol of that choice.

Bluestone Weddings - wedding coordinator, hair & makeup, officiants
Bluestone Bridal - wedding invitations, accessories & favors

Many mothers have carefully saved their own wedding gowns for their daughters to wear. It is a lovely thought but few brides take advantage of the offer these days. It is not that they don’t appreciate the link such a gown provides between the generations, they do. They just want their own gowns.

We have the solution. Stop in a talk with one of our experienced wedding consultants about how to incorporate the heirloom gown, or portions of it, into your preferred wedding gown look.

There are ways to capture the sentiment in this inherited gown.

If the basic structure of the gown works for you and the fabric is still in good shape, consider having a skilled professional make slight adjustments to the length (longer or shorter) and modify some of the features such as sleeve length or detail.

“Harvest” some of the lace from the heirloom gown to add to your gown or veil. The lace might work as an overlay or be fashioned into rosettes to trim the wedding gown. Some of it might be used as a sash or trim at the waist. Some of the material from the gown can be used as the base for your wedding bouquet. Work with your professional floral designer to find ways to incorporate the fabric.

Sometimes the fabrics are just too different to blend. You might consider displaying the heirloom gown at your reception and use it as the centerpiece for a display of family wedding photos - yours and his - to focus on the traditions and linkage that you, the new couple, represent. If you are working closely with one retailer on all of your wedding attire, it is possible that you could borrow one of their mannequins for the evening. Most stores now feature the dress form without arms, heads and wigs that could distract from the gown.

After your wedding you may wish to have both gowns cleaned and preserved to pass down to yet another generation of brides.

Bluestone Weddings - wedding consultant, hair & makeup, officiants
Bluestone Bridal - wedding invitations, accessories & favors

According to various bridal experts, the traditional formula is one bridesmaid for every 50 guests. And while that rule seems to make sense for groomsmen and ushers, the formula is somewhat looser for bridesmaids. If you have lots of sisters of close friends, you should include them all if that works for you. If you have only a few close relatives or friends, a smaller bridal party is fine. Sometimes there is a potential conflict if either the bride or groom wants a bigger wedding party than the other one might. Some negotiation will be necessary. Our wedding consultants can suggest other wedding related roles that you can offer to these “extras”. While it is usual to have one maid or matron of honor, there is nothing wrong with having one of each or two maids of honor if you have close friends or relatives that you want in that role.

How can I include my out of town bridesmaid?

If she lives some distance away and you really want her to plan to attend a shower or other event related to the wedding, you owe it to her to tell her that up front when you ask her to be in the wedding. Travel can be an additional burden on this friend - especially if you can’t afford to cover her travel expenses. If she accepts then you need to make every effort to keep her in the loop of wedding related activities and news. Establishing and maintaining an email link is vital to communicating news. Make sure that she knows about the website you’ve established and can access it easily.

How do I handle a bridesmaid who hasn’t gotten measured or ordered her dress yet?

Give her a gentle reminder that the order is being held up waiting for her size and deposit. Offer to meet her at the bridal shop at a certain date and time at her convenience. Make it a lunch date or dinner date to order the dress and then have time together. If the maid is a relative on the groom’s side, enlist the help of the groom’s mother and ask her to remind the maid that “time is critical”. Your maid of honor can assume the role of captain of the maids and call the maid as many times as is necessary to get this done. The store where you’ve selected the gowns can also help by sending reminder cards and/or emails to this person.

It is important to remember that although it is an honor to be an attendant at your wedding it is also an added expense for your bridesmaids, an expense that some may not be able to handle comfortably in this economy. When planning your wedding keep these expenses in mind so that it will be an enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

Bluestone Bridal - wedding accessories, invitations and favors
Bluestone Weddings - wedding consultant, hair & makeup, officiant

From experience we have learned that certain styles compliment those of a certain larger size. We know that darker clothing - like black or the darker shades of gray, are the best choices for these men.

We suggest pants that do not accentuate fullness. Yes, pleats do give more fullness, but they do not always flatter a bulkier bottom or hip area. Pants should always hang straight and break at the top of the shoe heel.

We find that over 90% of men are choosing vests over cummerbunds to wear underneath the tuxedo jacket. They make this choice for comfort as well as style. If jackets are discarded in the heat of the day or for the reception dancing, a full coverage vest can insure that the men in the party still look coordinated. A solid black or dark colored vest will look much better on a large-size man. A lay-down collar and trendy tie will give balance to someone with a wide upper body. To de-emphasize size, we suggest that a large man wear a simple one button style jacket. As you and your groom select the formalwear style that you want for your wedding, we remind you to consider the size and shape of the men in your wedding party. With the wide variety of styles and colors available to you from many vendor sources, formal wear experts can be your best friend as you create the wedding of your dreams together. Whatever the sizes of the men in your wedding party, be comfortable knowing that your formal wear experts can make everyone look their best for now and for your wedding photographic memories.

Bluestone Weddings - wedding coordinator & wedding services