I never thought I would say this

she’s having a hard time. respect that.

I am her Mother. When she is having a hard time in life then I worry about her. I Love her. I raised her by myself for years. Nobody knows like I do when she is hurting.

you do not need to remove yourself from her life completely.

I have not removed myself from her life completely. What gave you that impression? I am always there for my daughter even when it doesn’t seem like it to some.

going through her whole facebook page and unliking/deleting everything is so immature and unnecessary.

First of all … she requested that I not participate on her facebook page. I am honoring that request. I didn’t go through and delete all of my comments … just the ones that date back to July 2009.

There is nothing immature and unnecessary about respecting my daughter’s requests.

you are her mother.

Duh! I AM her Mother. I AM the one that knows better than anybody what I need to do.

you should know by now that respecting your teenager is key.

You keep referencing the word “respect” yet you have NO RESPECT whatsoever.

she broke up with her boyfriend. she’s going to be upset, moody, and irritable. just apologizing is enough.

Do you have children? If so … how old are your children? Do you have teenagers? If so … how old are your teenagers?

Of course she’s going to be moody and irritable. I understand that. You however … do Not understand what our family has been through as a result of her being with this boy.

you should never pretend that your daughter is somewhere out of state when really, she’s close to home.

Part of respecting our kids when they go off to college is allowing them to figure things out on their own without offering up an opinion OR help with something unless of course they ask for that help.

Most kids go out of state when they go off to college. Mine didn’t … she stayed here in town. There are days I think that it would have been nice if she had gone away (out of the state) or even just a few hours away for college. She gains her independence and has to learn to rely on herself because Mom and Dad aren’t always around to pick up the pieces. Backing off in a sense is showing your child that you respect them. How will they ever learn how to stand on their own two feet if we (her parents) are constantly sticking our noses into her business?

Of course we make it a point to know what’s going on in her life but we are not always going to vocalize that we know what she is going through until and unless she comes to us about it. THAT my dear … is RESPECT.

that is a completely horrible thing to do.

You sound like one of those parents (if you actually have kids) that had to rock your baby to sleep every single night in order to get them to go to sleep.

You have no idea what “HORRIBLE” is …

that is negligence of your own children.

You my dear are a BITCH for even making that suggestion.

you need to stop overreacting.

You my dear need to take a good look in the mirror.

your daughter needs you, even though she is in college and will never admit it.

Of course she needs me. I know that! She has admitted to me that she needs me and I am always there for her. I always will be there for her even when I am 100 and she is 80.

you need to be there for her.

Duh!? You know … your comment was really out of line. But that’s how it goes when I post stuff and have a comment option. You are entitled to say whatever you want to even though I (and I’m sure others) do not agree with your words.

being there for her does not mean forcing yourself upon her. let her deal with things the way she is used to dealing with them, and be there for support when she comes to you. don’t go to her, but don’t ignore her. dealing with teenagers is indeed tricky, but the way you’re acting is like you’re giving up. never give up.

You are contradicting yourself.

and NEVER POST BLOGS ABOUT YOUR KIDS FOR THE WHOLE WORLD TO SEE. how do you think that makes her feel?

It’s pretty apparent that you are not a blogger and you don’t understand blogs or the concepts behind blogging. If you did you would have never made that statement.

Of course I’m going to blog about whatever I feel like blogging about. The title of this blog is “BLABBABLE SECRET CONFESSIONS.” Do you understand what that means? No, it’s pretty obvious you do NOT understand OR get it.

My daughter (aka Children) have no idea that this blog even exists. There are a few people that know who I am but for the most part I don’t use real names and that is the entire point of this blog. To be able to get on here and write whatever I feel like writing. You don’t like it … don’t read it!

you’re talking about her to anyone that will listen, and you’re not even asking for advice. it doesn’t matter if you’re venting or asking for advice. you should not broadcast your daughters problems. if she ever found out, i’m sure she would hate you for a good couple of years or so. seriously, you need to think about your actions before you do pursue them. that’s all i have to say.

Hey … Bitch on wheels … why don’t you MOVE ALONG. Go back to work. Stop reading my blog if you don’t like it so much.

My daughter just broke up with her loser boyfriend and she’s been updating her status on Facebook about it. Everybody has been sending her words of wisdom, uplifting comments, kudos, and thumbs up. You would think it would be ok for me to do the same, NO.

I realize I am Mom and she doesn’t want to hear from me and that’s fine. BUT, she has to hopefully realize that I’m just trying to support her decision and help her to feel better about it because she has been crying A LOT. She is acting like the world has come to an end because she is no longer with this creep.

The other day somebody texted me something uplifting so I thought I would share it with her. You know … give her something positive to dwell on. So… I forwarded her the uplifting note.

The next thing I know she is calling me telling me she doesn’t want to hear from me about this because she is having a hard time with it and is trying to get over him.

WOW. It’s ok to hear from everybody else about it … but not from Mom. She says it seems like I’m super happy about the breakup (I am) and it shows. (Uh, no … it doesn’t show … I’m just trying to be there for her and support her.)

The conversation went well. I didn’t agree with anything that she said but I told her I would refrain from sending her anything uplifting, posting anything positive on her Facebook page, and that I wouldn’t even thumbs-up anything if that is what she wanted. She thanked me and that was that.

After the phone conversation when I got home later on that night I went through her Facebook page and deleted any comment I ever left her going all the way back to July. I “un-liked” everything that I “liked” and removed myself from having been tagged on pictures. I will give her the space that she wants.

I suppose I need to just pretend that she doesn’t go to college here in town. I’ll pretend that she is in college in another state. When she calls, if it’s important, she can leave a message. Depending on what the message says will be the deciding factor if I call her back or not.

She just needs to be left alone. The only time she ever calls is not really to see what the family is up to and when we can all get together again … but when she wants something. That’s normal. That’s typical. She’s a selfish teenager. You would think I would “get it” by now.

She blew us off on Friday. We were supposed to get flu shots all together, our family at the doc’s office. She’s been knowing about it for a long time. She didn’t return my phone calls or my texts reminding her about this appointment. I let it go. It is what it is. She’s 18 now. She has to figure it out for herself. It’s only her health, right?

Today she called me out of the blue to talk to ME. She asked me what I was doing and then told me that her and her boyfriend broke up. She said that she feels good about it this time. She said it’s different this time. She’s not crying over him or anything like that.

I told her I was relieved that they were broke up and that I hope it sticks this time. I reassured her that it’s ok to be single and that she should take a much needed break from relationships. Besides — he never did give up the alcohol for her like she asked him to when she got out of the hospital. Go figure!?

I asked her what finally made it “click” for her. You know, what made the light bulb go off? She told me she had no idea — she said it just hit her. I immediately thought of my prayer request on this blog. You guys must be praying hard OR God is hearing my prayers and it’s all working out.

I’m glad she figured it out. I hope it sticks this time. She is WAY too co-dependent. I even mentioned that now she doesn’t have to have sex if she doesn’t want to.

It’s not that I don’t want her to have a boyfriend. I want her to be happy but I want her to have some independence. Plus, there are so many nice boys out there that would totally respect her and treat her right. I’m sure there is a good Christian boy out there that would treat her like the princess that she is!

Thank you guys so much for praying for her. I don’t know if you are out there reading but so far — so good. Now we have to pray that it will stick this time.

What a great big ol’ huge relief it is for me knowing that she’s not pregnant! Yay! :]

Yesterday she informed us that she ran out of birthday control pills. She not only ran out of birth control pills but she ran out 4 or 5 days ago. The odd part is that we called over last week to tell her that we just got her meds in the mail. (We get a three month supply at a time) We asked her if we could drop them off to her. She told us not to bother, that she had plenty of pills left, and that she would pick them up when she came to see us this week. I guess she forgot about that.

A little discussion swirled up and both her father and I were quite frustrated by this new piece of information. On top of that she wanted us to give her the entire three month supply. Knowing that she will lose her pills because she has a hard time keeping track of her stuff … I told her Dad to just give her the entire prescription so that she has no excuses. In the back of my mind I’m thinking she will opt not to tell us to refill her scripts because she will forget!

What is she thinking? Doesn’t she know that she can become pregnant if she forgets to take her birth control pills? Sperm can survive inside of her body for, at the most, a whole week! Sperm no nothing more than to fight to get to that egg! They will not stop until they are successful or die, whichever comes first.

I asked her today if they are using condoms. She said that they were but I’m having a hard time believing her. I also reminded her that she needs to abstain until she can get back on track with her pills .. taking them at the same time every single day. I told her to be on the safe side she should hold off on sex for at least 1 complete cycle so she can get her body back on track.

In the meantime … the boyfriend requested to be my friend on Facebook. I accepted his request. Am I crazy?

Apparently she was drinking with her friends and something happened so they broke up. According to her, he broke up because she did something “stupid” while she was drinking.

When she was telling me about it I couldn’t resist, “So… which boy did you kiss?” She was quiet. She said I didn’t kiss another boy but I’ll tell you about it later on this week because it’s a long story.

I try not to give her too much crap because I want her to be able to turn to me for advice. I want her to tell me what is going on. I am worried about her. I’m worried that she’s going to drink and drive. I’m worried that she is going to forget to take her birth control pills. I’m worried she’s going to become pregnant. I’m worried that the alcohol mixing with her antidepressants is going to make her do something stupid. I’m worried about alcohol induced schizophrenia.

She is prone to all these things because alcoholism runs in the ex-dead-beat-sperm-deposit’s family. They are ALL alcoholics. He’s an alcoholic, his mom’s an alcoholic, his step dad is an alcoholic, his brother is an alcoholic, and for all I know his biological father is an alcoholic too.

I want to ask her what happened to the contract that she wrote her boyfriend with the ultimatum to quit drinking or they would have to break up because she can’t be around alcohol. Did she think it was a joke that she had to go to AA meetings? Did she think drinking and driving was fun? Did she get a thrill from having her transportation taken away from her because she can’t be trusted? What in the heck is she doing drinking again?

On top of that her friends think it’s cute to post all the party pictures on Facebook. Do they not realize that this could ruin their future if potential employers find these questionable photos?

I would like to take her and shake her but for the sake of trying to be there for her I am biting my tongue because I want her to tell me what is going on. But yeah, I am worried about her. I’m worried she is going to do something stupid that will affect the rest of her life. I’m worried that she is going to do something stupid that will affect the rest of somebody else’s life. I’m worried that she is going to kill somebody if not herself.

All of this is bad news. Her boyfriend is bad news. Her friends that drink are bad news. If I don’t “blab” it here what else am I supposed to do? Bite my tongue? No, I don’t think so.

Her: Hey sorry Im watching a movie with Dumb-@$$ right now.. But What time did you wanna come over

Her: Did you want Me to come over

Me: Oh… I didn’t realize I was supposed to come over. You know F has school tomorrow so the girls can’t stay up late or anything like that.

Her: I meant What time did you want Me to come over.?

Me: The kids need to be in bed by 8:30 so if you can’t make it by 7:00 let’s try another time because it’s not fair to them.

Her: Ok well i probably won’t be able to come that early. I still have a paper i have to write.. Do you wanna try hanging out tomorow Go to lunch or something

Let me get this straight — she can’t answer her phone because she is watching a movie with Dumb-@$$. She can’t come over because she has to write a paper. Well why on earth is she watching a movie with Dumb-@$$ if she has a paper to write?

You see — she was supposed to come home and spend the night and hang out with her siblings because they miss her and we haven’t seen her in three weeks. Are you starting to see why I’m so pissed off at her?

Me: Let’s get together another time. Tomorrow is not good for me.

Me: since we all have our dental appointment on Tues. why don’t we take you to dinner for your birthday afterward? :-)

Me: Did you get my last text?

Her: Can Dumb-@$$ come with to my birthday dinner?

Me: No.

Me: Did you get my last text?

Me: I don’t understand why your family can not have a private family dinner w/you on your birthday.

Her: Idk.. I want Dumb-@$$ to come.. For my birthday. Be around all the people i love all at once.

Me: Ok well your family would like to see you on your bday.. just you. You are w/Dumb-@$$ 24/7. We do not get to see you at all.

Me: We have our dental appointments that day & then we were thinking of going out to dinner for your bday just us.. you know .. me, your dad, your sisters?

Me: hello?

Her: Fine sorry for asking.. Where are we going?

We don’t want anything to do with Dumb-@$$. I saw his photograph on your FB page and he’s got alcohol as well as his friends holding alcoholic beverages. He’s holding the bottle right up to his mouth as if it were the coolest thing on the face of the Earth.

Uh hello? Do you not remember that you and alcohol do not mix well? Do you not remember the drinking and driving? The confiscation of your car? Do you not remember what landed you in the hospital? Do you not remember why you were in the hospital on the 5th floor for five whole days? Do you not remember the note that you wrote Dumb-@$$ telling him if he didn’t stop drinking then you would have to break up? Do you not remember that he doesn’t respect you and that you are not respecting yourself when you are with him?

I do not care if Dumb-@$$ misses the girls. They do not need to be around him. They do not need to be attached to him. It’s bad enough that their little feelings get hurt every time you make them a promise to do something and then you don’t follow through.

Dumb-@$$ is not welcome in our house. Anybody that is partially responsible for you having been in the hospital, and/or drinks and drives is not welcome in my home. He is not going to change. We don’t want to be around him. I don’t want the girls around him. You shouldn’t be around him. And there is no way in hell I’m celebrating your birthday at a private family dinner with Dumb-@$$. I don’t think so!

I haven’t heard from you in over two weeks. It seems the only time you want to see us is when you have laundry to do. What happened to spending some time with your family? We don’t see you any more. I almost wish you had gone to school out of state so at least there would be better excuses as to why we don’t see you.

You don’t return my text messages. You don’t return my phone calls. You don’t stop by my facebook page any more. You don’t talk to us. I know you are busy but come on..? You have time to watch a movie with “the love of your life” at 1:00 o’clock in the morning but you don’t have time to text me back real quick?

I hope for the sake of the investment that your grandparents have afforded you that you do well in school and you don’t screw it up. It’s important to “get it” when you’re young so you can have it when you’re old. I hope you don’t wind up later on down the road depending on the government for your every need. I hope you are taking personal responsibility for your actions. I also hope you are taking your birth control pills at the same time each and every single day.

Having “the love of your life” spend the night in your dorm room is not cool. You are not respecting yourself. You are not respecting him. He is not respecting you. He is not respecting himself. There is no respect for your room-mates. I hope you are getting along with them because if you’re not, they will wind up turning you in and you might have to find another place to live because you thought it was important to “shack up” with the “love of your life.”

He’s NOT the love of your life. I wish you could see that, comprehend it, and do something about that before it’s too late.