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I can’t figure out who is better, George Hook or Eamon Dunphy. The two titans of Irish broadcasting are currently at each other’s throats and it looks like escalating into a fistfight over the coming weeks.

It’s fair to say that Hook takes no prisoners and is fond of shooting from the hip.

But let’s not forget, Dunphy tends to tell it like it is and more often than not will call a spade a spade. Then again, Hook calls things as he sees them, and is not afraid to give it to us straight, like a pear cider made from 100 per cent pears.

But there’s no getting away from the fact that Dunphy rarely minces his words. He’s a straight talker. But you’d be wrong if you thought that Hook would ever shy away from ruffling a few feathers with his opinions. And I can only assume Dunphy has made a few enemies over the years with that mouth of his.

It’s too close to call.

UK’s Most Borrowed Titles 2010/11

1. The Lost Symbol Dan Brown
2. 61 Hours Lee Child
3. Private James Patterson
4. 9th Judgement James Patterson
5. Worst Case James Patterson
6. Caught Harlan Coben
7. Don’t Blink James Patterson & Howard Roughan
8. The Postcard Killers James Patterson & Lisa Marklund
9. The Complaints Ian Rankin
10. Worth Dying For Lee Child

James Patterson dominates library lending – Guardian

pic Gamma Goblin

I’m reminded of a remarkable pearl of wisdom imparted to me once: ‘‘Tis aysy to write a book these days. You just throw in sex and violence.‘ The person who spoke these wise words? A truck driver. He also said ‘‘Tis aysy to make a song these days. You just sing the same thing over and over again.‘

Alain de Botton is a man who I cannot take seriously. I freely admit that this is because of his head. I have never read anything the man has produced, and know almost nothing about him. However, his skirted egg has actually brought me to anger on one occasion. I cannot believe that someone would maintain such a ridiculous haircut. I have been accused of being baldist before, and perhaps I am. But it’s not just the hair loss, it’s the way he keeps the two flaps of hair at the sides and then complements them with a look so smug, Mark Little, Kevin Myers or Gay Byrne would be impressed.

However, on reading the vilification of the shiny-bonced boffin over in the comments section of this Guardian piece, I almost feel sorry for the academic billiard ball. How could anyone read such horrible comments about themselves and not want to end it all? People should really stop being so vicious and mean. It’s not fair to make fun of someone so viciously behind an online alias. They are just cowards, to be honest.

An investigation is underway after a garda was sent a pig’s head in the post to his home.

The Irish Independent can reveal that the well-respected officer — who is based in Clare — received the severed animal’s head via registered post at his house in recent days.

Garda colleagues and friends of the officer are said to be outraged that he was singled out by an individual in such a manner.
Independent

What’s the point of trying to do something nice nowadays, what with political correctness and that? I sent that pig’s head to the Garda, I was trying to help him out. Gardaí are being forced to retire left, right and center, and pensions have been hit hard. I thought that the man could feed his family for a few days with the head. You can do great things with a pig head. Ungrateful bastard.

Context: For the record, I did not upload this.

I’m trying to think of some new features to do these days. I’ve decided to do a hilarious round up of the weekend’s news! I like to put my own wacky spin on the latest happenings.

I read in the Indo today that the former boss of the ESB, Padraig McManus is getting a severance package worth up to €800,000, as well as being entitled to cut-price electricity. Well to tell you the truth, when I read this story, I got an awful shock!

Also in the Indo, a truck driver sacked for pulling over on the hard shoulder to take a call from motormouth shock jock Gerry Ryan has admitted that he has since prayed to the late Gerry to get his job back! Well, he got the sack for high-jinks on the hard shoulder, but one thing is clear: he certainly got a shoulder in the end! A shoulder out the door! And it was probably a good hard shoulder! I bet he is getting the cold shoulder from his wife for losing his job. And I can’t help wondering whether Gerry Ryan will hear your man’s prayers, I don’t think the Ryan Line is open anymore! Not since he died. Or maybe Gerry will hear the prayers, but just ignore them, as he doesn’t give a truck!

Some lad called Ger Troy was stabbed to death in Limerick lately. I’m not surprised it happened in Limerick, it is called Stab City after all! As for the poor victim, it appears that he Troy-ed his best to stay living, but in the end the injuries were too severe! A man named Sean Flanagan has been in front of Limerick District Court charged with the murder. Well I hope Sean isn’t a keen baker, because if he is found guilty and put in prison, you can bet your bottom dollar he won’t be making a Flan-again any time soon!

That’s all I have read so far. You know what I haven’t eaten in a good while? A Bounty bar. I mean the normal one, not the dark chocolate version.

What is he thinking? Perhaps “Ah here”, “He’s some tulip”, “Will you go ‘way out of it”, “Mudder o’God”, etc., etc.