tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72176510615189713912024-03-14T01:38:06.257-07:00battle of the antsJMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comBlogger316125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-25246221848086677592009-01-31T12:52:00.000-08:002009-01-31T18:57:59.785-08:00am done hereIf you know me, you'll know either where I <em>am</em> blogging, or you'll know how to find me to ask if you're interested.<br /><br /><strong>Edited to add:</strong> or I could just <a href="http://www.academicsandbox.com/blog/">tell you</a>. It wasn't supposed to be a secret or anything.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-17463917407562404332009-01-24T06:24:00.000-08:002009-01-24T08:16:18.528-08:00naked man in laundromat! news at 11!Pullman is a small town—something like 28,000 residents of which 20,000 are students, or something like that. In other words, Pullman isn't San Jose, where there were probably 28,000 people just in my neighborhood. So, when I see a naked man at the laundromat in Pullman, it's Big News or a Curiosity. In San Jose it would just be a case of "get the hell out of dodge because who knows what's going to happen next." <br /><br />In Pullman, my gym is located across the street from a laundromat. All the bikes/elliptical machines/treadmills face the street/laundromat, and both storefronts (gym and laundromat) are all windows. I remember when I first came to Pullman and was at the gym regularly, one fellow who always showed up at the same time as I did (v. early) would put his clothes in the washer, run across the street and do the treadmill for 20 minutes, then run back across the street and put his clothes in the dryer, then run back again and lift weights for 60 minutes until his clothes were dry. I admired his efficiency.<br /><br />Today, I got to the gym at 5:30 and a woman was on the elliptical and as soon as I got inside she said "look at that, isn't that strange?" I thought she was pointing to the TV which was playing some sort of cartoonish music video—I don't know what it was because I don't watch videos or know anything about popular music—but she said "no, across the street." I looked over in time to see a guy in boxer shorts turn over on his side, like he was trying to sleep on the washers. <br /><br />I said, "huh. looks like he's trying to sleep on the washing machine. at least he's clothed." The woman said he had been there at least as long as she had, and previously had been sitting on the washing machine just sort of rocking back and forth. We debated whether to call the cops—more for the guy's own safety than anything else, because we figured there was a good chance he was coming off some bad trip or had vomited all over his clothes and needed to wash them immediately, or...who knows. We didn't call anyone, though, and went back to our workouts.<br /><br />Half an hour later the cops ended up over there—don't know who called or if they were just driving by. Four cops were there, and the guy put his clothes on and left without apparent incident. But four cops! At 6 in the morning! Big news. In a couple days the police activity log will be online and I'll see what the official complaint was, if anything. <br /><br />But yeah, that's what passes for news around here. Then again, I'd rather hear about mostly-naked men in laundromats than the 20% budget cut on campus.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-85810307961730742042009-01-20T07:51:00.001-08:002009-01-20T07:54:02.204-08:00yes I am very happy about the inaugurationI have a lot of blog about. None of it is political. At least not in the whole "someone new is running the country, thank fsm" kind of way. So, it would be kind of dumb to write anything here at this moment, because I run the risk of looking like I'm ignoring the inauguration or am just otherwise clueless. I assure you I am neither.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-12162252298140661962009-01-03T19:02:00.000-08:002009-01-03T19:12:41.678-08:00a couple days late, a couple dollars shortBut...Happy New Year everyone.<br /><br />I am working a lot on work-for-money right now, trying to counteract the naturally light-on-the-billing-hours month of December which was exacerbated by my decision to run off to SF after all. It'll all work out—it always does.<br /><br />I had a really good time at MLA—probably because I wasn't presenting, wasn't interviewing—and at some point I'll write in more detail about why it was a good time. I <em>did</em> spend some chunks of time talking to <a href="http://excelsiorbev.blogspot.com/">Bev</a> (who has a <a href="http://excelsiorbev.blogspot.com/2008/12/nametag-bingo.html">funny post about how we met up</a>) and <a href="http://partsnpieces.typepad.com/blog/">Billie</a>, which was very cool. Except, and this is for Billie, I feel the need to mention very clearly that I am doing a <em>literature</em> PhD and not rhet/comp. :) Although lord knows I love my rhet/comp peeps.<br /><br />Ok, back to work.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-91089550028583863412008-12-31T11:47:00.000-08:002008-12-31T11:53:09.858-08:00well, that was a big lieso you can imagine that dec 23 until now was kind of a blur...from the time grades were turned in until now i've been one big bundle of indecision. for example, i DID go to san francisco, DID go to MLA (had a wonderful time, too), had my birthday dinner with my friends at <a href="http://www.labodeguita.com/">la bodeguita del medio</a> per usual (i'm pretty consistent...i either go there or <a href="http://www.7restaurant.com/">seven</a>), and am now halfway home (i'm in the portland airport). i have a ton of work waiting for me when i get home—for my job, absolutely, but also for my scholarly life. one of these days i'd really like to have one life and not two, but given my conversation with my mortgage company, that ain't gonna happen anytime in the next 3-5 years. oh well. at least i know and can plan. plan to be really freaking busy.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-62388061286485997022008-12-23T08:17:00.000-08:002008-12-23T08:20:59.921-08:00blog exile almost overseminar papers have been turned in, grades for 2 classes have been turned in, grades for 1 class will be turned in today as well as accompanying paperwork and blah blah. am trying to work a lot of hours to make up for the ones I didn't work at the beginning of december. and I am not going to SF/MLA because we have a bazillion inches of snow and who knows if I'd be able to get out or get back in...plus I don't have anyone to check on my cats. so, that trip is out. oh well. more later.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-51771283168047489642008-11-29T07:18:00.000-08:002008-11-29T07:20:58.426-08:00announcement: got posts for the GRADual progress carnival?I will be doing the November round-up (in the next few days...) of posts for the <a href="http://gradualprogress.blogspot.com/">23rd Carnival of GRADual Progress</a>. I have a bunch of things bookmarked, but if anyone wants to suggest things of their own or things they've seen from others, just to ensure that I get them, then please leave them in comments or <a href="mailto:battleoftheants@gmail.com">e-mail me</a>.<br /><br />Thanks!JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-14198771516414793852008-11-25T19:13:00.000-08:002008-11-25T19:23:16.535-08:00two things i realized today1) I am going to be 35 in a month and 5 days. Thirty fucking five. I'm kinda having a hard time with it. It could be because I spend a lot of time with people 10+ years younger than I am and, as much as I adore some of them, it's really difficult for me to communicate in meaningful ways. I need to figure that out or forget about it. But right now I'm just pretty wigged out that I'm going to be 35 in a month and 5 days (yes, my birthday is during MLA, so any of you who will be at MLA on the 30th, come drink cool refreshing beverages with me in a town I know pretty darn well).<br /><br />2) I could sit down right now and write my dissertation prospectus. I really could. That would be great if today was November 25 of <em>2009</em>. If I didn't have two seminar papers to write and ~200 pieces of student work to comment on in some way, I'd probably do it. Maybe over break. <br /><br />It's kind of been a weird day.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-36879209566823724422008-11-21T16:58:00.001-08:002008-11-23T11:40:23.806-08:00go go gadget time machineIt's that time of the semester when grad students everywhere are furiously pulling together seminar papers during that "vacation time" we have around the end of November. At least that's what I'm doing...<br /><br />I'm also grading like a madwoman. I plan to grade through the weekend (it helps that this year's <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Cup">Apple Cup</a> is between the 0-10 UW Huskies and the 1-10 WSU Cougars, hence this year's unofficial name, the "Crapple Cup," and my complete lack of interest in it, which is saying something because I love me some football) and then work like crazy on my seminar papers. I have a draft of one due on the 1st, and a presentation on the other on the 2nd, with the final versions due two weeks hence. <br /><br />I feel a lot better about these things than I did at this time last year. Then again I only have two instead of three and a language exam like last year. Then again, I wasn't teaching three classes last year, so it should be a wash. But whatever...could just be that I've learned some stuff between then and now!<br /><br />It's hard to imagine that I only have two courses left in my PhD program. Seems like only yesterday I was deciding between Davis and WSU, and here I am starting to work on exam lists and a rough idea for a dissertation. That's pretty cool.<br /><br />But before I get too far ahead of myself, I have to finish up these papers...and for that I would really like that magical calendar or time machine or whatever that gives me three or four hours for every actual hour in the day.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-72262803181617464042008-11-11T09:20:00.000-08:002008-11-11T09:28:30.395-08:00two years later, I offer some brief thoughts on a movieLast night we watched <em>The Prestige</em> with our students. When this film came out (two years ago), I wanted to see it. I <em>want</em> to see a lot of movies, but rarely actually do for various and sundry reasons. But in 2006 I wanted to see <em>The Prestige</em> (and <em>The Illusionist</em>) if for no other reason than to continue the conversation that <a href="http://infavorofthinking.blogspot.com/2006/10/prestige.html">Mel started</a>. But I'm not going to do that now (in grading jail).<br /><br />I will say that I feel I stayed reasonably away from spoilers or any discussion of the film that would give away the secrets...and I found it remarkably easy to figure it all out early on. It was still enjoyable, because who doesn't love Batman vs. Wolverine, and I had a good time mock-threatening T with great bodily harm if any small animals were going to be harmed, but for the most part I thought it was pretty meh.<br /><br />Then again, who am I to talk...we're showing <em>Harold and Maude</em> on Thursday and I'm pretty sure I'll have to answer for myself quite a bit with that one.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-86356348816673163082008-11-09T15:42:00.000-08:002008-11-09T15:45:52.540-08:00"I sure hope he doesn't turn out to be some lunatic, because that would really suck"That's what I said on July 28, <strong>2004</strong>, when I said <a href="http://nofancyname.blogspot.com/2004/07/i-would-move-to-illinois.html">I'd move to Illinois just to vote for Barack Obama for the US Senate</a>.<br /><br />/looks around<br /><br />Nope, not a lunatic. And it doesn't suck. <em>I</em>, of course, look like a genius. <br /><br />Ok, granted, thinking "Obama is awesome" after he spoke at the DNC in '04 was not a thought limited to my pea brain, but it still is pretty cool that everything worked out...JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-4024271243549626962008-11-08T09:33:00.000-08:002008-11-08T10:05:12.674-08:00i taught charles chesnutt stories the week an african-american was elected president...and I think that's really cool. <br /><br />True, it would have been cool to teach Chesnutt any week of the year, any year, because I heart Charles Chesnutt. But it was especially fun to discuss his stories the day before, and the day after, Obama became president-elect.<br /><br />I am shadowing Donna Campbell's <a href="http://www.wsu.edu/~campbelld/engl481/sched481f08.htm">ENGL 481: American Lit 1855-1915</a> upper division course. "Shadowing" means we come to the class and watch and learn, and teach a few days if we want (duh! do want!). There are only nine students in the class, which is sad, because it is such an awesome class and the DMC is such a good teacher. <br /><br />Anyway, before the semester began, Dr. Campbell asked which days I'd be interested in teaching, and I said definitely Chesnutt day(s) because I love Chesnutt and the first time I teach literature to upper division students I'd rather it be something I know pretty well and love quite a bit. Right? Luckily she said ok—even though she also loves Chesnutt. I thought that was mighty nice of her. Then it turned out that she had a workshop thing to go to and I would get to teach both days of Chesnutt. Score! <br /><br />I had everything planned out for the first day—I wanted to avoid any sort of issues with time because I had teased Toria about her inability to tell time when she taught the class <em>she</em> was shadowing (she wrapped her class up after precisely 50 minutes...except T/Th classes are 75 minutes long) because payback's a bitch—including meeting up with DMC 20 minutes before class started to make sure my plan was a good one. Except, um, I wasn't 20 minutes early, I was 5 minutes early...just in time to walk to class. That was dumb. But I did my 20 minute intro/ppt stuff, then 25 minutes of discussing the first story ("The Goophered Grapevine"), and then planted my segue to the second story ("Dave's Neckliss") and...crickets.<br /><br />None of them got the handout for the second story. <br /><br />One industrious student looked it up and read it, thank god, so we walked through a summary and talked about stuff anyway. But it was pretty funny. <br /><br />On the second day, everyone who was there had read both stories (or at least faked it really well), and we had a good conversation about "The Wife of His Youth" and "The Passing of Grandison." Everyone seemed to really dig Chesnutt. No one had read him before. Some of them <a href="http://americanliterature1855.blogspot.com/2008/11/charles-chesnutts-passing-of-grandison.html">wrote</a> <a href="http://srzeiner.blogspot.com/2008/11/chesnuuts-nuttiness.html">blog</a> <a href="http://carolyn481.blogspot.com/2008/11/charles-chesnutt.html">posts</a> for class about the stories. That's cool.<br /><br />Earlier in the semester, I mentioned very briefly that these students had <a href="http://battleoftheants.blogspot.com/2008/09/wordle.html">done some cool stuff with Wordle</a>, and it's true—they did. The other two days I that were "my days" were early in the semester, in the computer lab, and it was all about working with the Dickinson and Whitman archives. Over a couple of days, some looked at <a href="http://english481.pbwiki.com/Key+Aspects+of+US+Editions+of+%27Leaves+of+Grass%27">editions of <em>Leaves of Grass</em></a>, or <a href="http://english481.pbwiki.com/Carolyn+Green">just the covers</a>, and then a bunch of people did word clouds—for <a href="http://english481.pbwiki.com/Evan+Hecker"><em>Drum Taps</em></a>, the <a href="http://english481.pbwiki.com/Aubrey+Nilsen">1867 <em>Leaves of Grass</em></a>, the <a href="http://english481.pbwiki.com/Kate+Quinn">deathbed version of "Song of Myself"</a>, and a very interesting one for <a href="http://english481.pbwiki.com/Samantha+Zeiner">Dickinson's 1862 poems</a>. Sometimes the simplest tools are the most helpful for students. That's what I learned pretty quickly about word clouds.<br /><br />Oh wait, this was supposed to be about Chesnutt. Sorry! I just got on an excited little tangent. I'm pretty excitable. I'm also trying to avoid grading papers.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-52360709297232377312008-11-05T09:28:00.000-08:002008-11-05T09:38:52.845-08:00remember, remember the 5th of november<img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 124px; height: 200px; border: 2px solid black" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrfh6RCqA2ME3QuDElbNlKr7cOAbPq3yVxZnr9VeyJ04MzoV8qK4XMGzKzWP31sqUz0Yq18nMaTPUn8JSLQx8-hEs-rwYLmHEm7BoCos1hBKFcZLU0op5GkNpSHx0R8zRrSsq5EeiCC66I/s200/changeposter-so.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265229178618456610" />...for obvious reasons.<br /><br />Tonight we are hosting a showing of <em>V for Vendetta</em> for our students (also for obvious reasons, hence the title of this post). <br /><br />We are very, very happy we don't actually have to go blow shit up afterward.<br clear="all"/>JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-55520190424341497742008-11-04T20:48:00.001-08:002008-11-05T06:27:34.309-08:00there's still work to doSo, it looks like CA prop 8 will pass (and AZ prop 102, and AR initiative 1, and FL amendment 2). <br /><br />While I am <em>thrilled</em>, and I mean thoroughly and utterly thrilled, that Obama won, I am finding it extremely difficult to muster a happy face. I didn't expect that to be the case. <br /><br />It's hard to still be happy when you have actual numbers staring you in the face—numbers of people who specifically do not want you to have something they have.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-49230963141816092212008-11-03T16:45:00.000-08:002008-11-03T16:48:56.614-08:00just sayin'....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKennYkmo7k3PGasZpncFk8XpY7Xfgq4JH7_kmq9se8-B4DPAz_JBYLCql6PUf9C4MFzzwuWggVp9qhVRaqT0nGDMflKLq0VSj1s85gZc4Vhv_Z4d2P0n9iuy7j85FGFdLobMnKw80hGcC/s1600-h/VoteRepublicanNot.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 450px; height: 360px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKennYkmo7k3PGasZpncFk8XpY7Xfgq4JH7_kmq9se8-B4DPAz_JBYLCql6PUf9C4MFzzwuWggVp9qhVRaqT0nGDMflKLq0VSj1s85gZc4Vhv_Z4d2P0n9iuy7j85FGFdLobMnKw80hGcC/s320/VoteRepublicanNot.jpg" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5264597290978010930" /></a><br/><br />I've had this image in my saved mail since 10/22/2004. Figured it was time to bust it out.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-72645825123443403622008-11-02T19:29:00.000-08:002008-11-02T20:06:34.714-08:00lives are hardI have this friend who refers to herself as the manchurian grad student because she is freakishly obedient when told to do something a certain way—usually having to do with the actual mechanical processes of academia and not the <em>content</em> she works with, thank god. I, on the other hand, am almost willfully <em>dis</em>obedient. The quickest way to get me to do something? Tell me to do the <em>opposite</em> of what you want me to do. I swear it's (not always) a conscious effort to be a jerk or anything. I am just not very good at being told what to do. At all. <br /><br />But sometimes I do what I'm told and it works out. For example, the early 2000s were kind of crappy for me. In 2003 I was trying to figure out what the hell I was going to do with my life. Why yes, that <em>was</em> the year I turned 30. Anyway, as you can imagine, conversations between my best friend and myself went something like this (ad infinitum): "What am I doing? This doesn't seem like enough. Is this it? Shouldn't I be doing more?" Ok, that's not so much a conversation as it was the stuff that I was stuck on and would repeat over and over because there was no real answer (because really? What do you say to that?)<br /><br />Finally, one day she sent me an e-mail, and at the beginning it said "I think you should read this email, keep it and refer back to it when needed." I have done that—and it's kind of amazing that I haven't mangled the file in the last five years—and today was one of those days I had to refer back to it, as needed. This is one of the only things I've done because I was told to do it—unlike my manchurian grad student friend.<br /><br />The e-mail has a quotation in it, and it's actually one of those quotations from <em>The Big Book of Quotations for All Times</em> or some such—in other words, not somewhere I'd typically go for some life-affirming piece of text (I usually get those from Emerson). Anyway, we were talking about understanding where and how you fit in the world and just making peace with it. The quotation goes like this: "The purpose of life is not to be happy - but to matter, to be productive, to be useful, to have it make a difference that you lived at all."<br /><br />So that's how I try to live. I don't evaluate happy vs sad or anything like that. At least I try not to. In fact, I pretty much screwed some stuff up recently when I reached a point when I looked around and thought to myself "hey, this makes me <em>happy</em>." What happened next was I realized that I wasn't doing any of the things I needed to be doing to matter, to be productive, to be useful, or to make a difference. I was living for happy and not for useful and productive, and that really screwed me up. <br /><br />I know a lot of people will say something like "um, you have to be happy" and I get that. I'm not saying I want to be <em>un</em>happy or anything. But when "happy" is my main focus, I'm not...rightly oriented, I guess is what I mean. Off-kilter. Screwed up. So I've had to regain my focus, my plans, my productivity, and my path—both in school and in the job I still have to pay for the other life I am not actually living in. I've had to look my friends in the eye and then turn around and walk away, leaving the pure happy on the side and getting back on the track that leads me toward useful and productive. There are some times when I get to do both—be useful and productive and matter to people, <em>and</em> get some happy out of it, but it's really kind of messed up, I get that. <br /><br />I just want to make a difference, I guess. That would be nice.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-61320613370701042512008-10-30T19:15:00.000-07:002008-10-30T19:16:30.119-07:00um, where did october go?Seriously? It was JUST September, right? And now it's the end of week 10 and I somehow missed all of October. Wow.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-78420922386057915572008-10-25T10:16:00.000-07:002008-10-25T10:18:25.214-07:00here's hopin'...<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/nofancyname/2971381069/" title="here's hopin... by jcmeloni, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3150/2971381069_3585f84834_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="here's hopin..." style="border: 1px solid black; margin: 0px 10px 10px 10px" align="left"/></a>I would like this to turn out better than <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/nofancyname/784419/">last time I took a picture of my ballot</a>.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-70239349612640504022008-10-21T07:07:00.000-07:002008-10-21T07:17:01.908-07:00update (with a digression on teaching)My life is work, then more work, then more work. Then a little sleep. <br /><br />Repeat.<br /><br />At some point perhaps I'll talk about all of this work, and maybe the teaching. But right now I have a really large book to finish reading and a class to prep.<br /><br />In other news, let me tell you how awesome this whole "team teaching" thing is. Well, it's not really team teaching in that we are not always in the classroom together and our classes aren't merged except for certain days when we have the one class in the big room together because they're at the same time (or when we have activities like movies in the dorm)...BUT. Although sometimes a little rough around the edges, the days when one of us teaches all the sections usually works out pretty well for the other as far as personal workloads are concerned. Yesterday, I had a plan and (for better or worse) executed the plan such that my teaching partner just had to play the part of scribe. Since she had a lot of other work on her plate, this worked out well. Tomorrow she'll be in charge (for it is Sartre day, and she hearts Sartre), which is good because I have a ton of stuff to do in my seminar on Weds that is of the utmost importance to me. Friday we'll return to our normal positions. On any other day, our coordination happens via email or IM or on the ride up to campus. Thank god we trust each other with this stuff, otherwise it would be a serious clusterfuck. I actually think it's going well. Teaching the freshmen here is very different than the teaching of freshmen that I've done before. There is a significant amount of "herding cats" that happens. It's tiring. Glad I have a buddy to help!JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-11961356983934883772008-10-11T15:17:00.000-07:002008-10-11T15:37:09.879-07:00antsyThat's what I am. What I've always been. And then as soon as I said that (in my head/out my fingers with the typing) I figured I'd better look up "antsy" to make sure I wasn't a total dork who labeled herself incorrectly. I may be a geek, but I try to avoid "dork." Jury's still out on that.<br /><br />So, antsy. Def. 1: "unable to sit or stand still." Totally true. I just spent one of my precious hours driving around. Sure, I was thinking and thinking and thinking, but I was still on the move. Always moving. It's why I don't sleep well. It's why I always sit in the back, never in front of people if I can help it. I'm also kind of shifty-eyed. If I met myself in a dark alley, I'd be afraid of me. If I'm not paying attention and trying not to, it always looks like I'm scowling. Def. 2. "apprehensive or uneasy" I am inherently uneasy. Distrustful. Not fearful, though. Discerning. Or perceptive. I'll buy that. I don't know if it's just my nature, or my time in California, or the nature of academia. Probably a little bit of everything.<br /><br />I thought for a moment that great philosopher (Yoda) could easily have said this about <em>me</em>: "Always looking to the future you are...never looking at where you are...what you are doing." But that's not really true. I'm looking at all three at once, and managing myself and others, and I'm very tired. But I'm happy enough. Just sometimes I wish I could legitimately need to be supported instead of being the supporter or the manager or the problem solver. Instead I just get antsy. I drive around, figure my own shit out. Return to help others. Continue. I have everything planned, and nothing. It's tiring.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-49596355391076825922008-10-09T08:48:00.000-07:002008-10-09T09:04:23.972-07:00WSJ: "Housing Pain Gauge: Nearly 1 in 6 Owners 'Under Water'"According to <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB122341352084512611.html">a recent article in the <em>Wall Street Journal</em></a> (thanks, <a href="http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/2008/10/house-hunt-update.html">BitchPhd</a>), 16% of U.S. homeowners owe more on a mortgage than the home is worth.<br /><br />I am totally one of those people. <br /><br />However, with the combination of my TA stipend, book royalties, my happy-to-have-still-have-it job with my company in California, and rental income from the lovely tenant in said home, I am able just about to break even each month—or only get myself a couple hundred bucks in the hole. I consider that a win. <br /><br />Just for the sake of presenting some real life numbers, here's my particular part of the housing crisis story.<br /><br />* Bought my condo in San Jose, CA in April 2002 for 205K. My mortgage was for 211K because I had no money to put down. Yes, I was <em>one of those people</em>.<br />* In 2004 I refinanced to get a slightly lower interest rate and also to move around some debt. The new mortgage was for 250K, basically.<br />* By late 2006, condos in my complex/zip code were selling around 300-325K. I thought I was in a good position to be able to sell it when I came up to Pullman in Summer 2007.<br />* Between Feb 2007 and January 2008, exactly two condos sold in my complex/zip code, and they were short sales for something like 250K. The entire market froze.<br />* I got a renter. My renter pays 40% of my monthly mortgage + HOA dues. <br />* I pay property taxes in the amount of 2900/yr. The value of my property according to Santa Clara County is 233K. <br />* Listings in my complex/zip code have condos like mine going for 185-195K, which is 10K less than I paid <em>six years ago</em> and 125K less than some condos sold for just eighteen months ago.<br />* I owe 243K.<br /><br />I can make the payments, now. I can write off some of the loss on my taxes. What I can't do is refinance because technically now it's a rental property and the LTV is all messed up. Thankfully I am in a better position than many many many people in similar "under water" situations. But it's still painful.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-54900560787791686512008-09-25T19:05:00.000-07:002008-09-25T19:24:20.455-07:00yes. i am an academic.Often, I think a post and a comment thread from <em>years</em> ago (it's <a href="http://ghw.wordherders.net/archives/002332.html">here if you're interested</a>) in which George Williams included my old blog in a list of academic blogs. I wrote about that <a href="http://nofancyname.blogspot.com/2004/10/im-not-academic-but-i-play-one-in.html">here</a>, in 2004, and it's really interesting to go back and read that now (ok, maybe just to me). Back then I was not an academic. I was just, as I said, "a geek who blogs, and I happen to go to school." I wasn't even doing my MA in English—I was still in B-school mode. <a href="http://bitchphd.blogspot.com/">Bitch PhD</a> commented that her blog was "Scholarship plus crazy personal shit plus bitching" and George piped up with "Right. That's what I said: Academic Blogging."<br /><br />That moment was probably one of those "had to be there" moments, but it has <em>always</em> stuck with me. Academics read a lot. They bitch. They have lives. <br /><br />Today I had the feeling that I've really <em>arrived</em> as a professional in this field (ok, still a grad student, but whatever. I get paid.). No, I wasn't notified of an award or a publication, and no, a student did not come to me after class and tell me how I changed his or her life for the better. <br /><br />Instead, like every day this week (and last week, and the week before that, and the week before that, and oh yeah, the week before that and finally, yes, the week before that) I arrived on campus with coffee in hand before 7:30, had several meetings in a row, taught class, sat in class, had more meetings, was too stupid to eat, and got home around 6pm....AND DID NOT GET ONE SHRED OF MY OWN WORK DONE.<br /><br />So there. That is the definition of an academic. I have arrived.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-66435618990746438682008-09-13T07:31:00.000-07:002008-09-13T19:17:16.466-07:00no one told me about this in teacher schoolThat's what I said to one of my classes the other day. "No one told me about this in teacher school." They laughed. They understood.<br /><br />Let me tell you a little story. Then tell me <em>your</em> story, about something "they" didn't tell <em>you</em> in teacher school.<br /><br />The plan for the class [one of my 101 sections:—introductory writing, all brand-new freshmen] was to do a practice peer review in preparation for workshopping their own papers during the next class meeting. We took the time to read a sample essay, then they marked areas they liked, areas of confusion, areas they'd change if it were their paper, and mechanical stuff. Then we were going to get into small groups and discuss common things, and report back to the class. Your standard thing, right? Right.<br /><br />Except.<br /><br />[I should pause now and note that I do indeed love my students, despite their occasional chuckleheadedness, and they know that. They also know I'm telling this story.]<br /><br />One student got a phone call in class. Yes, that's bad enough. I count it as a win that she got up to take the call out in the hall rather than actually in class. We all continued working in our small groups, and were just starting the "report back to the class" phase, with approximately 10 minutes remaining in the class period. One fellow started to say something interesting and smart, and the student who had been outside the class burst back into the classroom and announced to everyone....<br /><br />"I just dropped my phone in the toilet!"<br /><br />We all stopped, looked at her, burst out laughing, students looked at me for direction—for which I had none—and <em>then</em> she said...<br /><br />"And I had to reach into my pee to get it!"<br /><br />How to deal with that, folks, is something you don't learn in teacher school.<br /><br />I'm not sure I moved from my spot. I certainly didn't say anything, because the things going through my head weren't appropriate or even really fully formed. The student sat down, said "What do I do?" and, when I was about ready to say "I have no idea, but you can figure it out after class" another student turned to her and said "Oh, see, what you do first is take out your SIM card, then let the phone dry in the sun, then clean it with a qtip and rubbing alcohol and..." <br /><br />To which I said, "you've done this too??" Several students have done the same thing. Amazing.<br /><br />Anyway, the class is still in various stages of incredulity and laughter. One student finally just looked at me and said "how do we continue on after that?" <br /><br />I said, "yeah, when I figure that out, I'll let you know..."<br /><br />We managed to get class back on track long enough to wrap up and dismiss until next time. One student now has the unfortunate nickname (and this has made it through their dorm) of "pee phone". And me? I'm pretty sure I'm on Candid Camera every single day in that class.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-34696267751648128692008-09-11T17:30:00.001-07:002008-09-11T17:31:49.057-07:00wordleToday, several undergrads in a class I'm shadowing did cool things with <a href="http://www.wordle.net">Wordle</a> and the poetry of Whitman and Dickinson. <br /><br />If I get a moment to crawl out from the rock I'm under, I'll write about it. But it was really wonderful.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7217651061518971391.post-61347504703218569202008-09-10T08:51:00.000-07:002008-09-10T08:52:53.781-07:00thanks everyone......for all the nice words about Max. Luckily (I guess?) I've been so freaking busy that I haven't had time to really decompress and deal with it, but hey, that's what the weekend is for I suppose.<br /><br />thanks again.JMhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04138401393364371648noreply@blogger.com