There’s nothing like working from your own home

• There’s no commute traffic save teenagers jockeying for bathroom rights
• You can wear what you like
• You set your own hours
• Define your own deliverables

At first, it seems ideal. And don’t get me wrong, working from home is the best gig I’ve ever encountered. But it’s not all attention to detail and mega-productivity (my version of peaches and cream).

Working from home can be problematic in ways that you might not expect when you’re first thinking about making the transition from working for someone else to working from home.

The distraction of the familiar

This is something that most first-time home-workers encounter right away. At first it seems like it’s heaven; you can make decent coffee any time you wish, and you do. You can play your Michael Bublé CD’s without anyone being the wiser. You’re free to make personal calls to your mother or best friend.

But these freedoms, as great as they can be at times, can also be counterproductive to performing your MMW. The familiar can be a  constant distraction when you’re working from home. And there are reasons…

You suddenly find that your primary workspace, which at your day job has been for work only, now shares its function with family and domestic functions.

This sharing of functions brings new realities and distractions. Now, in the middle of your workday you are suddenly aware that you need to finish the dishes from last night or dust the living room because unless you do you’ll never get anything done.

If this obstacle isn’t addressed, your productivity will suffer. I recall when Justin and I first moved from San Jose to the beach in Rio Del Mar about 7 years ago. My primary workspace faced a large window from which I could see the ocean.

At first it was ideal. But soon the allure of the Pacific got the best of me and I was stealing down to the beach to walk in the surf, even take surfing lessons (which, in retrospect, isn’t something I’d recommend at age 50-ish).

Ironically, we now live 2 blocks from the ocean and apart from walking our dog daily along the beachfront, we rarely actually ‘go to the beach.’ It’s just as well, as now it’s no longer a distraction.

Solutions for the Distraction of the Familiar

Create a dedicated workspace within your home – Unless you live alone or there is no one home during your normal work hours, you definitely need a room with a door. The door not only keeps distraction and visitors at bay, but it also keeps your work and private lives separate.

It’s pretty common for home-based workers to pass by their open office and be reminded of a pressing deadline. This leads to perhaps checking email or working on a report for fifteen minutes after dinner and before you know it, your family members are feeling ignored because you appear to be working day and night.

Conversely, an open door to your office is an invitation to come in for a chat.

A door helps prevent both scenarios.

Experiment with shared work spaces and cafes – Your local Starbucks might not be ideal for a second office, but shared work spaces where you share an office environment with other like-minded independent workers pursuing their MMW might suit your needs.

A recent article in The Seattle Times business section put it this way:

It turns out that no matter the marvels of mobile phones, the fabulousness of Facebook or the wonders of the webinar, many human beings need to be around other human beings to feel truly productive.

We need each other for ideas, encouragement, conversation and the occasional good-natured razzing. It’s why we work. OK, money is why we work. But it’s why we can enjoy coming to work.

You may need to be around others to make your MMW not feel so much like a vacation and shared work spaces or even a quiet coffee shop can serve that purpose quite nicely. It’s important to plan your work day when using shared work spaces because the camaraderie can easily lead to socializing instead of getting your work done.

The ultimate solution might be a hybrid mix

 The combination of home office – shared workspace – This closest to what most SOHO business owners and home workers do. There are limitations to your home office that often center around technology can be found easily in a shared work-environment. But there are times when you really need to get something out to a client and a cold keeps you home.

The key to making a home-based working environment work is to keep it home-based but not home-centered. A healthy balance of both inside and outside the home office work space keeps it interesting, allows you to meet new people, and keeps the private things private.

What works for me

Here’s my version of the perfect schedule that included both home office and shared workspace.

Monday, Wednesday & Friday

• I work from home (writing projects) (9a – 11:30a)
• I swim at a local lap pool followed by lunch (noon-1:30p)
• I relax, read,  and engage in social media from a cafe or coffee shop (2p – 3:3op)
• Home by 4p to interact with my son, help with homework, and prepare dinner

Tuesday & Thursday

• Coach clients from home via phone of Skype 9a – 11:30a
• Break for lunch and errands, walk with dog (noon – 1:30p)
• Writing projects from home (2p – 4p)

What works for you?

Do you have a favorite way to spend your day? Does it involve the isolation of working solo or is it a combination of solo-time and time spent with other independent workers? Leave a comment and tell me if you feel like sharing.

A Tale of Two Individuals Who Likely Never Found Their MMW

Discovering your most meaningful work (MMW) might not be the easiest task, but it is the most important. Realizing your MMW is the single most beneficial thing you can do for yourself and for your family. Doing so could possibly save you from both poverty and homelessness. More on that later.

The following stories are real. Both of the individuals are actual people in my experience and both were unaware that I was observing them. I think about them often when working with clients and writing about the importance of engaging in the work that nourishes the soul.

The Woman Washing Windows in a Casino in Reno, Nevada

Photo Credit: gaspi *yg via Compfight

I used to travel quite frequently on business. For a while I was flying back and forth to Reno, Nevada and I usually stayed nights in the same large casino/hotel complex. After a particularly long day, I’d usually pop down to the wine bar and then get a table in one of the restaurants for dinner.

After dinner, I’d wander through the casino and observe people passing by and those gambling.  Personally, gambling doesn’t hold an attraction but I do like watching others get caught up in the process.

The old woman caught my eye one night as she struggled to push the heavy cart in front of her. It was loaded with cleaning supplies, brooms, and vacuum cleaner. She walked along the perimeter of the main gambling hall with a slight limp and seemed to be supporting herself using the supply cart as a crutch.

Observing her gait and overall appearance, I assessed her age at around 70. She appeared younger than my 78 year-old mother, but not by much.

I observed her performing the same duties each evening. Her job in this area of the casino was to clean the door panes of each entrance and exit point.  This included two revolving doors with four blade-panes each. It took her about 30 minutes to clean each revolving door as she was forced to pause and allow casino patrons access every few minutes.

Because this was in Reno, the casinos never close, and the woman was working what I assumed might have been the swing shift (3p – midnight) or something similar to it. Having worked that shift before, I know it completely reorders your life. You have to squeeze normal living into morning hours and your social engagements literally die on the vine.

Each night I observed her, she performed her duties in the same order and in the same manner.  Her gait was unaltered from night to night and she never smiled. I couldn’t help wonder what choices she made that resulted in her working the swing shift in a casino at age 70. I doubted it was her most meaningful work.

Being aged and homeless is a combination I’ve seen up close. In my medical career I had many homeless patients; I’ve seen the ravages of both poverty and homelessness up close. Homelessness and poverty are tragic existences.

The Old Man and the Shopping Cart

Photo Credit: Thomas Leuthard via Compfight

His name might be Santiago, but I doubt it.

He is know around here as the old man who walks 10 miles a day pulling a shopping cart. I know nothing more about him. What I do know is that he appears to be in his late 70s. He walks a route of approximately 10 miles each weekday pulling a beat up shopping cart from an anonymous grocery store.

I have seen him in various locations in the area where I live at least five miles apart. He gathers aluminum cans from trash bins and dumpsters. I can only imagine, judging from his appearance, that his poor. Me may be homeless as well, but I don’t know that for certain.

What I do know is that he is aged, a little bent over in the upper body and he wears a big hat with a wide brim to keep the sun off of his face. I know that he is most likely poor and not filling his days with his MMW. I could be wrong, but I’d bet walking 10 miles a day pulling a dilapidated shopping cart behind him isn’t what he’s genetically programmed to do.

I doubt that this leaves him feeling purposeful, in-the-zone, or in flow. No, I suspect this gentleman is quite poor and fills his day with can-seeking activity because he needs the money to survive.

Is this your future?

It doesn’t have to be. You don’t have to merely survive your twilight years, but thrive within them.

By identifying your MMW and making time to devote yourself to it, you can engage in life in a way that creates enjoyment, income, hope, and possibly wealth…not to mention purpose and happiness.

Pursuing your life’s purpose, filling your days with activities that surround your MMW, creates a prosperous and meaningful life. It could very well be the cure for both poverty and homelessness.

I am not naive as to think I have the definitive cure either of these two pandemics, but I do believe that if taken seriously,  your quest to follow your MMW will keep you from ever experiencing these tragic circumstances.

I’m more introverted than extroverted.

I know this (not only because every personality indicator I’ve ever taken has characterized me as one) but because as an introvert, I have a very low tolerance for stimulation in the social setting. A two-day trip with friends exhausts me and I need a day of solitude to recover.

Whereas some of my friends need to be out and about more than they need their quiet time, I thrive on the solitude that accompanies my area of most meaningful work.

This is one of the reasons why my MMW evolved from being the center of attention in a healing environment to being a writer who works in solitude. Of course I also work periodically one-on-one with people but even this is in a largely remote manner over the Internet. Still, for me it works.

In between these two extremes of healer and writer, I held positions in higher education that involved lecturing -an activity that involved a lot of extroverted activity- balanced by the solitary time required for researching lectures and writing. Ultimately I entered management positions that only required periodic lecturing and more solitary tie for writing pursuits. It was an evolution of sorts.

As my introverted nature evolved, so did my MMW.

In today’s framework of open-offices and group-think classrooms, individuality is increasingly being sidelined in favor of enforced teamwork. But this can not only stifle creativity, but it can bring about fewer ideas.

If your current work is one where you are not allowed to express your introverted nature or, for that matter, your natural extroverted nature, it’s not the right fit for you in the long term.

Your MMW demands that you be true to your nature, wherever that lies on the I/E scale.

Want to learn where you stand?

Click here to take Susan Cain’s Quiet Test (it’s free). The results might indicate whether you’re in the right environment based on your I/E ratio.

Current work is that work that you’re in engaged in now that isn’t your most meaningful work (MMW). It might be your day job or the side job. Whatever form it occupies, it’s draining the energy you need to engage in your MMW.

The types of work we encounter most

Work is a means to an end in that it enables us to meet basic needs related to physiologic survival and safety.

• Current Work is that which you may already be engaged in, but you know it isn’t your MMW.
• Meaningful Work allows us to meet the higher level of human needs:  esteem, love and belonging.
• Most Meaningful Work is totally different. It’s work that magnifies our ability to meet and surpass these lower level  needs but also allows us to achieve the highest human need of self-actualization or reaching our fullest potential.

Current work has no real value in our lives save the money it brings in. It’s the job we keep because we’re convinced it’s safe. Even though we know that layoff can occur without warning and wipe out all elements of security, we cling to this idea anyway.

But the most harmful aspect of clinging to current work isn’t the security issue, it’s how it drains energy, enthusiasm, and excitement from our commitment to engaging in our MMW.

Current work sucks the energy out our creative spirit faster and with more force than a Dyson vacuum.

Current work is draining because it doesn’t allow you the time nor the proper mindset for engaging in your MMW.  Your MMW demands all of you, without distraction or discontent.

Feeling discontent after spending a day being engaged by current work doesn’t leave you anything to bring to your MMW. I know because I’ve been there. I was there for years, decades…I’ll stop there.

Discontent breeds doubt and doubt begins to eat away and anything it sees. It’s like a cancer cell that it invades a healthy cell, depletes it of its healthy components, then infects it and now the formerly healthy cell is also malignant.

Current work breeds discontent. Discontent breeds doubt. Doubt ravages the energy you have left for your MMW.

The cure is obvious, but complicated

You’ve heard the old joke: A guy walks into his doctor’s office and tells him, “Hey Doc, when I do this it hurts.” The doctor replies, “Then don’t do that.”

But we know it isn’t this easy. Breaking free of our current work for most of us means quitting. And we can’t do that because we have others who depend on us, whose livelihood depends on us repeating our daily engagement with current work.

There seems no way out. But that’s not altogether true.

Using ‘The Work’ to examine our false belief around current work

Byron Katie created a series of four questions that she (yes, Byron is a she) uses in a practice she calls, Inquiry. In her phenomenal book, Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life, Katie asks 4 questions around a belief. They are:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you be absolutely positive that it is true?
3. How do you react when you think this thought?
4. Who would you be without this thought?

Then she turns it around.

Let’s inquire into the belief/assumption/thought that you can’t break free of your current work.

Is it true?

 You: On first glance, yes, it’s true.  I can’t break free of my current work.

Can you be absolutely positive that it is true?

You: Well, I guess there could be circumstances wherein it wouldn’t be true. If I came into some money that would allow me to save a few month’s worth of expenses, then I guess it wouldn’t be true.

How do you react (physically) when you think this thought?

You: When I think about not being able to leave my current work to pursue my MMW, I feel depressed and sad, like  a dream I’ve cherished will never be realized. Then my stomach hurts a bit and I sigh a lot. I may get a headache and take something for it.

Who would you be without this thought?

You: I’d be happy, elated actually, that I would now be free to pursue my MMW. I’d be positive and my stomach wouldn’t hurt. I wouldn’t be sighing all the time and I’d be taking less medication.

Now turn the original statement around: Instead of ‘I can’t break free of my current work….’, try

1. I can break free of my current work.  (or)
   
2. My current work can break free of me.

How do these feel?

Are these turned around thoughts truer than your original thought?

(Your response goes here)

Where to go from here

Using ‘Inquiry’ as we just did on this false belief exposes the paralyzing power of our fears around leaving our current work and shines a light on how our MMW is suffering as a result. Our current work not only drains us of precious energy we’d rather devote to our MMW, it poisons our thinking until it becomes habit.

Here are my recommendations for going forward.

1. Read the book

I’d recommend you pick u a copy of Katie’s book and see how you can use it on other fears around leaving your current work. Check it out from your library or purchase a copy on Amazon.com. My copy is from my pre-Kindle days.

2. Use Inquiry on any other fears 

We all harbor lots of false beliefs and unrealistic fears. Using this practice you can confront them in a non-threatening manner and see where you stand. Facing an issue head on is the only way to deal with it. Without it, it remains between you and your goal.

3. Talk to me

If you need to talk further about this, shoot me an email and ask me a question. I’d be happy to respond. You can do so by clicking here.

If you’ve never experienced bliss, you can’t know what it’s like.

If you’ve never had Italian espresso, you can’t describe the exquisite nature of the bittersweet taste or understand the mental lift jolt that precedes the patina a sweat that break out on your forehead.

Just like when your daughter calls you Daddy for the first time, or even right before you walk her down the aisle at her wedding, some things can’t be adequately described if you haven’t experienced them.

As I write about in my free Special Report: 7 Signs You’re Not Engaged in Your Most Meaningful Work, we know in our heart when we’re engaged in the work that nourishes our being, our spirit, our soul -if that doesn’t sound too woo-woo.

My most meaningful work (MMW) is exploring True Independence by helping others discover their MMW.

When I’m engaged in any facet of this work-of-the-soul, I am at total peace. I am nourished not only by the activities themselves, but by the knowledge that what I’m doing has the goal of helping others come through the same dark times I spent so many years navigating.

When I outline and write posts like this, when I partner with clients and help them discover their MMW, when I facilitate small group discussions around finding purpose and direction, it’s as if I’m listening to movements within the symphony of my MMW.

When I’m engaged in my MMW, nothing else exists. The world ceases to be, time stops and is no longer measurable. I lose track of everything around me and I focus only on what’s in front of me. I experience flow and become one with the activity at hand.

It’s like mindfulness on steroids.

That’s the best I can do to describe what if feels like when I’m engaged in my MMW.

Have you experienced work like this?

If not, consider partnering with me to discover your most meaningful work and how to go about engaging it full time.  If you’re not a subscriber yet, consider becoming one and you’ll receive my free Special Report that will help you access your MMW.

Identifying your most meaningful work (MMW) is crucial to achieving True Independence. In order to be truly at peace in your life, your profession has to involve what you’re passionate about, knowledgeable of, and can translate into an income stream.

Anything less than your MMW is a waste of time

We routinely run away from what we want the most. Instead of fully engaging in and relentlessly pursuing what we what, the vast majority of us do the opposite. We run away from our most meaningful work.

We do this because meaningful work is often:

• Not perceived popularly by family and friends
• Doesn’t involve a clear career path
• Quite literally, scares the crap out of us

Why I ran away

I ran away from what I knew to be my most meaningful work.  I buried myself in an eight year academic and clinical program in order to deny my own most meaningful work.

For years I knew my MMW involved writing and serving others. But as a young adult in the 70′s I had no idea how to translate that into a career choice. Admitting you wanted to be a writer, author, and speaker wasn’t a popular goal to express back then.

I had no idea how to translate what I knew was my mission, my calling if you will, into a viable career. So I ran away from it. I completed an eight-year academic and clinical program that gave me a world-class medical and academic education, but did little to negate the reality that I was first and foremost a meaning-maker.

We run away from our MMW because of many factors both common and individual. Some run because of cultural or economic issues while others avoid pursuing their MMW due to perceived reactions from family and friends.

There is also the argument that we run from what we want because we are afraid to succeed.

Since many times our MMW doesn’t involve a clear career path, we often shun the exploration and personal inventories (soul searching) necessary to pursue it. Only later in life do some of us surrender after waging war with our heart for decades.

Your MMW Matters More than Anything Else

This a bold statement that seems to contradict issues like family should come first, etc. But hear me out.

Unless you are engaged in your most meaningful work, the work of the heart, your sacred-calling, you will never be free nor will you ever achieve True Independence.

My own life bears this out as does hundreds of others. This doesn’t mean you have to quit your job, start a business, or work in the third world. It simply means acting on what you know is your mission to the world.  And it’s more often the hardest thing you will ever do.

Your MMW should never be accompanied by an apology

When you know your mission in life, your sacred-calling, your MMW…you are never apologetic.  You don’t feel the need to make excuses or rationalize why you choose this work. If you are, it means either you haven’t really identified the depth of your MMW, or you perceive it as too great a risk to pursue.

All three of my older children have pursued their MMW. My daughter is a full-time mother raising two of my granddaughters in North Pole, Alaska where her husband serves as an officer in the US Air Force. My oldest son recently secured his first career position as a mechanical engineer in San Francisco. Another completed a degree in criminal justice and is now following his calling into the ministry and attending a protestant seminary.

If you ask each what their MMW is, they’d tell you they are engaged in it. Each is secure in knowing their MMW is in front of them each and every day. There is nothing else they’d rather be doing.

They are not apologetic and that (I am proud to say) is one of the key indicators each is achieving True Independence.

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Do you need help discovering and pursuing your MMW? Are you ready to engage in your pursuit of True Independence? Click here to learn about how I can help you embrace the freedom to choose the freedom to pursue your most meaningful work.

Let’s throw a party in honor of you being YOU!

The first step toward being Truly Independent is to celebrate who you are. You are a unique, creative, and exciting individual (even if the corporate world has made you feel like a limp dish rag).

Underneath that hardened, burned-out exterior is the vibrant free spirit that you embodied throughout your childhood.

Think about your children, grandchildren, or just neighbor kids playing in the park. Ever notice how they run, frolic, play tag, occasionally whine, and just plain celebrate being at the park? That’s what our lives should be like every day.

When we live in the moment and realize that this moment is we have, life can become a celebration. And the star of your life is YOU. Isn’t it time you stamped your forehead with a big, red ‘APPROVED!’ on it?

But wait, Barry…I’m a 54 year old man who’s just been kicked to the street by my employer…you want me to celebrate who I am?

Um, yep! 

I mean, what’s the alternative? Being grumpy? Who needs that? I spent too many years being grumpy and I can tell you it’s not the best way to win friends and influence people.

If you really want to experience True Independence, you’ve got to do this. Without a change in attitude toward who you are deep inside, you’ll never be free.

Why it’s important to celebrate the wonderfulness of YOU

It’s easy to celebrate the good fortunes that come our way. We don’t need an excuse to be up, positive, outgoing (even for an introvert like me).

But when circumstances shift and life keeps lifing, we’re equally quick to respond with negative attitudes and frowns that produce deep furrows in our foreheads.

Here’s a reality about True Independence…

It demands that we celebrate at all times.Not only during the good times, but during the not-so-good as well…especially the not-so-good times.

The power of positive attitude will blow away the power of the anything less. It’s more powerful than the most righteous anger or the greatest degree of perceived offense.

We always have these two choices

1. Be positive
2. Be negative

Choose to be positive and celebrate your uniqueness and you’ll be on your way toward achieving True Independence.

When you decide that seeking True Independence is a worthwhile pursuit, it starts as a secret. It’s the kind of secret you admit only to yourself in solitude.

But it doesn’t stay secret for long.

Soon everyone you know gets that there is something different about you.

• Your boss at your day job suddenly find your public blog and mentions it in a conversation
• Coworkers who still drink the corporate Kool-Aid regard you as a traitor (even some you thought were friends)
• Your waning loyalty and dedication to the company becomes a professional liability

All of these have happened to me. That’s because…

Meaningful quests rarely stay secret

When your secret is the quest for True Independence, you will find few friends in your normal life. Those around you, when they learn of your goals and dreams, will immediately try to dissuade you.

Family and friends will be disappointed. But it has little to do with you and everything to do with them and the perceived threat to the status quo upon which they’ve become totally dependent.

That’s because the false hallmarks of those in employment (safety, security, benefits, regular paychecks) are suddenly exposed. Even if you don’t say anything to anyone about your quest, they will know.

Once a candle is lit, the flame cannot be kept in secret.

Chalk it up to the laws of particle physics if you like. When light shines, it refuses to be contained. If your quest for True Independence is real, you will give off the light of hope like a candle in a darkened room.

When your quest becomes public

There are several ways to deal with this. I’ve begun dealing with them in my own quest. These come from my own experience.

1. Acknowledge it. It’s out there. Whether your boss mentions your blog, a coworker gossips about your plans, or your commitment is publicly questioned, simply acknowledging it is the best way to honor it. If you deny if out of fear of retribution you will distance yourself from your quest and it will become less real.

2. Turn the questions around. You will likely be asked several questions about your quest such as:

• Aren’t you happy here at Status Quo, Inc?
  
• What’s wrong with you?
  
• Why would you risk everything to seek something as nebulous as freedom when there are no safeguards?

They will ask. When they do, turn around the questions:

• Are you truly happy at SQI?
• What’s wrong with you that my quest for happiness seems so foreign?
• What’s so safe about at-will employment and paying more for a shrinking benefit package?

The benefits of having your quest outed

The concept of being outed has it’s roots in the gay/lesbian/transgender population. Most would agree that coming out should always be left to the individual, but not everyone will abide by this when it comes to feeling threatened by who you are and what you represent.

Similar to anything that is a perceived threat to the status quo, your quest for True Independence will be perceived as a threat and most like treat like one as well. This could be a good thing if you’re ready to hit the road. But if you’re not, then there are some potential mine fields to navigate.

Nevertheless, there are some potential benefits to having your quest for True Independence made public:

1. Openness and honesty prevail. It’s always best to have everything in the open. That way, if clearer heads exist, you can engage in mature conversations about your desire for changing your life.
2. False assumptions can be corrected. Many will spin wild yarns about your reasons for wanting something more. Again, this is based on their comfort being threatened. You and I know this is daft, but it is what it is. You will now have opportunities to speak about why True Independence is important to you. Who knows, you may find some closeted converts amongst the rank and file.
3. It may translate into a better situation. Your employer might be so concerned about losing you they might ask how they can provide you with more independence? If your main thrust to leave your job is that telecommuting opportunities haven’t been available, perhaps it could be open to discussion now. Hey, weirder things have happened.
4. Your stress level decreases. I know this to be true. Once I knew my employer was aware of my quest, I could relax. I’m not changing direction, just more relaxed while I plot my exit. (Oops, did I type that out loud?)

The clock is ticking

The only potential downside to having your quest for True Independence outed is that your time frame from leaving kicks in at full-speed. You’ve got to ramp up your plans to identify, set up, and transition into your new independent lifestyle.

Whatever that is for you, don’t waste time. Begin taking courses, starting writing your eBook or eCourse. Whatever form your quest for True Independence takes, the time is now to get busy and make headway.

photo: Jason Burmeister

I read those words in Ev Bogue’s re-release of Minimalist Business and they stopped me in my tracks as it were.

I looked up from my Kindle and stared at the wall. It was as if I’d discovered the most basic truth of all about myself. Those three words summed up every moment of my more than 30 years spent working for someone else.

For 30+ years I’ve been unemployable

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve held jobs where I performed well, made a lot of money, and held positions of responsibility within Fortune 500 companies, small private firms, and mid-sized corporations.

But that doesn’t mean I didn’t hate every minute of it.

Hate is a strong word and I don’t mean it in the way that invokes true hatred and violence. Instead, I mean that each day I commuted to and from work, my stomach churned.

• On the way into the office/clinic/school, I wondered why I was doing what I was doing
• On the way home I wondered if I really was being true to myself by working that job

A square peg in a round hole

That’s what it always felt like. I wasn’t congruent with any of the jobs I held because deep within I knew I was pretending. Pretending about wanting to work there; pretending about wanting to progress in the firm; pretending I was employable.

That’s how it is with other people who are self-employed. They are so because they don’t fit into the same model as everyone else. There’s nothing wrong with being self-employed just as there is nothing wrong with working a job.

Just as people are wired differently when it comes to athletic and musical ability, people differ in their ability to generate contentment working for a company versus working for themselves.

Self-employment is largely a matter of self-expression

“For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve never been a nine-to-five guy; you’ve always wanted to do your own thing.”

A long-time friend stated those words to me a little over a year ago. She knows I am unemployable. She understands that being a cog in a machine where all the cogs interconnect and turn as one just isn’t where I find fulfillment.

I find my ultimate fulfillment in creating the machine.

But some say:

• You need to spend time as a cog to get to know the business world
• Being a cog is important and there’s nothing wrong with being one
• Do you think you’re better than your fellow cogs?
• Designing the machine is risky
• You’re better off with the safety of being a cog

This is crazy-talk for those like me.

There is nothing safe about being a cog

In California where I live, employment is at-will. That means that either party, employer or employee, can sever the relationship at any time for any reason, with or without warning.

I fail to find any safety in a situation where an employer can terminate me for no reason at any time.

There are those who will counter that if you keep your head down, do your work, and don’t cause any trouble, you’ll be safe. This sounds more like advice you’d give to an inmate rather than an employee.

Yet this is how most career-cogs think. They think that there is safety in numbers. But there is no safety in numbers. The company that pays my father’s pension that he earned after working 40 consecutive years could decide tomorrow to discontinue his pension payments.

There is no safety in that situation.

For me, being a cog is like a ‘wheel out of kilter’

I find great parallels between the machine-cog model of employment and Buddhism.

In Buddhism the first noble truth is that there is suffering in life.

But ‘suffering’ isn’t the greatest translation for what the Buddha meant. Imagine riding in a cart with wooden wheels. The ride is a little bumpy but it gets you where you want to go. Now imagine that one of the wheels is a bit out of alignment with the others and the whole cart wobbles each time the wheel makes a revolution.

Because the wheel is out of kilter, the ride is predictably wobbly and uncomfortable; no matter how fast or slow you travel, this wheel that’s out of kilter with the rest can only generate a ride that’s unsatisfactory at best.

Life is like this a lot of times. No matter what we do, what God we pray to, how often we meditate, or what drugs we choose to take, life is like this wheel out of kilter.

For the unemployable, working as a cog is like riding in a cart with a wheel out of  kilter. The Buddha also postulated in the second and third noble truths that not only did this dissatisfaction (suffering) in life arise from within but that it was possible to understand it and thereby eliminate it.

Designing your own machine is the way forward

As someone who is unemployable, I find great satisfaction in being creative. Most who toil in misery as cogs in a giant machine are miserable because they, too, are creators. More often than not, a cog’s job description doesn’t include creating.

Cogs are designed and chosen for their ability to be part of a machine. That’s fine for cogs, but not for designers, writers, entrepreneurs, and the other creators.

I will never be truly happy with my work life if I remain a cog. Involved in every great creation is risk. The creator must risk everything to produce something truly meaningful.

Just as in 1519 when Hernado Cortez, the Spanish conquistador ordered his 500 men to burn all 11 ships on the beach of the Yucatan peninsula of Mexico in order to focus them on ‘the way forward,’ burning our boats is often not only a way to destroy back up plans, but a symbolic and ceremonial sacrificing of the cog lore and burning the chaff of resistance.

I am unemployable and I wear this badge with honor.

There will always be those times when you feel your life totally sucks. The decisions you make and the attitudes you adopt during those dark times determine the type of person that emerges. -Dad

I wrote this in response to my youngest son’s most recent experience with life. At fifteen, life is always a roller coaster ride. Seldom are there times when the trauma of adolescence spares us completely of those times when we proudly assert that life sucks.

I recall the dark periods of my own life and realize we are never immune to such times. As a wise philosopher once wrote, shit happens. You either learn how to step around it or get really good at cleaning your shoes.

Both are required skills.

There is a Zen proverb that I often think of when I encounter tough times. It goes something like this…

Before enlightenment, chopping wood and carrying water.  After enlightenment, chopping wood and carrying water.

It illustrates the proclivity in life to experience setbacks no matter what our social station, economic status, or perceived place in the cosmos. Yes, life will suck at times. Yes, it will seem like the world is ending.

But the sun always rises and with it our hopes for a better day ahead.

Life is an endless cycle of ups and downs. The wise person is aware of this and knows that whatever tough time presents itself, it will ultimately pass.  The future-wise do not see this. They focus on the drama of the event and stay embroiled in its negativity.

The decisions we make and the attitudes we adopt during the dark times determine the type of person that emerges.

Choose hope. Choose self-esteem. Choose to take the higher road.

Learn from your experiences. You will need their lessons when the next dark time approaches.