Babysitterdirectory.com.au blog by Ann Nolan

Nanny & Babysitter Pre-employment Screening Checks

2009-11-10T09:19:00.007+11:00

You've just interviewed a nanny and you love her! What next? Below are some steps that you may want to consider before you rush out and offer him or her a position caring for your children.

1. Recap: Before you go calling your preferred nanny applicant and hiring his or her services take a moment to recap about all your applicants.

What did you like / dislike about all the applicants? What exactly did you like about the preferred applicant? What questions arose in your mind about their application? Were all your questions satisfactorily answered during the interview? If not consider calling your applicant back to re clarify certain questions. Does your preferred applicant have all the necessary skills and experience that you requested? Do they have the necessary documentation and certificates? If they do not have a First Aid Certificate for example and this is something that you feel is mandatory for you to feel satisfied hiring this applicant, are you prepared to talk to this applicant about the need for them to complete this certification within a certain period of commencing service with you, for example within 4 weeks?

2 Pre-employment screening: Once you've clarified all the above and your preferred nanny applicant still comes out on top you are ready to undertake some checks.

At this point you may want to ring your preferred nanny and tell them that you you would like do undertake a referee check and pre-employment screening on them and request their consent.

A. Some parents decide to enlist the service of a pre-employment screening company to undertake the necessary checks on their behalf including a National Criminal History Record Check (NCHRC).

To find a complete list of commercial background checking service providers conducting NCHRCs and pre-employment screening for and on behalf of its customers, visit the Australian Government's CrimTrac website.

Parents can also decide to undertake the check themselves.

Parents can seek a NCHRC through their local police station. The Australian Federal Police, NCHRC will cost $43.00 for each check for an individual. You will need the informed written consent of any person you are conducting a NCHRC. You can access the form for undertaking a NCHRC here.

B. The Working With Children Check is not the same as the NCHRC. The aim of the Working With Children Check is to make an assessment of the level of risk an individual poses to children's safety. This means that the Working With Children Checks are more extensive that the NCHRC.

For example, Working With Children Checks draw together information from various sources, but may include a primary focus on certain types of offences (e.g., sexual offences, offences related to the harm or mistreatment of a child).

For more information on the differences between NCHRC and Working with Children Checks check the Australian Government National Child Protection Clearinghouse website.

c. Referee checking - The referee check can either be something you get a third party to do on your behalf. For example a pre-employment screening company like those listed above who can charge approximately $70 per references checked. Or it can be something a parent chooses to do themselves.

A referee check may include asking the referee questions relating to the applicant's skills and experience as well as previous conduct and behaviour in the workplace.For example questions a parent may want to ask a referee include:

* How long did this person work for you and for how many days / hours a week?
* How did you recruit them? (eg newspaper, family friend, word of mouth etc)
* How many children did they care for and what were the ages of the children?
* What was their exact responsibilities and duties?
* What do you think were their strengths and weaknesses? Were their any areas of concern you would like to share?
* Why did they cease working for you?
* Would you consider hiring this person again?
* Is there anything I've left out you think I should know about?

Like all employees, babysitters and nannies will more than likely pick employers who will place them in a favorable light. Therefore try and speak to at least two referees. Ideally speak to a recent referee perhaps even the applicants current employer. And a word of caution, if a referee is a family member of applicant then the reference should not carry as much weight as if they are solely an employer / employee relationship.

Next week: What happens after the interview and pre-employment checks?

[Above is a posting which is the first in a series of postings about interviewing and hiring a babysitter or nanny.]

Dealing with the Prima Donna or 'Difficult' Nanny

2009-11-05T09:04:00.003+11:00

"What do you do with a nanny that your kids adore but that your partner and you find bossy and a Prima Donna? Do you confront the nanny? Accept the bossiness and Prima Donna behaviour as part and parcel of the job,telling yourself as long as your children are happy you are happy or do you get rid of said nanny and risk employing someone that you get on fabulous with but your children don't?

This is the problem poised to us by a parent via email this week.

The parent was from Victoria, but I don't think her "problem" is exclusive to Victorian parents!

The parent went onto say that the nanny had been with the family for over a year. She was employed as she was highly qualified, experienced and had great references. Over the course of the year she's proven to be wonderful with the children, devising crafts and arts to engage them, undertaking cooking with them, developing a journal which she shares with the parents about what the children (3 and 5 years old) have done during the day and finally coming up with some great solutions to address some tricky behaviour issues currently being experienced by the three year old.

It all sounds ideal doesn't it? In fact if you were ticking boxes for "admirable and essential characteristics needing to be demonstrated by nanny" then this nanny would right now be happily ticking all the boxes.

The only niggling issue is the parents or rather the mother's relationship with the nanny.

Dad finds the nanny a tad overly assertive when he does interact with her but then again he admits he doesn't have an awful lot of contact with the nanny so he's prepared to overlook this, especially as the kids seem happy with her. Mum, on the other hand, is starting to dislike the nanny.

She doesn't like how the nanny appeared unenthusiastic about taking on extra housework duties (vacuuming house, folding all family laundry etc) next year when the eldest child goes to school.

She doesn't like the way she feels the nanny is dismissive about some of her suggestions with the children. Case in point. The three year old is being toilet trained. Mum wants the nanny to use pull ups to minimise impact of accidents around the home and as she used pulls up the five year old she can't see what the issue is. The nanny disagrees with the pull ups - and is not afraid to voice her disapproval - insisting that she believes that pull ups used in toilet training will only delay the length of time toilet training will occur and she would rather they are only used at night times for the moment.

What's a parent to do?

For a parent who finds themselves with what they believe is a 'difficult' or even Prima Donna nanny, some strategies to handle the situation might include:

1. Check the intentions, yourself and the situation: Think about your true intentions and the nannies. Do you feel that the nanny really has your children's best interest at heart? Does she seek at all times to do the best for their care and development? If your answer to these questions is "Yes" then think about if the nanny really is 'difficult' or do you have some hidden issues / concerns, ego problems or even guilt that are confusing the problem and that you need need to take responsibility to address.

For example, in this parents situation, does it really matter if the nanny - who is at home with the kids all day, four days a week - prefers not to use pull ups to toilet train your child? Why does using pulls mean so much to you? Look to the end result that both of you want - for example for your child to be toilet trained in a caring, positive and efficient manner - and keep this as the goal. The rest is just the means to the goal.

2. Identify the nanny need: If you've looked within yourself and identified that it really is the nanny who is difficult then you need to recognise that you may have employed a 'time intensive employee". You can either choose to say "I don't want this" and look elsewhere for your childcare or you can sit down and think about turning this situation. Think about what is it your nanny maybe seeking? More recognition - verbal or otherwise - for the work she does? More autonomy in her role? If you haven't done so already consider holding an 'end of year review' with the nanny to recap on the year that's been, challenges, fulfillment's and achievements - from both your points of view - and think about what you both would like to achieve for the year ahead. Know what makes your nanny tick and then work towards full filling this need of your nanny in her work.

3. Be accountable: Okay it's reasonable to expect that if a job role and duties change markedly then this means a possible restructure of responsibilities and duties. In the case above as the eldest will now be at school from next year it's quite reasonable for the parents to expect a restructure of the nannies job duties. However, a nanny is not a housekeeper. Nannies of course usually engage in light housework related to caring for child(ren) including cleaning up after them, cooking children light meals, folding their clothes etc. But this doesn't mean you should expect them to suddenly put on a four course meal for you each night and have mop and bucket at the ready and be responsible for suddenly becoming the de facto cleaner as well. Any negotiations about extra duties needs to be guided by the fact that your nannies primary job is providing a safe, caring and nurturing environment for your children.

If you have examined your reaction and the situation truthfully; tried to address any grievances that you and the nanny have and given some time for changes to occur but you still feel the situation is not improving and you are getting more stressed about your interactions with the nanny, then perhaps its time to accept that it might be time to let go, move on and locate yourself a new nanny.

Over to you :-)

Creating & Crafting : Kids can do it why not grownups too?

2009-10-27T13:35:00.014+11:00

OK first I'm not a "crafty" scrapbooking type person. Never have been and expect never will be. Totally admire those who are into making all sorts of useful, weird and wonderful things and love looking at websites imagining how I could - if I really wanted to that is - make something half similar to what's on the site but my new sewing machine still sits forlornly in the box in which I bought it over six months ago - still untouched and unloved. I'm sure if it could it would prance out of the house and demand another owner far more enthusiastic than the current one it has been landed with!

Inspiration for buying it were visions of creating "stuff" with the kids or even for the kids. Think a batman outfit complete with mask, a shoulder bag, or pretty delicate hair ties and clips. Unfortunately soon discovered I never had the time to even think about what "stuff" I actually wanted to create and when I did have the time to think well there was always something else more appealing to do...funny how that is...

But what I do like and can't get enough of encouraging my kids to undertake is reading and using words.

I adore kids books. Sometimes I think even more than my own kids. Probably this is the reason why I have written several kids stories. [My favourite being the fantasy story of "The Girl Who Never Saw Rain" set in the Lake Eyre surrounds - the driest area in Australia funnily enough - which appealed, no doubt, to my sense of bizarreness having being reared in a country that rarely stops raining! If anyone is interested by all means!].

AnywayI digress,my love of words is probably the reason why my (then) five and nearly four year old old "wrote" their first 'collaborative book' a year ago.

It was a project that took an entire Sunday morning and involved dressing teddies up in outfits, placing them at strategic points in the lounge and my children taking pictures of the teddies with their camera (a present from Santa). Kind of Stop Motion Animation without the animation.

The story was about a teddy called Harry with his friend Buckethead meets a princess in the woods called Sally and the two fall in love and live happily ever after. Not an entremely complex narrative you'll agree but then again my son and daughter were only five and nearly four after all.

The book was called the rather ingenious (or so I think) title of "When Harry married Sally".

It was an instant best seller. To my kids that is. Even now a year on, the book is frequently taken off the shelf and read while the kids marvel at the pictures they have created not to mention the accompanying words. It seems sometimes they have forgotten that it was they that created the story in the first place.

In fact the poor 'book' is now beginning to look rather forlorn and dog eared fearing that it will eventually get so old and tatty and won't be fit for anything but the bin, I've started to place it on the higher shelf away from the unforgiving hands of my youngest.

And that's the thing with children. Whether it writing a 'book', playing with play dough, making a home movie, cooking or doing crafts children adore creating. They adore making things from scratch. It's almost like it's a primeval instinct. Yet for many adults as the years go by we tend to lose sight of this need to create and aside from cooking, gradually we find that we can't even remember the last time we made something from scratch.

But perhaps times are changing.

If a news article - Balancing Work & Life - that appeared in today's The Age is anything to go by. The article by journalist Daniella Miletic reports how a "more relaxed consumer keen on developing new and interesting hobbies might eventually earn a crust from what has emerged from the global financial crisis".

The article reporting on research from McCrindle Research, who conducted the Australian study commissioned by American Express, goes onto say that these people ''potentialists'' usually in their 40s or 50s, put up with an old car car in order spend their extra income on hobbies or developing skills, with cooking and writing the most popular". The plan it seems is to develop a career from these 'hobbies'.

But perhaps there is another plan at work. The realisation that creating something from scratch is fun. Creating feeds something relevant and essential within us as humans. And for some people who create something that others think is good enough to pay money for then perhaps your hobby can gradually transform into an income generating career.

Now, where is that sewing machine....

What's your thoughts on crafts, scrap booking and creating in general? Do you feel its essential to your well being or something that you watch your kids doing but just can't find the time for yourself?

More information

And for those who are into craft activities here's a collection of some useful links you may find of interest and may not be aware of.

Craft Zine also can catch the founder of this site at Average Jane Crafter.

Craft Gossip

Craft Bits

Heather Bailey - a fabric and lifestyle designer

Make Baby Stuff

Craft Directory - useful directory and links to lots of craft type sites.

All Crafts - free baby crafts and projects.

How 'influential' are Australian Mummy Bloggers?

2009-10-20T09:29:00.014+11:00

As a blogger and a mum - though I've never put the two words side by side and called myself a

"mummy blogger" - I asked myself this week just how influential are "mummy bloggers"?

Can mummy bloggers influence the prams other mums will purchase, the shops they will support, the food they will eat?

We all know that in terms of publishing clout newspaper and magazine editors not to mention columnist and journalists appear to have it all over bloggers.

Your average blogger, regardless of what they blog about, are quite aware that in the pecking order of publishing they are still by and large at the bottom of the barrel.

I say 'average' as I don't think that fashion bloggers like Mia Freedman fits into the category, being elevated to some celebrity status with her past position as editor of Australian Cosmopolitan and now her weekly column for Sunday Life magazine.

Mia Freedman's blog where she blogs about fashion
motherhood and related issues.

Bloggers with influence?

Fashion magazine editors for example, can expect as part and parcel of the job "samples" or freebies including fragrances, makeup, shoes, handbags, pink PlayStation's 2, Nintendo DS Lite,designer outfits and as Amanda Taylor, editor of Total Girl says "a bag full of Havaianas for Christmas", landing on their desk regularily. But perhaps not so much a fashion blogger like Australian blogger Erica Bartle with her blog Girl with A Satchel I'd wager.

Which is curious since there are many bloggers who have a tremendous amount of influence.

Think New York based photographer Scott Schuman who shortly after 9/11 closed his fashion showroom and began focusing on his website The Satorialist where he photographs perfectly dressed people. Schumann is so respected in the fashion world now that many high end fashion houses use his pics to inpire and influence them and Mr Schuman recently scored a front row at the Dolce & Gabbana show in Milan last week reported InStyle UK. Not bad for a 'blogger'. Schuman has even a book released of his blogs and pics.

Cover of Scott Schuman's book

Top Australian women bloggers

In Australia the top three women bloggers according to the website Blogchicks is the vintage feel website called Meetmeatmikes by Melbourne based, mother of three, Pip Lincolne.

Coming in second is DownToEarth a blog about "working in the home, vegetable and fruit gardening, slowing down and being mindful, cooking simple food, keeping chickens and worms, composting, green cleaning, stockpiling and preserving". And listed third is WhipUp, a community of arts and crafters.

Meetmeatmikes by Melbourne mum of three Pip Lincolne

Declare or beware for US bloggers

So perhaps it is encouraging signs for the blogging world (sort of) that the US Federal Trade Commission (FTC) has decided that American bloggers ('word-of-mouth marketers) who are paid to post should be upfront and declare this.

The FTC has even set its sights on Twitter saying American bloggers in social media need to declare on Twitter if they have been paid to tweet. [Mind you how a blogger can do this in 140 characters isn't quite clear].

So from 1 December 2009 if an American blogger gets a freebie for posting about how fantastic a new stroller is then she now needs to declare that she was given a sample of the free stroller to use for her own personal use. If the blogger doesn't she could risk a hefty fine.

In a recent article in the UK Guardian, blogger Veronica Arreola talks about this issue and calls this payment for posting in blogs -"Blogola"(Payola for blogs) but she is also quite scathing about this need to declare payment:

"What I don't agree with is all the attention on mommy bloggers. I believe we are the targets because we lack respect in the blogosphere". She goes onto say "Most of us started blogging not to get the latest toy in the mail, but to join a growing community where we have each others' backs in this crazy world called motherhood. That we get asked to share our thoughts on butt cream is icing on our kids' cupcakes".

Arrelola makes a good point that magazine editors don't have to declare that they were sent freebie samples of moisturizing cream when they are doing a spread on the best moisturizers on the market so why should a blogger have to declare products they have received?

With the growing number of Australians blogging, not to mention the recent release of findings by Nielsen showing that more than four in five (86%) internet users consume user-generated content and 60% read blogs as well as the high number of Australian mumpreneurs embracing blogging, it will be most interesting to see how this issue plays out in time.

In the meantime please feel free to send in your strollers, cars, designers clothes, facial products, Nintendo games for the folks at Babysitterdirectory to sample and review ;-)

Over to you?

Do you read blogs? What's your thoughts on bloggers needing to declare payments for posting? Share your thoughts.

Ending an After School Arrangement

2009-10-13T10:46:00.007+11:00

What do you do when your After School Carer happens to also be a personal friend but she has just raised her rates and you now feel you want to search for another after school carer alternative for your children but don't quite know how to do it without offending her?

This is the question which we received from a parent this week, with the parent needing to balance diplomacy and tact on the one hand with the need to observe what's best for her family on the other.

When Casual gets Serious

For close to two years this parent has had a personal friend who she met in ante natal classes and who happened to live very near, care for her twin seven year old daughters after school.

The parent returned to full time work last year when her daughters started school. Rather than use the after school care program on site she decided to take the offer from her friend to care for her daughters after school and in return the parent insisted on paying a fee in recognition of this support.

At the time it seemed like a win-win situation.

This parent now goes to work knowing that when school finishes her friend will collect her daughters from school, along with her own daughter and son, take them home and give them afternoon snack. The girls are then picked up from the friends house at 5:30pm and taken home. The cost for the service has been $7 per child for each afternoon or $14 in total.

It's worked well for everyone involved. Until now.

What has changed?

Well nothing, apart from the fact that a few weeks ago the parents friend emailed saying she was raising her after school rate to $9 per day for each child.

So to this parent her after school fees have now gone up $2 a day which doesn't sound much but when you consider that this is an extra $10 a week or approximately $40 a month on after school care then suddenly the issue looks different.

To add fuel to the fire the after school care program only costs $7 a day per child (i.e $2 a day per child cheaper) but because its approved after school care it means that at the end of the year the parent can calculate it with her tax returns unlike the current arrangement with her friend.

So what does the parent now want to do?

She wants out but understandably she does not want to offend her friend or damage their friendship.

She now wants to enroll her children in after school care at the school and be able to access the approved childcare status this centre affords. So what started out as a casual arrangement nearly two years ago and which appeared to suit everyone has now left one of the parties feeling a little put out and " ripped off" and feeling that another arrangement would better suit her families needs.

Once again it goes without saying that this is a difficult situation which needs to be handled with diplomacy and tact.

Questions to think about

We asked the parent to think about why she is feeling so frustrated with the matter.

Was it because no consultation was engaged in prior to the raising of the renumeration? Yes, was the response from the parent.

Was it because the fees were raised without any change in arrangements, increase in hours or any perceived return for the added money paid? Partly, said the parent.

Or was it because the fees are now even more than the after school care program fees? Absolutely, said the parent.

Engaging in an business partnership with a friend is always a difficult and complex matter. Whether it's a childcare arrangement or going into business together, both parties need to talk about and agree on issues such as finance, what's exactly involved in the arrangement and also an exit strategy.

By 'exit strategy' we mean talking honestly and openly about scenarios that may mean the end of the 'arrangement'. For example what will happen if the carer no longer wants to provide after school care? Or what will happen if the parent no longer wants to access the care because of a change in fees, financial resources or employment status?

The important thing is that this parent should not feel obliged to continue with the care if its not serving her or her families needs. This is just plain ridiculous and in the long run it will only lead to a build up of resentment and frustration which could in the end spill over and effectively ruin the friendship.

It makes sense for this parent to talk openly with her friend and inform her that she has decided that this term she will be enrolling her daughters in the schools after school program for several reasons. Firstly, her daughters can learn more independence. Secondly, they can access the activities which the after school program provides and lastly because the fees have gone up an extra $40 a month this has meant a rethink of the situation. Likewise next year when the new school year starts a new rethink of the situation will be required - for all involved.

Over to you.

Have you any thoughts to share on after school programs? Share your comments now.

When to allow your child have a sleepover?

2009-10-06T12:55:00.004+11:00

What is the "right" age to allow your child a sleep over at a friends house?

This is the question I asked myself last week when my six year old asked me, once again, when she would be allowed to have sleepovers at her school friends houses.

"Will it be when I'm seven Mum?" she said munching on her breakfast. I replied with a distracted "Mmm" while at the same
time frantically buttering toast and scratching for the "correct" answer to give her.

"Perhaps eight mum?" she says with a note of desperation slipping into her voice (eight does seem so long away when you are six after all). I replied with the annoying parent-like response of "We'll see".

Not satisfied she asks, "Maybe when I'm nine Mum right? Or 10?" .

Ten sounds like a good number I realise - very distant - and so I grasp at it. "Yes honey when you're 10". She looks happy - sort of - that a definite response has been given, yet at the same time not so happy because 10 is four years away after all. It is a bit like telling a 35 year old she can do something she really wants when she's near 70. Suddenly the anticipation does understandably lose its shine!

So what is the "right" age to start sleepover?

By sleepover I don't mean your child having a sleepover at Nannas and Grandad's or another family members place. By sleepover I mean staying over at the house of one of their school friends. Staying at the house of parents that you may only know in a limited capacity, for example school events, or for a chat at school pick up's and drop off's.

As a child I only had a sleepover when I turned 12 or 13. There wasn't a big deal made of it. It was just happened. It was so uneventful I can't even remember what happened but I do know we didn't call it "having a sleepover" . In Ireland we called it the rather cumbersome " staying at so-and-so's for the night". The Irish obviously aren't endowed with Australian's capacity for literary shortcuts!

So why the reluctance to have our six year old go to a friends house (regardless of how close the friend is to the family) for a sleepover?

Both my husband and I agree that sleepovers are an important part in helping a child develop independence, helping to foster their self reliance and also allowing them to see and understand that all families work and do things differently.

But our reluctance to start sleepovers boils down to one simple fact - "why the rush?" I know there will be a lot of sleepovers with friends in the coming years so we feel that right now there is no need to rush something that will happen of its own accord in time anyway.

Sending your child on a sleepover

Sending your early primary school child for a sleepover to a friends house means that its probably a good idea if you know their friends parents well.[For my family this means no sleepovers while my daughter is so young with people we just know from play dates drop offs and picks ups.As a family we need to be firm friends of the parents].

If you are a parent with a child going on a sleepover you may also want to be sure your child is secure enough to be away the whole night from their home and that you won't be doing the 3:00am drive to pick up your child as they've woken up and just won't go back to sleep... without a cuddle from you! Hosting a few sleepovers for your child's friends before your child goes on a sleepover themselves might also be a good idea.

Let your child know before they go on their sleepover that if they decide before they go to bed that they would rather go home that they can easily call you and be picked up. Of course tell the parent hosting the sleepover that you have told your child this so they are not left feeling surprised.

Inform the host family if there are any allergies or food restrictions. If your child has a severe allergy ensure everyone is clear what happens in the event of an exposure to an allergen. Be sure the host family has your full contact details and ensure you are contactable at all times.

Hosting a sleepover

Chat with your child about some activities, games and videos they may do / watch with their friend(s) on the sleepover.

Keep the numbers small otherwise it gets unmanageable and you can forget about anyone hitting that pillow for a sound sleep.

Before the evening gets too late casually ask the children if anyone would prefer to go home. Children should feel supported enough to indicate if they would prefer to go home at this point.

Don't let the morning after drag on. Have kids picked up early morning, so you can get to the cleaning up!

There is no right answer to when is the " right" time to start sleepovers for your child. It depends on your family and your child. So next time my daughter asks this question the answer will be "what's the rush?"

Over to you :-)

When do you think is the "right" age to start sleepovers? Are their any other tips you would like to share. Discuss now on Babysitterdirectory Forum (and be in with the chance to win a Nicola Cerini bag worth $145. Yes last chance!)

Why Mothers Groups are a bit like starting a new job

2009-09-29T12:13:00.008+10:00

Mothers Groups seem to be a popular topic of discussion at the moment have you noticed?

From the weekend columnist describing how her Mothers Group saved her from total meltdown at being a new mum to the blog articles about how great Mothers Groups are. These articles describe how the opportunity to chat with other new mums about all things nappy rash, motherhood and parenting in the days of being a new mum was the equivalent to someone walking up and handing a new mum a gold bullion (well sort of!).

However I've also heard a more silent simmer of discontent from some new mums saying the experience of their Mothers Group made them want to crawl under a pile of nannies saying "is THIS what I'm expected to become? Not on your life!"

I was fortunate with my Mothers Group. Joining it over six years ago, when my eldest daughter was born I found that I connected with many of the women in the group. Not all mind you but most which is a good strike rate. The group has of course long since folded as people moved away or back to full time work but four of us have become good friends and continue to see each other regularly whether it's at the movies to watch a good 'chick flick', play dates, a glass of vino on a Friday night or other social activities our children are involved in. And of course we have moved beyond talking about 'Mothers Group' type of issues to talking about the broader aspects that make up our lives.

So why do some new mums feel lacking in connection with other members in their Mothers Group?

Perhaps these mums just don't 'do' the group thing. They've being made to feel they will get something out of the group but they just don't feel comfortable with the whole club / group thing? Maybe.

Perhaps some women end up in a group purely by circumstances and location but they share no similarity in values or outlook with the other members and the only thing they do have in common with the other members is motherhood but even then the values and beliefs around this issue are so different it makes no connection viable? Possibly.

Or could it be that even if this new mum moved to a new Mothers Group the same issue would present itself? Once again she would feel no connection to the other members of the group. Is it possible that some new mums take a little longer to come to terms with what motherhood means to them?How they will now define themselves as a person now that they are also a mother? Or even if a new definition is needed or wanted? And struggling with this internal 'debate' it becomes difficult to connect with other women who appear to have whole heatedly embraced a perceived vision of motherhood that this new mum feels just doesn't suit her.

Which got me to thinking.

Mothers Groups, if you think about it, are really like starting a new job.

At first when you start a new job you talk to your new work colleagues about work and professional things. Because that is the reason you are there. Somehow you know talking to a new work colleague about your leaking breast pads won't garner much sympathy. A raised eyebrow and a polite " Oh I see..." trailing off into uncomfortable silence perhaps, but not a full on discussion about the best breast pad out there as you could expect from a Mothers Group meeting. But gradually as you get to know your new colleagues you start to share details with them, details about your life and who you are. Where you have come from and what your dreams are, including perhaps as time goes by the desire for a new job. Then gradually when you move away to a new job these work colleagues may have become such good friends that you now regard them as 'personal friends'.

And so to with Mothers Groups. So if a new mum finds herself at odds with the group then maybe a good think about exactly why this might be might be in order. Because getting to the root of why the Group isn't meeting your needs might just open a whole new world of connection and friendships or may just indicate that it's time you searched for a new Group or activity to do with your little one.

Over to you :-)

How did you find your Mothers Group? Did you enjoy it or feel at odds with the group? Share your thoughts (and be in the running to win a Nicola Cerini satchel valued at $145!) on Babysitterdirectory Forum.

More information

www.mothersgroup.com.au - created to allow mothers across Australia to either search and join a local mothers group or create and manage their own mothers group.

Australian Breastfeeding Association

Mothers and Fathers Groups from Raising Children Network.

[Image courtesy of Morgue File].

Tea anyone? Babysitters, Parents & Refreshments

2009-09-22T13:34:00.008+10:00

"What refreshments should I reasonably expect when I babysit?" asked 'Andy' a member of the online networking site for babysitters and nannies -the Australian Nanny Network.

Andy goes onto say that she has had a couple of recent night babysitting jobs and when she gets there "they [the parents] have not provided so much as enough milk to make a cup of coffee - let alone the coffee!"

It may sounds like a 'light hearted' question but in truth it is actually a very valid question and one that I am sure crosses the mind of all babysitters at least once (if not many times) in their babysitting career.

Past recollections

As a naive 17 old in Ireland I have vivid recollections of babysitting for a family who lived close by. They were family friends but when I first started to babysit for them they never mentioned that I would be welcome to "make myself at home". Translation: Make myself a cup of tea and grab a biscuit or the whole packet if you want!

Fearing that they wouldn't like the thought of me rummaging in their drawers, I as a consequence used to babysit for sometimes up to four hours without so much as a single cup of tea. After a few several babysitting sessions I can tell you my "enthusiasm" for this job started to wane but they were family friends so I kept at it.

It was only when the mum apologised one night before she went out that she only had skim milk in the fridge that I mentioned that I never helped myself to refreshments. The look on the mums face said it all. She was horrified and embarrassed to say the least and profusely apologised. The refreshment situation, dare I say it, remarkably improved after that and my babysitting career with this family flourished for another year before I moved away to university.

So what refreshments should a parent provide when they hire a babysitter for an evening? What refreshments is it acceptable for a babysitter to expect?

Dinner? A light snack? A cup of coffee? A five course buffet?

Or should the babysitter be expected to provide all their own refreshments? Joe Parent might say "We are paying her for babysitting aren't we? Isn't that enough? You don't get me going to work and expecting my employer to serve up a piping out dinner for me so why should the babysitter expect it?

The respondents to Andy' s posting seemed to be in agreement. When they have a babysitter around they stock up the pantry with both healthy and non healthy food and tell the babysitter its "open slather" on the pantry.

Have your cake and eat it too

So what's a parent or babysitter to do?

First up is communicate. If you are a babysitter and the issue has not been raised by a parent when they employ you as a babysitter, ask them.

"Is it ok if I help myself to a light snack or refreshment".

If the parent says 'no you can sit and starve for the next three odd hours" and you don't feel happy with this response (surprise, surprise) then you have to judge what's best for you to do. Continue with the position bringing your own snack box or perhaps start looking for another position.

And if you are a babysitter who has not broached this subject with your employer and the situation is annoying you then perhaps it's time you did? Perhaps the next time this family ring to hire your services you politely say:

" I'm sorry I'll be coming from work and won't have a chance to grab dinner is it okay if I help myself to a light dinner?".

If you are a parent and the issue has not being broached by your babysitter yet then maybe it's time you brought the topic up? Maybe its time you asked your babysitter what they felt on the topic and come to a satisfactory agreement for both parties.

With communication there is less room for error, misunderstandings and gripes.

So yes, Jo Parent while you are technically right that yes, you are paying the babysitter and yes, you probably don't get free meals at work the fact is a babysitter is looking after your most precious 'belonging' - your kids. So wouldn't you rather your babysitter be looking after your sleeping angels happily nibbling on that $3 packet of Tim Tam's than sitting stony faced rifling through the "Latest Jobs" section of Babysitterdirectory.com.au!

Over to you?

What refreshments do you provide your babysitter with when they babysit?

Nannies helping children reach academic excellence...

2009-09-15T11:46:00.010+10:00

"The defining factor in having academically successful children of parents that work outside the home is the household help that they hire".

The article reporting on research from the Washington based National Academy Of Sciences [described on the site as "advisers to the nation on science, engineering and medicine"] shows that " families that hire great childcare providers are in a stronger position to have children that are successful in school. Children of working parents that do not have the support of homework helpers are less likely to achieve as well in school."

This is some of the opening paragraphs in a US based nanny blog (Be the Best Nanny Monthly Guide) published last week. [I was however unable to locate specific references to this actual research on the NAS website so have to take it at face value that this research exists].

Immediately I had visions of parents feeling obliged to ensure they recruit an school carer or nanny with qualifications, skills and experience necessary to support and guide their child with their homework and to in effect "teach" their child. Suddenly the bedroom converts into a mini class room complete with white board, desk and chair!

If this research is picked up and embraced in the Australian context are we in danger of slowly metamorphosing the nanny and after school carer into a private tuition provider?

Will after school time - a period between end of school and evening where a child should be able to relax and play - slowly merge into a continuation of the classroom where the emphasis is on academic learning?

Of course homework is a fact of school life, particularly for the older primary aged students but also in some school for the younger students. And yes many after school carers specifically state on their Babysitterdirectory.com.au profiles that they are willing and skilled to assist with homework and of course parents often state this important task as part of their after school carers duties.

But requesting that the after school carer will assist a child with homework is very different from the role of tutor as a key part of the nannies / after school carers job role where suddenly their primary role is to teach the child and assist with homework.

I'm sure this research has no doubt a lot of highly qualified people contributing to it but surely it's pretty important that we don't lose site of the fact that play is the work of childhood?

As one of the comments on the Be the Best Nanny Monthly Guide said "... Helping with schoolwork and homework is the hardest part of my job because the parents need to be more involved. They want me to do it (understandably) but they miss the drama. Hard to be a Tutor and a Nanny at same time!"

What's your thoughts on this research? Share your thoughts on Babysitterdirectory Forum and be in the chance to win a Nicola Cerni Handbag worth $145!

[Image courtesy - MorgueFile]

Not losing sight of a mothers life and her birth rights

2009-09-08T10:25:00.005+10:00

At the weekend I read two different articles that could not more starkly indicate how sometimes we lose so much perspective on the issues confronting us as a society.

The first article was quite lengthy and called 'Birth Rights' and appeared in last weekend's The Good Weekend. Written by John Van Tiggelen, the article brought, what I thought was a pretty balanced report on the state of home births in Australia. Granted the journalist was slightly more sympathetic to home births as he freely conceded that his mother and all her siblings (the 13 of them) were born at home as were his sisters and his cousins in Holland (".. 50 of them") are giving birth at home.

What inspired the writing of the article is no doubt the fact that in 10months time independent midwives will cease to assist home births as the federal Minister for Health, Nicola Roxon brings in changes private midwifery that will restrict midwives to providing care outside the hospital system. In return for doing this they will get access to Medicare Provider Numbers from July 2010.

For many women the ability to choose home births (currently one in 400 is born at home in Australia)will diminish. The article interviewed several women who have had at home births not to mention independent midwives and the newly elected President of the Australian Medical Council , Andrew Pesce who appears to be adamantly against home births citing research on how dangerous it is and how the Australian women who choose a home birth "have such a strong commitment to choosing a home birth that they either don't understand or they ignore emerging warning signs (of foetal distress).

I read the article with interest, looked at the beautiful, soft and gentle pictures especially of the mother and baby (by photographer Marina Oliphant) and thought how complex the issue was and how a solution needed to be found that made all happy or else how Australia may risk some women choosing 'free births' (unassisted even by a midwife) as their birthing choice.

The weekend rolled by and then Monday morning I opened The Age and wham!

In front of me was one of the most confronting image (see above) I have seen in a long time.

The back and white photo is of a woman from PNG in the throes of childbirth and in obvious agony and exhausted. She has just given birth on a dirty floor to a baby. There is amniotic fluid everywhere, buckets is in the background as well as old bits of torn paper strewn around the floor and in the middle of the frame a tiny baby dripping with fluids being held by what looks to be a male doctor wearing surgical gloves.

My heart poured out to her.

Stylistically the photograph by Jason South is arresting, confronting, natural and memorable. But the story (A Mother's Life by Jo Chandler) it tells is heartbreaking.

The pregnant woman in the photo is the one of the 12,000 pregnant women who find their way to Port Moresby General Hospital and "takes her chances in the overcrowded, understaffed, dilapidated women's wing".

Some of these women give birth in the delivery room where "vinyl mattresses are worn through, soiled foam bursting through the cracks". Once the baby is born these women are given a bucket and asked to clean up while the next woman is wheeled in. Many of the women just give birth in the waiting room or in the toilets.

The article says how these women are regarded as "the luckiest in the country" as at least they have made it to hospital where there is some access to doctors and midwives as well as life saving drugs - albeit in short supply. "Many more of their sister labor unaided at home. Of PNG's 200,000 births a year - and the figure is rising that will see the population double in the next 25 years - 120,000 are unsupervised.

As Dr Glen Mola, professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at Port Moresby General Hospital says " those 120,000 are taking their chances in a dirty house, on a dirt floor, with no skilled attendants, no equipment, no capacity to get somewhere if something bad happens. And they die..."

While the cause of PNG's fractured health system are complex reading both articles it's hard not to ask could any two stories be in more contrast to each other?

The first tells of how some women in Australia are fighting for the right to have a home birth, fighting for the right not to go to hospital or have doctors and obstetricians or drugs present during their child birth. The second women in PNG dying at disturbing rates ( 733 maternal deaths per 100,000 live births ) and doing everything to get to a grotty, overfilled hospital so as to access doctors, drugs and medical attention during their child birth.

It's almost obscene.

Comparing both articles it's hard not to think that firstly the most important outcome in any childbirth - where ever it occurs - should always be the physical safety of the mother and the child and secondly how we as a society need to do so much more to help developing societies like PNG build health systems that work and can respond to their citizens when they are the most vulnerable. At that includes childbirth.

Over to you.

[Note: If you are aware of any NGOs working in PNG on this specific issue or on women's health please feel free to leave your post here.]

Image: by Jason South.

Accidents can happen: a guide for babysitters , nannies and parents

2009-09-01T13:00:00.004+10:00

Having a serious accident happen to a child in your care or on "your watch" has to be one of the most stressful events that a babysitter or nanny will face while on the job.

Not only is there a need to respond to the accident at lightening speed using First Aid training that both babysitters , nannies and parents update in the ardent hope they never need to use the skills, but there may also be a need to secure your own safety as well as that of other children also in your care.

Added to that, after the accident - whether it be a traffic accident that you were not responsible for; an accident at the playground or exposure of a child in your care to a life threatening allergen - there is the need for you to often manage conflicting feelings of guilt and self doubt - how could the accident have been prevented? how did you respond to the situation? could you have responded better?

There is also the fear of the effect the accident (if it involved a child in your care) may have in your ongoing relationship with your employer - the parents - who understandably will be distressed and regardless of the fault of the accident maybe inclined to - initially at least - blame you and as a consequence.

Accidents can also happen to a nanny. For example what would happen if the nanny is in a serious car accident? The children are fine but the nanny is seriously hurt. Do the police know how to contact the parents of the children?

Or what would happen if the parents are in a serious car accident while a babysitter is babysitting one night? Who would the babysitter contact?

The fact is accidents happen. It's a fact of life. But there are some things that nannies, babysitters and parents can do to minimise at least the initial impact of the accident for all involved.

Being prepared

1. Keep skills updated. Regularly update your skills - this applies to both parents and babysitters / nannies. Doing a First Aid course just once and not updating your skills is not sufficient. Skills need to be regularly updated and refreshed to ensure you are able to respond appropriately to any emergencies particularly if it is an accident involving children. And if you are a parent or caring for a child with anaphylaxis, it is especially important that you update your anaphylaxis training.

2. Make safety a priority. Be always on the lookout for both yours and your charges safety. Ensure that safety latches are always closed on gates; always hold young children's hand crossing the road; ensure children are properly fastened into cars. Make yourself aware of the new road safety laws coming into effect across Australia in November 2009 for children. For example from 9 November 2009 children under the age of seven will be banned from riding in the front seat of cars under radical changes to seat belt laws to be adopted across Australia.

3. Be prepared. Nothing has to be worse than an accident happening and the babysitter or nanny having no idea how to contact the parents or the details (e.g mobile number) of the backup emergency contacts have changed or are not available.Ensure a Family Details and Emergency Information Card is completed for the carer and updated regularly by all parties. Most importantly make sure this information is in a secure and accessible place, for example in the Daily Diary, where the babysitter and nanny knows exactly where to access it in the event of an emergency. This sheet will include details such as children's names, weight, age, any allergies or preexisting conditions and emergency contact details of at least two people for the nanny to contact if parents are uncontactable. Likewise babysitters and nannies should ensure that their employers know who to contact if they are in an accident. This information can also be kept with the daily diary.

4. Consider ICE: In your mobile phone address book include ICE that is details of someone who can be contacted In Case of an Emergency. This can save valuable time particularly if it is the nanny who is injured.

5. Be contactable. When you have a child being cared for by a childcare provider be it nanny or a day care centre you need to be contactable. Of course switch your mobile to silent and vibrate when in a meeting or out at night at a romantic dinner, but ensure that if your babysitter, nanny or the police need to urgently contact you then they can.

Thankfully accidents happen infrequently but being prepared, being equipped and being contactable can help to minimise at least the initial stress for everyone involved.

More information....nanny insurance
Did you know that a babysitter or nanny can be sued in the event a child is injured or suffers and illness while in care? In fact sometimes a carer can be held liable even if they have not been negligent. Find out more about nanny insurance.

Have you had experience of an accident happening while nannying / babysitting or as a parent? Share your experiences on the Babysitterdirectory Forum.

Does having a nanny mean you are 'elitist'?

2009-08-25T10:50:00.004+10:00

A few weeks a girlfriend made a very interesting observation about the relationship between her child (5 years old) and their nanny.

Her little girl was talking to mum about something or other and was referring to the nanny - who the family regard as part of the family - except that she didn't call the nanny by name. Instead she said "..my nanny..".

Now this got my friend and by consequence her partner - both who are very grounded individuals - a tad anxious and spun them into some self exploration and self examination.

Why did their little girl say "my nanny"? Why didn't she call the nanny by name? How had they contributed to her environment so that she felt the need to call the nanny "my nanny" instead of by her name? Had they said something or called the nanny in that way? Were they at risk of bringing up children who would come across to her peers as 'stuck up'? In fact come to think of it was the very fact of choosing a nanny over a day care setting creating an elitist environment to bring your child up in!

History of nanny

The issues and questions raised are interesting not least because they say a lot about how much society still unspokenly perceive families with nannies and in turn how families with nannies may perceive themselves.

The history of the 'nanny' is said to have originated in England and can be traced to the nineteenth and twentieth century when they were called nurses. In a well established and aristocratic house the nurse ran would run the nursery and may have been supported by other staff within the house. Because of the childcare element nurses were in a more elevated position than many of the other servants in the house.

To-days nannies and the conditions they work in not to mention the depth of their skills and experiences are vastly different than that of long ago and nannies now work with "normal" every day families in their homes helping them to get to work and do they things they need to do to make a living.

However, it is not too much to assume that often either in society or with individuals there is still some hangover elitist perceptions of those bygone times that in today's modern age just do not sit as well as they did in the nineteenth century.

Nannies and affluent families

As to nannies only working for 'well off' families. A recent study by University Of Queensland seems to still support this notion - somewhat. The study on 108 Brisbane working couples and their young children was used to determine how dual working households functioned as families and seems to support the view that lower income families do not have nannies.

The study found that the only couples from the study who had nannies were in the $80,000+ salary range. And in the study very few of the mothers were in "high prestige jobs" (the study does not seem to define what this means), but the ones that were had nannies.

But even given this the fact remains having a nanny is not sign of prestige or wealth or elitism.To many families with the income and means to support it, having a nanny is a childcare choice (of course many would argue even having a choice is a sign of elitism!). Nannies are professional childcare workers, often highly qualified in the area of early childhood development. For many families placing their child in a large day care setting does not feel right for them. They would rather contribute more of the household income to child care (nanny).

As for my friends, well they vowed to watch their language more and ensure that the nanny was referred to by her first name and never by the title "the nanny".

Do you think society judges families who use nannies differently than those who use day care settings? If so how so and why do you think this is? If not why not?

Discuss this now on Babysitterdirectory Forum.

Over to you.

[Image Cassat from Wikipedia]

Getting a handle on Nanny Envy

2009-08-18T11:45:00.008+10:00

Nanny envy.

It's a concept which is enough to drive frustration, resentment, waves of guilt and feelings of ambiguity into many mums. It's also a concept that causes a lot of undue stress and frustration with those entrusted to care for children in the intimate surroundings of the home - nannies.

You know the situation. You've found a wonderful nanny. Everyone tells you so. She cares fantastically for your children, she's excellent at what she does and your children love her. In fact they adore her. You, as the hard working parent of course appreciate this - sort of. Its wonderful your children think their nanny is fantastic and that you can go to work not worrying about their welfare and happiness. But why then, you ask yourself, do you feel the green eyed monster arise within you when you see your children with the nanny? Why then do you feel resentment tapered by guilt towards your nanny and wish that she wasn't so good at her job? Especially those times when you come home from a long day at work and its clear your children hardly notice your return. In fact now that you mention it they always seem to prefer the nanny over you for cuddles, reassurance and to play with.

Your first reaction? Fire her.

Then there is the nanny. In fact just this week a carer on Babysitterdirectory Forum posted a question on how to deal with a "jealous mum" . She reported "everything is going great, except that the kids are choosing me over their mum. Their mum is getting jealous, and resorting to bribery to get hugs from her kids. As the babysitter, I try and get them to do things with her, and I hold the baby, but they keep coming back to me for hugs".

Understandably the carer is worried that mum will eventually see her as "not suitable" and ask her to leave.

Added to this mix is the complex role that the generation gap and gender play.

With the current socio-demographics many Australian mums are mature [ approximately 35% of mothers aged >35 years are first-time mother- s] and in their mid to late thirties sometimes before they have their first child. Anecdotal research on Babysitterdirectory shows than a large percentage of nannies tend to be in their 20's. This disparity in age can mean that they nanny often without kids of her own is possessed with boundless energy - which children love - something a mum in her late 30's with two to three or more young children and holding down a job can be sorely lacking in.

When the issue of "nanny envy" is written about it appears to rarely mention the relationship between the dad and the nanny (predominantly female). One could be forgiven for mistakenly assuming that all dads are completely confident in their parenting role and it is only mums prone to feelings of resentment and nanny envy! However if the nanny was a male carer or "manny" it's highly likely that the green eyed monster may have an increased likelihood of manifesting in dad.

So now to the million dollar question. What is the best way for parents to handle "nanny envy"?

1. Don't fire the nanny to make yourself feel better
When parents feel that the nanny is getting too close to their child(ren) their first reaction can be to fire the nanny. The problem with this response is that its often not the best action to take for your child(ren's) welfare. Replacing a wonderful nanny who has bonded with your child(ren) by someone else who perhaps doesn't bond as well may make parents feel more secure but can potentially make your child feel less than happy and insecure. At the end of the day parents have to ask themselves about whose happiness and welfare is most important to them. I'm wagering most parents would say their child's!

2. Get involved
Liaise closely with your nanny on developing a diary of activities that she will do with the children during the week. Then chat with your children on the day about the activities they will be doing with the nanny and also mention your involvement. For example " Grace is going to take you to the zoo this afternoon. Grace and I thought you might like to see the elephants ". Let you child(ren) know you are fully involved on what's happening in their day.

3. Stay in contact during the day
Even though your work day maybe frantically busy take some time out during the day to call home and speak to your child(ren). Even if your child(ren) are too young to speak to you on the phone sometimes even hearing your voice can be enough to put a smile on their faces.

4. Do something special
Make regular time to do something special with each of your children. It can be as simple as gardening, going for a cycle or a walk. What's important is that it's an activity that both you and your child enjoy and that both of you can make it your 'special thing'.

5. Acknowledge why you are working
Mums return to work for various reasons. Some because they economically have no choice. If they don't work the mortgage does not get paid. But many mums choose to return to work because it's a mix of needing to for economic reasons but also wanting to return to work for both the social and career development opportunities work offer. It's not surprising then that in reports on returning to work one of women's key concerns expressed was "guilt about doing the right thing and feeling sad about missing special time". Acknowledging why you are working and recognising the role this can be playing in your feelings of nanny envy can often be essential to help you realise the possible root of your nanny envy.

6. Recognise you're not alone
Nanny envy is not an uncommon phenomenon. Many parents with nannies at one time or other have had similar feelings. Realising that you're not alone can often be just the impetus parents need to help them deal with the feelings nanny envy create.

7. There is only one mum
Nannies can come and go but mum will always be there. Remember this important point because when you child has long left the days of nannies behind them and are entering the teenage and adult years, you will still be there and you will still be their mum.

If you are a nanny dealing with a parent you suspect has nanny envy then you might like to try these strategies:

Involve the parent in the planning of the child(ren's) activities. If you're not doing so already start a journal of weekly activities that they child(ren) will be involved with and ask the parent for their contributions and imput.
Mention the parent(s) to the child during the day. Suggest to them to do a drawing for mum or dad.
At the end of the day report back to the parent(s) what type of day their children had. This will help keep the parent involved.
Suggest to the parent they may like to call the child during the day.
Lastly, recognise that if your parent employer has nanny envy at the end of the day this is not your issue to manage, its the parents. Your responsibility is the welfare of the child(ren) you are employed to take care of.

Take on board what Carole Disseldorp, parent educator with 32 years experience and founder of EasierParenting says "if the babysitter goes out of her way to befriend the mother, talk with her a lot and show the children that mum is worth being around, this might help. She needs to set the example of being warm and friendly to the mum..."

And finally as Louise Kirk, a 25 year old UK nanny said in an article in the UK Telegraph in 2005 "I think there's a consensus that we do things better than parents...nannies have more patience and more experience than first-time parents. But that's not surprising, and parents shouldn't mind - I've weaned and potty trained seven babies. And our advantage derives from the fact that we can clock off at 7pm, while there's no escape for mothers from family life."

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Discuss this on Babysitterdirectory Forum? Have you ever experienced nanny envy as a parent or nanny? How did you handle it?

Further reading

The proportion of babies born to women over 30 accounts for 51 percent of the total fertility rate, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. Reported on NineMSN.

Nannies who make wives despair | Telegraph.co.uk
Are you Jealous of your nanny, | Parentdish.com
Nixing Nanny Resentment | MomLogic.com
Women who won't | Spectator
The new nanny diaries are online | NY Times
Older mums, the pros and cons | Nine MSN

[Image courtesy MorgueFile.com]

The 30min clock-in : ensuring holidays stay as holidays!

2009-08-05T17:52:00.007+10:00

Two weeks ago in Sunday Life, author, commentator and blogger Mia Freedman (@miafreedman) wrote a fascinating article posing the question" is technology stealing our ability to be alone".

Freedman says that the downside of technology is that it has "gobbled up our downtime" and that there is a "creeping expectation that we’re all available to communicate 24/7, [so] are we losing the ability to just twiddle our thumbs? Stare into space? Chill?"

Holidays must be on many peoples mind at this time of year perhaps because down in Australia we feel as if winter seems to be dragging on forever and the long hot summer days seem so far away, as Peter Crocker blog on Flying Solo - also wrote last week on a similar issue as Freedman saying that often if you run your own business going on holidays can feel like its more bother than it's actually worth.

So here I find myself towards the tailend of my holiday, checking emails and of course writing this blog post sitting in a cafe a 100 odd km from Melbourne allowing work to "gobble up" my free time and finding myself thinking am I like Ms Freedman??

Right now Id tend to agree with Freedman, as I sit opposite a table with two of my friends who are both on their iPhones. One is tweeting, the other Facebooking, I'm blogging and none of us is talking!

The problem with this whole issue is that inspiring articles giving us hints about how to take time out and step away from the our work are in essence not really feasible.

Leaving the laptop or iPhone behind might just make you even more stressed while on (supposed) holiday as you try to relax but keep finding yourself thinking about that email that needs responding to, that client that might walk if you don't touch base with them, that deal or project that might fall over if you don't keep the ball rolling on it, that important call you have missed as you left your mobile behind.

So what's the solution? Is it possible to find a balance?

For me it's turned into allocation of time. This holiday I've brought my laptop and mobile and I know I will be checking my email but what I've promised to myself.... and my family is every second day for 30mins I will be available for "work".

30mins-clock-in

I call it my 30min-clock-in.

So during that 30mins I will login and respond to essential emails only. I will tweet essential messages only. If something isnt essential or absolutely urgent then sorry I am not touching it.

But there is a limit to my 30min rule. No work phonecalls. I'll listen to the message but I'm not calling back. I've learned from hard experience that the very minute you call people be it clients or colleagues or business partners problems arise. It's so easy to get "dragged" back into the drama of work, deal, clients, projects, deadlines etc. Solution: no calls.

That's it. My 30mins is up and it's time to wrap up.

How do you manage your work / life balance while on holidays? Have you managed to come up with a plan to leave it all behind or do you work while on holiday?

Over to you :-)

Challenging behaviour and young children: a parents and nannies perspective

2009-08-04T10:12:00.008+10:00

Yesterday I was going through some old child development resources I have accumulated and came across a fantastic leaflet written by Meredith Martin in 2003 called "Managing Challenging Behaviour" given to me recently by son's kindergarten teacher. The paper looks at managing challenging behaviour in young children but especially preschoolers.

Now anyone who is a parent or caring for children know that at times all children can display behaviour that is 'challenging'. Things such as refusing to eat at meat times, refusing to assist in tidying up their toys, refusing to share a toy, shouting etc.

Most children will display challenging behaviour to help them adapt to a change in environments around eg moving houses or changing kindergartens etc but after a while when they adjust to the changed environment they will return to more socially acceptable behaviour.

But some times a child will continue to display 'challenging behaviour' and it is then parents may decided they need intervention.

What is challenging behaviour?

Martin describes Challenging behaviour as too much of a particular behaviour such as hitting, shouting, tantrums etc.

The challenging behaviour is nearly always challenging for a the adult (no kidding!) says Martin be it parent or nanny / babysitter but rarely for the child. In fact many times it can be actually effective for them. Hence the reason they continue to display the behaviour!

What is really interesting about Martins paper is her comment " the behaviour serves a purpose for the child and the behaviour has a "function".

In other words, parents and carers need to understand the reason(s) for the child's challenging behaviour and meet those needs in an acceptable way and thereby help the child to engage in more socially appropriate ways to get those needs met.

Martin notes that even if the child has special needs the process of managing the challenging behaviour is exactly the same.

Barbara Kaiser (30 years experience as a childcare director and teacher) and Judy Sklar Rasminsky book "Challenging Behaviour in Young Children"is quite comprehensive and defines challenging behaviour more broadly as any behaviour that:

Interferes with children's learning, development and successful play
Is harmful to the child, other children or adults.
Puts the child at high risk for later social problems or school failure.

Many behavioural specialists like to see challenging behaviours occurring in a cycle -Trigger, Escalation, Crisis, Recovery.

Managing challenging behaviour

For parents and carers using this cycle as a guide means we can look at minimising the triggers that lead to the behaviour and teaching more appropriate behaviour in response to triggers. We can also look providing consequences to the behaviour that will encourage more appropriate behaviours from the child.

Martin says the best way to encourage good behaviour is to acknowledge it. This means that parents and carers need to be positively acknowledging the child for behaviour 4 times more than reprimanding them and saying things that enhance their self concept such as "You must be so proud of yourself for cleaning up all those toys" rather than "I'm so proud of you for cleaning up your toys".

Are you a parent or nanny caring for a child with 'challenging behaviour? If so what strategies do you use to manage the behaviour? Discuss now on Babysitterdirectory Forum.

More information
Challenging behaviour in Young Children

Challenging behaviour in Young Children - Video

Children and behaviour - a few tips

References: Managing Challenging Behaviour Package 2003, Meredith Martin.

Childcare sector reforms in Australia: Have your say..

2009-07-28T09:30:00.009+10:00

If you didn't know already great and exciting changes are afoot in the corridors of the Early Childhood Education Sector in Australia. The change has been endorsed by The Council of Australian Government (COAG).

The proposed changes are the first step towards a nationally consistent child-care system.

This means that each state will have the same child-staff ratio, the same regulations, the same curriculum frame work and the same quality assessment process. Another key proposed change is to increase the quality of programming and information to parents about the quality of services.

But the good thing is right until the end of August 2009 the Government is wanting to hear what you think about the Childcare sector and the proposed reforms (more below).

What are the reforms?
The reforms are broken down into two main sections:

1. The National Early Childhood Development Strategy which aims to improve health, safety, early learning, well-being of children

2. The Early Years Learning Framework (national curriculum to guide teachers and educators in the delivery and quality of programs)

And supporting the reforms are:

- National Quality Agenda which is about continuous improvement and rating
- Consultation Regulation Impact Statement which is about providing options for families and the sector to choose from
- The Australian Government's Policy Agenda which is about working with a variety of groups to ensure child care us accessible, affordable and connecting with schools

It all sounds complicated and it is - kind of.

In summary: What the reforms mean

More child-care workers to have TAFE and university qualifications.

A greater number of workers looking after children in each centre.

Introduction of a rating system for childcare centres.

One national organisation handling quality assessment.

Have your say

COAG has agreed to commence a "formal consultation process" in July on the reforms.

You can have your say by three mains ways:

1. Attend a series of open public information sessions being held in all capital cities and a number of regional locations from 20–30 July 2009. The schedule for these sessions can be read here.

2. Email your thoughts, ideas and concerns and to: ECECQuality@deewr.gov.au until close of business (Australian Eastern Standard Time) Monday 31 August 2009. (Don't be later than this or from what the website says they will not accept submissions).

3. Complete an online survey. The survey for parents is here. The survey for childcare stakeholders is here.

If you are a parent or an expecting parent, grandparent, concerned aunt/uncle or stakeholder and often find yourself griping about how your childcare centre works, or what they childcare sector in Australia does or doesn't do and what you would wish would happen, then now is the time to share your thoughts.

What are your thoughts on the changes? Do you think they are good? Are there any issues you feel need further attention? Discuss now on Babysitterdirectory Forum.

More information

Video of the launch of the National Early Childhood Development Strategy
Council of Australian Governments website

{Image: Dept of Education, Employment & Workplace Relations website]

Is my child ready for school? The big school readiness debate

2009-07-21T11:27:00.005+10:00

Yes folks it's that time of year again.

The time when parents all across Australia need to decide if there child is ready to start school (Prep) in 2010 or would be better off doing another year of 4 year old kindy.

It's the time when applications soon need to be lodged for a second year of 4 year old kindy and more important exploration with the kindergarten teachers of whether this pathway is even viable or possible.

Over the last week I've spoken to three different parents all in angst about the decision. All these parents had invariably a child who is younger (born in Jan/Feb/Mar) and a boy.

All of these parents had spoken to their kindy teacher, the school, other parents, family, friends but at the end of the day the fact remained. The decision is up to these parents about whether to send their child to school next year or not. Parents can often find themselves having to make this decision without really knowing all the facts or even when they do know a lot of the facts without been really clear on what's best for their child.

Of course if there are any major concerns with a child the kindergarten teacher would no doubt have already spoken to parents and alerted them to the pathways ahead. But for parents simply with a child who is young and perhaps a boy popular opinion appears to be delay entry to school. And parents can often find themselves caught in the middle.

On the one hand there is educational experts such as Kathy Walker and Associates who lean towards delaying school entry (see some articles below). On the other hand there is Prof Helen McGrath Adjunct Professor at the School of Education in Deakin University and University associate professor Andrew Martin, who appear to lean towards not delaying school entry unless it's medically necessary.

So what are parents to do?

At Babysitterdirectory we have recognised this as an issue concerning many parents and we have available some excellent resources both on site and below that parents can refer to in their decision making process.

Further reading
"Holding them back" or delaying entry" : the big school readiness debate
Does my child need a second year of kindergarten?
What's the Fuss about School Readiness? - Kathy Walker
When Children are Not Ready for School - Jenny Chinn
Ready or Not? - Paula Silveira
School readiness & early transitions
Study links school entry delay to poor performance

Are you a parent deciding on whether to send your child to school in 2010? Perhaps you have had this experience and have some observations to share. You can discuss this issue now with other parents and carers at the Babysitterdirectory Forum.

Nannies and Babysitters: What's the difference?

2009-07-14T10:34:00.005+10:00

What's the difference between a nanny and a babysitter or better still is there a difference?

This is the question that presented itself to us when a woman rang asking for assistance to complete her babysitter profile on Babysitterdirectory.com.au. She was enthusiastic and keen to find a "babysitter job" as soon as possible.

She had moved to Australia recently from SE Asia with her family and was looking for a babysitter position, or so she said. Given her lack of fluency in English she asked for some assistance completing the registration form.

She kept referring to her desire to get a "babysitter job" but when we asked her what times in the evening she was available or whether it was during the weekend or weekdays she was interested in working she made it clear that she was looking for a day job not a night job and had no desire to work on weekends. She was also very experienced having worked as a nanny for several years overseas.

She then asked the very apt question. "What's the difference between a babysitter and nanny"?

It is a simply question and one that surprised me that we have not been asked or responded to this question before.

It feels like there is an assumption that everyone will have the same understanding of what a babysitter or nanny is and what they do when obviously this is not always the case.

For parents particularly when dealing with people from other cultures it becomes more important to be absolutely clear about what position you are trying to fill (babysitter or nanny) and what are the differences between these two related but distinct jobs.

Below are just some basic differences between babysitters and nannies:

Babysitters

Basically their key job is to ensure the safety of a child(ren) while the main carer is not available. This can entail ensuring they are fed, bathed and safe.

Generally a babysitter does a simplified task, looking after children while they are asleep in evening when parents have to work or go out. They may if need be assist with feeding children a light meal and preparing them for bed.

Hours are usually shorter anywhere from two to four or five hours.

Babysitting can be a regular event or it can be something that happens casually every month for example.

Babysitters are generally less qualified as they tasks and activities they are expected to undertake with the child(ren) are less. Basically their job is to ensure the safety of the child.

They are generally paid less and may or may not pay taxes on the money earned. Babysitting tends to be something a person combines along with another occupation or study. They usually have a day job or jobs or are studying and babysitting is another way for them to earn additional income.

Nannies

A nanny is someone who usually works during the day and is responsible not just for the physical safety of the child but also for ensuring that they are supported, cared for and nurtured during the time of care.

A nanny will have a broader range of tasks to complete than a babysitter, perhaps ranging from cleaning of family areas, bathing of kids, assistance with toileting of kids, driving kids to school, activities, playdates and relevant appointments, reading with / to child(ren), arts and crafts, outdoor play, taking child(ren)to playgroup and kinder gym for example.

Nannies are usually more qualified and experienced than babysitters having childcare qualifications, first aid certificates, allergy and anaphylaxis training.

Hours are usually longer ranging from 4 hours to 40 hours (full time nanny) per week.

As nannies usually work during the day it means that the nanny is more likely to be engaged in a position that is their dominant occupation and consequently this means that they pay taxes.

Can you think of any difference that we have missed? Discuss on the Babysitterdirectory Forum now.

On Twitter it's not who you are, its what you say and do that matters...

2009-07-09T11:24:00.006+10:00

Those of you who follow me on Twitter (@babysitterdirec) know that I'm a little bit partial to the odd bit of social media especially Facebook and Twitter.

So it was with interest I read a tweet today from @AgooAustralia - via @thePOSHpreneur -- asking Tweeple to list some of their favourite brands using Twitter.

Now that got me thinking about my favourite brands on Twitter but first I did a quick Google on the question of favourite brands on Twitter and came up with, unsurprisingly, lots of articles written on the topic.

Many of the articles, such as that written by the website Mashable , the social media guide - just listed some of the more dominant brands in the US market.

Brands like Ford, Chevrolet, General Motors, Honda, JetBlue and Hertz were listed as companies who were in the list of "40 of the Best Twitter Brands and the People Behind Them" with what appears to be the assumption that just because these large global companies have been successful in "traditional" media (TV, Radio) it must mean that they are brands who are innovative and brilliant to follow on Twitter.

My guess is not so.

Reading through the above list most of the people tweeting on behalf of these companies are just your normal everyday ...well tweeter. For example - we've got the "PR guy for Chevrolet Corvette", "super social head of social media at Ford" and "Alicia Jones,
she works in Corporate Affairs and Communications for the American division...". It's hardly the CEO of Ford or the CEO of Chevrolet micro-blogging now is it? And even if it was I don't automatically think that this means that the way this company uses Twitter or other social media is going to be fantastically innovative, interesting or groundbreaking.

So when I see a list proposing to outline the "40 of the Best Twitter Brands and the People Behind Them" I want to see a list of Tweeple who are using tweeter in really interesting ways.

I don't care if the Tweeter is the head of a large multinational company or the maker of small children's wooden toys , an artist or even a "lone" tweeter or blogger. As the saying goes it's not who you are, its what you say and do that matters.

Who are your favourite brands on Twitter and most importantly why?

Over to you. :-)

When Granny is Nanny...

2009-07-07T13:50:00.003+10:00

Grandparents have always played an important role in families but over the last few decades with the return of many women to work after the birth of a child, many grandparents have found themselves having to take on a new role - that of the granny nanny.

Recent research has show that Australian grandparents are the biggest providers of informal
child care for children between birth and 12 years, but particularly for babies and toddlers while
their parents are in the workforce or studying (Australian Bureau of Statistics [ABS], 2006).

Managing differing viewpoints between parents and nannies over child rearing practices such as nutrition, toileting or discipline for example, are relatively easy when the nanny is a paid employee of the family.

Parents and the nanny can talk through the concerns and issues, with both parties knowing at the end of the day it really is the parents who have the final say.

When the nanny is a grandparent however the disagreements may not be quite so easy to manage or resolve from both parents and grandparents viewpoints, because emotional relationships, unresolved issues and family dynamics are factors at play and can lead to disagreements.

Sometimes the relationship between all parties concerned can become so muddy that the parent - nanny relationship completely breaks down.

Yesterday I spoke to a parent who typified the complexity of this issue.

The woman registered on Babysitterdirectory seeking a part time nanny for her two young children. She had recently separated from her husband and was looking for a nanny so that she could continue to work. The woman's mother lives interstate and so cannot be relied on for assistance. And due to the friction with her ex-husband the woman's relationship with her (ex) mother-in law who is currently the "granny nanny" has deteriorated so much that the felt the situation was becoming untenable and she was better employing the services of a nanny (or investigating daycare) rather than constantly have to put up with ongoing friction and clashing on every child rearing issue with her mother in law.

Why grandparents nanny?

Many grandparent may be caring for their grandchild(ren) to assist their child through a redundancy or job search. They maybe doing it as the childcare options are limited or expensive or they maybe doing it as they feel they burden of expectation to play a great role in the child rearing of their grandchild(ren).

Whatever the reason for a grandparent caring for a child it is often this lack of exchange of money between parents and grandparents that can make the whole issue so complex and fraught with potential conflict.

For the grandparent there maybe the unspoken assumption that "I care for my grandchild for no financial return and I am happy to do this but the least I am entitled to is to have some say on child rearing practices in general or at least child rearing practices when I am caring for them".

For parents there maybe the unspoken assumption that "you are my parent and my child is your grandchild you should want to care for him/her - at no cost - and should respect the fact that I am the parent and have the final say on child rearing practices. In fact you should respect it so much you should not even feel the need to comment on it!"

Tips

If you are in a parent / grandparent - nanny relationship its worth considering the following:

You may not be financially compensating the grandparent but you should express your thanks in some way meaningful to them. For example trying saying to a grandparent "Thank you so much for your help. What can we do to express our gratitude?". If this doesn't work perhaps trying purchasing a gift for them e.g a weekend trip away.
Agree to areas of responsibilities. For example parents might agree that when on the days a grandparent is caring for a child s/he has the final say on nutrition provided through the day.
Write down what is bothering you and talk through concerns in a calm and non confrontational way before the issue reaches crisis point. For example if you pick your child up and its clear your child has been watching TV for a long time then speak to the grandparent immediately in a calm and rational manner and ideally not with your child present. Explain that you would rather your child only watch a little - say a half and hour to an hour of TV per day and no more. Outline some activities that you would prefer they do instead. Not addressing an issue when it concerns you means it can only build up to boiling point at some later stage.
If conflict is continuing and the parent-carer/grandparent relationship does not seem to be working then perhaps its time to look at reducing the caring role undertaken by the grandparent. Instead of your child been cared for them full time or three days a week perhaps look at reducing the hours to one day a week and mixing the care up with either paid daycare or nanny. Remember when a grandparent has to much responsibility for caring for a grandchild/ren the relationship there is the danger that the grandparent / grandchild relationship can lose its "magical element" ( AFRC, 2006)
Remember both of you have the child's best interest at heart and owe it to them to resolve your issues. Secure attachments to both parents and grandparents is important for children and as parents and grandparents need always to remember this.

The Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse research found that grandparents had four types of care giving experiences - avid caregivers (their life revolves around their grandparents), flexible (concerned about their grandchild but recognise importance of personal time) ; selective caregivers (do not want to be defined as grandparents); and finally hesitant grandparents (do not want to be responsible for care giving of grandchildren).

Grandparents who were born outside Australia were more likely to be "avid caregivers".

So what type of caregiver is your parent? Is this an issue that affects you? How do you deal with the parent / grandparent relationship?

Over to you :-)

You can discuss this issue now on the Forum.

More information
"The Changing Role of Grandparents", The Australian Family Relationships Clearinghouse, November 2006.(AFRC)

Are we in danger of over scheduling our children's lives?

2009-07-01T09:56:00.007+10:00

It's day three of school holidays and this morning my 6 year old looked at me and asked "what are we going to do today Mum?".

I looked at her for a long time thinking with horror that somehow unknown to me I have obviously become the type of parent that feels a need to fill their child's holiday time up with endless activities so that they can be "occupied" and not "get bored".

On Monday, the first day of holiday, she came with me to a meeting and on the way back we stopped at a beach and had a play and a snack. Yesterday she spent the day at a friends and was taken to the Museum. Tomorrow another friend is coming for a play date (while her mum goes to a meeting) and on Friday probably the school holiday vacation program.

But today nothing is planned! Shock, horror a whole day of no planned activities.

For the last week I have read blogs with details on how to occupy kids during the holidays - suggestions for art activities, crafts to occupy them, free events and activities in the city, suggestions for child friendly dishes to cook and cakes to bake. The list goes on.

I can't help but think back to when I was growing up how I don't ever recall my parents sitting down doing art and crafts activities with us. I don't recall being taken to free events in the local town to occupy me or my siblings (in fact I don't even think such events existed) and heaven forbid I don't remember play dates being arranged for me. In fact I only heard the word "play date" when I moved to Australia and had kids!

What I do remember is holidays spent playing with my siblings and nearby neighbours. Board games, table tennis, cowboys and Indians all come to mind. And of course lots of reading of books while the wind and rain howled outside.

It seems parents back then just expected that we as kids were more than capable of organising and entertaining ourselves. More importantly parents did not seem to think it was their job to "entertain" their offspring.

Somehow we seem to have lost the confidence in our kids being able to be just kids.

As parents we seem to feel the need to intervene as if we are obsessed with our kids. We hover over them during school holidays setting up crafts and paints and boxes meanwhile"guiding" them along an activity. We arrange play dates and schedule outings and tick off activities for each day feeling content that they are occupied and stimulated during the holidays.

We as a society are in danger of creating a generation with limited imagination as they have limited chance to just be. Limited chance to use their imagination and creativity. We are in danger of creating kids unable to live without stimulation and in this hyper communication world we live in, surely this can't be a good thing.

What are your thoughts? Share them on our forum .

Homebirth: A Question Of Choice?

2009-06-30T11:54:00.005+10:00

Now, this is a very passionate and potentially devisive topic I am going to stick my toe into - with some trepidation - but after reading a letter by musicianClare Bowditch yesterday (see below) which clearly shows this issue is back on the agenda (had it ever left?) I felt compelled to write about it.

The topic is home births and whether as a society we should continue to support women to chose this birth option.

What is a homebirth?
A home birth is a birth that is planned to occur at home not in a hospital or birthing centre. There are two types of home births - attended where a midwife for example is present or unattended (or freebirth) where it is the woman alone or with her partner and / or family and friends and / or perhaps a birth attendant called a doula. In Australia less than 1 per cent of babies are delivered at home.

Changes by government threaten home birth option for women
Yesterday, I came across an article (or as she called it an "open letter") from Australian Musician and ARIA award winner Clare Bowditch. Clare posted an open letter to the Federal Minister for Health & Aging, Minister Nicola Roxon who has proposed a bill that excludes homebirth from insurance schemes for midwives and effectively makes it impossible for women to choose homebirth as a birthing option.

The letter was in response to a recent review of the country's maternity services recommended the Federal Government overhaul the power given to midwives. If accepted by Nicola Roxon's department, some midwives could be given access to benefits doctors have - like Medicare, drug prescribing rights and professional indemnity insurance. But the review has made it clear midwives who assist in homebirths should not be supported as a mainstream birth option, (ABC Mothers Defend Right to Homebirth, April 2009)

In response the mother of seven and secretary of Homebirth Australia Justine Caines said “...it is unacceptable and unsafe to force a woman into a choice that is not optimal for her, whether that is a hospital birth or a birth at home without midwifery support. It is absolutely impossible to understand the government’s position on this, other than to say that they have bowed to political pressure from medical lobby groups.”

Home births as irresponsible?
Only in April an article that appeared in the Daily Telegraph by Fiona Connolly and titled "Home births are irresponsible" reported how Bronwyn Hale, a midwife and the womens health adviser for Medecins Sans Frontieres Australia's Project Unit in a recent discussion paper suggested "that many Somali women still prefer to risk their lives on a trek(where they can get shot and killed) to hospital in exchange for the safe delivery of their child".

Connolly went onto report that four babies died in childbirth in Sydney (however according to the Homebirthservices website these figures are unconfirmed) in the last nine months and that "no hippie reasoning is able to convince me that parents who home birth are placing the good of their child first. They are clearly thinking only of themselves". She ends by saying "Home births are selfish, irresponsible, anti-reason and anti-progress. Australia's maternal mortality ratio is 8.4 per 100,000 compared to Somali where 1400 women for every 100,000 die during childbirth".

Clearly we know on what side of the fence Fiona Connolly sits on.

And along with her appears to sit Dr Ted Weaver from the Royal Australian and New Zealand College of Obstetrics and Gynaecologists who said "There's no point going through a beautiful birth experience at home if you deliver a baby that's dead or harmed as a result of that birth." (ABC Mothers Defend Right to Home birth, April 2009.

Home birth as safe
But the fact is for many women home birth remains the best choice for them.

Some because they strongly believe that birth is not a medical condition and a hospital is not the correct place to go through this experience, others because of the need to birth in a familiar environment.

In a study published in the US Journal of Midwifery and Women's Health women were asked reasons they had chosen a home birth. The five main reasons given were:

safety;
avoidance of unnecessary medical interventions common in hospital births;
previous negative hospital experiences;
more control; and
a comfortable and familiar environment.

Home births Australia have said that "the facts we have from the latest Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (published in 2008), indicate that 708 women had planned home births in Australia in 2006 (0.3%) and there were no deaths reported amongst these births. In this same year 2730 babies died - most of them in Australian hospitals."

Personally I have had three children in hospital. Home birth was not an option that I or my husband considered not because the pregnancies were high risk but because my fear of something going pear shaped and not being near to a hospital outweighed my desire to have a "natural" birth.

Like I said earlier birthing is such a personal experience that it's next to impossible not to have your own personal experiences influence your decision or thoughts on the issue.

But surely what the main concern should be is that some women will feel so strongly on the issue of home birth that they will choose a home birth regardless and so be "forced" into a freebirth / unattended birth experience (i.e birthing at home with no midwife present as they cannot obtain a midwife willing to attend the birth) with the potential bill changes and the dangers that this potentially presents to the child and the mother is terrible.

Therefore the 'solution' to this issue cannot just be either or.

In 2007 the UK Royal College Of Obstetricians And Gynaecologists issued a joint statement At The Royal College Of Midwives Annual Conference. It said:

"We encourage normal birth and the specialty is behind the pledge to offer women more choice. This choice includes home birth or delivery in birthing units or the option to deliver in hospitals with the support of a full maternity team of midwives, obstetricians, neonatologists and anaesthetists."

"With rising birth rates across the country, what we need are better resources for midwives,
who are able to call upon the expertise of obstetricians when complications develop.
This means more maternity staff in our hospitals to run a safe and efficient service.
Innovative ways of working and re-organisation of services need to be carefully worked out specially with the reduction of working hours of junior doctors from 2009.

I couldn't have said it better myself.

Over to you you? What your thought on home births? Share your experiences and thoughts on our forum.

More information
Journal of Midwifery & Women's Health.
Some excellent articles here, albeit a little academic about birthing, birth choices and midwives role.

The business of being born
A US documentary film from executive producer Ricki Lake and Director Abby Epstein

Homebirth: A Midwife Mutiny
Informative blog by SA midwife, Lisa Barrett

Home Midwifery Qld

SBS Insight - Birth
Watch the SBS Insight program on Birth

Campaign for Normal birth
Website by the US based Royal College of Midwives

Image: 4th Chapter illustration. A woman giving birth on a birth chair by Eucharius Rösslin
a German physician who authored a book about childbirth called Der Rosengarten ("The Rose Garden") in 1513, which became a standard medical text for midwives.

Launch of a dedicated online social networking community for Australian babysitters and nannies

2009-06-26T10:18:00.004+10:00

This week Babysitterdirectory.com.au launched a dedicated online social networking community, the Australian Nanny Network, where babysitters and nannies can chat and share knowledge, information and tips around childcare, nannying, babysitting and related issues.

The inspiration for the network was the fact that unlike other professions currently in Australia there are no peak professional association for nannies and babysitters that leads and represents the nanny and babysitting profession.

There is no recognisable professional association or group that promotes nannying in Australia locally and internationally and that delivers and develops life-long learning and knowledge to nannies and babysitters.

So when babysitters and nannies need someone to talk to to discuss their work contracts, superannuation, difficulties at work, training and professional development or even searching for a Nanny Mentor there really is no one available to do this, apart from the ear of a friend or partner. This is where the Australian Nanny Network will come in.

Given that there are literally thousands of nannies and babysitters working right across Australia, many of whom are working in informal settings and casual employment arrangements, it is difficult to estimate the potential reach of the Australian Nanny Network. However given that within two hours of launching the Australian Nanny Network we had 30 members, making us think that there really is a need for a social networking community like this.

Join the Australian Nanny Network here.
[Note: At the moment the Network is open only to registered babysitters and nannies of Babysitterdirectory (registration is free for babysitters and nannies) though in time this may change].

Quality of Life Entrepreneurs And Risk Taking

2009-06-23T09:35:00.003+10:00

Can you be an entrepreneur without taking a risk?

This is the prickly question that I found myself discussing at the weekend when I caught up with some friends for dinner. And having launched Babysitterdirectory.com.au just over a year ago it was a queston I found intriguing.

We were a varied bunch around the table with backgrounds in online, urban planning, retail, design, chemical engineering, finance and IT and cultural backgrounds ranging from SE Asia to Sweden, Ireland and Australia.

Yet the common element that a large percentage of the people had around the table was a strong desire to bring to life a business concept they felt would not only succeed but more importantly was not being addressed elsewhere. In short most had a desire to be an entrepreneur.

Granted some at the table were already running established businesses or else (like myself) in the throes of establishing their start up. But many at the table were working in 9-5 jobs and dreaming of a way out. There was a desire not to be "just" an employee executing someone else's vision but to be an active creator of one's own vision.

As I listened to my friends articulate their vision of new business ventures they dreamed of establishing I was struck by one thing:

If you dream of becoming an entrepreneur can you do it without taking a risk? And if you still want to bring to life your business idea but are not prepared to take a huge risk [and by huge risk I mean sink your house or a large share of your savings into your business idea] does this mean that you are excluded from the definition of 'entrepreneur'?

The Entrepreneur

First let's define an 'entrepreneur'.

This is a person who starts a business venture and assumes significant accountability for the risks and the outcome.

Jean-Baptiste Say, a french economist, is believed to have first coined the word 'Entrepreneur' in the 1800's. He's the man credited with Say's Law of Markets, which is often quoted as "supply creates its own demand" or "if you build it they will come". [Mind you he might not be able to take full credit for this with the a passage in the Bible saying "As goods increase, so do those who consume them. And what benefit are they to the owner except to feast his eyes on them?"].

Entrepreneur personality

There is said to be an 'entrepreneur personality'.It only takes a quick Google on the word to see that there is a lot of information out there about the "entrepreneur personality". This is said to be someone who is resourceful, energetic, who enjoy problem solving and looking at possibilities as well as making decisions. Entrepreneurs are said to be born leaders, inspiring and leading others.

Our classic image of an entrepreneur is a go-getter, a person not afraid to take risks, a visionary inspiring and leading others. But not everyone can or is like this.

Type of entrepreneurs

Recently I've spoken to a lot of small business owners, many owned and established by women and work at home mums or dads, and the common theme is a desire to execute their own ideas, to be Mistresses of their own destiny, but with an unwillingness to take the risk to bring their idea to fruition, an unwillingness to become a slave to the idea and having to work ridiculous hours to achieve some return. Many have just simply said "I just want to earn enough so I don't have to work for someone else and I can be there for my kids. I don't want to make millions".

This "type" of entrepreneur is interesting.

I can't seem to find him or her defined in the books or the typical articles on entrepreneurs. If they are described it is as a freelancer or business owner rather than an entrepreneur as succinctly described by Valerie Khoo in a recent The Age blog. And they are described in such a way that it implies that they are somehow 'lacking' and need to be 'transformed' and move up to the next level of entrepreneur.

Indeed NSW based Louise Woodbury author of The Invisible Entrepreneur has even divided the entrepreneur into four parts:
The technical entrepreneur - someone who creates a business due to their skills
. The manager entrepreneur - the manager of the business
. The ideas entrepreneur - our stereotypical notion of the entrepreneur with ideas, energy and vision
. The investor entrepreneur - someone sourcing the business to keep the wheels of the venture turning.

Risk taking and entrepreneurs

The fact is no entrepreneur knows if their venture will succeed. There are too many variables at work to crystal ball this question. Your product or service could be fantastic, your research could be impeccable but during the course of getting the product or service to market the economic and social environment may change so much that it significantly alters the factors influencing the success of your business venture.

So back to the question, if you dream of becoming an entrepreneur can you do it without taking a risk?

The answer I believe is No.

No entrepreneur knows if their venture will succeed. And the fact you don't know if it will succeed means you are taking a risk putting your time, energy and money [even if this money is time you could spend doing 'paid'work] into a business idea that may sink.

If you are not prepared to take any risk whatsoever, then maybe you need to realise that being an entrepreneur maybe just not your thing. Remember ideas are easy to find, its the execution of the ideas that is the important thing.

And secondly if you want to bring to life your business idea but are not prepared to take a huge risk [and by this I mean sink your house into your business idea] does this mean that you are excluded from the definition of 'entrepreneur'?

Once again I think the answer is no.

There are lots of different types of entrepreneurs and not everyone is the high risk taking throw-all -and-sundry-into-my-business-idea type. Some people want to take baby steps in growing their business and know exactly what they have to spend before making growing their business further. Most importantly, some people just want to earn a decent living doing something that they like and that they can control without they need to have a cast of a thousand employees or build a publicly listed company.

I like to call these the Quality of Life Entrepreneurs.

So to all those would be entrepreneurs out there, what kind are you?

Over to you :-)

[Note: Despite the talk that Australia is in recession and many established businesses are reporting they will be cutting staff the Business Enterprise Centre (BEC) in Sydney's eastern suburbs, says the centre has been busier than ever with requests for information on starting up a business. (Our next Wave of Entrepreneurs, The Age , 22 April 2009).]

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Shared expectations: Nannies caring for sick children in the home

2009-06-16T12:06:00.006+10:00

While waiting in the emergency department of my local hospital this morning with my daughter [who we thought had a suspected case of Swine Flu but thankfully it appears to be nothing more than a bad viral infection but of course we need to wait and see...] I happened across the following article in the paper - Swine Flu forces workers to take unpaid leave.

The article desribed how the flu is closing schools and childcare centres across Australia, and how working parents are forced to take time off to stay home with their children. The Federal Government has responded by warning employers to prepare for a 30 to 50 per cent staff absentee rate at the peak of a flu pandemic.

The Government has also suggested that businesses consider helping key staff by "establish[ing] childcare arrangements for children of essential workers in their own homes with pre-screening of carers and children". They have also suggested that companies need to "establish leave and remuneration policies" for staff who cannot- or who do not want to - come to work.

Locate emergency nannies on Babysitterdirectory

Last week Babysitterdirectory.com.au launched a facility where babysitters and nannies can indicate on their profiles their interest in emergency or short notice (>48hrs) and casual positions.

By all accounts it seems to be popular with many of our newly registering nanny and babysitter members ticking the box saying they are interested in hearing from parents about these type of positions.

But there are some questions that parents need to consider when talking about the issue of caring for sick children.

Shared expectations are important

One of the advantages of parents having a nanny as opposed to sending their child to childcare is the expectation that when the child is sick the nanny can care for the child in the home while both parents continue to go to work.

However what is important here is that this expectation is shared by both parents and the nanny.

What this means is that parents need to speak to their nanny about this issue before their child is sick. Everyone needs to be clear about what will happen on the days when the child or children are sick.

It maybe that your nanny may say that they are not comfortable caring for your child when s/he is sick or that they would rather not care for a child who is sick in case they also get sick. In these circumstances parents need to talk calmly through with their nanny possible solutions and compromises for both parties.

It maybe that the nanny would feel comfortable caring for the mildly sick child but not the child with a roaring temperature who is absolutely miserable.

Parents and nannies also need to agree on what the care arrangements look like for the days the child is sick. Will the nanny be expected to care for the child all day or just part of the day? Will the parents just attend essential meetings or go to work for the entire day?

Sometimes a child might be so sick that all they want is their Mum or Dad. It doesn't matter that they know Kate the Nanny and adore her, when children are ill they often just want care and attention from the people they love most and feel safest with - Mum and Dad.

Be realistic

Also parents need to consider the Nanny.

Leaving a Nanny to care for a sick child - especially a baby or young child - for eight hours or more with a temperature of 39C who is crying continually all day for their mum or dad is both stressful and unfair to the Nanny. Particularly as s/he may not get any respite and/or may have to care for other children at the same time.

As such parents might want to consider:

1. Come to an agreement with your nanny on how to deal with days when your child is sick before your child become sick.

2.Consider not going to work for the whole day but possibly just attending the essential meetings or part of the meeting you need to attend and then return home.

2. Juggle the care between Mum and Dad. For example Mum goes to work early and leaves early bringing work home to finish. Dad works at home in the morning and then goes to the office when mum comes home. Meanwhile the Nanny is available to take care of the child while Mum or Dad work from home but are nearby to give cuddles as and when needed. This way your child gets the support and care they need, while working parents get to do the work they need to do.

3. If both parents need to attend work all day consider asking a trusted neighbour, friend or family member who is available to come in and take over from the Nanny for a short while so the Nanny can at least have a break during the day.

4. Share with your employer before your child gets sick what your plan and expectation is for dealing with illness in your family. Many employers are now open to allowing you to work from home. But if you do not have a nanny think carefully if you can work and manage a sick child at the same time.

Need an emergency nanny - be prepared

For parents who do not normally use nannies but instead use daycare for their child(ren) consider thinking about what you will do if your child gets sick. Once again having a plan is important.

If you think you may not be able to take time off from work to care for your child or think you may need to work at least for part of the day, you may want to consider contacting and interviewing some emergency nannies. That way if a time comes in the near future that you need an emergency nanny you actually have an emergency nanny , who you have met and screened, to contact.

You might also want to chat with your employer about the possibility of them subsidizing the expense of emergency childcare. Sometimes en employer will help pay for the care so as to keep a key employee from missing an important meeting.

A question of balance

Using a nanny or emergency nanny to care for our children when they are sick is without doubt essential for many working parents and companies. But balance and perspective about what is important is also needed both individually and as a society on this issue.

We should not lose sight of the fact that one of the strongest memories many of us have as children is how we were looked after at home when we were sick. Having mum or dad care for us, perhaps bringing us up some hot chicken soup to drink or letting us lie on the couch with a blanket over us watching a favourite movie with some ice cream, are memories that live long after the sniffles, runny nose and aching joints have gone.

Over to you :-)

More information

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