In one of his recent posts, leadership authority, Dan Rockwell wrote:

“If you know more than everyone on your team, you have a weak team.”

True leaders not only accept smarter/more knowledgeable people on their team, they seek them out. They purposely surround themselves with people who are either overall more capable or are at least so in specific areas.

Positional leaders (those simply in a position of authority), on the other hand, tend to be very dependent upon their position and authority for their self-esteem. As a result, any perceived threat to such will be defended against — either consciously or unconsciously — and sabotaged either by overt or covert means.

True leaders liberally credit these talented team members for all the value they provide to the organization, as well as to the leader himself/herself. They also actively look for ways to allow these people to lead and to shine.

While leaders (“with or without titles” – as my friends Mark Sanborn and Robin Sharma would say) can come from anywhere within an organization, I’ve always found the culture of an organization to begin at the top and trickle down. When leadership at the top is guarded and defensive, that’s typically what will be found throughout. The opposite is also true.

Only a leader with character, competence and confidence desires to be surrounded by those he or she deems to be in some way(s) their superior. And they tend to have very strong teams as a result.

What do you think? Any examples come to mind?

As the light turned green, a car heading in my direction caused me to wait before making my left turn. Suddenly, before he reached me, he turned left and was on his way. Never signaled. Had he done so, as would have been appropriate, I could have taken my left a bit quicker.

No big deal. So, why do I bring this up?

Because, I caught myself thinking the worst of him. “Why didn’t he signal!?” “What an inconsiderate jerk!?” “Rude!” “Did he do that just to tick me off or was he just so wrapped up in himself that he didn’t care to signal!?”

Then, I caught myself. I realized I was assuming the worst without knowing anything for sure.

How could I possibly know that his non-signal had anything whatsoever to do with any mal-intent? And, who does it serve to assume it did? Certainly, not I. As for him, if it was, he didn’t care. And, if it wasn’t, he wouldn’t know it bothered me anyway.

The point: Why not judge favorably? Most people, at least most of the time, are pretty decent and don’t mean any harm. Not to mention it’s healthier for us to think the best of others.

It’s also more practical!

I mean, think about it. The other driver could have been thoughtless or inconsiderate.

Or…

He could have been in deep thought about a family challenge.

He could have been on the way to the hospital (which is around the corner) and thinking about the sick relative he was on the way to visit.

He’s about to be foreclosed upon and was in deep thought about his options.

He was on the phone and couldn’t reach his turn signal.

Or a huge variety of additional reasons.

Most of these possible reasons are in no way justifiable excuses for not signaling. However, any of them would certainly depersonalize what he did as well as show that it was due to human error rather than any type of negative intent.

Have you ever misjudged someone’s intent and later found out you were wrong? Has someone ever done that to you?

And, even if we really never do find out what the person’s intent truly was, why not just judge favorably? It hurts no one, helps everyone, and simply makes a lot more sense.

If you subscribe to the Prosperity Blog published by my friend, Randy Gage, you are familiar with his story. He went from a drug-abusing, high school dropout who would serve time in prison for breaking and entering, to a business failure foreclosed upon by the IRS and about as financially down-and-out as a person could be…to a hugely successful entrepreneur who now teaches others how to tap into their abundance.

Randy is part of my MasterMind group and I can tell you he is “the real deal.” He has written that the first thing he did on his journey to success was to make the decision to change. Next was to study abundance. The third was to act on this new information. Obviously, he did it. The results speak for themselves.

So, in the Comments section of one of his recent posts he was asked a question. A simple question. A good question. It was:

“Randy, on your journey from dishwasher to multimillionaire were there ever times when you thought you’d never make it, that you were just fooling yourself? Where your riches and all the good stuff just seemed too far away?”

He replied:

“There were many times I was frustrated and wondering if things would ever work.  But I stayed with it and finally broke through.”

A very simple answer. And, in my opinion, a profound one. So many people who read a book, take a course, or watch a video about becoming abundant and financially successful (or reaching any particular goal they choose to pursue) believe that this climb to success happens quickly and with no doubts. And that if they doubt, that means they are not really believing.

Not true. We are human. We have doubts. And, when things don’t go exactly as we’d like them to, or as fast as we’d like (and do they ever?) we question our decisions.

This is natural. So, how can we overcome it?

I believe the key is to understand in advance that you will have doubts. So, allow yourself to have them. And, do the thing anyway. Rather than letting the doubts stop you, decide to work through them… and do so.

What do you think? Have you found this to be true? And, how do you handle your doubts?

Recently, I saw a “tweet” suggesting that one should __________ rather than ___________. (So as not to identify the author, blanks have been used in place of the actual words.)

When presented with these two choices, most people would instinctively think just the opposite, as did I.

At first, anyway. But, then I thought perhaps the tweeter was correct after all. Or, was he? I kept going back and forth. And, then I realized where I was off the mark.

As usual, the “False Dilemma” (the unnecessary use of the word, “or”) was in play. It wasn’t an “either/or” but rather an “and.” Both were important and both were possible.

What I did was allow myself to be drawn into the frame that is so easy to be drawn into: when given a choice between two correct responses…believing those choices are the only two choices and that they are exclusive.

Suggestion: Regardless of whether the context is a philosophical tweet or a present conversation or situation in which you’d rather not have to make a choice, ask yourself:

“Are these actually the only two choices I have? Really? Could there be another one that the person does not want me to know? Or, perhaps one that simply doesn’t readily present itself?

Whatever the case…to the degree you can think — not outside the box but — “outside the False Dilemma” that you’ve intentionally or unintentionally been given, you can accomplish much greater results.

Question: what are some False Dilemmas you see being promoted either intentionally or unintentionally, and/or what false dilemmas have you overcome? This could prove to be insightful and save us all a lot of time in the future.

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Recently, on my Facebook page I posted the following:

Trying to influence another person without first eliciting trust is as futile as…as…darn, hate when I can’t come up with a clever ending.
So, how would YOU end that sentence?

Responses ranged from funny to profound; many of them both. Here they are…

Dave Ferguson assuming your a leader just because your in a management position?

Tom Cooper cleaning the house when you have small children!

Brant Elsberry trying to cook a great meal without buying groceries.

Beth Bridges ‎… as resisting the Borg?

Tom Cooper Taking on an aircraft carrier while armed only with a squirt gun?

Erika Anderson herding cats.

Deb Krier Trying to push a rope uphill!

Tom Childrey as trying to teach a pig to sing, which wastes your time and truly annoys the pig.

Beth Bridges ‎… making a permanently selfish person become a good networker. (Hmm, that’s still under construction but you get the gist?)

Jon White trying to develop sales or recruits on social media pages or chat rooms by spamming.

Tom Cooper trying to write software without a computer!

Tom Cooper trying to drive without gas….

Chandler Peterson trying to get a teen to clean their room…

Paul Franklin Your appendix.

Michelle Larson Stimpson ‎…trying to listen to “Miracles” without singing along.

Susan Castle Trying to get a five year old to try broccoli!

Robert Michele Gorden ‎… as putting lipstick on a pig! (You still have a pig)

Paul Franklin Spamming.

Kyle Wilson putting business cards on car windshields to sell a seminar.

Kim White As my dear friend Judy used to say, like trying to heat water in chocolate teapot.

Sandra Fry Trying to plow a field with just a plow and no tractor.

Doug N Joyce Morgan ‎…trying to tell a two-year old what to do.

Dennis Talluto pushing rope up a hill!

Michelle Goddard trying to skate on a lake before it freezes?

Max Fleischer fishing while sounding a horn.

Steve Eanes believing you will have a successful storybook marriage after winning the Bachelor or Bachelorette reality show.

Richard Wilson herding cats.

Karen Thornton trying to nail jello to a tree.

Sue Henry expecting the wheat to grow where it hasn’t been planted.

Volney F. Morin Jr like trying to shoot a free throw without the basketball.

Elaine Kibler is a futile as harvesting a crop when you planted no seed!

Will Nicholas asking the woman of your dreams to marry you without first demonstrating your exclusive love for her.

Patrick Mahan trying to shoot pool with a rope.

Patrick Mahan ‎ trying to stuff a marshmallow in a parking meter.

Awesome, Awesome, Awesome! These are so cool. Thank you everyone!

How about you? Anything you’d like to add? Please feel free!