Ok, there are a gazillion DIY digital picture frames out there, this is nothing new. I figure I’d share it though because it shows a good use for outdated hardware. More importantly it serves as documentation for what I did and how I did it, so I’m not asking myself six months from now “how did I do that?”

A few months ago I acquired an iMac G4 Lamp (Apple officially designates it the “iMac G4 Flat Panel”), which these days is a pretty useless piece of hardware; especially if it’s missing the OS like mine was. However, even with the hardware to slow to be of any real use, I felt like it would be a shame dump it. The iMac G4 has a great 17″ LCD so I figured it would make a great digital picture frame. Since my G4 was missing the OS, I decided to use the PowerPC version of Ubuntu¹, and after some searching, testing, and cursing, I found that these instructions, with some tweaks to suite my needs worked the best.

I won’t get into it here because there are already tons of HOWTOs (Google is your friend) but the first thing I did was to install Ubuntu Desktop.

After Ubuntu was up and running I installed the image viewer feh by opening a terminal and entering:

sudo apt-get install feh

Like Vegard, my pictures are stored on another computer but accessible through a network share. I wanted to setup feh to display the the pictures stored on that computer; but unlike Vegard my frame will be connected to my network via a wired connection so I don’t need to mess with rsync like he did.

The first step is to create a mount point for the share. In a terminal I entered:

sudo mkdir /media/framepics

Next I edited the fstab config so that the share gets mounted to /media/framepics and stays persistent even after a reboot. Again, in a terminal I entered:

sudo nano /etc/fstab

This opens the fstab config in nano for editing. On the last like I entered:

//enterprise/phat_drive/data/pictures/imac_frame /media/framepics cifs username=yourusername,password=yourpassword,iocharset=utf8, file_mode=0777,dir_mode=0777 0 0

Note – the above code should be placed on a single line.

Here’s a quick explanation of the fstab edit:

The first part:

//enterprise/phat_drive/data/pictures/imac_frame

Is the UNC path to the share where the pictures are stored – enterprise is my server and the rest of the path phat_drive/data/pictures/imac_frame leads to the folder where the frame pictures will be stored.

The second part:

/media/framepics

Is the mount point I created, after the share is mounted I will be able to access the share from /media/framepics as if it were a local directory on the iMac.

The third part:

cifs

Is the file system used when accessing the share and as far as I can tell this is the best option; the share that’s being mounted is on a Windows box.

The fourth part:

username=yourusername,password=yourpassword

Is where I put the user name and password needed to access the share on the Windows server.

The fifth part:

iocharset=utf8

Is the character set used when accessing the share on the Windows server. Again, as far as I can tell from my reading this is what you want to use.

The sixth part:

file_mode=0777,dir_mode=0777 0 0

Is the file permissions set for the mount point – 0777 gives full access to the share from the iMac. Last two 0s are used to set the dump option and mount order, for this purpose 0 on both is fine.

Once the line was added to fstab I hit Ctrl X and answered Y to save the changes and exit out of nano. I then rebooted to make sure the share mounted properly after a reboot.

The next step was to set feh to start after a reboot, rescan the image directory periodically, and set the iMac to automatically turn the screen off at night and back on in the morning. I used the scripts from Vegard as a guide:

The first script is used to start feh:

#!/bin/bash
export DISPLAY=:0
feh --quiet --recursive --randomize --hide-pointer --full-screen --slideshow-delay 300 /media/framepics/ &

delay is the time in seconds that the image is displayed; in this case 5 minutes. /media/framepics is where feh will look for images. I saved this file in my home directory (you could stick it anywhere) as start-feh.sh and gave it execute permissions. I then went to system > Preferences > Startup Applications and added the script to the start up entries so feh would start automatically on boot.

The next three scripts are used in conjunction with cron to restart feh periodically and turn the screen on and off at scheduled times.

When feh starts it reads the images currently in the directory and will only show images that existed when it started. In order for newly added images to show I need to stop and restart feh periodically:

#!/bin/bash
export DISPLAY=:0
killall feh
feh --quiet --recursive --randomize --hide-pointer --full-screen --slideshow-delay 300 /media/framepics/ &

killall feh kills the feh process and the next line is exactly the same as the start-feh script. This script is also saved in my home directory as sync-feh.sh and given exicute permissions.

This script turns the screen off:

#!/bin/bash
export DISPLAY=:0
xset +dpms
xset dpms force off

This script turns the display on:

#!/bin/bash
export DISPLAY=:0
xset +dpms
xset dpms force on

They were are also saved in my home directory as screen-on.sh and screen-off.sh and given execute permissions.

The next step is to setup cron so that sync-feh.sh, screen-on.sh, and screen-off.sh run at set times. Form the terminal:

crontab -e

I added the following:

00 07 * * 1-5 /home/adam/screen-on.sh
00 09 * * 0,6 /home/adam/screen-on.sh
00 23 * * 1-5 /home/adam/screen-off.sh
30 0 * * 0,6 /home/adam/screen-off.sh
0 * * * * /home/adam/sync-feh.sh

The first line sets cron to run screen-on.sh at 7AM Monday – Friday.

The second line sets cron to run screen-on.sh at 9AM Saturday and Sunday.

The third line sets cron to run screen-off.sh at 11PM Monday – Friday.

The fourth line sets cron to run screen-off.sh at 12AM Saturday and Sunday.

Finally, the fifth line sets cron to run sync-feh.sh every hour, to refresh the images. Every hour is probably excessive but whatever.

I then removed the desktop background image and set the background color to black, removed the desktop icons (I had to use gconf-editor to remove the mapped drive icon) and completely hid all the panels. With the background set to black, the icons and panels removed, all that shows when sync-feh.sh runs every hour is a blank black screen.

¹ The PowerPC architecture is no longer officially supported by Ubuntu. However, it is still available and supported by the community.^↵

This is partly a review of the Experience Music Project and Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame, henceforth referred to as EMP|SFM, and mostly a rant about stupid rules.

Update: EMP|SFM responded to this post on Twitter

EMPSFM @adambyers FYI – the bag policy is now changed as well – we restricted bags because large bags in crowded galleries = no fun for anyone.

EMPSFM @adambyers another old rule that wasn’t always needed except for certain small galleries. Sorry you got hassled and thx for sending to me.

[review]

This last August my family and I visited the EMP|SFM on the invitation of a friend. The EMP|SFM is a cool museum, but it’s far from living up to the hype surrounding it. The exhibits were both neat and educational, lots of Jimmy Hendricks stuff, the Guitar Gallery (offering a history of the electric guitar) was really cool and educational, and the Sound Lab was again fun and educational (after 30 or so minutes in there Jay was playing the drums pretty good).

The Science Fiction Museum (arguably the part I was most interested in) was a cool in that it offered you a chance to view props from various sci-fi movies and TV programs, as well as sci-fi history and the usual “did ya know?” type of stuff.

Still, after it was all said and done we were left with the impression that the coolest thing and arguably the the exhibit the kids had the most fun with was the giant LED screen:

Apparently this is the world’s largest LED screen and before it arrived at the EMP|SFM it belonged to U2, who used in at concerts and later donated it to the museum.

We had fun, no doubt, and we learned stuff, no doubt. However, our fun probably had more to do with the people we were with rather than the museum itself. The staff at the museum seem to have an elitist attitude and most acted like they were doing us some kind of favor by letting us in their museum. The atmosphere of the EMP|SFM is a stark contrast to other famous North West museums we’ve been to – like OMSI and the Evergreen Aviation & Space Museum where the staff is friendly, welcoming, and treats you as though they appreciate your visit. The EMP|SFM is kind of an awkward place, and for all the hype we were left feeling like there was something missing.

If I needed to sum up EMP|SFM in one word it would be – meh.

[stupid rules]

In total we were a group of 11 people, to eat in out would have been spendy, and complicated, so we brown-bagged lunch. We had all the lunch stuff in a couple of paper shopping bags and after we parked the bags were loaded on a stroller. The plan was to pause our EMP|SFM visit at some point to go out and eat in the park nearby. Our bags would have happy stayed on the stroller during our tour but we quickly found out that the EMP|SFM is either really paranoid, or just into stupid rules:

From EMP|SFM site:

Does EMP|SFM offer bag check?
Yes. EMP|SFM offer complimentary bag and coat check for museum guests.

Bags larger than 16 inches are not allowed in the gallery spaces.

Ok, so we had to check our lunch bags, inconvenient, and stupid but not a huge deal. However, if your going to have stupid rules at least have the courtesy to explain why they exist. Maybe it’s to help enforce their (understandable) no food rule:

Can I bring food or drink into EMP|SFM?
Food and drink are prohibited in all gallery spaces. They are permitted in the public areas (such as the ticketing lobby or the retail store).

Maybe the TSA style bag check is designed so that terrorists can only bring in bombs smaller than 16 inches? Maybe it’s designed to inconvenience you enough so that you don’t bring sack lunch and eat at the EMP|SFM food court? Who knows? Our friends were allowed to bring in their, larger than 16 inches, diaper bag but as is often the case with stupid rules, there are people who take them too far.

My wife and her friend got to talking to a couple who were forced to check their two week old baby’s diaper bag before they were allowed into the museum. Apparently the museum expected them to just walk back to the front of the museum if they needed anything.

After my wife and her friend brought the issue to the attention of a EMP|SFM employee (the only one who didn’t act like a pretentious douche bag) he quickly retrieved the diaper bag for the couple and apologized. Still, it should have never happened and wouldn’t have if they didn’t have stupid rules that gave EMP|SFM employees the opportunity to go on power trips, which is the only reason for denying a mother and father ready access to their two week old baby’s diaper bag.

What could be more stupid then the mandatory bag check? The EMP|SFM policy on photography. When we asked, were told there are parts of the EMP|SFM where photography is allowed and parts where it’s prohibited. For instance your allowed to take a picture of a child molesters Michael Jackson’s jacket:

You can also take a picture of a giant funnel of guitars:

Besides the Sound Lab and the LED wall, those are the only two exhibits your allowed to take pictures of, and where carrying a camera won’t get you stalked by EMP|SFM staff. Stupid rules be damned! I took pictures anyway:

These are really neat old guitars, it's a good picture too... wish I could show it to you. Perhaps it would inspire you to go see them for yourself but EMP|SFM does not allow photography. I wasn't supposed to take this picture.

I took others, I was sneaky, I shot from the hip and didn’t use a flash and I wasn’t the only one. Several other people were taking pictures, some being a lot more obvious then I was. I almost got out scot-free; until the Science Fiction Museum.

As we were exiting the sci-fi museum there was an exhibit with props from Lost in Space including the famous B9 Robot. I was admiring the exhibit when Sandi said “you should get a picture of that.” I had gotten too relaxed and made the mistake of holding my camera to my eye to take the shot (no flash). Just as the shutter snapped I heard “Sir! Sir!” and saw a man quickly approaching me. The man was an EMP|SFM “security guard” and he was quick to tell me that I had to delete the picture. “Frak!” I new that if he watched me delete that picture he’d see another I wasn’t supposed to have taken pop up.

At this point I was thinking “Ok, I got caught doing something I wasn’t supposed to do, I’ll suck it up and take it.” I showed him my camera and deleted the picture I took of the Lost in Space exhibit. I tried to turn the screen off fast enough but he was hovering over me and he saw another picture that I wasn’t supposed to have taken and demanded that I delete that. After deleting that picture a third one came on the screen and he again demanded that I delete it. After deleting those three pictures a picture I took of the Yoda exhibit popped up and he demanded that I delete that picture as well. I refused.

My kids love Star Wars and I took that picture so they’d have it and this guy’s power trip was getting tiring. The picture wasn’t even a good one, burly, as is was shot from the hip. I was sick of this guy leaning over me demanding I delete my pictures. I told him I wasn’t going to delete any more pictures, that we were leaving anyway, and I’d put the lens cap on. I walked away and meet up with the rest of my group, who were talking to the couple with the two week old baby.

This is (one of) the original Yoda puppets used in the Star Wars movie.

I’m not sure if the EMP|SFM “security guard” was allowed to, even if photography is prohibited, demand that I delete my pictures… it felt like illegal search and seizure to me. Since we were with other people I didn’t want to push the issue and get us completely kicked out or worse, which is why I complied as far as I did.

The same EMP|SFM employee who brought the couples diaper bag to them (again the only one who didn’t act like a pretentious douche bag), talked to Sandi and I. He was very nice, apologized for the other employees behavior and explained why they didn’t allow photography.

The photography ban stems from the fact that the EMP|SFM does not own all the exhibits and some of the owners don’t want their exhibits photographed and since it would be difficult to limit photography to only exhibits the EMP|SFM owns, they ban it altogether. The EMP|SFM employee agreed that it was a stupid, outdated rule and told us the new CEO was trying to get it lifted.

Exhibit owners and artists think that allowing people to take pictures is going to devalue the artwork or exhibit, which is just crap. Wake up people! Allowing people to photograph your artwork or exhibit and share it on their blog, FaceBook, Twitter, insert name of latest social network here, is only going promote the museum, which makes the museum money, money that the museum can pay you, the exhibit owner or artist, to have your exhibit or artwork displayed.

Ironically, as I was (slowly) writing this post this article came out in the Seattle P-I:

Sad you couldn’t get a shot with the original Death Star on your last visit to the Experience Music Project and Science Fiction Museum?

Starting Sept. 26, you’ll be able to strike a pose with the relic of a galaxy far, far away — not to mention Jimi Hendrix’s Woodstock Stratocaster, Captain Kirk’s Enterprise chair and every other object in the museum’s permanent collection.

EMP/SFM is about to change its photo policy. And if you ask staff, it’s about time.

Egads! Photography of items in the EMP|SFM’s permanent collection is now permitted! The article goes on the explain that traveling exhibits may still restrict photography but it does not seem that enforcing it will be of much concern to the museum:

“You can worry ’til the cows come home on a lot of this stuff, or you can sort of try to minimize the amount of potential damage,” said senior curator Jacob McMurray.

“At some point you have to decide, do you want to waste resources pushing back against something that can’t be solved, can’t be fixed?”

Of course flash photography is still prohibited, which I agree with. Whether or not a flash damages an artifact is debatable but a dozen flashes going off in a dark room would be annoying so I’m down with no-flash.

The EMP|SFM needs to update their web site because according to it photography is still prohibited:

Is photography allowed in the EMP|SFM galleries?
No film or video photography is allowed in the museum galleries. Any commercial or other unauthorized use of any transmission, picture, film/type, writing, drawing, or other depiction or description of any Experience Music Project or Science Fiction Museum and Hall of Fame name, mark or logo is prohibited without prior specific written approval from the EMP|SFM Marketing and PR Department. Call 206.770.2700 for more information.

I’m glad to see the EMP|SFM dispensing with the stupid no photography rule, it shows progress on their part. Perhaps allowing people to take diaper bags in will be the next step froward for the EMP|SFM.

Look closely into the magic pyramid and you will find fun, freedom, and riches beyond your dreams.

Dear Jeff,

If your reading this then you have received the CD I sent back to you with a link to this post. I’d first like to start this letter with a couple of quotes from Wikipedia:

A pyramid scheme is a non-sustainable business model that involves the exchange of money primarily for enrolling other people into the scheme, often without any product or service being delivered.

Pyramid schemes are illegal in many countries, including the United States…

As I’m sure you recall we meet briefly at The Home Depot in the surge protector/extension cord aisle about a week ago. I was looking for a couple of surge protectors with right angle plugs (they fit better behind desks). You walked up shortly after I arrived and confusingly started looking at Home Depot’s surge protector offerings and after sifting through various surge protectors I found what I was looking for, grabbed a couple, and started to walk away. Before I got too far though, you stopped me and asked me something to the effect of “what surge protector is best?”

Your question through me for a loop, it’s not that it was a dumb question, or that I was not willing to help you out but I’m just the sort of guy who goes into a store, gets what he needs, and gets out while attempting as little human interaction as possible. I’m just not used to interacting with people in stores unless I start the interaction… it’s an introvert thing I guess. However, I try hard to be a nice guy and even though it went against my standard operating procedure, I decided I’d help you. Plus, you asked a tech. related question… I tend to like answering those types of questions.

In any case I asked you what you were planning on plugging into it, gave you a brief idea of what to look for, and recommended one of the brands available. You asked me if I was in the tech filed and I said “Actually, I’m the IT guy at [name of company] down the street.” You said something about that being cool, thanked me for my help, and I walked off feeling pretty good that I was able to help you out. I was still weirded out by the abnormal interaction though.

Apparently you were listening when I told you the name of the place I worked because about an hour later you called me there. I’m guessing that you looked the name of the company up, called the main number, and asked for me. I admire you for remembering my name because I’m terrible with names and frankly I would not have remembered your’s 5 seconds after you told me; even if my life depended on it. Anyway, what was at this point a slightly abnormal occurrence for me – talking to a stranger in a store – now moved to the category of this is too frakking weird, my head is going to EXPLODE!. Honestly, my first reaction was “what the frak is this guy calling me for?!” You eased my nerves a little by telling me that you realized this was all coming “out of left field.” It helped knowing that you realized how frakking crazy it was that you tracked me down and called me… of course you realizing how crazy it was, and still doing it, could actually make you more insane than not.

Oh, by the way, I hate sports metaphors.

Anyway, you told me that you appreciated my help at Home Depot and that you thought that it took integrity to help a stranger and all that. Then you really came out of left field and asked me if I would be interested in doing some part time work for your “internet company.” Wow. I doubted that it was possible that I made such an impression in our brief exchange that you would track me down and offer me a legitimate job of some kind but I didn’t want to squander a possible opportunity so I said “sure.”

You didn’t say much about your “internet company” but you said that you wanted to meet some time to discuss your “opportunity,” so we set a date and time to meet at a Starbucks down the street from where I work. This was not too odd, I had interviewed for jobs (and got them) at Starbucks before. You then told me that you had some information about your company that you wanted to send me and asked what address you should send it to. When I asked if e-mail would work you told me that you were going to be mailing an audio CD so standard mail was easier. I found this odd because for someone who has an “internet company” I’d think that you’d realize that the internet is a pretty damn good way to distribute audio. Anyway, I gave you the befit of the doubt, maybe you were just the money man and you had people to handle all the technical stuff for you. In any case I gave you my work address and by the end of our conversation I was pretty sure that what you were offering would not turn out to be anything; but I was curious to see what, exactly, it turned out to be.

A few days later I received the CD you sent me titled “Fun and Freedom.” I listened to it. Some guy who went by the name Wade Simmons talked for a few minutes about a system he had that would gain the follower, wait for it… Fun and Freedom! Egads!

Not that I needed to (I already knew what this was) but I did a bit of research – I could not find any information on Wade Simmons, other than some mountain biker out of Canada, who I was pretty sure had nothing to do with any of this. Printed on the CD label was “Copyright TEAM INA.” Googling TEAM INA only turned up this Yahoo Answers post where the answerer said they’d been to a TEAM INA meeting and determined that it was a pyramid scheme. Further digging turned up this^(pdf) California Class Action Suit against Quixtar (later dropped). Quixtar is in fact Amway Global, a company known to run, wait for it… pyramid schemes! If you look on page 13 of the suit where it lists Quixtar’s “lines of sponsorship” on line f. you’ll see listed InterNet Associates (INA).

Here’s the thing Jeff – I helped you in that day in Home Depot, it may have not been for anything particularly significant but I did help you. I’m not saying I deserve a medal or anything but I could have easily given you a B.S. response, or ignored you; either of which would have actually been easier for me. Instead, I not only answered your question I took the time to pass valuable knowledge to you and you responded to my kindness by trying to scam me.

Ok, I’m not so native as to actually think that you were really looking for a surge protector and genuinely needed help picking one out. I’d imagine your “working” day is spent loitering around stores looking for marks, people you try run your little scam on. Make no mistake Jeff, pyramid schemes are scams and people that perpetuate their existence are, in my opinion, criminals.

I hate, hate, hate, pyramid schemes, multi-level marketing, whatever you call it a rose is a rose and a scam is a scam.

Jeff, you’re despicable, and if it existed you would burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater¹.

Oh, and I left your CD in my car for a couple of days and it got pretty hot in there… so if you CD is a little warped I apologize…

Or maybe it was the heat gun...

¹ “Firefly” Our Mrs. Reynolds (2002)^↵

If you are interested in buying a pre-made iPhone Call Recorder click please e-mail me adam [at] adambyers.com

8/25/2009 – I’ve updated this post to hopefully make things a little more clear and answer some questions people had.

8/26/2009 – I have seen some comments around the web that this device is illegal. It’s not. It’s perfectly legal to make a device that enables you record phone calls and it’s perfectly legal to record phone calls to which you are a party of. However, depending on your jurisdiction, you may have to notify the other party that the call is being recorded. It’s always illegal to record a phone call to which you are not a party. Your mileage may vary, when in doubt do some reading, and consult a lawyer.

The Problem

I’ve wanted a way to record phone calls to and from my iPhone since I’ve had it but hadn’t really looked into solutions until a couple of weeks ago. What I really wanted was a native iPhone app that would record incoming and outgoing phone calls – there is SpoofApp but it requires a JailBroken phone, per-minute fees, and looks like it only works on outgoing calls. Another iPhone app Recorder 10, does not require a JailBroken phone but like SpoofApp you have to pay per-minute fees and it only records outgoing calls.

Exhausted after searching for something I assumed would be out there already, and finding nothing I figured that the only way I was going to get what I wanted was to do it myself.

I had a few criteria that I wanted to meet:

• Portable as possible.
• Record both sides of the conversation.
• The ability to start recording the conversation midstream.
• As little indication that the call was being recorded as possible.

Before I go any further – laws regarding the recording of phone calls vary from state to state and federal laws may apply as well. Don’t be stupid, do some reading and if in doubt talk to a lawyer. If you make this device and get yourself into trouble using it I’m not responsible. I’m also not responsible if you release the magic smoke from your iPhone.

The Obvious Solution

When you talk on a phone, whether you notice it or not, you hear a smidgen of your voice through the phones speaker. If phones didn’t do this it would sound strange when you talked on the phone. So my first test was to just record the headphone output [using a splitter] of the iPhone to see if I got both sides of the conversation. You can record both sides of the conversation like this but the iPhone side of the conversation is unacceptability low.

This is the method used by Rory but he uses the built in microphone on his Mac to record his side of the conversation. So, while Rory has a workable solution it requires the use of a computer so it’s not all that portable.

8/25/2009 – Previously I incorrectly stated that this method causes an echo on the recording but after going back and trying it last night I could not replicate this effect; go figure.

With this method you’re relying on the smidgen of audio that the phone feeds back to your ear piece. This is not enough to get a decent recording of your side of the conversation, which is why Rory uses his Mac's mic to record his side of the conversation.

Without using a second recorder (in Rory’s case his Mac) for your side of the conversation using this method your recording sounds like this. Notice you can barely hear my side (iPhone side) of the conversation and when it gets loud, you can’t hear my side at all.

A Better Way

So, I started to look at the pinout of the iPhone headphone jack which is a TRRS (Tip, Ring, Ring, Sleeve) jack. I stumbled across this post that gave instructions on how to wire a breakout cable so that you could use your own headphones and mic with the iPhone and after some dabbling I came up with this:

In this schematic the W, R, Y and NS (White, Red, Yellow, and Not Shielded) note the color of the individual wires for the TRRS cable I used.

Which, if you haven’t guessed already, does not work. Well, It actually does work. It records both sides of the conversation beautifully. The problem is that the person your talking to hears everything they say repeated back to them (delayed by a millisecond) in their ear peace, very loudly and very clearly. Not only would this “talk back” be very annoying for the person your talking to, it would defiantly indicate to them that something odd was going on with the call.

It’s seems obvious now but it took me awhile to figure out what was going on – to get the recorder to work the way I wanted, I needed to combine the headphone output and the mic input (my side of the conversation), to one single output that would go to the recorder. By doing this I ended up feeding the headphone output of the iPhone back into the mic input of the iPhone, which is why the person on the other end heard everything they said repeated back to them. The obvious solution was to not combine the headphone and mic to one output, but to record the calls I’d either need two recorders (one for each side of the conversation) or a recorder that had multiple inputs. I wanted to get it working using only one recording output.

I wondered if using a mixer would solve the problem and to test this I connected the headphone and mic outputs to my little Behringer mixer on separate channels and it worked beautifully. Unfortunately, as beautifully as it worked, it required the use of a small but not so portable mixer. So I consulted Google and found some schematics (link 1, link 2) for some simple two channel mixers. However, using simple mixer did not do enough to keep the headphone and mic separated, it helped but it wasn’t enough. Finally, by using strategically placed capacitors I was able to virtually eliminate the “talk back”problem.

The Solution

To keep things simple I combined the left and right headphone channels [see: Stereo-to-Mono Summing Box] to make a mono signal going to the recording output but the headphone output for the iPhone user (you) is still stereo. Also, you could probably use lower resistor values all around since the signal coming from the iPhone isn’t that hot but I decided to err on the side of caution for now. The potentiometers are your garden variety (Radio Shack) 100k audio taper pots; you could use 50k or probably even smaller with this setup and they only control the signal going to the recording output, which gives you some control of the recording levels.

Depending on the headset you use, you may need to modify the cable to have the headphones and mic on separate jacks; the one pictured here was made with separate headphone and mic jacks. Here I have the iPhone Call Recorder hooked up to a hand held voice recorder (which has a mic input) but you could use any recording device that accepts a 3.5mm jack.

Click here to listen to a phone call recorded using the iPhone Call Recorder.

Notes

• It’s very likely that this is not the best (in fact it’s not), or the only way to accomplish recording phone calls on the iPhone, but it does work and it works well. I agree that the best solution would be a native iPhone app. but it’s my understanding that it’s not even possible to write an app. that records phone calls on the iPhone without using third party services like Recorder 10 and SpoofApp do (which they charge you for and are limited in functionality).
• As Gizmodo “journalist” Joanna Stern pointed out this is a “fucking ugly” solution. What she fails to note though it that it works and is in several ways it’s better than any of the software solutions available.
• While “Fucking Ugly” this solution does not require you to jailbreak your phone, you don’t have to pay per-min fees to use it, you can record both incoming and outgoing calls with it, your recording stays with you and is not on some third party server, it gives no indication that the call is being recorded, it lets you start recording mid-call, and it affords you the ability to use an external set of headphones and an external microphone even if you don’t want to record the call. In any case it’s certainly better than just rolling over and paying for an app. that does not do what you want/need it to do as “journalist” Joanna Stern suggests we all do.
• Despite “journalist” Joanna Stern’s assertion this is not a “switch box” it does not use any switches at all.
• I agree with everyone that it’s rather large but I used a project box that I had lying around; it could certainly be made to fit in a smaller box.
• Several people have asked “If you willing to go through the trouble make this breakout box, why not just jailbreak? It woudl be easier.” First, I have not jailbroken an iPhone, but based on my understanding of the process, I’d say that for me the amount of work between jailbreaking and making this breakout box is about equal. For someone less familiar with electronics this may in fact be more work than simply jailbreaking but you only have to make this breakout box once, by jailbreaking your iPhone your entering a never ending arms race with Apple (at least if yo want the latest iPhone OS). Also, the only app. that is available for a jailbroken phone that records calls is SpoofApp. SpoofApp seems like a great app. but as mentioned in the beginning of this post it not only requires a jailbroken phone, you have to pay per-min fees to record calls, only works on outgoing calls, and your recording ends up on a third party server that you have no control over; a privacy issue.
• You still get a little “talk back” but it is so mild that unless you were really, really, really listening for it you would not notice; it’s extremely mild. You actually have to blow in the receiver hard to get it to produce the effect.
• The headphones act as a microphone with this setup but it’s so weak that it has no effect on the recording.
• The headphone volume on the iPhone affects the level of the recording output.
• Obviously (or maybe not) this setup requires that you to use a separate headphone and mic during calls – you could just use something like this.
• The iPhone puts out ~3 volts on the mic line because it’s expecting an electret microphone. You could filter this with a capacitor but it probably won’t hurt anything. I’m assuming that I’ll always be using and electret mic so I didn’t add one.
• The TRRS cable I used was actually just a 3.5mm video cable. This type of cable comes with a lot of video and digital cameras. TRRS jacks and cables are surprisingly hard to find – Mouser does have a TRRS plug but I could not find TRRS jacks anywhere.

Build Pictures

UPDATE: Tuesday afternoon we were contacted by Sedgwick & James, the company that handles Fred Meyer’s liability issues and are discussing with them what compensation, if any, Fred Meyer is willing to give.

UPDATE: Tuesday afternoon Laura S. Fred Meyer’s Director of Risk Management called and apologized to Sandi.

This last Sunday, July 26, my wife, Sandi, our kids, Sandi’s mom, and my kid sister and I were at Fred Meyer to do some shopping. I was over in the men’s section across from where everyone else was in the boys/girls section. I finished looking and started walking back over to the boys/girls section to meet up with everyone when I saw Sandi motioning to a male Fred Meyer employee while saying “excuse me” apparently trying to get his help, the Fred Meyer employee said “Don’t ask me, ask her” while pointing to a female employee. The male employee didn’t even have the decency to ask what Sandi needed; and respectfully refer her over to the female employee; his behavior was rude and unacceptable but as I was about to find out that wasn’t the half of it.

The female employee started to walk over to assist Sandi and when I got over to where everyone was, I realized something was very wrong – Sandi was crying and holding her forehead. I asked what happened and Sandi’s mom pointed to a sign on the floor and told me that the sign fell off the rack and hit Sandi on the forehead.

This was taken several minutes after the sign fell on Sandi.

Sandi told the female employee what happened, which was simple – Sandi pulled a hoodie off the top hanger, had my sister try it on, and then put it back on the hanger, a normal every day shopping activity; but in this case the movement of Sandi putting the hanger back caused the 11″ x 14″ 2 pound sign to fall 15″ before striking Sandi’s forehead.

The female employee was apologizing profusely but didn’t know what to do, so she acted accordingly and called her manager. A few moments later Nancy, a manager, came over and asked me what the problem was. I was upset, about two seconds from boiling over, I sneeringly said “your display fell on my wife” Nancy got a concerned look on her face and looked over at the sign and at Sandi’s head… she begin apologizing. I asked Nancy if there was an incident report or something that we could fill out; Nancy said yeas and proceeded to call her manager Maria over.

I took this the day after the incident. I went back to make sure the remaining signs were taken down (at least the high ones) and to measure and weigh the sign that fell on Sandi.

This is exactly like the sign that fell on Sandi - 11” x 14” and 2 1/4 pounds. Held on by noting more than glorified refrigerator magnets.

Maria, Nancy’s manager, arrived moments later and asked what happened, and we explained. I smacked a small sign, attached by the same mechanism as the bigger one that hit Sandi’s head and said something like “look how easily these fall off, there defective” I was trying to show how poorly their attached, but honestly it was also out of frustration and anger.

Maria quickly asked Sandi if she needed anything, water, ice, and sent Nancy to go get them for her. Sandi felt dizzy enough that she needed to sit down; the impact of the sign on her head caused her knees to buckle and she almost fell over.

While Nancy was off getting ice and water Maria started to take the incident report, Maria was very apologetic and in our opinion handled the situation to the best of her ability, as did every other Fred Meyer employee involved in the incident.

We had taken a look at the fallen sign and found that it was missing one of two magnets that hold it to the hanger and the adhesive holding the remaining magnet, jostled when Sandi put the hoodie back, failed causing the sign to fall.

I took this picture of the mount from the sign that fell on Sandi the day of the incident. There are supposed to be two magnets but one was missing, weakening an already insufficient mount. We think the adhesive holding the remaining magnet failed causing it to fall.

Maria mentioned that she never liked the signs, but didn’t specify why and said that she’d have them taken down in the morning. Nancy returned with and ice pack, water and some antiseptic for Sandi and in fact went to get Sandi a second ice pack a few minutes later because the first one warmed up.

Maria finished filling out the paper work and explained to Sandi and I that we could go to the hospital and Fred Meyer’s insurance would cover it. Maria recommended that at the very least Sandi should go and get a tetanus shot. At this point, about 30-45 minutes into the incident, Sandi’s head was still hurting but she was coherent and joking with Maria and Nancy as we were wrapping up the paper work.

I want to clearly express that Nancy and Maria, as well as the female employee all handled the situation very well, they reacted appropriately, were very apologetic and nice. Honestly, I was ready to pounce but Maria and Nancy’s attitude in dealing with the situation diffused what was a volatile situation.

As we finished up I asked Maria if we could get a copy of the incident report, she said “no, I can’t do that” and though I found it odd I didn’t push the issue. I snapped a few pictures with my phone and neither Maria nor Nancy objected. Before we parted ways Maria gave me a piece of paper with her name, the name of Fred Meyer’s insurance company and her direct line.

Later that night Sandi was feeling nauseous, worried her mom and I convinced her to go to the ER and get checked out. The doctor said that the nausea was due to a mild concussion but since Sandi did not have any other symptoms she did not require a CT scan. They gave Sandi medicine for the nausea and a tetanus shot. We were given instructions on symptoms to watch out for over the next few days in case the concussion worsened.

The next day, Monday, I went back to the store to see if the signs had been taken down as Maria said they would be. I found two that were still up in the apparel section but they were on racks no higher than 5’. I also took a few pictures, used a tape measure to measure how high the sign that hit Sandi was from the floor and weighed it.

It’s funny - as I was unboxing the scale, camera around my neck, two Fred Meyer employees walked by and didn’t say a word to me. By the way, I put the scale back just as I found it.

On Tuesday, Maria called to see how Sandi was doing – I told her that Sandi did go to the ER and explained what the doctor said. She was again apologetic and told me she had a discussion with the male employee that initially snubbed Sandi – the male employee explained that he acted the way he did in a joking manner and did not realize Sandi was injured. Maria said he was very sorry and even asked to call to apologize to Sandi himself. Looking back, Sandi and I both see how the way he acted towards Sandi was meant to have some humor behind it, which we both can certainly appreciate; we do not think he was acting maliciously. So his behavior is forgiven as far as we are concerned.

Whatever the case may be, someone at Fred Meyer was negligent – Given the size and weight of the sign it should have never been mounted the way it was, additionally the mount that was holding the sign in question was damaged, so an already insufficient mount was compromised. It was an accident waiting to happen. No matter how well the management of Fred Meyer handled the situation (which they did very well) it does not excuse the fact that the sign should have never fallen.

Sandi and I feel that it is more than acceptable to ask Fred Meyer for monetary compensation, above the medical costs that we incurred. Sandi was physically injured, it’s not enough for Fred Meyer as a company to simply say “sorry” and walk away. We are not suing Fred Meyer, but we are going to seek compensation, a monetary apology if you will. Whether you like it or not, money talks in these parts and we hope that Fred Meyer puts it’s money where it’s mouth is.

We have yet to speak with anyone regarding this issue, besides the managers of the local store, but were being told that someone should be contacting us shortly [see update(s) above].

This is how the mounts attach to the rack, it’s a ingenious design but woefully insufficient for anything heaver than a pound.

This is how the mount is supposed to look; the one that fell on Sandi was missing one of the magnets. So not only was the mount overweighed it was damaged and yet still being used.

This was taken the day after the sign fell on Sandi.

On this day in 1969, Man set foot on the Moon. It was an achievement that forever changed what we considered possible. It is an achievement that should be remembered and honored not just by Americans but all of humanity.

Space exploration has always held a special place in my heart – Always looking up at the starts; I remember looking at the moon through my first telescope. I remember making a Space Shuttle model rocket that flew from the launch pad in a perfect arch, landing nose first in the ground… We lived in Lancaster, CA most of my life and as a kid, my mom got (from a patient at the dental office she worked at) our family press level passes to see the Space Shuttle land at Edwards Air Force Base. I was also able to participate in a tour of Space Shuttle Columbia while it was at Lockheed Martin for maintenance; I believe this was just before its last mission in 2003.

I believe now, as I always have, that we need to go back to the Moon, we need to relearn the lessons that Apollo taught us 40 years ago, we need to relearn to land on another world so we can go beyond our planet. Space is the final frontier and we need to commit to exploring this frontier, we cannot let ourselves become complacent for if we fail to explore, we fail ourselves and the generations of people before us who gave so much to discover.

I needed a cheep and easy way to mount a computer under a table – some aluminum stock, Velcro, and bolts made for a quick and dirty mount for around $12.00.

The aluminum stock was bent to shape in a vice and 1/4" holes we drilled for the 1" bolts.

Velcro squares were used to keep the computer from moving around.

Rip-ties were used to keep the cables under control.

If it existed, Teri would burn in a very special level of Hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater¹.

UPDATE: Sandi realized that the images of the e-mails and letter we sent to Teri were hard to read, especially at lower resolutions. The links now point to PDFs of the e-mails and letters.

[why]

First, a brief explanation of why I’m writing this post:

It’s a warning, even as unlikely as it is that you will come across Teri Gunn, you will no doubt be presented with an opportunity to deal with someone like her. Your gut will tell you not to trust them but you will still want to; because it’s who you are. Let my words serve as reinforcement for your gut; do not trust them, run away, avoid people like Teri Gunn as you would avoid a zombie horde.

It’s payback, Teri hurt my wife Sandi and me – caused us undue stress, time, money, and caused a rift to form between Sandi and members of her family. Her inhumane behavior brought Sandi to tears and that’s frakking unacceptable. So, this is me taking the opportunity to drag Teri through the mud; and I am completely unapologetic about it. She deserves it; Teri is a liar, and a thief and I’m going to do everything I can to let the world know that.

[truth]

What you are about to read is the truth – it’s obviously written in my own words but it is nevertheless the complete truth. Teri and others on her side would of course claim otherwise – and they’d be lying².

[story]

Sandi and I got married on a budget and didn’t have a whole lot of money for a wedding photographer, but obviously still wanted pictures of the day. I was going to ask my uncle³; until Sandi’s sister-in-law Kim told her that Teri, a friend of theirs, was interested in photographing our wedding.

Before talking to Teri or my uncle, among other things regarding our wedding pictures, Sandi and I established that we wanted the raw⁴ pictures that our wedding photographer shot. So, whoever our photographer was; we needed to make sure that they would be ok with giving them to us. Sandi and I also decided that if she wanted to do it, we’d use Teri as our photographer because my uncle was already videotaping and we didn’t want to add anymore to his plate.

I am strongly against the practice of a photographer maintaining ownership (copyright) of pictures they are being paid to take. If I am paying you to take pictures – they are mine thankyouverymuch. Most photographers will make you sign a contract – signing away your rights to the pictures you’re paying them to take. It’s about trying to suck you for every penny they can, they want to make sure that you have to come back to them for prints, etc. Some photographers will release their rights after a period of time (years) or for a very handsome fee, which is ridiculous. The idea that a photographer maintains ownership of pictures you paid them to take is bunk; but it’s been happening so long that people don’t know any better, it shouldn’t be tolerated and people should seek out more enlightened photographers.

Several weeks before our wedding Teri called Sandi and officially offered to act as our wedding photographer. I walked into the room part way through their conversation and Sandi told me that Teri had offered to do our wedding photos. First thing I asked Sandi was if she was ok with giving us the raw pictures and Sandi nodded indicating to me that she had confirmed that Teri was ok with it. Still wanting to be sure I asked Sandi several more times, I asked so many times that Sandi gave me a look because I was being annoying.

It’s simple, if Teri was not ok with giving us the raw pictures she would have not been our photographer.

During the conversation when Sandi asked Teri how much she’d charge us, Teri told Sandi that she would do it for free and gave Sandi a number of reasons why:

• Sandi was her friend.
• Sandi was there for her even through tough times, when no one else was.
• Sandi was the reason she met her husband⁵ met.

Teri said she wanted to photograph our wedding as a gift to Sandi, plus as a student photographer she wanted the experience of photographing a wedding and the pictures to start building her portfolio. Having Teri do our wedding pictures, no charge, was obviously advantageous to us, given our limited wedding budget. Given the risk we were taking on an inexperienced photographer though, it seemed like a fair trade.

I want to make it clear that at the time Teri was not a professional photographer; she approached us as a student photographer. Teri had no portfolio⁶, no professional experience and our wedding would be the first she had ever done.

The deal that Sandi and Teri hashed out was straight forward:

• Teri would photograph our wedding on April 1st 2009, no charge, she refused to be paid because it was to be a gift to Sandi.
• Teri was ok with giving us the raw pictures, Sandi confirmed this several times.
• If Sandi and I wanted any prints, either from Teri’s edits or my own we’d order them through Teri.
• And of course Teri was free to use our wedding pictures for her portfolio.

Sandi and I had been warned, by several people not to deal with Teri – she has a reputation of being unscrupulous, of screwing people over, and going back on her word. The problem is Sandi and I are far too trusting for our own good, and generally give people the benefit of the doubt; so we dismissed the warnings. After all Teri was Sandi’s friend, a friend of Sandi’s sister-in-law and what kind of person would frack with someone’s wedding right?

About two weeks before our wedding Teri called Sandi and asked if we could pay her $125.00 for photographing our wedding. Several weeks ago she was more than willing to do it as a gift to Sandi but something changed⁷ and now she wanted to be paid $125.00. It was two weeks before the wedding so we were a bit stuck so we agreed to pay her the $125.00, nothing else changed.

It could be argued that it’s ridiculous for a student photographer, one with no experience, to expect to be paid anything; and in fact, it is. As a student photographer they should be content with the fact that someone is willing to take the risk on them in the first place. But Sandi and I are far too nice for our own good, and thought it was fair that Teri get paid a little for taking the time out of her day.

It’s fair to say that since Teri was being paid now, even the small amount, our wedding was now a paid gig and so the stakes were raised a little higher. Our expectations went up a little compared the freebee gig she had offered us before but we were still aware that Teri had no experience.

Our wedding day came and Teri showed up with her camera and one 512MB SD card. It was a cloudy, cold, and rainy April day; so as we expected, outside pictures were not going to happen. When we started to take pictures Teri immediately started complaining about not being able to take pictures outside, the poor lighting inside, and her camera. Teri’s complaining didn’t help Sandi who was already nervous and it was so incessant that it caught the attention of our guests and the manager of the facility. The facility manager told Sandi that she felt bad, and was turning every light on that she could… the lack of light was not the problem though, it was Teri’s complete lack of knowing what the frack she was doing. Again, Sandi and I were aware of Teri’s lack of experience, but one also expects that an adult who is trying to start a career would be able to maintain at least a minimum level of professional composure. Even still, Sandi and I had largely forgotten about Teri’s behavior, and dismissed it. We understood that this was her first wedding and she was probably just nervous.

It’s now two weeks after our wedding and we’ve not see any of the pictures Teri took, except for three of our cake that she posted on Facebook.

Sandi was on Facebook when she got a message from Teri, via Facebook chat. Teri started the conversation with normal conversation banter and then said she had worked on our pictures that day. Sandi asked when we’d get to see them and Teri said “soon.” Sandi asked Teri about the raw pictures, and told her that she didn’t need to spend time on them (of course she was welcome to) since we’re just going to get the raw pictures and I’d Photoshop them up and go from there.

Then, the same person who brought one 512MB SD card to a wedding, the same one who complained incessantly about the weather, lighting and her camera said:

No, remember I told you I can’t do that. Anything that goes out with my name on it has to be to my quality standards.

First, Teri said she was ok with giving us the raw pictures several weeks back, second why is she so concerned with her “quality standards” now, when she was willing to represent herself so poorly at our wedding?

Eventually, Teri told Sandi that if we want the raw pictures we could pay her $800 for them. Teri said she’s a professional, and she needed to maintain “creative control” over her work and denied agreeing to give us the raw pictures. I find it laughable that Teri called herself a “professional” – between her incessant complaining about the weather, lighting, and her camera, only bringing one 512MB SD card to a wedding, having no experience, and no portfolio, Teri is hardly a professional.

At this point watching our wedding pictures slip away Sandi was in tears, I got on the chat and thanked Teri for bringing Sandi to tears. I called Teri a liar, and reminded her that she agreed to give us the raw pictures, and again she denied it. Like a coward she then left the Facebook chat, saying “we’ll talk later” but she never came back.

I felt like we needed an advocate, so I called Sandi’s mom and apprised her of the situation hoping that maybe she could talk to Teri (who she knew) so we could come to some resolution; but Teri would not take her calls, or ours.

Turns out, Teri was busy calling Sandi’s sister-in-law, telling her that “Adam called me every name in the book” during the Facebook chat. Sandi’s sister-in-law Kim (the wife of a pastor) then called Sandi’s mom and blatantly lied, telling her that I cussed Teri out. When Sandi’s mom told Sandi and I what Teri and Kim were saying, I was thankful that Sandi was smart enough not to close the chat window… I took screen shots to show whoever needed proof that I did not utter one curse word to Teri during the Facebook chat. Given the fact that Teri was screwing us over, Sandi and I were both rather nice.

Unfortunately, the damage was done; Teri’s actions, involving people who had nothing to do with the situation had already caused the rift to form between Sandi’s sister-in-law Kim and her brother but that is a whole other story.

The next day we sent Teri an e-mail^(pdf) – Since she was so willing to call herself a professional I outlined some issues Sandi and I had with her unprofessional behavior at our wedding and offered her some advice. Though critical of her, it was not mean. In the same e-mail we remind Teri that she agreed to give us the raw pictures and that she originally offered to photograph our wedding for free, only to ask for $125.00 two weeks before the wedding. We asked her to just give us the SD card she used for our wedding and we’d give her $25.00, more than enough to replace the 512MB card she used.

Teri replied:

Sandi and Adam,

I’m sorry you are choosing to do this. I will not play your games, and I can’t be bullied. I am not going to respond to all this rubbish. We all know the truth and if you decide to admit it and stick to the agreement we made, I will order your proofs and then prints for you. You cannot have my files, sorry, not a deal, EVER. As soon as you pay me the $125 we agreed on, plus printing, and a signed contract, the order can be placed. I would be willing to GIVE you select files for use in your video, but only with a signed contract limiting the use to your video. You can also choose not to purchase you photos, and I will write off the $125. If this is the choice you make I will consider our verbal contract void and there will be no need for further communication about this.

Teri

Hum, I don’t recall that a contract limiting the use of our pictures was a part of the “agreement we made.”

At this point Sandi and I had both emotionally written off the pictures but were not ok with what Teri was doing. She went back on her word, lied about me to Sandi’s family and was effectively holding our wedding pictures hostage, demanding ransom. It was now about the principal, about not taking Teri trying to screw us lying down.

Sandi talked to a family member, a lawyer, who told her that whatever the agreement was at the time Teri took the pictures is what we should stick by. So, we wrote Teri another e-mail^(pdf) in which we told Teri that we talked to a lawyer, and were going to go by the agreement that was in place when she took the pictures. We’d pay her $125.00, and she should give us the raw pictures. Obviously, at this point getting prints from Teri was out of the question. We also warned Teri that if she did not abide by the agreement then we would file a small claims case against her.

Teri replied:

Good luck, no contract! No proof. I told you that if you did not accept my deal that you should not contact me again. If you choose to do so I will contact authorities and get a restraining order. Yes this is serious and the law is on my side. Copyright laws are clear and you have no grounds for a lawsuit. As I told you, I will not be bullied. I am not afraid of your hot air.

Teri

Again, hum, “Good luck, no contract! No proof.” it’s true, we didn’t have a signed contract but why is she taunting us about it? She also tells us that if we don’t do it her way, she is going to get a restraining order against us; which is laughable because she has no grounds but it shows you the type of person we were dealing with. We’re trying to resolve the situation and she is threatening restraining orders.

As a last ditch effort, we sent Teri a demand letter^(pdf) via certified mail, which included a check for $125.00; we gave Teri 10 days from the date of the letter to surrender our photos. In a demonstration of utter responsibility Teri waited till the ninth day to pick the letter up from the post office. Sandi and I waited five more working days for Teri to respond, and then we filed a small claims case against her.

Now, Sandi and I both understood that it was our word against Teri’s, but we did not feel that we should take this lying down, it was the principal of the matter. With cases like this, it comes down to who the judge believes, whose story is most likely the truth. Given our stance on the issue, what’s more likely: that we’d use Teri who would not give us the raw photos unless we paid her $800, or that we’d use my uncle, or someone else who would just give them to us?

As part of the process of filing the small claims case we were required to put the dollar amount we were seeking, we could not put that we just wanted our pictures. Obviously, wedding pictures are priceless, but Sandi and I sat down and figured out how much it would cost us to recreate our wedding pictures and we came up with $3,700.00. So that’s what we filed the small claims case for, but we still just wanted the pictures, or at least to let Teri know that she couldn’t get away with screwing us over. it was not about money.

Teri was served the court papers via sheriff and we had to wait fourteen days for her to respond, she had three options:

• Deny the claim.
• Deny the claim and file a counter suit.
• Ignore it and risk a default judgment against her.

Teri decided to deny the claim and counter sue… she counter sued us for $3,700 which is laughable. First, because the most amount of money she ever asked us for was $800. Second, because that’s the same amount our suit against her was for. Teri’s counter claim was the definition of frivolous.

In between waiting for our court date we actually got an offer to appear on Judge Judy^(pdf) and have our case arbitrated on the show. Sandi talked to a producer and got the low down on what would happen and we agreed that we would go on the show. The producer then talked to Teri and even though Teri seemed interested at first, she stopped communicating with the producer.

The producer later told us that Teri would not go on without Kim, Sandi’s sister-in-law who took Teri’s side from the beginning. What we think happened was that while Kim was willing to lie to me, Sandi and everyone else, going on TV and lying was a little too much for the wife of a pastor. Since Kim was not willing to do Judge Judy, neither was Teri. We were a little surprised; a free trip to California, free hotel stay, free food, $100 appearance fee and the show pays whatever judgment is found, it’s a sweet deal. But again, it would have required Teri and Kim to both appear on national TV and lie; it seems that they both prefer to keep their lies local.

It’s now been two months since our wedding and we have still not seen any of the pictures Teri took. Teri claimed she had amazing pictures but up till this point she refused to show them to us.

Yamhill County requires that both parties attempt mediation before the case is heard by a judge. The process is simple, both sides go into a room and two trained mediators do their best to try to get both sides to come to an agreement. It’s actually a good thing, because it forces you to listen to what the other person has to say (you are not allowed to interrupt), you have to be civil and it allows the parties to come to a mutual agreement rather than a judge forcing a decision on you.

We went first stating our side to the mediators, we told the mediators that we were still willing to adhere to the agreement that we had in place when Teri took the pictures. We’d pay Teri $125, she gives us the raw pictures like she said she would and we’d part ways. For obvious reasons we were not willing to get prints through her. The thing was that we had pay to file the small claims case against her and we felt that Teri’s unwillingness to work out the situation outside of the court system forced us to file the case; so we said we’d pay Teri $2.18 which when added to our filing costs added up to $125.

Then Teri told her side, continued to lie, said that we could get prints from her, for whatever amount she decided to pull out of her disgustingly oversized butt at that moment and we could only have the raw pictures if we paid her $800. She droned on about being a professional, it was really the most frustrating part, having to sit there and listen to Teri blather on knowing full well that she was lying.

After we both stated our sides the mediators started to… mediate. We went back and forth, neither of us willing to back down from our position. We weren’t willing to back down because we were not going to allow Teri to lie, cheat, and steal from us. Teri was not backing down because she’s a stubborn thief.

The mediators asked to speak with each of us privately, we went first. We basically told the mediators we were not going to back down; Teri agreed to give us the raw pictures and we were not going to give her the satisfaction of paying her any more money than we agreed to. It wasn’t like we had $800 just to slap down and give her anyway. Sandi was very emotional at this point; it was incredibly frustrating that even in a court house Teri would not admit that she agreed to give us the raw pictures. We also discussed Teri’s counter suit, as frivolous as it was, it did present a risk to us. If we went before a judge there was a possibility that we could end up being ordered to pay Teri even more than the $800 raw picture fee she pulled out of her disgustingly oversized butt.

Teri then took her turn to meet with the mediators privately… what they talked about we don’t know but I’d stake my life that Teri continued to lie. After Teri was done lying to the mediators privately we were called back into the room.

I’m pretty good at reading people, the mediators were frustrated because they really wanted to find a resolution to the situation and even after nearly two hours of mediation Sandi and I were not budging and neither was Teri. I’m obviously biased but I felt like they were sympathetic towards Sandi and me⁸. It was getting to the point where they were going to have to call it and we’d have to go before a judge.

Sandi summed it up very well when she told the mediators – What we are purposing, sticking to the original agreement does not cost us or Teri anything. What Teri is purposing does not cost her anything, but costs us $800, on top of the fact that it goes completely against what Teri agreed to in the first place.

The mediators told us Teri was willing to show us some of the pictures she brought of our wedding; maybe if we saw them we’d be willing to budge a little. Up till this point Teri had been unwilling to show us any of our pictures unless we paid her, so this was progress.

Sandi left the decision up to me and I thought for a little bit and finally told the mediators: If we look at the pictures, and decide that they are not worth fighting for, or paying $800 for, then we will just walk away and drop our suit as long as Teri drops her counter suit. Sandi added that Teri also has to agree to destroy the pictures. Teri refused to agree to destroy the pictures, she insisted that one day we’d come to “our senses” and pay her for them. Not likely.

Teri tried to get the mediators to add that Sandi and I could not “talk bad about her” to anyone… the mediators gave her a look like “are you five?”

We finally came to an agreement that if we looked at the pictures, did not feel that they were worth it we’d drop our suit, Teri would drop hers and Teri was barred from using any pictures from our wedding in any personal or professional capacity; in other words – she might as well destroy them because they would never see the light of day anyway.

Teri slid over a sheet with four pictures printed on it – I looked at them, Sandi looked at them. I wanted to jump across the table and beat the living crap out of Teri. How dare she put Sandi and I through this, how dare she taint our wedding day like this, how dare she force us to this room, on this day, only to show us the complete and utter pile of crap that were the pictures she took of our wedding.

Sandi and I were thinking the same thing: If you were trying to convince someone that your pictures are worth something, wouldn’t you bring your best examples? Holy monkey balls, there is no way that we’d pay her $8.00 for those pictures let alone $800.

After seeing the pictures Sandi, emotionally spent, asked me to make the final decision to drop it or see a judge.

Throughout all this Teri kept telling us what great pictures she took, and we kept reminding her that she hadn’t shown any of them to us. If she had just shown them to us in the first place, it would have never gone as far as it did because the pictures simply were not worth the fight. Sandi and I were operating off the principal of the matter, we’d already emotionally written off the pictures but Teri was trying to screw us over and we were not going to take that lying down. Before this, I thought justice would be Teri giving us our pictures per our agreement, or a judge ordering her to do so. But then, looking at those pictures, I realized that justice could be found simply by telling Teri that her pictures were not worth fighting for.

I threw the pictures back at Teri and told the mediators we’d be dropping our suit, per the agreement.

[conclusion]

In the end Teri did not get any of the money she claimed we owed her tried to steal from us and she can’t use our pictures for anything⁹, not her portfolio, not anything. Sandi and I maintained control – Teri agreed to our terms to end the suit, she didn’t even get her laughable “can’t talk bad about me” condition put in the agreement.

Teri’s hope in all this was that we’d want the pictures so bad that we’d do anything for them, and she was wrong. If we had taken the suit to a judge we would have been sending the message to Teri that the pictures were worth something and they just weren’t. In fact, had Teri not been such a twat and shown us the pictures to begin with, we would have dismissed the issue long before we filed a case against her.

Teri thought she saw an opportunity to make a quick buck; she tried, and failed to hold our wedding pictures hostage for ransom. I’d suggest that if Teri want’s to try this scam with anyone else, she should do some reading and actually get pictures at least worth the paper they are printed on.

[grace]

Sandi and I still have plenty of pictures of our wedding, friends and family, decent human beings, who took snapshots have freely given us the pictures they took; no undue payment or contracts required. We do not have the “posed” pictures but we have had several people (including a real professional photographer) offer to do those for us if we want to dress back up.

¹ “Firefly” Our Mrs. Reynolds (2002)^↵

⁹ The verbiage used is clear and we made sure of that. If it’s of our wedding, and she took it, she can’t use it in anyway shape or form. If she took a picture of the grass at our wedding, she can’t use it. Those family pictures she was taking while deleting ours? Nope sorry, bummer for you Jim and Kim. She can’t print them, show them, sell them, give them away, hell it could be argued that she can’t look at them. Oh, and those pictures of our wedding cake she has on her FaceBook – need to be pulled off. If she uses them in any personal or professional capacity she will find herself back in court.^↵

I was sitting in a waiting room with a TV tuned to the “History Channel” (which I happen to like). Since I was not there to watch TV, and the audio was down to a waiting room volume (i.e. you could barely hear it) I was only half watching. I did decipher that the program had something to do with UFO conspiracy theorists, trying to get presidents to admit that the US Government has evidence that we have been, or are being visited by aliens. I guess in UFO conspiracy circles there is a belief that the president is briefed on all the UFO happenings that our government knows about.

Now, I’m not going to get into the fact that there is zero scientific evidence that Earth has been visited by aliens, other than to say that while it’s cool to think about, entertaining and makes for good TV and movies – UFOs are bunk.

But it got me thinking…

So, what if the president admitted to UFO conspiracy theorists that the US Government is engaging in an active cover-up to hide evidence that we have been visited by aliens? Would they believe him? Could they? After all, they believe that the president is a part of the conspiracy to begin with. So, even if the president did admit something, even showed them evidence how could they believe him? He’s a part of the conspiracy after all.

The people that believe this sort of thing, UFO conspiracy theories, will never be able to accept truth; even if it’s the truth they wanted to hear. So, even if the president did confirm a UFO conspiracy theory, UFO conspiracy theorists would just turn around and claim that his admission is a part of a larger, more elaborate conspiracy to cover up another even more elaborate conspiracy, so on and so on.