My new book, Say “Yes, And!” is launching next Tuesday, February 28th. Here’s a short fun and video that explains what “Yes, And!” is and why you should care:

NOTE: Buy a copy of Say “Yes, And!” on Tuesday, February 28th and you’ll get access to over $200 in bonuses! For more information, visit: SayYesAnd.com

My new book, “Say, ‘Yes, And!’” is officially launching next Tuesday, February 28th.

For the next four days, I am GIVING AWAY PDF copies at NO CHARGE!

Visit this page to grab your copy now:

Say “Yes, And!” Free Giveaway!

Enjoy!
Avish

P.S. Don’t delay! After this Thursday, 2/23, that offer comes down!

How often do you “but” the people you love? Have you though about the message that sends?

When it comes to the people we are closest to in our lives – significant others, children, parents, etc. – we want to love them unconditionally. Unconditional love means “to love someone regardless of one’s actions or beliefs.” It’s the kind of love that says, “I love you no matter what.” It’s pretty awesome.

Saying, “I love you” is a great way to express your love. However, too often we say “I love you” and follow it immediately with the word, “but.”

Unfortunately, “but” is the ultimate conditional word.

When you start a sentence with “I love you, but…” you are sending the message that your love has limits. That it has conditions. That it depends on how the other person behaves.

Yes, you may at times need to express displeasure. You may need to correct behavior. You may need to express anger.

However, doing any of those things by starting with “I love you, but…” does not achieve the goal you think it does. You want the message to be “I want you to know that even though I am getting mad at you, I still love you.”

Though that’s what you want the message to be, and though that’s what your words seem to literally say, that doesn’t necessarily mean that’s the meaning being conveyed.

In learning, the “Law of Recency” says that “the most recent response is most likely to reoccur.” Basically, that means that people remember what happens last. If you lead with “I love you but…,” guess what will be remembered?

Yup. Whatever comes after the “but.” Which is the negative part.

There are three ways to avoid this:

1)      Drop the “I love you” altogether – Not the best solution, I’ll admit. But better to just give your feedback in that moment without tying it to the level of your love. Of course, this strategy only works if you make it a point to tell the person that you love them, later, without qualification.

2)      Move the “I love you” to later – Give your feedback, criticism, whatever, and then say “I love you.” Let that be the last thing they remember.

3)      Switch to “I love you and” – This is the most effective strategy. It’s also the most difficult. When you find yourself starting to say, “I love you, but…” switch to “I love you, and…” It will be difficult, because you can’t just replace “but” with “and” and say the same thing you were going to anyway.  You’ll have to rephrase. So, “I love you but when you leave your dirty clothes on the floor it pisses me off,” becomes “I love you and I’d really appreciate it if you would remember to put your clothes in the hamper.” The “and” primes your mind to go down a more positive path.

Is this just semantics? Could be. But the words we choose are one of the main ways we communicate with each other. Why wouldn’t you want to carefully select them to make sure the people you love know that you love them unconditionally?

For the people you love the most, for the ones who you truly do love unconditionally, stop saying, “I love you but…” Switch to “I love you and…” and let them know how much you love then.

What better gift could you give your loved ones on Valentine’s Day?

***
Want to learn more about the idea of saying “Yes, And!”? Then sign up to receive your free Pre-Release copy of Avish’s new book, Say “Yes, And!” between Feb 20 and Feb 23!

www.SayYesAnd.com

The internet is a weird, cool place. It provides information to resources, information, contacts, and potential buyers, right there at the tips of your fingers. You can get a tremendous accomplished without ever leaving home. Or showering. Or putting your pants on (not that I would know anything about that…).

Of course, the internet is not magic. Too many people use it ineffectively because they don’t understand what it is best used for.

Just because you can send marketing messages and advertisements for free (via email, blog post, tweet, status update, etc.) doesn’t mean you always should. Of course you can mix it up, but too many people just blast nothing but “BUY NOW!” messages.

So, if you are not going to use the internet to blast your prospects with sales messages, what should you use it for?

You can use it for many things:

• Building relationships with prospects
• Addressing customer issues and complaints
• Researching what the trends and challenges of your industry are
• And more

An interesting perspective on this is the idea of using the internet to first and foremost build trust.

This is the entire premise of the New York Times bestselling book, “Trust Agents” by Chris Brogan and Julien Smith. The book explains why and how you should use the internet to build trust in a way that is authentic and that helps you grow your business.

From the description:

“…once you’ve established your reputation, you can build influence, share it, and reap the benefits of it for your business. When you’ve learned a trust agent’s secrets, your words can carry more power and more weight than any PR firm or big corporate marketing department.”

This is a great book that may change the way you go about your marketing efforts and your use of social media.

I’m not going to go into deep detail here about everything the book covers. I would recommend picking up a copy, reading it, and seeing how you can apply the ideas to your own business.

What I want to talk about here is improv comedy.

Yes. Improv comedy.

You see, I was happily reading “Trust Agents” when to my pleasant surprise I came across a section titled, “How ‘Yes, and…’ Applies to Trust Agents.”

Wow! A book on using the internet to build trust and grow a business that devotes two pages to talking about improv comedy. Awesome.

(If you are new to this blog and not sure why that excites me so, it’s because the idea of applying improv comedy ideas to business and life is what my speaking business is all about. I even wrote two books about it: Improvise to Success! and Say “Yes, And!”)

From the book (emphasis mine)

Powerful stuff, eh? The one detail of saying, “Yes, And” makes a world of difference.

When you say “Yes, And,” or at the very least think in terms of “Yes, And,” you are keeping your mind open to possibilities and opportunities.

This is certainly easier said than done. Most of us have a tendency to think and say, “No,” or “yes, but” as a default response. By simply approaching everything in your life with a “Yes, And” approach, you create and find options for your life and business that you would have otherwise overlooked.

Ask yourself, “Am I a ‘Yes, And’ person or a ‘yes, but’ person?” Be honest. Don’t beat yourself up if you realize that you tend to say and think, “yes, but.” At the same time, now that you know, work on developing a “Yes, And” mindset. It can help both you and your business grow.

Now, let me leave you with a final quote from Trust Agents:

“Understanding improvisational comedy has actually made a difference in our business lives.”

Hey, if it’s good enough for a New York Times bestseller, shouldn’t it be good enough for the rest of us?

***
Want to learn more about the idea of saying “Yes, And!”? Then sign up to receive your free Pre-Release copy of Avish’s new book, Say “Yes, And!” between Feb 20 and Feb 23!

www.SayYesAnd.com

Meetings suck.

Sorry if that sounds too rude or blunt, but you know it’s true. Meetings, while sometimes necessary and occasionally useful, are quite often a giant waste of time.

Ask someone who spends long hours at the office and they’ll tell you that it’s because they spend so much time in meetings they have to work late to get their “real work” done. Even if the meeting itself is necessary, it’s not uncommon for it to take much longer than it needs to.

If you are a leader or manager, then it is your job to run the meeting. This means it’s your job to be respectful of everyone’s time and to make the meeting as efficient as possible.

Here are five ways of doing this that you may not have considered:

1) Start and End on Time

This one should be a no-brainer, but for some reason it isn’t. And quite often, it’s the leader who’s the worst offender.

If you’re running the meeting, be there ready to start on time. If all possible, don’t wait for people who are late. If tardiness is a persistent problem with some attendees, talk to them and let them know that it is unacceptable.

Similarly, don’t let your meetings run over time. Be respectful of everyone’s time, and don’t be the reason someone ends up late for another meeting they have to attend.

2) “Time-box” Your Activities

Time-boxing is a time-management technique where you break your activities into small chunks and then assign blocks of time to work on them. When the block of time is done, you move on. You can do this in your meetings as well.

Once you know what you need to cover in your meeting, assign a time period to each item. Spend only that much time on each item, and make sure that’s the only thing you focus on during that time. You’ll be amazed at how efficient you can be when you

1. Assign a time-frame.
2. Only focus on one thing at a time.

As the leader, it will be your job to make sure everyone sticks to the schedule and stays on task.

3) Know What Decisions You Have to Make. Then Make Them.

Meetings (specifically, internal team meetings) are best used to do two things:

1. Brainstorm ideas
2. Make decisions

Sadly, so many meetings end up being filled with status updates or meandering discussion.

Before you run a meeting, be clear on not just what you need to cover, but what outcomes you need to achieve. Be clear on what decisions need to be made before the meeting ends. Then make those decisions.

Decisions can be made by majority vote or an individual (in the case where one person owns the project). But nothing happens until a decision gets made. So don’t let your meeting end without making the decisions that need to be made.

4) Use a Consent Agenda

The first time someone explained a “consent agenda” to me, I thought, “What’s the big deal? It’s just a set of pre-meeting reports.” Boy was I wrong…

In a nutshell, here’s how a consent agenda works.

• Everyone attending the meeting submits a report of what they have been up to, what challenges they have faced, and what they are proposing. The report needs to be submitted in advance by at least a few days.
• One central person collects and emails out the reports to everyone. Everyone reads all the reports when they have time. But it has to be before the meeting.
• At the meeting, the person running it makes a motion to approve the consent agenda.
• If you (or anyone) wants to discuss any part of someone’s report, you say so here.
• Once all the bits that need to be discussed are identified, the group votes to pass everything else that’s still in the agenda.
• Once that vote passes, those items are not discussed the rest of the meeting.
• The group then goes through all the items that were marked as “to-be discussed.”

That’s it. I’m sure I’ve over-simplified it a bit, and you “Roberts Rules” loving types are probably blowing a gasket, but that’s the gist. For more info, search Google for “consent agenda.”

The beauty of the consent agenda is that it eliminates the boring, pro-longed status updates that bog down every meeting.

“What if people don’t read the reports in advance? What if they don’t submit them in advance?”

Good questions. This is the greatest strength and weakness of the consent agenda: it forces your meeting attendees to act like professionals and adults…

If you’re the leader, take a hard line on both submitting reports and reading them in advance.

It may be difficult at first, but it will be well worth it. With one organization, we were able to cut a board meeting that traditionally took two hours down to thirty minutes – and sometimes even less!

5) Get Rid of the Chairs

To be honest, I have not tried this idea, but I love it in concept.

The next time you have a meeting, do it standing up. Use a room that has no chairs, remove the chairs from the room, or just force everyone to stand.

It is very easy to sit back, get comfortable, and lose track of time when you are sitting in a comfortable chair at a big conference table.

If you want to run an efficient meeting, take that comfort away. Have everyone stand up and you’ll be amazed at how efficient people become.

Having a “standing meeting” can be incredibly useful for brainstorming session. Creative energy is usually much higher when people are standing up then when they are slumped back in a chair.

This approach won’t work for all people, all environments, or all types of meetings. However, when you can use it, you may find it to be incredibly powerful.

When used effectively, meetings are a great way to collaborate, stay on track, and make key decisions. When used poorly, as they so often are, they are a great way to waste a lot of people’s time. Try the five techniques above to run better, more efficient, and more productive meetings. Your employees will thank you!

***
Do you want help making better long term decisions? How about help figuring out what exactly it is that you want? Or maybe you know, but your problem is that you don’t know how to put together a plan to get you there?  Or perhaps you have a plan, but never feel motivated to follow it? Or you jyst get easily derailed when things go wrong? If so, than the Smart Ass Success! Learn the 7 Steps to Getting What You Really Want – Even If You Have No Idea What That Is! FREE E-Book is for you! It addresses those questions (and more) to help you get on the path towards figuring out what you really want – and then getting it! Don’t let another year pass you by. Click here to download your free copy now!

Today is National Rush Day!

No, that does not mean that today we celebrate Rush Limbaugh, or that we go out and join a sorority or fraternity.

No, what it means is that today we honor and celebrate the music of the greatest rock band ever: RUSH!! 

I don’ know who decided it, but I am glad they did. Today makes sense because the album that made Rush’s career was called “2112,” and today is February 1^st, 2012 (2-1-12. Get it?).

I could spend this entire post just talking about how awesome Rush is, but rather than do that, I will pass along some Motivational Smart Ass wisdom I have gleaned from the greatness that is Rush.

Here are 5 MORE Great Motivational Lines from Rush Songs (You can read the first five here)

1) Freewill

Album: Permanent Waves

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice

This song has quite a few lines around the idea of pre-destination and whether there are higher powers that guide our lives. Rather than open up the door (and my comments) to a huge religious debate, I want to simply focus on the most powerful line in the song: “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

How awesome is that? And so appropriate. Many live their lives avoiding making decisions, putting things off until:

1. The decision no longer matters
2. Someone else decides
3. Time (or some other factor) makes the decision for them

It’s tempting to avoid tough decisions until they go away on their own. Just remember that you’re still making a decision when you choose to put things off.

Also, keep in mind that great leaders, entrepreneurs, and artists are the ones who make strong, tough choices (maybe not in every area of their lives, but certainly in the areas they excel in). If you want to be great at something, if you want to build your business or further your career, then get better at making real choices.

Rush Wants to Know: Are you making a real choice, or are you choosing not to decide? Even if you believe in fate, are you still taking actions, making decisions, and doing things to move you forward? Exert your freewill!

2) The Pass

Album: Presto

All of us get lost in the darkness
Dreamers learn to steer by the stars
All of us do time in the gutter
Dreamers turn to look at the cars

Let me get this out right now: this song is about the tragedy of teenage suicide.  I would never profess to offer advice to someone thinking about killing themselves (I’ll leave that to the professionals) but the message in the song is terrific for anyone who ever feels down, lost, or like giving up.

The difference between people who continue to work towards their goals and dreams when things get down and those who pack it in is perspective.  The dreamers, the ones who keep progressing, take on two perspectives that others don’t:

1. They look at whatever good they can find. Stars in the darkness, cars in the gutter, etc. You can focus on what’s awful, or look for the silver lining. Dreamers look at the good.
2. They realize they are not alone. When things aren’t going right, it’s easy to say, “Woe is me,” and wonder why everyone else is doing so well but you suck so hard. It helps to remember that everyone you are comparing yourself to, at some point, was down and faced the darkness sometime.  If they got out of it, you can too.

Life is full of ups and downs. Learn to ride out the downs and stay on track, and your ups will be even higher.

Rush Wants to Know: How do you respond (or how have you responded) to your down times? Do you have a tendency to give up, or do you dig in, make the best of your situation, and realize that this happens to everyone?

3) Carve Away the Stone

Album: Test for Echo

You can roll that stone
To the top of the hill
Drag your ball and chain
Behind you
You can carry that weight
With an iron will
Or let the pain remain
Behind you

Chip away the stone
Chip away the stone
Make the burden lighter
If you must roll that rock alone

This was something of a forgotten song for me, as it’s at the end of one of Rush’s less great albums (notice I said, “less great,” and not “bad.” Don’t even think it…) However, I started re-listening to it and have found it really resonating with me, in great part due to the lyrics.

The premise of the song is simple: you can either hold-on to the burden of whatever is weighing you down or you can let it go, little by little, to make your life a whole lot easier.

Too many of us carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. It could be guilt from the past, anxiety about the future, an overly developed sense of responsibility, or whatever.

While some pressure and stress can help spur you to action, too much will weight you down and prevent you from achieving all that you want and deserve.

Rush Wants to Know: What are you holding on to that is weighing you down? What do you need to let go of? What can you do to “carve away the stone” and make the burden lighter?

4) Roll the Bones

Album: Roll the Bones

Well, you can stake that claim
Good work is the key to good fortune
Winners take that praise
Losers seldom take that blame
…
Why are we here?
Because we’re here
Roll the bones
Why does it happen?
Because it happens
Roll the bones

Back when Roll the Bones came out, my non-Rush fan friends (yes, I had some, though for the life of me I can’t imagine why) took great joy in making fun of me by mocking these lyrics. I suppose the chorus, “Why are we here? Because we’re here / Roll the bones” could sound a little trite.

To me, however, it’s a powerful line and a reminder that sometimes, Ding Happens!  It helps if you know that the phrase, “Roll the Bones” means “roll the dice.”

When things go wrong through no fault of our own, it’s easy to throw your hands up and scream, “why me?? Why did this happen to me??” The answer in this song is that sometimes it’s just blind luck (good or bad).

On the one hand, this may sound depressing and not motivational at all. “You mean that I could not succeed, just due to random chance?” Well, yeah.

But, the motivational part comes in when you use the “Roll the Bones” approach to dealing with the unexpected when it does occur.  Many people waste a ton of time and energy lamenting their fate, trying to assign blame, and wondering why the universe has it in for them.

A much more powerful approach is to simply accept that hey, something things go wrong. Pick up the pieces, fix it, and move on. This is not to say that you shouldn’t learn from mistakes and try to find out what went wrong. But sometimes you just have to let it go.

Remember, “Winners take the praise,” that “good work is the key to good fortune.”

Rush Wants to Know: When things go wrong, do you spend energy blaming some unseen force, or do you waste time feeling sorry for yourself? Be a winner, and take responsibility for your own success.

(You’re going to want to watch this video, because at one point there is a rapping skeleton…)

5) Everyday Glory

Album: Counterparts

If the future’s looking dark
We’re the ones who have to shine
If there’s no one in control
We’re the ones who draw the line
Though we live in trying times
We’re the ones who have to try
Though we know that time has wings
We’re the ones who have to fly…

This is a simple song about the importance of everyday people taking action to make things better, regardless of how bad things may be around them.

Ultimately, you’re the one responsible for you. In fact, most major changes start with an individual saying, “I have to do something.” That could be righting a wrong, fighting an injustice, or simply taking control of your own life.

Remember, all great people started out as simple people making the decision to take action. There’s no reason that can’t be you.

Rush Wants to Know:  Are you sitting around, waiting for someone or something to come along that makes everything better?  Or are you taking action, however small, to “be the one has to shine”?

(Shockingly, I could not find a version of this song on Youtube. Go find it on Spotify and give it a listen…)

There you have it: 5 more awesomely motivational lines from awesomely great Rush songs. Go, listen to Rush, and be motivated.

And for those of you who have no idea what 2112 is, sit back, relax, and enjoy the next 20 minutes of your life:

Happy National Rush Day!

P.S. Why not let all the Rush-o-philes in your life (you know there are some!) know about this post? Click the Facebook “Like” button at the top of this page and share the love

***
Do you want help making better long term decisions? How about help figuring out what exactly it is that you want? Or maybe you know, but your problem is that you don’t know how to put together a plan to get you there?  Or perhaps you have a plan, but never feel motivated to follow it? Or you jyst get easily derailed when things go wrong? If so, than the Smart Ass Success! Learn the 7 Steps to Getting What You Really Want – Even If You Have No Idea What That Is! FREE E-Book is for you! It addresses those questions (and more) to help you get on the path towards figuring out what you really want – and then getting it! Don’t let another year pass you by. Click here to download your free copy now!

My friend, business partner, and occasional speaking/training co-presenter, Fred Gleeck, has released a new book today. If you order it TODAY (and today ONLY!) you can get not only the book, but also over $2,000 in bonuses!

http://sellyourbrainpower.com/

The book is titled, “Sell Your Brain Power!” and is a step-by-step guide that shows you how to extract, package, and sell all that great information and experience you have in your head.

If you’ve ever looked at my internet products and offerings and thought, “Hey, I’d like to be able to do that,” this book is a great way to learn how.

Plus, Fred has secured over $2,000 in bonuses from experts (including me!) that you can get, but only if you buy the book today, January 31st.

http://sellyourbrainpower.com/

Here’s the description from Amazon:

Want to make money selling information products? Then this is the book for you!

No matter what your topic, there is probably someone who would be interested in learning how to do it. YOU can sell them that information!

Virtually ANY topic lends itself to the field of information marketing. YOU could be cashing in on this hot new trend.

Know a lot about skiing or gardening or quilting? Why not sell what you know about that topic to others? Help make their lives easier and get paid for doing it.

This book is a no-nonsense, step by step, guided tour to show you how to make money selling info products.

My name is Fred Gleeck. If you Google the term “Information Marketing” I come up #1! I’ve been working in this field for almost 30 years.

This book is my roadmap to show you how to make it in this business without making the mistakes that I did.

In this comprehensive, content packed book you’ll learn:

• Systems You MUST put in place before you start
• The SEVEN Key Steps to Info Marketing Success
• How to Select the Right Niche to Go After
• Ways to Write Effective Copy to Sell Your Info
• Creating KILLER Audio Products People Will Love
• Designing a Website That Will Sell Your Products
• How to Effectively Drive Traffic to Your Site
• Converting a Greater Number of Visitors to Buyers
• Getting Customers to Buy More and More Often
• Resources you MUST Use to be Successful
• And Much, Much More!

This book is your roadmap to success in the field of information marketing. Nothing has been left to chance. Don’t try to do it alone. Instead benefits from the mistakes I’ve made so you don’t have to make them yourself.

This book is all MEAT and no FLUFF. It explains a system I’ve used and taught to many others. It has worked for THEM and it will work for YOU.

http://sellyourbrainpower.com/

Remember, the bonuses are good only if you buy it today, January 31st!

Don’t be a time manager, be a priority manager. 

- Denis Waitley

Yesterday, I wrote a post titled, “6 Reasons Why Your Priorities Get all Screwed Up”

If you read that article, then you may have thought, “Hey that’s great, but what do I DO about it?”

This post answers that question for you.

Here are five techniques you can use to keep yourself on-track and focused on your highest priority tasks:

1) Identify and Commit

In order to do high priority work, you need to first identify what that high priority work is!

Ask yourself:

• Where do I want to go/what do I want to achieve?
• What is the best, fastest way for me to achieve that?
• Am I willing to do that, with the energy and consistency required?

If the answer is “yes,” then you have identified your highest priority activity. If “no,” ask the questions again, starting with, “What is the next best way for me to achieve my goal?”

You don’t have to always commit to the number one best way, but if you find yourself repeatedly, saying, “no, I’m not willing to do that,” you may want to look at how committed you are to your goal.

This doesn’t have to be a one time thing. Feel free to revisit once a month, quarter, year, etc.

2) Change How You Measure “Success”

We live in a results-oriented world. I have nothing against results – in fact, I appreciate how much results matter. However, if you base your day-to-day success only on results, you can encounter two problems:

1. You may get discouraged when implementing long term strategies that don’t pay-off immediately.
2. You may be fooled into believing that you are doing well, when in fact you have just been lucky.

By all means, monitor, measure, and analyze your results. However, when it comes to day-to-activities, measure your success by how well you accomplished the tasks you have determined to be high-priority.

If you do what you planned to then you had a successful day, even if you didn’t get an immediate result. If after a few weeks or months you still have no results, then it’s time to revisit your plan.

3) Block Out Distractions

Emails, phone calls, conversations with co-workers and family members. These are all interruptions that can shift your attention onto lower priority activities.

You don’t have to isolate yourself in a pod all day (but if you can, go for it!), but when you are working on higher priority items, limit your distractions and keep working until you are done.

Close your email and web browser, shut off your phone, close your office door, etc. Do whatever you must to stay focused and get things done.

4) High Priority Work First, Shiny New Sexy Stuff Later

Work first, chair races second...

The point of this article is not that you should never deviate from your plan. That would show a distinct lack of creativity and flexibility (pretty silly advice for an improviser to give, no?).

However, few opportunities are so fleeting that they must be pursued “right now!” As such, make sure that when you chase a bright, shiny, sexy, new opportunity that you do so after completing your high priority work.

“After” can mean later in the day (high priority work in the morning, fun new stuff later), later in the week (Monday and Tuesday are for sales calls, Wednesday through Friday are for fun creative work), or days or weeks later (let me finish this project first, and then, once it is complete, I will try this new thing)

Smart producers will use the appeal of trying something new and fun as motivation to get the high priority stuff done…

5) Get an Accountability Buddy

One way to stay on track is to have an “accountability buddy.” This is someone who you check in with regularly (daily or weekly) and discuss two things:

1. What your highest priority activities are for the next day or week
2. How successful you were at finishing your highest priority activities for the previous day or week.

Your buddy doesn’t have to be a business partner, employee, or supervisor. The best accountability buddies are often friends and colleagues who understand what you do, understand what you need, and will do a good job of not letting you off the hook when you skip your high priority activities.

Knowing that you are going to have to report on and take accountability for your success or failure in completing your highest priority activities can be a great motivator.

Of course, the accountability is mutual, so you need to keep your partner on-track too. That way it’s win-win for you both!

Stop Reading and Get to Work!

Look, I’m very happy that you are choosing to read my blog. I want you to keep reading it, keep coming back to it, and keep spreading the word about it.

However, let me ask you a question: Have you already completed your highest priority activities for today!

If the answer is “no,” then bookmark this page and get back to work!

Unless, of course, you have identified “reading this blog” as one of your highest priority activities, which would be very awesome indeed. In that case, carry on…

P.S. Hey, if you like this post, why don’t you share the love and click the Facebook “Like” button at the top of this page…?

***
Do you want help making better long term decisions? How about help figuring out what exactly it is that you want? Or maybe you know, but your problem is that you don’t know how to put together a plan to get you there?  Or perhaps you have a plan, but never feel motivated to follow it? Or you jyst get easily derailed when things go wrong? If so, than the Smart Ass Success! Learn the 7 Steps to Getting What You Really Want – Even If You Have No Idea What That Is! FREE E-Book is for you! It addresses those questions (and more) to help you get on the path towards figuring out what you really want – and then getting it! Don’t let another year pass you by. Click here to download your free copy now!

On this blog, and in my speeches, I use the phrase, “Ding! Happens.” If you have seen me speak, then you know exactly what I am talking about. If not, you may be confused. Here then is the explanation of “Ding! Happens.”

“Ding! Happens” means the same thing as, “Stuff Happens,” of more correctly, “[Insert your favorite expletive"] Happens.”

The “Ding!” comes from an improv comedy game that I play to start off my speaking programs. In it, I give an audience volunteer a bell, and then I begin telling a story. The volunteer can ring the bell (“Ding!”) anytime they want. When they do, I have to roll my story back, start repeating what I said, but change it to something different. For example:

“Once upon a time there was a girl who had a pet dog”
Ding!
“Once upon a time there was a girl who had a pet cat”
Ding!
“Once upon a time there was a girl who had a pet mouse”
Ding!
“Once upon a time there was a girl who had a pet llama”

Whatever. I can say anything I want, as long as it is different. If the volunteer doesn’t ring I just keep telling the story but only as if the last thing was said. So in this example the dog, cat, and mouse would all be gone, and we would have a story about a girl and her pet llama.

To see examples of this game inaction, visit the videos page

The game is fast, high-energy, and funny. The lesson from the game is that the universe acts in just the same way. You are moving nicely down one path and everything is coming along fine and then all of a sudden, “Ding!” the universe throws you a curve-ball and says, “here, deal with this.”

Anyone can do well when everything goes well. What separates people who succeed in the long run from those who fail or give up is how they respond to the unexpected when it happens – because it will!

So how do you respond when Ding Happens? I’m glad you asked…

The Step By Step Process to Improvising With Anything

When Ding! Happens the people who excel, succeed, and thrive, are the ones who react quickly and take powerful action. This is true for improv comedians performing for an audience or for non-performers going about their lives. The thing that allows great improviser to improvise effectively, on stage or off, is that they have conditioned themselves to react to the unexpected automatically in a way that keeps them out of paralysis and gets them moving forward. They may not even consciously know that they do this, but they do.

In my work as a performer and instructor of improv comedy, as well as my work speaking and training for organizations on how to apply improv comedy to their businesses, I have developed a simple but powerful step by step process that will allow anyone to improvise with anything that life throws at them. The process consists of two underlying mentalities followed by the three simple steps.

The process can be applied consciously at first, but over time the goal is to be so well versed in the process that it happens automatically, in every scenario. That is the key to being a fantastic improvisor.

The Process:

The Two Mentalities

1) Have Fun

You can not perform improv comedy if you are not willing to have fun (believe me, I have seen people try!) You can go through life without having fun, but why would you want to? Life is too short…

Having fun Is more than just a quality of life issue though. When you are having fun, you free up your creative power, you are more open to taking (calculated) risks, and you have more energy. Your ability to have fun directly impacts your performance.

Have you ever watched a sporting event on TV and heard the commentators say about the team that was winning, “they look like they are having fun out there?” Sometimes we think that they have fun because they are winning; the opposite is actually true. The more fun they have the more likely they are to win.

This is not to say that bad things won’t happen. They key is to realize that a) No matter how bad things are, your bad mood won’t change them and b) by relaxing and heaving fun you increase your chances of turning things around.

Great improvisers know how to focus on the fun even in tough times.

2) Be Willing to Fail

Improv is inherently a risky type of performance. You can’t pre-write and rehearse the lines you will say – after all, you are making it up on the spot! Every time you step out to do a show, you have no idea what will happen.

That level of risk makes many people terribly afraid of improvising. Sadly, the more afraid you are, the more likely you are to fail.

While great improvisers have trained in a way to reduce risk, that risk never completely goes away. The best improvisers accept that failure is a very real possibility, and then take action (and have fun) anyway. That willingness to mess it up actually decreases the likeliness of failure.

The same thing applies in the “real world.” If you approach a task with the fear of failure, you will get tense, stressed, and be unnatural. All of these things hamper your ability to perform well. Only when you let go of that fear can you do your best. And only by accepting that the worst may happen and if it does you will be fine can you let go of that fear.

Note: I am not saying that failure is ok. Failing can be very bad and can carry sever consequences. They key is to realize that while you are taking action you must accept the possibility of failure so it no longer has power over you. That is what great improvisers do.

Think of something you excel at. I am going to bet that you a)have fun doing it and b) aren’t afraid of messing it up. On the flip side, think of an area in your life where you feel weak at or you feel could use improvement. I will bet that you a) don’t have fun doing and probably get tense or down just thinking about it and b) put so much importance on it that you are terribly afraid of messing it up.

These two mentalities are universal. Develop them and you will be better at everything you do, even if you don’t learn or apply the three steps.

The Three Steps:

1) Know Your Outcomes

When ding happens, many people respond by working harder on what they were already doing. While hard work is admirable, this is a bad strategy. You see, when the unexpected occurs, our previous plans and tasks may become completely invalid. If we focus immediately on details or process, we may miss the big picture and end up wasting lots of time and energy. Great improvisers know that as soon as ding happens, they need to focus and evaluate their outcomes.

I learned this from my performing days. I have seen improv comedians who are technically proficient. They do everything right. But for some reason, they are just not that much fun to watch. On the flip side, I have seen improvisers who aren’t technically perfect. They make some mistakes. But they are ridiculously entertaining. Guess who I want in my group? I learned that the goal of a comedy show is to entertain and make the audience laugh. The improv games and skills were tools to accomplish that. This doesn’t mean that I would want to work with someone who was technically awful (I think great skills are the key to great entertainment). But if I have to choose between technically sound and amazingly entertaining vs. technically amazing and just “sound” in terms of entertainment, I am going with the first choice because that fits the outcome!

When the unexpected occurs (and it will) your first response should be to immediately focus on your outcome. What do you want to accomplish? What is your goal? Quite often, the unexpected event will have changed the outcome. Sometimes the unexpected event will actually open a new and better path to your outcome. By re-focusing immediately you ensure that you will always be taking the right action at the right time.

2) Focus on What You Can Control, Let Go of the Rest

The second step is to focus on what you can control and let go of the rest. So many people waste so much time focusing on things they have no control over. This includes:

• Stressing over what someone else will say or do
• Worrying about what might happen in the future
• Complaining about something that happened in the past
• Hoping a situation will turn out a certain way
• Blaming others for mistakes they made

All of these are examples of putting your attention on things you can not control.

The only thing you can control is what you do, right now. That’s it.

When ding happens, great improvisers put their attention immediately and exclusively on what they can do right now in this moment. That is the key to quickly and powerfully dealing with the unexpected. There is a time and place to lay accountability, examine past mistakes, think about the future. That time is not immediately when ding happens. That time is later, once the crisis is resolved.

Great improvisers know and apply this. People who don’t get this waste precious time and energy focusing on all the wrong things.

3) Say “Yes, And,” Instead of “Yes, But”

One of the core principles to great improv comedy is to say, “yes, and” to your partners. This means that when a fellow performer says something you say, “yes,” to accept their idea and then say, “and’ to add your own input and build off of it.

Sadly, many people say, “yes, but” instead of “yes, and.” “Yes, but” is basically a semi-polite way of saying “no.” Saying “yes but” leads to bad improvisation, on stage or in life.

Here’s why: “yes, but” keeps you stuck exactly where you are. There is no progress, no movement, and no growth. Along those lines, “yes, but” keeps you fixated on the problem.

“Yes, and” is the way to move forward, grow, and progress. When you say “yes, and” you are taking action and switching your attention on to the solution.

Think about a time when someone “yes, butted” you. It probably felt pretty bad, like they were disrespecting you or arguing with you. That’s what “yes, but is,” a negative argument. “Yes, and” is positive and collaborative.

This is not to say that you simply say, “yes,” with everything presented to you, even if you don’t agree. The idea of “yes, and” is a mental technique, not a literal one. The key to “yes, anding” is to think “yes, and” first. Hear someone out. be open to new ideas. Take some chances. You can then later on say, “no,” or “but,” after you have given things a chance. Most people start with “yes, but” and then need to be convinced otherwise. To be a great improviser, you need to start with “yes, and” and then, after thinking things through, later on you can decide to say no.

There you have it. The simple but powerful step by step process to improvising with anything. The next time Ding! Happens try these steps and watch yourself deal with things quickly, powerfully, and with a sense of humor.

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 “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least”

- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Last week I felt I had a very productive week. At least, it seemed like a productive week. I did a lot of work, after all…

Even though I was “productive,” I had a bit of a weird feeling about it. It took me a while to realize that while I did a lot or work and got a lot done, I didn’t make much progress towards my overall goals.

“Why is that,” you ask? It comes down to one word:

PRIORITIZATION

I looked back over all the work I did, and after just a cursory analysis I realized I had spent a lot of times on lower priority tasks.

Keep in mind, I said, “lowER” not “low” priority. The stuff I did was still important. In fact, a lot of what I worked on fit into my top five priorities.

However, a great deal of it did not fall into my top three priorities.

As a result, I did a lot, but didn’t accomplish much.

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever put in a lot of time and effort, and yet still felt you hadn’t accomplished much?

If so, you may be making the same mistake I did: putting too much attention on lower priority work.

Why do we do this?? It seems so logical, doesn’t it? If Task A is the most important, highest priority task on my list, then I will obviously make sure I do it, right?

Wrong. Our highest priority activities are often the ones that get procrastinated, eliminated, and forgotten.

Here are six reasons why this may happen to you:

1) The Lower Priority Work May be More Urgent

Urgent. Not necessarily important

This is time management 101, and many others have written about it, so I won’t rehash it here. In one sentence, this means that you are letting things that demand your attention “right now” take precedence over things that matter most in the long run. If you want to learn more on this, do a Google search on “important vs. urgent.”

2) The Higher Priority Stuff May Suck

Yes, sometimes this is what your highest priority items make you feel like

I’m guessing this is a far more common reason than we’d like to admit. If the most important work you need to do sucks (i.e. you hate it), then you may very well find yourself procrastinating and filling your time with lower priority activities that are more pleasant.

3) The Lower Priority Stuff May be “Shiny and New”

Oooooh, bright and shiny...

For those of you (us) with a short attention span, grinding out high priority work week after week can be a drag. When a new option enters our lives, it may seem excitingto drop everything and pursue it. This is an easy way to get off task.

4) The Lower Priority Stuff May be Sexier

Yes, the sexy stuff can steal your attention.

One of the lower priority items I worked on was creating and posting short Kindle books. That was sexy to me because

• I could quickly have a finished product
• I could quickly start making sales.

Guess what? Each Kindle book sold earns me $0.35 to $3.00. Yes, getting more stuff on Amazon is cool and exciting, and we all love passive income. But the time spent putting together a Kindle book would be far better spent finding and booking speaking gigs. One speaking gig is worth 1,800 to 15,000+ times more than selling a Kindle book. Yes, there is value in creating and posting those books. But that work should come after the highest priority work.

(Note: you can see the three books I have up on Kindle by clicking here…)

5) You May be Getting Pushed to Do Lower Priority Work

Don't be pushed, cajoled, or threatened into low priority work. Even if it's from a ridiculous looking woman.

There is no shortage of people willing to give you advice and opinions on what you can and should be doing. Depending on your opinion of the person and the voracity of their opinion, you may find yourself doubting your plans and switching focus. There’s nothing wrong with re-evaluating; just don’t be so easily swayed that every time an “expert” gives you a dissenting idea that you suddenly change everything.

6) The Low Priority Work Gives You a Sense of Accomplishment

Congratulations Ace, you just accomplished something not at all important

Quite often, the stuff that we believe to have the highest priority doesn’t give us immediate, tangible results. The lower priority stuff often does. Returning to the Kindle example, once I finish a short Kindle book and get it on Amazon, I can pat myself on the back. I can see the result. However, sending 50 emails off to potential clients often feels like spinning my wheels. Yes, those can result in work, but when they do, it is a low percentage return and can often take months to close.

As you can see, there are many reasons we get sucked into doing lower priority work. It is a never ending battle you must, day-after-day, week-after-week, continue to fight if you want to make your life something truly special.

Sometimes the decision gets taken out of your hands. A great boss, mentor, or coach can keep you on high priority tasks at all times (and a bad boss can waste your time with low priority items). A school curriculum defines your priorities. Government regulations can force you to submit certain paperwork at specific times.

However, more often, it is up to you to make sure you stay focused on the tasks that maximize your chances of achieving all those wonderful things we want to achieve.

Question: How easily are you seduced into putting your attention on lower priority work?

Check out part 2! Understanding why you may work on lower priority stuff is only half the battle. Once you realize it’ happening, you need strategies to get yourself back on track.

Read tomorrow’s follow up post to get learn “5 Ways to Stay Focused on High Priority Work!”

P.S. Hey, if you like this post, why don’t you share the love and click the Facebook “Like” button at the top of this page…?

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