Growing up, The Superfriends was one of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons. I was a comic book junkie, so I loved seeing the comics come to life. Looking back on the cartoons now, I realize that they were pretty bad. Fun, but bad. In any case, I still love ‘em…

The Superfriends were a team of heroes, made up of Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Batman and Robin. Like any team, each member had his or her strengths and weaknesses. As I was remembering the Superfriends, I got to thinking about what those strengths and weaknesses were, and what we, as non-superhero non-cartoon adults, could learn from them.

(Interestingly, I have use the heroes’ modern versions, since in the “Superfriends” all the heroes were basically the same person. Different powers with different voices and catch phrases, but other than that they were the exact same person. Same person, same personality, same moral compass. Every single one. Exactly. The. Same.)

Here are success lessons we can learn from each of the five original Superfriends:

Superman

Superman is one of the oldest superheroes, and still one of the most famous and popular. He has it all: super strength, invulnerability, flight, speed, heat vision, x-ray vision, super cold breathe, and, in some versions, the ability to encase his enemies in a giant Saran Wrap “S.”

Superman is so powerful that you wonder why he needs any “super friends” at all. He can pretty much handle anything on his own, right? No, not exactly. And that is because Superman is an idiot.

Ok, he’s not an idiot. He is often portrayed as being quite clever and savvy. The problem with Superman is that since he is so powerful, he tends to immediately launch into attack mode and tries to pummel his opponents into submission. This often leads to him being slapped down, trapped, or teleported away. You would think after the first twenty or so times that he would learn to pause and think before immediately jumping in. But no, when you’re that powerful, you just keep forging ahead.

Superman is the quintessential, “when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail,” guy. By assuming his one solution will apply to all problems, he often lands himself in trouble.

It’s easy to fall into this trap when you are really good or are the market leader. You start applying the same solution to every problem and just assume that your ability, experience, and strength will carry you through. This is how market leaders lose the lead and how small companies never even get going.

A big symptom of this is when people start applying the same solution to every single problem. That solution worked before, so why not again, right? Maybe, but each situation is different. Sometimes your “standard” solution will just make things worse. A little thought and analysis go a long way.

Lesson: Playing to your strengths is smart, but don’t get so caught up in what you are good at that you start making stupid assumptions.

Batman

You have to admire Batman. He has no powers at all; he’s just a well trained, physically fit, smart dude and he’s able to hold is own along side and against some of the Earth’s most powerful beings.

Face it: in the real world Batman and Superman would never team up. Batman would be pretty useless against Superman’s enemies (and Superman would be a bit of overkill dealing with Batman’s, no?) It would be like Wrestlemania III in 1986, when they had the “mixed tag-team” match featuring Hillbilly Jim and two midget wrestlers vs. King Kong Bundy and two other midget wrestlers. Cute idea, and sure, who doesn’t want to see Bundy give the big kibosh to Little Beaver, but really, at the end of the day, it’s just ridiculous.

Batman relies on his skill and intelligence (And somehow his intimidation. How Batman intimidates heroes who are immensely more powerful than him, I have no idea, but he does). Because of his smarts, Batman is often the most useful Superfriend.

So what’s Batman’s problem? Well, he’s kind of a jerk. He may be one of my favorite superheroes, but he’s also the hero I (and anyone who has a modicum of sense) would want to have dinner with. Dinner with Batman? That would suck! He would spend most of the time pointing out to you how stupid everything you are doing is, how bad the food is, and how stupid you are. That’s just for starters. If he did open up, it would be a deluge of repressed childhood memories of his parents being shot in front of him. And you know there is no way that guy is laughing at any of your jokes.

Batman has no personality and no social skills. He’s basically a Terminator only without the metal endoskeleton and Austrian accent.

He’s successful at what he does, but he doesn’t have much of a life. His smug sense of superiority also leads him to drop in and out of the hero group at his whim, which doesn’t do much for teamwork or morale.

Listen, you don’t have to be a jerk and alienate people to be successful. Life is too short. Do what you do the best you can, but remember, at the end of the day it’s our relationships that make life worth living.

Lesson: Don’t be a jerk. Life is too short.

Aquaman

Ah Aquaman. I have already written a whole post dedicated to Aquaman. If you’re unfamiliar, Aquaman is “king of the seas” (or “prince of the oceans,” or “lord of the lakes” or something like that). He can breathe underwater, has super strength, and can talk to fish. Of course it made perfect sense for him to join a group that spends 95% of its time on dry land…

And therein lies Aquaman’s problem. He rules underwater! No one can mess with him down there. But rather than maximizing his skills and talents, he joins a group where he becomes pretty useless. Unless they happen to be fighting near a lake. Or pool. I guess he would be awesome for breaking up disturbances at the local YMCA.

This is a problem many of us fall into. Rather than seeking out the best ways to leverage our abilities and make the most of our passion, we go for what’s closest, easiest, or most convenient. That’s nice in the short term, but in the long term you are really selling yourself short.

Lesson: Environment matters. Are you somewhere where you can make the most of your passions, interests, and talents?

Wonder Woman

Wonder Woman’s kind of a bad ass, but she’s also in this weird limbo place. She’s basically a female “Superman lite.” She doesn’t bring much to the table that Superman doesn’t. Except for her lasso and bracelets, which aren’t all that useful anyway.

But it never hurts to have two super powerful near invulnerable people on you team, so Wonder Woman’s ok. The interesting thing about Wonder Woman is that it seems every story that centers around her somehow involves something from her past. Some other Amazon from Paradise Island (or Themyscira, or wherever the heck she’s from) has a grudge, or some God she pissed off years ago wants revenge, or some family member is jealous, etc. Frankly, I don’t know how she has the time to deal with new issues…

Of course we all face this from time to time. By avoiding or not dealing with problems as they occur, we leave ourselves open to have them come back and bite us later on. This could be a physical ailment we don’t deal with, a relationship that is going south that we ignore, or a financial reality we just don’t want to face.

It is very tough to deal with the present and future when plagued by problems from the past. If you can just let them go and move on without doing anything, great. But often times you’ll need to be a little more proactive or those issues will just linger and grow. It’s worth doing though, because that then clears the path ahead of you.

Lesson: It’s hard to move forward until you’ve taken care of the past. Tie up your loose ends and move on.

Robin

Robin gets a bad rap. Most people, once they get past the age of seven, find that Robin is really only good for one thing: making insinuations about Batman’s romantic preferences.

But think about it, Robin is just “Batman lite.” He’s a less good version of Batman in every way. He’s not as strong, not as smart, not as good a fighter, and certainly not as intimidating (would you be intimidated by a 16 year old kid in green underwear, elf boots, bright red tunic and yellow cape? I think not. The Hamburgler is a more intimidating masked character).

And yet with all those limitations Robin is able to hang with the most powerful people on the planet. Robin and Superman fighting side by side??? No way. But it happened…

“How did it happen,” you ask. Simple. Robin is the latter part of “Batman and…” The only reason Robin got into the Superfriends is because of his association with Batman. If he showed up at the Hall of Justice on his own one day, resplendent in his peacockesque outfit, and asked for a job application, you think he would have been accepted? No way! Even Aquaman would have laughed at him.

This just goes to show you, it’s not what you know, it’s who you know. Robin knew the right guy, and he made superhero history.

The real world is not that different. You obviously want to get very good at what you do, but both your improvement and your ultimate success can be greatly accelerated by building the right relationships.

Those relationships take time, so start building them now. You never know who may be your ticket into the Justice League…

Lesson: Never underestimate the power of a partner or mentor.

The next time you find yourself watching an episode of the Superfriends, think about these lessons. Of course, you may very well never find yourself watching an episode of the Superfriends, in which case I invite you to think about these lessons anyway; if they’re good enough for Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman, shouldn’t they be good enough for you?

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

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I was driving back into Philadelphia from New Jersey, and I noticed the car in front of me seemed to be having a slightly hard time staying in its lane. You’ve seen this before – the car that keeps drifting into the next lane and then jerks back, only to repeat the process twenty seconds later.

Watching this, I has the same thought I always do in these situations: “Hmm, is this person drunk or just stupid?” Well, since it was a Sunday afternoon and there is such a large number of stupid drivers on the road, I assumed the latter. But I kept a safe distance anyhow.

As we approached a toll, we both slowed down and my car pulled closer. I was able to see into the driver’s side view mirror and get a look at the driver. It took me me about two seconds to realize what was going on. From the side mirror, I could see it was a girl who’s head seemed to be switching between looking straight ahead and looking down and to the right with great frequency. Guess what a person who’s head keeps looking down and to the right while driving is doing…that’s right TEXTING. *sigh*

Oh my God! Did you hear? Brandi just caused a three car pile-up! Oh my God!

I am constantly amazed by this. What could possibly be so critical that you have to send a text, right now as you are driving? And if the text is so important, why can’t you pull over to send it? I have racked my brain trying to think of a scenario, and I have at best come up with one:

You are a secret agent, a la Jack Bauer from 24. You are in your car, and you have just figured out the code numbers that will deactivate the bomb you have been hunting for all day and you need to get those numbers to Chloe at CTU. However, you are being chased by bad guys so you have to keep moving. You are about to call in the numbers in when suddenly a terrorist pops up from behind you! He has been hiding in your car and now has applied a choke hold on you! So, in this situation, a) you can not pull over because the terrorists are chasing you, b) the call must be made immediately, and c) you can not simply use your hands free and call it in because you are being choked.

Jack Bauer, on the phone. You know what he’s not doing? Texting. Or driving. Jack knows, "safety first"

I am working on the assumption that most adults and (God willing) most teens know that texting while driving is a bad idea. We’ve all heard the studies now that show that texting while driving impairs your ability more than drinking (The difference is that alcohol impairs judgement, so you can at least understand why someone who has been drinking makes the stupid choice to drive. Not so with the texters). Take any random group of people and ask them whether they should text while driving and most will say “no.”

So why do people do it? I am guessing it’s because in the moment, while you are driving and your phone vibrates to let you know you have a text message, you are faced with four challenges. These challenges not only tempt you to respond to a text when you know you shouldn’t, but can also be a factor when it comes to dealing with other areas of your life:

Overestimating Importance

If it’s that important, pull over...

At the very least, wait until your car is stopped at a red light, traffic jam, or something similar.

In the same way, you can get stuck giving trivial things in your life too much importance. Sometimes the thing that’s right in front of our face seems like it requires immediate attention, but in the grand scheme of things it’s really not important and will ultimately only serve to knock us off course. When these kinds of things pop up, remind yourself to take a breath, relax, and re-focus on what’s important.

Question: How often do you fall into the trap of overestimating importance?

Overestimating Ability

If you need two hands to text, then you really shouldn’t try to multi-task...

Another problem is that people just simply overestimate their ability to do things. “Oh, I can send this quick text message while keeping focus on the road.”

Riiiiiiiight. Good luck with that.

Keep in mind, this is never a rational decision made away from the car, outside of the scenario. No, this decision always happens right in the moment, while you are driving. It’s when we forget about how dangerous the activity can be and assume that we are one of those blessed outliers who can do it all.

Same thing applies outside of driving. People often overestimate what they can do, how much time they have, and how little help they need. As a result they end up spreading themselves too thin and burn out.

Question: Do you ever make the mistake of overestimating your own ability to “do it all”?

Lack of Emotional Control

Emotional control is important

Ahhh, sweet relief! You can now get back to the task at hand: driving. That is, until thirty seconds later when your friend texts you a reply…

The ability to control those immediate urges, to put long term benefits ahead of short term gains, is critical to our overall success. Beyond the driving situation, how often do we all sidetrack ourselves by succumbing to those immediate urges? How often do we get off track because we are too impatient to wait or to persevere when things get tough?

Consider receiving a text while you are driving as a simple opportunity for you to practice your patience and emotional control…

Question: How is your current level of emotional control?

The Ding! Factor

Ding!

When you do something like text and drive at the same time, you are severely reducing your ability to deal with the unexpected Dings that come along while you are driving. Sure, if the roads are clear and nothing happens, you could probably drop your head for a couple of seconds and be fine. But if in that two seconds the person in front of you brakes hard, or the person to your right tries to cut into your lane right in front of you, or if any one of hundreds of other things happen, you could very well be screwed.

It’s so easy to make decisions based on how we think we can do if everything goes great, or at least stays as is (housing crisis, anyone…?) But remember: Ding! Happens. Make sure your decisions will be sound even if everything doesn’t go perfectly well.

Question: Are you ready for the big Ding! to come along?

The next time you are driving along and you feel tempted to send a text, please remember these few lessons. Not only can they keep you safe on the road, but they can also help you be more successful in your non-driving life too!

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

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Flambe! (Ok, my flambe looked nothing like this. Or maybe it did, in my own head)

A week or so ago I posted a story about how I almost burned my apartment down by igniting a grease fire. Soon after that I found myself cooking again, and I was using a recipe that required “flambéing”

flambé: (Cooking) dipped in or covered with a flammable liqueur and set afire when served;

That’s right: I was going to intentionally set a fire in my kitchen! Whoo-hoo!

Then I thought, “Hey, this would be cool to record and post because, a) flambé is fun to watch and b) I wanted to show everyone that I could in fact work my way around a kitchen.”

Things did not go quite as planned. Here are the results:

(Pardon my singluar use of profanity at the very end of this video…)

That is a FLAMBÉ FAIL!

In my defense, I have made this recipe twice before. The first time it went like rather like this. The second time resulted in a giant fire plume that took me off guard. Both times the food ended up tasting quite good.

I posted this video now for two reasons:

1. I am always willing to participate in a little self mockery
2. There are a few useful things you can take away from my flambé example

What are those “useful things”? Glad you asked. Here they are:

Following Instructions is Important

Before you start commenting or emailing about what I did wrong, let me tell you, I know. One of the things I did wrong was that I misread the recipe. I thought it said to remove the steak from the pan, add the liquor, add the steak back in, then set it on fire. What the recipe actually said was remove the pan from the heat, add the liquor, return the steak to the heat, then set on fire.

This little difference results in the liquor hitting nothing but hot pan, and therefore evaporating before I had a chance to light the match.

Just goes to show, completely understanding and following instructions is critical.

Recipes are Just Guides

On the other hand, recipes are not “written in stone.” As I watched my liquor evaporate and my flambé dreams go up in steam, I remembered how I made it work so well the second time. The key was that the pan was too hot. The recipe says to get the pan blazingly hot. When I do that, the liquor instantly evaporates. When I turned the heat down to medium high, the liquor didn’t immediately evaporate and I was able to get a beautiful flambé.

A recipe is written by one person to be read and followed by hundreds, thousands, or even millions of other people. That one person has their own tastes, equipment, advantages, and limitations. They do their best to come up with a general plan that will work for everyone, but at the end of the day every single person is different.

All systems, be they recipes, diet or exercise plans, business success systems, etc. or just guides. If you follow them step by step exactly, you may get some good results. But the real power comes when you start to understand the underlying principles and can make adjustments to those steps as needed.

Make Failure Fun

I gotta tell you, when I set up my camera to record, I had big visions of this awesome flambé caught on video that would make me look like a stud. When it didn’t happen, my initial thought was to delete the video and never tell anyone.

Then I thought, “why not?” It’s funny, for me and others. And do I really care if people make fun of me about it? It’s not like I am trying to build a career as a “flambé expert,” and this video would crush my credibility.

I find that the more willing people are to admit and put their failures out there, the less likely they are to be embarrassed by failures that do happen. This makes them more willing to take risks and try new things, and as a result succeed more. Plus, people generally feel connected to you when they watch you fail with good nature.

Don’t be afraid of your screw ups; laugh at them and the world will laugh with you.

Try, Try Again

This flambé thing has been hit or miss for me. Am I going to try it again? You betcha! There is no reason to throw in the towel after one or two bad experiences. Learn from them and try again. ‘Cause let me tell you, when it works, not only does it look awesome but it tastes delicious.!

Preparation

In case you were wondering, yes, I had my fire extinguisher on the counter right there, in case things went horribly wrong. Trying new stuff is great and being able to improvise is one of life’s greatest skills, but a little preparation goes a long way. Remember, only you can help prevent kitchen fires.

There you gave it. Five simple things you can learn from my “flambé fail.” Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go order myself some food…

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

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One memory I have of such an occasion is from my old college intramural basketball playing days. I would like to share this story with you because a) it’s the closest I am going to come to a good, “Glory Days” sports story and b) there are some very useful lessons you can take away from it.

In college I played on an intramural basketball team – I know, you look at me, a 5′8″ stocky Indian guy and instantly think, “basketball star!” But it’s true, I played a lot of basketball and loved it.

(Side note: Our team name was “Pimpin’ Ain’t Easy,” which shows you a) what a warped sense of humor we all had and b) how ridiculous college students can be, even – or maybe especially – us hoity toity Ivy League folk…)

During my senior year we had a game against a “friendly rival.” We each knew members of the other team and there was a certain amount of trash talking going on.

Here’s the thing: this other team wasn’t good. At all. And we were good that year – we even made it a few rounds into the playoffs.

Our starting point guard. Ok, so maybe we were not taking it as seriously as we should have

Don’t Take Anything For Granted!

I don’t know what happened, but the game started and we were getting demolished! There was no rhyme or reason to it; it’s not like they had a bunch of ringers or anything. They were just beating the pants off of us. It was as if they could not miss any of their outside shots.

It was getting embarrassing. We were down by almost twenty points in the first half!

Question: Have you ever gone into a situation assuming it would be simple, only to be unfortunately shocked? If so, remember to never take anything for granted and always bring your “A” game – you never know when you’ll need it.

Thankfully, half-time gave us a chance to regroup. We talked it over, and basically said, “this is crazy. We should be killing these guys. Let’s go out and do i

Just try harder. Or I’ll kill you.

Which brings us to lesson #2:

“Trying Harder” With a Losing Strategy Accomplishes Nothing!

Yup, our basic big half-time strategic plan was to “do better.” No changes, just, “play harder, do better.” Well that’s just dumb.

We went out and “tried harder,” and guess what? We kept losing! The other team kept hitting their shots, and we stayed just as ineffectual.

Question: Do you ever react to something not working by simply “trying harder”? You do see the futility in that, right? Next time, instead of trying harder, try to actually rethink your strategy.

Now it’s early in the second half, and we are still down by a lot. Then an interesting thing happened. One of my teammates who was not in the game at this time starts yelling from the sidelines, “They can’t dribble! Press them! They can’t dribble!”

Up to this point we had been playing defense the way we always did: a couple feet away, taking away the drive and being able to contest the shot. This is standard defense because it takes away the ball-handler’s ability to drive to the basketball and create all source of defensive switching problems, and it forces the player to make outside shots. As we saw, in this case they were making all of their outside shots. But as my friend pointed out, since they couldn’t dribble, we didn’t need to worry about them driving past as.

After hearing my buddy’s advice I had that, “‘Bruce Leroy suddenly realizes he is the Master’ ah-ha! moment.” I immediately got right up in the ball-handlers face and sure enough, he turned the ball over. Everyone on my team started applying a lot more pressure, and this led to turnover after turnover.

Who’s the master? I am!

Sometimes You Need An External Observer!

What’s funny is my friend who called this out was not the biggest basketball fan. He enjoyed playing, but didn’t watch countless hours of basketball, analyzing offenses and defenses. And he never played organized ball. The rest of us who were playing at that moment were much bigger, “students of the game,” if you will. And yet none of us who were playing saw this simple strategic flaw. But as soon as he yelled it out, we all realized that it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Sometimes when you are in the thick of things, you miss obvious fixes and solutions. This is one of the reasons we so often try to apply the “try harder” approach. We are too close to the situation to objectively see any alternatives.

Question: Do you have a (or a few) source of external feedback? Someone who can look at you with a more objective eye and point out some of the obvious things you may be missing? Whether it’s a friend, family member, colleague, or paid professional, I would highly recommend you find some people to give you this kind of help – it can cut massive amounts of time off your learning and advancement.

The game continues, and now, armed with our new defensive strategy, we manage to come back and win the game. I wish I had some heroic story of how it game down to a final shot and my team in-bounded me the ball and I did a beautiful crossover dribble – drive – pull up jumper at the buzzer to win the game. But no, nothing like that happened.

I don’t really remember how the game ended. All I remember is that we almost royally screwed up what should have been an easy win. I learned a lot of lessons that day, and I hope that now you have too.

P.S. If you want some awesome basketball music video motivation, watch this Larry Bird video:

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

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Business is Easy

I got this one from speaker Larry Winget. Years ago I heard him say, “Business is easy: be amazingly good and ask lots of people to buy. If you are not successful, you are not doing one of those two things.” That saying has stayed with me, and I still frequently quote it many years later.

With the complexities of the world today, it is easy to look at this statement as oversimplifying. But really, at the end of the day, if you are amazingly good at what you do and ask lots of people to buy, you will be successful.

The hardest part is giving yourself an honest appraisal on whether you actually are asking a lot of people to buy, and whether you really are “amazing” at what you do (more on that to come).

Goals, Strategies, Tactics

This is a phrase I kept coming back to. In any endeavor, whether it’s building a business or simply performing a great improv scene, you must have three things, in order:

1. Goals – What are your overall objectives?
2. Strategies – What are the long term plans to achieve those objectives?
3. Tactics – How will you implement those plans?

In my experience, people will often skip goals, almost always ignore strategies, and jump right to tactics. The problem with that approach is that tactics without goals and strategies are just “busy work.” Sure, you may be doing something , but are you doing the right things?

For some reason people want to jump right into action. Taking a a little time to step back and refocus on goals and strategies ca go a long way towards making sure those actions get you to where you want to go.

Sacrifice Some Fun for Lots of Awesomeness

I was asked what are some of the things I would differently if I started a new improv group knowing what I know now. One thing I said was I would be more of a hard-ass in rehearsals, and would “beat the hell out of people.”

Don’t be scared, I don’t mean that literally. What I mean is that I would have spent more time in every rehearsal drilling fundamentals, driving people to relatively flawless execution.

This kind of work isn’t fun (hence the “beat the hell out of people” line). You’re not playing the fun improv games that everyone loves to do. No, you’re doing repetitive, often tedious exercises to drill home fundamentals until they become so ingrained that it is almost impossible not to do them right.

I would still make rehearsals fun. Start with fun, end with fun, and play fun improv games throughout. But there would be a decent middle chunk where the group focused heavily on mastering fundamentals.

By sacrificing a little fun, the group would get much better, much faster. Plus, the hobbyists would be weeded out from the serious performers.

This willingness to drill and focus on the fundamentals, even when not fun, is what separates the successful from the average. The basketball player who is willing to stay late after practice and shoot countless free throws. The musician who spends time every day practicing scales. The martial artist who practices the most basic forms and techniques years after he has learned them.

What are the fundamentals of your endeavor? Are you willing to sacrifice a little fun to master them?

How Good Are You Really?

Here’s the sad news: chances are, you are not yet good enough. Here’s the good news: chances are your competition is also not good enough. Here’s the great news: most people, including your competition, will never put in the work to get “good enough,” which means you have an opportunity.

How good is “good enough”? Well that depends on your goals (you see why that step is so important?) But if you want to build a successful business, or rise to the top of your field, or stand out from the crowd, then “good enough” needs to be pretty damned good.

Here’s a start: don’t judge how good you are based on your own self-estimation. Don’t judge it on a colleague, friend, or even professional feedback giver (whoever that may be in your field). Don’t judge it on reviews. Don’t judge it on client feedback, whether or not they are a decision maker. Base it on one thing: Are people falling all over themselves recommending you?

So when I ask, “are you good enough?” what I am really asking is, “are people falling all over themselves to recommend you?”

The sad news: that’s a tough point to get to it. The good news: Since it’s tough, very few of your competitors will get there. The great news: As I pointed out in my Wanna Get Good? post, you absolutely can get to that level

***
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Read the story here:

Furious Ryanair passenger eats his $13,600 winning lottery ticket

If there’s an example of unleashing brilliance by observing stupidly, this has to be it. What could possibly be going through this man’s head?

Here is how I imaging the conversation went:

“Hey, I won $13,000+ from this lottery ticket! Excuse me, may I collect my winnings right now?”

“I’m sorry sir, but we don’t pay out in flight. You have to send it in.”

“What?! Are you telling me part of your job description is not paying out lottery winnings? What the hell??”

“No, it’s not. Not to mention the fact that we don’t keep $13,000 in petty cash on hand on flights.”

“Well that is just the stupidest thing I have ever heard of!”

“Really sir? That’s stupider than expecting an airline to pay out a five digit scratch card payout mid-flight”

“Arrrgh!! You make me so angry!”

“Sir, if you don’t calm down i will summon the air marshal.”

“Arrrgh!! That’s it! I’ll show you – I will eat this ticket!”

“Umm, sir, you do realize that if you eat the ticket, you can’t collect, right? I mean, the airline does not accept eaten and digested tickets.”

“Arrrgh!! I don’t care! I am so mad! This will show all of you! Chomp, chomp, chomp – Gaachk!”

“Sir, are you all right?”

“Grghg hahlkj jahjah.”

“Sir, are you choking on the lottery ticket you just ate?”

(Man nods furiously)

“No problem. That will be $2.”

“RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

POP! (Man’s head explodes. Rest of plane claps. Except for man’s seat mate, who causally wipes off man’s exploded head remains to claim winning lottery ticket, then calmly puts it into his pocket to turn in later like a proper, sane person).

We all run into situations that make us angry, but the world would be such a better place, and so many people’s lives would be so much easier and more successful, if they were just able to pause for a second or two, think things through, put them in perspective, and then take simple logical action.

I am assuming you are smart enough to never get so mad that you eat a $13,600 lottery ticket (If I am wrong, please get off my blog. Now.). But try to think back to this stupid Ryanair passenger the next time you find your anger rising and you feel tempted to take rash and potentially stupid action.

You may not save $13,600, but you just might save your dignity.

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

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I love basketball. I also love good funny writing with pop culture references. As such, Bill Simmons Book of Basketball was right up my alley. If you don’t know him, Bill Simmons (the “Sports Guy”) is a writer with a fantastic column on espn.com where he writes on a variety of sports topics. Unlike most other columnists, Simmons uses a lot of humor and many references to pop culture. In fact, he will sometimes do entire columns or interviews that have nothing to do sports (like talking about MTV’s Jersey Shore, or 90210, or professional wrestling, etc.). I love his stuff.

Simmons is a giant basketball fan and a few years ago he decided to write a book about it. The end result is the 736 page tome, “The Book of Basketball.” If you are a fan of basketball and good writing, then you need to check this book out.

A giant section of the book consists of Simmons ranking the best players of all time, in order, and with an in-depth analysis of why each one is on that place in the list. It’s ridiculous, brilliant, and fascinating all at the same time (kind of like how I aspire to be…)

I noticed that one of the criteria he kept coming back to that determined how high a player ranked was whether they wanted the ball in crunch time. (for non-sports fans, “crunch time” is the time at the end of the game when the score is very close and someone needs to make big shots and come up with big plays to win the game.)

For the most part, the highest players were the ones who wanted to have the ball in their hands when the game was on the line. Other players, according to him, looked like they desperately wanted to get the ball into someone else’s hands in those moments.

To quote Gene Hackman from “The Replacements,” (a not great but still underrated sports movie), “Winners want the ball.”

Take it from Gene: "Winners want the ball"

Childress was just in a tremendous zone in this tournament. He averaged 35.7 points and 7 assists per game, won the MVP, and led Wake Forest to the ACC championship (unfortunately he peaked too soon and they did not win the big NCAA tourney).

During one crunch time moment, one of his teammates brought the ball up and did not pass to Childress. Instead, he took a shot and missed. During the next time-out the camera was on the Wake Forest huddle. Childress was exclaiming to his teammates, “give me the ball! Every time! Give me the ball!”

Childress and Duncan celebrate after Childress’s amazing performance in 1995

You may never find yourself in crunch time in a championship sporting event. However, reading Simmons’ book and reflecting on that Randolph Childress moment, I thought of the concept of “Crunch Time Leadership.”

How do you (or would you), as a leader, respond in crunch time? Do you hide away, hoping thins will go away? Do you try to defer and pass the buck on to someone else? Do you get paralyzed trying to please everyone Often impossible) before making a decision? Or do you step up, say, “I am the leader,” and make a strong decision? In tough moments, are you the one saying “I want the ball”?

There are a few important elements understanding Crunch Time Leadership:

Anyone Can Do Well When Things Are Going Well

A lot of people think they are great leaders because they have a good team, things go as planned, and no major catastrophes have occurred (yet). Granted, some of that may come from your excellent planning and foresight as a leader. But at some point, Ding is going to happen. What separates a great leader from a lucky “organizer” is how they step up and handle those problems.

Crunch Time Leadership Can Be Stressful

There’s a lot of pressure involved in taking the big “do or die” shot at the end of the game. In the same way, there’s a lot of pressure on a leader in a crisis. The buck stops with you, and whether it’s having to deal with two bickering parties, letting a bad worker go, or facing a setback that threatens an entire project, there is a lot of stress involved with being the one in charge. Learn to deal with that stress or you will never make it as a successful leader.

Crunch Time is Not All the Time

Leadership is all about balance. In his book, Simmons talks about the importance of a player wanting the ball in big moments. He also talks about how the best players involve their teammates throughout the game. Just as players who don’t want the ball in crunch time dropped in his ratings, players who were too selfish also dropped.

This sounds like a contradiction (wanting the ball but also being unselfish?) but it’s not. It’s all about balance. The best players get and keep their teammates involved throughout the game, but then, in crunch time, they take over when they need to.

Leadership is the same way; you have to find that balance. Keep your team involved throughout, but when those big moments come, step up and take charge.

This is where a lot of people mess up the whole leadership thing. Some are great crunch time leaders because they take charge in big moments, but they are terrible leaders the rest of the time because they still micro-manage and bulldoze over people. Others are great “normal time” leaders because they are nice and inclusive, but in big moments they try to apply the same mind set and never make the big hard decisions.

Recognize the moments and find that balance and you too will be a great leader.

It’s not easy. I’ll be honest: as I have been writing this article I have been thinking back over my own leadership history. Have I been a great crunch time leader? Have I found that balance? Tough questions. I’d like to say I have tried. I can definitely say that now, having articulated the thoughts to myself, I know I will be much better about it in the future.

I hope you will too. Remember, keep your team involved, but in those big moments, when people need and are looking for leadership, you should be that person saying (not out loud, just to yourself), “give me the ball! Every time! Give me the ball!”

P.S. Here’s a treat – watch this sick crossover move Childress puts on someone in that 1995 tournament:

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

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The clip starts with a demonstration of the improv comedy game, “Ding!” Then I explain how life is the ultimate improvisation and just when you think you have it figured out, the universe comes along and goes “ding!” deal with this. Goal setting and planning are great, but usually our success in business and life come down to how well we deal with the unexpected “dings!” that come our way.

Thought you might enjoy

a) the demo of me in action speaking
b) the lessons about how and why improv comedy skills can help you be more successful.

If so, please forward on to a few friends who would enjoy it too!

Click here to see more videos
Click here to see Avish’s conference speaker page

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

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(Disclaimer: do not take anything I did or even say to do as absolute advice on what to do in case of a kitchen fire. Go ask someone who didn’t almost burn their apartment down…)

One evening, I was hanging at my apartment with my buddy Mike, and we decided to cook dinner. Being men, we opted to make manly steak. Being friends, we decided to collaborate on the cooking process. The challenge with this was that we had two different styles of cooking steak…

My method was to get a cast iron skillet really hot, spread some canola oil onto the steak, and then drop the steak into the pan.

Mike’s method was to heat a regular pan to medium high heat, melt some butter, then cook the steak in that.

If you know anything about cooking, chemistry, physics, or common sense, you can see the problem in combining these two methods. At the time, clearly neither Mike nor I know anything about any of those things…

You see, we opted for my “get a cast iron skillet really hot” method. And let me tell you, a cast iron skillet over high heat can get very hot indeed. We then decided to go with Mike’s “let’s use butter instead of canola oil, ’cause hey, butter tastes better, right?”

For those of you unfamiliar with the culinary arts, allow me to introduce the term “smoke point” to you. This is the temperature at which a fat (butter or oil, in this case) begins to smoke. Butter has a very low smoke point (350 degrees F). Canola oil has a very high smoke point (470 degrees F). If you’re wondering, no, you do not want your fat to reach its smoke point.

The reason you use Canola oil in a blazingly hot skillet is that it can handle the heat. As we were about to discover, a cast iron skillet over high heat gets well above butter’s smoke point.

We toss the butter into the skillet and instantaneously, “WHOOSH!” smoke starts billowing out of the pan.

Lesson #1: If you’re going to improvise, you need to understand the fundamentals of what you are doing. Randomly combining steps without knowing the fundamentals is a sure path to disaster. Bitter, smokey, ugly disaster.

Mike and I look at the smokey skillet, and then at each other. “Um…this isn’t good.”

There we are, staring at smoke pouring from the pan, when suddenly, the smoke turns to fire. Now the butter in my cast iron skillet is on fire.

Lesson #2: Standing around frozen in inaction is generally not a good way to deal with the unexpected

Now here is where the stupidity gets real interesting. Before I explain what happened next, let me give you a little back story…

You see, while I was just a wee young lad, someone said, “never throw water on a grease fire.” I understood the words, but they didn’t make sense to me. Fire was fire, and water puts out fires, right? So I asked an “adult,” and the adult’s answer was something along the lines of, “well, since water and grease don’t mix, the water just pushes the grease and fire around instead of putting it out.” Ok, I suppose that made sense.

(Note: at no point in that conversation was the term “geyser of fire” used. It should have. As you’ll soon see…)

In retrospect, this turned out to be one of the many situations where an adult, for whatever reason, pulled half an answer out of their ass, when they should have really said, “I’m not sure, but you never should, because it would be really, really bad.”

So here I am with a grease fire in my kitchen, and the only reason I thought not to use water was because the water would “just push around the grease.”

“But I have a skillet, a contained area! If I just put in a bit of water slowly, that will mitigate the ‘pushing around’ problem and put out the fire, right?”

Lesson #3: Consider some of the things you have leaned and believe, and then consider the source. Is it time to revisit some of those truths?

So in my ignorance, I

a) pick up the flaming pan
b) move the flaming pan to the sink
c) wait for it….
d) wait for it…
e) turn on the water!

WHOOSH!

My goodness! I suddenly found myself on the set of the Towering Inferno, right there in my kitchen. A “geyser of fire” erupted from the pan towards the ceiling.

This time, I would like to credit my 20 some odd years of martial arts training for the fact that immediately as the “geyser of fire” started erupting, I a) did not drop the pan screaming and b) immediately crouched down and got the pan as low as possible so that the top of the geyser did not hit my ceiling. (yes, in retrospect I know that moving the pan at all may have led to grease spillage, which would have been bad. At the time though, things worked out…)

It is true that water and oil don’t mix, and the water will spread the fire. But not just by pushing it around. There’s a lot more to it. It involves rapid evaporation, steam, grease molecules, and a few other things. I don’t want to misinform you, so look it up on Google yourself.

Lesson #4: The more you know, the better you improvise.

Now I am crouching on my floor with a “geyser of fire” coming out of my skillet. Interestingly, the “geyser of fire” had spread to the oven mitt I was using to hold the skillet, so that was on fire too. Not a big blazing fire, just a little flame on the thumb of the oven mitt. You know, to keep things interesting.

The logical thing to do at this point would be to pull out my fire extinguisher and use it on the fire. That would be the logical thing, except for one small problem:

At this point, I didn’t own a fire extinguisher

Lesson #5: The better you prepare, the better you improvise.

Fortunately, the “geyser of fire” had fallen to a small flame before the fire on my oven mitt ate it’s way through to my thumb. I was able to put the skillet back on the (now turned off) stove, extinguish the oven mitt fire, take off the mitt, and then monitor the small skillet fire until it went out. Which it eventually did.

(If you’re wondering: yes, the next day I did go out and buy a fire extinguisher. I also learned that in a pinch, my big box of kosher salt is good for putting out small grease fires too.)

In retrospect, this is a very funny story because it all worked out, no one got hurt, and my apartment (and the 11 other units in the building) did not burn down to the ground. It could just as easily have turned into a major tragedy. Fortunately, there was only a small amount of butter to start with (as opposed to being a major grease fire with a whole pot of oil, for example)

The overall takeaway lesson here is simple: If you want to be successful and if you want to be able to flow with the unexpected Dings of Life, a little preparation and a little knowledge go a long, long way…

***
Are you planning an event and looking for a great speaker to add humor and energy? Then visit Avish’s Conference Speaker page now!
 

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On the show, a kid (usually someone between 16 and 20) decides that he or she wants to do something completely different and new, and they want to do it fast. The title comes from the fact that the kid wants to be “made” into something. Over the show’s history, people have been made into basketball players, cheerleaders, rap artists, beauty queens, ladies men, dancers, actors, opera singers, skate boarders, bikers, gymnasts, robotics team members, and many, many more.

The unifying factor is that the kids haven’t done anything like the new activity before. MTV sets them up with a coach, and they usually build up to an event (tryout, pageant, competition, performance, etc) 6-12 weeks out.

I enjoy this show because let’s face it: it’s kind of a personal development person’s dream. You get to watch people make dramatic transformations in short periods of time, and you get to see their ups and downs along the way. Usually, it’s quite inspiring.

I know that reality TV has a bad rap (justifiably) and there’s no way we’re seeing the whole story. Still, I think there is a whole lot we can learn from what we observe in MTV’s Made:

The First Thing That Goes is the Comfort Zone

“Made” is an entertaining show, if for no other reason than it’s fun to watch teens throw tantrums and resist change, even when they asked for those changes!

One of the first things to go is the comfort zone. The kids are asked to dress different, do different activities, meet different people, etc. And it’s very entertaining to watch them rail against these new activities.

Einstein famously said, “problems can not be solved by the same level of thinking that created them.” Same thing here: You can not keep doing the same things and expect to get massively different results.

If you are happy with where you are at, great! If not, you have to get out of your comfort zone. Makes sense, right? If doing things the way you have been doing them got you to where you are, then to get somewhere else you have to do something different. Too often though, people want to get different results without really changing anything or getting out of their comfort zone. We all do it, but that doesn’t make it any less stupid…

Question: What are you holding yourself back from achieving because you are unwilling to step out of your comfort zone?

Accountability

Talk about a golden opportunity! These people on this show get their very own “Made Coach.” This is a professional who works with the kid for the entire process, teaching them, mentoring them, and giving them assignments to help them get better.

Most importantly though, the Coach holds the kid accountable.

If the participant misses an appointment, skips a workout, doesn’t do an assignment, or just overall doesn’t seem to be trying, the Coach will be right there to get on his or her case. It’s not fun, it’s not pretty, but it works.

Based on the frequency with which the kids resist change and skip out on stuff, if they didn’t have the external accountability of a coach, they would never get anywhere.

In our own lives, we can often use the same. Sure, we’d like to think that we are mature, intelligent adults who can motivate ourselves, but you know as well as I that left to our own devices, especially when starting something new, it’s a lot easier to let ourselves down than someone else.

Our ultimate goal should be to be as accountable to ourselves as to someone else. Until that far off day arrives, consider getting someone to be your accountability coach. Whether it’s a paid professional who teaches and mentors, or just a friend who you commit to, having an external person to answer to can be a huge help.

Question: How is your accountability? Do you need to hire/ask/find someone else to be accountable to?

Sacrifice

A common theme on most episodes is the idea of “sacrifice.” In order to make time to become who and what they want to be, the kids often have to let go of people they currently hang with and and things they currently do.

Athletes have to be less involved with their teams, active kids have to drop some after school clubs, and everyone has to spend less time with their friends. Not permanently, but certainly for the period of time that they are working on their goal…

This is always a point of contention. The friends don’t understand. The clubs and teams don’t understand. The parents don’t always understand. And the kid never wants to make those sacrifices.

In the end (usually after a breakdown – see next point), the kid sucks it up and makes the sacrifices, the friends all reconcile, and everyone ends up happy.

The point is, achieving your goals and moving to the next level of success takes some sacrifice. The bigger the goal and the shorter the time frame, the bigger the sacrifice.

Question: What are you willing to sacrifice in order to achieve your goal?

The Breakdown and Massive (Re)Commitment

At some point in most episodes, 50-75% of the way through, the person will have a giant meltdown. They will quit, want to quit, or just have a big blowup argument with their coach.

Invariably, a day or two later, they will apologize to their coach and recommit, and from that point on everything seems to be smooth sailing. (I don’t know if that’s creative editing, or if they simply never show episodes where the person quits and stays quit. But on the episodes I have seen, every single time things get great after the meltdown).

It’s almost as if the person needs to hit rock bottom before they can turn themselves around and get on track.

The regularity with which this happens reinforces the idea that what gets in most people’s way is mentality. They are held back by their unwillingness to change. They need to get pushed so far that eventually they snap, break out of old habits, and embrace the new direction.

Think of a rubber band; every time you stretch it, it snaps back to it’s original shape. Stretch it far enough though, and it snaps.

Question: Have you really committed to what you want to achieve, or are you continuously “snapping back” to old habits?

Try applying these four lessons when you find yourself pursuing a goal. You don’t even have to ever tell anyone you got the ideas from an MTV show…

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