Audientication

“Alice in Wonderland” – Film Review

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 12:19:00 +0000

I was flabbergasted by the incredible animation, and I didn’t even watch it on 3D…yet.

First things first, I’ve heard a many things about this Alice adaptation, some say sequel, Tim Burton himself says not, however, since this Alice would be a tad maddening (which apparently isn’t always a bad thing) if you had no inkling whatsoever about the previous Alice story, thus, I will call this Alice an extension. A spin off by a different author, who weaved a classic tale into a different style and culture.

Helena Bonham Carter is an absolute scene stealer, but then again, when isn’t she? She is the heart of the film, pun quite intended. Crispin Glover, creepily affective as always. Jonny Depp delivers, yet again, a performance unlike any other. Anne Hathaway was ever so graceful as the White Queen, and kind of psychotic as well. And as for the lovely Mia Wasikowska, she’s wonderful, pun intended yet again. Although she could have used a little more curiosity, like the Disney Alice. And we can’t forget Matt Lucas as Twiddledum and Twiddledee, I love my fat boys.

The animations were gorgeous. Dark and nightmarishly detailed, everything was: Just. Gorgeous.

I loved the story. It’s not perfect, and some parts I definitely could have done without, the eye thing with the large (feline?) monster was cliched and eye-roll worthy, but I loved it overall nonetheless. I found it fascinating that Alice was more in tune with her muchness once she accepted her delusions. It’s intriguing how impervious some people think they are when they think something is wrong with them.

This is not a film made with rainbows, spice, and everything nice. It’s dreary and disturbing, but with good reason. It’s a phantasmagoric epic that is unlike any other.

All it comes down to is this:

Tim Burton’s films – you either love them or hate them.

I happen to love them. Especially this one.

Alice: Lost my muchness have I?

The December Trail

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Fri, 18 Dec 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Okay, so I haven't been very good with the whole "I'm back!" thing, but here are some awesome new trailers to make up for it.

Alice In Wonderland
Oh Disney, how you make my heart swell.
Director : Tim Burton
Cast: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Anne Hathaway
Release: March 5, 2010

The Runaways
Well, well, well. Look who grew up... way too fast.
Director: Floria Sigismondi
Cast: Kristen Stewart, Dakota Fanning, Scout Taylor-Compton
Release: TBA 2010

The Sorcerer's Apprentice
Why oh why can't urban fairy tales like this happen to me in real life?
Director: Jon Turteltaub
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Jay Baruchel, Alfred Molina
Release: July 16, 2010

Iron Man 2
It's crazy how much I love the Iron Man soundtracks.
Director: Jon Favreau
Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle
Release: May 7, 2010

***

And remember folks, don't judge a movie by its trailer!

Goodbye To Another Joss Whedon Show

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 10:34:00 +0000

The moral compass points wrong, it's hard to figure out who to root for, and your emotions are twisted inside and out before the end of each show. Those could be some of the reasons why people don't watch the show. Some people have also said that the plot holes are too blatant and sloppy to ignore.

It's sloppy, I agree. I have to, because even I'm not that much of a blind fanatic.

But these are the reasons why I loved the show. Not the sloppy part, but the hard-to-figure-moral-compass-inside-and-out-emotions part. Dollhouse was compelling because it didn't spoon feed me bullshit about how this is wrong, this is right, and this is what you must learn. It challenged me, provoked me, pissed me off, broke my heart, made me fall in love with each character despite how much I hated their ignoble guts at the same time.

It played with my insides.

And lo and behold, FOX just had to cancel it just when we were getting to the thick of it.

Fortunately, even they aren't stupid enough to cut us off high and dry, the rest of the second season will finish off during December. That's something at least, never enough of course, but something. I keep hoping that people will come to their senses, start watching, and eventually the show will be miraculously renewed for a third season. That would be a hell of a Christmas gift, to all Dollhouse fans.

Here's to hoping.

The November Trail

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 05:58:00 +0000

I'm back! Sort of. Real life still needs my attention from time to time. I know right? SO annoying. Anyway, to celebrate the end to my movie reviewing celibacy, here are some of the latest movie trailers about the latest movies.

Salt
At first I thought this was a Jolie film similar to the Changeling, lady gets stupendously wronged by the government, heartbreakingly tortuous, lots of crying, etc. However, it’s so obviously not. It’s actually more like Wanted, only better cause it doesn’t blatantly spit on the face of the laws of physics. Or at least not too much, seriously, who can leap from that high and not fracture every major bone in their extremities?
Cast: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Director: Phillip Noyce
Release: July 23, 2010

Prince of Persia: Sands of Time
When I heard Jake Gyllenhaal was going to play the beloved Prince of Persia, I was very, very doubtful. But after seeing this trailer, well…he can carry the accent, and he still looks pretty with long hair, so not all is lost. After all, the hair is important. I loved the game, and I loved the story, fortunately it’s not a severely complicated story, so they can’t butcher this like most game-to-movie franchises. Right? I’ll admit though, I’m excited about this one.
Cast: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Alfred Molina
Director: Mike Newell

Release: May 28, 2010

Kick-Ass
When I was younger, this was exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up. With a better costume of course.
Cast: Nicolas Cage, Aaron Johnson, Lyndsy Fonseca
Director: Matthew Vaughn
Release: April 16, 2010

The Lovely Bones
This seems like a kaleidoscope of symbolism, I can’t wait to sink my teeth into it. This exquisite film stars Saoirse Ronan, that strikingly blue-eyed girl that ruined everything in the romantic tragedy Atonement.
Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Rachel Weisz, Susan Sarandon
Director: Peter Jackson
Release: December 11, 2009

***
Remember folks, don't judge a movie by its trailer!

Do You Wanna Date Her Avatar?

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 11:53:00 +0000

It's the internet princess herself, Felicia Day, in a ridiculously brilliant music video to promote the 3rd season of her hit web series "The Guild." Felicia Day (from Buffy, Dr. Horrible, Dollhouse... Bring It On Again) isn't a mainstream name, but if you claim to be a member of the worldwide geekdom, then there's no excusable reason why you haven't heard of her by now. However, if you've been busy with work/school, family, exercise, and other activities of daily living (i.e. boring stuff), then now is the time to acquaint yourself with the online wonder of one Ms. Felicia Day.

The Guild is a nerdgasmic type of funny. It's not meant for people who have no idea what MMORPG stands for, nor people who think that potions are those things that make people fall in love. Don't let the audacious geekiness scare you though, if you don't mind a little confusion, then let yourself madly LOL and watch The Guild!

Here's the first episode:

The July Trail

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 06:31:00 +0000

I've got fewer movie trailers for you guys than usual, but that's okay, because they're all unique and interesting. A different flavor of popcorn fodder. A little hint of their theme though, it's called girl power.

Whip It!
Directed by Drew Barrymore. That phrase alone is enough to capture my interest, but when you add roller derby to the mix, I just can't stay away. We don't even have to mention the awesome female cast of Ellen Page, Kristen Wiig, Juliette Lewis, Marcia Gay Harden, and Eve, but we will because it's too mind freakishly awesome not to mention. Hello Babe Ruthless.
Release: October 9, 2009

Jennifer's Body
I never really liked Megan Fox before, but after seeing some of her interviews, I think I'm beginning to get her sarcastic and inappropriate humor. Of course, I can't say that it's a good thing for my well being, but at least I can watch her now without any violent reactions. And this movie just makes me tolerate her more. I mean you've gotta give Megan Fox a little props for being in a quirky, disturbingly witty, horror film written by Diablo Cody.
Release: September 18, 2009

Alice In Wonderland
A kaleidoscope of fantastical, epic proportions. It's Alice in a Tim Burton-ized world. And did you see Helena Bonham Carter's head? This is sooo watch worthy.
Release: March 5, 2010

*****

And remember folks, don't judge a movie by its trailer!

Dollhouse: Epitaph Epicness

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 08:39:00 +0000

Okay, first of all, I just want to say that those Fox execs are complete doucheheads. Why in the world would they keep the best episode of the season from airing? Epitaph One was pretty ubersupercalifuckingfragilisticexpialidociously amazing. It’s the best TV episode not ever shown on TV. After watching Epitaph One’s dystopian mind freak, I got a huge headache just contemplating a future like that. It was epic.

While I was watching the episode, I was praying to Joss and co to not break my heart. But he did anyway, cause he’s a genius like that.

(Slight Spoilers)

The best part about Epitaph One was how all the actors brought their A game. I fell in geeky love with Fran Kranz as Topher Brink. I detested his annoying character when he had smugness overload, but seeing him driven to despair and insanity made me want to hug him and pat his head. Olivia Williams as Adelle DeWitt was also outstanding. Someone finally gave Ms. Do-it a gun, and she became even more badass, which I thought was already impossible. And Amy Acker, as Dr. Claire Saunders/Whiskey, was simply ethereal. Even the guest stars gripped your heart until it bled. Felicia Day was a win. I also sighed in fan girly relief every time Eliza Dushku walked on screen. Sometimes I even sighed in relief when she wasn’t on screen, because somehow Caroline was. Speaking of, the 10 year old girl whose name I do not know, was awesome.

(End of Slight Spoilers)

(Herry J. Lennix, Fran Kranz, and Eliza Dushku)

Seriously, people have to watch Dollhouse. If only to help them get their heads out of their asses and make them actually think about the essence of humanity, what an identity consists of, what it means to lose that, what it means to SELL that, and what it means to have to tattoo your own freakin name on your body to make sure that you still know who you are.

I can’t wait for Dollhouse's season 2.

When Buffy Meets Edward Cullen

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 05:21:00 +0000

Ever wonder what would happen if the world of Sunnydale and Twilight collided? I did, a little, then I figured, along with most Buffy fans that something like this would happen:

HI. LA. RIOUS.

There's a lesson to be had in this little spiel. If ever a vampire (no matter how good looking they are) starts to stalk you, just ask yourself: "What would Buffy do?"

The June Trail

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 11:59:00 +0000

It's been a while since we had a movie trailers post, so I've come to remedy our trailer cravings.

Whiteout
Reminds me of 30 Days of Night, but even with Underworld's Kate Beckinsale, I don't think this film has any well-dressed vampires. I'm pretty fond of mystery thrillers, adding the ice cold spice to the mix makes it even more interesting.
Release: Sept. 11, 2009

Sherlock Holmes
I'm almost absolutely sure that this will be awesome. Can't wait to be right.
Release: Nov. 20, 2009

The Time Traveler's Wife
Seems like a modern day Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I liked CCOBB, maybe I'll like this one too? So far, I'm charmed by the trailer already.
Release: Aug. 14, 2009

Inglorious Bastards
I'm kind of surprised that the title wasn't censored in any way, I mean, they made a whole lot of hullabaloo over the title Zack and Miri Make A Porno. Maybe it's because Brad Pitt is in it? Anyway, Brad's character in this reminds of his Tyler Durden in Fight Club. And trust me, that's a good thing.

****

And remember folks, don't judge a movie by its trailer!

Say Hey To T-Swizzle!

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 07:28:00 +0000

Justin Timberlake brought on his Single Ladies moves on SNL, then Joe Jonas stepped up and donned his own leotard to give us another version of Beyonce's famous song.

Now, Taylor Swift is following Natalie Portman's footsteps, and is giving us a glimpse of A Thug Story.

Watch "T-Swizzle" break it down with T-Pain.

And here is Natalie Portman's infamous rap on SNL.

So? Who do you think is the better gangsta?

Bruno's Intimate Moment With Eminem

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 12:16:00 +0000

Hilarious. And Sacha Baron Cohen gets kudos from me for being brave enough to do that to Eminem, I mean, did you see those hulking bodyguards? Of course, people are all over this spectacle, they're dissing Eminem for not being able to take jokes when he just loves making them. I think that Eminem reacted how we was supposed to react. Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Bruno, could have played that joke on Ben Stiller, Zac Efron, or Justin Timberlake, and they all would have had different reactions, probably better ones than Eminem's utterly pissed off walkout, but he chose Eminem because he obviously knew that everybody would get a kick out of it.

Did Bruno go too far? I don't think so. This was typical scandalous Sacha Baron Cohen humor, either you're utterly disgusted by it, or you find it totally hilarious, mostly because he's not playing those jokes on you.

Was Eminem's walkout totally sissy? Well, what would you have done if some guy wearing a bird suit shoved his hairy crotch at your face?

Actually, I wouldn't have walked out.

I would have kicked him where it hurt the most.

But that's just me.

Speaking of the MTV Movie Awards, Twilight took most of everything, while Slumdog Millionaire (unsurprisingly for the MTV Awards) took nothing. Ben Stiller took the MTV Generation Award, which is well deserved because he is tres cool. Amy Poehler winning the Best WTF Moment for peeing in a sink in Baby Mama was awesome.

Although, Miley Cyrus' song "The Climb" winning Best Song would have been my choice for WTF.

"Terminator: Salvation" Film Review

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sun, 31 May 2009 10:43:00 +0000

Let me put it this way, when we were standing at the ticket booth deciding between Terminator: Salvation and Angels and Demons, I didn’t even hesitate.

Terminator Salvation is a sci-fi film directed by McG in 2009. It is the fourth installment in the Terminator movie series. The film stars Christian Bale, Sam Worthington, Bryce Dallas Howard, Anton Yelchin, Moon Bloodgood, Common, and Helena Bonham Carter.

Christian Bale always brings A-game acting, and his incarnation of John Connor is gritty and passionate. Everybody was pretty cool, but Sam Worthington deserves an extra kudos, even if his character was predictable. This new Terminator film finally showed the audience the future after the infamous Judgment day, and the apocalyptic scenery is certainly epic. It was fun to see all the action, I especially enjoyed the scenes where Marcus (Sam Worthington) and Blair (Moon Bloodgood, awesome name by the way) were trying to escape the headquarters, the cinematography was especially spectacular in that. Actually, any scene with Sam Worthington was a win for me, and it wasn’t just because he was pretty to look at. Promise. McG did manage to make me dizzy with the camera in the beginning though, but I guess most ex-music video directors can be a little camera obsessed. Story-wise, you don’t necessarily need to watch the previous Terminator films to watch Salvation, you just need to watch those for the sake of enjoying them, because they’re awesome in themselves. I even enjoyed T3, somehow. The action was worth sitting through the cheesiness, but I'm really tired of the “a block of wires and metal can beat like a heart too” motto all the Terminator movies are fond of.

Terminator: Salvation is cool enough to waste time and money for, at least in my book, but I don’t think that it’s especially awesome.

And for all those who think that any Terminator franchise without the almighty Ahnold Sschwarzanubugger isn't authentic, well, you might be surprised.

Hasta la vista baby.

American Idol Ain't A Singing Contest

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Thu, 21 May 2009 22:04:00 +0000

Kris Allen is nice. He's cute, in a puppy dog look kind of way, he's a pretty good singer, with that acoustic song-writer vibe, and he seems like a really good guy, even if that's the only thing most people can say about him. So it's pretty obvious that Kris Allen is nice, I'll even give him a very nice, but in no way is he even up to par with Adam Lambert's performance standard.

Even Kris Allen was flabbergasted by his own win, basically stating that "Adam deserves (to win)" after Ryan Seacrest announced the results.

For me, it's not a question of why Kris Allen won, but of why Adam Lambert lost. If American Idol was such a mega successful star finder, then why did the brightest star of all 8 seasons lose? No one can blame the judges, because they sure as hell did their fair share of flattery for Lambert.

People can blame all kinds of public issues for why Adam lost, and to be honest, it's all really moot anyhow. Even if he won, I doubt Adam Lambert would get any more attention than the massive outroar over his loss right now.

I guess there's one thing we've all learned for sure about all this: American Idol is shite.

American Idol 8 Should Be A No Brainer

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sat, 16 May 2009 11:27:00 +0000

Next week is the Season 8 finale, and I’m underwhelmed by the sing-off. Adam Lambert should have it in the bag, compared to his bona-fide rockstar performances, Kris Allen doesn’t even rate an opening act’s opening act. I emphasized should because Adam Lambert’s flamboyance (if you know what I mean) may keep him from getting the Idol title.

Adam Lambert

He is edgy, charming, and weird, but as Kara DioGuardi said, he makes us happy. Of course by us, I mean people who honestly appreciate the art of artists, no matter how unconventional. In short, I would lose mad, mad, mad respect for the American Idol audience if Kris Allen wins.

Kris Allen

He’s nice, no doubt about that, and talented of course, but his showmanship and creativity is, as we've seen, still no match for Adam Lambert’s.

Adam Lambert should win.

The Look On Simon Cowell's Face Says It All

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sat, 02 May 2009 04:30:00 +0000

It's official, Susan Boyle is an angel in disguise. I think, above anyone else's, her reaction to the judges' response was the most touching of all.

If you're in an inexplicably lousy mood, then this video is all you need to put an instant smile on your face and a flutter of warmth deep within your major aorta. I can't eloquently express how giddy and soft this vid made me, so watch it and feel or yourself.

Everyone has to watch it.

Click here and watch. Now.

It's not an ad, so don't fret your cynical little heart and just watch the vid.

Save the Dollhouse

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sun, 26 Apr 2009 08:51:00 +0000

Alright friends from the US of A, it's all up to you guys to save this fledgling of a genius show. The live ratings haven't been too kind on Dollhouse, thankfully, FOX has said that they understand that DVR and online ratings have to be considered as well, which is only fair since they stuck Dollhouse in a terrible Friday time slot. If you're absolutely unable to watch Dollhouse during its run on Fridays at 9/8pm, then watch it on HULU.

The recent episodes, particularly "Man on the Street," "Echoes," "Needs," and "A Spy in the House of Love," have been especially wow-worthy. Don't be dismayed by the conservatives, this show is meant to provoke and offend. How can it not when it's about the manipulation and trafficking of human identity? How can it not when it confronts the basic human desires, instincts, and "evils"?

Some Dollhouse fans have come up with a promotion to help the show called:

Watch Dollhouse Week.

Dollhouse is, without a doubt, a controversial show. It's a show that almost always leaves you with a trembling stomach. It's a good feeling. Gives you a split-second glimpse of your own humanity.

Right now the decision is still up in the air on whether there will be a second season, that's why fans can't fall asleep!

Here's the link for the latest episode trailer.

Remember: watch Joss Whedon's Dollhouse on FOX every Fridays at 9/8pm, OR watch it online on Hulu.

"Fast and Furious" Film Review

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Thu, 16 Apr 2009 01:08:00 +0000

Fast and Furious is right about one thing, fuel is as good as gold, and I wasted a few good liters driving to the theater for this.

Fast and Furious is the fourth installment of The Fast and The Furious movies. It’s directed by Justin Lin in 2009, and stars Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Jordana Brewster, Michelle Rodriguez, and John Ortiz.

The first 20 minutes of the movie was alright, the hijacking action scene with the semi truck was awesome. Paul Walker’s foot chase was also very entertaining. Beyond that, the movie began to race towards disappointment. I think the problem was that they tried too hard. The later action scenes were so forced that they had to rely on CGI for most of the final showdown. The acting was so forced that they had to rely on soap opera-esque close ups and dramatic music. The story was so forced that they had to kill a character just to make the movie in the first place. They turned scene-stealer Dominic Toretto (Vin Diesel) into a brooding, angsty, quasi-hero, which was not of the good. I expected Vin Diesel to show us that devil may care crush you with his thumb badass who prays before a meal charm that he displayed in the first Fast and the Furious installment. Instead, all we got was a brooder who looked constipated most of the time.

And don’t even get me started on Paul Walker’s character. Here’s a little snippet from FBI agent badass wannabe Brian O’Connor:

(Getting ready to race, talking through their car windows)
Dominic Toretto: “You Ready?”
Brian O’Connor: “A lot has changed.”

What the hell was that? You have to watch it to fully understand the “...uh, okay" moment.

On second thought, don’t watch it. Not if you’re expecting more than a fourth rate action movie.

Brian O’Connor: "This is bullshit!"
Fenix Rise: "Go cry to your mama eh?"

The April Trail

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 14:15:00 +0000

Sorry for the lack of March trailers. This April though, I come bearing some juicy movie trailers.

Fighting
Kind of like Fight Club and Never Back Down, but with a cleverer and more creative title! I'm calling it now, this film is pure Channing Tatum eye candy. And I'm watching it purely so that it can prove me wrong. Yup.
Release: April 24, 2009

The Brothers Bloom
A theif/con action movie spoof that has Rachel Weisz doing back-flip manuals on a skateboard? I'm sold.
Release: May 15, 2009

Public Enemies
Suffocatingly prestigious epics like these are always a win. Even if you somehow come to abhor the ambitious stories, watching the fascinating era it throws you in is worth every cent anyway. And with Christian Bale, Johnny Depp, and Marion Cotillard in it, you automatically get grade A acting.
Release: July 1, 2009

Moon
Kind of like Sunshine, except that the only thing broken is the protagonist himself. I'm intrigued by Sam Rockwell's performance.
Release: June 12, 2009

Drag Me To Hell
More horrific horror fodder. I want to watch it anyway.
Release: May 29, 2009

Alien Trespass
This could become either a tacky waste of time, or a spoof cult classic. I guess there is only one way to find out.

***

Remember folks, a good audience doesn't judge a movie by its trailer!

Rorschach's Nightmare

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 10:44:00 +0000

Good news horror fanatics!

Jackie Earle Haley, the actor who shot to geeky fame for his recent portrayal of the anti-hero Rorschach in the blockbuster-mixed reviewed-comic fan Utopian dream Watchmen, is cast to be the new Freddie Krueger in a modern remake of the horror/slasher series classic Nightmare On Elm Street, which was popular during the 80's to 90's.

Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach in Watchmen

Robert Englund as the previous Freddie Krueger

I'm not sure if it's a reboot kind of remake, although that would seem likely, since the last Elm Street film was like, more than a decade ago. I'm not including Freddy VS Jason, because films like that are a half-assed reason to make money, the sad part is that the people who pay for it expect quality scary moments. I mean, it's TWO murdering pyscho spawns of badness, it has to be scary, right?

Evidently not.

I already made a rant about my love/hate relationship with horror movie remakes in my previous post: "Horror Remakes Get Scarier Every Time...Really", so I'm not gonna do that anymore. I've learned to accept my infinite frustrations with the black holes of entertainment.

Do I have any hope that this new Nightmare On Elm Street remake will deliver the good kind of horror?

Not really. But I plan to watch it anyway. I'm stupid like that.

"The Unborn" Film Review

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:01:00 +0000

I loved the trailer. I just wish I didn’t waste so much money to actually watch the movie.

The Unborn is a supernatural horror film directed and written by David S. Goyer in 2009. The film stars Odette Yustman, Meagan Good, Gary Oldman, Cam Gigandet, Ethan Cutkosky, James Remar, and Jane Alexander.

Another one watch wonder, if it even warrants a “wonder.” To be fair, 90% of horror movies can only be watched once to get the maximum scare effect, a rewatch would simply be like replaying a live play. I’ve had more fun watching The Strangers, and I wasn’t too kind to that movie either. The thing is, The Unborn has no brain. I mean, it doesn’t require thinking. Or rather, it pretends to require you to think, before you realize that you’ll like the film more if you don’t invest your few precious neurons to it. In The Strangers, your curiosity is endlessly piqued because you want to know about those psychopathic killers and you’re constantly wondering what will happen next and why, so you do get some justifiable thrill. With the Unborn, sure, you’re wondering why, but then the movie feeds you these backgrounds, histories, and reasons that are totally unreasonable and then you figure out that the best way to enjoy the metaphysical-ness of the story is to ignore it all. And all you can do is just wait for the scary parts to do their job. But do they do their job?

The dog with the human mask was creepy as hell, all the kids were creepy as hell (extra kudos to Ethan Cutkosky), and the exorcist twist-off was creepy as hell, but everything else in between was just a waste of time. The scare factors itself weren’t all too bad, with the surround sound and dark ambiance of the movie theater, it can certainly give you chills, I actually felt a few good goosebumps that weren’t caused by the typical freezing temperature of the movie house. The audience reactions were also a hoot, I loved hearing the movie goers scream, and giggle, a lot.

Odette Yustman, also known as the Jessica Alba and Megan Fox hybrid, tried in vain to carry the movie. It was a little hard for me to take her acting seriously when she’s strutting her panty-clad ass towards the screen. The only sparkling personality is Meagan Good, who plays the inevitably killed best friend. That’s only a spoiler if you’re too dense to realize that best friends always die in these horror films. I kinda cheered quietly when I saw Gary Oldman on the screen. With his appearance, I thought maybe the movie would grant us a little sense to make the average intellectual happy. But then, he and his Christian priest friend decided to sprout off pretentious facts about the history of the world, religion, and the almighty dybbuk, and I just started to zone out until the final showdown.

Overall, The Unborn is twice as fun (which still isn’t as fun as you’d want) if you watch it in its run in the theaters, but was the ticket price ultimately worth it? Not to me.

To All Bloggers, I give you Blog Smog

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:20:00 +0000

As a blogger who has experienced being glued to her laptop for literally 24 hours (it was summer time, so the blatantly pathetic lethargy wasn't really my fault), I find this little vid especially funny. Watch it!

The Blog Smog film is part of Dentyne’s Make Face Time campaign reminding everyone to take breaks from technology and spend more time together in real life.

A Sad Goodbye To A Wonderful Actress

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Thu, 19 Mar 2009 07:15:00 +0000

I haven't update in a while, and it's all thanks to that pesky organization called college. However, when I heard the news that Natasha Richardson died yesterday, I was absolutely dismayed, and I had to write a little post in tribute to my favorite movie that she starred in.

The 1998 remake of The Parent Trap was my 10 year old self's ultimate favorite movie of all time. I watched it three times a week and did the secret handshake routine with my friends for every little excuse we could think of. I longed to be both Hallie Parker and Annie James at the same time when I grew up. Not only was I totally riveted by the awesome life of those twins, I was completely charmed by their parents as well. I wanted to hang out with their mom Elizabeth James, played brilliantly by none other than Ms. Natasha Richardson.

Lindsay Lohan and Natasha Richardson in The Parent Trap

Natasha Richardson died because of a traumatic brain injury caused by a skiing accident. Her fans are understandably devastated, her diverse acting range, talents, and kind persona have touched millions. Deep condolences to Liam Neeson, her two sons, and the rest of her family.

Natasha Richardson
May 11, 1963 - March 18, 2009

Blair Is Looking For A Roommate

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 08:02:00 +0000

According to the Hollywood Reporter, Gossip Girl star Leighton Meester is currently in negotiations to star in a thriller called The Roommate.

Christian E. Christiansen, and Roy Lee and Doug Davison are set to direct and produce respectively.

Apparently, the movie is about a girl named Sara, Leighton Meester's character, who is a college freshman assigned to dorm with a strange girl named Rebecca. Things go badly when Rebecca starts wreaking havoc and hurting people in Sara's life.

I've only got one question: Is Rebecca a Single White Female?

This seems like another typical horror slasher movie with girls running around a college campus. The premise reminds me of the horror flick Urban Legends, which starred Rebecca Gayheart and Jared Leto, and being reminded of that film is not a good thing.

I've been a fan of the Gossip Girl tv show, and although my interest has waned a bit (I blame the on/off Dan/Serena puke-worthy tandem) I've seen enough to be impressed by Leighton Meester's acting capabilities, and I'm kind of disappointed that she would choose such a mindless role.

I think Leighton Meester should only choose roles that Blair Waldorf would approve of.

Dardos Award

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 07:58:00 +0000

I got this award from Vanessa, creator of the awesome site TheMovieNess . This is the first award for Audientication so I'm kind of giddy right now.

The Dardos Award is given for cultural, literary, and personal values in the form of creative and original writing. These stamps were created with the intention of promoting fraternization between bloggers, a way of showing appreciation and gratitude for work that adds value to the Web.

The Rules:
1. Accept the award by posting it on your blog along with the name of the person that has granted the award and a link to his/her blog.

2. Pass the award to another five blogs that are worthy of this acknowledgment, remembering to contact each of them to let them know they have been selected for this award.

Now I'm going to pass on the Dardos award to my 5 idols: The Beat Review, Pamper Me Love, Berg Loves Pizza, Cinematic Passions, and Get A Film.

I STILL want the Dollhouse

noreply@blogger.com (Jizzka) — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 08:10:00 +0000

The premiere of the wildly anticipated show Dollhouse last February 13 was, admittedly, lukewarm. Lots of good, with an equal amount of "eh." The first ten minutes of the premiere episode, Ghost, was way too forced. That first little chat between Topher (Fran Kranz) and Boyd (Harry J. Lennix) was blatantly used for educating the audience about the set-up. It was like FOX expected the audience to be too stupid to get the premise. To be fair though, it was kind of needed. I get what they're trying to do, they want to reel in as much viewers as possible, so right now their storytelling is basically...well, basic. They want people to see the show and immediately get it, without too much of a headache. That's nice of them, but first of all, they should have expected Joss Whedon fans to be smarter that their average watcher. Haha, get it? Watcher.

Right.

And, despite the obvious tampering of the network executives, Ghost just isn't as bad most are making it out to be. It was actually good, not great, not bad, but good.

The second episode, The Target, was way better. More action, more backstory, more character introductions, more reasons why we should care. Extra kudos for bringing in Matt Keeslar, I love The Middleman! At this point, we get a glimpse of why Echo is the protagonist of the story.

(Harry J. Lennix as Boyd, Eliza Dushku as Echo, and Fran Kranz as Topher)

The third and latest episode, Stage Fright, is quite frankly, the worst. More of the cliched superstar "I want to be free" drama with obsessive and weird fans type of a story. The parallels of the Rayna character and Echo are obvious, but Rayna attracts very little sympathy (really, none). Although I loved the twist about Luboz (Enver Gjokaj), I wasn't necessarily surprised, after all I've been following the progress of the Dollhouse production, but it was awesome nonetheless.

Needless to say, Dollhouse has its ups and middles, but I haven't wavered in my optimism. Okay, I have. But only when I read those traitorous "fans" harshly criticisizing the show. But no matter what, I'm sticking by the Dollhouse. How could I not? I was ignorant enough to only learn about Buffy the Vampire Slayer during its 4th season, and I didn't even know about Firefly until I was flabbergasted by the awesomeness of Serenity. I'm not about to make the mistake of missing out on more Joss Whedon's genius. Plus, girls kicking major ass every week? Sounds like my kind of show.

Dollhouse can only get better, and despite some stumbles, it really does seem like the show is slowly but surely finding its stride. As for Eliza Dushku, so far she has done no wrong. I doubt she'll be brilliant in everything, but maybe there's an actual chance she'll prove me, and everyone else, wrong. At least Whedon seems to think so.

I actually can't wait for the 6th episode and onwards. Eliza Dushku has repeatedly said that the first 5 episodes were somewhat tailored for the FOX network's approval, and that the remaining episodes are where Whedon's novelist capabilities finally show. The themes are intriguing enough, questions like "Who are you without your memories?," "In the grand scheme of things, how much is one person worth?" and "Does personality make the person?" are already being subtly asked, and it can only sink deeper and induce more headaches. Good, healthy headaches, of course.

And for those who are ignorant, stupid, annoying enough to ask the infamous question "How will the audience relate/cheer for a heroine (Echo) who is a different character every week?"

Why don't you stop asking that question and actually watch the show and find out?