Auction Blot Weird - Where We Find Weird Auctions and Bring Them to the Masses

Punk Rock Mr. Spock

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 05:29:00 +0000

If you are a punk rocking Star Trek fanatic, this auction is probably like a visual depiction of your greatest punk rocking Star Trek fantasy. It’s too bad you are probably won’t ever be able to afford this piece of eye candy. Now, I have nothing against artists selling a painting for $12 million dollars, but can it at least be the Mona Lisa or something? But hey, what do I know? Punk Rocking Spock may very well end up being the Mona Lisa of our lifetime. The greatest part about this auction is the $13 Standard Flat rate shipping, which means it will probably be thrown in a truck only to be smashed underneath hundreds of pounds of other crap. Who needs a 12 million dollar painting in one piece anyways? Happy bidding!

$15,000 “Naturally ‘Fused and Frisky’ Animal Cracker”

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 21:14:00 +0000

Yes, you read that right, someone is auctioning 2 fused animal crackers for $15,000. Now, in all truthfulness, 100% the proceeds is going directly to the World Wild Life Fund, but will someone donate that much through this auction? I don’t know, but an even bigger question is, “Will they eat the cracker?”

Human Poop Fertilizer Composting Toilet

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 00:12:00 +0000

You ever sat down on the crapper and thought of all that wasted potential going down the drain? Well, you don’t have to anymore. If you bid on a composting toilet, you just have to poop on some dirt and some worms and you will have your own fertilizer gold mine. Your friends will be wondering why your tomatoes taste so good.

Worlds Largest Cheeto?

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 02:02:00 +0000

Apparently someone is selling a verified World Record sized Cheeto. Is this the real deal? You be the judge. As for me, if baking my own basketball sized cheese puff can net me what this auction is asking, I’ll submit it to Guinness right away.

Crazy Huge Beer Schlong Boxers

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 03:38:00 +0000

You ever wanted a huge schlong, but were too embarrassed to buy those over the counter pills or get surgery. Well now you can have the biggest schlong on the planet with only the use of 2 cans of beer if you bid on this auction . Don’t ever let your woman tell you buying beer is a waste, again! Just wait till she sees your huge BEER SCHLONG!

HUMONGOUS Fake Latex Boobies

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Sat, 30 May 2009 05:16:00 +0000

Hey ladies, have you ever wanted your own pair of unnecessarily large porno star boobies? You can just strap on a pair of these boobies and you are good to go. They also include huge fake nipples so guys can still tell when you are cold. Enjoy!

Is This Painting Worth $787,000?

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Fri, 29 May 2009 00:23:00 +0000

Call me crazy, but I don’t understand how the heck the person selling oil painting can justify selling this painting for $787,000. Give me some blue and red paint and I’ll paint you an exact replica for $10. Seriously!

Freaky Michael Jackson Poster

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Wed, 27 May 2009 21:34:00 +0000

Do you all remember the infamous freaky Michael Jackson mug shot? Well now you can get it in poster form! I have no idea why anyone would want this on their wall except to freak out every time they set their eyes on it. It would probably make a great Halloween decoration though.

FaRt BeaCh MeRMaiD on WooD

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Wed, 27 May 2009 21:02:00 +0000

Do you like art, I mean real art, real Fart Beach Mermaid on Wood art? Somehow, I don’t want to know how the seller came up with the name, I just hope it doesn’t smell like the title implies.

Star Trek Limited Edition Spork?

ralmares@auctionblot.com (Robert Almares) — Sat, 23 May 2009 21:17:00 +0000

Check out this auction for a Star Trek Limited Edition Spork with limited edition number.

Now I know some Trekkies would be willing buy anything having to do with their beloved series series, but a SPORK? Come on. I think I missed the part inbetween all the phazing and beaming up and down where the captain of the Starship Enterprise whips out his beloved spork to dig into his space aged meat and mashed potatoes. Perhaps I'm just misguided, or I just happened to miss that episode.

Anyhow, if you are into this kind of thing, you can buy it now for $50 or bid it out with other spork obsessed Trekkies. Spork me up Scottie!