Dr Jayme Albin is organizational psychologist and coach. She works with individual professional and decision making leaders to improve work place stress and performance and resiliency training.

For more info contact 212-631-1133 or info@cbt-newyork.com
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Websites:

• Ask The Cognitive Behavioral Therapist
• CBT New York
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No one likes mistakes, but we all make them and inadvertently  have to deal with them. If you take mistakes more personally than you should where you allow errors to  disrupt your mood,  lower self -esteem and caught up in blaming  others then you need to know some mental techniques from Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to reduce your negative thinking.  So what is the cognitive therapy secret to manage  mistakes so that they don’t become a source of anxiety, anger and stress?

People who see problems/mistakes as opportunities and things to work-out have the following  automatic reactive thinking to these situations:

CBT Tip 1. See the situation in numbers: They break it down to facts and figures.  What is the cost here? Can I afford these? Is there a way to increase my security? What is the cost/value  of that security?

CBT Tip 2. Accept external factor and constraints: They accept that life doesn’t operate based on ideals but reasonably consider and factor in practical features and limits. e.g.  Rather than seeing someone as disinterested recognize that they are not necessarily reliable due to scheduling problems.

CBT Tip 3. Get Active in  gathering information about what is available  They focus their mind to pay attention on what is possible by gathering the information necessary to get on.

CBT Tip 4. Expect Problems: They accept that not all factors are  within their control.  Therefore they reserve mental bank to deal with the expected but unknown stuff.

CBT Tip 5. Accept rational and reasonable responsibility.  Recognize that they made decisions based on knowledge and reasoning available at the time not what is available in the future.

Bad Mistake automatic thinking 

When people have anxiety and negative automatic thinking in reaction to stressful problem or mistakes it is because the mind  connects to parts of the brain that magnifies the  problem and gets stuck in focus on elements of “what is not fair..”it should have been this way”  and the loss itself..”if only if ” . Most likely because the error/problem was not  reasonably anticipated by the brain.so it sparks a threat reaction. 

Cognitive Behavior Therapy NYC

The goal of the mental gymnastic exercise is to be able to prepare your brain to be flexible and be able to perform at its best during times of mistakes/problems. The result of this cognitive mental exercise is to increase mental certainty.

CBT Mental Gymnastic Reducing Anxiety around mistakes:

Sit down, close your eyes, visualize the situation where the mistake occurred.  Focus on where you are magnifying the outcome and the blame. Consider the following questions: What is the emotional part of the problem?  What is the hardest part to accept for this yourself ? Can you see yourself accepting the new outcome?  Repeat this  cognitive visualization 3 times.

For more information on getting help with your anxiety problems or stress and increasing mental and emotional performance contact us today. 212-631-1133  or email info@cbt-newyork.com

www,cbt-newyork.com

Dr, Jayme Albin is a Clinical Psychologist and Yoga Instructor she provides individual, couples and group format psychotherapy and mental performance coaching sessions in person or through telatherapy/phone sessions or video therapy via Facetime or Skype.

Our office is located in Midtown New York City

120 East 56th Street

Dr. Albin is an expert resolving anxiety and stress related problems in work, relationships and personal situations. She is an expert in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and EMDR, Biofeedback therapy, Virtual Reality Therapy, Mind Yoga Therapy and Organization and relationship Psychotherapy.

Published by Dr. Albin 2014.

Here are a few simple tips to mange negative emotions when someone pushes your buttons: 

1. Breath and relax: Don’t let unnecessary tension add to the problem.  Unless you need to physically fight or run away it’s not necessary to get worked up. Click here on breathing tips 

2.Be your most “emotionally intelligent self”: assess what feelings you’re having and how strong they are. This will help you to become more self aware of your emotional reactions so you can be productive not counterproductive in your actions – frustration, anger, anxiety, confusion, dissatisfaction and disappointed usually are common. Use a ratings scale 1-10 to measure the amount.

3. Go Deep: what bugs you most on an emotional level with the situation or person e.g. I’m not in control; I feel taken advantage of; 

3.Then go concrete: ask your self what concrete obstacle are you feeling up against because of the situation   E.g. If he keeps interrupting me I can’t get this report in on time, e.g.2  I have to stay later 30 min than I wanted to in order to finish my tasks.  I won’t be home in time to workout    

4. Put a value that is realistic on the problem? e.g. If I don’t get him to stop interrupting me I will miss the deadline -this could cost us the bid. E.g.2 If I don’t end his interruptions I will be delayed in my todo list but many times what he needs is very important and if I don’t get to my gym class it will cost me $30 fee. 
Both problem examples have value but very different

4. Look for solutions that meet the value of the problem and address the concrete issue: Ask yourself “what different solutions can I take to resolve the concrete part problem?”
E.g. I can let him know that I need to get this report in on time and ask him to plan a meeting later in the day. Or I can say nothing and try to get in done. 
E.g. 2 I can tell him that my Task list is pending and that I can give him a few minutes of my attention now. Or I can forgo the gym on days we are really busy at work and just workout at home.  

5. Cost /benefit: Evaluate each solution: What are the benefits and costs of the plan? How much better or worse will I feel if I do or don’t activate this solution? Eg. If I plan a meeting then I have to find time but at least I’ll have time to finish my report And feel in control. If I don’t then I’ll be anxious and not able to focus on him or the report.
Eg.2 If I tell him I have to do my todo list and give him a few minutes now I’m afraid he will then want to meet at the end of the day. I like to leave on time and prefer no meetings after 4 so I’m better off managing his needs during the day and having my autonomy later . Keep in mind these are just examples.  It’s up to you to do the evaluation for your own value. 

6.Take Action: Then activate your plan. If your plan requires speaking to someone make sure you use assertion not aggression and active listening not defensiveness.

•  A few tips to keep in mind: set up for positive conversation by making a request to speak to the person. Even if it’s on the spot- let the person know you have something to say or ask of them. Prepare them to hear your feedback and focus on yourself  don’t just dump it on them. “Hey I’m having a hard time concentrating. Can we take a few minutes to catch up later ? ” Then later be assertive by mention how the interrupting is for you. Don’t blame the person for interrupting you. Ask them for suggestions on how to connect that works for both of you. After all you don’t want to do the same as in now impose your needs on them. Help them to see how you both will win.  

Dr Jayme Albin is organizational psychologist and coach. She works with individual professional and decision making leaders to improve work place stress and performance and resiliency training.
Dr Albin.  For more info contact 212-631-1133 or info@cbt-newyork.com

 F

Dr. Albin in the New York Post on anxiousness in NYC

Specific Phobias are a form of anxiety disorders. Phobias can develop from various triggers including a past trauma or related event, stress, hyperventilation problems and anxiety that over generalize from panic attacks or fear of discomfort that becomes associated with certain environments.

Research has established that overcoming a phobia requires exposure which provides  opportunity for the brain and associated features of emotions and physical symptoms to relearn that these situations are “safe”.   How the exposure is accomplished can have significant meaning in curing a phobia. For example if you don’t expose your self in a safe and prolonged enough manner the treatment can make you want to escape and create a strengthening of the fear. This is something you don’t want.

In our virtual reality treatment of phobias and anxiety we  deliver the exposure  to the patient in controlled and prolonged manner so that the patient can build mastery of coping skills, become desensitized to the phobic event and learn to stay calm.  We combine the virtual reality experience with biofeedback to help regulate and control the patients physical arousal and again build mastery of their body and brains’ functioning. The combination of the prolonged exposure therapy of the virtual reality and biofeedback allows for the patients’ fear to become less capturing and allows for the patient to reintegrate new core beliefs such as “I am safe. I can breathe. I can be present”.

Have you tried this type of treatment in the past but it did not feel comfortable or real enough? Well  Our office just signed up to be a part of the new expert network for www.psious.com which uses the new galaxy goggles and the lastest technology from a smart phone to deliver the best visual  virtual environments of planes, elevators, bridges, social and public speaking events and more. This protocol of virtual reality therapy also delivers relaxation training through visual systems that teach you how to control your breath and take advantage of the feature of the visual cortex.

For information on treatments involving virtual reality for phobias, anxiety and trauma or any other problems please feel free to contact us

Dr. Albin is an expert in the treatment of Phobias using virtual reality and biofeedback. She has published a clinical book based on her research and presented at the International Fear of Flying Conference.

http://www.askthecbt.com

http://www.cbt-newyork.com

info@cbt-newyork.com

212-631-1133

Dr Albin book on Virtual Therapy

Choice, freedom and autonomy are all part of American dream and no doubt fundamental to an individual’s sense of well being. Healthy people want to guide their own lives and feel as though they are taking advantage of the best opportunities. As a result we naturally tend to evaluate choices, look for improved opportunities and socially compare ourselves to others.

But social research shows that our society is at a cross roads with the phenomena of the benefits of more “choice”. Executive coaches and therapist are reporting more and more stress and problems with clients dealing with too many choices. 

Too much choice can lead to negative feelings of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed and a sense of dissatisfaction. Causing unhealthy behaviors of paralysis, avoidance, distraction, overindulge and ruminating.

Read more

Athletes and musicians often describe being in the “zone” at times of peak performance, in which they experience not only strong attention capabilities, but also a lapse in their sense of time passing as well as a surge of positive, calming energy.

Visual MeditationTherapy

Some of the characteristics of being in a Flow state include:
-a feeling of a “Natural high” that includes calmness and peace, spontaneous joy
– being able to avoid giving into meaningless distractions and emotional reactions
-a sense that challenges are targets to problem solve rather than obstacles that shut you down
-a self reinforcing feeling that encourages motivation and consistency for positive behaviors
-boundless sense of time

Using the Power of Flow Meditation to enhance your life
The “Flow Zone” is not just for athletes or artists it can be used by everyone to enhance your daily lives! You can use Flow in work, school and relationships. When you have flow you are able to move from action to action without getting being overly negative or stressed. You don’t sweat the small stuff. You stay focused on your present and what you can control.

Why does being in Flow make us happier and more successful?
A bi-product of being in a flow state of mind is to feel calm and in control. Imagine, similar to an athlete who uses the flow zone to stay focused on their play goals, to attend to their game strategy and to expect challenges from opposing team mates, you too are prepared and accept challenges in a way that lets you stay focused on what you need to do for you.
Being in the zone is self reinforcing to your brain’s chemistry, so the more often you are in a state of flow, the easier it is for you to access this state when you need it. A bi-product of this self-reinforcing trait of the flow state is that it forces you to be better by constantly pushing your limits and broadening your skills.

How do we achieve flow?
Since being in the flow zone is automatically reinforcing to your brain’s chemistry as well as your psychological state of mind and the behaviors that follow, the best way to achieve flow is to practice specific mind-body exercises that encourage those same thought waves.

 “You can enter a mental state of flow by engaging in certain breathing, visualization and mediation. It’s the combined brained activity of attention and calmness over a challenging stimulus that puts the person in a state of flow. “
“In my flow program I work with clients to develop personal visualizations that create positive outcomes in contrast to your personal fears. Fear is what limits us from achieving a state of flow in our lives. When your brain is in a flow state it sees the positive and neutral information more clearly and keep potential problems within reasonable limits so that you can cope emotionally or problem solve is necessary. When you lose the flow you become overwhelmed, distracted or bored.”

What to do? Here’s a simple visualization, mediation and breathing exercise
Lie face up on the floor. Close your eyes 9/10 of the way. Start to scan your body for tension. Begin to attend to each of the following body part individually for 20-30 seconds (feet, calves, thighs, arms, hands, abdominal area, chest, shoulders, forehead, jaw). On the inhale notice that body part ; on your exhale tell that part of the body to relax and as you notice it relaxing. Progress through your body
Then start to become mindful of your breath as you allow your breathing to deepen challenge your mind to now stay focus on repeating silently to yourself a mantra that reflects a personal positive belief you have about yourself. “I can …” “I am” as you visualize yourself doing an action that exemplifies this belief. When you become distracted challenge your self to stay on your visual and affirmation.

Want more help in practicing getting into your zone, then schedule a private or attend a group flow mediation class in NYC New York or South Hampton, Hampton NY (private or group) with Dr. Jayme Albin Email or call us for information 212-631-11333 or Info@cbt-newyork.com

Published by Dr. Albin 2014.

Dr. Jayme Albin is a Clinical Psychologist and Yoga Instructor. She has appeared on National television as an expert on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy and Yoga Therapy including Dr. Oz, Montel Williams and film documentaries. She wrote the “The Official Idiot’s Guide to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy” by Penguin House 2014 and “Treating Fear of Flying using Virtual reality and biofeedback” 2011.
For more information visit us at cbt-newyork.com

“Cognitive Behavior Therapy” at its very essence involves developing self awareness of one’s thinking and how if effects your day to day life and relationships.

Understanding Automatic thoughts is a good place to start  this process (called metacognitive process).

Automatic thoughts are the thoughts and images that involuntarily pop into our conscious (or just below if they are habitual). They make up how we “read” a situation. Understanding your automatic thoughts  can influence change in a variety of situations.

Here are some examples:

• You are at work and you see a look of disapproval on your boss’ face in response to something you have given him. Your automatic thought (AT) is  “Oh no, he thinks I am stupid, I will never get promoted”.
• You are at a social gathering where  someone looks at you inquisitively,  your AT is “That person does not like me! What did I do wrong?”
• You are in cab and the driver runs into traffic, your AT is “What’s wrong with you? Why  didn’t you  know to take the other route, you idiot?!”

NYC Psychologist

AT’s are dangerous because usually we take for granted that they are True. Even more dangerous, we have a tendency to accept them as the only explanation or view of the scenario.  Reactive behavior is based on automatic thinking.

In CBT, we examine the automatic thoughts to see just how accurate or functional they really are. That is called reality testing. When we reality test we often find there were other avenues we could have taken with our responses.

It does not necessarily mean that our original opinion or automatic thoughts are  entirely wrong, but rather it helps us to integrate the perspective of others or reduce  biases that create extreme reactions to events.
By reality testing and other methods of examining our automatic thoughts we can then behave proactively, including problem solving in improve situations.
So going back to our examples, when we reality test and practice replacing the automatic thought with a more helpful one we come up with:

• When you see a look of disapproval on your boss’ face in response to something you have given him. Your replacement thought can be  “He is not pleased with the project, so  let me ask him what I can do to improve it”.
• So when you see someone look at you inquisitively,  your replacement thought can be  “That person does not seem to be happy, let me go over and see if I can address any misunderstanding or help “
• You are in cab and the driver runs into traffic, your replacement thought can be  ” Maybe I can ask him if there is another route he knows of? “

The best part of this method of thinking and responding is that there is no down side in attempting to improve on any situation!

These biases and extreme reactions come out in stressful or emotional situations because our automatic thoughts are based on beliefs we have about ourselves, others and the world in which we live . These are called core beliefs or schema. These core beliefs and schema show up in the form of expectations, assumptions and judgments and are  reinforced by our reactive behavior and thought patterns.

For more information about Cognitive Behavior Therapy or Integrative Psychotherapy in New York City  please contact Dr. Jayme Albin Info@CBT-NewYork.com 212-631-1133

Q: How does Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) differ from other forms therapy?     CBT is more focused on the present, more time-limited, and problem-solving and goal oriented.  During sessions clients learn specific skills that they can use for the rest of their lives. These skills involve identifying distorted thinking, modifying beliefs, relating to others in different ways, and changing behaviors.

Psychologist NYC-CBT

Q: What is the theory behind CBT?    Cognitive behavior therapy is based on the cognitive model: the way we perceive situations influences how we feel emotionally.

For example, someone being asked to reschedule a meeting might think “I am not being respected” and feel angry. Another person might think “another day will give me more time to prepare” and feel happy. So it is not a situation that directly affects how people feel emotionally, but rather perspective of that situation. When people are in distress their perspective is often skewed and their thoughts become irrational,                                                overly negative or overwhelming and obsessive.

Q: How does Dr. Albin use CBT to help clients with their problems and symptoms?  Dr. Jayme Albin teaches clients to identify, evaluate and challenge distressing thoughts. The overall goal of  Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is to change deep core beliefs and develop healthier attitudes- so that they can relieve symptoms, feel        better and  behave less reactionary.

Q: How does CBT help behavior problems? The second focus of CBT  is on  behavior change and building skills to problem solve . Dr. Albin works through the  exposures (virtual Reality, imagery, live exposures) with clients to reduce avoidance and teaches skills such as assertion and empathy building to enhance relationships and self-confidence.

Q: How does CBT combine with Biofeedback and Yoga Therapy?  Dr. Albin teaches breathing and deep relaxation techniques using biofeedback.  Clients use these techniques to  tap into subconscious areas of the brain, to release painful emotions and cure  physical symptoms of  anxiety, anger and depression. These techniques aid in the exposure therapy session by making the exposures more tolerable.

Q: How long does CBT last?  Cognitive Behavior Therapy can be relatively short term (lasting from 12-16 weeks) or can be more long term (6 months or longer). The length of treatment depends on the goals of the client.

Q: Who can do CBT?  CBT is an appropriate therapy for children, adolescents and adults. It has been proven to be effective in treating anxiety, depression, anger problems, PTSD,  weight loss, eating disorders and adjustment problems. CBT is also helpful for clients looking to be more positive, enhance their sense of well being, improve self esteem and enhance relationships.

 For more information on Cognitive Behavior Therapy services and other psychotherapy services offered in New York please call or email us today 212-631-1133 or DrJayme@askthecbt.com

Can you prevent panic attacks from developing into panic disorder using CBT? According to New York City Psychologist and Anxiety and Phobia expert, Jayme Albin, PhD. the answer is “Yes, you most definitely can prevent panic attacks from developing into a full blown anxiety disorder or a phobia.”

Most people especially woman will experience a few panic attacks in their life time but the main difference between those who eventually develop panic disorder or a phobia is whether or not you start to worry about the symptoms.

Panic attacks are periods of intense anxiety that can be brought on for a number of different reasons. Sometimes they occur spontaneously because of ongoing stress, or because you are worried and anticipate a bad situation. Another reason why you may have a panic attack is because you have taken in a foreign substance such as caffeine or drugs (e.g. Novocain, recreational drugs, or prescribed stimulants).

Psychologist in New York Specializing in Anxiety, Depression and PTSD

Panic Attacks:

• The symptoms of a panic attack usually peak around 10 minutes and the episode can last any where from 10 minutes to several hours. Common symptoms include heart palpitation, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, numbness and tingly body sensations, tension in the chest region, and agitation.   Common thoughts that come with experiencing panic attacks and can bring on future attacks include: thinking you are going crazy, having a heart attack, or need to escape. Those who normalize the experience and contain these thoughts limit the attacks to times of stress and prevent future attacks.Another common behavior that can exacerbate a panic attack to panic disorder or developing a phobia include escaping the situation you are in when the attack occurs and future avoidance of the situation.  Both of these actions can take a singular episode of a panic attack and evolve it into full blown panic disorder.The major difference between having a panic attack and developing panic disorder is fear of the panic symptoms themselves.  You start to anticipate the discomfort of having the panic attacks so much that you either bring on the symptoms or engage in chronic avoidance. 

For more information about overcoming panic attacks, anxiety disorders and phobia (fear of …) contact our offices today. We have 2 New York City Locations UES and Midtown East 212-631-1133 DrJayme@askthecbt.com

Are you looking for one of the top therapists in New York City? Dr Jayme Albin is an expert in CBT, Anxiety, Panic disorder, Phobias PTSD and Depression Therapy. 

A common CBT method for avoiding bad habits and keeping them from creeping back into healthy behaviors and emotions is known R and R (Regulation and Response). This is a type of response prevention technique. This technique requires you to self-monitor and then immediately respond to small changes before they get out of hand and lead to bad habits that interfere with positive behaviors, relationships and stable emotions.

Psychologist in New York Specializing in Anxiety, Depression and PTSD

How to do this:

1. Create concrete “goal posts” that signal to you that your behavior is starting to backslid and bad habits are starting creep in. Some rules: these must be specific and measurable goals and easy to recognize.

2. Create a stable and consistent response plan. This plan must be specific, actionable immediately and counteract your bad habits.

3. When you reach or surpass your “goal posts” you MUST be committed to activating your plan. No excuses, such as “I am on vacation”, “I feel….”, or “I don’t feel…”, “This is different because …”

4. Activate support techniques to help the plan go smoothly such as doing relaxation exercises (see Dr. Jayme Albin -NYC psychologist -post on Breathing techniques) and challenge your thoughts (See Dr. Jayme Albin-NYC psychologist) on Changing your thinking style)

Psychologist in New York Specializing in Anxiety, Depression and PTSD

Here are some examples:

1. Let say you have an anger problem and your past bad habit are to curse, yell and scream. Your “Goal Post” behavior is hearing yourself say a curse word. This goal post acts as a signal that you are about to enter into an old bad pattern and let your anger take over. Your response plan is then to: a. activate a relaxation exercise, b. postpone the argument and c. do a thought log challenging your reactionary thoughts and feelings

2. Lets say you have an anxiety problem and “fear of” has kept you from living life. Your past bad habit are to avoid social encounters and stay home unless it’s essential you leave the house. Your “goal post” is staying home 2 weekends in a row and let your anxiety and fear of people keep you from getting there and meeting someone. You then can activate your response prevention plan to stop making excuses and avoiding people. Your response plan is then to commit to a social interaction in the next few days. Your support and coping techniques are to some breathing techniques regularly and return to your coping statements such as “I am lovable, people are not judging me more than others”

3. Let’s say you are weight obsessed. Your past bad habit are to order french fries and dessert. Your goal post behavior are gaining 5lbs or ordering french fries and dessert 2 days in a row You use this as a signal that you are making indulgent choices without being mindful of long term weight goals. Your response plan is to return to your structure diet until the pounds come off Your support plan is to speak to a friend, workout out for 20 minutes at a minimum 4 times that week and return to thought challenging statements about food such as “French fries are only going to make me temporarily happier.

4. Let’s say you are depressed. Your past bad habits are to stay in bed and procrastinate getting dressed or doing work. Your “goal point behavior” is sleeping more than 14 hours or staying in bed all day more than one day. You use these as behavior signs that you are contributing to your own depression. Your CBT response prevention plan is commit to yourself to get out of bed at a reasonable time, shower and go for a walk each day for the next week. No excuses! Your support therapy plan is to reactivate challenging your depression thoughts and spend time with friends.

Psychologist NYC -2 Therapy Offices in New York 10128 and 10022

How you can do it:

• What is your problem of focus? What are your bad habits of choice ?
• What can you make as your “Goal Post Behavior”- that signals you are back sliding? CBT Tip: This must be a concrete behavior so you can identify it immediately.
• What is your replacement response prevention plan? This need to be concrete and firm and accessible no matter where you are
• Don’t wait until you back-slide to bad habits to create this plan s. If you do you will end up returning to old bad habits and feel guilty, lose motivation and start to blame yourself or others.

Copyright Albin MA Corp 2014

For more information about how to apply CBT to help you manage anxiety, depression, anger or other related problems please contact our New York City Offices at 212-631-1133 DrJayme@askthecbt.com

We are located in Midtown Manhattan, New York 10022

CBT therapist Psychologist in New York Specializing in Anxiety, Depression & PTSD

Psychologist and NYC therapist, Dr. Jayme Albin is an expert in treating anxiety disorders. Dr. Jayme Albin provides psychotherapy for Anxiety problems and other psychological problems in New York, New York. We have 2 therapy offices in New York City (NYC). Upper east side, NYC and Midtown East, NYC.

If you are concerned that you may need therapy to help overcome or manage an anxiety disorder with a therapist continue reading

Is this you:
-” I often feel overwhelmed by all if the tasks i need to do in life
“My friends and family who live in other cities don’t seem to be as stressed as me ?”
-” I often feel physical symptoms such as stomach aches, headaches, shortness of breath, my heart racing, numbness in my hands and toes, dizziness and muscle tension”
-“I get easily irritated when my expectations are not met”
– “There are times that I want to avoid situations that I know are perfectly fine but I cannot help but feel I cannot cope”
– “I worry more than others about everyday situations or problems. I have sleepless nights worrying about my future”
-“My mind is constantly racing”
-” I have trouble sleeping without drugs”
-“I predict bad outcomes when I have no evidence to back it up”
-” I check my gadgets and seek reassurance from friends and family to the point that it annoys others”
” I fear situations like fear of flying, fear of small /crowded spaces (claustrophobia), fear of subways, fear of heights , or fear of social situations (fear public speaking, fear social gatherings )
-” I feel exhausted at the end of each week and use the weekends to crash”
-” I put off doing certain things in life because I cannot make a decision and worry ill make the wrong choice”

If you said yes to at least 5 of the items you might have an anxiety disorder such as panic disorder , general anxiety (worry), OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder ), social anxiety or a phobia (fear of ….)

New york city Anxiety Disorders: Anxiety disorders are common in New York City and other major cities because the people of NYC live fast paced lives. We are consistently stressed… running from meeting to meeting, checking our cell phone and email every few seconds from morning to night, we expect ourselves and others to rush through everything and become anxious and impatient when it doesn’t happen the way we expect.

We commute in /out and around NYC on crowded trains, Subways or cabs where there is always traffic and the stress around not knowing which is the best route to take.

We deal with long lines from Starbucks, to the airport to doctors appointments. We are always waiting but want to rush!

We New Yorkers also have an abundance of choices that can be overwhelming and cause us to become stagnant in our routines. This applies to hobbies (” I don’t know which writing class is best so I never end up going”), dating (what if there is someone better out there for me, so I don’t commit” ) and career choices (What if I could make more money or be happier working in some other organization, I don’t want to move around so I stay at my old job because it feels secure”).

What to do:

1. If you think you are suffering from anxiety problems related to New York City consider working with an anxiety expert (psychotherapist or psychologist in New York). Psychologist and psychotherapist who practice in New York have a better chance at understanding your anxiety triggers. Even if you live in a surrounding suburb but work in manhattan you should consider working with a NYC therapist or psychologist in New York City
2. Practice meditation or breathing daily. Especially when you are in a stressful situation like an airplane. long line or back of an NYC cab . This will inoculate you to the stress
3. Challenge your distorted expectations. Instead of expecting things to go fast recognize this is a crowded city and we normally have to wait.
4. Limit choices to a few items based on your most important criteria
5. Practice for flexibility in your behavior. If you try something and it’s not perfect live with it.
6. Be conscious of others. You are not the only New Yorker in line

Dr Jayme Albin is Licensed psychologist and Yoga instructor. She has 2 New York psychotherapy offices 10128 and 10022. For more information about receiving therapy services from Dr. Albin call 212-631-1133 or Email Us at DrJayme@askthecbt.com
Visit us at www.askthecognitivebehaviortherapist.com

Jayme Albin, Ph D psychologist is an expert in anxiety problems, Cbt therapy, biofeedback therapy, EMDR therapy yoga therapy and virtual reality therapy in NYC.

Here are some tips from psychologist Dr. Jayme Albin, Ph.D.*

* Dr Albin has a degree in Clinical Psychology and a Masters in Developmental Psychology from Columbia University. She has been in private practice in New York City providing therapy for anxiety, depression, trauma and relationship problems since 2003. You can see Dr. Albin on Youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7W7TsX2q98

Psychologist NYC -2 Therapy Offices in New York 10128 and 10022

1. Make sure the therapist has at least 10 years experience in providing therapy for anxiety or your targeted problems.

2. Make sure the therapist is a specialist in Cognitive Behavior Therapy for the problem. Most therapists will claim that they do CBT but many don’t have any information/skills to back up the claim. A good CBT therapist who focuses on anxiety disorder should be able to explain the treatment plan. Yes each client is different but overall an expert in anxiety should be able to give you a general overview and example of how they would treat your anxiety symptoms using Cognitive Behavior Therapy for anxiety.

CBT for anxiety is an important part of any good therapist’s protocol because it has been proven by research to be the most effective form of therapy for treating anxiety disorders and in many studies has shown to be just as or at times more effective than medication alone.

Psychologist specializing in anxiety New York, NY

3.Make sure the therapist is a Licensed Mental Health professional either a Psychologist (Ph. D or Psy D) or Social Worker (LCSW). The primary differences between a psychologist and social worker is education, number of years of training and research experience. Psychologist do 5 years of graduate school at a minimum and a minimum of 5 -7 years of training before they can become licensed in New York ( 3 years of externship, a one-two year internship and one-two years of post doc training). PhD’s also do a minimum of 2 major research project (a pre doc and dissertation which is an original piece of research). PsyD’s do a minimum of 2 research projects ( but they don’t have to original research they can be a literature review of other people’s research).

Social workers require 2-4 years of training before they can obtain an independent license (2 years while in graduate school to obtain their basic license and 2 more years to obtain an independent license to practice in their own private practice without supervision). Social workers at the masters level don’t do research projects-of course they have papers, reports. etc.. Some social workers may go on to obtain a doctorate in social work, this is when they would do a research dissertation.

4. Who to avoid. In my opinion those who have don’t have a mental health license, who market themselves as a coach or have a basic degree in counseling or masters in psychotherapy are not fully equipped to handle many complex cases involving anxiety, depression and other related symptoms. These are good starter degrees but not degrees that quality someone to treat patients effectively without supervision.

5. Find someone you connect with. Besides the degree and experience find someone you like and connect with. Research shows that rapport between therapist and patient is a strong predictor of outcome.

Psychologist in New York Specializing in Anxiety, Depression and PTSD

Dr. Jayme Albin a top psychologist in New York and an expert in the field of anxiety and using CBT to treat anxiety disorders and anxiety symptoms. She has been treating anxiety problems for over 10 years in New York City, has authored several articles and books on the topic including “Using Virtual Reality and Biofeedback to Overcome Fear of Flying”. Dr. Albin has presented at the Open Center of New York City on Stress Management and Anxiety and has appeared on television as an expert in treating anxiety disorders.

For more information about Dr. Jayme Albin and to schedule an appointment at the 2 NYC Psychology Offices please call 212-631-1133 or Email DrJayme@askthecbt.com

www.askthecbt.com www.SculptNYC.com

Do you often feel criticized in your relationships either at home or at work? New York Psychologist, Jayme Albin, PhD offers some helpful advice…

When your partner or friends tell you how you have hurt them do you immediately defend yourself then shut down without listening and acknowledging their side of things?

When your boss or colleagues call you out for not finishing something on time or leaving early do you think “What a jerk? “ And then complain to your friends and spouse rather than take responsibility for your actions?

Psychologist NYC -2 Therapy Offices in New York 10128 and 10022

Defensiveness is one of the primary negative reactions that interfere with growth and trust in any relationship. Defending yourself is important but too much of it can leave the other person feeling as though they cannot approach you with their opinions and needs. It can also limit your growth at work since others are likely to avoid giving you feedback to help you improve. Being defensive is a symptom of anger, depression and anxiety disorders. Here are some basic tips to help overcome this negative reaction.

What to do: If you find that you are often defensive when others approach you then New York City Psychologist Jayme Albin, Ph. D offers some psychotherapy advice to help  you reduce this negative reaction and bad habit.

1. Contain your response. Instead of interrupting with your side of the situation. Wait until the other person is completely finished with their side of things.
2. Ask for information and specifics. Show you are willing to hear the other person out by asking them if there is more information they need to share and if can they offer you some specific examples to help you understand things better.
   

   Psychologist NYC, Therapist NYC

3. Write down the feedback, complaint, or criticism. First write it down exactly as they said it. Ask the person if you can take notes. This will also show you are concerned and interested in their point of view. Then re-write what they said by trying to be as objective as possible. For example let’s say your boss says “ I am worried about your work because you are always late, work from home a lot of Fridays and other employees are saying you are not available and don’t return emails over the weekends”. Start by writing this down and then turn it into objective information: I am usually late 10-15 minutes and it’s not acceptable at work. I have a limited number of Fridays that I can work from home. Face time at the office is important. I don’t return emails over the weekends-this is generally true.
4. Pause and schedule a follow up conversation. Let’s say your spouse regularly complains that you are messy around the house. After writing down the information (item 3), schedule a time to address the problem “Can we talk after dinner about this problem?” or with your boss “I need a little time to digest what you are telling me, can we continue this conversation tomorrow? I will out some time on your calendar”
5. Acknowledge and empathize first, then take responsibility by offering a good faith gesture and then finally explain your position. First start by acknowledging what the other person has said. Use the written objective information as a guide:

So what you are saying is that “I am late often, my Fridays working from home are a problem and that you want me to check emails over the weekends. Did I get everything right?

Then empathize and take responsibly where you can before you explain your position:

–“I can understand how my recent behavior at the office might make you be worried about my work ethic and dedication to the firm. I am dedicated to this company. I will take the earlier train so that I am on time (offer a good faith gesture) I do want you to know that I am doing work when I work from home, I actually like working from home for 2 reasons. I can work later because I don’t have to rush to catch the train home and I get more creative work done because there are no interruptions. But if you think it’s interfering with my work then I can limit it and check my emails at least once a day over the weekend.

Dr. Jayme Albin is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, executive coach and yoga instructor.She is an expert in anxiety, depression and anger and how it interferes with relationships. For more information on managing relationships using Cognitive Behavior Therapy and other forms psychotherapy in New York City or via skype call or email us at 212-631-1133 or DrJayme@askthecbt.com We have 2 Psychotherapy Offices in New York City  Midtown East New York 10022 and Upper East Side, New York City 10128 Psychologist NYC

Copyright © Albin MA Corp.

One day you and your mate are  laughing and feeling as though the two of you are on the same page about your relationship. It seems as though the two of you can  tackle any problem as a  team. Then one day, it seems from no where, you cannot agree on  the simplest issues.  You are  bickering over anything and everything. You find yourself feeling defensive and worked up emotionally and physically. This is because as you get closer you feel more vulnerable,  their opinions, especially ones that relate to you take on more significance and as a result you react in more emotional ways.  Why does this happen? This is because without conscious awareness you automatically come to expect unconditional  support and agreement from  your partner. Their differences in opinions are not just about a difference in preference but a rejection of you and your ideas.

For example, when your boss asks you to take on yet another project without promise of a raise or promotion, instead of jumping on your band wagon of “how could the boss ask such things!”,  your significant other plays devil’s advocate and points out that maybe your boss is under financial distress, as a result you feel betrayed and frustrated that your feelings are not being acknowledged and ideas supported. To you it seems that he /she is taking your boss’ side rather than seeing things your way, after all, your partner knows how hard you have been working lately. The meta-message you are receiving is that “you don’t agree with me, you are not on my team”

Meta message are unconscious messages that we interpret from the behaviors of others. Other examples of where we read meta-messages can include not agreeing on how you should spend time together, raise kids or pets, how to spend/save money and how to respond to friends and family.

When your expectations are not met by your partner it can easily lead to an over abundance of the 4 notorious relationship killing behaviors: Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness and Stonewalling. These 4 relationship killers are known as the 4 horseman and have been researched unequivocally as the MOST damaging features of a relationship*. These are :

1. Criticism: Attacking your partner’s personality or character, usually with the intent of someone being right and someone being wrong. Examples include, generalizations: “you always…” “you never…”“you’re the type of person who …” “why are you so …”

2. Contempt: Attacking your partner’s sense of self with the intention to deeply insult or ridicule them. Examples include – Insults and name-calling and hostile behavior and mockery. “Jerk, lazy, ” or eye rolling, and sneering.

3. Defensiveness: Extreme rejection of any responsibility and playing the victim. Examples include making excuses, always explaining how the circumstances were beyond your control, raising counter arguments , or belittling their complaints  “It’s not my fault…”, “Yes but … …”. “You are not so innocent; it’s nice to be a perfect person”.

4. Stonewalling: Withdrawing from the relationship as a way to avoid conflict. You may think you are trying to be “neutral” but stonewalling conveys disapproval, icy distance, separation, disconnection, and/or smugness. Examples, include prolonged silence, mutterings, changing the subject. This is different from self-care which conveys “I cannot talk about this right now, I need time to calm down or process, we can address this later”.

*Renowned relationship expert, Psychologist John Gottman and the Gottman Institute has done extensive long-term studies monitoring real couples and creating specific techniques to combat the 4 horseman. Dr. Jayme Albin is a Clinical Psychologist and a graduate of the Gottman method  and brings the Gottman method of resolving couples disputes and strengthening your relationship to you in the New York City area.

For more information please email or call us today. DrJayme@askthecbt.com 212-631-1133. We accept most major insurance plans (out of network benefits only) and have a sliding fee scale for those without insurance. 

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1. Over buying food.  Buying in bulk is a dangerous behavior.  If you are forced to ration what you have in the fridge you are more likely to focus on what and when you eat something.

2. Buying too many different items of variety. When you have a ton of different snacks in your office or home you are likely to want to try a little bit of everything, its similar to when you are at a buffet. DON’T CREATE A BUFFET AT HOME!

3. Failing to creating meal plans even a 5 min ahead. The smart thing to do before you eat ANY MEAL at home or in a restaurant is to decide how many calories or parts of protein, fat and carbs. you should be eating during this meal while reflecting on your overall day. When you decide in advance you are less likely to keep eating until the food is gone, less likely to try to keep up with others and less likely to  eat  until you feel full (which takes an addition 20 min after eating).

4. Eating too fast.  This goes along with item 3. Eat slower and you will not over eat!

5. Paying attention to the scale not the steps walked..this means focus on what you can do to control weight not obsess about the idea of gaining weight.

6. Thinking competitively rather than about your self. If you are busy focusing on how unfair it is that “the skinny girl” can eat without every seeming to gaining weight you are focusing on the wrong person. Each persons metabolism is different. So pay attention to your own metabolism!

7. Eating off others plate. This leads to Discounting calories (ignoring what you are putting in your body) This includes eating your spouses french fries or your kids snacks

8. Not recording on paper /digitally what you ate.  People who are financially responsible keep books records of what they earn and spend -this technique  helps to maintain strong awareness and accountability

9. Announcing to others regularly that you are fat or once again diet- instead stay your course and make specific statements “I’m going to eat Salmon tonight” or “I am trying to lose 5lbs”

10.Recreation eating- Don’t eat while playing games, doing  puzzles or watching tv or movies. You are not being mindful about the food you are consuming

Want more information about weight loss and maintenance programs then contact us to set up an initial consultation. We do in person sessions, group sessions or skype sessions.  

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