WHAT: The Mustache Rangers at Improv a Go-Go
EXPLAIN: Four rotating improv groups perform on stage
WHEN: September 27th and October 4th at 8pm
WHERE: Brave New Workshop, 2605 Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis
PRICE: $1.00

WHAT: Killer B’s Improv Movie at Improv a Go-Go
EXPLAIN: Four rotating improv groups perform on stage
WHEN: September 27th, October 4th and 11th at 8pm
WHERE: Brave New Workshop, 2605 Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis
PRICE: $1.00

WHAT: Creature Feature and Survivors of the Undead Plague
EXPLAIN: Creature Feature is a monster movie created on stage based on audience suggestions, while Survivors of the Undead Plague perform their zombie movie satire on stage based on audience suggestions.
WHEN: October 2nd, 9th, 16th, 23rd and 30th at 10:30pm
WHERE: Brave New Workshop, 2605 Hennepin Ave, Minneapolis
PRICE: $10.00

WHAT: Survivors of the Undead Plague at Sample Night Live!
EXPLAIN: 12 shows. One night. 20 bucks.
WHEN: October 7th at 7pm
WHERE: History Theater, 30 E 10th St, St. Paul
PRICE: $20.00

At this point, I hang up on the salesman from Northwestern Mutual. Obviously, X would never have dropped my name because they barely know my name. This sales tool was lying. So the investigation began.

I checked my phone log and found the number for the Northwestern Mutual salesman. With a simple internet search of his phone number, I found his Northwestern Mutual profile page. Marcus. Hello, Marcus. Let’s figure out how you found my work number and developed your lie.

It was a pretty simple connection, actually. Marcus was connected with X on LinkedIn, the social site for finding job connections. Marcus had been going through and grabbing the names of people who were connected to X from LinkedIn, the names of the companies they worked for, looking up the main phone number for their offices, and making up a false back stories about being referred to call them by X.

Number one, I’m pretty sure this is a misuse of LinkedIn’s user agreement. Number two, those are some pretty shady sales tactics. Marcus used social media in the worst and most destructive manner possible. He exposed himself as ignorant and tarnished the name of Northwestern Mutual at the same time. He burned the social media bridges he was using, instead of making smart use of them and growing actual connections.

A happy customer tells one person, an unhappy customer tells everyone. And I’m not even a customer! If I was ever in a position to use any sort of financial service, I certainly wouldn’t go with or recommend Northwestern Mutual. Also, I think I’ll blog about this.

You see, if a Dairy Queen franchise does offer the Crunch Cone, it usually can’t be found on the menu. You need to special order it, like you’re a celebrity. And the majority of Dairy Queens don’t even carry Crunch Coat any longer.

So, my mission is clear. To find the Dairy Queens across the Twin Cities metro area that carry the Crunch Cone. Calling and asking if they have the Crunch Cone is cheating. I will go there, ask, purchase, and take a picture with this magnificent and little known dessert.

If you have found a Dairy Queen that carries the Crunch Cone, feel free to take your own picture and add it to the Flickr group. I’ll spread the word.

Let’s get to work, people. Summer is winding down!

[Photo by Ben Spark]

Does the prominent “WHAT A MESS!” refer to the ad itself?

Or is it what God is thinking about the current state of Earth’s Powerpoint presentations?

Perhaps God is referring to his mangled right hand, where Jesus is supposed to sit.

Or He’s talking about the galaxy he accidentally conjured up within our solar system.

Maybe God is crashing into Earth, and he is lamenting the mess it will make.

And what does Africa think it’s up to? All pictures of Earth should focus on North America. Get out of there, Africa.

Seriously, what the hell is going on here?

What: Mix Tape Comedy
Where: Comedy Sportz Theater
When: February 13th, 2009 at 10:30 PM
Price: $10

Also performing are HUGE Theater and Boytron, two highly recommended groups. Really, I recommend them highly.

I don’t know why you wouldn’t go. Valentine’s Day is a day for sleeping in, after all. That’s what love is about.